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Author Topic: should I continue worrying?(oral sex)  (Read 2828 times)

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Offline Max00

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should I continue worrying?(oral sex)
« on: September 23, 2007, 08:53:30 PM »
Hey all, seems like a lovely site.

Before I start typing the actual post, lemme just say I always over analyze situations and have a self conscious problem.

I always perform sexual activities when in a relationship where I know the STD status of my girl, but this time it was a bit different.  Early July, I was at a party and heavily drinking, I had gotten with this girl that I had known briefly known prior to this incident. I had performed oral sex on her, and fingered her for about 3-4 strokes. It was overall a very short experience since I remember vomiting on the bed right next to her lol. I didn't have any cuts on my fingers and the last time I remember a cut in my mouth was when I had braces in 7th grade lol, which 8 years ago.

 I hadnt worried until I started showing flu like symptoms 4 weeks later, that may have been tied to the fact that I was on vacation in Russia where the water quality/food is different. Then I started to look into the chances of getting HIV by performing oral sex and the websites showed mixed results, some claimed it was risky while others claimed that it was virtually impossible.
And now again, I've gotten swollen glands and the common cold symptoms, but NO Temperature.

even though I'm 90% that this girl is HIV neg since she is good friends with all my ex girlfriends and overall is a nice girl. It's just that ever since I started heavily researching the virus, the more worried I got, I started noticing the smallest of pains in my body.

Thank you

- Max

Offline RapidRod

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Re: should I continue worrying?(oral sex)
« Reply #1 on: September 23, 2007, 08:55:12 PM »
You were never at risk.

Offline Max00

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Re: should I continue worrying?(oral sex)
« Reply #2 on: September 23, 2007, 09:02:04 PM »
You were never at risk.

I was mostly worrying because I was unclear on how excessive amounts of alchohol affects the mucuos membranes through which the virus can enter the body when performing vaginal oral sex.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: should I continue worrying?(oral sex)
« Reply #3 on: September 23, 2007, 09:03:54 PM »
No matter how drunk you are Max, you cannot contract HIV by going down on a woman.

Please take the time to read our Welcome Thread and follow the links to our Lessons to learn more about how HIV is and is not transmitted.


Offline Andy Velez

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Re: should I continue worrying?(oral sex)
« Reply #4 on: September 24, 2007, 08:50:55 AM »
Max, she could be menstruating a tsunami of HIV+ blood into your mouth and the risk would still be theoretical. And she wasn't even menstruating. The female fluids which would be likely to have HIV IF the woman was positive are in the cervical area, which is not where you would have been fingering/tonguing.

So despite the coincidence of all your symptoms, none of which are in any way HIV specific by the way, this was not a risky incident.

Except for one thing to remember for the future: mixing casual sex and excessive drinking is a very dangerous combination and ought to be avoided. That definitely affects your ability to negotiate safer sex. This time out I don't see any cause for further concern about HIV.

If your symptoms persist that's something to discuss with your doctor. It's not about HIV.

Andy Velez

Offline Ann

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Re: should I continue worrying?(oral sex)
« Reply #5 on: September 24, 2007, 10:59:34 AM »

Along with agreeing with the comments you've already had, there's a couple things I'd like to speak to you about.

I always perform sexual activities when in a relationship where I know the STD status of my girl, but this time it was a bit different.

I'm wondering how you "know" the status of your girlfriends. Because unless you are in a securely monogamous relationship with them and have TESTED negative TOGETHER with them, it's just guesswork.

even though I'm 90% that this girl is HIV neg since she is good friends with all my ex girlfriends and overall is a nice girl.

This is the bit that made me wonder about your first comment. You simply cannot tell a person's status by the company they keep, how healthy they look, how much money they have, or whether or not they are "nice". I'm a nice person, but yet I'm hiv positive and you'd never in a million years know by looking at me.

Now pay close attention, because here comes the important bits:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

While testing over this specific incident is NOT necessary, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Please don't ever assume your sexual partners are hiv negative going by what they tell you or what you THINK you know about their sexual history. Many people don't know their own status, they assume they are hiv negative. The ONLY way to know your status or the status of your partners is by TESTING. Don't guess, test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple.

Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts


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