Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
October 21, 2017, 09:12:56 AM

Login with username, password and session length

  • Total Members: 31668
  • Latest: Kaz86
  • Total Posts: 721030
  • Total Topics: 58487
  • Online Today: 308
  • Online Ever: 1421
  • (August 13, 2016, 05:18:44 AM)
Users Online


Welcome to the POZ Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Author Topic: Realizations are sometimes scary  (Read 4535 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline HopeandCope

  • Member
  • Posts: 55
    • Hope and Cope
Realizations are sometimes scary
« on: October 07, 2008, 06:24:49 PM »
I was talking to my husband the other night and he asked me how I was doing emotionally regarding my son's HIV and all the issues and I stopped and gathered my thoughts into how I was really feeling.

I am afraid.  Afraid of the meds, of the OIs, the fatique, the Blech feelings and most of all the depression that my child is going through.  I feel my hands are tied with manacles that there is no key to.  I have been sick, Christ, I AM sick.  Knowing what treatment, intrusive tests and Doctor after Doctor is like personally, I am afraid for my son.  I don't want him to go through what I have been through and face today but I also have to stop myself.

I have to stop and realize that my son is of me.  I am strong, he is too.  He will pervail, he will stay strong.  A few years back when I was hospitalized, my boy came into my room and laid down and wrapped his arms around me and said "Mom I'm Here"

I don't have to fear his pain or future but to embrace him every day and let him know I'm here.

Hope and Cope Support Site
A Safe Place for Families & Friends of HIV+ People

Offline amm

  • Member
  • Posts: 3
Re: Realizations are sometimes scary
« Reply #1 on: December 12, 2008, 08:21:06 PM »
Wow. I don't know how your son came to be positive, but I have been considering having a child and know that life doesn't have to be terrible just because you are positive. I am not so far, but my husband is and we want another child and your post scares me a bit. But thank you, nonetheless.

Offline motherinneed

  • Member
  • Posts: 76
Re: Realizations are sometimes scary
« Reply #2 on: December 19, 2008, 05:10:54 AM »
My son is HIV positive.. sometimes it feels like my heart is about to burst with fear and saddness. I look at him and look in his eyes and would do anything to take that virus out of  his body. But then I see he is being strong and having courage..he even jokes about not having to pay his school loan back as he will be dead...and I must not break down..I must respect his courage.But it  still hurts. I know somewhere inside he is scared. HIV is being treated a bit better than before..it is treated more like a chronic condition. We need to get the stigma off the disease, but that will take a long time. People are still too judgmental, and that is sad. It is a disease not a sentence... God bless you.This site is what keeps my thoughts a bit more rational.  I hope it helps you also.

Offline richva

  • Member
  • Posts: 87
Re: Realizations are sometimes scary
« Reply #3 on: December 31, 2008, 05:11:31 PM »
...he even jokes about not having to pay his school loan back as he will be dead...

I don't know you or your son; his situation may be quite different than mine.  That said, I learned of my HIV+ status during my senior year of college.  That was 16 1/2 years ago.  Today, I'm doing very well... and all of my student loans have been paid in full (for quite some time now, actually.)

I wish your son many, many years in which to repay his student loans.  ;)

08/1989 Acquired
04/1992 Diagnosed
03/25/2008 (YUP - 16 years later!) CD4 336/21% VL 217,000; started meds
08/2012 - Alive, living! and doing just fine, TYVM (w/ props to my doc, insurance carrier and Complera. I remember every day that I'm a lucky boy.)

Offline HopeandCope

  • Member
  • Posts: 55
    • Hope and Cope
Re: Realizations are sometimes scary
« Reply #4 on: January 09, 2009, 07:01:28 PM »
Thanks for your posts everyone!  I appreciate it!  I have been going through a set back with my illness but all is good now.  For those that asked my son was infected a year ago so this is very new.  I think with my post here, I was expressing what many Moms and Dads may feel about their child's illness but my boy is strong and beautiful!!!

I saw him over Thanksgiving and he looked great!!!
Hope and Cope Support Site
A Safe Place for Families & Friends of HIV+ People

Offline dragonrainsd

  • Member
  • Posts: 6
Re: Realizations are sometimes scary
« Reply #5 on: January 14, 2010, 04:21:17 AM »
I wish you and your son the best! I know i am not really saying much but as a kid of a single mother. I know i would appriciate the courage you have for me as well. I am Negative and my partner is Poz, Haven't told my mom that but i am terrified to do so, but when the time is right i guess i will know.   :-\. Again i wish you and your son the best, he has a awesome loving mom!



Terms of Membership for these forums

© 2017 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.