Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
November 18, 2017, 09:39:24 AM

Login with username, password and session length

  • Total Members: 31844
  • Latest: bbnyand
  • Total Posts: 722402
  • Total Topics: 58699
  • Online Today: 313
  • Online Ever: 1421
  • (August 13, 2016, 05:18:44 AM)
Users Online
Users: 6
Guests: 289
Total: 295


Welcome to the POZ Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Author Topic: Serodiscordant couples  (Read 1392 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Viritalicus

  • Member
  • Posts: 14
Serodiscordant couples
« on: August 07, 2007, 12:49:08 PM »
How to cope with a serodiscordand partner? I have been married for 17 years and we have both been open in the relationship.
Since I became positive though I have been avoiding sex with my husband and I am resisting his pressure since I do not want infect him accidentally...

Offline Carolann

  • Member
  • Posts: 233
Re: Serodiscordant couples
« Reply #1 on: August 07, 2007, 01:51:19 PM »

Since you now know your status, it would be very difficult to infect him if you play safer. He is safer now than when you did not know your status, if you want to look at it that way. Look at the links Ann provides on the proper use of condoms. Unless he is insisting on unprotected sex, or does not know that your status has changed, I really do not see any reason why you cannot have a fulfilling sex life with him. I mean unless the guy bores you and you are no longer interested in him, which I do not think is the case. Are there other issues at play here? Guilt? Lower self esteem? It is very hard to know exactly what the issue is here. I hope you can talk to him openly about this, as this would be a start, to feeling better about the sex.


Online leatherman

  • Member
  • Posts: 7,287
  • Google and HIV meds are Your Friends
Re: Serodiscordant couples
« Reply #2 on: August 07, 2007, 01:57:16 PM »
The hardest part of coping in my +/- relationship was getting over my own mental block. God knows this is a miserable disease and I've already lost my first partner (10 yrs) to it. The LAST thing I'd ever want to do is pass this to my current partner (4 yrs). It sounds like you understand this fear. I actually went w/o sex for about six yrs. because of this fear. But, unlike the early days, it's known how HIV is transmitted now, and there are safe sex practices you can take to avoid infecting your partner.

Long before we hit the bedroom, I sat him down and told him of my fears. I wanted him to understand that if I ever ran away screaming in the middle of it, that it didn't have anything to do with him. LOL It still nags me in the back of my mind sometimes while we're doing it; but we take precautions and ALWAYS have safe sex. The little bit of anxiety I STILL have keeps me alert, so we don't do anything that might put him at risk.

check out this POZ article for some safe sex guidlines http://www.poz.com/articles/321_2049.shtml

Best wishes to you and your hubby! I sure hope that y'all can work through this and get back to having a more robust relationship with all the fringe benefits. ;)
leatherman (aka mIkIE)

All the stars are flashing high above the sea
and the party is on fire around you and me
We're gonna burn this disco down before the morning comes
- Pet Shop Boys

chart from 1992-2015

Offline DCGUY2007

  • Member
  • Posts: 315
Re: Serodiscordant couples
« Reply #3 on: August 10, 2007, 04:57:51 AM »
congratulations for being married 17 years. Tha's great! I have been in a relationship where we were both poz and two relationship where it was serodiscordant. I have found people react differently to this knowledge. some are totally care free even though they are negative and some are totally scared. I think discussing your concerns with your partner as everyone else has mentioned is the best thing to do. There are also a few sites on the internet that deal with serodiscordant couples. I have found them to be very helpful. Life is short no matter what ones status is. Discuss this issue with your partner and get back to having fun  ::)
« Last Edit: August 10, 2007, 04:59:47 AM by DCGUY2007 »


Terms of Membership for these forums

© 2017 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.