Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
October 22, 2017, 05:25:12 AM

Login with username, password and session length

  • Total Members: 31675
  • Latest: Lucia99
  • Total Posts: 721064
  • Total Topics: 58494
  • Online Today: 357
  • Online Ever: 1421
  • (August 13, 2016, 05:18:44 AM)
Users Online


Welcome to the POZ Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Author Topic: Ex girlfriend has Hiv  (Read 4159 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline zhalla

  • New Member
  • Posts: 2
Ex girlfriend has Hiv
« on: November 26, 2008, 07:06:57 AM »

This is my first post here, i've found out this forum a couple of weeks ago while searching for hiv info after my 3yrs girlfriend disclosed her status. It felt comforting finding out that there was hope and that hiv isn't the death sentence i thought it was.

So here's my story, my gf cheated on me last year and got involved with someone + (he knew of his status), they had unprotected sex so she also got it...

That person told her he was + short time after, so she soon found out of her status and avoided further sexual contact with me, claiming she just wasnt in the mood to have sex and that need some space.

Ultimately she confessed everything and asked for a 2nd chance, but i decided to break up with her because i loved and trusted her more than anyone and that trust is gone now... cheating is a dealbreaker for me...

Anyway, I still care alot for her and I want to support her, as a friend, in this tough times, but I have been having difficulties supporting her properly... I want to get close and talk with her everyday, but if I do that i'm hurting myself and giving false hope to getting back together.

I am sorry if this isn't much clear and if I am not using proper English, but would really like to hear some opinions and if anyone was in a similar situation.


« Last Edit: November 26, 2008, 07:22:36 AM by zhalla »

Offline jennynyc7

  • Member
  • Posts: 146
Re: Ex girlfriend has Hiv
« Reply #1 on: November 26, 2008, 09:14:49 AM »
Hi Z,

Yeah, cheating is definitely a deal breaker for most. You are taking the right steps however in supporting someone that you care for. All you can do for now is soak up all of the information that you can and be there for her as much as possible without of course, like you said, leading her on. I believe that if you are clear on your intentions she should understand, I know I would. I really commend you on being mature about the situation and not deserting her in a time of need. Is she doing ok? Is she on meds? I sincerely wish you the best. I urge you to invite her to join these forums as well. Take care.

Oh, and I am a poz female, recently diagnosed and doing wonderful.

1/3/08-ARS began
Initial Vl=99000
2/14/08-began Truvada/Reyataz/Norvir
3/01/08=Swapped Reyataz for Viramune
5/1/08:     vl= undetectable
10/24/08:  vl=undetectable
                cd4=1172 (55%)

12/4/08:    vl=254 (hopefully just a small blip)

Offline zhalla

  • New Member
  • Posts: 2
Re: Ex girlfriend has Hiv
« Reply #2 on: November 26, 2008, 10:23:38 AM »

Thank you for your kind words jenny. Yes, that's what i have been doing this last few weeks, educating myself the best I can and trying to be as supportive as possible.

I have stated my intentions to her, she understands but thinks that I broke up because of her status, which hurt and still hurts a lot. But I know she is having a real bad time, so I try to be more patient\tolerant.

She seroconverted in january and was diagnosed in february, she started truvada and stocrin(sustiva) 2 months ago and has CD4 350 and undetectable VL. She didnt have many side effects from the meds and the doctor was happy with the blood results, so I guess she is doing good.

I already showed her these forums, but I don't know if she actually joined, so I guess i'll remind her of the good these forums can bring to her.

Once again, thank you for your kind words, I hope you keep doing wonderful. Take care.


Offline hotpuppy

  • Member
  • Posts: 555
Re: Ex girlfriend has Hiv
« Reply #3 on: November 30, 2008, 12:12:42 AM »
She's lucky to have a friend like you who cares enough to still be involved. 

Give her a hug, let her know you love her as a friend.  Stay strong.

If by chance being around her does lead to something sexual, be sure you have condoms available.  It's as much for her protection as yours.

Sometimes hiv neg partners will think too much about themselves.  The reality is that with a screwed up immune system I'm the one who has to worry about getting a sinus infection, cold, etc.  Those are really easy to pickup.
Don't obsess over the wrong things.  Life isn't about your numbers, it isn't about this forum, it isn't about someone's opinion.  It's about getting out there and enjoying it.   I am a person with HIV - not the other way around.


  • Member
  • Posts: 281
Re: Ex girlfriend has Hiv
« Reply #4 on: November 30, 2008, 08:52:34 PM »


Terms of Membership for these forums

© 2017 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.