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Author Topic: Dating Thread Part VIII: Brain-dead, Blusey and Befuddled  (Read 40240 times)

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Offline Dragonette

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Re: Dating Thread Part VIII: Brain-dead, Blusey and Befuddled
« Reply #100 on: October 23, 2007, 07:01:49 AM »
Hi ladies,

It's beautiful here but cold, yesterday morning I cycled to work at -1 celsius, my ears nearly fell off.

I am working at home today b/c I have not been sleeping well at all in the last nights. PMS, like 10 days before my period. I wonder if the new meds have something to do with it. It took me a long time to wind down from the drama of the last weeks with my doctors. In the mentime, all sorts of anxieties surfaces, mainly about my parents, I feel so guilty over leaving them. My BF & i were supposed to go there in Nov but I will only know if 2 weeks if he can make it late Nov-early Dec, b/c of his job. he has started applying to jobs in Spain and I don't know if I want to move there... about that I will start a thread sometimes in the Living with and get feedback from people living there. Just so much cropping up.

My parents will fly to NYC in a few days. It just makes me want to cry b/c I am so uninvolved in their lives. They helped me so much when this ***t was going on here with my meds. I didn't want them involved, but in retrospect, with all the guilt I had over worrying them, without their involvement I would still be here accumulating a viral load and the doctors refusing to see me because my file wasn't properly updated.
Sure, we have skype, phone and email, but it's not the same. But hey, the distance between us is smaller than between the East Coast and West Coast... different proportions I guess.

Betty, how is your dad? I hope he's doing better. And how is work? Seems like your life is so full, even on the weekend you are cleaning and doing things. Me I am so short on energy I consider it an achievement if I clean the sink or something. I am really starting to see in comparison to others how abnormally fatigued I am, and now is actually better than all those years that i was undiagnosed, I just thought it normal to nap 4-5 times a day...

Secret, you know, if you were HIV neagative and asking those questions, I wouldn't know what to tell you. How long do you have to live, what to expect? Do you see where I am going with this, HIV is just another unknown parameter in the big equation of life which is full of unknown parameters, most of which have to do with luck, chance, or genes, or in some cases political descisions [wars etc]. I am not trying to give you a vague philisophical answer here, i really feel that way. No one knows their destiny or that of their loved ones. It's scary but true... This doesn't cancel what other people have said about the much lower rates of death and the effectiveness of the drugs, obviously (and thank God for that).

Sun, I am really thrilled for you on the great guy and the new attitude, but still cautious... I would try not to move to much into emotional attachment before I put disclosure behind me, maybe the key is to do things outside instead of meeting at home? I don't know... just much easier to become stronly intimate at home (I don't mean sex). I know you need this intimacy, we all do, but I would be careful. Just looking out for you...

Queen, I don't have a problems with shy guys, I have a much bigger problem with arrogant p****s (unless it's on the social anxiety level). I think what matters in a guy is how good he is inside, shy people just take longer to show that and they might be just as kind & funny & good in bed as flashy outgoing guys, probably better... seriously I don't see a problem. A lot of people are shy in the beginning, that's all it means, that they are shy in the beginning. And if he's shy, that means he likes you... I'm going to hazard a guess here and risk pissing you off, that you actually quite like this guy (since you mentioned him to Cindy before), and he's kinda your taste, but you have to find something wrong with him (and who doesn't have something wrong with them) to protect your fragile heart. There, I said it, now you can throw a shoe at me, wait just let me duck... so yay, i'm really happy for you that he's coming over. Now what to do with him, I trust you will figure that out as you go along...

Finally Cind, I am hoping that you will resolve this GM thing, i don't understand why they take so long, but these things sometimes do, the wheels move slowly or whatever, i really hope so. I hope you feel better too, get some fumes for the nose/chest (as it water fumes). I wish I could fix it, and would someone please fix my issues b/c it's so much easier giving advice to friends than doing something about your own hangups?

I wonder how Cristy is doing? I know she was taking time off, I just hope everything is OK. I also haven't heard from Tendai in a while. Her I am really worried about.

Love to all,

"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Thread Part VIII: Brain-dead, Blusey and Befuddled
« Reply #101 on: October 24, 2007, 02:13:48 AM »
Sick as a dog today, holding my rib when I move and cough.  Pissed that Moffie has been banned but I don't know the entire story. 
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!


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Re: Dating Thread Part VIII: Brain-dead, Blusey and Befuddled
« Reply #102 on: October 24, 2007, 03:15:38 AM »
Hie Just checking in . Drag  we had no power for a week at work and i never had time to go to an internet cafe, otherwise i'm ok.
ML i hope u feel better soon. but  dont u think u should check into a hospital or at least see your doctor, it could be serious

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Dating Thread Part VIII: Brain-dead, Blusey and Befuddled
« Reply #103 on: October 24, 2007, 04:11:40 AM »
Hi Tendai, great to hear from you. No power for a week... bloody hell.

Cind, Im so sorry you are sick and worse. please see a doctor. Take care of yourself.

lots of love,
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline BT65

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Re: Dating Thread Part VIII: Brain-dead, Blusey and Befuddled
« Reply #104 on: October 24, 2007, 05:45:36 AM »
Good morning ladies:

Cin, this has gone on way toooooo long.  You need to see the doc again.  And if he still says "nothing's wrong" then get another opinion.  I don't want to see you, my metal friend, end up with pneumonia.  So please, GET IT CHECKED OUT!   I'm not sure why Daddy Tim was banned, but it's not the first time it happened.

Drag, my father is doing better.  He's just so noncompliant with things he's supposed to do.  Then he expects everyone to rush in to his rescue, when he knows the situation could have been avoided if he had done what he was supposed to do.  I really get a bit resentful of having to do that, but we don't get to pick our families.  I hope you're feeling calmer.  Really, it's not that I have scads of energy.  It's just that I see something that has to be done and I push myself sometimes to do it.  Believe me, by Sunday afternoon, I'm ready to collapse.  And now with my 9-2 schedule, I usually take a nap when I get home from work. 

Tendai, good to hear from you.  Sorry about not having electricity.  I'm glad you're doing alright.  Please fill us in on what you've been doing, etc.

I wonder where Cristy is.  Haven't heard from her in awhile.  My sponsee goes in for a complete hysterectomy next Monday.  I know she's scared.  I told her I would go up there after I got off work.  They told her the surgery would take 3-6 hours.  I'm sure she will be fine.  But please send some positive energy this way Sunday night/Monday morning.

It seems like we need a new thread.  I started this one, it's someone else's turn.  I hope you ladies have a great day.  Today is hump day!
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

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Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Thread Part VIII: Brain-dead, Blusey and Befuddled
« Reply #105 on: October 24, 2007, 02:36:04 PM »
Hi GFs~

Sorry the posts have been few and far between.  Its been a rough week, thinking about Christine being gone.  I have my Minnie Mouse ears right here.  I only wish I could have met her.

I am feeling a little better today, healthwise.  My cough is productive, I can actually blow my nose, lol, and breathe through it, my rib is nowhere as sore as it was Monday night.  I am on a decongestant during the day and doing OK.  I am really holding out for some rain today and tomorrow to see if its the pollen bugging me.  My ID doc checked me out last Tuesday 10/16 and said my throat looked fine, she listenend to my lungs.

I wasn't satisfied and that's when I went to my PCP the same afternoon.  He is very good and very thorough, makes sure I'm up to date on all vaccinations, tells me what bugs are going around, he has been called "Our Little Gift" at the medical office.  He checked my throat, listened to my lungs, took my temp, looked in my ears and nose, nothing to be found.  So, I trust him, and I know I can call one of the nurses if I need more help right away.  Being diabetic, things have always taken longer to go away with me.

Thanks for your concern, I appreciate it and will keep you informed.

I haven't spoken with Stone since 10/4, he emailed me on 10/9, and I replied on 10/14.  I think I'll have to close the book on this one.  It just feels strange, like I need some closure or something, but what can I do if the guy doesn't want to respond?  I guess I've done all I can, just wished I knew it was really "Goodbye" at the time, so I could have said so, said goodbye.  :(  I pissed him off, its a long story, but I'll miss him, getting too sentimental now.  Shit.   :'(

On a lighter note, I called the job near my house today, which I interviewed for on 10/10 and 10/11.  I checked in last Tuesday 10/16, and then called again today.  Turns out the owner and GM still haven't had time to compare notes bec the owner has had a family crisis since the day I interviewed.  His father is ill, so I understand.  I told the GM I would check back next week if that was OK, since they are swamped.  The lady who answered the phone today sounds like a temp receptionist, she couldn't even get the name of the company right after 3 tries.  Its good she answered....something tells me they have already fired the former bookkeeper, as the GM was doing most of her work anyway.

So, I am off to Walmart to get some medicine and groceries.  I hope everyone is OK.  I'm wondering about Cristy, too.  Check in GF.

~ Cindy
« Last Edit: October 24, 2007, 05:20:57 PM by MOONLIGHT1114 »
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: Dating Thread Part VIII: Brain-dead, Blusey and Befuddled
« Reply #106 on: October 24, 2007, 05:04:58 PM »
I have always hated rain.  I fear I'll have a leak in my roof, and that the tree will lose its leaves and clog my gutters even more.

But!  Its been about 30 minutes here, and due to being under the weather with what appears to be allergies........

I can't help but be......................  :D

HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Dating Thread Part VIII: Brain-dead, Blusey and Befuddled
« Reply #107 on: October 24, 2007, 06:38:45 PM »
Hi Ladies---

I think it is time for somebody to start another dating thread since we have reached the 100 posts mark. I don't know who is up for that one. Somebody surprise me... :D I did give the gas company a call about not getting a gas bill and they said they mailed one out but of course I had to ask what it was on the phone. After doing the math and reading the meter back to them, it seems to be on point so I am not complaining.

Now Dragonette, why would I want to throw a shoe at you girl? I said I needed advice and I got just that. I will put the advice to work when Rico comes over on Friday. I will let you know how it goes. I am just not use to shy guys but it will be a change of pace for me.

I have been kinda quiet because it seems that emotions have been running kinda rampant lately due to Christine's passing and Moffie getting banned. I have been trying to just keep it light, ya know. I will be working with WantChange who posted on the women's forums and giving her my story to help her out with her paper for school. I am looking forward to it and it just doesn't help her but it helps me too. I am trying to take those baby steps on being more vocal about HIV and me. I gotta start somewhere.

I have noticed that a few ladies have been silent lately and hopes to hear from them on here. I chalk it up to them having a life and doing things. But it would be nice to hear from them soon...Cammie...Christy...Em...Dorjus and that is just to name a few.

Cindy, well girl as far as Stone goes, it's his loss, not yours. Keep on keeping on. The same goes for the job thing and I hope you are feeling better soon.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
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01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
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Offline aserenityseeker

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Re: Dating Thread Part VIII: Brain-dead, Blusey and Befuddled
« Reply #108 on: October 27, 2007, 02:46:53 AM »
Hi Ladies, I hope you remember me as I have not been online for a little over a week or so. Fires overwhelmed me..my biggest fear of sorts. Living here in Ventura county(Simi Valley) you l=kinda get used to them but from having so many they just get me..even when its just soot and smoke no flames they still make me sick to my stomach and set off my allergies. I prayed so much for the fire victims and the animals as well. :'(

Betty: I totally understand your anger issues with your dad not doing what he is suppost to do and making things worse. I to have a dad who does the same thing, he had had over 6 surgeries between last Nov to current and another one scheduled for next Tuesday. He has had two different amputations on right leg which is pretty much gone now. Femoral artery is blocked again so they will do angioplasty again Tuesday.He clots up and blood gets like sludge so he may loose left leg if they cant fix this now. I had so much anger but had to really talk with my sponsor and GOD and vent my anger and then let it go as dad does not care and wont change and the anger is so dangerous for me..very toxic and could really hurt me if I had held on to it. It comes back at times but that's normal. I just have to be there to help and support my mom and help dad the best I can as he is my dad. Thank GOD I work a program and my sponsor taught me:
Just because I think something does not give me the right to say it.

Dad should be soooo glad :o as well as I really could be evil with words. Thank god for medications as well hahahahahaha :P

I missed reading the post from you ladies. Look forward to reading daily again.

Oh leaving for Vegas next Sunday so cant wait..just me and the open road, good music on the way and then fun and relaxation for two days. who knows I may meet some nice people there as well. ;D

Bye for now. Dawn
Positive since: 1993
T-cells: 543
Viral load: Undetectable
Meds: Truvada & Kaletra

Positive, Alive and Seeking Serenity :)

Offline Dragonette

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Re: Dating Thread Part VIII: Brain-dead, Blusey and Befuddled
« Reply #109 on: October 27, 2007, 05:06:48 AM »
Hi Dawn

Nice to see you back. I am so sorry you had to go thru that fire shit. I would be majorly freaked out as well.

You posted on an older thread so check out the newer dating thread.

I worry about my parents all the time too and about being far away from them, that is the #1 thing I feel guilty about. it's something I try not to think about b/c it scares the crap out of me. Give me fire any day and not having to deal with that... You are there and helping that's already all you can do.
Stay strong and keep venting if that helps...
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy


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