Author Topic: Confused and scared (Read 9974 times)

BigAndStrongSoul · « **on:** October 21, 2014, 12:29:04 pm »

I recently was diagnosed with hiv in October 2014. I got my results back of T cells and viral load.

Below

T-cells: 536

Viral load: 25-27

What does this mean?
My doctor said this is good but I'm still scared!!!
Is this normal?

Ptrk3 · « **Reply #1 on:** October 21, 2014, 12:40:26 pm »

I am sorry for your diagnosis, but welcome to the Forum. You will find that the Forum will be a comfort to you as you begin your new journey.

Your numbers are very good, so your doctor is correct. Your viral load, especially, is great, considering you have not had treatment.

Listen to your doctor and follow all medical instructions. You will be fine. The early days can be an emotional roller-coaster (I was diagnosed in August 2013, with a CD4 of 9 and a VL of 111,000, with PCP in hospital), but things get better. You will live a long and healthy life.

BigAndStrongSoul · « **Reply #2 on:** October 21, 2014, 02:36:56 pm »

Thank you. It's just its so hard and haven't told my parents yet. I'm 23 years old. 6"3 tall 225lbs.

Hopes that helps ...

Ptrk3 · « **Reply #3 on:** October 21, 2014, 03:05:46 pm »

Take a deep breath and let things come as they may for the time being, until you are in a better space. You can share your status with your parents, if at all, when you are ready. Don't stress about that. They are your parents and will always love and accept you. Take care of yourself for now.

You're in fine physical shape, with you CD4's and your VL. Your size and shape also speak to your current health, very impressive! You need to change your name from BrokenSoul to BigAndStrongSoul

You are young, strong, healthy, and the future lies before you like a beautiful field of flowers. Enjoy your life and listen to your doctor!

BigAndStrongSoul · « **Reply #4 on:** October 21, 2014, 03:25:58 pm »

Thank you so much...I was feeling like failure. I mean wasn't wreckless. I played safe but something must have happened that I didn't know of. I like that name and I'm going to change.

Any advice I should know to help me on my journey.

JustSmile01 · « **Reply #5 on:** October 21, 2014, 03:30:16 pm »

Yes! Change your name

You're going to be FINE. Don't worry and don't stress--horrible for your overall health. You're numbers are awesome for pre-treatment and will only get better--hell, you're already considered undetectable so the meds will help you to suppress the VL even further while raising your CD4.

Normal? No, lol. You have a VL, but like I said--don't worry. If you don't already know VL or Viral Load is the amount of HIV in your system essentially. CD4 are the cells it primarily attacks,which weaken your immune system if left untreated.

BigAndStrongSoul · « **Reply #6 on:** October 21, 2014, 03:46:51 pm »

I just found that I would have to setup a different account to create another name but I do love the name....

Jeff G · « **Reply #7 on:** October 21, 2014, 03:49:46 pm »

Quote from: BrokenSoul on October 21, 2014, 03:46:51 pm

I just found that I would have to setup a different account to create another name but I do love the name....

Check your personal messages ... I can help you change the name .

Jeff G · « **Reply #8 on:** October 21, 2014, 04:16:56 pm »

Its done ! . Just remember it next time you log in ... its case sensitive .

BigAndStrongSoul · « **Reply #9 on:** October 21, 2014, 04:24:50 pm »

Ptrk3 · « **Reply #10 on:** October 21, 2014, 06:07:51 pm »

Glad you like the name! Much more fitting!

Advice: don't beat yourself up
try not to ruminate on the past
make plans for the future
seek all the help you need
listen to your doctor/take all meds as prescribed
keep in touch with this forum
eat well
sleep well
don't rush to disclose (think about who and when, if at all)
love well
live well
get on with things

That's a start, anyway

BigAndStrongSoul · « **Reply #11 on:** October 21, 2014, 06:34:01 pm »

Thanx I needed that.....Ive beeen tying to focus on college work but I just cant right now........need a break...

absopozilutely · « **Reply #12 on:** October 22, 2014, 05:20:38 am »

24 years old here, I can relate to a lot, wish I had your excellent numbers when I started. You're in tip top shape. Have faith in yourself you'll be fine. You'll tell your family when you're ready, educate yourself to help when you tell them. Times really have changed. Remember you have the virus, don't let it control you, you control it.

Abso!

JustSmile01 · « **Reply #13 on:** October 22, 2014, 06:24:37 am »

Yeah, disclose who you want to and when you want to. Don't feel obligated. For instance--I couldn't tell my parents I have HIV because of how powerful that diagnosis can seem to them but since auto immune diseases run in our family I very casually brought up that my doctor had found that I had an auto immune disease (not lying technically) and that it's now under control--they didn't even blink and I was met with "oh ok that's good" haha

JustSmile01 · « **Reply #14 on:** October 22, 2014, 06:28:23 am »

Also! This is very important--don't feel like what you have is a secret or that you can't tell anyone. I have friends who have diabetes, MS, lupus, and HEP all of them choose not to tell people because it's simply no ones business. However, it's nothing to be ashamed of. You're not a stigma and you're not a statistic. You are a human being who acquired something by chance and you will prevail

BigAndStrongSoul · « **Reply #15 on:** October 22, 2014, 10:21:20 am »

Thanx. I will keep that in mind...I just thought I had this burden to tell but now I see that I don't.

I guess I'm lucky to have a very low viral load and strong immune system....sigh

BigAndStrongSoul · « **Reply #16 on:** October 22, 2014, 12:39:08 pm »

By the way. I don't know how long I had it which also concerns me...

Can anyone tell me more details about this?

JustSmile01 · « **Reply #17 on:** October 22, 2014, 07:32:35 pm »

There is not real way--I asked my doctor the same thing. I have been in a committed relationship for 2 years and haven't slept with anyone for almost a year prior to that. I've never used drugs much less needles and have only had unprotected sex with two people (both neg). So I have not a clue but words of advice (and to save you a few therapy sessions) you gotta let that go. If your situations like mine and you don't know how you could havd gotten it then there is no use. Focus on your treatment and the long life you/we have ahead

tryingtostay · « **Reply #18 on:** October 22, 2014, 10:27:43 pm »

Quote from: BigAndStrongSoul on October 22, 2014, 12:39:08 pm

By the way. I don't know how long I had it which also concerns me...

Can anyone tell me more details about this?

Do you ever remember being very sick for a week or more in the last year? I know. That seems like a very broad question like "remember that tree in the forest?" lol

To compare I think my sero sick days were back between July - Sept of 13' I got myself checked out late Feb 14' Found out about a little *#@&! of a virus, and like you my numbers were very low. So that's about 7-8 months of not knowing with a LV on a decline (knock on wood.) I hope yours continues to remain that low or even decline. Those numbers are almost 'Undetectable' (UD) levels. Detectable for HIV-1 RNA by PCR, <20 is considered UD. There also is another level below that my doctor explained to me and they call it 'negative' ffs. Why the ffff would they have a level called negative - seems like cruel and unusual punishment, haha

I guess that's less that 10 copies per ml ? but anyways that's that.

If I am wrong anyone please correct me, thanks

absopozilutely · « **Reply #19 on:** October 23, 2014, 06:45:02 am »

Quote from: tryingtostay on October 22, 2014, 10:27:43 pm

Do you ever remember being very sick for a week or more in the last year? I know. That seems like a very broad question like "remember that tree in the forest?" lol

To compare I think my sero sick days were back between July - Sept of 13' I got myself checked out late Feb 14' Found out about a little *#@&! of a virus, and like you my numbers were very low. So that's about 7-8 months of not knowing with a LV on a decline (knock on wood.) I hope yours continues to remain that low or even decline. Those numbers are almost 'Undetectable' (UD) levels. Detectable for HIV-1 RNA by PCR, <20 is considered UD. There also is another level below that my doctor explained to me and they call it 'negative' ffs. Why the ffff would they have a level called negative - seems like cruel and unusual punishment, haha I guess that's less that 10 copies per ml ? but anyways that's that.

If I am wrong anyone please correct me, thanks

Yes, the number below UD is 0, for negative people. But we will never be at 0 again, barring a cure. We always will have some HIV in our system. Undetectable is the best we can do. I remember my seroconversion, a week of misory, fevers, chills, sleeping a LOT for like 2 weeks. There's not really a way to tell how long you've had it. Especially if you were having sex during the window periods of testing.

JustSmile01 · « **Reply #20 on:** October 23, 2014, 07:33:36 am »

Quote from: tryingtostay on October 22, 2014, 10:27:43 pm

Detectable for HIV-1 RNA by PCR, <20 is considered UD. There also is another level below that my doctor explained to me and they call it 'negative' ffs.

UD, according to my DR. id under 50, may be a difference in opinion however. I know 100 and below was the standard for quite sometime as well. Yup "negative" ff is also possible.

BigAndStrongSoul · « **Reply #21 on:** October 23, 2014, 10:09:05 am »

Hmmm very interesting. Maybe the virus was dormant in me and the last time I remember having chills and sweat was when I was 18 years old and tested neg all the way up to this point but that was because I stress thinking I had it then. I didn't get sick to the point I had to go to the doctor. In my house hold I rarely get sick compared to my family. I f do get sick the max it may last is less than 5 days or even less.

Hopefully I may be a elite controller but we shall see...

BigAndStrongSoul · « **Reply #22 on:** October 23, 2014, 01:16:35 pm »

Correction my viral load is 165

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Author Topic: Confused and scared (Read 9974 times)