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Author Topic: If my HIV is 18, does that mean it gets to vote too?  (Read 2950 times)

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Offline MarcoPoz

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  • Posts: 397
If my HIV is 18, does that mean it gets to vote too?
« on: July 10, 2009, 01:47:06 PM »
Hey all!

So this week will be 18 years since my diagnosis.  Yes, I was one of THOSE who was told at first to "get my affairs in order' and recieved a prognosis of 3 years, 5 years if I was 'lucky'.  Handfulls of those blue and white gut bombs that were the AZT of yesteryear and a scattering and smattering of side effects, depression, friends dying, wanting to die myself, hospital rooms, whellchairs, ER's, love, support, sexual problems, joyous orgasms, and surviving 3 job changes and 2 home purchases...all to bring me to this spot in time.

So, does one become more wise the longer they've survived the battle?  I think so.  I no longer make as many knee-jerk reactions to health chnages and am more able to 'surf' the wave until new information is found.  However, the longer exposed to the carnage of this war, the easier it has been for me to drift to the surreal edge of the experience.

I've leanred that I am here more through the will and love of others caring for me than anything I've probably done--except to be open to love, myself.   I have lived a life close to beautiful caring souls and I have been very fortunate. 

I have also dealt with devistating lonliness despite the multitudes 'close' to me.  In a way, I'm thankful that there aren't more straight men like me living with HIV.  I really hope fewer and fewer people become HIV positive.  At the same time, I've grown to accept that I will always be the 'odd' man out in a group of odd people out.  No self pity here, just a fact.  There are very few of us who know this experience from this view.

I've buried so many that I've loved. So many others thought they'd have buried me long ago.

You can actually LIVE with HIV, and if you work at it, you can live WELL with HIV.  Living well in my definition has nothing to do with the medical side of living with this disease.  I need no convincing that it has and will shorten my life and will most likely be the cause of my death.

Living well means to me--finding that space in between breaths to laugh at the absurd, cry without shame and live my life as the Man I always wanted to become.  To live like I 'have a pair' and realize that no matter how the philosophers and theologians try, their words still distill down in me to simply mean..

It's only life.  Live it like you're alive in each moment and the rest will take care of itself.

So, my 18th year begins with a promise to laugh, hug, run, sweat, play, nap, waste time, eat, drink, enjoy, raise hell, cum, debate and love...simply, to live fully ALIVE.     

Offline hivsweden

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  • Posts: 81
Re: If my HIV is 18, does that mean it gets to vote too?
« Reply #1 on: July 10, 2009, 05:18:39 PM »
Congratulations! On surviving and managing to live well having had such a tough "starting position".

If your hiv is 18 yrs I would kick it out and ask it to support itself. At 18 it's time to get its own life.  :D

Take care and may you live fully alive for many more years yet. Few people manage to live that way poz or neg.

Offline AndyArrow

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  • Posts: 1,196
Re: If my HIV is 18, does that mean it gets to vote too?
« Reply #2 on: July 10, 2009, 10:42:01 PM »
Heres to many more years living a positive example to others!  ;)
It is not the arrival that matters.  It is the journey along the way. -- Michel Montaigne

Offline AlanBama

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  • Alabama: the 'other' 3rd World Country!
Re: If my HIV is 18, does that mean it gets to vote too?
« Reply #3 on: July 11, 2009, 06:21:55 PM »
Congratulations, and here's to the next 18 !   ;D
"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline Theyer

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  • Posts: 2,695
  • Current ambition. Walk the Dog .
Re: If my HIV is 18, does that mean it gets to vote too?
« Reply #4 on: October 16, 2009, 08:21:53 AM »
wise words mr.marcopoz
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn


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