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Author Topic: Poz? Maybe, but really, unglued.  (Read 2374 times)

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Offline Tappestry

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Poz? Maybe, but really, unglued.
« on: March 04, 2009, 10:53:28 PM »

So here is my story, I finally put it all together, and honestly I feel so stupid that I didn't realise the truth earlier...  Thats how it goes sometimes...people can pull such a blanket over your eyes that you didn't even notice untill there is nothing left in your life...

My boyfriend, of about 6- months just broke up with me, basically threw me out on the streets.  The details are really not that important, but more so the story.  We met in the middle of september last year.  We slept together for about a month, when in the middle of October he found out from a test that he was positive.  I assured him he would be ok and we could work through it.  Apparently that didn't work out haha...anyways, He told me then, in October he found out he had HIV.

After today, in a motel room by myself for the 2nd night, I read his seroconverstion carefully, as I really always trusted him 100% and just heard him out, not bothering to read what he was posting.., but I was wrong, I shouldn't have trusted him.  He knew he was positive TWO MONTHS before we got together.  We slept together for a month unprotected and HE KNEW he was HIV positive...He lied to me and told me he found out in October, and he knew since July...

Now here I am, having to get tested, single, dumped, and completely unglued.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Poz? Maybe, but really, unglued.
« Reply #1 on: March 05, 2009, 07:58:37 AM »
Tap, you can't undo what's been done. Going forward you need to take good care of yourself. One big step in doing that is for you to get tested.

Even though you had unprotected sex, it is not a foregone conclusion that you will test positive. Also, by unprotected sex I assume you mean anal intercourse, because that's the only confirmed risk sexually for transmission of HIV.

You can test anytime now for a baseline result. If you test negative, for a conclusively reliable result you will still need to re-test at 13 weeks past the last time you had unprotected sex.

On a going forward basis you need to learn from this hard experience. Always without exception use condoms for anal intercourse, whether you are inserting or receiving. No exceptions until if and when you find yourself sometime in a securely monogamous relationship in which both partners reliably test negative together.

Meanwhile, good luck with putting things together for yourself after this experience. Keep us posted on your results.

Andy Velez

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Poz? Maybe, but really, unglued.
« Reply #2 on: March 05, 2009, 08:58:05 AM »

You should be testing regularly anyway.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Good luck with your test results. Keep us posted.

Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Tappestry

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Re: Poz? Maybe, but really, unglued.
« Reply #3 on: March 05, 2009, 01:25:47 PM »
Thanks for the advice and good support.

It just goes to show, no matter what someone tells you, or how much you trust them, think of yourself first.. I hope he doesn't do this to the next guy as well.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Poz? Maybe, but really, unglued.
« Reply #4 on: March 05, 2009, 03:31:46 PM »
Yes, I hope so as well. Meantime what is more immediately to the point is you and your health. And that on a going forth basis you be commited to always practicing safer sex by using condoms consistently.

Often even people who are well meaning don't necessarily know their HIV status accurately. And when passion is stirred and someone appears to be healthy and otherwise appealing, all-too-often caution goes out the window as clothing comes off. So no matter how terrific or attractive someone is, being committed to ALWAYS condoms is a MUST.

Fingers crossed that you come out of this ok.

Andy Velez


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