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Author Topic: Does life go on?  (Read 3294 times)

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Offline vivyt

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  • Posts: 565
Does life go on?
« on: July 25, 2007, 06:59:15 PM »
I was diagnosed about 2 months ago and have been taking meds and all that. After coming to terms with it all, I am beginning to wonder how do I live with it? Only my immediate family knows and I have chosen not to tell anyone else. I feel like I have a HUGE secret and don't know how to interact with others, especially those who knew I was sick but not from what. Also, I think about future marriage and children. How does all this work? Any advice would help.

Offline Bucko

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Re: Does life go on?
« Reply #1 on: July 25, 2007, 07:17:29 PM »

Welcome to AIDSmeds. I'm sure you'll find lots of information and support here.

Simply put, yeah...life goes on. Give yourself time, don't push anything. But starting from the day of your diagnosis, things everything is different. How much of a problem this represents for you in your life depends on your luck (good tolerance of meds, etc) and attitude (pragmatically hopeful works best for me).

See you around-

(Who isn't his strongest with the newly infected)
Blessed with brains, talent and gorgeous tits.

The revolutionary smart set reads The Spin Cycle at least once every day.

Blathering on AIDSmeds since 2005, provocative from birth

Offline aztecan

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  • 32 years positive, 60 years a pain in the butt
Re: Does life go on?
« Reply #2 on: July 25, 2007, 09:16:24 PM »
Hey Vivyt,

You are still very new to all of this. Don't be so hard on yourself. The first year is like an emotional rollercoaster. Let's face it, you have had a life-altering experience, its going to take time for you to get used to living with it.

I can tell you life does go on. I have lived with the bug for 22 years now. Has it changed my life? You bet! But it didn't destroy my life. I went on to finish my degree, work in a field I loved, change careers, found a new job I love, bought a home, made friends (lost a few too).

As for getting married, having children, etc., why not? The having children part takes a bit more planning and care, but I personally know six women who have given birth after becoming positive and all six have given birth to negative babies. There are medical issues to face, but they are not insurmountable.

As you become more comfortable with yourself and with the bug, you will find the only thing that will dictate how and what you accomplish will be your desire to do that thing.

So, take a deep breath, try to be kind to yourself and start reading the lessons here. They are chock full of good information. But don't be afraid to ask questions here as well. Someone will undoubtedly be able to help.

I'm glad you found us and look forward to hearing more from you.


"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline emeraldize

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Re: Does life go on?
« Reply #3 on: July 25, 2007, 11:02:36 PM »

Welcome. I remember the first two months quite clearly. As Mark and Brent have offered, try not to be hard on yourself. In fact, take special care of yourself--sleeping, eating, socializing, etc.

I encourage you to look at the Positive Women forum to get a feel for the types of topics we toss around. Please post any questions you have---there's a diverse group of women who are interested, interesting and eager to reach out.


Offline sdcabincrew74

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Re: Does life go on?
« Reply #4 on: July 25, 2007, 11:48:13 PM »
It took me about a year.  Now, well, I really do not think about it except around dinner time when I need to take my pills.  Also, sex seems to make me think about it too, the whole disclosure thing and such.  It will get better, I promise.
The difference between an overnight and a layover is luck!

Offline xyahka

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Re: Does life go on?
« Reply #5 on: July 26, 2007, 12:27:54 AM »
I agree with everybody and i would say... how do i live with this? instinctivelly....

Human being was made with several (and useful) defence features... such a adaptability and survival instinct. Same like baby gets addapted to a new world after being delivered by his mother.... you will slowly get used to live with the virus. We all have coped with it in different ways, and the only discovered them while facing the virus... going out, meeting old and new friends... reading about it... only facing it is how you will learn to deal with it.

Welcome to the forums, hope to hear more from you.


Juan Carlos
13/03/07 1er diagnóstico /Peso: 79kg
19/04/07 CD4: 494 /CViral: ?? /Peso: 80kg
19/07/07 CD4: 659 /CViral: ?? /Peso: 79.5kg
06/03/08 CD4: 573 (después de meses muy deprimido) /CViral: ?? /Peso: 79kg
17/09/08 CD4: ?? /CViral: ?? /Peso: 84Kg
06/02/09 CD4: ?? /CViral: ?? /Peso: 85Kg /HCV: Neg /HBV: Neg.
07/03/09 CD4: ?? /CViral: ?? /Peso: 87Kg / Gym 3días/semana y Natación 2días/semana.
12/05/09 CD4: 470 /Cviral: ?? /Peso: 87Kg.
08/07/09 CD4: ? /CViral: ? /Peso: 77Kg.
09/12/09 CD4: 510 /CViral: ? /Peso: 78kg. No medicinas aún
10/01/10 CD4: ? /CViral: ? /Peso: 76Kg.
15/05/10 CD4: 320 /CViral: ? /Peso: 76Kg.
01/02/11 CD4: 291 /CViral: ? /Peso: 78kg.
05/05/11 CD4: 366 /CViral: ? /Peso: 78kg.
27/07/11 CD4: 255 /CViral: 138000 /Peso: 78kg.

Disfrutando y aceptando una nueva vida...

Offline StrongGuy

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Re: Does life go on?
« Reply #6 on: July 26, 2007, 01:47:00 AM »
Life can definitely go on but sometimes the whole overwhelming feeling that comes with a new diagnosis makes it seem out of grasps. It takes time for many of us -- especially after a diagnosis -- but my bet is with time you'll slowly get more comfortable and you'll realize you can love and date and, if it's whatyou really want, eventually marry and have kids. As long as you keep on top of your health, IMHO, life can go on and can be whatever you choose to make of it!

Best of luck and welcome!
"Get your medical advice from Doctors or medical professionals who you trust and know your history."

"Beware of the fortune teller doom and gloomers who seek to bring you down and are only looking for company, purpose and validation - not your best physical/mental interests."

"You know you all are saying that this is incurable. When the real thing you should be saying is it's not curable at the present time' because as we know, the great strides we've made in medicine." - Elizabeth Edwards

Offline DanielMark

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Re: Does life go on?
« Reply #7 on: July 26, 2007, 04:20:32 AM »
Welcome Vivyt,

Give yourself time to adjust to this news. Some things will change, but in time you will learn how to live with this unwanted houseguest.

Be patient with you.




Offline ndrew

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Re: Does life go on?
« Reply #8 on: July 26, 2007, 05:23:59 AM »
Hello there,

Wow, you have done a lot in two months!  It is taking me years to cope with this and I still haven't told my family!

But life does go on and I am enjoying it more than I ever have before.

Taking care...


Offline vivyt

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Re: Does life go on?
« Reply #9 on: July 26, 2007, 01:36:24 PM »
Thank you to all the good advice. It is nice to find such positive people who are coping. Thank you again.


Offline Sky

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Re: Does life go on?
« Reply #10 on: July 26, 2007, 02:50:16 PM »
Hello there,

Wow, you have done a lot in two months!  It is taking me years to cope with this and I still haven't told my family!

But life does go on and I am enjoying it more than I ever have before.

Taking care...

I haven't told my family either Drew.  I'm in good health, not on meds, and doing really well so my Dr. and I decided it was best not to at this point.  There is no point in making them stressed out, upset, depressed, or worried if I'm ok.  Not to mention the fact that all of their concerns would add undue stress to my life, which isn't healthy.  If the time comes that I feel like my health is starting to deteriorate I'll consider it.
Poz since 2003.

Offline cokaine

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  • Posts: 42
Re: Does life go on?
« Reply #11 on: July 26, 2007, 02:57:41 PM »
Hey sweetie

I've known of my status for over a year now and i remember how hard it was the first 6 months after being diagnosed with AIDS. Those months were VERY stressful and I felt like a zombie not knowing where I was or what I wanted to do, not to mention how awful and lonely I felt on weekends locked up in my apartment thinking about 1000 things per minute. I was very hard on myself and tried to blame things on everyone except myself and started fights with anyone who came across me, i became a MONSTER, someone I totally was not. Little by little I came to terms and found wonderful people and information that basically told me that the chances of me dying anytime soon was very small and the medication currently available was working to control the virus. I tried to emphasize my thoughts on spoiling myself with good meals, getting in touch with old friends, comedy movies, travelling and work to keep my mind busy from thinking of the virus but I must admit it was hard at times especially when you one is watching tv and there is a tv news report with the title including "deadly disease: HIV/AIDS". Things will get better, i suggest you take some time to spoil yourself with things that make you happy.
« Last Edit: July 26, 2007, 02:59:42 PM by cokaine »

Offline Christine

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Re: Does life go on?
« Reply #12 on: July 26, 2007, 05:03:21 PM »
Hello & Welcome!

Yes, life goes on. Different from before, but it still goes on. For me, the first couple of years were very difficult emotionally. Looking back, I should have been in therapy.

Every single person in life has sh*t they have to deal with. The important thing is how well you live your life. Find what you love doing. Surround yourself with people who love and support you. Take the best care of yourself that you can; physically, emotionally, spiritually.  Accept that your life has changed, but keep moving forward.

Poz since '93. Currently on Procrit, Azithromax, Pentamidine, Valcyte, Levothyroxine, Zoloft, Epzicom, Prezista, Viread, Norvir, and GS-9137 study drug. As needed: Trazodone, Atavan, Diflucan, Zofran, Hydrocodone, Octreotide

5/30/07 t-cells 9; vl 275,000

Offline pozattitude

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Re: Does life go on?
« Reply #13 on: July 26, 2007, 05:49:57 PM »
welcome to the forum viv,

yes life goes on.  we all have our good days and some bad days, but like Christine said,

Every single person in life has sh*t they have to deal with.

everything is so overwhelming at first, it may take some time before it all sinks in and as time goes by you will begin to feel comfortable in your own skin again.
as far as who to tell, you only have to tell to those you want to. it is nobody's business but your own and whomever you become intimate.
I wish you the best in this journey .

POSITIVE PEDALERS... We are a group of people living with HIV/AIDS, eliminating stigma through our positive public example.

Offline englishgirl

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Re: Does life go on?
« Reply #14 on: July 26, 2007, 07:12:12 PM »
the people who have posted already have said all i'd really want to say. all i can add is to assure you that as a fellow pozzie i have a wonderful life and im glad to be me. my hope for you is that soon you will feel the same.

you are at a really new and raw stage; the acceptance of your new being will come with time. at the moment my advice to you is to accept all positive influences and support and to just go with the flow. it takes time to make something as big as this part of your life, and you have to find your own way to a certain degree. the best thing you can do is talk and express your thoughts and feelings, and here youre in the right place to do that. 

im glad you found us and i wish you all the best, please continue to post your thoughts and feelings

additionally, if you live somewhere where support groups etc exist, i urge you to try them. there is something really good about being sat in a room of other poz people, even if your situation is different

best wishes


"I'm not keen on the idea of the afterlife - not without knowing who else will be there and what the entertainment will be. Personally I'd rather just take a rest." Oscar Berger, PWA: Looking AIDS in the Face, 1996. RIP.

Offline Life

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Re: Does life go on?
« Reply #15 on: July 26, 2007, 08:14:34 PM »
Does life go on??  Nope it came to a hault for a bit.  Almost like a stoplight.   But,  the greenlight came on and off we go again...  Just takes some time to figure shit out I am afraid..   But you will go on only if you want it to...


Offline BT65

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Re: Does life go on?
« Reply #16 on: July 26, 2007, 08:26:31 PM »
Mark says everything I would say to you, Viv.  Welcome to the forums!  There are lots of wonderful people on here. 
  Life does go on.  You just have to give yourself time to become comfortable yourself with the diagnosis.  It will take awhile.  But then, like people have said, it's up to you what you accomplish.  I've had this for 18 years (possibly 19) and I'm completing a degree in psychology and am so glad to be doing it!  Please use these forums and good luck.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

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