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Author Topic: Concerned about possible HIV status. Please help!  (Read 4835 times)

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Offline none

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Concerned about possible HIV status. Please help!
« on: September 18, 2007, 04:56:26 PM »
Nice to meet you all, I am a hetero 19 year old from London UK. I have recently started a relationship with a girl who may be showing signs of HIV.
She had an STI test yesterday and came up clear on all counts, but she won't get the HIV results back for one week.
Let me start off by explaining her status & symptoms -
She is 23 years old, and has had unprotected sex with three different people. One was for no longer for a minute, a few years ago, and she stopped and made him put a condom on. The other was her long term boyfriend, who she dated for two and a half years. He tested for STI's and HIV about three months in to their relationship and came up negative. Apparently he had a few unprotected flings in South America and she was concerned. I am the third person she has had unprotected sex with. We have had intercourse roughly ten or so times in the last month, since we started our relationship.

Her symptoms - For about a year or so, she has been feeling generally unwell. Her doctors diagnosed it as IBS. She has had an upset stomach and is apparently allergic to wheat, dairy and sugar, which has been affecting her immune system. Lately she has cut these out of her diet and her stomach condition has improved dramatically.
She has a strange fleshy/white lesion on her tongue. She showed it to her doctor who confirmed that it is not thrush, but said she did not know exactly what it was. She booked an appointment for an oral specialist to check it out next month. It is a slightly raised bump in the centre of the tongue, which appears to be hairless.
She has a sore throat at the moment, with tender glands. I understand this could simply be a common cold, but I thought it would be worth pointing out.
Last week she woke up with a rash on her chest. She said it looked like a rash you would get from stinging nettles. Could be a cause of allergies i guess (also she was on antibiotics for flu like symptoms at the time, which cleared up after she had finished the course). It cleared up the next day.
She also complained of an itchy face?

Are any of these symptoms telltale signs of HIV? I have read so many conflicting reports on the internet, it has gotten to a point where I just had to post and ask someone about it. Like I said, she has taken a test now and it will be a week before we get the results, but I would just like some sort of assurance.

Also, if the test does come back positive, what is the likely hood that I have contracted the virus myself? This prospect quite frankly terrifies me.

Also worth adding,  I had brief feverish symptoms about two weeks after we first had intercourse. It only lasted one evening, and i had a headache the morning after. I understand this could be a manner of different things, but she also contracted it off me the day after and was in bed for about three days, with hot and cold shivers and that was when she was put on the course of antibiotics.

Thanks in advance!

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Concerned about possible HIV status. Please help!
« Reply #1 on: September 18, 2007, 05:06:17 PM »
Neither the presence nor the absence of symptoms will ever tell you your HIV status accurately. The ONLY way to know HIV status reliably is by getting tested at 13 weeks past the most recent unprotected incident. Hopefully your girlfriend will test negative.

It's not absolutely clear from what you have written but it reads to me as if you have been having unprotected intercourse with her. The only time it is safe to do that is when both partners have committed to a securely monogamous relationship and then get tested together to establish both are reliably HIV negative. Otherwise you should always wear a condom for either vaginal or analy intercourse, no matter whom you are with and what you think you know about the person's HIV status.

Good luck with her test result. If her symptoms continue she should discuss them with her doctor.

Andy Velez

Offline none

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Re: Concerned about possible HIV status. Please help!
« Reply #2 on: September 18, 2007, 05:14:12 PM »
Thank you for replying. You are right in assuming that we have had unprotected sex - This is due to the fact we have both had STI tests in the last year which have been negative. To be frank with you (and this may sound very naive of me) but I never thought I had a risk of getting HIV, given the circumstances. It's only since she has had these symptoms it has freaked us both out. Are these symptoms typical of HIV? Two things I forgot to note in the previous post - 1. She is a hypochondriac and worries a lot and 2. She has had something similiar to a UTI in the last few days, which she also went to the doctors about. They apparently said it was not a UTI, despite small amounts of blood being present in the urine.

I understand that you will not be able to accurately diagnose or change what the results will tell us next week, but I am posting out of curiosity and would like to know more about the likelyhood of myself contracting it.

Offline none

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Re: Concerned about possible HIV status. Please help!
« Reply #3 on: September 18, 2007, 06:47:37 PM »
Any more replies would be greatly appreciated.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Concerned about possible HIV status. Please help!
« Reply #4 on: September 18, 2007, 08:10:18 PM »
Andy said it all.

Offline Ann

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Re: Concerned about possible HIV status. Please help!
« Reply #5 on: September 19, 2007, 03:32:44 AM »

I also agree with Andy, but I have one thing to add.

You can't possibly know your hiv status going by someone else's result. If you've ever had unprotected intercourse with anyone besides your current girlfriend, then you also need to test before you and your current start having unprotected intercourse again.

Whether her test comes back positive or negative, it has absolutely NO bearing on your own status. To discover your own status, you MUST test. It's the ONLY way to know.

Until it's been established that BOTH of you are hiv negative, you need to be using condoms.

In future, you need to use condoms with any new sexual partners until you're completely monogamous and have tested together. It's the only way to know for certain that you aren't putting yourself at risk.

Read through the three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts


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