Awaiting confirmation test

[Trying2be]

So here goes, I'm am a 31 yr old male. I guess if I had to identify with something it would be gay. I have only and always used condoms during sex. Although I have had various partners I never went into any situation drunk or impaired at all, fully aware and fully protected in every way. Or so I thought. When I heard about PrEP I was extactic just because the anxiety that contracting the virus would cause me. Even going to get tested (every 3 months) I would almost feel as if I had it already. Well I've been negative up till now.

Tested Neg 1.18.17
Got a tonsil bacterial infection 2.15.17 cleared up in 4 days with antibiotics

Tested negative rapid prick test 2.19.17

Tested reactive  with 4 gen test 4.10.17

Awaiting Western Blot results.

I am currently doing ok seeing as I had already mentally given myself the virus multiple times so it's a weird familiar place for. I have been staying active been going to the gym, running, and working and besides the 4 days I was down with the tonsil infection I've had no other symptoms.... I've been a bit sleepy, but I was accrediting that to my workout schedule. Also still a bit in shock I guess because I have used condoms 100% of the time, never any slip ups or breaks.

Just trying the find a bit of hope while awaiting my results.

I keep thinking maybe it was a mistake or false positive, then something sneaks in and says "with my luck, who am I kidding"

[Jim Allen]

Hi

Look firstly don't stress, false reactive results happen and we see them here often.
The follow-up testing will tell, in the meantime live your life as normal.

Also still a bit in shock I guess because I have used condoms 100% of the time, never any slip ups or breaks. [/b]

If it is positive than you had a exposure, that's unfortunate. As for the condoms well the theory is great as a tool of prevention as HIV can not transmit through an intact barrier. The truth be told I don't think i have ever met anyone who 100% heat of the moment uses condoms correctly and consistently, or uses them for other lesser risk activities, this all next to the normal breakage risks as well of course, hence we tell people to test as routine. Although i do note you reported no breaks so that is great.

End of the day it does not matter, if you are positive its unfortunate but know you will fine and with today's treatments you can expect to live a long and productive and hopefully happy life.

Try not to stress too much about it, i know it can be hard time whilst waiting for results.  Keep us posted and we are here for you if you need us. 

Don't forget to also test for other STI's.

Jim

[Trying2be]

Hey first off I want to say thanks so much for your positivity. It's giving me allot of hope. In regards to my safe sex comment. When it came to actual insetive sex always 100% condom use. I have had a couple of oral exchanges however, while never swallowing or allowing my mouth to stay closed. Keeping the air or flow constant. I guess the transmission could have been from one of these situations? If indeed I am positive.Also I am very communicative with my partners, both before and after sex even with the use of condoms always.

I got my testing at an anylab testing type situation.....will they call immediately if the Western blot results are positive? It has now been a couple days since I got the non reactive diagnosis, and wondering if it would be a priority of the lab. Will some type of red flag let them know the matters urgent?

Again thanks for all you beautiful words, in combination with running and praying I have been able to keep the anxiety somewhat at bay.

[Jim Allen]

Its safer sex not safe, i think that is a common misunderstanding.
I know that sounds picky but its an important difference, as for condom usage its not only about using them, its also about lube, the type of lube and here comes the one people often skip - change the condom with every position change (Nobody does, this includes myself) As for your possible infection this could be from this or could be from the oral, its such a low risk we don't even recommend specific testing just routine testing, it would be very unfortunate considering the intact mouth does not have the cells to infect but with damage to the mouth it could happen, rare.

Anyhow whatever happens wondering about the how is kinda pointless, the key here is to focus on yourself and if you are positive on moving forward getting the virus in check with the medication and moving on.
 

I got my testing at an anylab testing type situation.....will they call immediately if the Western blot results are positive?

Depends on the location, state and the lab. The routine is they will call and ask you to come in to discuss the results however in some places they just notify the results either positive or negative by phone. It does depend.

Its not something you want to have and if negative continue to avoid it however on the other-hand if its a positive result its not a game changer for you at all. Its just treatment and live your life. 

Take it easy, don't overthink this and wishing you all the best.
EDIT:

Look until you get the test result there is not much you can do but I know you are probably like most reading all types of rubbish online. Don't and if you are going to waste time reading at least read something from a good reference such as : https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/newly-diagnosed

Jim 

[Trying2be]

Just wanted to keep you guys updated.

Western Blot Confirmation: reactive 4.13.17

Oddly enough I'm not completely broken. I haven't cried. I still feel as if I have life left to live and things to do and places to go. I've always been a pretty positive person so I hope this doesn't change. I'm a bit worried about my family's reaction considering they're from a very traditional Christian background. I think I will keep it to myself for the moment, at least while I deal with it.

I'm going in to get things started tomorrow...... considering I never really seroconverted  (besides a tonsil infection about a month and a half back), and I get tested every couple months I'm confident we stopped her dead in her tracks.

I'm a bit nervous about the future, however using this as fuel and a wake up call to re dedicate myself to family, God, friends and overall growth. Taking personal responsibility for my actions is always something I've held very true, so this reaction is another product of my decisions.

Still baffles me that I was this unlucky..... never once bare, always protected for anal sex, and for oral never allowing ejaculate to come in contact with my mouth (never swallowing). At this point I'm not trying to figure out who done it, just how. But I'll try and not let this completely take my time. I've got a life to fight for! I choose to live!

[Jim Allen]

Well sorry hear that.

I've moved you thread into the "I just tested positive section" but just for the time being until you have seen the specialist stay in this thread, other members will be able to help you out here- Thanks.

I'm a bit worried about my family's reaction considering they're from a very traditional Christian background. I think I will keep it to myself for the moment, at least while I deal with it.

Yeah, well family can be a great source of support, but I don't know your family so that is up to you. I will say this once someone knows, well than the cat is out of the bag and the cat tends to piss everywhere.

Anyhow try not to overthink things or to get too focused on this one, its HIV and yeah I know at the start it can feel and seem somewhat overwhelming, just take it step by step, make sure you have a follow-up appointment and plans to see a specialist, get treatment advice from them and remember you can always find us here if you need to vent or talk.   

Jim



 

[Ptrk3]

I'm sorry to read that you have tested positive, but glad that you have found this forum for support, guidance, and enlightenment.

It's great that you have a positive attitude.  You should.  The medical regimens today, presuming you remain adherent, will assure you a long and healthy life.

It does get better, believe me.

Please continue to use these forums to share your story and progress as you begin your new and unexpected journey.  There are many fine and wise people here to help you on your way.

In the meantime, you may wish to peruse these links for further information:

https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/newly-diagnosed

https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/starting-hiv-treatment

https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/hiv-medications

https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/drug-assistance-programs

I wish you the very best.

[Tonny2]

       OJO      HELLO THERE...WELCOME...I'M SORRY FOR YOUR DIAGNOSIS...WISHING YOU THE BEST, YOU ARE NOT ALONE...CYBER HUG                                      OJO

[Trying2be]

You guys have been the Biggest help right now......and I thank you with all my heart. I'm continuing to stay positive. I did have a Brief moment at work yesterday where someone asked me if I was alright and I had to step outside because I almost started crying. However other than that I'm trying to stay on top of my emotions. I love with my best friend who is an amazing and super optimistic so although I will not tell him just being around his energy helps.

I am about to see my HIV counselor, so I'm a bit nervcited!

Like I said I'm a fighter. This is day 2 so let's rock it!

[Jim Allen]

That was fast service seeing a HIV counselor within 2 day.  Excellent, don't be nervous I'm sure the session will got - did go by now just fine.

Brief moment at work yesterday where someone asked me if I was alright and I had to step outside because I almost started crying.

Aha sure, look you are still raw and digesting the news so no wonder you had a moment like that. Nothing to be worried or embarrassed about. 

Jim

[Trying2be]

Noticed a typo in my last post... "I live with my best friend...."

Just met with my counselor who was amazing! As soon as we said our introductions and she closed her office doors I just started crying, like I never had before. Not histerically, but my emotions just spilled out all at once. She was very nurturing and understanding while consoling me and letting me know that  tears had to happen.

We went over allot, signed loads of paperwork. I would tear up every once in a while, but then we'd would find something to joke about. Like say for example she seems to think I will be dating sooner than later. While I tend to think a lot different.

 I've worked so hard in my life at maintaining and building confidence and these skills will help to fuel my fight.

The meeting overall left me feeling more like myself again, and for this I am truly grateful. We meet again next Week, then I'm off for Labs/Specialist Visit/Dental Visit.

Peace and Blessing

[Ptrk3]

I'm glad to read things went well for you at your first counseling session.  It's great that you have good support in place to keep you positive and strong.  Keep up the good work and keep sharing your progress with the forum. 

Think of forum members as an online support group:  we are here for your support and guidance.  We help one another keep healthy and strong.

Best wishes to you.

[Tonny2]

        ojo        HELLO AGAIN....i'M HAPPY TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR APPOINMENT, CRYING IS GOOD FOR THE SOUL, AND YOUR CORNEAS...I LIKE YOUR POSITIVE ATTITUDE, YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO FEEL DOWN, BUT YOU HAVE THE OBLIGATION TO KEEP MOVING FORWARD, YOU ARE A FIGHTER, A VICTOR, NOT A VICTIM...STAY STRONG AND PLEASE, KEEP US POSTED...CYBER HUG ON YOUR WAY                             ojo

[awakening]

@Trying2be I can totally relate to your experience. PM me if you would like to chat further.

[awakening]

@trying2be, got your message, but check your settings, I'm blocked from sending you PMs or replies.

[Trying2be]

Hey @awakening. Sorry about that I just corrected my settings