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Author Topic: Jonathan's (jkinatl2) POZ Mag page  (Read 5770 times)

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Offline Peter Staley

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  • Posts: 1,338
  • Founder & Advisory Editor, AIDSmeds.com
    • AIDSmeds.com
Jonathan's (jkinatl2) POZ Mag page
« on: July 22, 2006, 08:27:51 AM »

For those of you who don't get POZ, the August issue's last page was written by Jonathan, and is well worth seeing & reading.  I've attached a picture of it to this post.

If you can't read the text, I've cut & pasted it here:

Escape Artist

I stare at the blood as it leaves my arm and crawls into the vacuum tube. Itís a dark burgundy. Itís the stuff of life. Itís the stuff of legend. Itís food for vampires. Itís death, infused with a virus. It is who I am, and yet I part with it every month.

I think about the people I have outlived. And I often wonder why Iíve outlived them. My decision to stop meds a year ago was, to my friends, the equivalent of dropping out of college. They respected my decision but thought I was an idiot who, they hoped, would reverse course sooner rather than later.

I have lived with HIV for 13 years. Lived with AIDS for 11 of them. Lived with AZT monotherapy and Viracept and about three dozen other names and abbreviations. Had OIs and STDs and STIs and all that junk. And I am still here. I am still alive.

I have made monumentally bad decisions on all fronts, from dabbling with drug adherence to dabbling with love. (Neither will work, by the way, unless you really commit.)

I am still here. And so many people are not. And I do not know why. My doctor does not know why. I stare at the blood as it leaves my arm. I carry the ghosts of braver, more beautiful, more worthy men and women whose blood is dust. Their hopes and dreams and love and bravery are legacies I feel compelled to perpetuate.

I am luckier than I will ever know.

ójonathan kivett

[attachment deleted by admin]

Offline Teresa

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,754
Re: Jonathan's (jkinatl2) POZ Mag page
« Reply #1 on: July 22, 2006, 10:46:18 AM »
Very nice Jonathan!

Hubby HIV+ 5/5/06
  %: 26.7
 VL: <20
Atripla (started it 8/24/06)

Offline Christine

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  • Posts: 1,069
Re: Jonathan's (jkinatl2) POZ Mag page
« Reply #2 on: July 22, 2006, 10:51:29 AM »
I am sitting here with tears in my eyes. I wish I could write how I felt right now, but I can't find the words. You have a gift, that was so good.
Poz since '93. Currently on Procrit, Azithromax, Pentamidine, Valcyte, Levothyroxine, Zoloft, Epzicom, Prezista, Viread, Norvir, and GS-9137 study drug. As needed: Trazodone, Atavan, Diflucan, Zofran, Hydrocodone, Octreotide

5/30/07 t-cells 9; vl 275,000

Offline AlanBama

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  • Posts: 3,670
  • Alabama: the 'other' 3rd World Country!
Re: Jonathan's (jkinatl2) POZ Mag page
« Reply #3 on: July 22, 2006, 11:01:11 AM »

Jonathan, you always inspire me.   We are lucky to have you!


"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline zephyr

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    • Zephyr L.T.N.P. Foundation, Inc.
Re: Jonathan's (jkinatl2) POZ Mag page
« Reply #4 on: July 22, 2006, 12:23:13 PM »
Hi Peter,

I applaud you and the entire POZ staff for seeking articles written by Jonathan. Since joining the Forums in September last year, I have always been riveted by his amazing talent, his clear perspectives, and of course, by his heart.

I am happy to call him my friend.

Best regards,

"It is character that communicates most eloquently."

Offline Cliff

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  • Posts: 2,645
Re: Jonathan's (jkinatl2) POZ Mag page
« Reply #5 on: July 22, 2006, 12:29:40 PM »
Nice writing Jonathan and cheers to Peter for bringing it to our attention.

- Cliff

Offline JR Gabbard

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  • Posts: 283
  • Union Jacks
Re: Jonathan's (jkinatl2) POZ Mag page
« Reply #6 on: July 22, 2006, 12:43:52 PM »

   Jonathan, you are a true poet.  And that, from me, is the highest praise there is!

It goes like this
The fourth, the fifth,
The minor fall, the major lift,
The baffled king composing Hallelujah!

L. Cohen

Offline angels4kelly

  • Member
  • Posts: 305
  • IT JUST IS!!.....OKAY!
Re: Jonathan's (jkinatl2) POZ Mag page
« Reply #7 on: July 22, 2006, 12:57:04 PM »
That was really great Jonathan!I really had no idea of the talent you possess.
I guess I haven't been around the forums long enough.
I'm proud to "know" you!

You're awesome ;)




Knowing others is intelligence;
knowing yourself is true wisdom.
Mastering others is strength;
mastering yourself is true power.
Failure is not in falling down,
but the staying down

Offline cph9680

  • Member
  • Posts: 325
Re: Jonathan's (jkinatl2) POZ Mag page
« Reply #8 on: July 22, 2006, 04:22:52 PM »
That's fantastic!  I'll have to see if I can get my grubby paws on a copy, that's really beautiful!

Offline Eldon

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Re: Jonathan's (jkinatl2) POZ Mag page
« Reply #9 on: July 22, 2006, 04:40:27 PM »
Peter, Johnathan is keeping it real. Thanks for sharing this post with the family here.

Offline Jeffreyj

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,403
Re: Jonathan's (jkinatl2) POZ Mag page
« Reply #10 on: July 22, 2006, 05:30:18 PM »
Wow. Now that was beautiful written. Thank you Peter and thanks to Jonathan for such thoughtful and meaningful writting.
Positive since 1985

Offline RobT

  • Member
  • Posts: 319
Re: Jonathan's (jkinatl2) POZ Mag page
« Reply #11 on: July 23, 2006, 02:48:04 AM »
Beautifully written, Jon. I hope to b reading more from u.


9/27/2005-1st test results
Viral Load >1,000,000
CD4 204
CD4%age 18
CD4/CD8 ratio .23
11/24/2005- Sustiva/Truvada
Viral Load 140
CD4 402
CD4%age .21
CD4/CD8 ratio .39

Viral Load 42
CD4 409
CD4%age .21
Next appt.-08/01/2006 (results/Hep A/B vaccination)

Current meds: Atripla
VL: undetectable
CD4: 630

Offline DancerBoy

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  • Posts: 284
Re: Jonathan's (jkinatl2) POZ Mag page
« Reply #12 on: July 23, 2006, 03:09:04 AM »
     You never cease to amaze me.  I'm so lucky that you're in my life.  I love you to death.
Boys are Stupid

Offline sweetasmeli

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,052
  • Love what you are...
Re: Jonathan's (jkinatl2) POZ Mag page
« Reply #13 on: July 23, 2006, 04:58:38 AM »
Jonathan, your writing style never fails to astound me...at times it boggles my mind too...but it always astounds me! Bravo!

Melia :)
/\___/\       /\__/\
(=' . '=)    (=' . '=)
(,,,_ ,,,)/   (,,,_ ,,,)/ Cats rule!

The difference between cats and dogs is that dogs come when called, whereas cats take a message and get back to you.

Yeia kai hara (health and happiness) to everyone!

Offline Nadine

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  • Posts: 1,253
  • Member since: August 2005
Re: Jonathan's (jkinatl2) POZ Mag page
« Reply #14 on: July 23, 2006, 08:22:00 AM »
Jonathan...I am in awe every time I read something from you! Very nice!

Thanks Peter for posting this.

Offline livingpositively

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  • Posts: 369
Re: Jonathan's (jkinatl2) POZ Mag page
« Reply #15 on: July 23, 2006, 02:22:12 PM »
Thanks for posting this, Peter.

WOW, Jonathan...that was awesome.  You really do have one helluva gift there.  Thank you for contiually sharing it with us in so many ways.

4/6/07   CD4 450, % 23, No VL
2/19/07 CD4 487, % 26, VL 47,500
1/4/07   CD4 357, % 27, No VL
10/3/06 CD4 500, % 26, VL 18,000
7/6/06   CD4 530, % 29, VL 83,800
4/6/06   CD4 555, % 28, VL 13,000

Offline ademas

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  • Posts: 1,152
Re: Jonathan's (jkinatl2) POZ Mag page
« Reply #16 on: July 23, 2006, 02:30:38 PM »
Very powerful writing, Jonathon.
Thanks for sharing your gifts with us.

Offline david25luvit

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  • Posts: 1,409
  • Member since March 2005
Re: Jonathan's (jkinatl2) POZ Mag page
« Reply #17 on: July 24, 2006, 12:22:51 PM »
Peter...Thank you for sharing this with us.  As always Jonathan speaks from the heart...I for one am glad he's still around to remind us of how fortunate we are...and what a gift life truly is!

A Big Thumbs Up Guys :-*
In Memory of
Raymond David McRae III
Nov. 25, 1972- Oct. 15, 2004
I miss him terribly..........

Offline pozguy75

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,239
    • POZitively Speaking
Re: Jonathan's (jkinatl2) POZ Mag page
« Reply #18 on: July 24, 2006, 02:09:05 PM »
Peter thanks for sharing this!

Jonathan...I have missed you...well, I have missed a lot recently, but just reading your words are inspirational! Thank you...for just being you!

Dx 2005

Offline Brian360

  • Member
  • Posts: 47
  • Just livin' it up until the sun goes down.
Re: Jonathan's (jkinatl2) POZ Mag page
« Reply #19 on: July 24, 2006, 06:15:30 PM »
Very Raw...Very Nice!!
July06: Tcells 0, VL >+750,000
Aug06: TCells 22, VL 214,000
Sep06: TCells 32, VL 34,500
Oct06: TCells 92, VL 9,560
Dec06: Tcells 27, VL 25,000
Jan07: Tcells 43, VL - un-detect
Jan10: TCells 111 - popped to 160 fall 09, VL  undectable since Oct. 07


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