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HIV Prevention and Testing => Do I Have HIV? => Topic started by: jaycoombs84 on November 10, 2019, 05:44:30 pm

Title: Paranoid or Reasonable worry
Post by: jaycoombs84 on November 10, 2019, 05:44:30 pm
Hi Everyone,

I am very new to the forum but already see the great support given by the moderators on here so have found the courage to reach out for some support. I am a bisexual guy who only ever has intercourse with condoms and always as a top.

I had my last rapid HIV test (biosure selftest) August 19th and it came back negative. Since then I have had a number of recent sexual encounters with other men.

I know symptoms are not a way to diagnose seroconversion but I feel like have every one under the sun (sore joints, shortness of breath, fatigue, headaches, upset stomach to name a few) and an not sure if this is just from paranoia due to the fear of HIV or if I have genuine infection.

I have a number of incidents which I will detail to which hopefully I can get a risk assement on each one and then a short few questions to try understand some specifics around HIV infection

1) I had mutual oral sex with a guy and while I may have had some precum in my mouth he did not ejaculate in my mouth. I had anal sex with him (I was the top) and wore a condom with lots of water based lube. I withdrew when I was coming and am sure the condom was intact and not damaged. I still have this worry that the condom could possibly be damaged or precum in mouth is a risk

2) I gave another guy anal sex (top again) and he came on his stomach. I did not come so I stopped and took my penis out of his anus, checked the condom and again there was no sign of damage. he then got me to lay back and gave me a blowjob but while doing it he started to put his finger in my ass. My worry here is I don't know if he had any cum on his finger as it was only around 1 minute after he came by masturbating himself. This one in particular has me really scared.

3) Another guy fucked my mouth quite hard and I gagged a number of times. I did not take his ejaculate in my mouth but he did cum on my face and mouth. Was this a risk of HIV infection if he was positive?

A few other questions if I may?

1) How long is HIV active in sperm once it hits air. Are we talking minutes or seconds?
2) How much of a risk is getting a guys sperm on your asshole even if there is no penetration?
3) Probably a stupid question but is it possible for a condom to look intact and actually be ripped or have a hole in it?
4) If there was a hole in a condom tip would it shred during intercourse?

Apologies for all the questions and if they seem a bit direct but I am worried I may have put myself at risk while believing my activities were low / no risk.

Title: Re: Paranoid or Reasonable worry
Post by: Ptrk3 on November 10, 2019, 05:52:54 pm
Nothing in your post indicates that you had a risk of HIV-infection.

Receiving unprotected oral sex is not a risk.  Giving unprotected oral sex is a theoretical risk, only if your mouth is full of gaping wounds (think "meth mouth").

However, unprotected oral sex of any kind can expose one to other STI's/STD's.

Protected anal sex is not a risk for HIV-infection, since your condom did not fail (you would know if it had).  Condoms are designed to shred upon breakage.

The HIV does not survive in a viable manner in the ambient environment, and the mouth is not a receptive place for the HIV to remain viable (in the case of the activities you have described).

To remain viable, the HIV must be introduced from inside the body to inside another body (sperm at the opening of the anus is not a threat).

Otherwise, if you don't feel well, see your healthcare provider for a proper evaluation and diagnosis.

Title: Re: Paranoid or Reasonable worry
Post by: jaycoombs84 on November 10, 2019, 05:59:32 pm
Thanks Prtk3 for your responses.

I am still a little confused though. As you said sperm at the opening of the Anus is not a risk. What if he had some on his finger and pushed it deeply into my anus?

Also, this one is more of a question for JimAllen as he is Irish. I live in a place called Meath in Ireland however I can only preform self testing with a home HIV kit when I work in the UK every few months. Is there anywhere in Northern Ireland I can buy these? They are available in boots and superdrug in England so am not sure if they are also available in the sames stores in Northern Ireland.

Also, based on all these events and my last negative test being in August, do you see any need for me to take another test  in the next few weeks or should I wait until Mid 2020 as I usually take a biosure test every 6 or so months.

Is rubbing or having a penis rubbed against my or someone elses butthole a hiv risk?
Title: Re: Paranoid or Reasonable worry
Post by: Ptrk3 on November 10, 2019, 06:11:56 pm
I'll defer to Jim to answer your Ireland specific question (in case he knows), but "google" may be of assistance to you in the meantime.

The HIV would not be viable (as an infectious agent), as a result of "fingering."  The HIV is fragile and would not survive the ambient environment necessary in transferring from a finger into, or up, your anus.

Many experts recommend testing for HIV-antibodies six weeks after possible exposure, then at 13 weeks past for confirmation of the six week results.

If anxiety gets the better of you, test within that time frame or until your consider the test to be conclusive (if seeking guidance from your healthcare provider).

My suggestion is for you to test when next you normally would (presuming you follow safer-sex guidelines in future).

In the meantime, you may wish to access this link for a fuller understanding of how the HIV is transmitted:

Title: Re: Paranoid or Reasonable worry
Post by: Jim Allen on November 10, 2019, 08:06:15 pm

Firstly I agree with Ptrk that with the exception of a theoretical concern about giving a BJ that does not warrant testing, the rest of your concerns simply lack exposure or the biological conditions required for HIV to transmit. 

I'm not one to pretend or recommend testing outside of standard yearly routine over nothing or anxiety, simply because it is a poor coping strategy people can fall into.  Anyhow, if this was your only activities there is no reason to stress about HIV, so do try to relax.  ;)

I live in a place called Meath in Ireland however I can only preform self testing with a home HIV kit when I work in the UK every few months. Is there anywhere in Northern Ireland I can buy these?

I have to be honest that I have not seen or heard of it being on sale in the North although looking at the below link it does suggest there is a location that sells them in Derry.  https://hivselftest.co.uk/a/store-locator

In the South, it's mainly paid service through the GP but there are some free HIV & STI Testing locations http://man2man.ie/testing-support/testing-map/ None in
Co.Meath though.

Hope that helps you find what you are looking for, ill add that now PrEP is available in Ireland you should give this some thought as an additional layer or HIV prevention https://www.hivireland.ie/hiv/prevention/prep-2/

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid HIV infection:
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, every time, no exceptions.  Consider starting PrEP as an additional layer of HIV prevention going forward.

Keep in mind that some sexual practices which may be described as safe in terms of HIV might still pose a risk for transmission of other far easier to acquire STI's, so please do get fully tested regularly and at least yearly for all STI's including but not limited to HIV and test more frequently if unprotected intercourse occurs

Also, note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms and the only way of knowing is by testing.

More information on HIV Basics, PEP, TaSP and Transmission can be found through the links in my signature.

Kind regards


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Title: Re: Paranoid or Reasonable worry
Post by: jaycoombs84 on November 11, 2019, 09:39:04 am
Thanks Jim and Prtk3. Appreciate both your comments and will try relax with my hiv anxiety.

I'm not sure why but I've really started to panic about hiv in recent months even tho my activities are no more risky then they would have been in the past 20 years.

I never have intercourse without a condom, never take cum in my mouth or bottom (low pain threshold) it's just things like potential cum on fingers and thinking I've every symptom under the sun days after I have sex.

It's clearly a mental thing rather than a physical thing. I overthink every headache or muscle ache may be caused by HIV just because I am a sexually active MSM.
Title: Re: Paranoid or Reasonable worry
Post by: Jim Allen on November 11, 2019, 09:58:36 am
You're welcome.

If your fears continue I would recommend talking to someone like a therapist about anxiety & fears particularly when it's related to sex and/or relationships. As I am sure you are aware of the stigma about sex in general within Ireland does not help much when it comes to our fears.

Anyhow, test as every sexually active adult should at least yearly out of standard routine for HIV and far easier to acquire STI's.

Best, Jim