nervous@need help

[Nervous40]

Thank you everyone here in this forum for helping others to go through hard time we all have it some times in our lives, and sorry for my english its not my mother tongue. To make my story short  im married man for over 14 years, never had sex out of marriage, all i knew in this life is work to home and home to work.  3 weeks ago i deciede to go out and have a drink in a bar ,met that lady, talked for 30 min, offred me to go with her in her house, i was so drunk, we ended up having sex, she gave me Unprotected oral for 30 min then i insist to have condom on for intercourse, she said she doesnt really care about condoms??? i asked her what  if i have any std or hiv , she said she will take the risk??? Anyhow we had sex with condom which it covered 1/3 of my pines. after we finshed i felt so guilty, week after i got drunk and i only wanted to see her to ask if shes ok, i mean if she has or had anything wrong with her health like hiv or std but stupied me ended up having sex with her again protected sex of course but... the intercourse last 5 min i felt she is so wet, i withdraw and found alot of blood on the condom and on my public hair and scrotum which i got pimple there plus i shaved my scrotum the day before and i had all kind of small cuts, wasnt bleeding but was still there.her blood coverd all that area, i asked  what is that, she said it was her last day of her monthly thing, i was shocked, the condom  that was covered my penis all the way but still shocked from seening the blood all over specially on my scrotum with the pimple and the cuts i have . again my cuts wasnt bleeding( but who knows maybe bleeded from the contact) in the end that lady told me she cannot live without sex everyday in her life and she goes to different sex parties every week and she have 10 men at least in each of this sex parties.
OG i feel so so bad that i involved my self in such thing, since then i stopped drinking at all, i hate my self and my life, i cannot touch my wife anymore. scared to death, cannot do my work as i used to, alot of people at work asked me what happened, why i changed. i just cannot consentrate onmy life anymore.i cannot think or do anything, i wake up thinking about that and hardly sleep. pls pls i need advice ..what is my chance to be infected? should i stop sleeping with my wife forever? what now??? waiting to hear from you .should i get tested??? should i go on with my life? in that consider a High risk??? low Risk?? And YES i used latex condoms both times. what about the pimple? what about the cuts??? Thanks again

[Ann]

Nervous,

You used a condom and therefore had no risk for hiv infection. The pimples and cuts don't matter - what does matter is that the head of your penis was covered by the condom. Condoms have been proven to prevent hiv infection.

And just in case you're wondering, getting a blowjob isn't a risk for hiv infection either.

Hiv is a fragile, difficult to transmit virus that is only transmitted in a few, very specific ways. Cuts and/or pimples on your scrotum isn't one of them, regardless of the presence of menstrual blood. We see men here all the time with the same concern and none of them ever test positive. You won't either.

You feel guilty because you strayed - but hiv isn't a punishment and it's not going to happen to you just because you had sex with someone who isn't your wife. You did the right thing and used a condom, so you were protected. Don't let your guilt tell you otherwise.

No risk, no need to test for hiv over these incidents.

Ann

[Nervous40]

Ann,
OMG that was really fast reply, thanx a millions even Millions not enough for you, I just wanna say i never did anything out of marriage which my wife and I went for test before we got married and we both Neg, Its alcohol and the normal stress everyday who push us to unknown.
It was one mistake in my life, if i do it everyday i would accept to get anything but it was ONE mistake I love my wife, and i really regret what i did. i had this pimple and as i said due to the shaving thing i had something like ingrowing hair from before on my scrotum like warts with blood on them they dont hurt and i never cared about them untill that happened. is that broken skin? whatever.... do u think i can get infected through that??? if one of them was opened?? Thanx again ann , believe me you r an angel

[RapidRod]

You did not have a risk and you don't have to worry about a pimple on your bag.

[Andy Velez]

As you have already been told you were not at risk for HIV during these incidents. The important thing is that you had a condom on.

There's no need for HIV testing nor for further concern.

What you're left with is the anxiety and guilt for having strayed. You're a dog like the rest of us. You can't undo that bit of your personal history. It's no tribute to your finer character for you to torture yourself about it now. Take a breath, let it go and get on with your life. That's the best thing you can do for yourself and your wife. Stop indulging in this drama. No kidding.

And avoid excessive drinking in the future. It never leads to anything good.

Cheers,

[xyahka]

Hi, i agree with Andy, you are not in risk, so give yourself a rest.

I know how human being are (cause i am one of them...) and it is very possible you will fall again, it happened to me... just remember some things... always play safe, and check things out before getting in!!! (if you know what i mean).

Other thing that will help you out a lot, is to learn more about hiv, i know now you know you are not in risk of infection you might think...hiv? learn more? no way!! i want to forget about it!!! Well, that was my attitude several times when i was healthy and now i am here.

What i mean to say is... listen... the best way to prevent hiv is to know how it works and how it happens, the best you know your enemy, the best chances you have to win the battle. Plus, remember this... hiv is widely spread, knowing more about it and sharing that knowledge with others will help you and help them to stay safe... and will burn your fears away.

Good luck and remember, this is not a punishment from above... this is a serious illness that can happen to anyone, like cancer for instance... if you could prevent cancer.. i am sure you would take measures to do so right? Do same with Hiv. That's all