Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
November 22, 2017, 05:52:33 AM

Login with username, password and session length

  • Total Posts: 722637
  • Total Topics: 58731
  • Online Today: 310
  • Online Ever: 1421
  • (August 13, 2016, 05:18:44 AM)
Users Online
Users: 1
Guests: 253
Total: 254


Welcome to the POZ Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Author Topic: Struggle........  (Read 2455 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline GUY2004

  • New Member
  • Posts: 1
« on: June 19, 2006, 03:52:03 PM »
Hi, All,

I am from Moscow, Russia. Positive and tired since 2004. I am not on medical. I passed cd4 test only once. No viral load test.
Cd4 test was done 7 moth past infection. Cd4=763abs.  38%. No tests since that time. My life for those 2 year is struggle with my body. I found that only one thing helps me – to eat a lot… So when I am tired I eat – sometimes it helps, sometimes no. Also I became very fat because of that.

The problem is that I work full day. And I think my colleagues think I am strange sometimes. I would say I am completely exhausted two days – Monday morning and Friday evening. Morning is always difficult,  but the thing is that I wake up quite healthy and re-freshed, but in one hour when I drive my car I am completely exhausted. I feel like all my body is slow, my muscles are aching, my eyes are moving slowly and hurting, even my mind and speech are concerned. It is like all energy is taken from me. When the people ask me something I am not able even to understand the question. Usually it continues the whole Monday – I feel completely exhausted. It is even difficult to drive the car – because I am not able to react fast. My eyes see black points which are moving. Every morning is the same, but especially – the Monday. At this day I want to die, because it is not me. I want  to buy a gun and shut my head… But I am too sick probable to do that.

By the Friday evening I become tired and tired and my joints become involved in the process also,  they are inflaming. My stomach is upset usually at that time also. But joint pain and tiredness is the main issues, which make my life awful. I feel like all the body inside is inflaming, like something eats me inside. It affects my vision also, I see the people like through the fog.

I am alone, and I do not even want to be with someone, because I am not able to love, when I am like that.

Anyone thoughs how to overcome that, not to give up and continue to fight...........

Offline Markmt

  • Member
  • Posts: 180
Re: Struggle........
« Reply #1 on: June 20, 2006, 11:07:45 AM »
Hi Guy,

and welcome to the forum. I dont know what your treatment options and possibilities are in Moscow, but in my opinion you are due for more Labs and check out where your numbers are going. You Last counts seemed fine but that was a while ago. This site offers lots of information besides the real day to day expereinces in the various threads on the boards  living with the virus. I hope you would have the opportunity to put your health plan together.

There are many conditions that can be stress and anxiety related and opening up and not being alone can help. I hope that you have now found this site will help you. You are not alone.

take care,

"Live to love and love to live."

Leo Buscaglia

Offline dario

  • Member
  • Posts: 80
Re: Struggle........
« Reply #2 on: June 21, 2006, 05:42:55 PM »
You are not alone.  The struggle you feel within yourself shows that you are a person with a beautiful heart.  And that makes you even more loveable to me.  I also feel alone sometimes ... Yes there are people who care.  Remember YOU ARE NOT ALONE
... when I was young, I never needed anyone, making love was just for fun, those days are gone ... Eric Carmen (Raspberries)

Offline blondbeauty

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,787
Re: Struggle........
« Reply #3 on: June 21, 2006, 07:55:33 PM »
You are not alone. Welcome.
Your infection is still very recent and there is much you can do to live a healthy life. Seek for medical attention. I am sure in Rusia antirretrovirals and treatment is free.
Your future is in your hands.
The only member in these forums approved by WINBA: World International Nail and Beauty Association.
Epstein Barr +; CMV +; Toxoplasmosis +; HIV-1 +.
Counts when starting treatment:
V.L.:80.200 copies. CD4: 25%=503
Started Sustiva-Truvada 14/August/2006
Last V.L.count (Oct 2013): Undetectable
Last CD4 count (OCT 2013): 52%= 933

Offline Eldon

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,664
Re: Struggle........
« Reply #4 on: June 21, 2006, 09:23:01 PM »
Seek medical advice and try to get on meds to put the virus asleep.


Terms of Membership for these forums

© 2017 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.