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Author Topic: MILK  (Read 3259 times)

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Offline Robert

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« on: May 11, 2009, 01:48:39 AM »

I'v e been in a blue funk all day.  Thinking of the recent past and the choices I've made and longing for the simple past of crusin' the Castro and picking up boys.

I saw Milk last night.  Finally.  I'm slow on the uptake.  I knew what I was in for so I grabbed a clean t-shirt from the drawer (couldn't find a box of Kleenex) and curled up on the sofa.  It was everything you all said it was and more.  But today all I could do was dwell on one scene over and over and that is what caused the waves of nostalgia.

Near the beginning when Harvey and Scott move to San Francisco and set up shop in the Castro, there is a scene where they're standing outside and along come a 3 or 4 guys laughing and giggling and making their way down the sidewalk.  Harvey  yells out to them and Cleve Jones turns around and says he doesn't date guys over 40.  Harvey's not deterred and urges Cleve to come back and talk, for just a minute.  Cleve then turns away, catches up with his friends and off they go, like I said, laughing and giggling. 

Cleve is probably 22 years old.  Small frame with big ol' ass-framed glasses on his head.  That was so me. 

I moved to California in 1974 (24 years old). I had been living in Denver but felt the pull of SF.  I moved to Sacramento, 76 miles E. of The City. Close enough.  I didn't know a soul.  My first weekend in Sacramento, I went to a dirty book store and  asked where the gay bars were (there was no Damron's at the time).  I found the bars, starting talking to people, making friends and my new adventure was off and running.

Soon my friends and I were driving to SF for the weekends.  Cruising Polk and Castro and laughing and giggling and having the times of our lives.    Eventually all of our lives would take some unfortunate turns (and some not so unfortunate) but that's not what this post is about.  It's about taking chances, starting a new life, making friends, dancing, drugs, sex, bars.   

I needed the clean t-shirt because it was sad watching Harvey and knowing how it would end.  But that's not what put in my funk today.

It was Cleve and his friends that disrupted my day.  Me and my friends.  We've all gone our own ways.

So check out the pictures.  All circa 1978.  Check the glasses.  The black guy is Jim, my first lover.  The Mexican is Richard, my roommate.  Along with Jim and Richard there was Dennis the hairdresser, Dwayne, the Mama's boy, Kevin the IQ.  Like I said, when I saw Cleve and his friends, it was me and my friends.

Back then I had lots of hope.  Today not so much.  Well, that's not true.  I just hope for different things.   Not so bad.


[attachment deleted by admin]

Offline komnaes

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« Reply #1 on: May 11, 2009, 06:53:49 AM »
Hey Robert,

Just wanna said I like what you wrote..

As for me.. I arrived at a different era via different routes. It was early 90s; I just got accepted by Berkeley and joined my sister who was already married and living in Albany. Castro at the time was a very beaten down place and AIDS death was at its peak - folks were dropping like flies when I began volunteering for a few organizations like GAPA, doing anything and everything from giving out condoms in bars, visiting dying patients and one of my special jobs was acting as translator for Chinese parents who didn't understand what was going on with their sons....

Castro changed me in many ways - I last visited it just a few months back, meeting a fellow forum member whom I have become soulmate with via the internet. We walked around the area and along Market, passing the (old?) office of GAPA.. I remember at one point I was looking around, realizing the scenery has not changed so much since I left and returned to Asia, but it was me who's changed....

Me and my friend talked for a long time.. and he was kind enough to drive me back to my sister's place, the same road I was driving on so many times. I was so lost in thought that after I told him to make a turn into University, thinking that we would just hit Shattuck, I got us lost.. it was the same when we were walking around the "ghetto" to look for a place to eat.. suddenly I didn't know which way to turn to Noe to find my favorite restaurant that I wanted to take him..

I still don't know whether my mind was actively blocking some memories.. or I was just so lost in my own thoughts that day..

Hugs, Shaun
Aug 07 Diagnosed
Oct 07 CD4=446(19%) Feb 08 CD4=421(19%)
Jun 08 CD4=325(22%) Jul 08 CD4=301(18%)
Sep 08 CD4=257/VL=75,000 Oct 08 CD4=347(16%)
Dec 08 CD4=270(16%)
Jan 09 CD4=246(13%)/VL=10,000
Feb 09 CD4=233(15%)/VL=13,000
Started meds Sustiva/Epzicom
May 09 CD4=333(24%)/VL=650
Aug 09 CD4=346(24%)/VL=UD
Nov 09 CD4=437(26%)/VL=UD
Feb 10 CD4=471(31%)/VL=UD
June 10 CD4=517 (28%)/VL=UD
Sept 10 CD4=687 (31%)/VL=UD
Jan 11 CD4=557 (30%)/VL=UD
April 11 CD4=569 (32%)/VL=UD
Switched to Epizcom, Reyataz and Norvir
(Interrupted for 2 months with only Epizcom & Reyataz)
July 11 CD=520 (28%)/VL=UD
Oct 11 CD=771 (31%)/VL=UD(<30)
April 12 CD=609 (28%)/VL=UD(<20)
Aug 12 CD=657 (29%)/VL=UD(<20)
Dec 12 CD=532 (31%)/VL=UD(<20)
May 13 CD=567 (31%)/VL=UD(<20)
Jan 14 CD=521 (21%)/VL=UD(<50)

Offline mjmel

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« Reply #2 on: May 11, 2009, 04:59:18 PM »
Big sigh.
Ah, Robert.

and this...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fjiapiq-hqY

edit: Just remembered. you are still with slow dail up. sorry, I forgot.
« Last Edit: May 12, 2009, 06:02:46 AM by mjmel »

Offline Oceanbeach

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« Reply #3 on: May 12, 2009, 05:14:04 PM »
Hey Robert,

I was watching this car movie from 1971 on TV last night.  In Vanishing Point, the lead character is driving a fast car from Denver to San Francisco and on a short schedule so he takes a lot of speed.  Cops chase him to the state line and somehow, he ends up in Death Valley.  (Delaney and Bonnie sing there).  Cleavon Little, as a blind disc jockey guided him through three states, which could explain why he went to Death Valley instead of Donner.  I think Donner is the fastest route.

Here I am in the present day, living in a mountain cabin on a river and trying to spend as much time as possible in San Francisco, I would live there if I could afford it.  You have lived in San Francisco and moved clear up to Red Bluff.  There was a man I knew in Long Beach who owned some bars and houses, he bought a ranch and a bar up there in Red Bluff.  Jimmy asked me once if I dated older men, I said, "No, Jimmy, I used to date older men and then I became their age."  ;D  Have the best day
« Last Edit: May 12, 2009, 05:17:35 PM by Sonomabeach »

Offline decayingsinner

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« Reply #4 on: May 13, 2009, 09:56:21 PM »
I saw this movie for the first time this weekend and I don't know..... the movie was alright, a little over the top gay for me. But the whole ending had me in shock for 15 minutes afterward. I never really knew about this guy but it overall it was pretty good.

Offline mjmel

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« Reply #5 on: May 14, 2009, 06:29:37 PM »
I saw this movie for the first time this weekend and I don't know..... the movie was alright, a little over the top gay for me. But the whole ending had me in shock for 15 minutes afterward. I never really knew about this guy but it overall it was pretty good.

 :o  "A little over the top gay for me?" Really? I thought it was well done and not overacted.
And......that was the tame version. You shoulda been around (lose in the streets) in those days.

a decaying sinner, huh.


Offline Robert

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« Reply #6 on: May 14, 2009, 10:03:23 PM »

...over the top....

Hardly.  LIke Mike says, the movie doesn't even come close to what really went on. 

I've always thought the 70's were sort of the joyful and carefree days of the gay movement, when 'anything goes.'  It was post Stonewall and pre AIDS.

By the way, the California Legislature is considering a bill to designate a day a year to honor Harvey Milk.


Offline Grasshopper

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« Reply #7 on: June 13, 2009, 02:37:37 PM »
Directors cut :http://perezhilton.com/category/gay-gay-gay/

Offline Life

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  • Member 2005
« Reply #8 on: June 13, 2009, 04:13:12 PM »
Robert, I think I have watched both "Milk" and "The Life and Times of Harvey Milk" 3 or 4 times and always thought I could have been there to see some of that in my past. If you have not seen the original TLATOHM, I recommend it.  Fills in alot of holes that Milk does not show.   I was looking seriously at the film school at USC in 83 and was about to pack up and go and things got confusing and I thought I would take a year off to sort it all out.  Well 27 years later in the rockies, I am still sorting things out.  Lots of wishes I would have followed my dreams as you did.  But, I feel I would not have made it this far as I was a very promiscuous guy in the 80's and I would have picked up what I picked up 4 years ago alot earlier and it would most likely put me down with my kind of luck...  Still wish I could have gone tho... 



Offline aztecan

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  • Posts: 5,517
  • 32 years positive, 60 years a pain in the butt
« Reply #9 on: June 14, 2009, 09:01:33 PM »
Hey Robert,
I wasn't living in California when Milk was alive, but I did visit many times.

I agree, it didn't cover all that went on by a long shot.

Those were happy, carefree days. I understand why you felt a bit melancholy after seeing Milk.

HUGS, old friend,


PS - I hope you don't mind Robert, but I just had to post this photo of us in San Francisco - albeit more recently.

[attachment deleted by admin]
« Last Edit: June 15, 2009, 09:43:22 AM by aztecan »
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline fearless

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  • Posts: 2,191
« Reply #10 on: June 14, 2009, 11:11:26 PM »
Beautiful post and great pictures, Roberto.

I can only imagine the sorts of things you got up to in those days - me being young, sweet and innocent and all  :D

Be forgiving, be grateful, be optimistic

Offline Oceanbeach

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  • Posts: 3,565
« Reply #11 on: June 17, 2009, 10:49:09 PM »
Members and people on the AAA Travel mailing list are receiving a mailer with a choice of tour packages and destinations around the world, right now.

For $303.00 per person, a member can take the "In with the Out Crowd" 3 day tour of San Francisco.  

"Get in with the out crowd in the city that started it all!  From the top-rated hotel of your choosing, you'll explore the eclectic neighborhoods and rich culture of this incredible city.  The Crusin' the Castro Walking Tour leds you to a leisurely walk through history- where Harvey Milk changed the course of civil rights and the LGBT culture forever.  Make a weekend of it, or add on tours to the wine country or the King Tut exhibit at the de Young Museum."

Members get a free leather AAA Sojourns photo album and 24- hour concierge services

 ;D  Have the best day
« Last Edit: June 17, 2009, 10:51:29 PM by Sonomabeach »


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