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Author Topic: newbie here  (Read 5464 times)

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Offline treeboy77

  • Member
  • Posts: 3
newbie here
« on: July 12, 2007, 04:10:50 AM »
Hi folks-

My name is Sean and I am a 30 yr old gay male.  I have been browsing around this site for a couple weeks now.  I thank the God's for it. 

I tested positive back in March.  I had a partner of 4 years that I loved and thought loved me.  turns out he was sleeping around, so he brought hiv home to me.
I haven't really had anyone that I can talk to about it that really "knows" what it's like to be dealing with this.
when I am doing well I am doing well.  when I am doing badly, I am doing really badly.  it's a rollercoaster of feelings.

I just get so scared sometimes.  ya know?

thank you for all being out there.  i really appreciate it.

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,265
  • Ninja Please
Re: newbie here
« Reply #1 on: July 12, 2007, 04:15:43 AM »
Hey Sean,

Welcome to the Forums, honey. :-*


Offline DanielMark

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,475
Re: newbie here
« Reply #2 on: July 12, 2007, 04:23:38 AM »
Welcome Sean,

Sorry to learn how you got here, but there are lots of good folks to be found on these forums so no need to feel alone anymore.




Offline mjmel

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,069
Re: newbie here
« Reply #3 on: July 12, 2007, 05:47:21 AM »
Welcome to the forum, Sean. Glad you found the comfort zone to join the forum.

Offline scud44

  • Member
  • Posts: 393
  • I am watching you
Re: newbie here
« Reply #4 on: July 12, 2007, 06:03:20 AM »
Hi Sean,
Welcome to the forums - you will find that the members here are always a friendly lot and when you need hugs, thats what you will get and if you need advice, your questions will be answered and if you need a smile - there are plenty of those around here too!

CD4 = 110 - 30 July 2007 - 10%
VL = 139000 - 30 July 2007
CD4 = 252 - 6th August 2007
VL = 16400 - 23rd August 2007
CD4 = 240 - 23rd August 2007
VL = 400 4th Sept 2007
CD4 = 96 - 4th Sept 2007
CD4 = 120 18th Sept 2007
VL = 386000 19th Nov 2007
CD4 = 160 19th Nov 2007
CD4 = 110 10th Jan 2008
CD4 = 311 29th Jan 2008
VL = <50 29th Jan 2008
CD4 = 148 2nd April 2008
VL = 110,000 2nd April 2008
June 2010 and nothing has improved

Offline jordan

  • Member
  • Posts: 239
  • What I want is a celebration
Re: newbie here
« Reply #5 on: July 12, 2007, 06:20:39 AM »

Hi Sean:

Welcome.  I was diagnosed back  in February of 2006.  I became undetectable shortly after starting my HAART regimen.

The first six months were really tough for me also, but the good news is that I feel 'normal' now and living better than I have before.

My ex was also doing things behind my back and chances and although the doctors can not say how or when, I have a feeling that is how I was infected.  I can't change the past, all I can do is move forward and live each day with joy.


If you think your lonely now, wait until tonight.

Offline ndrew

  • Member
  • Posts: 695
  • ....-.-.-.-.-.....
Re: newbie here
« Reply #6 on: July 12, 2007, 06:39:11 AM »
Hi and welcome!

Been three years for me, life is good, but I still get scared as well.  But it sure has helped me with my sinister plot to get what I want out of life, heh, heh, heh!


Offline Longislander

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,489
Re: newbie here
« Reply #7 on: July 12, 2007, 08:42:04 AM »
Hi Sean, glad you found the place~ Sorry about what's happened. This place saved my sanity a year and a half ago, and I know the people here will help you deal as well. Don't be afraid to post your feelings, rant, etc.

infected 10/05 diagnosed 12-05
2/06   379/57000                    6/07 372/30500 25%   4/09 640/U/32% 
5/06   ?? /37000                     8/07 491/55000/24%    9/09 913/U/39%
8/06   349/9500 25%              11/07 515/68000/24     2/10 845/U/38%
9/06   507/16,000 30% !          2/08  516/116k/22%    7/10 906/80/39%
12/06 398/29000 26%             Start Atripla 3/08
3/07   402/80,000 29%            4/08  485/undet!/27
4/07   507/35,000 25%            7/08 625/UD/34%
                                                 11/08 684/U/36%

Offline Florida69

  • Member
  • Posts: 428
Re: newbie here
« Reply #8 on: July 12, 2007, 09:33:59 AM »
Hey guy, I am glad you found a safe place for support.  I found out I was positive in January 2006, a year and half later and I am doing well.  I was lucky enough to find support on the internet and have made some wonderful friends that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.  I know when I found out I was up and down just like you are describing, some days are better then others.  As time moves along, so to will the bad days. I live life as before, although I have to be a lot more frugal with money to afford the costs of meds.  I have learned from reading the HIV forums that if there is a will there is a way, there is much inspiration to be found amoung these great people.  Again, welcome.  D
Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'Press On' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.
Calvin Coolidge

Offline MoltenStorm

  • Member
  • Posts: 477
  • Poz & Fabulous
Re: newbie here
« Reply #9 on: July 12, 2007, 10:15:45 AM »
Happy to have you - though the price for admission is a bit of a steep one.

I've been poz since July 2005, and I know well those rollercoasters of emotions. It does get better. Time has a way of working that out.
« Last Edit: July 12, 2007, 10:28:29 AM by MoltenStorm »
"Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful nor conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people's sins, but delights in the truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes." - 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, adaptation in A Walk To Remember

CD4: 555 / 29% / Undetectable - 7 Nov 2006
CD4: 555 / 29% / Undetectable - 5 Feb 2007

Offline penguin

  • Member
  • Posts: 747
  • The Penguin Whisperer
Re: newbie here
« Reply #10 on: July 12, 2007, 10:49:45 AM »
welcome, sean  :) - kate

Dan J.

  • Guest
Re: newbie here
« Reply #11 on: July 12, 2007, 10:59:37 AM »
Hi Sean,

Welcome to our little corner of the web.


Dan J.

Offline pozattitude

  • Member
  • Posts: 909
  • Enjoy
    • to find out more about me....
Re: newbie here
« Reply #12 on: July 12, 2007, 11:32:06 AM »
Hi Sean,
I'm sorry about your recent diagnosis.  I know how hard it is to go through what you are experiencing right now and I wish you all the strength to get through the initial shock of it all.
When I first tested POZ what really upset me was the fact that this is how I found out my BF was cheating on me.  It wasn't the HIV that hurt the most.
Focus on yourself now and try to keep a positive attitude (no pun intended)
We here for each other.

POSITIVE PEDALERS... We are a group of people living with HIV/AIDS, eliminating stigma through our positive public example.

Offline Bucko

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,947
  • You need a shine, missy!
    • The Spin Cycle
Re: newbie here
« Reply #13 on: July 12, 2007, 12:16:22 PM »
Hey Sean-

Trust AIDSmeds to help with information and support. It's a really great group of folks around here.

(Who always feels bittersweet about the newbies)
Blessed with brains, talent and gorgeous tits.

The revolutionary smart set reads The Spin Cycle at least once every day.

Blathering on AIDSmeds since 2005, provocative from birth

Offline PeteNYNJ

  • Member
  • Posts: 979
  • When life gives you AIDS...make LemonAIDS!
    • Dance for Me, Puppets
Re: newbie here
« Reply #14 on: July 12, 2007, 12:29:16 PM »
Hi Sean

Was the same age when I was diagnosed.  That was 2 years ago and, knock wood, still doing well.  It will get easier to deal with in time so try not to stress out too much.  This is a great site to ease your fears and get all the info.

Do you have a good doctor?  Have you found out your numbers?

Sorry about your BF - people can be real shits sometimes.


Offline guynsotulsa

  • Member
  • Posts: 22
  • poz since Jan 2007
Re: newbie here
« Reply #15 on: July 12, 2007, 12:56:32 PM »
Hey Sean..

I to am sorry to hear about you recent news... But am glad you found this site early! It has helped me and so many ways.... Hang in there bud... I am only 6 months in the club but it is starting to get better every day I think about it less and less...

Jason R ;)
If its to be??? Its up to me!!!

Offline David_CA

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,246
  • Joined: March 2006
Re: newbie here
« Reply #16 on: July 12, 2007, 01:00:53 PM »
Hi Sean,

It's good you found this place; it sure has helped me a lot.  I was diagnosed in March '06, so I still consider myself fairly new to this all.  You're right; the emotions can really be a rollercoaster.  At this point, I think I'm heading back 'up' again, but who knows; it can be a bit overwhelming at times.  This nasty virus still scares the crap out of me; I don't know when / if that'll change.  Finding out as much as I can about it, how others deal with it, and just talking about it with others has helped me a lot.  I think you've found a great group of people here.  Check the 'AM Gatherings' link on the left side of the page.  If you're able to attend, you'll meet a lot of us in person this September in San Francisco!  Take care.

Black Friday 03-03-2006
03-23-06 CD4 359 @27.4% VL 75,938
06-01-06 CD4 462 @24.3% VL > 100,000
08-15-06 CD4 388 @22.8% VL >  "
10-21-06 CD4 285 @21.9% VL >  "
  Atripla started 12-01-2006
01-08-07 CD4 429 @26.8% VL 1872!
05-08-07 CD4 478 @28.1% VL 740
08-03-07 CD4 509 @31.8% VL 370
11-06-07 CD4 570 @30.0% VL 140
02-21-08 CD4 648 @32.4% VL 600
05-19-08 CD4 695 @33.1% VL < 48 undetectable!
08-21-08 CD4 725 @34.5%
11-11-08 CD4 672 @39.5%
02-11-09 CD4 773 @36.8%
05-11-09 CD4 615 @36.2%
08-19-09 CD4 770 @38.5%
11-19-09 CD4 944 @33.7%
02-17-10 CD4 678 @39.9%  
06-03-10 CD4 768 @34.9%
09-21-10 CD4 685 @40.3%
01-10-11 CD4 908 @36.3%
05-23-11 CD4 846 @36.8% VL 80
02-13-12 CD4 911 @41.4% VL<20
You must be the change you want to see in the world.  Mahatma Gandhi

Offline Jeffreyj

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,403
Re: newbie here
« Reply #17 on: July 12, 2007, 09:21:40 PM »
Hi Sean,
Welcome to the forums.  Thanks for the introduction. Look forward to getting to know you better. We are all in this together!
Positive since 1985

Offline BT65

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 10,785
Re: newbie here
« Reply #18 on: July 12, 2007, 09:30:00 PM »
Hey Sean:
  Welcome.  I'm glad you decided to "join" us.  You'll find a lot of support here.  The people are just great.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Condom and Lube Info http://www.aidsmap.com/Condoms/page/1044833/
Please check out our lessons on PEP and PrEP. http://www.poz.com/factsheets/fs_2014_09_prep.pdf


Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,517
  • 32 years positive, 60 years a pain in the butt
Re: newbie here
« Reply #19 on: July 13, 2007, 12:03:28 AM »
Hey Sean,

I understand the "rollercoaster" you are living on very well. I think we all do, because we have been on the same ride.

I am very glad you found us and hope you make yourself at home. I look forward to getting to know you better.


"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline StrongGuy

  • Member
  • Posts: 492
Re: newbie here
« Reply #20 on: July 13, 2007, 09:44:55 AM »
Welcome Sean!

Things can become and will most likely become more "normal" in time. We all know the rollercoaster too well and, for many, things settle and become much less overwhelming and very manageable.

« Last Edit: July 13, 2007, 09:49:51 AM by StrongGuy »
"Get your medical advice from Doctors or medical professionals who you trust and know your history."

"Beware of the fortune teller doom and gloomers who seek to bring you down and are only looking for company, purpose and validation - not your best physical/mental interests."

"You know you all are saying that this is incurable. When the real thing you should be saying is it's not curable at the present time' because as we know, the great strides we've made in medicine." - Elizabeth Edwards

Offline carousel

  • Member
  • Posts: 821
Re: newbie here
« Reply #21 on: July 13, 2007, 10:07:24 AM »
It does feel like a rollercoaster at first.

Somewhere along the line, when you realise that you're not going to suddenly drop dead of it and that life can continue, you kind of step off the rollercoaster.

Welcome to this site and to the many great people that gather here.

Offline dixieman

  • Member
  • Posts: 889
Re: newbie here
« Reply #22 on: July 13, 2007, 04:16:18 PM »
Hey, I would rather not have the opportunity to welcome someone to this forum... but, I must say I've been bugged out since 1991... I've had deppression... suicidal thoughts... prepared for my death... lost count after 50 for friends passing... all in all.. I'm alive doing well and I am now 46... 1589 cd4 count... non-detectable and still here... so if you need to ask questions... listen to someone elses thoughts... or just bullshit with others who have the same challenges in life as yourself... everyones here... and some have good suggestions and imput...Your not alone... and I welcome you to our little world... sincerely, John

Offline david25luvit

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,409
  • Member since March 2005
Re: newbie here
« Reply #23 on: July 16, 2007, 11:44:35 AM »
Hey Sean....

                    Welcome to the family, good buddy.  Not to worry you are not alone.  I am so glad you found us.
I suspect you'll find this a very supportive group....I have!   Hang in there....it does get better.  It takes time to adjust
to come to terms with HIV and all that it entails but it is possible to manage it.  Let me suggest if you haven't already
to check out the lessons part of this site and learn as much about HIV as you can....knowledge is power and it will help
you to face the days ahead....  Again WELCOME TO THE FAMILY!
In Memory of
Raymond David McRae III
Nov. 25, 1972- Oct. 15, 2004
I miss him terribly..........


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