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Author Topic: am I at risk?  (Read 3561 times)

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Offline worriedswede

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am I at risk?
« on: October 25, 2008, 06:04:02 PM »
I really need some help and advice here! IM SO F***ING SCARED! :'(

I'm a 29 yo woman, who had casual sex with unknown male after a crazy night out (stupid)...I was drunk but can recall most (all) parts of the situation (protected intercourse 2-3 times, no oral)!
But please try to forget about the "protected"part..because there IS A BIG RISK THAT THE CONDOME BROKE and he didn't tell me! Maybe it's me being paranoid but I got symptoms of ARS....... :-\ Otherwise I would never had been worried like this!

The symptoms came 26 days after, low grade fever, very sore throat, sore and stiff neck lasting only one night/one day. After 2 days I had serious diarrhea and felt fatigue, tired and sore for maximum of a week, I also had swollen lymph nodes and they are still there 6 months later (around my clavicle, lower neck, groin and behind one ear.

If I wouldn't had these symptoms I wouldn't worry much for HIV since we used condom (always do) and there were no oral sex involved. But I do NOT trust this guy now and I have realised now many months after that he's a liar and lied about many things, probably also about his HIV-status! I called him afterwards and he promised to let me see his neg. test result but changed his mind the day after.

I know you can't say much of my symptoms but I need to know; What is a typical condom breakage? Is there a change of a small hole or do they generally tear totally? Would I have noticed if it was a breakage? I mean it could have been a breakage without him telling me......
Is it possible to have ARS symptoms for a short time like 1 night/1 day?
My lymph nodes are my greatest cause of concern...why are they still swollen????
I JUST WANNA SCREAM! I don't have anybody to talk to...If I'm positive, who should I tell? Can I found love? Can I have a baby? ???
I've got so many questions.....

I'm so scared now...I do understand I have to get a test!
Must say it feels much better after I've been reading many of the other posts in all the diffrent forums...
If I test positive, I guess this site will be my rescue!!!!!!
Please be honest with me, yet I guess I already know I'm +?????? :-\

Thanks to you all, much appreciated! :)

Offline RapidRod

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Re: am I at risk?
« Reply #1 on: October 25, 2008, 06:30:40 PM »
Go get an HIV test. Your test would be conclusive.

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: am I at risk?
« Reply #2 on: October 26, 2008, 06:33:45 AM »

When condoms break, it's very noticable. Besides, he probably would have said something, like maybe asking you if you're on the pill.

Neither symptoms or the lack of them will tell you a single thing about your hiv status. Many people never experience ANY ARS symptoms when they become infected. It's sheer folly to go on symptoms or the lack of them alone to know your hiv status. ONLY testing will do that.

If you're worried about your hiv status, then you'll have to test. A test at three months past your last incident of unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse will be conclusive. In other words, you can test now, as Rodney pointed out, over this incident you're worried about and it will be conclusive.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Keep using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple.

Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline worriedswede

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Re: am I at risk?
« Reply #3 on: October 29, 2008, 05:08:27 PM »
Thanks for replies! :)
Just want to ask if it's possible to have the Primary Infection or sero-conversion 26-27 days after the sex???!!! It's not to long??!!
Please tell me something more about the risk of having condome break...For example; I wouldn't have been able to feel semen down there???  ::)Sorry for nasty details but I can't stop thinking about this!
Fu** i'm scared! :-\

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: am I at risk?
« Reply #4 on: October 29, 2008, 07:08:33 PM »
Whoa! You need to slow down right now and take some good deep and slow breaths in and out. It's way, way premature to talking about whether you can have a baby or not.

From what you have reported you have a single POSSIBLE exposure with a broken condom. You're actually not even certain about that. Ann has already told you that symptoms will never tell you anything accurately and there certainly nothing HIV-specific about anything you are reporting.

So what you need to do is to get tested. The CDC recommends doing that at 13 weeks past the most recent possible exposure. You can if you need to do for your peace of mind take an initial test at 6 weeks. All but the very smallest number of those who are going to seroconvert will do so within 4-6 weeks of an exposure. Assuming you test negative, which I think is very likely, then you should re-test at 13 weeks for a final, conclusive result.

Meantime you need to really work on focusing your attention on other productive matters in your life. That will help to pass the waiting time much more quickly than you likely imagine is possible. But it can be done, so get busy now with other things. And keep doing that breathing whenever you may find yourself tensing up.

Keep us posted on your test results.

Andy Velez

Offline worriedswede

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  • Posts: 3
Re: am I at risk?
« Reply #5 on: October 30, 2008, 01:27:36 PM »
Thanks alot!
I will go and get tested soon, and i'll keep you posted!
/ :-\

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: am I at risk?
« Reply #6 on: October 30, 2008, 02:01:59 PM »
Good and good luck.
Andy Velez


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