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Author Topic: 'Putting Your Affairs In Order' (Jan)  (Read 1666 times)

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Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,288
'Putting Your Affairs In Order' (Jan)
« on: July 22, 2008, 07:38:28 PM »
A woman went to her doctor. The doctor, after an examination, sighed and
said, 'I've some bad news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your
affairs in order.' The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself
and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting.
'Well daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we
celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't
well. I have cancer. Let's head to the club and have a martini.' After 3
or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber. There were
some laughs and more martinis.

They were eventually approached by some of the woman's old friends, who
were curious as to what the two were celebrating.

The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending end.
'I've been diagnosed with AIDS.' The friends were aghast and gave the
woman their condolences. After the friends left, the woman's daughter
leaned over and whispered, 'Momma, I thought you said you were dying of
cancer, and you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS.' The
woman said, 'I don't want any of those bitches sleeping with your father
after I'm gone.'

That's 'Putting Your Affairs In Order'

Offline weasel

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,873
Re: 'Putting Your Affairs In Order' (Jan)
« Reply #1 on: July 22, 2008, 07:47:44 PM »

" Live and let Live "

Offline Basquo

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  • Posts: 3,383
Re: 'Putting Your Affairs In Order' (Jan)
« Reply #2 on: July 22, 2008, 10:10:29 PM »
OMG Rodney!!!!!! that is CLASSIC! It's got to be a classic, because I can't believe I haven't heard it before but it's too clever to be new! While some might not find it funny, this is exactly the kind of joke that I would tell my mother.  And I will, weekend after next when I visit her.

Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,517
  • 32 years positive, 60 years a pain in the butt
Re: 'Putting Your Affairs In Order' (Jan)
« Reply #3 on: July 22, 2008, 11:14:58 PM »
Oh Roddles,

That was indeed a classic - or should be!

Loved it!


"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline Robert

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,658
Re: 'Putting Your Affairs In Order' (Jan)
« Reply #4 on: July 23, 2008, 12:51:45 AM »
 you hit it, rodney.


Offline minismom

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,649
  • Quocumque jeceris stabit
Re: 'Putting Your Affairs In Order' (Jan)
« Reply #5 on: July 23, 2008, 06:42:55 AM »
That was really funny!  Thanks for sharing.

"Whichever way you throw me, i will stand"
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today...it's already tomorrow in Australia"  Charles Schultz

Offline BT65

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 10,785
Re: 'Putting Your Affairs In Order' (Jan)
« Reply #6 on: July 23, 2008, 08:02:35 AM »
Good one Rodney! :D
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

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