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Author Topic: Just tested poz  (Read 6089 times)

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Offline mcmillian

  • New Member
  • Posts: 2
Just tested poz
« on: June 12, 2008, 01:51:12 PM »
I just found out recently that I am HIV positive. I live in a really rural community where everyone is all in everyone else's business. I am a little nervous right now and I found this forum while looking online for resources as there is not really anything here. How did other people deal with finding out? Disclosing?
« Last Edit: June 13, 2008, 04:49:24 PM by mcmillian »

Offline WillyWump

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,367
Re: Just tested poz
« Reply #1 on: June 12, 2008, 04:22:38 PM »
Well first of all you are not alone, you have everyone here. Im a newbie also and only a few months into my poz diagnosis and have found a wealth of information here, and great people to listen to anything you want to get off your chest.

As far as dealing with it, for me it was and still is somewhat of a roller coaster ride, but I've learned that I'm NOT going to die within a year and I can pretty much lead a normal life, I just need to be aware and take care of myself. There is alot more life to live for all of us!

As far as disclosure, you dont need to jump into disclosing to anybody until your are comfortable and ready. I've disclosed to my aunt and my mother and they have been so supportive but I knew they would be. I havent disclosed to any of my friends because I'm not ready for that yet, when it comes it will come.

Just take some time, relax, continue your search for resources and information, etc... but again some of the best support Ive received is from the information on this site and from the people here.

I'm sure some of the veterens in here can give you much better insight and advice, they should be along in just a bit :)

POZ since '08

Last Labs-
11-6-14 CD4- 871, UD
6/3/14 CD4- 736, UD 34%
6/25/13 CD4- 1036, UD,
2/4/13, CD4 - 489, UD, 28%

Current Meds: Prezista/Epzicom/ Norvir

Offline Assurbanipal

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  • Posts: 2,175
  • Taking a forums break, still see PM's
Re: Just tested poz
« Reply #2 on: June 12, 2008, 04:26:51 PM »
Hi Mcmilliam

Welcome to the forums.  There's been a lot of discussion on here about disclosure and people's different comfort level with it.  If you type "disclosure" in the search box on the left hand side of the page (scroll down a bit to find it)  you'll get a LOT of info.

There's also information in the lessons on this site.


They are kinda at the end of the lessons, so you might want to read through some of the introductory stuff too:


Its a lot to get your head around.  But we are here and hope to hear more from you

Stay strong

5/06 VL 1M+, CD4 22, 5% , pneumonia, thrush -- O2 support 2 months, 6/06 +Kaletra/Truvada
9/06 VL 3959 CD4 297 13.5% 12/06 VL <400 CD4 350 15.2% +Pravachol
2007 VL<400, 70, 50 CD4 408-729 16.0% -19.7%
2008 VL UD CD4 468 - 538 16.7% - 24.6% Osteoporosis 11/08 doubled Pravachol, +Calcium/D
02/09 VL 100 CD4 616 23.7% 03/09 VL 130 5/09 VL 100 CD4 540 28.4% +Actonel (osteoporosis) 7/09 VL 130
8/09  new regimen Isentress/Epzicom 9/09 VL UD CD4 621 32.7% 11/09 VL UD CD4 607 26.4% swap Isentress for Prezista/Norvir 12/09 (liver and muscle issues) VL 50
2010 VL UD CD4 573-680 26.1% - 30.9% 12/10 VL 20
2011 VL UD-20 CD4 568-673 24.7%-30.6%
2012 VL UD swap Prezista/Norvir for Reyataz drop statin CD4 768-828 26.7%-30.7%
2014 VL UD - 48
2015 VL 130 Moved to Triumeq

Offline MarkB

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  • Posts: 292
Re: Just tested poz
« Reply #3 on: June 12, 2008, 05:33:02 PM »
I just found out recently that I am HIV positive. I live in a really rural community where everyone is all in everyone else's business. I am a little nervous right now and I found this forum while looking online for resources as there is not really anything here. How did other people deal with finding out? Disclosing?

Hi mcmillan and welcome to the forums - as Assurbanipal said, you will find plenty of resources and support available to you here. Take time and follow some of the threads - you'll find as I did that questions which newly diagnosed people have are often covered in great detail. Also the lessons section is particularly useful.

I too live in a very rural area where there is nothing for HIV+ people, and in such an environment you are probably right to be nervous about disclosure. You might wish to think carefully about keeping your status strictly to yourself for the time being, and seeking supportive contact away from where you live.


Also, keep coming back here!


A x
« Last Edit: June 12, 2008, 05:40:57 PM by aelwyd »

Offline PozitivelySouthern

  • Member
  • Posts: 32
Re: Just tested poz
« Reply #4 on: June 12, 2008, 09:06:17 PM »
Hi McMillian -

Sorry about your diagnosis. I too found out that I am HIV+ only 2 weeks ago.

Given your rural isolation, I am sure that you will find the people that post in this forum are a treasure. You can come here any time of any day and find comforting. Just the act of typing out your thoughts, worries, hopes and concerns will make you feel a little less lonely.

I agree with Aelwyd. I grew up in a rural community myself and I know about small town gossip and narrow-minded people. It is probably best that you keep it to yourself for now. But, just know that we are here for you. Stay strong and keep in touch.
05/28/08 Diagnosed
08/04/08 CD4 268 (24.4%) VL 3,310
09/08/08 CD4 316 (22.6%) VL 2,400
09/09/08 Started Atripla
10/31/08 CD4 389 (27.8%) VL Undetectable - Yay!
01/29/09 CD4 406 VL Undetectable
04/30/09 CD4 513 (27%) VL Undetectable.
10/27/09 CD4 560 (28%) VL Undetectable.
03/09/10 CD4 536 (33.5%) VL 96
12/02/10 CD4 514 (32.1%) VL Undetectable.
06/16/11 CD4 446 (29.7%) VL <20
11/11/11 CD4 608 (30.4%) VL 170


  • Member
  • Posts: 281
Re: Just tested poz
« Reply #5 on: June 13, 2008, 07:50:24 AM »
when i first was dianoised i was in the hospital being treated for head shingles,my sister was with me and she later informed the rest of the family.she thought was better that we never tell my mom or dad and at the time i agreed with her.my mom was ill at the time and later died 2 yrs after that.as for my friends ,i never told them but i did watch them all slowly die from aids which in itself was more  tragic for me than being hiv+.my family NEVER  talks about my condition and i guess i can understand that but i still find myself very alone sometimes.i think that the loneliness is the biggest killer .i teach weight lifting at a local college so most of my friends are under 24 yrs and believe me if they knew that i was hiv+ i honestly think that they would expel me from the college and my gym buds would literally disown me.I KNOW IT'S SAD that this is the way the world looks at hiv bu this is the way it is!! and we have to be very careful  if we choose to disclose or not to disclose

Offline BT65

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 10,785
Re: Just tested poz
« Reply #6 on: June 13, 2008, 08:26:07 AM »
Hi McMillian, welcome to the forums.  I'm glad you found us.

I found out in 1989 while I was in treatment for addiction.  There were people all around me when I found out; but, I still felt alone.  I remember being in total shock and disbelief.  It took awhile to wrap my head around being diagnosed, though I can't remember the specific time period.  Unlike many, I immediately told my mum, and then a little while later, the rest of my immediate family.  I just couldn't keep it to myself.  My family was supportive.  Of course, when I was diagnosed, just being diagnosed was a death sentence.  So, I expected to die, and almost did a couple times.  I remember getting "things in order," i.e. getting a power-of-attorney, health care representative, will, shortly after finding out.  We were advised to do that back then.  And I went to many, many funerals.

The good news is that things are improved from what they were (treatments, support).  I would strongly encourage you to contact your local Aids Service Organization for support, to find a good doctor, and therapist if need be.  Someone there can also walk you through any government paperwork should you need benefits in the future.  You may need to travel a bit, but the support at a good ASO is invaluable.  We're always here.  I've found these forums to be like gold. 

Just give yourself some time.  News like this is shocking and can be unsettling.  That's normal to feel.  And anything else you may be feeling is normal.  Just don't let yourself get too desperate.  Take some deep breaths.  Hope to hear more from you.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Condom and Lube Info http://www.aidsmap.com/Condoms/page/1044833/
Please check out our lessons on PEP and PrEP. http://www.poz.com/factsheets/fs_2014_09_prep.pdf


Offline mcmillian

  • New Member
  • Posts: 2
Re: Just tested poz
« Reply #7 on: June 14, 2008, 01:16:31 PM »
Thank you for your responses. It broke down some of the sense of isolation. I also appreciated the links. I am glad I found this forum.

Offline Prestige

  • Member
  • Posts: 8
Re: Just tested poz
« Reply #8 on: June 15, 2008, 07:51:58 AM »
I found out 6 months ago, in the begging was hell
it gets better
try to find answers to all the questions you have and they will be many
if you are afraid, I was too
if you feel you did this to yourself, I felt that way too
if you think your life would never be the same again, me too
now six months after I can even try to help others
take care

Offline OutOfDarkness

  • Member
  • Posts: 90
Re: Just tested poz
« Reply #9 on: June 26, 2008, 01:21:12 PM »
Hi mcmillian,
You have found a great place for support and information.  Wish I knew about this forum sooner, you are lucky to have this resource of information as well.  I usually read the articles on the home page of poz that interest me or that I may find helpful in answering some technical questions about the disease.  It can explain it in pretty simple terms and this was extremely helpful, as just reading some other websites and about HIV would have my head spinning and not really getting a good grip on understanding this disease and how the different types of meds work and why we have to take more than one medication. 

Because there is a stigma attached with HIV, even in my own mind that I have had to work on changing and learning, it is not easy to figure out who to disclose to.  I find that if I am not absolutely sure I can trust, then I don't tell.  This may or may not work for you, everyone is different.  But you can find lots of support, information and help here all of the tiime. :)
2000 - seroconverted
2005 - cd4 350, VL 113,000
3/06 - started sustiva/truvada
3/08 - cd4 1,300 VL >50(undet.)


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