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Author Topic: Because of Moffie  (Read 5867 times)

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Offline Teresa

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  • Posts: 1,754
Because of Moffie
« on: July 07, 2006, 11:04:01 PM »
Its because of Moffie! I want to thank him publically.  ;D

Since i have been at these forums and have read things that Moffie, aztecan, Sonomabeach, Zephyr, and many others have said, i have wanted to do something, anything.

I had talked to hubby about doing some kind of volunteer work with HIV/Aids here in our city. He wasnt too keen on the idea. He doesnt want anyone to know he is HIV+ and he thought that if I all of a sudden started volunteering with HIV it would raise some questions. So I didnt want to so anything that would make him uncomfortable as he has enough to deal with. So I thought that was it. Then I got the idea to PM Moffie and explain my dilemma and see if he had any suggestions. He sent me a PM and asked if I would give him a couple of days to get his thoughts together.

Well he sent me and hubby a pm yesterday. Asked that we read it together which we did. After Hubby read it, he looked at me and said ok, if you want to volunteer, knock yourself out. Moffie knew just the right things to say! Thank you so much Tim! :-*

Well today i went and donated some ensure that Hubby didnt need to Positive Directions. I asked about getting an application to volunteer. Of course the lady wasnt there so a nice looking man in his 30s talked to me. I asked him questions that ranged from..Why I never hear about fund raisers for HIV/Aids being done here to questions about the food bank and how food is distributed. I wouldnt say that i went off on him on why more isnt done in our city toward awareness but Id say he was taken aback from some of questions and comments. He asked if he could ask why i was so passionate about HIV/Aids and I told him about hubby. He took my name and address and said he would have the lady mail me out an application since he didnt know where she kept them. I said ok and asked what his job was there. He smiled at me and said Im the Director here. I shook his hand and said it was nice meeting you and he looked at me and smiled and said I know I will be seeing more of you.

So thanks to Moffie I think Im on my way. You all have inspired me to get involved and do something.

I love you all.


Hubby HIV+ 5/5/06
  %: 26.7
 VL: <20
Atripla (started it 8/24/06)

Offline zephyr

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    • Zephyr L.T.N.P. Foundation, Inc.
Re: Because of Moffie
« Reply #1 on: July 07, 2006, 11:20:52 PM »
Hi Teresa!

YOU GO GIRL!! I am just so impressed with how you have resolved this 'dilemma', ALL of you!

Another fine example of the incredible connections happening here, solutiions to problems offered, the direction of a life changed, and indeed many, many lives touched down the road.

It says so much about you, and your hubby, and of course, Moffie......his wisdom and huge heart have no end, aren't we all so fortunate?

I have been inspired by your story, and can only say that I look forward to hearing updates about your journey!!

With love,

Zephyr :-*
"It is character that communicates most eloquently."

Offline AlanBama

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Re: Because of Moffie
« Reply #2 on: July 07, 2006, 11:40:21 PM »
Yay Teresa!   I'm proud of you. 
"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline Oscar

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Re: Because of Moffie
« Reply #3 on: July 08, 2006, 12:02:25 AM »
Way to go Teresa! I am proud of you!



Offline livingpositively

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  • Posts: 369
Re: Because of Moffie
« Reply #4 on: July 08, 2006, 12:37:45 AM »
YAY, Teresa...

That's awesome!!!
4/6/07   CD4 450, % 23, No VL
2/19/07 CD4 487, % 26, VL 47,500
1/4/07   CD4 357, % 27, No VL
10/3/06 CD4 500, % 26, VL 18,000
7/6/06   CD4 530, % 29, VL 83,800
4/6/06   CD4 555, % 28, VL 13,000

Offline allopathicholistic

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Re: Because of Moffie
« Reply #5 on: July 08, 2006, 06:01:06 AM »
thank you Teresa - you're  making a difference in this world. so glad you talked with the director!

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Because of Moffie
« Reply #6 on: July 08, 2006, 06:19:20 AM »
Hey Teresa!

I love it - turns out you had a rant at the best possible person! How cool is that?!?

I'm dying to know what Moffie said that changed hubby's mind. It might be something we could all do with hearing.

Thank you Teresa, your efforts will be (and are) very much appreciated.

Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline bobik

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Re: Because of Moffie
« Reply #7 on: July 08, 2006, 06:26:20 AM »
Teresa, that is great.

Tim, I love you!
Coen Honig at Facebook

Offline angels4kelly

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  • IT JUST IS!!.....OKAY!
Re: Because of Moffie
« Reply #8 on: July 08, 2006, 08:28:28 AM »
That is really great!
Thank you.




Knowing others is intelligence;
knowing yourself is true wisdom.
Mastering others is strength;
mastering yourself is true power.
Failure is not in falling down,
but the staying down

Offline Alain

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  • I am.
Re: Because of Moffie
« Reply #9 on: July 08, 2006, 08:34:29 AM »
« Last Edit: November 03, 2006, 08:31:49 PM by cowandalehouse »

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Because of Moffie
« Reply #10 on: July 08, 2006, 08:54:11 AM »
That's pretty damn terrific, Teresa. And it's good to read that Moffie's eloquence got through to your hubby. Good ol' Moff!

Good luck with your volunteering. You've made a great start in that interaction with the Director.

I'm staying tuned on this one, Teresa.

Andy Velez

Offline kcmetroman

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Re: Because of Moffie
« Reply #11 on: July 08, 2006, 09:05:34 AM »
Teresa,  you knew what to do all along.  You both just needed a push.  Your concern for people is what drives you, not the need to be categorized as an influence within these walls.

Offline Moffie65

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,755
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Re: Because of Moffie
« Reply #12 on: July 08, 2006, 10:00:19 AM »

As you must know, I don't usually come here on weekends, and we are just now, preparing for a trip to Tucson to do some shopping.  I was however, surprised this morning at 4am, when I arose to this message. 

I want to mirror what many have already said here, and point this right back at YOU.  It was only because of your fire, that I was even able to help in any way possible.  If you feel  so led, you may post the letter here, but I leave that completely up to you, as it was meant for you guys to read and enjoy.  I see others are curious, so it might shed some light on the subject, but I leave it up to you.

In the end, I am forever one of your fans and supporters, and if you ever need anything more that I can help with, please do not hesitate to ask.  I can't wait to hear about your new quest in life, and hear of the work you are doing right there in your home town.

In Love and Support.
The Bible contains 6 admonishments to homosexuals,
and 362 to heterosexuals.
This doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals,
It's just that they need more supervision.
Lynn Lavne

Offline Teresa

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Re: Because of Moffie
« Reply #13 on: July 08, 2006, 10:08:18 AM »
Here is the PM that Moffie sent to me and Hubby.

Dear Teresa and Hubby,

I would like you guys to read this together, and imagine that I am sitting there with you.  If Teresa hasn’t told you, I went off this morning, and will probably suffer the wrath of some of the members of the forum.  Oh well…….. 

Listen you guys, I wouldn’t for a second try to tell you how to run your own home, nor would I judge you for any decisions you might make; they are yours and must be respected.

Hubby, your wife is one very special person.  I cannot tell you how many relationships, marriages, or businesses have been blown asunder by the viral protein we call HIV.  The reality is you and your wife are in a very small percentage of people, and for that, I think she is one very special person.  I also want you to remember what it is like to take care of someone who is terminally sick, and needs care at all times.  It is a very difficult thing for a partner to lie in bed, and wonder if the person they love will still be breathing in the morning.  I cannot tell you what it is like to be a caregiver of a partner who is dangerously close to death, but I can tell you the trauma that it brought to our home in ’93, ’94, ’95, ’96, ’97, ’98 and ’99; when I was drowning in a struggle for life itself.

You will hopefully come to some peace about the bug your body is carrying, and the sooner that you understand that nobody on the planet can or should, stand in judgment of you or your family; the sooner you will find some peace with the new life you are living.  Try to remember, nobody can judge you unless you allow them to have that kind of power over you.

Please remember also that if you allow your very special wife to volunteer, that nobody has to know you are HIV+, as very few HIV+ people are working anywhere near AIDS Service Organizations anymore.  In the past, nobody wanted a job at an ASO who wasn’t HIV+, because of the stigma involved; now however, few of us are left in the work, and the focus is not what it used to be.  I must also remind you that by law, HIV+ people and their families are encouraged to be involved in the work, as it keeps everyone focused on the needs of the clients, and their families.  Hiding in silence and having a lack of action, in the future, will destroy the current system of care that we have developed over the last 25 years.  Only with our involvement, will there continue to be a conscience in the execution of services for us.

I hope you can find it in your heart to encourage your very special wife to go ahead and do this volunteer work, as it will certainly help you and your family in the future, when care is divided amongst those who have shown some support for the work.  You see, over the last 25 years, everything that you have enjoyed in your survival, was accomplished through a huge amount of physical struggle on the part of people just like Teresa, who saw a vision of giving something back to the system of care.  The doctors visits, hospitalizations, the transport, the medications, the case management, and all the things you are now qualified to receive; were all the result of people working together as volunteers to accomplish this goal.

Enough said………..   Please re-consider your choices here, and think about what an important contribution to your own care, Teresa is trying to do here.

In Love and Support.
Tim.  “Moffie”
Hubby HIV+ 5/5/06
  %: 26.7
 VL: <20
Atripla (started it 8/24/06)

Offline Biggums

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Re: Because of Moffie
« Reply #14 on: July 08, 2006, 10:11:12 AM »

Good for you!  I am sure your efforts will have some eternal significance to them.  Moffie has helped me and my honey through some tough times too.  He's always there when I need him.
44 year old gay man .......just broke up with the only man I've ever really loved.

You can love completely without complete understanding.

Offline Oceanbeach

  • Member
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Re: Because of Moffie
« Reply #15 on: July 08, 2006, 06:48:09 PM »
Dear Teresa,

You are a very special person.  It seems like only two months ago when your world was turned upside down by this thing we call HIV.  You jumped in the middle of it all, started asking questions, getting the answers and offering support to others in the process.

I admire you every day for your strength, your courage and your conviction and most of all for what you have done to keep your family together.  Having lived through all of this myself and alone for the past 12 years, I know it has not been easy but you accepted the challenge and you are a force to be reckoned with.

There are very few things that have the ability to invoke an emotional response from me.  I responded to this post yesterday and got sidetracked and forgot to hit send, my earlier response was lost in cyber space.  After reading Moffies email to you and Hubby, I found that I can make tears.

Being on the Planning Council, several sub-committees and the Funding Allocation Working Group, I see a lot of financial reports from local ASOs and having so much information coming my way on the RWCA re-authorization legislation, I often wonder how so many non-profit organizations will be able to keep their doors  open and continue to provide support and needed services.  Kansas has a secret weapon called Teresa.  Thank you ever so much for being the person you are.  Have the best day


Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Because of Moffie
« Reply #16 on: July 08, 2006, 07:11:33 PM »
There are not words sufficient to describe the love and admiration I have for Daddy Tim. Your post is elegant testimony Teresa.



Offline anniebc

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Re: Because of Moffie
« Reply #17 on: July 08, 2006, 07:26:54 PM »
Hi Teresa

Like all the others I'm very proud of you...you really are on your way..and you won't regret one day of it.

Jan :-*
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline Cliff

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Re: Because of Moffie
« Reply #18 on: July 08, 2006, 08:29:06 PM »
Good for you Teresa!!!  And good for (Tim) Moffie for helping your husband see the light.  Keep us posted!!!


Offline Robert

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Re: Because of Moffie
« Reply #19 on: July 08, 2006, 11:16:31 PM »

You've gone from one worried wife to a positive thinking, adult woman bent on doing something for the good of all us us.   Wow.  What a change.  Congratulations.

And thanks Tim for your kind words.



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