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Author Topic: so it's been almost a year....  (Read 3330 times)

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Offline cherrybomb

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  • Posts: 5
so it's been almost a year....
« on: March 14, 2009, 08:29:02 pm »
since my best friend in the whole world tested positive for HIV. I still feel like it is sinking in and has not gotten any easier. I realize it won't get any easier. But it still hasn't sunk in for him yet, nor has it for me. I still don't feel as if it's real. I understand that this is one of the coping mechanisms for grief, the denial stage. How does this get easier? Will it never feel reaL for him? I'm more worried about his acceptance than mine, but it just doesn't feel real for either of us. And should I let him talk about it when he wants to? or bring it up on my own?

Offline xyahka

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  • Posts: 808
  • Dance together!! aha!! aha!! I like it!!
Re: so it's been almost a year....
« Reply #1 on: March 15, 2009, 11:44:27 pm »
Hi, feel free to talk or let him talk, just follow what your heart tells you, your friend will appreciate it. Just one thing... be careful with the words you choose... we tend to become a bit picky at the beginning.

And about feeling it real... yes it does feel real with the time. Time heals everything and you learn to get along with this, i am in my second year... and this one has been easier, two days ago i had my hiv anniversary and didn't cry :) that's good sign :).

Just remember your friend live with this, but this is not everything in his life and try to make him understand that.


Juan Carlos
13/03/07 1er diagnóstico /Peso: 79kg
19/04/07 CD4: 494 /CViral: ?? /Peso: 80kg
19/07/07 CD4: 659 /CViral: ?? /Peso: 79.5kg
06/03/08 CD4: 573 (después de meses muy deprimido) /CViral: ?? /Peso: 79kg
17/09/08 CD4: ?? /CViral: ?? /Peso: 84Kg
06/02/09 CD4: ?? /CViral: ?? /Peso: 85Kg /HCV: Neg /HBV: Neg.
07/03/09 CD4: ?? /CViral: ?? /Peso: 87Kg / Gym 3días/semana y Natación 2días/semana.
12/05/09 CD4: 470 /Cviral: ?? /Peso: 87Kg.
08/07/09 CD4: ? /CViral: ? /Peso: 77Kg.
09/12/09 CD4: 510 /CViral: ? /Peso: 78kg. No medicinas aún
10/01/10 CD4: ? /CViral: ? /Peso: 76Kg.
15/05/10 CD4: 320 /CViral: ? /Peso: 76Kg.
01/02/11 CD4: 291 /CViral: ? /Peso: 78kg.
05/05/11 CD4: 366 /CViral: ? /Peso: 78kg.
27/07/11 CD4: 255 /CViral: 138000 /Peso: 78kg.

Disfrutando y aceptando una nueva vida...

Offline megasept

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  • Posts: 478
  • Steven here...
Re: so it's been almost a year....
« Reply #2 on: March 17, 2009, 11:13:48 am »
personally, i wouldn't take the supposed "stages" of anything as dogma. find you own formula (or none at all).

i get that floating "isn't happening to me" feeling sometimes too. during the first few years i knew my status but felt no hiv side effects; i had pages of lab work that spelled "ill' but no sense of being sick (or is it the other way around?). i used to say  "i live in healthy denial". as long as you know the truth, keep monitoring everything (for the patient, i mean), what's wrong or right about feeling any way but miserable? illness is part of life. life goes on. the day i learned my diagnosis, i simply went back to work. even though I feel some aspects of illness 24/7 now (it's 18 years later), i'd still prefer to make life happen, than simply let it happen to me. maybe this will help.

good luck and good health to you both!

 8)  -megasept


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