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Author Topic: Imagine ....  (Read 2312 times)

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Offline Alefou

  • Member
  • Posts: 62
Imagine ....
« on: April 07, 2009, 09:28:34 AM »
It's 8 am, you start waking up. An usual day, nothing different than usual ...  You are living with HIV for a while now. Things are going better. You take your pills as usual and you are prepared for going to work. You are still scared of this disease as everyone like us are. You look at the TV with your coffee like every morning. Special edition :  Some researchers foud out that the vast majority of patient under a clinical trial became HIV negative under a new therapeutic treatment. Immediatly, the placebo group has been informed and given the new traitement. According to the researchers, almost all patient became HIV free ... Extraordinary measures are being taken to produce this treatment on a large scale. HIV is almost over. Yes it was a day like usual, I hope that this day can happen .... And i'm sure it will happen without warning, like that, and all our lives will be changed .... Every morning when I wake I have hope ... It will happen when we will never think it would have happened this day ... Like almost everything in life ....
12/16/2008 : Probable infection
12/26/2008 : ARS (Flu for one week)
01/15/2009 : HIV rapid test neg
01/28/2009 : Rapid test poz
01/31/2009 : Two EIA Poz
02/03/2009 : WB pos, CD4 : 832 (32%), VL : 116k copies/ml
03/08/2009 : CD4 : 836 (38%), VL : 104k

Offline mpositive

  • Member
  • Posts: 298
Re: Imagine ....
« Reply #1 on: April 07, 2009, 10:24:56 AM »
Nice......funny...I had the same dream.

Offline Miss Philicia

  • Member
  • Posts: 24,793
  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Re: Imagine ....
« Reply #2 on: April 07, 2009, 10:37:45 AM »
I've actually never had this dream.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline sharkdiver

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,352
Re: Imagine ....
« Reply #3 on: April 07, 2009, 10:39:52 PM »
In the back of my mind I think..."wouldn't it be wonderful...?"

But Mostly I think about what I'm going to do right now, or setting new goals for myself, or how to improve what I'm doing with my life.

Offline odyssey

  • Member
  • Posts: 768
  • One Crazy Mofo!
Re: Imagine ....
« Reply #4 on: April 08, 2009, 01:45:17 PM »
Maybe its unusual, but I've never really had this dream/thought. I mean, I've cried because I didn't WANT to be poz, but I guess I've always (for the three months I've known I was poz) considered it a permanent thing. For me, I'm not expecting a cure. I figure, if they haven't come up with a cure for the flu, they probably won't come up with a cure for HIV soon either. So I just deal with it like it'll be permanent in my life. Is this weird or something?
01/09/09- diagnosed HIV+
01/16/09   CD4-425    22%  VL- 32,415
11/09- started Reyetaz/Norvir/Truvada
03/10- stopped R/N/T
10/18/11   CD4- 328   20%  VL- 84,000
10/25/11   CD4- 386   22%
10/28/11- start Truvada/Reyetaz/Norvir
12/30/11  CD4- 523  29%
03/08/12  CD4- 503  31%  VL 57
07/02/12  CD4- 897  43%
08/31/12  CD4- 745  39%
12/27/12  CD4- 884  40%
03/28/13  CD4- 819  39%
07/19/13  CD4- 739  40%
10/17/13  CD4- 535  36%
01/16/14  CD4- 743  43%

02/14- switched from R/N/T to Tivicay/Epzicom because of CKD 3 suspected from tenofovir.

03/14- switched back to R/N/T due to severe nausea and inability to eat on T/E.
04/01/14 CD4- 898  42%   VL-

Offline dtwpuck

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,013
  • дано мне тело, что мне делать с ним?
Re: Imagine ....
« Reply #5 on: April 08, 2009, 10:34:38 PM »
It would be nice, but I'm not going to live my life hoping beyond hope that there will be some kind of white light to save me.   I am responsible for my own life and own actions.  So, I'm thinking that I will just figure out a way to be happy with what I have right now, today.   If good things come along, then great.  But I already know that I'm going to die someday.  I'm pretty sure that I don't know what of or how.  I'm also pretty sure that I am never doing enough to let the people I love know how I feel.  So, that's where I'm going to focus.    And, if that sunshine and rainbow place over the horizon comes, then I guess I will pull out my ruby slippers too.  If I can find them. 

Floating through the void in the caress of two giant pink lobsters named Esmerelda and Keith.

Offline justaguy

  • Member
  • Posts: 83
Re: Imagine ....
« Reply #6 on: April 08, 2009, 11:27:59 PM »
I'm only a week into absorbing the reality of my positive diagnosis...  OF course, I'm still a bit numb, but my thoughts are a balance of "I'm stuck with it for the rest of my life" and that hopeful "think of what all they've done in the last twenty years, and what more they can do in the next twenty".  I'm just thankful for the meds that are here NOW...so very thankful, and I haven't even started yet. 
Estimated infection: 3/2008
Tested HIV positive: 3/31/2009
CD4 136/unknown %/VL 150,000: 4/6/2009
Started Atripla 4/17/2009
CD4 255/19%/VL 409 5/27/2009
CD4 247/??/VL 161 6/27/2009
CD4 257/21%/VL 60 7/22/2009
CD4 352/22%/VL Undetectable 10/21/2009
CD4 490/27%/VL Undetectable 2/15/2010
CD4 397/?/VL Undetectable 7/2/2010

Offline randym431

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,131
Re: Imagine ....
« Reply #7 on: April 10, 2009, 10:26:00 AM »
For me... now... my imagine or perfect world would be to just stay on meds that work long term and have the ability to retire on SS disability on a livable SS disb income.
What Im getting at is… Im on meds that are working (long term so far), but working day in and out
is the test of stress on the body. On paper, I qualify for a decent SS disb income, and would do fine.
I could then take it easy focusing on staying healthy, taking the meds, daily life.
But while I am so grateful Im doing so well on the meds, working full time is still kicking me in the backside.
Just keeping up is a real challenge. But I doubt I could, now, quality for SS disab. My numbers are too good (in their opinion, Im doing fine).
And like a lot of us here, I must keep working full time to keep the insurance.
In a perfect world, one would get the all SS disb help they need to live on, so we could focus on meds and health. Funny how it doesn’t work out. But I know I shouldn’t complain when so many others are having a much more difficult time just taking the meds and getting by on a daily basis.
« Last Edit: April 10, 2009, 10:27:55 AM by randym431 »

Offline Dale Parker

  • Member
  • Posts: 266
Re: Imagine ....
« Reply #8 on: May 03, 2009, 02:21:30 AM »
Sorry to have a negative attitude guys and gals but this is one of my pet peeves.  If you've read any of my previous post you will know that I usually always have a really positive attitude.
   I've never had that dream. I do believe that it is a fantasy. Even if they do find a cure for HIV and Aids we will never know about it.  I saw 7 doctors with skin problems and I am convinced that all they cared about was the number of times I came. Getting a chargeable billing and kick backs from the drug companies was money in their pockets.  Yes there are great caring doctors out there but they are far and few betwen. I have finally found a great one but it was after I diagnosed the fact that I was HIV+ myself.  Doctors who are specialists (no matter what their fields of expertise) are the ones who really want to help you.
    Cures for aids, cancer, heart disease etc. will never see the light of day.  How many times have you heard about a car that will get 200 miles to the gallon and have never heard about it again. Oil companies bought the patents because it would greatly reduce their profits.  It's the same with drug companies.  Just think of all the people that would be out of work if HIV/Aids could be cured with a 10 day course of antibiotics.  The layoffs would make the current worries of GM going bankrupt small in comparison.  Doctors, nurses, lab techs, insurance people, drug company employees, even the people who make the test tubes would be affected.  As long as we are on the meds and living a long life they will be making a ton of money. 
   Sorry to be so negative.  I do believe that every once in a while fantasies do come true and I hope that the cure for hiv/aids will be one of them.
« Last Edit: May 03, 2009, 02:23:35 AM by Dale Parker »
Apr 09  CD4 21, CD4/CD8 ratio 0 VL 500,000+
July 09 CD4 158, CD4/CD812% VL 750
Oct 09 CD4 157 CD4/CD8 14% VL UD
Feb 10 CD4 197, CD4/CD8 11% VL UD
May 10  CD4 252 CD4/CD8 12% VL UD
Aug 10 CD4 211 VL UD
Nov 10 CD4 272 CD4/CD8 0.138 VL UD

Offline joemutt

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,063
Re: Imagine ....
« Reply #9 on: May 03, 2009, 03:57:21 AM »
I'm just happy to still be here, the meds don't bother me so much.
The only fear I would have is when a preventivevaccin would be found
that new retroviral development for the remaining hiv poz would come to a stand still.

Offline northernguy

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,347
Re: Imagine ....
« Reply #10 on: May 03, 2009, 09:02:50 PM »
I'm just happy to still be here, the meds don't bother me so much.
The only fear I would have is when a preventivevaccin would be found
that new retroviral development for the remaining hiv poz would come to a stand still.

I must admit I've worried about that as well.  I feel selfish for thinking it, but there you go...
Apr 28/06 cd4 600 vl 10,600 cd% 25
Nov 8/09 cd4 510 vl 49,5000 cd% 16
Jan 16/10 cd4 660 vl 54,309 cd% 16
Feb 17/10 Started Atripla
Mar 7/10 cd4 710 vl 1,076 cd% 21
Apr 18/10 cd4 920 vl 268 cd% 28
Jun 19/10 cd4 450 vl 60 cd% 25
Aug 15/10 cd4 680 vl 205 cd% 27
Apr 3/11 cd4 780 vl <40 cd% 30
Jul 17/11 cd4 960 vl <40 cd%33
April 15/12 cd4 1,010 vl <40 cd% 39
April 20/12 Switched to Viramune + Truvada
Aug 2/12 cd4 1040, vl <40, cd% 38
Oct 19 cd4 1,110 vl <40 cd% 41


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