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Author Topic: Any opinion?  (Read 3071 times)

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Offline max_11

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Any opinion?
« on: July 28, 2008, 05:42:29 PM »
I read Welcome Thread and millions of web sites with Oral Sex and HIV transmitting and also had a several talk with medical HIV advisers...I do not know what else did I not done.

Same story...

Gay status - unknown. Me definitely HIV negative. Time when happened – two weeks ago.

1. I had pre cum - he suck me.
2. I suck him (1-2 min.) - he did not have pre-cum, nothing. (I am sure that he had not, otherwise I could fill it.)
3. I cum but on my paper and clean it (he didn't touch at all my cum) - he did not cum at all.
4. Definitely was no blood from booth sides, he had no sores, scars or what so ever in his, and I did not had any of my own.
5. I deeply hope that I had clean and healthy mouth (at the enjoy time) and he also (no scars, sores, blood, what so ever.....)

1 week after I get Stomatitis, white spots in my mouth and scars on my tongue and red sore throat with some same spots. My doctor gave me Antibiotics (Penicillin) and I intend to go to Urologist this week for STD checking.
No lymph on my neck, no flue status, no temperature, just a lot of stress, angst and "out of my mind".
I assume it is from the stress and panic and too much smoking (30-40 cigarettes per day).

I did it first time in my live. I am married with two kids.

Did I catch something? Could I get HIV if he was (?!) positive?
I talk to him, and he convinces me he is OK, although he did not know his status because he hasn't done any test at all.
I have to wait 6 weeks for the first test and 6 after for definitely results.
4 weeks more to go – I hope I will not go insane or explode.
Present status – madness.

Any comments – thanks.

I got my legs cutoff and hard stops to beat when I read about the gay who had HIV only from pre-cum in this forum.
Is it true, is it only and the only case or…what it is?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Any opinion?
« Reply #1 on: July 28, 2008, 05:53:17 PM »
Max, you are worrying needlessly. From what you have reported nothing you did put you at risk for HIV. Absolutely nothing.

No one has ever become infected from getting a blowjob. Not one man during the entire epidemic. As for any risk in giving a blowjob, we sometimes hear stories about someone saying that was their only risk and they became infected. Those stories never seem to hold up under careful scientific scrutiny.

There are ongoing longterm studies of sero-discordant couples, both gay and straight, who had lots of mutual unprotected oral and only protected vaginal and anal intercourse. Not one sero-negative partner has become infected.

Of course good sense dictates that if you have a big new sore in your mouth that you shouldn't have someone cum in your mouth. But otherwise the risk seems more theoretical than real. You have to decide what you feel safe doing.

This time I don't see any cause for worry about HIV and no need for you to get tested.

Very often men who are married or new to sex with men get super-worried about things even though they didn't have any real risk for HIV. I think that's what you are experiencing. This is NOT an HIV situation.

Andy Velez

Offline max_11

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Re: Any opinion?
« Reply #2 on: July 28, 2008, 06:21:25 PM »
Thanks Andy.....
Many told me I do not need to worry...even my wife.I told her all.

No it is not big sore in the mouth, but small white dots inside my mouth in upper lip, few of them...My tongue is red but maybe from a sub reaction of Penicillin, I hope.
No one cum in my mouth - never.
As I said....it was my first time in my live being with a man. It is truth.
I just had sticker all my live (from many other macho mans)  that I am acting like a homo. That I am homo...long story.
I wanted to see my reaction, would I feel something, will I have pleasure and will I enjoy, to see if I am homo as they have been telling me 38 years ..... so I did it finally before two weeks.
First time in my live out of my marriage (15 years), with a man....
So...it is damn hard.
I learn my lesson and found out my self.
I just do not belong there.
So it is irrelevant to me NOW, who or what will say to me,  what they will think for me,  in which group they will place me..I simply do not care anymore.
I know what I AM!

I'll do the test, and will inform. Maybe someone reading my story can find him self and find a comfort in his bad time. I hope.


I read many things of this Forum, many sad stories....and I can not stop crying.
I am so so so so sorry what is going with this HIV shit..I am so sorry for all who have ...I am really, really, really sorry.
This HIV has no meaning...just I can not understand.
Goad, I swear I will give my booth hands and legs if someone need just to make end of this shit.
There are so many sad stories and I do feel hopless.
And it hurts me...I am really sorry .

Why they do not find the cure once for all. They have been in moon, they have move countries, they have invent new worlds, they have change the face of the earth....why they do not find something which will stop this madness.

I am sorry..I am too much depressive, I feel hopeless and I just do not know what to do.

Thanks again Andy...
« Last Edit: July 28, 2008, 06:41:33 PM by max_11 »

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Any opinion?
« Reply #3 on: July 28, 2008, 09:10:08 PM »
I'll just say once more that you are worrying needlessly about HIV. Go ahead and test if you must for your peace of mind. For sure you are going to test negative. Hopefully that will put an end to all of this unnecessary upset you're subjecting yourself to.

This is NOT an HIV situation no matter what your fears tell you otherwise.

As for whether you liked it or not or your sexuality in general, that's a whole different subject. And if you need help with sorting such matters out go see a professional to get help with that. We cannot help you with that here. Sounds to me like you experimented with something you have been wanting to do. Maybe I am missing something but what's the big deal? Really.
Andy Velez

Offline max_11

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Re: Any opinion?
« Reply #4 on: July 29, 2008, 06:58:06 AM »
I just came from Urolog about SDT's checking.
He check me all and told me that I do not have any STD. Otherwise it would be shown 2 weeks after (as I am having now).
So, no STD's.
He also told me that I can check (if I want) after 1 month.
Sure I will do it.
Also I will do the HIV test after 4 weeks (making 6 full weeks) and 6 weeks after (12 weeks).
I will inform about it.

About the deal...I just wanted to find my answers. I just needed to find the answer after all this 38 years and to be sure deep in me.

And...as soon as I will stand up on my feet, I will go and ask for membership in AIDS Help organization (in Germany) and give all help I can.
That' for sure.

Thanks Andy.

Offline max_11

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Re: Any opinion?
« Reply #5 on: July 31, 2008, 06:28:07 PM »
I know you told me not to worry and there was nothing but....
I visit shortly the doctor again today (because I am totally mess from fear) and ask him if I do need to do any blood test for STD at all.
By the first visit he check me (penis, balls, echo check and so on...) and told me that I do not have anything, otherwise it could be shown.
Now (today) he told me that I should do HIV and Syphilis test (but I told him the true story from A till Z).
Sorry if I am asking to much or repeat my self....but I am confused about the following...

1. How long Syphilis need to be shown (where ever it shows in body) or it only can be found in blood? So, I need test ???
2. If the person was HIV+ and I got Syphilis (or any other STD) from him, does it mean that I can be also HIV infected?
« Last Edit: July 31, 2008, 06:32:25 PM by max_11 »

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Any opinion?
« Reply #6 on: July 31, 2008, 06:37:17 PM »
We are not a syphilis site, we are an HIV site. Nevertheless I can tell you that the window period for syphilis test is 3 months and yes, that test is a blood test.

I don't see why your doctor is ordering syphilis or HIV tests but that's a matter between you and him. You were not at risk so such testing is unnecessary.


Offline max_11

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Re: Any opinion?
« Reply #7 on: July 31, 2008, 07:00:56 PM »
And what about the second question?

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Any opinion?
« Reply #8 on: July 31, 2008, 07:21:47 PM »
What about the second question? I've already answered the second question:

You were not at risk so such testing is unnecessary.

Even if the person was HIV+, it makes no difference. You were not at risk.


Offline Ann

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Re: Any opinion?
« Reply #9 on: August 02, 2008, 08:43:03 AM »

I removed the post you made in another forum. You should NOT be posting in the forums meant for hiv positive people.

Please READ and ABIDE by our posting guidelines, found in the Welcome Thread.

Please consider yourself warned.

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Offline max_11

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Re: Any opinion?
« Reply #10 on: August 02, 2008, 04:23:00 PM »
I thought that people can chat among and share if they want and what they want.

Maybe I am not, maybe I am gay, hiv positive, to smart for someone or I do not know what....
I finish hier with hope that I CAN TALK WITH PEOPLE.
Sorry I have finish in GENERAL POLICE HOSPITAL.

I am out of hier.

Never the less...many, many deep thanks for all answers I have got about my problem.
I mean that honestly.


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