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Author Topic: Newly singled gay man and super duper scared  (Read 2282 times)

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Offline canupleasehelp

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Newly singled gay man and super duper scared
« on: October 09, 2007, 11:01:37 PM »
After 15 years with my partner, we broke up about 5 months ago.  Now I am getting back into the dating world.  While I know the major ways of contracting HIV I am scared about the following areas that seem to land in the gray area:

()  I have made out with a few guys.  I have a slight case of gingivitis and sometimes I get a cancor sore.  I don't floss or brush my teeth before these situations.  However, I am afraid that because I have this condition that if the other person has blood in their saliva I would be exposed.

() With two of these guys, they performed oral sex on me for  4 -5 seconds.  I stopped because I was nervous and not ready to take that step.  So, I am afraid that my urethra may have been exposed to blood from their saliva if they had a sore or gum problems, etc.

() I was just with a guy and we mutually masturbated and on one finger I had a small red dot where there was a former hangnail.  On another finger I had a slightly red cuticle.  I am sure he was wet during this time and I sued massage oil on and off and I am sure his wetness on my hand.  I put some lemon juice on the areas and they stung mildly which makes me think that if he had hiv in his precum he could have infected me.  Unfortunately, I then put one finger in my mouth to stop the stinging.  Now, I am worried that my imperfect fingers and then placing one of my fingers in my mouth has put me at risk.

() All the guys said they tested regularly and were negative but I assume they are positive to be the safest. 

I feel scared and am looking for some supportive honest feedback about my risks.

Thanks in advance.  It really is terrifying being on my own now.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Newly singled gay man and super duper scared
« Reply #1 on: October 09, 2007, 11:15:00 PM »

None of the things you refer to are a risk in terms of HIV transmission. None of them. For the record, saliva contains substances which inhibit HIV and so saliva is not considered infectious, even if there are traces of blood in it.

Please take the time to read our Welcome Thread and follow the links to our Lessons to learn more about how HIV is and is not transmitted.



Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Newly singled gay man and super duper scared
« Reply #2 on: October 10, 2007, 08:37:09 AM »
It is quite a change in life to be back in the dating world after a long monogamous relationship.

The essential thing you have to keep in mind is if and when you get around to having intercourse, the insertive partner must always be wearing a latex condom. Unprotected intercourse is THE real risk in terms of HIV transmission sexually. All of the other things you are worrying about are strictly theoretical as far as risk is concerned. In the real world of HIV infection doesn't happen that way. For instance, getting a blowjob is one of the most common sexual activities. In the entire history of the epidemic there's never been a documented case of transmission in that manner so it's safe to say you won't make history by becoming the first. No, not even if Dracula is sucking you.

I would just further suggest you go at your own pace in getting adjusted to the bachelor life again. And keep those condoms handy just in case.

Andy Velez


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