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Author Topic: Keeping things in perspective  (Read 1946 times)

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Offline woodshere

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  • Posts: 1,477
  • ain't no shame in my game
Keeping things in perspective
« on: May 01, 2007, 04:08:36 PM »
Last night I had a pity party.  It continued till this morning.  The guest list included loneliness, financial difficulty, HIV, depression, the look of losing weight when I am not, fatigue, diarrhea, sadness and lack of BF.  Of course the guest of honor was me.

This morning the party came to an abrupt end with a phone call.  To supplement my income, I have a small house & dog sitting business.  Many of my clients are friends, family of friends or friends of friends.  Today's phone call involved a client who is a friend and also the daughter of a very good friend.  Last night while my client and her husband were driving home they had an argument.  While driving he took a gun from the console and shot himself.  Miraculously a wreck didn't happen causing more injuries.

I cannot imagine how a person deals with the horrors of suicide, but it is beyond my comprehension how she will be able to deal having been a witness 2 feet away and watching her husband kill himself. 

Of course I still have my problems, but this morning I was reminded how trivial they are when compared to what others must face.  I am indeed fortunate and thankful.

"Let us give pubicity to HV/AIDS and not hide it..." "One of the things destroying people with AIDS is the stigma we attach to it."   Nelson Mandela

Offline DanielMark

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  • Posts: 1,475
Re: Keeping things in perspective
« Reply #1 on: May 01, 2007, 04:44:25 PM »

Through the past 18 years of living with this unwanted houseguest, the agonies and difficulties, learning (and remembering) how to keep things in perspective has become my most important survival tool. Its so easy to blow things out of proportion with worry and fears especially if feeling down many of which turn out to be nothing really.

Thank you for bringing this subject up.




Offline Iggy

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Re: Keeping things in perspective
« Reply #2 on: May 01, 2007, 05:57:36 PM »
I absolutely agree that we have to keep things in perspective, but to me part of that perspective is acknowledging the issues that we do face. 

Speaking for myself, For me,  saying someone else has it worse doesn't really do anything productive for my outlook as it only feels like I'm guiling myself not to acknowledge my own very real problems.  I think other's tragedies also just make me feel darker rather than better as I see it as proof of a lot of the darkness, or more appropriately cold randomness, of the world that can inflict harm on us no matter how hard we try to avoid it.

What does help me keep things in perspective however is looking at what is wrong in my life along with what is good in my life.  That allows me to be able to confront things without guilt and gauge if I am allowing something bad that is going on to have a disproportionate effect on my outlook.

Offline GSOgymrat

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  • Posts: 5,122
  • HIV+ since 1993. Relentlessly gay.
Re: Keeping things in perspective
« Reply #3 on: May 01, 2007, 06:29:49 PM »
What an awful story. I'm very sorry for your friend.

Offline StacheBC

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  • Posts: 266
  • Hello
Re: Keeping things in perspective
« Reply #4 on: May 03, 2007, 01:28:22 AM »
Thanks for sharing Woods.

Like you, if I'm feeling down, if I remind myself of how good I have it compared to other... it lifts me up.
Not because I have some sort of sick pleasure...  I'm better off then they are...  More out of compassion for others, seeing how others can cope with more obstacles then I have.
Although some days just Suck big time...

Seeing how a person named Woods can turn a horrible story, into something positive.

Wishing you the very best,


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