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Author Topic: i wasn't even going to test but...  (Read 2098 times)

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Offline breatheasy?

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  • Posts: 3
i wasn't even going to test but...
« on: April 12, 2007, 06:05:49 PM »
I was very reluctant to post..  I 've read this forum  and the lessons.
Today I had a test done to put my maladjusted mind at ease over a situation that occurred about 5 mos ago where I received a blowjob from a woman I knew to be positive.  It also involved some kissing and fingering.  My mind does terrible things when borrowing worry and that's just me I guess.
  I was not scared at the time and enjoyed being with this woman immensely, she is very knowledgeable and careful also.  but even she said later that maybe I should test to rule it out..cause i was having other health issues.  She didn't seem overly concerned but I think  she wants piece of mind in case some fluke happened... That freaked me right out, because this site was the reason I didn't bother to test in the first place.

 I realize that the experts on here will tell me there was no risk and I will look no further for any info on HIV anywhere.  Where i live health nurses even recommended I test and kind of pissed me off. It's frustrating.  It causes a lot of unnecessay worry and perpetuates fear.. I know you guys get a lot of this.  It's still kind of scary. I hope I don't have anything to worry about. Thank you kindly for your patience and insights.   I feel fine now health wise just a bit nervous is all 

Offline Central79

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  • Posts: 527
Re: i wasn't even going to test but...
« Reply #1 on: April 12, 2007, 06:22:19 PM »
First of all, you are my new favourite person for being broadminded and educated enough to have a roll in the hay with a pozzie in an environment dominated by fear, bigotry and misunderstanding. It shouldn't be special, but it is.

From what you have said, you don't have any risk for acquiring HIV from this woman. I totally expect your test to come back negative.

The reasons that the nurses might have recommended you test might be because a sexually active adult should be getting tested for HIV 1-2/year. The other reason is that tests are also used to reassure a worried patient, even if the chance of it coming back with a result are miniscule. As HIV testing becomes more "normalised" this will happen more often.

Best wishes.

Diagnosed January 2006
26/1/06 - 860 (22%), VL > 500,000
24/4/06 - 820 (24.6%), VL 158,000
13/7/06 - 840 (22%), VL 268,000
1/11/06 - 680 (21%), VL 93,100
29/1/07 - 1,020 (27.5%), VL 46,500
15/5/07 - 1,140 (22.8%), VL not done.
13/10/07 - 759 (23.2%), VL 170,000
6/11/07 - 630 (25%), VL 19,324
14/1/08 - 650 (21%), VL 16,192
15/4/08 - 590 (21%), VL 40, 832

Offline breatheasy?

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  • Posts: 3
Re: i wasn't even going to test but...
« Reply #2 on: April 12, 2007, 09:04:47 PM »
thanks matt mee,
I think things are going to be alright...sigh.. but I still get waves of doubt
I've done everything that I can do now.  Reading all the posts relating to that type of scenario and the behaviours engaged in tell me it's not an HIV issue, for that I am thankful. Testing can be stressful. Period.

Offline breatheasy?

  • Member
  • Posts: 3
Re: i wasn't even going to test but...
« Reply #3 on: April 16, 2007, 09:39:05 PM »
I don't know why but I'm starting to freak a bit here.. I know about all these serodiscordant couple studies that Ann often refers to, but I am still scared for some reason.  We didn't have intercourse. Trying to get a grip on my paranoia. It's tough.   

Offline Andy Velez

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  • Member
  • Posts: 31,724
Re: i wasn't even going to test but...
« Reply #4 on: April 16, 2007, 11:07:05 PM »
You're right. We are telling you that you weren't at risk in anyway for HIV transmission during the activities you have mentioned. No need for testing.

And it's perfectly understandable that you should be anxious and concerned. After all this is your health and your life we're talking about. Working through those feelings and realizing those are fears which have no basis in HIV science is a part of what's needed. If you are going to have further involvement with this woman or indeed with anyone in the future, discusing the issue of HIV should be as direct, respectful and honest as possible.

You can have all the sex you want to with as many people as you like regardless of their HIV status. The thing is you have to always wear a condom for intercourse. As far as other activities are concerned it's a matter of deciding about your comfort level in terms of any risk. Between a man and a woman for you as the guy the only real risk is in relation to intercourse. Do it with a  latex condom everytime and you're good to go. No matter what fears your mind comes up with.

Andy Velez


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