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Author Topic: How would you say it............  (Read 3899 times)

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Offline Losta

  • Member
  • Posts: 17
How would you say it............
« on: May 06, 2008, 01:46:09 AM »

Something crazy happen, I went to one of those online dating sites....just out of boredom, not loneliness, but wanting just to talk to a guy ..in a normal way without doing it at a bar, club or one of those night out with the girls....

A month ago started talking to this men, there is a big age gab between us,  I'm 38 he is 55.....so because of that I didn't thought  much of it as a  "something " that could become "something"....

The emails ...became more personal and after a month ...we started talking on the phone every other weekend....Every time we talk I found myself giggling like if I was 18 again, the sound of his voice makes me forget where I am or what I have been through or what I was doing at that moment!!

I have told him about my bad marriage but nothing more..........Again because of the age difference never thought that this "something" could become " something"

My heart was broken when I found out about my ex-husband cheating on me...and later finding out I was positive...
I have my days where I forget I live with Ivy (that's how I call being HIV +) and there are those days like today where my heart start feelings again  ....the feelings of love, lust,anticipation.........and then FEAR kicks in...

Last night he call me and ask me to meet, and without me thinking.....My heart said "yes" and we are going to meet at the end of may.

Maybe I will not be attracted to him........and then my fears will disappear....maybe I will and If I am how do I tell him without him  not judging........

I know I can not give him anything from my side....... Is different when you meet someone face to face and you start connecting and later you tell them your secret ..........
But in this kind of circumstances how would you do it?? If I really like him I want him to get to know me for who I am, with no judgments.....

I'm confuse and at times scared ..........

I have had previous relationships and they have not work..not because of Ivy....just because it wasn't there ...and they were all   different......
Most men I have meet first thing in theirs mind is sex.....And I don't mean to brag ..but I'm not ugly....

My mystery men (which is not so mysterious after all) have send me pictures of himself and he is a honey!! muscular so my type is scary!! He doesn't even look his real age!!

How do I approach it? How ?  ANY SUGGESTIONS??

Should I wait to and see If my fantasy men is just a fantasy.............And if he becomes real to me.......the day we meet ....YOU KNOW THE FACE TO FACE ENCOUNTER......


Offline BT65

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Re: How would you say it............
« Reply #1 on: May 06, 2008, 06:45:33 AM »
Losta, first, take a breath.  You don't even know this man.  He might be your type, he might not.

I personally wouldn't disclose the first meeting.  I'd wait to see if you guys "clicked."  If so, then all you can do is be open and honest with him.  If it's really worth your time, he'll stick around.  If he doesn't, then it wasn't really worth it. 
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

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Offline Losta

  • Member
  • Posts: 17
Re: How would you say it............
« Reply #2 on: May 06, 2008, 10:52:45 AM »

Hi Betty ( is that your name? )

I WANT TO THANK YOU!! I was thinking about it last night and I came to the same conclusion!! Thank you for reinforcing my thoughts!! :)

Offline Queen Tokelove

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  • Posts: 6,033
  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: How would you say it............
« Reply #3 on: May 06, 2008, 11:09:54 AM »
I agree with Betty. Wait and see how the meeting goes and if you guys click or not. Disclosure is a personal choice, some are ready to tell it from Day 1 and others like myself prefer to wait til the time is right. DO what is best for you not what others think you should do. Good Luck.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
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Offline 27years

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  • Posts: 145
  • What I did for love I will still do it for love
Re: How would you say it............
« Reply #4 on: May 06, 2008, 04:20:05 PM »
Good luck,  follow your insticts, and remember you are not under any pressure to disclose its how you feel about it yourself which matters
Nobody dies a virgin life screws us all up

Offline Winiroo

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,082
  • Positive since 1991
Re: How would you say it............
« Reply #5 on: May 06, 2008, 05:00:57 PM »
I once talked to a guy online for 3 months before I found out that the pictures he was showing me where not current like he said but rather of him 10 years earlier. His current pictures where foul.

I'm not completely shallow but damn....

I've met several men from online whose photos did no justice in person. Also some men come off differently online than they do in person. I've met my fair share of wack jobs and loony toons.

Offline Losta

  • Member
  • Posts: 17
Re: How would you say it............
« Reply #6 on: May 07, 2008, 02:25:11 AM »


I want to share this link with all you, My BFF send it to me today, was kind of thinking too much... .... ...Hope you like it, I did.



  • Guest
Re: How would you say it............
« Reply #7 on: May 07, 2008, 06:06:27 AM »
hie losta

i agree with the others that u get to know each other and disclose when u're ready. but dont leave it too late though, more chances of getting hurt the more u get attached to someone. i really hope it works out for you. good luck!

Offline gone5150

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  • Posts: 10
  • ::GONE::
Re: How would you say it............
« Reply #8 on: May 07, 2008, 01:26:24 PM »
I once spoke to a man online for 2 years, we had made plans to meet probably 10 different times...none of which ever happened.  It wasn't until recently when I wrote him out of curiosity just to see how he was doing that I found out the pictures he had been sending me all of that time, weren't even him!!!!!  I was semi-floored but had to chock it up to the internet, LOL!  I feel if you aren't comfortable disclosing before hand, just wait it out and you'll know when the time is right.  From my experience if you are calm and ready to talk openly (and statistically) they don't go running like we fear.  Good Luck :)

I'd rather be hated for who I am...
Than loved for who I'm NOT!


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