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Author Topic: Why do I bother?  (Read 2981 times)

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Offline PeteNYNJ

  • Member
  • Posts: 979
  • When life gives you AIDS...make LemonAIDS!
    • Dance for Me, Puppets
Why do I bother?
« on: July 07, 2008, 07:49:54 PM »
It just seems people will do what they want to do.   Why do I feel compelled to try to inform?  I guess I shouldnt think people on sex sites are going to listen, in most part they are rude and seem hell bent of destruction.  Case in point, my chat with this fool:

 PETESNJ75 [7:39 P.M.]:  pete from manhunt
 thesolipsist81 [7:40 P.M.]:  hi
 PETESNJ75 [7:40 P.M.]:  whats up 
 thesolipsist81 [7:40 P.M.]:  beefbtm, right?
 PETESNJ75 [7:40 P.M.]:  tis me    you want to play raw even though I am positive?
 PETESNJ75 [7:41 P.M.]:  not judging   just asking
 thesolipsist81 [7:41 P.M.]:  i don't care, love it nasty and dangerous
 PETESNJ75 [7:42 P.M.]:  really?   why?
 thesolipsist81 [7:44 P.M.]:  i play around raw alot
 thesolipsist81 [7:44 P.M.]:  it feels better
 PETESNJ75 [7:46 P.M.]:  I am sure it does, but is it worth having this shit happen to you?   believe me it is not.  It fucking sucks.
 thesolipsist81 [7:46 P.M.]:  ok, happy hunting

Sorry   just venting I guess.   

Offline Oceanbeach

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,565
Re: Why do I bother?
« Reply #1 on: July 07, 2008, 09:18:15 PM »
Hey Pete,

I met Walter on one of the dating sites, that was 5 months ago and I love him  ;D   There were other men on other sites whom, I have dated and found them to be a close second to a good book or a warm bath, nothing worth writing home about.

When you go into search, they always display a little over 200 profiles.  If you block 10 and search again, they will throw in another 20 profiles.  That is the game with the sites "OVER 3 MILLION MEN WAITING TO MEET YOU!!!" some banner ad even if I do say so myself.

I have also done the math and we know from the Kaiser Daily Report and the other organizations such as APLA and SFAF that 60% of all Gay men living in metrpolitan areas have HIV, wheather they know it or not.  You can take any search group and find 90% say they are HIV -.  They are never the age they say they are, the weight is wrong and the pictures are always old. 

On any of the dating sites, you can see a man gain twenty years in age, twenty pounds in weight, in twenty minutes.  Of the men between the ages of 45 and 59, I blocked over 600 profiles just to get them out of the way.  I chose 5 and one of them is a member of these forums, we have met and he lives in another state.  I sent each an invitation to have lunch in a 33 ft sloop on San Francisco Bay.

I met this guy once who looked so much like my fater did at his age, I sent his picture to family, they all agreed but I couldn't date a man who was the dead ringer for my dead dad.  ;D  Have the best day
« Last Edit: July 07, 2008, 09:37:01 PM by Sonomabeach »

Offline aztecan

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  • Posts: 5,517
  • 32 years positive, 60 years a pain in the butt
Re: Why do I bother?
« Reply #2 on: July 07, 2008, 11:26:00 PM »
OK, I admit it. My avatar pic here is two years old.

I guess I will have to have Jan take another one in Mexico City.

Hey Pete, Don't let it get you down. I don't know how anyone, except a lucky few like Michael, could date via the Internet. I just don't trust it, but then again, I come from a time before it existed and we actually had to meet each other face to face, or some reasonable facsimile thereof.

I have found preaching to fools is sometimes a thankless job so don't be surprised when those you reach out to turn and run. The only thing on their minds is having a quick good time, not what it could do to the rest of their lives.

At least you have the satisfaction of knowing you did the right thing.


« Last Edit: July 07, 2008, 11:28:36 PM by aztecan »
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline GSOgymrat

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,122
  • HIV+ since 1993. Relentlessly gay.
Re: Why do I bother?
« Reply #3 on: July 08, 2008, 08:14:44 AM »
OK, I admit it. My avatar pic here is two years old.

I confess my avatar pic is a couple of years old too.

Back to topic, maybe this guy was all online fantasy fun and would not follow through in real life. I would like to think that.

Offline woodshere

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  • Posts: 1,477
  • ain't no shame in my game
Re: Why do I bother?
« Reply #4 on: July 08, 2008, 08:28:48 AM »
So what are the odds that if he plays "around raw alot" that he is actually negative??????  And Ford points out one possibility.  In the end we can only be responsible for our own actions.

"Let us give pubicity to HV/AIDS and not hide it..." "One of the things destroying people with AIDS is the stigma we attach to it."   Nelson Mandela

Offline MarcoPoz

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  • Posts: 397
Re: Why do I bother?
« Reply #5 on: July 08, 2008, 10:15:52 AM »

Hey, good for you for having integrity and letting him know.  Cool for you to confronting him on it too.

Offline Iggy

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,434
Re: Why do I bother?
« Reply #6 on: July 08, 2008, 02:38:42 PM »
Hey Pete,

This may be just a hunch but I think your last line may have turned him off - not turned him off about you, or turned him off about poz, but about what the further conversation or hook-up might be like.

I give you credit for being upfront about your status and not shying away from making sure any partner who claims to be neg and wants to bb knows the deal, but I'm guessing he was just looking for bb and didn't want to know anything else.

As Mark said, just know you did the right thing for yourself.

Offline PeteNYNJ

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  • When life gives you AIDS...make LemonAIDS!
    • Dance for Me, Puppets
Re: Why do I bother?
« Reply #7 on: July 08, 2008, 04:18:10 PM »
He IM'd me a couple more times asking to come over.  I just ignored him.  I wasnt looking for that anyway - just wanted to look at some pictures of guys and killing some time. 

I chatted with him because he came on so strong about wanting to BB.  I was curious as to why he would want to endanger himself.  I guess some people just dont care or dont  think about it. 

Offline ozzie

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  • Posts: 57
Re: Why do I bother?
« Reply #8 on: July 08, 2008, 05:59:57 PM »
Some people fear the unknown and others love it...  ??? I've seen a few of those ppl on chats and places like a4a etc... some even wanting to get it (the bug chasers) lol weird world!

Offline Miss Philicia

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  • Posts: 24,793
  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Re: Why do I bother?
« Reply #9 on: July 08, 2008, 08:03:21 PM »
Sounds like a job for bugshare.net!
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline AlanBama

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  • Posts: 3,670
  • Alabama: the 'other' 3rd World Country!
Re: Why do I bother?
« Reply #10 on: July 08, 2008, 08:22:56 PM »
No one understands those types, Pete....I'm sure they don't even understand themselves (or else we wouldn't have so many new folk signing up here day after day).

I admire you for confronting him about it.


"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz


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