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Author Topic: Angry today  (Read 1476 times)

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Offline traveltramp

  • Member
  • Posts: 40
Angry today
« on: August 30, 2007, 03:40:37 AM »
All I want to do is run away.  I was on a 4 month world tour to find out that I have HIV and I came back to the US only to not want to get into the system.  I have no insurance and it is cheaper for me to get healthcare in 3rd world countries... I want to go back on my trip, why am I here?  I panicked and now I feel stuck and trapped.  I am with a friend and she is cool, but she has her own problems.  I want to tell the person I think infected me, but if I am wrong I will feel like a stupid ass, more stupid than I feel allready.  Ugh!!!!!  I want to get on a plane and get the hell out of here, but I know that will solve nothing except I believe I won't think about it.  A fantasy!  I want to run and run and run from this..  I feel alone and stuck in Denver.  I have no car and just bitchy about my life right now, god.  I would cry if my ice cream was too cold!  I feel like I cant do anything here.  I have not lived in the US for 6 years and don't' feel like I belong here, but I don't feel like I belong anywhere now.  I want to scream!!!!
7/7 CD4 669
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1/9 CD4 909   V/L 550

Offline Dragonette

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  • Posts: 1,190
  • Spring symptoms
    • NotPerfectAtAll
Re: Angry today
« Reply #1 on: August 30, 2007, 08:01:49 AM »
Hey, I know how you feel.

This virus just bursts in and disrupts our lives, whatever we were doing.

No advice here - not from the USA myself

Just a pat on the back - chok dee kah

"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline DCGUY2007

  • Member
  • Posts: 315
Re: Angry today
« Reply #2 on: September 04, 2007, 12:58:50 AM »

I hope you are feeling better today. This hiv situation can definitely be very stressful at times. Maybe taking a walk or reading a book or watching a movie when you feel this frustrated might clear your head if only for a moment.

You are right about running away though. I took a three week trip to Europe somehow thinking things would be different when I got back. I learned a lot but the same problems I was dealing with before the trip are still here. Then again a break away from things does help if only temporarily. I think we all  have to find different ways to deal with the frustrations Hiv brings. Even when we find something that does work it may not work after a while so we just have to keep trying. I'm also realizing every now and then we just have to vent and have our moments too. Wish you the best and really hope you are feeling better today
« Last Edit: September 04, 2007, 01:00:40 AM by DCGUY2007 »


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