Disgusted with sex after orgasm

[PeteNYNJ]

Hello All

I don't know if this belongs in this forum but it will be moved if needed.

I have always been a very sexual person.  In the last few years, after I orgasm, I am so grossed out with sex.  I just want to run away with it.  I don't know if it directly correlates to when I found out I was positive but is definitely something that keeps me from having anything long term now.  I am not very horny, but when I do get the urge and I take care of myself, I feel disgust after.  I tend not to think that about others, just myself.

I am starting to think it is some PTSD either from my diagnosis or further back from abuse.  Does/did anyone else feel this way.  It is starting to fuck with my head.

Pete

[Miss Philicia]

Let me get this right Pete -- you're even getting this disgust feeling after masturbation?  That's so not cool for you, and it's definitely not something I've heard from others and yes I think it must be connected with unresolved stuff from your diagnosis.  You need a professional to help you deal with this, and don't let in dangle out there because you're too cool of a guy to keep things going like this.  Get a referral for someone that does cognitive behavioral therapy as the technique.

I'll be thinking of you

[Matty the Damned]

Petey,

I agree with Miss P. Get thyself to a headshrinker.

MtD

[skeebo1969]

     Pete,

       I love bro.. I think Miss P. is on point.  It really takes a man to admit and confront this, of which I think you are.

    (((hugs)))

[Rev. Moon]

Pete, I agree with Philicia.  If this started happening to you around the same time that you were diagnosed as poz then there may be some unresolved issue (guilt, anger, acceptance, who knows).  The mind plays interesting games with our body. I know this sensation of disgust (I experienced it for about a year after a traumatic event in my late teens).

Talking to a therapist should help you in getting to the root cause of this sensation.  Sex is very important to one's well-being; you deserve to feel like you did some time ago.

Best,

Moi.

[PeteNYNJ]

Yes boys, I agree.  I think it may have a lot to me feeling very unsexy lately (gained weight).  I have been in a lot of therapy in the past but I feel like once I beat one problem, another one rears its ugly head.

Ugh, it sucks.  

This has PTSD written all over it...here we go again.

[Hellraiser]

I lose interest in sex right after orgasm, but I think that's pretty normal.  Disgust is a whole different ballgame.  Like are we talking disgust with yourself, or with the other person?  Are you on any medications other than HAART?

[PeteNYNJ]

disinterest is normal...a guy cums, sex drive goes away.  Disgust meaning if I am watching porn after I cum, I want it off like yesterday.  I hate the way I feel after...I feel fat, dirty, etc. 

So yeah, I tend to hate myself after which doesnt help with having a relationship.  There is a bunch more stuff, but it is kinda vulgar so I wont share so lets just say I wont let guys do certain things to me because I feel dirty.

Again, this has all sprung up in about the last 2 years.  I have been diagnosed about 6 years ago.

[Miss Philicia]

So Pete, maybe this is more related to your change in weight?  The fact that it began two years ago as opposed to when you were infected six years ago makes me now think it's not related directly to your diagnosis.

[tednlou2]

I've never heard of anyone feeling guilty after masturbating.  I'm surprised I don't have this problem after my mom found my crusty towel under my bed when I was like 13.  I remember she made me feel guilty about it.    

I know many gay and straight guys want to leave after the deed is done.  I've noticed over the years that guys are all about the sex before it happens and then want to get the hell out of there once it is done.  I've often wondered whether they (I've been guilty myself) feel shame for having sex.  I think I do often feel shame or feel like I've done something bad after I have sex.  I even feel this with my partner now.  It isn't some overwhelming thought, but I definitely feel like we just did something bad.  Perhaps with my partner now, I feel guilty for possibly exposing him to the virus even though what we do would be a very, very low risk.

[PeteNYNJ]

Philly, maybe but I have always been chunky so who knows

Others - it isn't I want to just leave or I am over it.  I am grossed out and feel dirty after.  It is irrational.  At least I realize it , so I guess I am not nuts

[BT65]

Hey Pete,

You also mentioned abuse in your past.  People who were sexually molested as children, and never deal with it with a trained therapist, can grow up with all sorts of problems.  I'm not saying this is the main cause of your "disgust," but it could be part of it.  Things that happen to people when they're children, can rear their heads at odd times.  It could be part of the mixture of causes.

I totally agree with seeing a therapist.  You deserve better, babe.
-Betty