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Author Topic: Don't Know Where Else to Turn To......  (Read 2888 times)

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Offline Mickey

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Don't Know Where Else to Turn To......
« on: January 25, 2008, 11:16:17 AM »
I'm new to this forum, and I dont know where else to turn to.  I'm soo paranoid and depressed right now I dont know what to think and its making me sick.  I'm a worry freak and I do have a bit of anxiety that has gotten better over time.  I need some help for I am literally killing myself in wondering if I'm infected with HIV.

As goes my story and sorry for it being long.  I'm a 24 heterosexual active male. I work in emergency services both fire and EMS so I deal with a lot of patients when I'm on call taking them to the hospital.  I engage in a lot of oral sex on women if they are into it. I've 95% of the time used protection when it came to intercourse, the times that were unprotected were with females that I've had long relationships with.  I'd say about 3 girls total throughout my life that I've not used a condom.   anyone else, I always use it.  the last girl that I had unprotected sex with was probably about 2 years ago.  my background comes like this.

3 years ago I was diagnosed with strep throat(tonsilitis) many many times and had my tonsils removed.  a year after I got them removed, I contracted chlamydia and was treated for the STD with noticable symptoms. 2 weeks of the antibotic I was cured.   about 4 months later in the year then I noticed a red spot start to form on my penis and I had really bad cramping in my abdomen.  I was a worry freak thinking I may have also contracted herpes.  so I went to the free clinic 2 weeks later and was tested and came back negative for everything.  they claimed that it may have been an irritation from rough intercourse.  later on the condition on my penis worsened and spots began to form and the skin started peeling. of course my cramping didn't go away and had persistant diarreha (sorry I cant spell)  later on I visited a urologist and he said that the bumps on my penis just may be irritation and they should go away if not, go see a dermatologist, as for the cramping & going to the bathroom a lot, I should go back to my doctor.  so I visited both doctors.  the dermatologist ruled that the conditon on my penis was "inverse" psoriasis  (skin condition that affects the genitals, vagina, or penis)   relived, he gave me an ointment that I use today that controls it.   went back to my doctor for my cramping, I was diagnosed with IBS (irritable bowel syndrom) based upon my symptoms and my eating habbits.  he put me on a medication and a small diet that relieved a lot of the cramping and the going to the bathroom.  it got me on the track of eating healthier and stop drinking sugars and carbs (sodas, energy drinks).  energy drinks, sodas, spicy foods and some dairy products triggered the condition to come back a few times, but I've been good now for the past year.  so living with both these conditions I thought I was in the clear.  ever since then, every 3 months I've gotten tested for STDs and HIV and all came back negative.

currently I've been dating a girl now for over 6 months, we've been sexually active and only have had sex maybe 6 times throughout the relationship, all times protected. at times it was just oral or making out. she's only been with one guy before me.  here comes the kicker.  not too long ago, I started getting a soar throat in my mouth.  I didn't think anything of it since its the colder weather and thinking I got a cold or flu.  so I took some OTC meds and the pain went away.  it later came back and it felt as if I had pressure (like someone was choking me or something was clogged in my neck).  felt around my neck and it felt a little painful near my lymph nodes and on the lower portion of my neck where it meets my shoulders.  I also was coughing occassionally with nothing coming up, then later on some mucus was coming up.  while brusing my teeth within the 2nd week of having this symptom, I looked in the back of my mouth and saw a grayish/white patch about the size of thumb tack in the rear of my mouth above where my tonsil used to be.  its not painful nor does it scrape away but it feels weird at times.  so I continued to take over the counter meds to relieve the choking feeling.   having no other symptoms, except here and there feeling light headed, and an occassional ear pain or two, nothing else.  the last sexual intercourse I had with my girlfriend was about 2 weeks ago, protected.   a week afterwards, she was starting to have really bad cramps and pain to the point where she couldn't walk or eat.  they took her to the emergency room and they think she may have an ovarian cyst, (her mom has had it too)   but the thing that scared me the most was when she came back and she said she had to go get tested for HIV or STDs before she can go through any other treatments for the cyst.  I occassionally look in my mouth and see that white patch, but I also notice another one on the other side of my mouth, in the back, in the area where my wisdom tooth used to be.  it scares the crap out of me looking at both spots in my mouth and I also notice a slight discoloration on the roof of my mouth, like a yellowish pink.   I have NO other symptoms like chills, night sweats, fever, etc.  as listed for HIV symptoms

i've scheduled an appointment with my doctor but cant get in to see him for at least another week and the free clinic isn't offering testing till next month since I missed the testing day last week.   I just need some reassurance as to everyone's expertise to what these grayish white spots in my mouth can be, for its causing a big worry and causing me to go into a depression thinking its HIV related and if I've passed it onto my girlfriend orally.   every website I look up and punch up my symptoms, HIV comes up somewhere in the paragraph and it just kills me.....    :-[    please help

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Don't Know Where Else to Turn To......
« Reply #1 on: January 25, 2008, 01:34:35 PM »
First of all you need to take a couple of nice, deep and slow breaths in and out, right now. I mean it. That's going to help to calm you down. And remember to do it whenever you become aware of feeling tense.

Now, as far as your HIV concerns. Because you have had unprotected intercourse you needed to get tested. You did that and tested negative. You only need to re-test if there has been unprotected intercourse since then. If so, it should be done at 13 weeks after you last such incident. That's always the only way to know your status accurately.

HIV is not an easy virus to transmit. It is significantly harder to accomplish from female to male. So odds are way in your favor that you're going to test negative. None of your other activities put you at risk for transmission.

If you have have further troublesome symptoms that's something to discuss with your doctor. Nothing you are reporting is in any way suggestive of HIV to me nor in any way HIV specific.

You always ought to be using a condom anytime you are having intercourse outside of a securely monogamous relationship in which both partners have tested negative.

Good luck with your test result if you need to take one.
« Last Edit: January 25, 2008, 01:46:35 PM by Andy Velez »
Andy Velez

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Don't Know Where Else to Turn To......
« Reply #2 on: January 25, 2008, 01:36:29 PM »

Getting a blowjob is not a risk for hiv infection. Going down on a woman is not a risk for hiv infection. Protected intercourse is not a risk for hiv infection.

As long as you haven't had unprotected intercourse since your last negative hiv test, you're still going to be hiv negative. Nothing you have done with the new woman in your life has been a risk.

We cannot possibly diagnose what's in your mouth. You need to go show it to your doctor or dentist. Whatever it is, it's highly unlikely to have anything to do with hiv.

The only way to know your hiv status is through testing. From all you've told us, I fully expect you to still be hiv negative.

Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts


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