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Author Topic: My Nickname for HIV  (Read 11796 times)

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Offline wow1969

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My Nickname for HIV
« on: August 11, 2008, 02:39:42 PM »
Ok, according to my families lore we are a pretty irreverent bunch and usually turn most things into a joke. I finally had to come up with a way of describing and discussing HIV that did not sound so freaking gloomy. So here goes.

My body is a very high class, highly expensive and desireable condo.

HIV is a squatter that has broken in and staked a claim on one of the empty units. My squatter keeps breaking into other units and stealing the good stuff leaving a mess behind.

Unfortunately, squatters have rights so I can't evict him I can just make it hard for My Squatter to break into other units.

You know, the real estate laws really do protect squatters. I can't believe the jerks actually have rights. <G>

Anyway, when I talk about HIV to people, I refer to it as "My Squatter". I didn't want this tenant but I'm still stuck with it. But I'll be damned if that tenant is gonna run the building. I still am president of the Home Owners Association.

Hope ya'll get a chuckle out of this.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: My Nickname for HIV
« Reply #1 on: September 08, 2008, 08:37:25 AM »
I call my virus "Iris".



Offline komnaes

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Re: My Nickname for HIV
« Reply #2 on: September 08, 2008, 12:06:35 PM »
I never thought it needed a nickname.. but if I must name it I would call it Yunor..

Don't ask me why but I think this name fits perfectly when it comes to how those two "relate" to my life.. :D
Aug 07 Diagnosed
Oct 07 CD4=446(19%) Feb 08 CD4=421(19%)
Jun 08 CD4=325(22%) Jul 08 CD4=301(18%)
Sep 08 CD4=257/VL=75,000 Oct 08 CD4=347(16%)
Dec 08 CD4=270(16%)
Jan 09 CD4=246(13%)/VL=10,000
Feb 09 CD4=233(15%)/VL=13,000
Started meds Sustiva/Epzicom
May 09 CD4=333(24%)/VL=650
Aug 09 CD4=346(24%)/VL=UD
Nov 09 CD4=437(26%)/VL=UD
Feb 10 CD4=471(31%)/VL=UD
June 10 CD4=517 (28%)/VL=UD
Sept 10 CD4=687 (31%)/VL=UD
Jan 11 CD4=557 (30%)/VL=UD
April 11 CD4=569 (32%)/VL=UD
Switched to Epizcom, Reyataz and Norvir
(Interrupted for 2 months with only Epizcom & Reyataz)
July 11 CD=520 (28%)/VL=UD
Oct 11 CD=771 (31%)/VL=UD(<30)
April 12 CD=609 (28%)/VL=UD(<20)
Aug 12 CD=657 (29%)/VL=UD(<20)
Dec 12 CD=532 (31%)/VL=UD(<20)
May 13 CD=567 (31%)/VL=UD(<20)
Jan 14 CD=521 (21%)/VL=UD(<50)

Offline pozattitude

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Re: My Nickname for HIV
« Reply #3 on: September 08, 2008, 12:46:17 PM »
I just call it the "butt flu"

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Offline Jeff G

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Re: My Nickname for HIV
« Reply #4 on: September 08, 2008, 12:58:53 PM »
I call it Pandora
HIV 101 - Basics
HIV 101
You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
HIV Transmission and Risks
You can read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
You can read more about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
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Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: My Nickname for HIV
« Reply #5 on: September 08, 2008, 01:14:29 PM »
When I was first diagnosed I used to make continual jokes about HIV, much to the consternation of my close friends.  I'd do this publicly with my one other close friend who was diagnosed around the same time as me, and our favorite line was that we were members of the "Jackie 50 Club" which was our take on Jackie 60, but changed to "50" to indicate the point where our t-cells dipped to that level, flying hard on Jackie Flight 50, etc.  We'd also refer to our cd4 counts as "our little men" and reference this as they increased or decreased.  The more it made people uncomfortable the more we'd joke about it.

I never really gave it a name though, and the Jackie jokes burned out after a couple of years.
"I’ve slept with enough men to know that I’m not gay"

Offline Winiroo

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Re: My Nickname for HIV
« Reply #6 on: September 08, 2008, 01:19:12 PM »
The only time I nick named anything to do with HIV is when I had 3 tcells left I refered to them as Moe Larry and Curly.

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: My Nickname for HIV
« Reply #7 on: September 09, 2008, 09:25:33 AM »
I call it "The Lurgy".
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Winiroo

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Re: My Nickname for HIV
« Reply #8 on: September 09, 2008, 10:34:18 AM »
just like the cooties. You didn't get your Lurgy shot.

Offline GodSon83

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  • El hijo del capitán Trueno tenía pinta de raro
Re: My Nickname for HIV
« Reply #9 on: September 09, 2008, 11:13:50 AM »
I´ve never thought on it, but if i´ve to called it, a good name would be : "mike", but maybe could change of name ...LOL  ;D
Jun 08  - (-)
Jul 08   - (+)
Dic 08 - CD4:921
May 09- CD4: 1,025   CV: 8,233
Dic 09 - CD4:    911   CV: 5,160
May 10- CD4: 1,054  CV: 6,510
Sep 10- CD4:     923  CV: 1,832
Mar 11- CD4:     508  CV:  1,489
Jul   11- CD4:  1,064  CV:    558
Nov 11- CD4:  1,945  CV:    795
Abr  12- CD4:    859  CV:    401  ´Still no meds´

I like i feel! :)

Offline denb45

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Re: My Nickname for HIV
« Reply #10 on: September 09, 2008, 11:20:06 AM »
I call my virus "Iris".



I call my virus....BRUTIS....he's like an old Abusive BF that I can't seem to get rid of, I can keep him at bay, as long as I take care of my health and take my meds.........for now he's become VERY submissive...
I don't like him when he wants to be the TOP in very aggressive way  :-X  it's just NO FUN TO ME  ???
as long as he stays submissive, I'm a happy camper  ;D
« Last Edit: September 09, 2008, 11:36:13 AM by denb45 »
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline next2u

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Re: My Nickname for HIV
« Reply #11 on: September 09, 2008, 11:50:06 AM »
the gift that keeps on giving, but i picked that up from someone on here.
midapr07 - seroconversion
sept07 - tested poz
oct07 cd4 1013; vl 13,900; cd4% 41
feb08 cd4  694;  vl 16,160; cd4% 50.1
may08 cd4 546; vl 91,480; cd4% 32
aug08 cd4 576; vl 48,190; cd4% 40.7
dec08 cd4 559; vl 63,020; cd4% 29.4
feb09 cd4 464; vl 11,000; cd4% 26
may09 cd4 544; vl 29,710; cd4% 27.2
oct09 cd4 ...; vl 23,350; cd4% 31.6
mar10 cd4 408; vl 59,050; cd4% 31.4
aug10 cd4 328; vl 80,000; cd4% 19.3 STARTED ATRIPLA
oct10 cd4 423; vl 410 ;); cd4% 30.2
jun11 cd4 439; vl <20 ;); cd4% 33.8 <-Undetectable!
mar12 cd4 695; vl ud; cd4% 38.6
jan13 cd4 738; vl ud; cd4% 36.8
aug13 cd4 930; vl ud; cd4% 44.3
jan14 cd4 813; vl ud; cd4% 42.8
may14 cd4 783; vl *; cd4%43.5
sept14 cd4 990; vl ud; cd4% *
jun15 cd4 1152; vl ud; cd4% *
oct15 cd4 583; vl 146; cd4% 42
mar16 cd4 860

Offline hotpuppy

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Re: My Nickname for HIV
« Reply #12 on: September 09, 2008, 12:35:13 PM »
I have a few names....
I call it my Pet Crickets.... like locusts it moves in and consumes the place before leaving.
It's like a finicky pet, you can adopt it but you can't get rid of it, and if you don't keep them happy they will make you sorry.

I sometimes refer to it as House In Virginia and the associated jokes.  i.e. my place in virginia is a mess today.  Or the You can buy in Virginia, but you can't sell or leave.

Anyway, laughing at the virus is my revenge. I refuse to let it take the laughter from my life and the small joy that it gives me.  Just because I have HIV doesn't mean that I can't live a full life and enjoy it.
Don't obsess over the wrong things.  Life isn't about your numbers, it isn't about this forum, it isn't about someone's opinion.  It's about getting out there and enjoying it.   I am a person with HIV - not the other way around.

Offline wishihadacat

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Re: My Nickname for HIV
« Reply #13 on: September 17, 2008, 05:05:30 PM »
"The Gift"
Your name here  X_______________

Offline BT65

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Re: My Nickname for HIV
« Reply #14 on: September 17, 2008, 11:21:45 PM »
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

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Offline allopathicholistic

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Re: My Nickname for HIV
« Reply #15 on: September 18, 2008, 08:27:01 AM »

Offline Joe K

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Re: My Nickname for HIV
« Reply #16 on: September 21, 2008, 07:04:25 PM »
I have never named my disease but when I went down to two CD4s, I referred to them as Gizmo and Gadget. 

Also I must have missed it, but when did they announce a vaccine for "Cooties"?

Offline Winiroo

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Re: My Nickname for HIV
« Reply #17 on: September 22, 2008, 08:43:43 PM »
Cootie shots are available from any elementary school. Its administered by saying circle, circle. dot, dot. Now I've got my cootie shot. The words circle and dot are accompanied by the inoculator drawing the shape of two circles making dots in the middle of the circles on the recipient's hand or arm. Its usually drawn with a finger but some industrious children will use a pen or pencil also.
Cootie shots can also be self administered. Just change the words "you" and "your" with "I" and "my".

Cooties PSA

There is also the nifty line. Jinx! Pinch poke you owe me a coke. But that has nothing to do with cooties.


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