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Author Topic: Any Advise Or Help On This Subject Please  (Read 4914 times)

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Offline MrConcerned

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  • Posts: 4
Any Advise Or Help On This Subject Please
« on: July 07, 2008, 08:25:58 pm »
Hello everyone
I am extremely new here and was given this web site from my current boyfriend. My situation here is this. My boyfriend is positive and I am negative. Like I said before I am very new not to HIV or Aids persay but to having a postive boyfriend. I have read many and many of your posts and questions and know that in general its usually a safe bet that I have no worries as long as I am safe and forever use protection. But, Is there any others out there that are in the same situation as I am? I do love and care about him alot but we are both very new to one being and the other not. Can these type of relationships last with the added stress or worries? Am I being maybe a bit to paranoid? Is there any social groups or other websites for any type of help or support? Anything would help me out greatly. Thanks again.

Offline vasky

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Re: Any Advise Or Help On This Subject Please
« Reply #1 on: July 07, 2008, 08:46:31 pm »
Hi MrConcerned:
Being quite new with a zero discordant relationship myself, what I can share with you is that you need communicate and communicate with your BF as much as possible. What has worked for me and my boyfriend (he is pos) has been to talk and share all my doubts and fears. I have gone to the doctor with him and that helped me understand a lot more what being HIV+ is about and this site has helped me enormously. So my suggestion is ask and keep asking questions, keep your boyfriend in the loop with all your doubts, use this site there are many wonderful people here willing to help you and your boyfriend. As to the added stress....I think that will be tuned down by the communication you have.
Take care,

Offline MrConcerned

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  • Posts: 4
Re: Any Advise Or Help On This Subject Please
« Reply #2 on: July 08, 2008, 07:12:24 pm »
Thank You Patty for responding to me. Yes, I have been doing just that. Asking many questions and haring many of my fears and doubts. He too has never had a boyfriend or even dated anyone before who is negative as he has only been postive a few years. He too is actually just as scared as I am. This is indeed very important I agree. I have read quite a bit here on this site and keep hoping for much more needed advise. Thanks again and also the very best of luck to you and yours.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Any Advise Or Help On This Subject Please
« Reply #3 on: July 11, 2008, 08:53:30 am »

I'm glad you found your way to our site.

One of the issues that's right up there as a matter of concern is safety in terms of sex. I can tell you a little about longterm studies of sero-discordant couples, both gay and straight. They had/have lots of unprotected mutual oral and only protected vaginal/anal intercourse. The results have been that not a single sero-negative partner has become infected.

We do hear from time to time about someone who insists they became infected through giving oral to a guy. These stories never seem to hold up under scientific scrutiny. Certainly it makes sense for anyone who has poor oral care or has just had oral surgery to be careful about giving oral. So this is an issue where you have to use your common sense and also be honest about your own comfort zone.

Talking openly with each other about your concerns in general is a good way to maintain and deepen intimacy in your relationship.

Keep us posted on how things are going. You're always welcome to talk here about whatever is on your mind and to ask questions.

Andy Velez


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