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Author Topic: can you explain  (Read 2100 times)

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Offline someadvice

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can you explain
« on: November 20, 2008, 08:25:16 AM »
Can you explain why I am stressing so much when my experience is one that has been asked about so many times on here, and each time the experts on here categoricaly state there is no risk.

 I had unprotected fellatio performed on me and I then had protected vaginal sex (for about 2 - 5 mins) I did not come . I removed the condom and I checked it twice by filling it with water to see if it was still intact, which it was. She was a sex worker, she insisted I showered beforehand. I asked her to shower which she did, even though she said she had showered before she came out, the reason I tell you this that she was obviously very careful re hygiene.  I should also inform yound I am married, so I suspect the answer is that I feel guilt. However I can't help but think I am stressing about if I had any exposure, or maybe a bit of both.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: can you explain
« Reply #1 on: November 20, 2008, 08:54:44 AM »
You're right. You are worrying unnecessarily in terms of any risk for HIV during this incident. Getting a blowjob is zero risk for transmission. And you wore a condom for intercourse which is exactly what you needed to do. They provide very effective protection.

Which brings us to guilt, which you mentioned. So you're a dawg like a lot of us here and you went straying. You can't undo that. And torturing yourself about it won't undo that bit of your personal history. See it, accept it, let it go and move on. You may not be planning a repeat session, but if you do, make sure you always use a condom for intercourse. They really do the job.

Being guilty is not a sign of your finer character. It's just poison in a relationship. Give it up and get on with your life. And if it really makes you feel crappy, then avoid the behavior in the future that makes you feel that way is my suggestion.

Andy Velez

Offline someadvice

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Re: can you explain
« Reply #2 on: November 20, 2008, 12:12:47 PM »
you're right as always..thanks for your reply.
No test required would you say?
I guess I should move on and try not to repeat this type of experience.


Offline Andy Velez

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Re: can you explain
« Reply #3 on: November 20, 2008, 01:55:45 PM »
There's absolutely no reason to get tested since you weren't at risk.

And yes, how about letting go the drama and just getting on with your life!
Andy Velez

Offline someadvice

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Re: can you explain
« Reply #4 on: November 20, 2008, 04:37:33 PM »
the thing that does give me the jotters is sites like www.avert.org say that oral sex giving and receiving is a 'small risk'. Rather than no risk..

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: can you explain
« Reply #5 on: November 20, 2008, 05:00:24 PM »
We cannot be responsible for content on other sites. Our transmission information is based on current first-tiered peer-reviewed scientific data.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline someadvice

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Re: can you explain
« Reply #6 on: May 18, 2009, 07:57:26 AM »
I was in Spain witha female stripper. We wnt to a privet room and we stripped and she told me to wash my hands. She then put a condom on before giving me fellatio. I then put my penis on her vagina, not relally in, I had my condom on. I then took the condom off and she gave me a handjob. I did take the condom with me when I left and filled it with water to make sure it was intact and it was.

I was a bit drunk but I can recall all the episode, but I am stressing that what if I forgot and she put my cock in her then gave me a handjob...I know Im crazy.

However I am 2 days short of 10 weeks..would that be ok time to put my mind at ease to have a test?

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: can you explain
« Reply #7 on: May 18, 2009, 08:08:38 AM »

You used a condom, therefore you weren't at risk for hiv infection. Condoms have been PROVEN to prevent hiv infection.

You don't need to test, but if you do, a test at anytime over this incident will be conclusive.

Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts


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