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Author Topic: So worried  (Read 4055 times)

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Offline crazy

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So worried
« on: July 24, 2006, 06:32:27 AM »
I have been doing a lot of worrying about this over the past few days so hope someone can offer some guidance. I am thinking of having a test, but not sure at the moment what I would do if positive.

Approx 15 years ago I had a brief affair, while married, with someone from South America who was working in UK, and we did have unprotected sex. Affair lasted only few weeks. It's so long ago I can't remember if I had any symptoms or not, and I didn't have the facility to search the Internet for information like now.

Previous to this I'd had a hysterectomy, but sex with my husband became painful so we just stopped and we have gone on like this for all these years, but that's another story.

Over the years I've been fairly healthy (I do suffer from migraine on occasion - always have done) but over the past 8-10 years I've had various health symptoms that have been connected with other ailments, such as rashes (put down to change of toiletries), which clear eventually with cortisone, difficulty sleeping, palpitations (not sure what caused this but found it could be symptom of menopause - I'm mid-late 40s), hot flushes (not sweating - just burning hot and red in face - again could be menopause).

Recently I had a very stressful incident when I discovered that my husband may have been about to start an affair with someone (lots of texts back and forth), which I challenged and it has all finished before it really started. I have been very upset since discovering this, and started having intermittent diarrhoea (which upset me even more - and thinking that I had developed IBS as the symptoms were classic), then a rash on the right side of my body at the waist which is spreading along my lower abdomen region (I had a small area of this rash some time ago but it stopped itching although the redness was still there), not sleeping well, etc. Of course I also have guilt feelings because my affair did start and I had no right to be upset if his affair did go ahead.

Due to the diarrhoea, I went to the doctor a few weeks ago, who took some blood which was fine except for slightly raised cholesterol. I expect that, even though the test was not for HIV, there would have been some other indications in the blood count if I was HIV-positive, wouldn't it?? I am still having the diarrhoea - about 8 weeks now! I have also noticed a couple of spots on my chest (but I have always had a greasy skin and suffered from acne years ago), and I have noticed a couple of freckles above my eyebrow and on my cheek which appear to have either enlarged or appeared, as I hadn't noticed them before (but it has been rather sunny - although I have had sun protection on).

I know a little knowledge can be a dangerous thing and reading the various websites has worried me even more!!

This in itself would not really have caused me to panic too much, but in the past 8 - 10 weeks, as we have been getting our relationship back together, we have resumed our sex life (still with a bit of difficulty and pain) and now my husband appears to be getting some early symptoms -all coming in the past week or so. First he had a sore throat (but he does tend to get a few as he's asthmatic and has had pneumonia), then a cold sore on his nose (again he gets these now and again), then shoulder joint and muscle pain in upper arm (he thought he'd pulled a muscle doing something), he woke the other day with a headache (which he doesn't suffer from normally, but had had a pint and a half of beer the night before, although this amount wouldn't normally cause a problem), then he had a loose bowel movement yesterday (again something which he does get now and again), and this morning he seems to be developing more of a cold and said he felt exhausted (we have just had a weekend away camping and it was pretty hot and tiring - and this was only a week after returning from two weeks camping and lots of driving about).

I know diagnosis cannot be made from symptoms and I may be worrying unneccessarily, but I really want to get this out of my system. I am thinking of getting tested, but very scared of it being a positive outcome. Apologies for the long post.
« Last Edit: July 27, 2006, 05:50:49 AM by crazy »

Offline Ann

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Re: So worried
« Reply #1 on: July 24, 2006, 06:44:04 AM »

Nothing you have reported sounds remotely indicative of hiv infection for either you or your husband. And no, if you were hiv positive, it wouldn't show in general blood test results.

The ONLY way to know your hiv status is through taking an hiv antibody test. You can go to your local GUM clinic now and test for a conclusive result. I would suggest you do this, not because I expect a positive result because I don't, but so you can put this notion of hiv infection to rest.

Test and know for certain. Hiv is nothing to guess about.

Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Morgan

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Re: So worried
« Reply #2 on: July 24, 2006, 06:49:06 AM »

At the risk of being predictable, I suggest that you get tested for all STI's including hiv.  Not because I think you're infected, more so because if you're having health issues, is would be nice to easily eliminate these potential problems as causes of your ailments.  

After this length of time, any result you get will be conclusive and you can move on to explore other causes of your infirmaties.

Morgan Landers

Offline crazy

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Re: So worried
« Reply #3 on: July 24, 2006, 06:55:14 AM »
Thanks Ann for your words of reassurance.

It's just that the vague symptoms we have experienced have been mentioned on other hiv resources that I have read in the past few days, in particular all those that my husband has recently developed - 4 out of the initial phase symptoms as per the following site:

Not sure about the fever or lymph nodes and he's mentioned no rash.

As you can see, I have indicated that I'm aware they could all be other things, but I do tend to worry!! I will look into getting a test otherwise I will kill myself with this stress, which I could do without at the moment, with the recent relationship matters and this diarrhoea.

Offline crazy

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Re: So worried
« Reply #4 on: July 24, 2006, 06:59:32 AM »
Thanks for your input Morgan.

I wouldn't say that my health issues are a real major problem - just vague things that keep popping up now and again - and a sign of getting older! Like the memory loss/forgetfulness thing, which I forgot to mention!!!

I will try and pluck up the courage for a test.

Offline Morgan

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Re: So worried
« Reply #5 on: July 24, 2006, 07:04:24 AM »

Symptoms mean nothing when it comes to hiv infection.  You can have some, none, or all of the symptoms normally associated with hiv and be hiv positive or negative.  The only way to determine your hiv status, is through testing at the appropriate time.

We totally understand your concern with your symptoms, but there are too many plausible explanations for what you're experiencing.

Get that test and let us know what you find out.

Morgan   ;)
Morgan Landers

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: So worried
« Reply #6 on: July 24, 2006, 08:36:34 AM »
You have been lugging around your concerns about HIV for way, way too long. Nothing you have described in the way of symptoms suggests HIV to me, but then neither the presence nor the absence of symptoms will ever tell you anything accurately about your HIV status.

The only certain way to know your status is to get tested and you can do that anytime now. I do expect you will test negative.

So get the test done and remove that obstacle from getting on with having a better life with your husband.

Andy Velez

Offline crazy

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Re: So worried
« Reply #7 on: July 26, 2006, 09:57:59 AM »
Thank you Andy and everyone for the words of encouragement. My mind is a little easier now. I haven't really been thinking about this for all these years - it's only come back into my consciousness this past couple of months since the 'almost-affair' and my diarrhoea coming on and then my husband's symptoms.

I have located some local testing centres and will investigate further and let you know the outcome - once I've plucked up the courage.


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