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Welcome to the POZ Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

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Author Topic: scared  (Read 3948 times)

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Offline deblez

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  • Posts: 2
scared
« on: July 18, 2006, 08:29:29 pm »
Hi,

I am so glad i found this forum. Here goes.... My sister died of AIDS in April 2005. We found that she had AIDS in Nov 2004. During the 2004 year my sister would complain of a various things. e.g., feethurting, her gait was off, thrush in the mouth and she was just acting crazy. Now we know that she had neuropathy and dementia. Watching my sister suffer was painful. However, we were very close and lived together. Due to her dementia she would use my toothbrush, underwear, bath towels etc. (not purposefully but thinking they were hers). I'm worried if I was unknowingly exposed by putting underwear that she put on, or by brushing my teeth if she previously used my toothbrush. I don't mean to sound simple minded but Sometimes i feel that I'm having some of the same symptoms that she was going through up until her diagnosis. I was tested in March of 2005 and previously in 2001 and was negative. I have not engaged in unprotected sex even with my husband because I'm so afraid. Sometimes i feel that i am internalizing my sister's suffering that it is affecting my psyche. Thanks for reading!!!!
dlez
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Offline jkinatl2

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  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: scared
« Reply #1 on: July 18, 2006, 08:42:34 pm »
I am very sorry to hear of your sister's sickness and passing.

I urge you to read the Welcome Thread in the signature line at the bottom of my post. The LESSONS section is ameticulously researched and carefullly written tutorial regarding HIV transmission.

Nothing you mention put you at risk for HIV. There is a theoretical risk if you and your sister stood side by side and passed the toothbrush back and forth while you were both bleeding from the gums. But as fragile as HIV is, and given the caustic chemicals in tap water as well as toothpaste, even THAT is closer to the realm of fantasy than reality.

People with HIV and AIDS live with, are taken care of, and comingle with HIV negative friends, family, spouses, and children without transmitting the virus. It is a sexually transmitted disease except under the most extreme circumstances. And casual contact such as the incidents you mention absolutely do not qualify.

I hope you are seeing a counselor for your anguish over your sister's death. If it is beginning to impact your ability to be rational regarding HIV, it might be a good idea. Your loss was a profound one, and your healing process will be equally profound.

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"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline deblez

  • New Member
  • Posts: 2
Re: scared
« Reply #2 on: July 18, 2006, 08:57:15 pm »
Thank you so much. I have never told anyone about this. No one know what my sister died from. I'm glad to share it. Again, Thanks. I will seek counseling.
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