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Welcome to the POZ Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

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Recent Posts

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Living With HIV / Re: How shall I live now? Ageing and new directions
« Last post by CalvinC on Today at 07:58:11 PM »
Let me clarify: volunteering isn't "beneath me." I enjoy it and I encourage other people to do it. And I'm not suggesting to people, in any way, that they are "temporary." And I don't look or act "desperate and clingy." Not sure where you got all that from. But thanks for the reply anyway.

Am I Infected? / Re: This is a long one. Getting stuff of my chest.
« Last post by JimDublin on Today at 06:22:00 PM »

You are letting a simple handjob rule and ruin your life.

I am unwilling to pretend you had a risk as doing so would only fuel your irrational fears and the fears of others reading this but also create further undue stigma towards people living with HIV.

I am also unwilling to facilitate or be part of this as we can not help you here. You simply do not have a HIV problem and it is beyond the level of support we can provide.

I mean it when i say talk to someone, see your GP and speak to them honestly about the impact this irrational fear is having in your life. If I take your posts as true you are letting this fear have debilitating effects on your daily life, it is wholly unneeded and in my opinion it is not a healthy situation.

You have been banned, I truly do this out of kindness and wish you well.


Off Topic Forum / Re: "CENTERFOLD" by J. GEILS BAND
« Last post by BT65 on Today at 06:19:52 PM »
Daniel, wow, that's a long, long time ago.  Nothing like an old song to make a person think of when s/he was young!  I believe I was just getting out of high school when that was a hit.

Not wanting a ban, Jim, here's one for you (if it results in a ban, then I'll survive it): Sorry for not merging the threads. And I appreciate your fast, clear, blatant, non-apologetic Irish honesty. I toast a whisky for you. Yeah, whisky, 'cause its Scottish not Irish, but I don't have an Irish one around me right now. So that's a clear ban now, I understand.

Thank YOU!
Am I Infected? / Re: This is a long one. Getting stuff of my chest.
« Last post by JimDublin on Today at 06:00:16 PM »
Cut the drama

I want to take a final test…next week this time would be 12 weeks. If I turn POZ then, I will write a book about this.


Yes make sure to mention the truth as you would not get HIV from a handjob, if you lie in the book I will be making sure people publicly understand that.

Move on with your life, I mean it seek support.


Off Topic Forum / My Favorite moments of the donald trump inauguration
« Last post by J.R.E. on Today at 05:55:13 PM »
 Summed up in these three shows:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5MSQm3hqEUU With Trevor Noah.  I loved this at 6:45 seconds

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0L9ZDnOB5ZU With Steven Colbert

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QmIS1y0cUv0 Bill Maher

Hi everyone, it's been a couple of weeks so thought an update would be good for me to write down.

We went to the hospital last week to see a Professor who has got him starting on chemotherapy this Friday. His body is covered in Kaposi sarcoma, but specifically his feet. We have been doing physio every day but it's on the soles of his feet so they get really really sore after some walking. They called it 'chemo-lite', he will have it once every 2 weeks intravenously for an hour, I'm told the side effects are minimal??

I have so many emotions about him starting chemo, on the one hand he is in pain with his feet and  they think it will be the best way to treat it. On the other hand, the KS seems so insignificant compared to the PCP he is still getting over. I'm worried it will wreck his immune system and we will be back where we started. His appetite is great right now and he has gained 10kg since since his lowest weight in December. He had some more blood tests last week so hoping for a fresh cd4 count in a few days-a month ago it was 100.

Some close friends of ours know the truth, but all I told my parents was that he has pneumonia. They visited regularly and were a great support, but now in their minds, he's gone from getting over pneumonia to having skin cancer and they don't understand it. I would love to be honest with them but not sure if they could handle the truth.

Personally I'm exhausted right now. Feel like I've been on high alert for 4 months and have had barely any downtime, met up with one of my best friends for a drink after work last week and felt so so guilty for leaving him by himself for a couple of extra hours.
Am I Infected? / Re: This is a long one. Getting stuff of my chest.
« Last post by JimDublin on Today at 05:47:53 PM »
You had no risk.

HIV is not transmitted this way, and if what you posted was your only concern the results of testing will remain negative. You own doctor is not understanding I am even less understanding. Seek professional face to face support as in a therapist to help you past this irrational concern.

Please do not post or ask about the tests / testing windows or a no risk situation again, I say this from a point of kindness as you just need to move on now and stop focusing/stressing about HIV.

If you post again it will lead to a ban.

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.
Hi guys,

I need to get this of my chest and through 10 weeks of Googling I couldn’t find a more inclusive and positive (in all meanings of the word) community.

Anyway, here’s my “unknown freaking out” story:
A day after Trump got elected President, a lot of things that were already brewing inside me kind of went out. I got the feeling “all is lost” that I have already had last year and the year before over various world events. See, its strange because I have a feeling the world is collapsing around me yet I myself have a beautiful, caring, intelligent girlfriend that I share everything with an excellent job, co-owning a mid-sized company at a young age of just over 30, getting success thrown at me by a number of great coincidences, , nice flat, good car and the works. So, I’ve been in this “I live like a king yet everything around me is in tatters” feeling. I don’t rationalize or defend here, this is just what led me to visiting a CSW even though I had no other internal reason to do it (I think). I did it in the past but this was when I was single and I used it to vent. Anyway, the CSW only gave me a short handjob I thought myself “you’re an idiot, never do that again!” and this where it all started:

Post-handjob, which is now 11 weeks away, I had all the symptoms of ARS and more, starting with week 1. Fever, recurrent night sweats, thrush (really, thrush, white spots on the cheek inside that come and disappear after 12 hours only to come back a few weeks later), partoitis, my jaw hurt, my ears felt full and and I had ear-ache, stiff neck and since mid December I have had the worst spaced out feelings ever…spending most of my days just disconnected, far away from stuff, unable to react, pay attention and for a few truly terrible days unable to READ (!) as I just couldn’t read paragraphs but had to read words by the letter like a child. It was like CLINICALLY (not mentally) something clicked in my brain.

I was absolutely sure that – although thought of as a no-risk encounter – it had to be HIV that somehow got through my jock-itch/rash with a small wound on my scrotum. I levelled of with my girlfriend through the process (who understands, thinks I have gone crazy but stands by me and is trying to help me), went through a total nervous breakdown (clearly as you can see above, I wasn’t very strong to begin with). Whenever I think I am fine, things appear out of the blue again (symptoms started week 1 and have been going in into week 11 which is pretty much now). Anyway, testing spree followed throughout the entire process so (bear with me) I had the following neg tests:
4th gen test at 12 days
26 days
33 days
47 days
55 days
60 days (+ syphilis also negative)
65 days

Rapid insti test at 75 days.

Why the rapid test? See, after 65 I was told “there is 1% chance the test is going change” and I kind of thought rationally: if the chances of actually getting it in the first place are impossible to 1:10000000, then the chances of not being accurately found out at 65 days are impossibly small, especially if symptoms started w1. Rationally I thought to myself “something is wrong with you, go see a freekin’doctor”. Based on that, I tried going around “non-HIV” doctors, trying to find out what’s wrong with me but being a person who never goes around doctors, its difficult, even though I have expensive private care: it all takes time. I had normal blood work and its fine and lyme disease negative. I also tried to return back to work which I slowed down significantly over the past month (thankfully I have the most understanding business partner ever and he took over a part of my responsibilities, I am just so lucky with all of these thing!).
But last week I did a lot of travelling (which is a part of my routine), flying to one city, going to meeting and flying to another. Midway though this routine that I actually used to love, my thrush returned in like an acute form, with specs and red bumps all across my inner cheek, I panicked, almost broke down in the middle of an airport (just made it to a hotel where I collapsed on the bed).

So yeah, that’s why the rapid test (couldn’t get anything faster). Anyway, here’s to the actual question: I always said “I have some symptoms” when I go for the test, not really able to tell all the symptoms I have, week after week, because the HIV nurses don’t seem to be that much interested (although they are all great). But if I look at my symptoms, there is nothing but HIV that could cause them which is what is causing my utter panic. Fever, night sweats, thrush, partoitis, meningitis, stiff neck, back pain…spread across 10 weeks when I have been perfectly healthy before? How? Immunity breaks down because of stress and all the funghi and infection come at once? But I live in a stresfull environment and this never happens to me!

I have not told my private GP about my HIV suspicion as she does not seem to be all that understanding. But would you just simply go to the HIV doctor and shout about the symptoms? Saying “I know it was a no risk contact but how can this happen to a healthy individual?” Would you try to find the reason somewhere else? Should I get a PCR test and just force them to do it (I could pay for it but I just haven’t managed to tell them to do it). Should I just try and forget HIV is even a possibility given risk + testing? I know testing beats symptoms but its not full 3 months yet.  Should I mention HIV to my GP?

I want to take a final test…next week this time would be 12 weeks. If I turn POZ then, I will write a book about this.

If anyone read all of this, then: I’m so sorry you had to! ☺ Appreciate any advice!
Estoy infectado? / Re: Consulta sobre besos con sangre
« Last post by Andy Velez on Today at 05:32:46 PM »
Cualquier los detalles besando no es un riesgo por el VIH.

Sexualmente solamente la copula vaginal y anal sin usando los condones son riesgos por el VIH.

No tiene que probar ahora.
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