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Author Topic: I just tested positive  (Read 6321 times)

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Offline CoryT

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  • Posts: 3
I just tested positive
« on: October 16, 2007, 03:56:13 PM »
Hey guy's i just tested positive yesterday and it has me freaking out, the material on this site has put some things into perspective, but I am scared and I dont know what to do I have never had to deal with something like this. I have told a few people my friends mostly, little terrified to tell my mom. Everyone is supportive so far and everyone say's it will be ok cause its hard to believe them, will I be ok???? I don't want to be a burden to the people who love me, this is alot for someone to process, i am having a hard time with it and I feel lost.

Offline DanielMark

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Re: I just tested positive
« Reply #1 on: October 16, 2007, 04:40:25 PM »
If you read through the posts on these forums Cory, you'll soon discover that your life is not over, just changed now. If you take good care of your health and don't abuse your body chances are you'll be around a good long time to come.




Offline milker

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Re: I just tested positive
« Reply #2 on: October 16, 2007, 05:18:02 PM »
Hi Cory,

welcome to the forums. Getting this kind of news is certainly difficult to digest, but you don't have to jump and tell everyone, you will need to understand what's in it for you so that when it comes to disclosing to your mom you will be able to answer her questions.

For now, be selfish, it's all about you. Get a grip on it!

Are you scheduled for your numbers yet? Did you get the western blot results or just the rapid test?

mid-dec: stupid ass
mid-jan: seroconversion
mid-feb: poz
mar 07: cd4 432 (35%) vl 54000
may 07: cd4 399 (28%) vl 27760
jul 07: cd4 403 (26%) vl 99241
oct 07: cd4 353 (24%) vl 29993
jan 08: cd4 332 (26%) vl 33308
mar 08: cd4 392 (23%) vl 75548
jun 08: cd4 325 (27%) vl 45880
oct 08: cd4 197 (20%) vl 154000 <== aids diagnosis
nov 2 08 start Atripla
nov 30 08: cd4 478 (23%) vl 1880 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feb 19 09: cd4 398 (24%) vl 430 getting there!
apr 23 09: cd4 604 (29%) vl 50 woohoo :D :D
jul 30 09: cd4 512 (29%) vl undetectable :D :D
may 27 10: cd4 655 (32%) vl undetectable :D :D

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Offline megasept

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Re: I just tested positive
« Reply #3 on: October 16, 2007, 05:36:16 PM »
If you read through the posts on these forums Cory, you'll soon discover that your life is not over, just changed now. If you take good care of your health and don't abuse your body chances are you'll be around a good long time to come.


Hi, Cory. The key is things will gradually sort themselves out. You don't need to rush to do anything, other than find a superior specialist and get some blood work done. The social and psychological is much harder. Study, work, sleep, eat well, exercise, dance, whatever you were doing last week. That's my advice.

Your life will change, but it's not the end of the world. Tell your Mom if and when you're ready. I agree with Milker: this is your business. Involve people as much as your trust and instincts allow. Most everyone will say the right thing after disclosure. Some will disappoint later (deeds aren't words), and others will rally to your side. It's a learning experience, even for your (negative) circle you are involving. Read what others have written, especially the newly poz. Listen to others but choose your own path.

We older poz (both meanings) like to reassure the newly poz, because we want to spare you from "doom and gloom" outlooks. Lots of people lead great lives with our unwelcome virus as companion.

 8)  -megasept
« Last Edit: October 16, 2007, 05:38:06 PM by megasept »

Offline mplsdoubled

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  • Posts: 52
Re: I just tested positive
« Reply #4 on: October 16, 2007, 10:56:19 PM »
Hi Cory,

You're not alone and that can be the most important thing to remember right now.  I tested positive 6 weeks ago.  It's been a roller coaster of emotions ever since but generally I'm doing well and so will you.  It has helped me every time I realized that I am not the first to deal with this and I won't be the last and that there is a whole community out there that we can lean on.

Testing positive has made me feel very lonely at times but that's just an emotion - it's not reality.  Take a deep breath and just take it a day at a time.  This is a manageable disease - it is NOT a death sentence.  Sure, this will alter our lives and it isn't what we planned for but that's not to say this can't be a rewarding journey full of all of the up's and down's that we would have expected otherwise.

Keep smilin'   :)

Offline next2u

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Re: I just tested positive
« Reply #5 on: October 17, 2007, 12:32:52 AM »
hello c,

i want to reiterate what person above me said, you are not alone. there is a wealth of knowledge on this site and the members are great listeners & support. a bit of advice, i tested poz 4 weeks ago and i found a support group. went to it tonight for the first time and it was WONDERFUL. in that room was a ton of support, experience and help. if you have anything like that near you i'd recommend checking it out. hey c, you'll get through this, along with the rest of us. it's kinda strange, but i feel like we are in the same cohort.

midapr07 - seroconversion
sept07 - tested poz
oct07 cd4 1013; vl 13,900; cd4% 41
feb08 cd4  694;  vl 16,160; cd4% 50.1
may08 cd4 546; vl 91,480; cd4% 32
aug08 cd4 576; vl 48,190; cd4% 40.7
dec08 cd4 559; vl 63,020; cd4% 29.4
feb09 cd4 464; vl 11,000; cd4% 26
may09 cd4 544; vl 29,710; cd4% 27.2
oct09 cd4 ...; vl 23,350; cd4% 31.6
mar10 cd4 408; vl 59,050; cd4% 31.4
aug10 cd4 328; vl 80,000; cd4% 19.3 STARTED ATRIPLA
oct10 cd4 423; vl 410 ;); cd4% 30.2
jun11 cd4 439; vl <20 ;); cd4% 33.8 <-Undetectable!
mar12 cd4 695; vl ud; cd4% 38.6
jan13 cd4 738; vl ud; cd4% 36.8
aug13 cd4 930; vl ud; cd4% 44.3
jan14 cd4 813; vl ud; cd4% 42.8
may14 cd4 783; vl *; cd4%43.5
sept14 cd4 990; vl ud; cd4% *
jun15 cd4 1152; vl ud; cd4% *
oct15 cd4 583; vl 146; cd4% 42
mar16 cd4 860

Offline LACboi

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Re: I just tested positive
« Reply #6 on: October 18, 2007, 03:19:08 AM »
Hello Cory,

You will be ok, and you have plenty of time to inform family and friend, if you want to tell them. You need to get a hold of yourself first. If you have a good friend or sibling I would tell them so you have someone that you can unload on, but make sure the are emotionally stable, and can handle the news.

Take care.

Offline gpete

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  • Posts: 9
Re: I just tested positive
« Reply #7 on: October 18, 2007, 09:57:24 AM »
Hi Cory,  I just read your post and would like to AGREE

Offline gpete

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Re: I just tested positive
« Reply #8 on: October 18, 2007, 10:26:24 AM »
Hi Cory,   Gpete again....I hit the wrong key and didn't finish my earlier attempt to post.  Yes,  your life will be changed.    BUT it's NOT the end of the world for you yet.     I agree with ALL the earlier posts.    HIV IS a MANAGEABLE disease now!     I've known I've been poz for 20+ years!     I have had NO illnesses PERIOD and I've only been on meds for about 4 years now.    As you've already been advised....take care of YOURSELF!Cut yourself some slack and get a grip on your situation.    Try to focus more on the POSITIVES rather than the negatives.     Share your info with someone you can trust so that you can have someone to talk to.    Share with your Mom or other family members when you feel YOU are ready.    Be prepared to let her or them react in possibly a negative way...BUT...also allow them alittle time to digest the new info.    It may be alot for them to understand and they may need time to take it all in.    I'd also like to recommend a little book that I came across that "speaks" to me EVERY day.    "The Color of Light" is a daily devotional written to help us ALL deal with HIV.   It is NOT religious but it does speak and make reference to our HIGHER power.    You can order it for about $3 from bn.com (used book section).     We all need reassurance from time to time whether we are poz or not.    I've shared this book with family as well as friends,  (even those who are NOT poz} and everybody who I've shared with who read it have told me it speaks to them too.    Also,  when you start your meds...TAKE THEM....just as your doctor orders!     If you have side effects share with your doctor.    There are many good drugs available and if one doesn't work then will be another one that more than likely will.     Try to look at your new diagnosis as a positive thing.    Now you know and you CAN and WILL lead a normal life....it may just be alittle different than you had planned.    Be well my friend.... and keep "thinkin' the GOOD thoughts!"

Offline SouthPaw

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  • Posts: 1
Re: I just tested positive
« Reply #9 on: October 18, 2007, 11:49:08 PM »

First of all let me welcome you to the club that nobody wanted to join.  You have joined a wonderful group of people of all shapes, sizes, and colors.  You are not in any way shape or form alone...OK?

Here are a few things I want you to know.

 :oYou are going to die...someday...we all do...it will probably a cross town bus....but for now just accept this reality.  Know for now...TODAY...you are going to be just fine.  Keep an eye on your numbers and when it is time for you to start meds do so without hesitation.  Take your meds every day.  Make it a health ritual.  I drink a glass of v-8 and have whatever "snack" makes me smile.  I actually look forward to it now.  Do not be an idiot with your health ever again.  It's a good promise to make to yourself now.
 8)Your health and your life are in your hands and you will now need this thing that you have had all along but had never seen it tested quite so strenuously....and that thing is strength and conviction....conviction to LIVE and STRENGTH to let go of anything any thought that doesn't serve you.  Clean your closets in a big way....take this opportunity to set some radical goals for your life.  What the hell?  Dream big...after all you are going to die someday anyway....RIGHT?
Choose to be healthy.  Eat tons of yogurt and granola and parsnips and carrots and overdose on smoothies. 
 >:(See this face?  If you make faces like this it will stick and no one likes a grump.  Seriously, lighten up.  Laugh all the time.  Give love and forgiveness like you have never given.  You will, if you allow yourself to, become the best you that you have ever been.  You may not believe it now...in your fear and uncertainty...but believe me I tell you from the bottom of my heart that one day you may see this as the best damn thing that ever happened to you because it has provided an unbelievable opportunity for growth self actualization. 
 :)READ READ READ...and then read some more.  I swear I earned a PhD in HIV after my diagnosis and I found that it helps to be informed.  This is an awesome site to stick with.  One caveat, be careful not to become to overwhelmed with the possibilities.  It is easy to sit and wait for the aids defining illness to swoop down and get you but my bet is still on the crosstown bus.
 :DKnow that you have the power of choice always.  Chose to laugh and love...but especially to LIVE...because my new friend that is exactly what you will continue to do. 
 :-*This I send with a kiss.   Let go of stress.  Let it go.  Banish stress from your life.  Use your diagnosis as an excuse to be ridiculously happy and carefree.  Find joy and wonder in every day.

Cory you will be just fine.  I promise.
Peace Always Jake

Offline jordan

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  • Posts: 239
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Re: I just tested positive
« Reply #10 on: October 19, 2007, 05:58:41 AM »
sorry to hear about your diagnosis, but I agree with other members......your life is not over and after you get over the initial shock and starting getting educated about the virus you'll find that you can handle more than you think.

this is simply a new chapter in your life.....that's how I thought about it and now 2 years after my diagnosis and in a better place, physically, mentally, and spiritually.

If anything, you learn more about yourself and you actually try to take care of yourself more.

Just remember, give it time and take one day at a time.

Also, most people are addicted to suffering, choose to focus on joy... be committed to joy and the best advice I can give is to be your authentic self.


If you think your lonely now, wait until tonight.


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