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Author Topic: at the dinner table  (Read 1746 times)

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Offline traveltramp

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  • Posts: 40
at the dinner table
« on: January 09, 2009, 08:59:04 PM »
I am shocked.. (a lie).. I am surprised (a lie).. I am livid (ahh.. the truth)... I am with a friend of mine (well.. at least she thinks so..) and I am invited to dinner with two of her co-workers...  I have lived with this "friend" for 6 weeks now.. not that it matters, actually I hate her guts.. and she knows I am positive...... so here we are.. at a table with "friend" and female co-worker.. who is about 20 years senior of my friend and happens to be wearing the same color combination of cloths.. maybe quinky dink maybe  sub conscious agreement... who the fuck cares.. and the token flamboyant gay guy and me........
and the conversation goes... bla bla bla bla... "friend  says to old twin sister.... and did you know that.. so and so has HIV"  ... now.. I am pissed..

I FUCKING hate the fact that people need to throw this little gem out on the table to see where it goes.. I of course don't accept this and say to them "WTF! How fucking rude to say such a thing about another person.. It IS NOT UP TO YOU DINGBATS to talk about someones status.. It is NO ones business if someone is HIV POSITIVE or has Herpes  (I said this only because "friend" knows that I know she has it.. haha.. look of death.. " It is not like I should go around telling people that someone has fucking HERPES or something else!"

OK.. vent over.. it was a tragic ending and I am now "on notice" to get the fuck out of the house ASAP.. so fine with me..."

Point is.. why the hell do people who are NON HIV love to fucking disclose peoples status like it is some golden nugget of gossip.. I HATE THIS SO FUCKING MUCH...

Granted I trusted her with the info and now I am as usual pissed off about it.. truth is I think it just fucking sucks ....

I feel better now..
have a nice evening..
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Offline BT65

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Re: at the dinner table
« Reply #1 on: January 10, 2009, 10:55:27 AM »
Why are there gossip shows on t.v.?  People are people, curious and inquisitive.  Unfortunately, sometimes that comes at the expense of someone else. 

I have one friend who I tell anything and everything to and I know she keeps it to herself.  But, it took years of knowing her to build up that trust. 

Other than that friend, anything I tell anyone else I know I do at the risk of them spreading it around.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

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Offline Moffie65

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,755
  • Living POZ since 1983
Re: at the dinner table
« Reply #2 on: January 10, 2009, 12:13:41 PM »
I have about four or five real friends in my life, which makes me wealthy beyond belief. 

Other than that, being out on the front page of the paper, makes it possible to not give a fuck what anyone thinks about my HIV.  I will not ever accept anyone's stigma, and I will not live under the surpression of anyone's feelings, hate, dogma or anything else that doesn't come from my own mind.

Guess that pretty much sets me up to be in your postition, and I will not let anyone discuss anyone elses status in my presence.  To do so is the ultimate acceptance of stigma.

Hope this makes sense.
The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals,
and 362 to heterosexuals.
This doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals,
It's just that they need more supervision.
Lynn Lavne

Offline Peacock

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  • Posts: 72
Re: at the dinner table
« Reply #3 on: January 10, 2009, 02:01:34 PM »
 :D you make me laugh! ( I just love how you express yourself!)I think you made a very good point to youre ex-friend...dont throw stones if you live in a glass house.
Youre ex-friend was obviously trying to rub you up the wrong way, because what she said was very insensitive (since she was aware of your status, and trying to make Hiv sensational). imagine if it had been you who had started a conversation about someone you know.. who has OMG- HERPES ... :o
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Offline Black Jade

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  • Posts: 8
Re: at the dinner table
« Reply #4 on: January 10, 2009, 07:25:51 PM »
Trying to make HIV sensational... get that a lot. newbies either feel like crawiling under a rock or getting on the mountain top to proclaim their status, flaunt either their own status or flaunt their incredible knowledge of what "it" is, and play up to the spotlight... as a newbie this can take over in more ways than one when you start questioning the what now ---, is there an angle to use this to my advantage instead of feeling upstaged  by a virus? Instead of naming other people to gauge "other" peoples feelings about HIV, much better to just put yurself on the plate, or on the front page than what she did... now you know.

Am i off topic here, some people just put it out there to find out what they can milk out of it.

I cannot disclose to my one true friend --- maybe because i've always been the rock or sounding board (whichever was needed at the time). We have been friends for over ten years, the first 4 of which we thought we were bound by some great love, that died a while ago. Looking at our relationship right now i do not think i can stand the look of disappointment or judgement, i've always been the sensible one --- how do i now catch something like this.  it's a lonely road. My sister knows but she's those people who studied  medicine and gives those get over  yourself lectures. All that being said , she would never blurt out hat i had HIV --- she would somehow, the stigma would splatter to her too. maybe your friend was just trying to see if there would be any major ripples and splatter or if it was sfe to wear this as a  crown... gone about the wrong way.

There are a lot of things to make one angry,  i had an encounter with someone who deals with HIV patients every day --- as a receptionist and she was going on and on about how she was afraid she was catching something from these "people"and she was going to speak to this doc who employs her to innoculate her or something... like she was just going to catch it from the air. i got very angry and the peron hadnt even had themselves tested either --- "oh because these were balck people in the township etc, i swear she made it sound like she was dealing with Ebola!

Offline red_Dragon888

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  • Love and Be Love in Return
Re: at the dinner table
« Reply #5 on: January 10, 2009, 10:14:02 PM »
i would stay away from these people.

Off Crystal Meth since May 13, 2013.  In recovery with 20 months clean time.


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