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Author Topic: a little scared and in need of some words of wisdom  (Read 2908 times)

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Offline Skot73

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a little scared and in need of some words of wisdom
« on: April 11, 2008, 05:45:42 AM »
hey, everyone.  this is my first post here.  i've read a bit on the site and am really grateful for what you guys do here.  first off, i'm not sure what new info. you could give me, i suppose i'm just concerned and in need of a little moral support.  of course, though, give it to me straight.

i'm a heterosexual male who's had unprotected sex with 5 females.  i have never been tested.  three of those partners have been tested and said they came back negative.  but, as has been said before here, that doesn't mean much.  of the 3 who say they've been tested, 2 were one time encounters and the other was in a long term monogamous relationship.  of the two that haven't been tested, one was a one time incident and the other was on numerous occasions. 

the reason i've become recently concerned is because i went to the doctor today with flu like symptoms.  i took a flu test and it came back negative but i was told i do have a viral infection.  the doctor said sometimes flu tests give a false negative and he thinks (though isn't sure) that it is the flu.  but, after that, i just started getting really worried.

i'm going to get tested on sunday with the girl who i've had lots of unprotected sex with.  this is the first time for both of us getting tested.  since i'm home sick with (i pray) the flu, i've got nothing else to do, but worry. 

i also know that aids can occur in anyone regardless of race, color or nationality, but the two girls who i've had unprotected sex with who haven't been tested are japanese.  (i live in japan).  and i've read that japan has one of the lowest rates of aids occurrence. 

so, that's my story.  after reading this site i do feel a bit better, but i'm still quite worried.  any other words of wisdom to help me assess my situation before i find out about 48 hrs. would be much appreciated. 

thanks, everyone and best wishes. :)

Offline Ann

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Re: a little scared and in need of some words of wisdom
« Reply #1 on: April 11, 2008, 06:10:01 AM »

The ONLY way to know your hiv status is through testing. A test at three months past your last incident of unprotected intercourse will be conclusive.

Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Skot73

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Re: a little scared and in need of some words of wisdom
« Reply #2 on: April 11, 2008, 06:42:35 AM »
hey, thanks for the response, ann!  it was pretty no nonsense.  i'm definitely getting tested on sunday, but i guess what i'm looking for though is someone to say that i'm at low risk.  a little reassurance as i pass the next 48 hrs.  then again, perhaps saying i'm at low risk wouldn't be entirely honest.  i'm just already running the worst case scenarios through my head. 

i think my last unprotected sexual encounter was about a month and a half ago.  so it's still a bit early.  i hope though that since she's going to get tested as well, that if she tests negative and i test negative, that should be a bit of peace.  i will still retest in another 2 months though.

man, i've been pretty stupid.  yikes! :-\

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: a little scared and in need of some words of wisdom
« Reply #3 on: April 11, 2008, 08:00:50 AM »
HIV is not an easy virus to transmit. It is significantly harder to accomplish from female to male. Nothing you are reporting symptomatically is in any way HIV specific. Often flu-like symptoms are just that -- symptoms of the flu.

The only time you can safely dispense with condoms for intercourse is when both partners test negative together and agree to be in a securely monogamous relationship. Bear that in mind in relation to your current gf whom you mention is getting tested. To get a conclusively reliable test result it ought to be at 13 weeks past the most recent unprotected incident.

Good luck with your initial test result. The average time to seroconversion is 22 days. All but the very smallest number of those who are going to seroconvert will do so with in 4-6 weeks after an exposure. If you test negative at 6 weeks the likelihood is that you are giong to continue to test negative.

Good luck and keep us posted.

Andy Velez

Offline Skot73

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Re: a little scared and in need of some words of wisdom
« Reply #4 on: April 11, 2008, 08:23:56 AM »
thanks so much, andy!  i just needed a little reassurance.  luckily, i also have a good friend who i've already told about this concern and he's really supportive.  this has definitely taught me to be more careful in the future.  i'm hoping and praying for the best on sunday and will update you on the results in this thread.  i hope it'll be good news.   :)

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: a little scared and in need of some words of wisdom
« Reply #5 on: April 11, 2008, 03:55:05 PM »
Fingers crossed for you.

Andy Velez

Offline Skot73

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Re: a little scared and in need of some words of wisdom
« Reply #6 on: April 13, 2008, 10:59:29 PM »
a happy update!
we went yesterday and both of tested negative!  yay!  thanks for all the support and keep up the good work, guys!

best wishes,


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