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Author Topic: I just want to curl up......  (Read 1942 times)

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Offline CraigMKE

  • Member
  • Posts: 35
I just want to curl up......
« on: August 14, 2008, 10:26:25 AM »
Just got back from the ID Dr.  My recent labs show a 100 point drop in CD4's, down to 150.  Have not been this low in 6 years.

Have officially determined that my partner of 15 years is an alcoholic. 

When the people at work as me, "what's wrong", all I want to do is sit in the corner and cry....

Talk about a shitty day....

Offline LatinAlexander

  • Member
  • Posts: 599
  • Bogota, Colombia
Re: I just want to curl up......
« Reply #1 on: August 14, 2008, 10:31:22 AM »
Hi Craig:

Just wanted to ask if you have your Viral Load results yet?  How are those? I can tell you that CD4 play BAD jokes. Mine went to half on my last tests. but my VL was undetectable.

I am really sorry about your partners situation. Take a deep breath boy!!!. The weekend is coming, and you will have some time to release yourself and cry as loud as you want.

Poz since Jul 19 2006
Initial numbers : CD4-250 VL 3500
First labs after HAART (Dec 04-2006) : CD4-432 VL-<40 (Undetectable)  cd4%=25.11%
Started HAART: Combivir+Efavirenz Aug 26 7:38 pm
Feb 08 2007 - Gradually stopping HAART cause of Myalgia. Protecting Efavirenz. Stopped Efavirenz, ahead with Combivir....
February 17 Combivir stopped.
April 3 -07 : Started ddi+3tc+efavirenz...
Gay and positive (What a lack of Identity...:) )
Looking for my Ben....

Offline dixieman

  • Member
  • Posts: 889
Re: I just want to curl up......
« Reply #2 on: August 14, 2008, 11:43:29 AM »
Well I know its not easy... its easy to say keep a positive attitude but, sometimes I myself want to just hide in a corner and chill myself.  Alcoholism is very difficult situation... Wishing you the best... John

Offline Iggy

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,434
Re: I just want to curl up......
« Reply #3 on: August 14, 2008, 12:20:09 PM »
That's a lot to handle so I'm not surprised of your desire to just curl up and cry.

Forgive me for not knowing, but what is the situation with viral load, percentage and meds? 

As for as the partner - Only you can decide what to do on that front.  Just remember that you got to take care of yourself.

Offline Buckmark

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  • Would you like to tie me up with your ties, Ty?
    • Henry's Home Page
Re: I just want to curl up......
« Reply #4 on: August 14, 2008, 06:38:58 PM »

It's OK to curl up in the corner and cry (I do it all the time).  Then you'll need to plan what you are going to do next.  First things first -- you have to take care of yourself.  So you need to work with your doc, and either switch or start meds.

As for your partner, well, that's a tough situation.  My sister was an alcoholic.  It is tough to watch someone you love struggle with alcohol, and see it diminish or destroy their lives (and potentially yours in the process).  Yet there's only so much you can do to help him.  I'd highly recommend Al-Anon as a good resource and source of support.


"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things:
     One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell.
     The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love."
- Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

Offline BT65

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  • Member
  • Posts: 10,785
Re: I just want to curl up......
« Reply #5 on: August 15, 2008, 12:30:50 PM »

I have to agree with Henry about Al-Anon.  It helps thousands of people.  My 1st husband was an alcoholic and ended up dead at 29.  I couldn't continue seeing him kill himself, and also deal with the abuse and irresponsibility.  Of course, the decision is yours about which route to take.

I also must ask, what's your vl and %? 
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

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Offline rick21007

  • Member
  • Posts: 286
Re: I just want to curl up......
« Reply #6 on: August 17, 2008, 09:42:47 PM »
Craig-please keep us posted and take special care of that cute little guy inside of you that's hurting.  Life can be so fucking hard!!!



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