POZ Community Forums

Main Forums => Pre-HAART Long-Term Survivors => Topic started by: rondrond on April 29, 2008, 12:26:09 am

Title: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on April 29, 2008, 12:26:09 am
I decided to tackle this hospital bill I got from JPS(Tarrant County Hospital) when I had my DVT/PE. I went to the admitting office where they do classifications and where, back in August, I had spent a day with Michelle, who told me that I had signed up for the monthly payment program. I advised that when I had signed that, I had been woken up, was groggy, scared, not knowing what was going on in my life, with my health, had 'died' and been brought back, was being told that my lungs were full of blood clots and that I could still 'die',  and then here was this lady going.."blah,blah,blah,.here sign," so I signed. So, upon release from the hospital, back in August 07, I told Michelle that I could not pay, was not working since the DVT and had lost my business/job and was filing for SSDI. I emptied my 'Life in a Bag" on her desk and told her to take what she needed, which she took my bank statements, retirement account and stocks and determined that I had too much money for assistance...at this time. As the money/assetts dwindled, come back in and she would reclassify me and get the debt taken care of.
So, there I was,today, 9 months later,  and this lady says, "oh, Michelle doesn't work here anymore, and we don't do that here anymore...0.0 ...you need to go to the financial building which is not even in the hopital anymore but in some building two blocks away. So, I go, as this building is also where you need to get reclassified, and I need to be classified to get this oral surgery done. (remember, the dental visit the other day?) So, I'm thinking that I am going to be super efficient and kill two birds with one stone. .. And there is a line from the front of the building to the back.   :-\So, I'm in line and to pass the time I start reading this paperwork and right there on the bottom it says," call to schedule an appointment." o.o....so I ask some people in line and I get verification that, yes, you have to have a scheduled appointment, So, I go to the parking lot and call, and sort of casually say" I need to schedule an appointment for today, in the next few minutes, if possible, as I'm out in your parking lot right now and what with gas being $3.50/gal I thought you might have an opening" ;D...so....I have an appointment on Saturday at 530pm to be reclassified for oral surgery(and this will be a referral from the Aids Clinic)  and hopefully a sweetheart will be there who can help me with this hospital bill because:
It is now gone to collection because I did not make a payment in February or March because I did not receive a billing statement from them, which is no excuse and I should have called. But, I say, I am not in my right mind as my toy box of life has been turned upside down and all of my toys have been scattered all over the floor and I can't find some of them...and I am just not thinking too clearly right now. ... just like at the time I signed that payment program...I was not in my right frame of mind to make an informed decision... :'(
And then some say, just blow it off, what can they do? and I say..".screw up my stellar credit rating that I have worked so hard for." and then I think, well, if it's gone to collections my credit score had probably already taken a hit... :'(
So, I check my credit score and it's still at 802 and I think, are detrimental hospital/medical bills shown on a credit score?....and then maybe, it hasn't had time to show up....and then, maybe I'm beating a dead horse....
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: BT65 on April 29, 2008, 08:23:08 am
Wow, Rond.  What a tiring day.  I really don't know how to advise you about your hospital bill, because I would just personally not care.  But, that comes from me living on SSDI for years, and realizing my credit will never be what it was, and who cares anyway.  It's not like I'm in the market to buy a house, or car, or anything else.  I filed bankrupcy when I got on SSDI because I couldn't afford to pay my then-debts. 

But, I understand we're all at different points in our lives.  I agree that, you definitely weren't in the right frame of mind when you signed that paperwork about re-payment.  Do you have any of your medical records?  That might help. 

Yes, I remember the dentist appointment you had.  I hope you get that taken care of soon, to find out what exactly that spot is and to relieve your mind.  Good luck getting this mess sorted out and please let us know what happens.
  Luv,
Betty
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: AlanBama on April 29, 2008, 10:13:46 am
Ron,

This really sounds like a big mess.   I hope you are able to meet with someone who can help you straighten it out.

Betty, it's amazing how similar my attitude about most things AIDS-related is to yours!  Like you, I filed for bankruptcy a long time ago, my credit will never be what it was.   Credit collectors are not nearly as aggravating now as they used to be, since the advent of caller ID.   Ignore them.   I quit worrying about medical bills eons ago.   I send $10 a month to my dental clinic to "keep me in good standing".

I used to have this great letter my caseworker at AID Atlanta provided me with back in the early 90's to send to creditors.  It said something to the effect of "I have an AIDS diagnosis.   SSDI is my only form of income, which cannot be garnished or attached in any way.   I am judgement-proof."  (or something along those lines)  It worked well for me.

Wishing you the best Ron.  :)

hugs, Alan
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on April 29, 2008, 10:40:36 am
I like your caseworker. If you don't mind, ';ll just copy that down and add it to my 'repertoire' as I am organizing my defense against any onslaught of debt collectors as I have decided to not pay it and .".Katie, bar the door, and stop answering those 'out of area', 1-800 #'s, and if you do, I'm not home, and won't be home....you don't know where i'm at.....a suitcase seems to be missing... ;D

Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: pozniceguy on April 29, 2008, 10:50:27 am
Ron  so sorry to hear about the whole situation... especially the " make an appointment" thing where they then have you wait in line with 100 others who "made an appointment"   I have also found that if you can get through the "gate keepers " and ask specific questions before you go....like is this the person who can do......?  or do I need to see another person to do ......?  it usually cuts down the unnecessary trips/calls to those who can actually  "help"   and speeds up the whole issue.......I went through nearly a year of BS from SS when applying for disability  got wrong info from three persons before I was steered to correct person/office..."gatekeepers" job is to keep calls short and only answer direct questions...if you don't know enough to ask they don't volunteer....

Nick
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on April 29, 2008, 11:15:01 am
thank you pozniceguy,
I don't know why, but I know everything you have suggested and have used 'gatekeeper' skills when getiing help for my sisiter. Somehow, when it comes to helping myself, those skills just fall out my ear and onto the floor and I always think after I'm driving away and the street, "now why didn't I ask or do this or that?" for some reason it is just harder to do those things when its myself I'm doing for rather than for others..(you can be too close to the problem to see it clearly)
hmm. It seems that I am rambling and being incoherent, I can't find the words for my thoughts. :-\
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: BT65 on April 29, 2008, 12:04:31 pm
I agree with Alan.  Thank heavens for caller ID!  Those 800 calls do get ignored now; what are they going to do, really? 

Rond, I think we want to "fix" things for other people; and sometimes we work at it tirelessly.  Don't fret; after you've been in the system awhile, you'll learn how to do it for yourself also.  Afterall, we are our best advocates (most of the time).
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on April 29, 2008, 01:20:24 pm
I agree with Alan.  Thank heavens for caller ID!  Those 800 calls do get ignored now; what are they going to do, really? 

Rond, I think we want to "fix" things for other people; and sometimes we work at it tirelessly.  Don't fret; after you've been in the system awhile, you'll learn how to do it for yourself also.  Afterall, we are our best advocates (most of the time).

betty you are spot on  :)......I've been in the system for the last 10 years, and I've learned a lotta things (at least how to get what I need)
it's not that hard to do, the trick is to have the system work for you, NOT let the system work you, it's bad enough just having AIDS and being SICK from it, the longer your in the system, it becomes a GREAT learning curve.......
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: AlanBama on April 29, 2008, 09:37:43 pm
So right, denb......you do have to WORK the system, and not let it work you over!

I have been lucky to have a good "teacher" to guide me through the maze and confusion that exists in this State.

Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on April 29, 2008, 10:20:40 pm
So right, denb......you do have to WORK the system, and not let it work you over!

I have been lucky to have a good "teacher" to guide me through the maze and confusion that exists in this State.



It's like that EVERYWHERE...........(the maze and confusion).......it exists in just about ever State..........some states you have to be on a waiting list just to get ADAP!.........you could DIE before you even get them  :(
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: AndyArrow on April 30, 2008, 03:21:25 am
I completely understand about the maze and confusion you have to go through to get help.  In my case often the caseworkers aren't sure what to do at first since I don't qualify for SSDI.  I worked for a "quasi-government" agency (that's how it's offically listed) and didn't pay into Social Security.  I get railroad retirement disability which is just different enough to cause mass confusion when I encounter some new caseworker or financial department and their forms don't have a nice little box that I fit into.  I've gotten some hospital and doctors bills waived but others demand payment.  I just wish them luck in getting something from me that I don't have to give.

Good luck in getting this resolved and especially with your upcoming dentist appointment.

AA
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on April 30, 2008, 06:49:41 am
Thanks Andy,
my sister just says.."well, they can't get blood from a turnip"..

I seem to have had it pretty easy since my first walk-in at the Aids Outreach Center, to Aids Interfaith, to PMC(Preventative Medical Clinic at Tarrant County Health..everything has just flowed...everyone has been real nice and ..helpful..I haven't had to like wait in long lines with a crowd of angry, impatient people. My caseworker, Paula, is so wonderful...she helps with paperwork, and it goes through with no hitches, and she is available...I can call and if I get her machine, she returns my call within 10 minutes....and I have really been at ease with everything I have been asked to do. (I guess you could say that I have been spoiled rotten..in a way) This tooth and the resulting referral to an agency outside of their 'realm' has been a 'showstopper' and I am reminded that there is another side to the health system that is not pretty.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on April 30, 2008, 10:21:38 am
I completely understand about the maze and confusion you have to go through to get help.  In my case often the caseworkers aren't sure what to do at first since I don't qualify for SSDI.  I worked for a "quasi-government" agency (that's how it's offically listed) and didn't pay into Social Security.  I get railroad retirement disability which is just different enough to cause mass confusion when I encounter some new caseworker or financial department and their forms don't have a nice little box that I fit into.  I've gotten some hospital and doctors bills waived but others demand payment.  I just wish them luck in getting something from me that I don't have to give.

Good luck in getting this resolved and especially with your upcoming dentist appointment.

AA

How come you don't have MEDICARE? it pays 80%...........seems to me that your Railroad Retirement would qualify for that.........also depending on how much your RR is, you could also qualify STATE MEDICADE, they would pick up the 20% left over and would pay the MEDICARE PREMUIMS part A, B and D.........and I have RYAN WHITE, it takes care of all my dental needs.............also depending on your income, you could qualify for SEC 8 HUD rental assistance, that pays about almost half of your rent.............then, there's HEP, that pays for half of your gas & electric bill......all of this depends on just how low your imcome is.........I'm 150% to 200% below the federal poverty line, so I get most all of this help....and I'm Very Greatfull I do.........I would be Homeless if NONE of these services were there for me......................just a few things to consider?
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: BT65 on April 30, 2008, 10:29:09 am
Den, Andy does have Medicaid, but his spend-down is $900-something dollars/month.  We live in the same state (Indiana) and the system here is totally screwed.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on April 30, 2008, 10:36:19 am
Den, Andy does have Medicaid, but his spend-down is $900-something dollars/month.  We live in the same state (Indiana) and the system here is totally screwed.

Yeah.........every State is different, depends on how well you local and State Govt. manages it Federal Funding............if INDIANA is that Bad, something is not RIGHT with how your State GOVT. runs things...........INDY must be firends with GW BUSH, and if that's the case, that's too bad
I hope your state Govt. gets better, if not, a lott more people with AIDS will DIE, and not get the fair treatmant and funding they need.......what a SHAME  :(  this really make me MAD  :-X
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: BT65 on April 30, 2008, 10:55:57 am
Yeah.........every State is different, depends on how well you local and State Govt. manages it Federal Funding............if INDIANA is that Bad, something is not RIGHT with how your State GOVT. runs things...........INDY must be firends with GW BUSH, and if that's the case, that's too bad
I hope your state Govt. gets better, if not, a lott more people with AIDS will DIE, and not get the fair treatmant and funding they need.......what a SHAME  :(  this really make me MAD  :-X

Well Den, here in Hoosierville, our governor (Mitch "the Bitch" Daniels) sold all the state welfare agencies to private companies.  Therefore, now we have seven different kinds of Medicaid that no one can figure out.  Oh and of course, Daniels is a staunch Republican; totally right-wing.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on April 30, 2008, 11:09:51 am
Well Den, here in Hoosierville, our governor (Mitch "the Bitch" Daniels) sold all the state welfare agencies to private companies.  Therefore, now we have seven different kinds of Medicaid that no one can figure out.  Oh and of course, Daniels is a staunch Republican; totally right-wing.

That's SAD.......... :'(  in the State I live in New Mexico........if you make less than $2,200 a month........your POOR............that's right anything less than that, your livivng in POVERTY...........I make 1,400 a month ( and that's not much)....so I'm WAY BELOW in State Poverty Level about $800 SHORT.........so, I can get a lotta help & assitance ,I just couldn't IMAGINE what it would be like to make anything less than what I do, it would be HELL to live on anything less   :-[
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on April 30, 2008, 01:11:30 pm
If I get what this annual statement I get from Social Security every year says: If you are disabled, you will recieve $$$$$$...I will be ok.....that is if I get SSDI before my accounts hit 000.000.... :( and then goes into the negative.. :'( 

Well, this Gabapentin..I don't know. My toes are still numb, and it has been almost a month now (geez, time flies) Every time I see the Dr I chirrup.."my toes are still numb"..and they do not raise the dosage. Maybe they know something I don't because :

yesterday, I started noticing that my right foot (which has the numb toes (and my DVT was on the right leg) especially along the big toe to the ball of my foot is starting to have sharp spasms. Today it has been going on for the last 2 hours. Each spasm lasts about 20 seconds...I lift my heel and push the ball of my foot into the floor which seems to bring almost instant relief (playing doctor ron,  here) So, could this be the Gabapentin trying to do its job, or is it just going to be something else my aging body has decided to torment me with?(congratulations, you turned 55 in March...here's a belated birthday gift..sPasM)...next doctor appointment is May 15th...I guess if this keeps up, I will have to make a call...
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on April 30, 2008, 05:11:23 pm
If I get what this annual statement I get from Social Security every year says: If you are disabled, you will recieve $$$$$$...I will be ok.....that is if I get SSDI before my accounts hit 000.000.... :( and then goes into the negative.. :'( 

CORRECTION to my last post  ;D

The MAX SSDI benefit (back in 1998) that you can get is 1,499 a month....even if you made more than 50K a yr. like I did, when I worked 10 yrs ago.........so, thats about all you will get...SSDI will NOT pay you anymore than then the cut-off! ( whatever that is TODAY).....and it vaires by what State you lived in when you applied for SSDI....I got my SSDI  when I lived in CALIF. so, based on the 55K a Yr. I made for the last 20 yrs. I worked,  (back in 1998...that was my SSDI benefit amount) so, that is what they go buy.....your SSDI benefit amount may be a lot more and VERY different form what mine was  by TODAY's Standards and SSDI Guide lines :)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: BT65 on April 30, 2008, 10:33:11 pm
I only get $783 in SSDI, but I've been on it since 1994, and didn't make a huge amount of money then.  Yes, it's very tough. 
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on April 30, 2008, 10:58:48 pm
I only get $783 in SSDI, but I've been on it since 1994, and didn't make a huge amount of money then.  Yes, it's very tough. 

Yes but, you can get a whole lotta HELP, just by making only that.........if you know who to talk to ,and where to get it from  ;D

1. HUD Housing SEC 8 Rental HELP
2. Meicare part A, B, D
3.State Medicade, they will pay for your Medicare Premiums
4.Medicare Part D.....will pay for all of your MEDS, it's called extra help
5.ADAP the FED program, where you can get your MEDS for FREE, if you don't have medicare
6.HOPWA....they can help you with your rent up to 600 a month or more
7. Your local ASO, most of them have a FOOD BANK & Free services to people w/ AIDS......RYAN WHITE!
8. Your local State Welfare & Human service office.they can help you with your Gas & electric bills.........if you cannot pay them & Food Stamps too

just to name a few, there are a lot of other services too, but the list is WAY to long to memtion here  :)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: BT65 on April 30, 2008, 11:07:16 pm
Yes but, you can get a whole lotta HELP, just by making only that.........if you know who to talk to ,and where to get it from  ;D

Well, here in Indiana, I do have Medicaid.  However, I have a $130/month spend-down (so I have to pay out $130 month medical expenses before Medicaid will pick up anything).  I have a co-pay on my Medicare Part D plan for the meds, which I really cannot afford.  Medicaid will not cover what Medicare Part D doesn't cover on the meds, and I'm not eligible for ADAP or Ryan White because of having Medicaid.  It's really a fuck-fest.  Luckily, most (read: most) doctors I see will write off what Medicare doesn't pay.  The ones that won't well, too bad for them. 
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on April 30, 2008, 11:14:10 pm
Well, here in Indiana, I do have Medicaid.  However, I have a $130/month spend-down (so I have to pay out $130 month medical expenses before Medicaid will pick up anything).  I have a co-pay on my Medicare Part D plan for the meds, which I really cannot afford.  Medicaid will not cover what Medicare Part D doesn't cover on the meds, and I'm not eligible for ADAP or Ryan White because of having Medicaid.  It's really a fuck-fest.  Luckily, most (read: most) doctors I see will write off what Medicare doesn't pay.  The ones that won't well, too bad for them. 

DAMM..............sounds like your in the so called donut hole HELL............maybe you should MOVE outta INDIANA..that sure doesn't sound like a place I would want to live in  :'( you should look into what's called EXTRA HELP, medicare part D, it sounds like you could get that to help with the co-pays for your Meds, I sure would find out if I were you  ??? ask your local ASO about how you can get EXTRA HELP, they should know how to get it for you?
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: BT65 on April 30, 2008, 11:16:45 pm
DAMM..............sounds like your in the so called donut hole HELL............maybe you should MOVE outta INDIANA..that sure doesn't sound like a place I would want to live in  :'(

Many people across the U.S. struggle with this sort of frustration.  Whatcha gonna do?  Just keep going on and being orinary. ;)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on April 30, 2008, 11:28:14 pm
Many people across the U.S. struggle with this sort of frustration.  Whatcha gonna do?  Just keep going on and being orinary. ;)

Well for starters.........Apply for the services.....in the early 90's people fought long & hard to make them available for us to use........most of the people that did this are now DEAD  :'(........these services are YOURS, so you might as well use them, that is what they are for, get thur all the bullshit & RED TAPE, you have to be persistant, if you don't ask, nobody will care, it's up to you to get all that you can outta the system  ;D it takes a lotta phone calls, follow up's and some leg work, no body is just going to HAND them to you, YOU have to go GET THEM for your self ;)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: AndyArrow on April 30, 2008, 11:38:33 pm
Betty you are so right ... Indiana sucks.  Yes, I have to pay $942.00 everything month out of my disability check to pay for Indiana Medicaid.  I have applied for Medicare and have been approved but I won't actually start receiving Medicaid until June 09.  There is a 30 month period before it kicks in.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on April 30, 2008, 11:45:02 pm
Betty you are so right ... Indiana sucks.  Yes, I have to pay $942.00 everything month out of my disability check to pay for Indiana Medicaid.  I have applied for Medicare and have been approved but I won't actually start receiving Medicaid until June 09.  There is a 30 month period before it kicks in.

WHAT!!! That's sick  :-[ something isn't RIGHT in INDIANA.............so, what the hell are you suppose to do untill then?  ??? I don't get medicaid
all they do is pay for my medicare part A, B and D extra help, so, SSDI won't deduct it form my monthly beneift......that right, I get the $130 a month cuz it's paid by medicaid.............I don't get anything else form them, cuz, I make too much money for anything else :) all medicaid does is pay the premuims every month for me  ;D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: AndyArrow on April 30, 2008, 11:51:17 pm
WHAT!!! That's sick  :-[ something isn't RIGHT in INDIANA.............so, what the hell are you suppose to do untill then?  ???

I ask myself that question all the time ... then I turn to cookies & TV and try not think about it too much.  There is very little that is right about Indiana ... but since my stupid relatives all live here I choose to live nearby.  I also don't want to move and then have to try and qualify for another states medicaid and worry about what I do during a coverage gap.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on April 30, 2008, 11:54:49 pm
I ask myself that question all the time ... then I turn to cookies & TV and try not think about it too much.  There is very little that is right about Indiana ... but since my stupid relatives all live here I choose to live nearby.  I also don't want to move and then have to try and qualify for another states medicaid and worry about what I do during a coverage gap.

YES I know how that go's back in 2001, when I moved to New Mexico, there was a 3 month GAP in MEDS and services...and it was HELL getting any help back then, but, I SAVED some money before I moved, and was lucky to get a 3 month supply of MEDS form Medical in CALIF. so it wasn't all that bad as it sounds ;) would I ever move back to CALIF.............HELL NO, that place is the PITS
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: AndyArrow on May 01, 2008, 12:02:23 am
YES I know how that go's back in 2001, when I moved to New Mexico, there was a 3 month GAP in MEDS and services...and it was HELL getting any help back then, but, I SAVED some money before I moved, and was lucky to get a 3 month supply of MEDS form Medical in CALIF. so it wasn't all that bad as it sounds ;) would I ever move back to CALIF.............HELL NO, that place is the PITS

Smart Man!  I usually don't think about moving too much other than in winter when it's really nasty here.  I've always liked Seattle maybe I'll have to look into what Washington does for us poor folk.  Until then I'll keep hoping for a change in the way Indiana runs things.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on May 01, 2008, 12:08:21 am
Smart Man!  I usually don't think about moving too much other than in winter when it's really nasty here.  I've always liked Seattle maybe I'll have to look into what Washington does for us poor folk.  Until then I'll keep hoping for a change in the way Indiana runs things.

New Mexico is a GREAT place to live it's VERY LIBERAL HERE!! and Very DEMOCRATIC too  ;) most of the MOIVES and TV shows that you see are all made Right here in Albuquerque at the NEW  STATE OF THE ART STUDIOS on the west side, nice weather here too, sunshine 300 days a yr.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: AndyArrow on May 01, 2008, 12:22:18 am
New Mexico is a GREAT place to live it's VERY LIBERAL HERE!! and Very DEMOCRATIC too  ;) most of the MOIVES and TV shows that you see are all made Right here in Albuquerque at the NEW  STATE OF THE ART STUDIOS on the west side, nice weather here too, sunshine 300 days a yr.

You could work for the New Mexico tourism board.   Sorry rond, I didn't mean to hijack your thread.

Hugs,
AA
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on May 01, 2008, 12:25:57 am
You could work for the New Mexico tourism board.   Sorry rond, I didn't mean to hijack your thread.

Hugs,
AA

 ;)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 01, 2008, 12:38:24 am
You could work for the New Mexico tourism board.   Sorry rond, I didn't mean to hijack your thread.

Hugs,
AA

Hey, I don't mind. I love learning about exotic and faraway places. I also like learning about survival techniques. Since it appears that I'm going to live , I need all the help I can get.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: BT65 on May 01, 2008, 07:03:38 am
Smart Man!  I usually don't think about moving too much other than in winter when it's really nasty here. 

Yes, Andy, I always contemplate moving in the winter also.  Indiana winters suck.  I have a lot of friends here, though. 

Well for starters.........Apply for the services.....in the early 90's people fought long & hard to make them available for us to use........most of the people that did this are now DEAD  :'(........these services are YOURS, so you might as well use them, that is what they are for, get thur all the bullshit & RED TAPE, you have to be persistant, if you don't ask, nobody will care, it's up to you to get all that you can outta the system  ;D it takes a lotta phone calls, follow up's and some leg work, no body is just going to HAND them to you, YOU have to go GET THEM for your self ;)

Yes, I was among those in the 90's, Den.  Unfortunately, here in Hoosierville, you can kick, scream and beg and you're only eligible for so much.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 02, 2008, 12:33:59 pm
Oh Lord...'normalcy' is changing in my household again. Katie is getting a new wheechair today. It has been only been 6 months ago that we called and reported that the one we had was falling apart. Now..TA DA... and the phone rings and shatters the serene calm of my morning 'alone' time and ..they're here, outside, and need me to move my truck, and open the garage, and Katie is still in bed and it takes her an hour just to get out of bed and now, after a lot of exertion and manipulation from 'her brother' (when company is over or she's talking on the phone and "I" come up, she doesn't use my name...it's always  'my brother')  she is in this thing that looks for all the world like a miniature volkwagen and I'm.."don't sign, we have to test drive the thing"...so she is going through her 'day' only it is being fast forwarded  and compressed in to however long we can keep this delivery woman at bay.(because she needs a signature)..so I make her go to the toilet and get in and out of bed and drive it down the ramp and up the driveway.and she is giving little screams (which always jangle my nerves) and exclaiming that she feels that she is falling out, and I'm "it's the new cushion ..you'll customize it in no time"..and she's "ha  ha"...and coming up the ramp, she leans the back ..back as the seat belt is too small..(have to order an extension) and the chair starts to tilt back and she is screaming and the lady is freaking out, ...and we have just learned something...you can't have the back back when you go up an incline...and Katie is crying, uncontrollably (which always jangles my nerves) because she had not had any of her meds up to and including that 'Happy Pill' which I can't find...because she needs that happy pill , quick... and she is transferring  from  the bed to the chair and screaming because she has missed the new chair(she is hanging half in and half out)  and is going to fall on the floor, which is a nono as she is 400libs and it would take another visit from the River Oaks Fire Department to get her off the floor. (Which I wouldn't mind too terribly as they are all hunks, but I haven't showered, and my hair is a mess and I ahaven't shaved or brushed my teeth...) And I get under her and PUSH and now she is in the chair and the door bell is ringing and my back is not pleased with me, my bum leg is not pleased with me and now Cookie is here and I give her a quick synopsis..."she hasn't had her meds..especially that happy pill....so now she has finally stopped crying and we are getting used to her new car..err wheechair...and I feel jilted, because I missed my 'alone' time and the day is in FULL swing.....and my nerves are starting to settle down...and I'm thinking 'I'm her caregiver...how much longer am I going to be able to function in this role? And I had a brief visualization of two crazy old biddies, cackling and screaming at each other...I might need a 'nerve tonic'....
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: BT65 on May 02, 2008, 12:50:18 pm
Rond, after reading that, I don't know whether to cry or laugh.  You made it sound humerous, at least. 
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 02, 2008, 12:55:18 pm
well, I choose ...laughter...it beats crying...unless you laugh until you cry...which I haven't done in a long long time...I miiss it.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Ann on May 02, 2008, 01:02:19 pm
Oh Rond, you poor thing! Sounds like you could use a "happy pill" yourself today, along with a good back massage and a comfortable easy-chair to relax into afterwards.

Here's hoping your sister's new car... er... wheelchair works out and you find her pills!

Now go do something nice for you - you've deserved it today!

Hugs,
Ann
xxx
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Snowangel on May 02, 2008, 03:23:43 pm
I agree with Betty, Ron, your last post was funny but also sad.  You sound like a great brother, tho.

New Mexico sounds beautiful, is it humid hot or just hot hot?

I recently got a case manager at the local ASO  and in order for them to give you any food assistance you have to go around to all the food banks and have them write you a letter saying that you have gotten food from the food bank? Unfortunately,  I think so many people have screwed the system, they have us jumping through hoops now. Oh, the other one is in order for them to help you with your electric bill, you have to change your light bulbs and something else to ensure that you won't need help again next month?  Does that sound strange to anyone else?  What happens if you don't have a car to go to the food banks?  What are you supposed to do bring in your old light bulbs for them to see? :-\
Snow
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on May 02, 2008, 06:07:58 pm
I agree with Betty, Ron, your last post was funny but also sad.  You sound like a great brother, tho.

New Mexico sounds beautiful, is it humid hot or just hot hot?

I recently got a case manager at the local ASO  and in order for them to give you any food assistance you have to go around to all the food banks and have them write you a letter saying that you have gotten food from the food bank? Unfortunately,  I think so many people have screwed the system, they have us jumping through hoops now. Oh, the other one is in order for them to help you with your electric bill, you have to change your light bulbs and something else to ensure that you won't need help again next month?  Does that sound strange to anyone else?  What happens if you don't have a car to go to the food banks?  What are you supposed to do bring in your old light bulbs for them to see? :-\
Snow

New Mexico is very Beautiful..........it get's kinda cold in the winter (can get as cold as 8 below), but it hardly EVER snows or get's that way tho, The winters here don't last very long , about 2 months or so, Spring isn't very long about 2 to 3 months with TEMPS in the 60's & 70's..........Summer isn't that HOT it only get's about 75 to 85 degrees.........but in late AUG. it rains a lot and can get very Humid, but only last for about 1 to 2 months

It's that way EVERY WHERE NOW...........Our Food Bank, almost has NO FOOD in it, and most people don't even qaulify for it (you have to make less than 500 to 600 a month to even use it) I can't use it..I make too much! as for your Gas & Electric Bills go's the program is called "LIHEP" and you have to go to the Welfare office to qauify for it.........I've use it before, but, it's not much (only about 60 to 80 dollars) for 3 months, and I make too much for get any of it NOW ( they go by what you make and who lives with you, that's right they count other household members income too)
.......the thing about the light bulbs.you said, I'm still ROFLOL over that one  ;D.................it was too funny.........LOL
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 02, 2008, 11:00:47 pm
Well, once the day is in motion, it is in motion. I went to the bank to deposit some money in Katie's account so she could pay some bills. After leaving the bank I called her to have her verify online that the deposit was in her account as it was her account and for securtity reasons they did not even give me a deposit slip so I I could verify it had been put in the right account..and......Mom said "ronnie, this is your Mother".....well, that stopped me and I was flabbergasted...and after awhile I said "oh...well...so...how are you?....and hows your day?" and she said "do you want me to call Katie and tell her?" and I said ok...as I was on the way to the grocery store and driving down the freeway..and was suddenly very confused .and after hanging up..I shed a few tears as this is the third time in the past 2 months that I have called Moms number thinking I was calling somewhere else and it is concerning me enough to shed a few tears over it. So, I bought myself a new shirt and was looking at sandals, but did not like what was available, and bought some bermuda grass seed to reseed the front yard as the drought has really done a number on it. So that will be my next project....and

dang it..I just realized that it has now been more that 2 weeks since I started Truvada/Virumane and I was taking only one Virumane for two weeks and then supposed to start taking two and that was on May 1...ok...so tomorrow morning I will start taking two and call on Monday and see if this is going to be a bad thing...I am really getting worried about my memory.....
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on May 02, 2008, 11:27:17 pm
Well, once the day is in motion, it is in motion. I went to the bank to deposit some money in Katie's account so she could pay some bills. After leaving the bank I called her to have her verify online that the deposit was in her account as it was her account and for securtity reasons they did not even give me a deposit slip so I I could verify it had been put in the right account..and......Mom said "ronnie, this is your Mother".....well, that stopped me and I was flabbergasted...and after awhile I said "oh...well...so...how are you?....and hows your day?" and she said "do you want me to call Katie and tell her?" and I said ok...as I was on the way to the grocery store and driving down the freeway..and was suddenly very confused .and after hanging up..I shed a few tears as this is the third time in the past 2 months that I have called Moms number thinking I was calling somewhere else and it is concerning me enough to shed a few tears over it. So, I bought myself a new shirt and was looking at sandals, but did not like what was available, and bought some bermuda grass seed to reseed the front yard as the drought has really done a number on it. So that will be my next project....and

dang it..I just realized that it has now been more that 2 weeks since I started Truvada/Virumane and I was taking only one Virumane for two weeks and then supposed to start taking two and that was on May 1...ok...so tomorrow morning I will start taking two and call on Monday and see if this is going to be a bad thing...I am really getting worried about my memory.....

rondrond..............don't worry about such things.........you are only one person, so you can only do so much........ya know? somethings have a way of working themsleves out.................after 22 yrs of having AIDS and being on every kinda med that you can think of......I just take things one-day-at-a-time..........in the end.it all seems to work out.......you'll see , it gets better with time ;) I have good days, and bad days too ;D

Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: VM-Bass on May 03, 2008, 01:42:15 am
I am so sorry to hear of all your troubles.  I know very well the crap you have to go through at JPS: I go there for treatment as well.  It doesn't help that they seem to be making money hand over fist and not using it to help their patients.   ???  News article about the screwed up system (http://www.star-telegram.com/817/story/606891.html)

I agree with the sage advice of the other people here.  Don't worry about the bills, take some time out for yourself, and take it one day at a time.

Sending love and peace your way...a fellow Tarrant County resident   :)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 03, 2008, 04:24:28 am
Thanks denb, here lately , the bad days are hustling in and shortening the good days.. ;D

bass, I hadn't seen that article yet, just heard about it. Kinda makes me want to carry it around to my appointments and casually lay it in plain sight like  "I know what you did last summer".....mwa ha ha ha.... ;D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: BT65 on May 03, 2008, 06:13:10 am
Rond, I'm understanding more and more why people make themselves notes about what they want to remember.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 03, 2008, 08:51:44 am
Oh Betty... I know.  I don't dare go to the store without a list or else I will wander aimlessly down every aisle waiting for 'inspiration' to hit me...it usually hits me in the form of hardcore 'impulse' buying...".oohh..this looks good....We've never tried this..mmmm..... chocolate."  and when I get home, find that I did not get anything we really needed and have to go back. :-\ With that list in hand, I can get in and get out without all the other temptations...("just say no")  ;D
They are fixing to open a new Super Target Store here by Ridgemar Mall, which I live down the road from. It will be across from The Super Walmart they have just opened last year. I am predicting a 'price war'  and am having visions of filling  my bare cupboards with bargains galore.  :D

I now have sticky notes all over the place to remind me of this reclassification appointment.(I've already forgot about it twice and if not for the notes, my goose would be cooked.  Something about it bothers me...*it's on a Saturday...never heard of an admin office open on the weekend...*it's at such an odd hour..530pm....not only never experienced admin open on Saturday, but open after 5pm, and on a weekend?.... ???
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Snowangel on May 03, 2008, 09:27:16 am
I make lists too, but rarely remember to bring them with me  :-\

Good advice to take one day at a time.  You do have a lot on your plate and these things are going to happen. 

Can you call to confirm that appointment, it does sound strange.  I was so proud of myself for seeing my son had an eye appointment the day of the appointment.  So, He and I show up at the right time and  he didn't have a appointment?  It was the reminder card from the year before ???  They had re-sent them all out, I was probably the only one that didn't notice the wrong year.

Take care!
Snow
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 03, 2008, 10:27:40 am
oh, no..snow...last year?....well, you have to laugh at that. When the water department was doing their inspections of the neighborhood, I was arguing a point on our water consumption with him on the water bill and Katie goes.."ahem...that's last years bill." ..??.oh...never mind....sigh.


Yeah, it's today, saturday,  cause they called yesterday to confirm. Maybe they will be all laid back and casual... 8)

I got Mom one of those cards that you can record a message and we can't think of a thing to say we haven't already said... :-[
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Snowangel on May 03, 2008, 10:46:42 am
Geez, they must be really backed up!  Good luck with that, hopefully it will go your way!


What does the outside of the card say?
I will be 37 in Sept and I still make my own cards either with pics or whatever.  I know, corny, but my mother enjoys it :)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 03, 2008, 10:57:48 am
Since Mom retired she goes to auctions and buys all kinds of things, sometimes trunks that are unopened, you take you chances,  and she likes to take old jewelry and cards  and use them to make new ones....I don't know how some fit in the envelope, they are like in 3-D..

The one I got says  "It's Mothers Day, and you know what to do...(Inside = Not a damn thing..then you give your message and it plays a song = "Bang the Drum all Day"...

My step father has cancer and she is his caregiver and has been on duty for the past 10 years. She takes time away, by meeting my little sister and they go somewhere for lunch, or coming over here to 'see' how things are going...The card reminded me that we need to 'not to always work, but bang the drum sometimes and get away....
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Snowangel on May 03, 2008, 11:13:56 am
Those cards sound cool.  I love original stuff like that, that is handmade.

That is so true, as you know, it is hard to take time for yourself, when you have others to take care of.

That is a hard one! you know what to do...
 Nothing...take time for yourself.
Whatever you want...it's your day.
Let me take you.(???)

Mine are always corny and rhyme, I ve graduated from Roses are red, but not by much ;D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 03, 2008, 11:28:13 am
In school, I was extremely pleased to learn that not all poetry had to rhyme, it just had to have a rythm, as I would always have trouble getting words to rhyme. Then after learning this new 'technique', all I could do was rhyme..drove everyone crazy for awhile...

I've still got the cards Mom made as they are so beautiful, you just can't toss them. If I get a windfall, one day, I want to frame them and give them as gifts to other family members...of, course, I wil keep my favorites....


We'll probably wind up saying something corny like "Happy Mothers Day, We Love You"...
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Snowangel on May 03, 2008, 11:35:50 am
I never understood some of that poetry.  I can't remember what they were called.

I can't believe Mothers Day is almost here, this year is flying by already.

This year is going to hard for my Mom, she just had to put her dog down this past week.  Luckily I had made her a whole "Eva" book for Christmas. I'm kicking myself for not taking more pictures of her when she was here a couple of weeks ago.  :(
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 03, 2008, 11:48:29 am
   :( Yes, I know, my dog died on Nov 9th. 14 years old/ cancer. She was always my baby girl.

(http://img182.imageshack.us/img182/9500/350610426567872nw8.jpg)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Snowangel on May 03, 2008, 11:55:19 am
What a sweetheart!  Those eyes!

My son says "you have a very sweet dog"----he wanted me to make sure I let you know :)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 03, 2008, 12:03:03 pm
Thank You, I miss her very, very much. I notice your Avvie say  "your butt warmer". Darcell slept in my bed right up against my back..we were back to back...

and then there was Cindle....
(http://img50.imageshack.us/img50/5528/352759665593993we3.gif)

who witnessed Darcell's tumor erupting , and all the emotion and commotion of me trying to get a 70lb dog in my arms and trying not to hurt her.She died in my arms , we never made it to the vet...Cindle must have been traumatized, as she disappeared that night and I have not seen her since. :(
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 03, 2008, 12:10:19 pm
but..Cindle must have left instructions to these two black cats that showed up one day and 'adopted' us. I was looking out the window and this cat was in the corner of the yard looking right at the window, at me.
She has a little white vest and white whiskers. She is currently pregnant (or horribly deformed, or a might huntress who eats birds and squirrels whole as she is a low rider) and she is always in the front , facing the house, like she is protecting us...weird, I know...and I have never fed her, or touched her, but I do talk to her....the other is solid black and likes to perch on the edge of the roof....watching...I just look up at him and ..."well, what are you looking at?".. :D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Snowangel on May 03, 2008, 12:14:19 pm
Oh, How sad!
That is a pretty cat.
I got a cat growing up because someone through him out the window of the car while they were driving.  He used to love to hang around my neck.  His name was MG, after the car, he loved to purr.

My daughters middle name is for a dog I had growing up- Abbie.  I was an only child so she went with me everywhere, slept with me, my best friend, she waited  for to come home for Christmas vacation my first year at college and she passed.  I had gotten in an accident on the way and got home later than usual so I spent some time with her and went to bed and she was gone in the morning.  I was so sad and Thankful at the same time. Its been over 15 years and it still makes me cry. :'(

Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Snowangel on May 03, 2008, 12:15:26 pm
LOL..they sound like your guardian cats!
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: aztecan on May 03, 2008, 03:55:33 pm
Hey Ron,

Sorry about the problems you've had and the loss of your dog and cat. But it is cute you have been adopted by two more cats.

Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you.

HUGS,

Mark
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 03, 2008, 11:09:32 pm
Thanks Mark. Everyone keeps saying that I should just go get another dog...but I'm not ready yet. Heck, I still jump for  noises at the door thinking I need to let Darcell back in.

and as I lift my sword, armed and prepared for to boldly fight my lifes battles:
   I'm blubbering again. My body does not feel that it belongs to me. I am in shock. I went to my saturday appointment for reclassification. I had been having reservations about this appointment being on a saturday and all and when I got to the Viola Pitts JPS Center the doors were locked. (Ijustknewit, knewitknewitknewit)..and then I saw the sign: *for saturday and after hours*... and found this door bell and this small hispanic lady appeared and my process began. It turns out that she works a 3 day on 4 off  schedule , thus getting saturday... She was very nice and while digging in my bag of life for requested Income Tax for 2007, proof of residency, latest bank statement, I was chatting up a storm and threw my hospital bill in the mix...and ..she"s saying "ok, you are classified and I am also approving you for the Ryan White Program"... which at JPS is, I think the HIV/AID floor called Healing Wings and I'm like... huh? This means that I will have copays of '0'..(.that's ZERO), and I can't see this card she is giving me as I'm starting to blubber, and then she says, COMPLETELY off the record that my first classification application back in August had been done wrong O.O and that I was only $400.00 over the income requirements and that they could have found some program that would have worked and I would not have this hopital bill or have had to pay all the money out of pocket for coumadin clinic, lab test and coumdain..and the separate physicians billing statement that I already paid off...-.- ..and that I could probably cause some kind of a stink, if I wanted to...completely off the record...and she gave me a name of a contact to talk to about reviewing my first application, just in case she was wrong and missed something.....and I just maybe, might, get this bill taken care of and maybe, might get reimbursed..maybe, completely off the record, depending on how aggressive I wanted to get with it....completely off the record and I forgot her name (so she wouldn't get in trouble)...I would personally just be glad to get the thing cancelled and be reimbursed for my out of pocket expenditures that I shouldn't have had to pay. .....This really sounds too good to be true, so I have to let it sink in..but in the meantime...
*I have Ryan White Funding at JPS for my dental
*I have been classified at JPS for a year of *no pay*
*I have met another really nice person
and then the mail comes in and...
*I have an appointment with Prevent Blindness Texas to check out my failing eyesight....I'm going to get to see again and not have to go through my old age stumbling around with outstretched arms..."pardon me..I'm so sorry...what does this say?...do you know the way to San Jose?"...
oh, phooey on these kleenexes...I need to get a sheet of Bounty....
I am so grateful, and I don't know where to direct all this 'peace on earth, good will to men'...
 
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: AndyArrow on May 04, 2008, 02:14:17 am
Sounds like you got some really great news and met a wonderful lady.  Just the other day I opened the mail to 3 doctor bills that I don't have the money to pay but the fourth bill was from the teaching hospital where I have my esophageal work done and they were waiving the bills for my last few proceedures!  Yippy Skippy!  It made my day.

AA
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 04, 2008, 03:11:08 am
I toast you getting those bills waived. And may they continue to do do. You must have been extra sweet and charming and flirted with the right one ;)

ronnie
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Snowangel on May 04, 2008, 09:32:24 am
Ronnie,
That is just awesome!!!  I am so happy for you! I guess Saturday appointments aren't too bad after all :)
Snow
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 04, 2008, 10:17:16 am
In reflection, I have always seemed to work the night shift, or 'graveyard' as some call it, with a few 'daytime' shifts and have found that people who work 'odd' hours are a pretty strange lot. I embrace that strangeness as I was one of them. Night/weekend shifts are more 'festive' than days and I would be so 'bored' when stuck on a day shift. There also appeared to be a lot more brown nosing during the day. Having worked in management almost my entire working career, I was apprehensive about an admin postion that worked weekends...my experience has been that they consider weekends off as part of the job description. I am glad to see that there are all these different options of 'earning your daily bread', such as work at home, her on 3 days off 4 days,(which does require a small sacrifice of having to work a 12 hour day),,but I have never had an 8 hour work day. Every time I tried to get off at my regularly scheduled time I would be greeted by wave after wave of someone needing this ot that as I slowly made my way to the exit..even after having bolted, somtimes I would be intercepted in the parking lot with "so and so is on the line and wants to know.." I would supervise almost 40 people at times and to keep some sanity and to insure I could do my reports and documentation on a timely basis I had two signals on my computer. If someone had a non emergency type problem, and they saw this little dog that looked a little robot and it wound up and its ears flapped up and down and it moved its mouth as though barking and its looked like it was jumping and happy..that was the signal that I was available and open for anything..but if they was a purple demon with a wicked grin, that was the signal that I was feeling stressed and approach with caution. If the switch on his back was flipped, which made his eyes light up as though he could shoot fire from his eyes...that was the signal that I was mad, I had had it, that I was ready to take it out on anyone who got close enough...that if it was not a true emergency, and you aprroached with something petty or stupid, you would suffer dire consequences...not being a true ogre, I did have key personnel they could go to when my monster was lit....
With all that is going on with my 'evolving' body changes, I have done a pretty exhaustive search for one of these coveted stay at home jobs and they have proved to be very elusive if not just a downright scam....but, fighting poverty will be a future battle....
right now, my concern is .".are you sure that you have to pull this tooth?"....
ronnie(who is still afraid of the dentist)(they hurt you..event though they say it won't hurt, it does....)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: BT65 on May 04, 2008, 04:47:56 pm
Rond, I've never been able to find an upright stay-at-home job.  About fighting poverty, well, let's just say you're in good company.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Snowangel on May 04, 2008, 07:28:24 pm
I was trying my hardest to avoid bankruptcy last year and I posted an ad on Craigslist with what I could do.  I actually got a response and was working with a property management co for awhile.  I was supposed to work from home PT, but intially was going to go into the office to learn the system for a couple of weeks.  It ended not working out, because they needed me more than full time, and I didn't have the time or the energy to put into it. 
I had worked every shift too and had learned how to do pretty much anything except drive truck.  I like the night shift because there was less traffic, less people and less BS on the job.  I always wonder if those ads for mystery shoppers are legit. 
They have all kinds of new fangled shit at the dentist now from what I see when I take my kids, who knows it might not hurt anymore :)
Got anything you could sell on ebay?  You could make some money off that, if you do it right.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 04, 2008, 11:29:02 pm
I know that Jack in the Box has mystery shoppers. I was asst mgr and as they were coming through they had a checklist they were going down on key points Jack wanted to know about. I got pretty good at figuring out who they were as it was pretty hard to hide that clipboard. After they had made their purchase then they would come in and give me a copy of how we did.. there was a list of things they were to grade us on, and it was to be posted in the store for the employees to see how they were doing. You can go to the Jack in the Box Home page and there wil be a section regarding mystery shoppers.

It seems that even though they advertise for part time, they don't mean it..about the second to third day on the job, they start in on you staying later and working more...

"did that hurt?"..yes."did that hurt?"..yes..."well, does that hurt?"...YES...dentists are mean people...

EBAY....but...I love all my pretties....
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 05, 2008, 12:54:51 am
Katie does not like her new chair. The back does not go up and down with the touch of a switch, She has to reach back and pull a lever and pull the seat up which has twisted her back, irritating all of her dry discs, pulled the muscles and inflamed her rotor cuff thingy in her shoulder. She went back to her old chair saturday and sunday, but the damage has already been done, and I have done nothing but llisten to her moan, and groan, and cry, and wail with every.. single.. movement.. that she makes, interspersed with b_tch, b_tch,b_tch b_tch.... My head is pounding and very nerve is on end and half a bottle of Tylenol has done nothing. What has done something is when the clock finally crawled to bedtime and after she got in bed and finally went to sleep......finally, blissfull, sweet, I could cry (and I did) it's sooo welcome, peace and quiet.
So, tomorrow , while I am calling and setting up appointments, she will be calling these wheelchair people and I told her to give them an example of everything she has had me experience for the last two days....I wish I had a tape recorder, I would play it back for them...on high volume....set to play on continous loop..

the dynamic duo: ronnie & Katie
(http://img247.imageshack.us/img247/7708/575501352472143xi8.gif)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: BT65 on May 05, 2008, 07:46:39 am
Katie is very fortunate to have you, Rond.  Not many people would do what you do, blood relative or not.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bleueyes on May 05, 2008, 09:19:38 am
My emergency room bills showed on my credit report and I had to actually post a complaint since more than one person worked at getting money from me. All three persons sent in a report for the same month. Experian actually checked it out and removed the second and third report.
I was in the emergency room having a panic attack, and they go through my purse but, pass over my state medical card? So they send me a bill six months later after telling me there is no bill my insurance covered it. 
I can't afford to pay it. If I won some money I would. All my other bills are current.
I think things will work out for you!
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 05, 2008, 10:07:44 am
Thank you, Betty. Everytime we have a family get together, eventually everyone will come and give me an ecouraging hug and call me a saint.. I do not feel like a saint, but am grateful for my life and this is not the first time Katie has gone on these 'jags'....there was that time when a majority of her like 6 doctors and specialists went off Medicaid....she had no meds for two days....I was locking myself in the bathroom with a loud radio and silently screaming untl her meds were finally approved and delivered. It's amazing to me how quickly she can go from hysterical screaming and crying and,,,"what?, she asks, as I'm handing her the phone"...."it's Mom...."...."I didn't hear the phone ring"..."I know, I called her".....and the second that phone hits her ear, she is all smiles, and calm, and .....poor Mom....I use her a lot ;D

Ahh, bleueyes, the inconsisitancies witihin the medical profession, even in the same building, same department, they all seem to have their own agenda. Welcome to the forums, they will give good advice. They have helped me hugely....after you start to recognize their avvies ;) you will be out and about and come across a bump in the road and think..:"now what would so and so do?....

Well, right now, Katie is on the phone and giving her hysterical version of this electric chair, and she is doing it good..they are on the way to pick it up and bring another one....this poor woman is getting an earful...so am I...but, I have just taken some more Tylenol and now that she is getting her way, she should get over herself pretty soon. Her Happy PIll makes her so happy that she can't cry, so , when she gets the chance to cry, she seems to make the most of it. ..might make a banner to stretch across the front porch...WELCOME MOBILITY DYNAMICS....you've found it..this is the place....I could even drive the thing out to the curb with a sign on it..take me ..please..
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Snowangel on May 05, 2008, 10:19:07 am
Ron-
That really sucks, don't they customize her chair for her?  I thought they had to do measurements and stuff so they would avoid all that.  I hope the new chair is much better.  I agree, your sister is very lucky to have you, that is a great pic.
I can't stand whining or crying either, I realized this weekend how sensitive to sound I am or how much it can really piss me off, not so much the kids but my SO revving the engine over and over again, the static of a cb, really loud horns THEN the whiing makes me crazy :)
Have a good day! Hope you are both feeling better!
Snow
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: BT65 on May 05, 2008, 10:21:55 am
Rond, it sounds like you could use some pills other than just Tylenol. ;)

Bleu, do you still work?  Because I don't, and frankly, I couldn't care less about medical places trying to collect from me.  There's nothing they can do if you're on disability. 
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 05, 2008, 10:33:36 am

The Dreaded Chair from HELL....

(http://img241.imageshack.us/img241/8720/575711788477327el6.gif)
(http://img120.imageshack.us/img120/2275/575712294291315jv5.gif)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 05, 2008, 01:11:52 pm
The wheelchair people have just left. Katie locked herself in her room and would not come out. This ...woman..kept insisting that this was the only chair available for someone her weight, that the company would not approve a chair with everything electric, especially the seat going back as it could hurt her. Well, I pointed out,  the seat goes back on the non electric...what's the problem?...I had to point out that she had already been hurt when the chair almost tipped over and rolled out the garage when going up the ramp. That the seat is too 'small"...she gets in it and she is 'out there...she looks like, and she says it feels like, she is going to fall out at the slightest bump. *all I can think of is: did you watch Spiderman with the mad scientist who was taken over with all those arms? She looks like that in that chair, a puppet moving with no support* *or when your playingd dolls and you are holding the doll out at arms length and moving it side to side?..*  weird....
and then she went on about they wouldn't give her a chair that she wants with her weight....??...I stated that she has a chair like that "Quantum Jazzie, all electric" and when she got it she weighed MORE 6 years ago than she does now. She has lost weight,  but there is no 'confirmation' for her weight because we can't find a scale that will weigh her. :-[... That we HAVE to have the all electric so she won't hurt her back and I won't have to listen to her hysterics and crying because I was ready to go in her room and hit her on the head with a frying pan...and being her caretaker, I shouldn't be thinking like that..(I did not mean it, ... that statement could come back and bite me in the future) :-\...then she wanted the plastic that had been on the chair :-\  I had to point out that it was in the garbage, that my sister was incontinent and that it was in a bag of pissy diapers, that had been in the trash bin in the garage all weekend, I went and got the bag and plopped it in front of her, :o knowing that the aroma was enough to turn  a 'Golden Shower Boy" off...but if she absolutely had to have it, that I would go get some gloves and give it to her. :o...suddenly the importance of the platic wrapping became a mute point...so they're gone.... and took the chair away...and Katie has her caseworker working on another chair....
I just talked to Paula, my caseworker at Tarrant County Health and her advice is to get the Ryan White taken off of my classification as I already have HIV services with them...I guess this is a form of 'medical spam' JPS trying to get monies/services/clients/patients from Tarrant County...(I would prefer to stay with Tarrant County and Paula as she has gotten me everything I need with no problems)

ronnie (who feels special all of a sudden, people are fighting over me?)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 05, 2008, 04:50:34 pm
Someone asked..why a new chair?..why not fix the old one?
Apparently, Medicaid has it in their computers that these chairs only last for six years...this is Katie's 3rd chair. They are just like cars, and cost just about as much..and require maintenance just like a car. Katie weighs...a lot..so the shocks start to wear out, which makes the chair tilt, the front tire was coming off, the control was broken off amd was being held in place by an ACE bandage. *you know I'm a Queen because I did not use duct tape*
The first couple of years, they are pretty good at maintenance issues...but,just like a car...the older it gets, the more expensive the upkeep, to the point it is cheaper to replace the chair than fix it. Now that the chair is gone, the tension has left the house and after a good nap, I should be renewed. Then we will have the joy of experiencing the next char they bring. All Katie is asking for is an all electric chair, especially the reclining feature. The representative was giving us a runaround stating that they did not make an all electric model that would carry her weight.That 6 years ago she did not weigh the same as today. "Thank you for noticing". I said...because she weighs LESS today than she did then.  >:( I then pointed to the chair in the bedroom that was she's had for the last 6 years and said,.,oh, there is proof that yes they do make a chair for her weight.  >:( Then she tried to feed me a line of BS about the electric reclining would be dangerous as she could fall over. Again, I pointed to the new chair and pulling the lever, it reclined. NOW, what is the difference in the danger element of the chair reclining from a push of the button, or from pulling a lever and grabbing and pulling? >:(
   Oh, boy. Things have really been moving very fast in my life here. lately, and then Katie's life jumped onboard and I was struggling to keep up with all these changes x2. I still have sticky notes over groups of bottles of pills re: when to take and how many....and to think I used to walk onto the work floor after being on vacation and pick up any changes and still manage 40 people. ....I really think that I am missing some parts of my mind....maybe they accidentally got shut away and I need to reopen some locked doors in my mind and let them out...".hello?.., .come out, come out,..I'm looking for you" ....
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: BT65 on May 05, 2008, 06:51:13 pm
Rond, I've got two words for you-pill boxes.  That's the only way I can keep my meds straight.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 05, 2008, 07:14:35 pm
I will take your words to heart. There used to be a pill box in the kitchen until Katie and her 'Aide' got in there and 'cleaned'. It's clean, but I can't find anything. I would make a lousy rich person, being like Granny on the Clampitts doing all the work, as I can't stand strange people 'going through'...err..cleaning my things...and then deciding they like it better over there than where I had it. ...sigh..but it is clean and here I am complaining..I must have some sort of brain damage...because..I didn't feel like cleaning anything... :-\..I should be grateful..
YAY...it is finally going to rain. I have the yard mowed and planted the bermuda grass seed...well, I opened the end of the bag and scattered it around...turned my hand this lovely shade of bluegreen....I hope it wasnt toxic..it came off in the shower...probably have to mow the tub now....spent all day shooing birds out of the yard.  My "adopted' cat must be pregnant because she is walking ...real....slow........and looks like it is such an annoyance to have to be walking at all...no help with the bermuda grass seed eating birds.. :D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 06, 2008, 04:28:11 pm
Well, I have survived my 'overdose'. I might even have experienced a slight energy boost from it. (druggie ronnie, who LOVES having energy,  pricks up his ears from his dark cage in the corner of his mind) Because, today, I can hardly stay awake, though it is raining and cooler, which is perfect for not getting out of bed. Then, I did exert a lot of my life force dealing with the 'wheelchair' and the hell it put me through yesterday.

Diaherrea is still ridiculous and I have included rice and calcum tablets in my diet. I just don't understand where it's all coming from? The output is far exceeding the input...as I see it....

Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: BT65 on May 06, 2008, 06:48:12 pm
Rond, have you ever tried Immodium for your diarrhea?  There's also a prescription med for diarrhea called Lommotil, but that never did a thing for me.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 06, 2008, 07:38:02 pm
oh, Bettty, the immodium is these tiny tablets that I am forcing myself not to eat like candy.

Well, I am never meant to be bored. Katie has left on the MITTS bus to have an 'echoe' for her heart and the phone starts ringing and I don't recognize the number, so I can't pick up. I can hear the caller leaving a message and it is the neighbor to my nephew, Robert, who lives two blocks down the road. She ws concerned about Robert and his dogs.A Great Dane and a Pitt Bull.  Robert has just married on the 26th and is on his honeymoon, on a cruise and then to his most favorite place in the whole world, Vegas, We had just talked to him two nights ago and they are in Vegas now. So, I am working my way up the driveway to check the mailbox and a see a squad car of Fort Worth's finest and they are driving slowly and I just have a brain cell jingling and the message coming trhough is "they are going to stop"..and I must be psychic, cause they pull right in front of me, stopped, and asked if I knew where Katie *** lived?"...I acknowledged that she lived here and that I was her brother and..."what's wrong?"...I started envisioning a bus crash,....and he stated that Roberts neigbors were calling and concerned because they had not seen him for weeks, and the grass was high and his dogs were getting out. So, I set their minds at ease that Robert was on his honeymoon in Vegas..They asked if I had been by the house lately and I said "no", and was advised that the grass was up top his armpits, that the dogs were not there, though a neighbor has been collecting them and putting them back, and there was no water or food ...oh Robert....so I told them that I would see what I could do..which means that I am probably going to have to mow a yard to keep him from getting a city citation, or worse, the city will mow it for $400.00, and he could get in trouble with SPCA...damn it..so am waiting for Katie to get here as she has the phone with his numbers in it so we call and see :just who did you leave in charge while you were gone, because they aren' doing it"...officers stated that the dogs were not at the house at this moment and that they had strewn all of the neighbors trash (its garbage day) so  I'll have to pick up trash....
and poor Robert....he's on his honeymoon for god's sake, so I'll just have to take care of it....
damnit....I am not buying food for a great dane and pitt bull that aren't there to enjoy it...and trash bags for the streets trash...RO-BERT....
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 06, 2008, 10:38:31 pm
ya know. I thought that I was going to find a man somewhere, and we were going to move out to the country and have chickens and cows...and a garden...and just grow old together and just be a silly old queen...instead...
I got to roberts house and pulled in the driveway. This is an emotional moment for me as this house holds a LOT of bad memories. This is the house where Granny died in the front bedroom, Katie's husband died in the back bedroom (heart attack)...attack...this is the house Katie was abused in by her alcoholic husband, and beat with a baseball bat in a blind rage. (She is not in a wheelchair for health reasons) I notice right off the bat, that there is not a piece of litter to be found in any of the neighbors yards. Walking up the driveway I notice that there is a line of trash bags and they are all torn open and strewn all along the porch and down the ramp (Katie was in a wheelchair before we moved out to Springer ave). Either the dogs did this or angry neighbors had left a calling card. I had brought trash bags with me and collected and placed the garbage in the bins. Then I went to the side of the house where the dog pen was, not expecting any as I had been there now for 30 minutes and not been greeted. I rattled the gate and no dog came running. There was water in the tub, and the ground was covered in muddy dog prints. "Doc,,Doc,,I called, still no dog. Then I heard claws scrabbling on the concrete on the side by the garage and here came this Great Dane glad to see me.....I threw open the gate and stood behind it, but he was too smart for me and jumped up on me after maneuvering behind the gate with me.. GREAT....I finally got him in the gate and was figuring out how I was going to get him in this cage, that he had alredy got out of three times(according to the neighbors) . As I was wresting with him, my cell rang, startling me, as it never rings. It is for emergency use only and only Mom and Katie have the number. Doc, took advantage of the distraction and got away, and through the gate, stopping to turn and look at me. It was Katie, Robert had answered his messages and....his dogs were in Dallas at a friends house. This was not Doc...??....So, muddy ronnie stood looking at the muddy stranger sitting there as though waiting for me to make the first move. Inspired, I called, hey, Vegas, ..stay.....he took off running around the house into the woods behind the house...
and... Robert will be home at midnight tonight, and won't have to clean off his porch before carrying his bride across the threshold.
What would they do without this silly old queen?....
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on May 06, 2008, 10:45:31 pm
More than one great dane? wonder what the odds are...
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 06, 2008, 10:58:30 pm
More than one great dane? wonder what the odds are...

exactly..this comment from a friend:
Are you certain it wasn't Doc? It could be one of those amazing animal stories, dog runs away from dogsitter and runs all the way home for miles and miles!
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: AndyArrow on May 07, 2008, 04:10:52 am
Wow ... things just seem to keep piling up on you. 

I keep thinking what I would be doing in your situation and I gotta you I would be swiping some of Katie's Happy Pills and having myself at least 1 REALLY good day.   :D

Keep hanging in there!
AA
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 07, 2008, 09:56:54 am
I be in FEAR of Katie's Happy Pills as I have seen the consequences of when she hasn't had them :o :D

Well, those calcium pills may have built up enough in my system to have had an affect...So, far, this morning, I have had two sitdowns resulting in my finishing two chapters in my book, and just passing gas, no diaherrea.  8) Of, course, it is still early, and I have had this false sense of being cured before. But at this moment...i'm cured.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: BT65 on May 07, 2008, 11:46:43 am
Well, thank goodness for "moments," eh?   You know, just reading one of your posts makes me totally exhausted.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 07, 2008, 11:51:10 am
oh, lord, now I have diarreah of the mouth.. ;D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: BT65 on May 07, 2008, 12:08:31 pm
No dear, not because of their length; just what the content is.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 07, 2008, 12:15:58 pm
Crazy, isn't it?. 10 years ago I was giving away possessions, updating my will, and getting ready to go to my 'rest'....now, ... :-\ I can't find no rest no where...
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Ann on May 07, 2008, 12:33:34 pm
...this is the house Katie was abused in by her alcoholic husband, and beat with a baseball bat in a blind rage. (She is not in a wheelchair for health reasons)

Wow Ron, I'm reallys sorry to hear this - it's horrific. Words just fail me.





What would your family do without you?

Ann
xxx
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 07, 2008, 12:54:02 pm
Thanks Ann.
Terrible things happen to good people and good people do terrible things. It has been 12 years.....and the man is dead. But he left his mark in the world and the suffering he started...continues.
I keep telling the boys that Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.
Sometimes I have to turn it around and say."Where would I be without my Family?".. :-\
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on May 07, 2008, 12:56:23 pm

I keep telling the boys that Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.

LMAO that is great.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Snowangel on May 07, 2008, 05:06:45 pm
That is a funny and strange story, maybe it was Docs boyfriend or girlfriend.  Not like you needed more stuff on your plate, so nice of you to go to the house and check it out.  I hope things work out with Katies wheelchair.  Honestly, I can't believe the person even mentioned weight, I am quite sure 80% of thier clients are bigger since they can not get up and excercise.  Sounds like that person needs to find a new job. 
Hope you are having a good day!
Snow
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: BT65 on May 07, 2008, 06:46:44 pm
Crazy, isn't it?. 10 years ago I was giving away possessions, updating my will, and getting ready to go to my 'rest'....now, ... :-\ I can't find no rest no where...

Rond, I did a will 13 years ago.  I don't even own 3/4 of the stuff that was contained in it anymore.  I suppose I should make out another one.

Thanks heavens your sister has you.  And your nephew and his new wife.  Did you ever find out where that other Great Dane came from?
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 07, 2008, 11:17:52 pm
We have obtained many pets from the world of the 'stray dog'....There have been many a litter born in that dog pen, from a many Romeo wooing Juliette. Katie had an Irish Setter (a stray) ,named Daisy who had about 11 litters We had a permamnet sign to nail on the tree at the curb...FREE PUPPIES... with the daddy being anyhthing from another Irish Setter, A Rhodesian Ridgeback.(there was a litter that went FAST...they were beautiful, black with a red 'halo' and the ridge along the back...and my own Darcell whose daddy was a Golden Retirever. This stranger probably smelled the potenetial of a romantic tryst..probably from one of the houses down the road and got a whiff and came looking....what he was probably saying to me was..
"hey buddy, where's the bit**?"
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 09, 2008, 10:05:58 pm
This afternoon, the computer threw Katie out of Pogo and froze and then wouldn't let her login. She called tech support and for three hours was on the phone with this guy trying to get back online. I was asleep on the couch and awoke in the middle of this. She was completely mentally exhausted from the ordeal and I was not long in catching up to her anxiety as we are addicted to the computer. We admit it. We live with it. A tiny little item to note is that anytime the computer goes down or stops working...Katie is on it. I have walked in to a rising anxiety attack that begins....."I didn't do nothing..I didn't download nothing..I didn't...I didn't...
So she is feverishly on the phone explaining to this tech nerd that he has got to fix this ..today..as this is her brothers computer and he does all his business on it ..financial and pleasure.. and it just needs to be working ...today. So, he says it could be Monday which makes us both feel that we are going to throw up...but then he agrees to come out to the house before 5pm. Katie has already decided that it is the modem and that I need to go buy a new one. Followed by she needs to order these eye drops that the doctor prescribed for $15.00 for a bottle that is smaller than my little finger. Followed by UPS leaving a huge packgage on the front porch ...
ogre ronnie awoke with a roar and tore her a new one about spending money...."oh, sure, let me go outside and shake my money tree"...I refused to pay for the eye drops and she was on the phone to the pharmacist at the time of my tirade telling her that her brother had determined that the eye drops were a want and not a need...that if they were a need that Medicaid would pay for them as the doctor prescribed them.....I HATE this new Evervare she is on...everytime I turn around I am having to shell out money for a prescription that a Doctor has orderd that is not covered by Medicaid... WTF....the pharmacist told her to listen to her doctor and not her brother....so she charged it on her credit card..which if she doesn't have the money to pay the bill, I will end up paying for it anyway....grrr...the stress of computer withdrawal was running rampant and now Katie was crying and I was tantruming, so I called Mom, who calmed me down..and I go mow the back yard, and boy was it hot outside... and I've showered ...and then this real cute guy from ATT showed up in his cute little ATT uniform and said that he had found the problem in a control box down the road and that we were not the only ones without a computer and...I didn't care any more as he was so cute I just had to lock my hands behind my back to keep from hugging him as he was now also my saviour as the computer was back online and running faster than its ever run before,....
...so Katie and I have buried the hatchet and we are trying to record this message on this special record a message card I bought and it plays music and I push the record button and we start jabbering..:Hi, Mom, We Love you, Happ"....and the card says..."record your message before the song"..so I close and reopen the card which automatically starts to play this song...so I close it and applying my college degree, put my finger on the record button, and then push it as I'm opening the card and the card says "record your message," So we start jabbering and the card says, record your mesage, and we jabber some more...and the card says record your mesage and starts to play its song...and I toss it to the table in disgust and say, well, looks like we are going to have to write our message and she can read it while shes listening to the music...and then USPS show up with the gift I bought Mom and I hear Katie's look ."oh, so you can spend money, but I can't?"...so I'm experiencing the jar of jalapeno theory .."be careful what you do today as tomorrow it might burn your butt"...and Sunday we will have a present and a musical card for Mothers Day ;)
..as if my behaviour wasn't bad enough, the big package from UPS had a large label on the side of it..."6' lighted palm tree"...which ..it was for me...it was supposed to be my christmas present...and a surprise....as I had wanted one this christmas, (I love palm trees)....and didn't get one ;( so its in the dining room, in its box and I've lost my memory and forgot its there....

Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Ann on May 10, 2008, 06:21:04 am
hehehehehe.... doncha just hate jalapenos? ;D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: BT65 on May 10, 2008, 08:51:36 am
Rond, thanks for making me smile this morning.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 10, 2008, 09:15:16 am
OMG..after watching our shows Katie pulls out this magnifying glass I bought for her.. (now us..my eyes are really getting bleary at looking at close up things...far off is perfect...its just up close has me grabbing these reading glasses or that magnifying glass (I have an eye exam on the 29th) and there is a little card inserted that I had noticed and glanced at, but now she's reading it in LARGE print and it say to record your message, remove this card.. O.O ..
so she does, and pushes the button and says something and it plays back what she said....so, now we have conqered the mystery of the record a message card :D  It's amazing what you can accomplish with LAGE print, magnifying glass and following instructions. ::)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on May 10, 2008, 11:38:12 am
hehehehehe.... doncha just hate jalapenos? ;D

I love EM' also the RED and GREEN Chillies too :D...........I know, I'm not suppose to eat ANY of this stuff ( Due to my HIV Weak Stomach) but ,hey
you only LIVE once ya know ;D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 10, 2008, 12:24:35 pm
I have grown fond of them stuffed with cheese...Sonic Drive In/stuffed peppers, Churchs Chicken/bombers...and then there is this Souhtwestern Restaurant in Dallas that serves this teeny, tiny...little green pepper that willl make your eyes tear, tongue tries to jump out of your mouth and you have to use the provided towel because you break out in a sweat.....then...you ask your date..who has witnessed this and is horrified..."are you gonna eat yours?"... ::)...and you do it again, only the second time its even hotter for some reason.. :-\ ..so you have to turn your chair sideways and bend over and hold your head in your hands and suck air for all its worth... ;)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on May 10, 2008, 12:26:55 pm
I have grown fond of them stuffed with cheese...Sonic Drive In/stuffed peppers, Churchs Chicken/bombers...and then there is this Souhtwestern Restaurant in Dallas that serves this teeny, tiny...little green pepper that willl make your eyes tear, tongue tries to jump out of your mouth and you have to use the provided towel because you break out in a sweat.....then...you ask your date..who has witnessed this and is horrified..."are you gonna eat yours?"... ::)...and you do it again, only the second time its even hotter for some reason.. :-\

Love SONIC DRIVE-INS and TWISTERS too  :P..........OH let's not forget the TEX MEX  ;D us southwestern's love so well  ;) Hey rod, did you know that I'm only 500 to 700 miles away form Dallas....give or take a few miles  ;D "HOWDY PARTNER"  ;D.... I have 2 very good ole' buddies of mine that came from Dallas to Santa FE, but they moved back to Dallas ( Santa FE was too expensive for them)...........I miss THEM a lotta  :'( and they keep telling me to MOVE to DALLAS.....but I don't know......  :-\
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on May 10, 2008, 12:58:07 pm
Yup, magnifying glasses.....i buy mine at the RiteAid drug store.                                     
Well it makes life easier.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on May 10, 2008, 01:34:56 pm
Yup, magnifying glasses.....i buy mine at the RiteAid drug store.                                     
Well it makes life easier.

YES..I have a pair for myself and my other half.....they do come in handy  ;D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 10, 2008, 09:22:25 pm
Love SONIC DRIVE-INS and TWISTERS too  :P..........OH let's not forget the TEX MEX  ;D us southwestern's love so well  ;) Hey rod, did you know that I'm only 500 to 700 miles away form Dallas....give or take a few miles  ;D "HOWDY PARTNER"  ;D.... I have 2 very good ole' buddies of mine that came from Dallas to Santa FE, but they moved back to Dallas ( Santa FE was too expensive for them)...........I miss THEM a lotta  :'( and they keep telling me to MOVE to DALLAS.....but I don't know......  :-\

I've never been to Santa Fe, but if Dallasites find it too expensive, then...dang.....I live in Fort Worth and only go to Dallas when in the mood for 'variety' and ready to get in some trouble. I can get in trouble in Fort Worth, but it takes more work than Dallas where trouble is on every corner.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: BT65 on May 10, 2008, 10:14:02 pm
Yup, magnifying glasses.....i buy mine at the RiteAid drug store.                                     
Well it makes life easier.

Joel, just break down and buy some glasses, you old coot. ;D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on May 10, 2008, 11:47:27 pm
I've never been to Santa Fe, but if Dallasites find it too expensive, then...dang.....I live in Fort Worth and only go to Dallas when in the mood for 'variety' and ready to get in some trouble. I can get in trouble in Fort Worth, but it takes more work than Dallas where trouble is on every corner.

Yeah.................I know just what you mean...............besides........I'm too damm old for Trouble or Drama.......it's just SAFER to stay home and watch it on TV  ;D.............tee hee LOL  ;D I'm gonna be 52 this FALL and I've seen MORE of my share............in a LIFE TIME!
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on May 10, 2008, 11:49:18 pm
Joel, just break down and buy some glasses, you old coot. ;D

ROFLOL   ;D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 11, 2008, 01:05:16 am
Whats bad is watching Katie with glasses on, plus the magnifying glass and still squinting...I'm like... "oh, come on..."
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on May 11, 2008, 10:29:49 am
Betty
You should talk to Kurt.
He just rolls his eyes....I have at least 8 pair of magnifying glasses from Rite Aid distributed all over the house.  Some for reading newpapers...some for watching TV ....and some for the computer....lol.
But....Kurt just got bifocals and still needs a magnifying glass to read the fine print. So there.
I havent had my eyes checked for 10 years and need to go do that.
 ( And buy a REAL paiir of glasses)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: pozniceguy on May 11, 2008, 11:54:11 am
I have been doing the  "glasses" thing for several years...had my eyes tested many times over the past 15 yrs and the Dr always says the same thing...I could get a "prescription" and spend $100 to $200 for a pair of glasses  or I could just buy some 2.0 glasses at the drugstore..... I have about six pair around the house and at the computer.....

I even bought some at the dollar store for $1.00  that work just fine......

Nick
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 11, 2008, 12:22:45 pm
Whats bad is watching Katie with glasses on, plus the magnifying glass and still squinting...I'm like... "oh, come on..."

LOL Joel, Katie's are bifocals too, (I have Tri-focals, but the prescription is over 8 years old...next eye exam is on the 29th) ...

YET, she can still spot a water bug on dark carpet in a darkened room..."RONNIE...there's a bug and it's going to get me....get it...hurry.."

she claims she can "hear" them.... ::)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 11, 2008, 10:35:42 pm
Went over to Mom's to give her a card and gift and my little sister was there with her family. So I got caught with mussy hair and unshaved.
So. we had BBQ and told some childhood memories....I filled them in on some of my BLOG stories and after laughing, Mom leans over and says,,"you aren't using our real names are you?'"...and I'm like.."of course I am, how else will they know its you?" Then I stated that if I ever get published, I'll let them pick their own names.....and nothing silly or stupid....

If JW is not watching westerns, he is watching golf, and my brother in law owns a pro golf shop and so they are watching GOLF on this 71 inch plasma tv that JW just bought...he loves his toys...and JW always gets antsy when the party starts heading to the tv room as he can't hear, and then Mom will up the lights and he will start fussing...

So, Mom , my little sister, Terry amd I are on the patio taking pics of "Mom and son" and then Terry sees this tractor/mower,, a Cub Cadet ... under cover on the patio and she 's like "I thought Mom gave that to you"....and I'm like, she did, but we can't get it through the gate to the back yard and it won't fit through the back door of the garage..and ..NO, you can't have it cause she gave it to me, its mine .....I need to make 'friends' with the neighbors behind us and see if we can come up their driveway and into the back of our property....one day...(.believe it or not...I'm bashful...)

and then she shows us another one of his new toys, a mower that looks like it came from Star Wars...it doesn't have handles and it sort of moves on its own, a Zero Turn Cub Cadet...

and still she uses the push mower and has thrown something out of whack and is limping and I'm like.."I'll mow your yard, just call me...it'll be good practice for when I inherit these rider mowers, I say.. glaring at my little sisiter....

Katie stayed at home as we can't get her chair through Mom's doorway, one of the reasons Holidays and get togethers are held over here. She was waiting on calls from the boys anyway and I brought her some BBQ.


Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 12, 2008, 11:43:43 pm
   My caseworker Paula called and she has taken care of my reclassification at JPS and has made me an appointment on Thursday with a regular doctor who is going to refer me to an oral surgeon at JPS and then I will have this tooth taken care, and it's only been .....since April 22...hopefully it is what has been causing this unsightly lump under my jawline and I will regain a fresh,, youthful appearance...snore..wake up...I'm dreaming.....look in mirror....yeah, that was a dream....
I give up...when I went to the store I bought a new shirt..XLarge instead of Large and shorts 40 waist instead of 38....and a new pack of underwear...a size larger as I did have new underwear in the drawer, but I had bought them back when I was working and active and I couldn't barely get them over my thighs, much less my butt...sigh....guess I'll just have to make up a box or two and take them to the Samaritan House..
and the pictures taken at Mom's did not pass inspection...why does my hair look like a patch of snow has fallen on top of my head? I do not see that when I look in the mirror.... :o

I have found the 'pill box' and my first thought was "dang, this is going to be as much work as trying to remember what I'm supposed to be taking as I'm taking them. Then, I saw that it would be easier to open the flap for the day and count and if it was still there = didn't take it...gone = congratulations, you took it.

I am working up to my doctors suggestion of  "you need to increase your cardio". I have found my set of handweights in the garage. I have found these tapes I made of  'Body Electric" with Margaret Richards (if you never heard of Body Electric , it was on TV back in the 80's...i"m getting old)  who I taped as she also would have shows for people in wheellchairs as Katie has agreed to join in as I have to have a workout partner. Now, we have to take our before pictures, so we can have after pictures  :D  and then set a date to start.  :-\
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: AndyArrow on May 13, 2008, 12:01:07 am
Good luck with the dentist.  Maybe you should hang on to those new undies since you and Katie will be doing cardio (once you pick a date) you might need those smaller sizes.  :)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 13, 2008, 12:08:35 am
Somehow, I don't know why, but a little voice keeps telling me that I am never going to be that size again. I think it's the same voice crying out wanting to know why it looks like there is a patch of fallen snow on top of my head?
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: AndyArrow on May 13, 2008, 12:16:03 am
I have that same little voice ... she can be a real bitch sometimes!   :D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: BT65 on May 13, 2008, 09:11:01 am
Ronnie, I remember "Body Electric."  I believe it's still being aired on PBS at like 5:30 in the morning.  At least it was a couple years ago when I used to get up that early.  I even attempted to do a few of the workouts. 

Good luck with the dentist.  Better you than me.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 13, 2008, 10:13:23 am
Betty,
I looked and couldn't find Margaret  :( who I liked as I used to be amazed at how she could keep a steady line of chat going throughout the entire program while I was gasping for air...and I would be exclaiming.."MARGARET...as she pushed for just one more....you can do it"...

what I did find was a show called "Sit and be Fit" 5am on PBS, which I will check out...I googled and it says its for people with chronic illnesses...if she has a good personality and good music, I will give her a go (set the recorder to tape her at that time) .....(Margaret always seemed to pick the right song for the excersise..)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 14, 2008, 12:05:58 pm
Must be the weather. We just had a thunderstorm roll over and I got up, then laid badk down and was down for the count. then jerked awake and have a pain in my left shoulder and under my left arm, I couldn't hardly lift my arm.and my left groin...it's going to be my left side wanting attention day, I guess.... It's a little better now. I have a Dr Appt tomorrow. It seems that my body runs the gamut of everything that hurts, is going to hurt the day before the appt....the day of the qppt....nothing...dang...I hate it when these nodes hurt under the arm....
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: BT65 on May 14, 2008, 06:18:16 pm
Ronnnie, just watch that pain in the left arm.  We've had a few forum members on here with heart trouble lately (or suspected heart trouble).
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 15, 2008, 07:11:20 pm
The new shirt and shorts I bought an extra size larger....were not large enough .o.o.
I guess since I still have the receipts I will do what Mom and Katie always do and take them back and exchange them for a larger size. I don't know why I have such an aversion to returning things or trying on clothes at the store....the size 40 should have fit...the other shorts I'm wearing are 40's so..WTF?...oh, well, As I understand it, Walmart NEVER says no. I just have to break down and go to the changing rooms. I'm a big boy now and I just have to act like one.
  So, today I went to have my blood drawn to check my coumadin level. I was late. the appointment was for 9am. I was awake and moving and even styled my hair instead of wash and dry, and finger comb ..and was dressed and then, I just .sat..down..for..a..minute...to .catch ..my ..breath....and ...jerked awake at 850am. dang it...so I call and say that I will be a 'little' late. I head for the front door, but my butt calls to me so I  head for the 'head' and have an explosive moment for which I was grateful that I listened to my body as I would NEVER have been able to drive and hold 'THAT' in. And I come running in and get weighed. No change...still at 258lbs. Amazing. I still swear that the output is a heck of a lot more than the input..but..scales don't lie..My Blood Pressure was 134/94. Still running high. Then she could not find a vein. Having abused myself and drugs in my past, I always point to three 'good' spots which they insist on going where I know will not work...so I suffer through becoming a pin cushion and after three stabs they decide to listen to me and 'voila'... blood issues forth...My coumadin level is in range. While there, I was greeted by the Nutrionist. I am now considered to be 50lbs overweight and we are going to do something about it. So, I gave her our food diary and ..guess what? We're eating pretty damn good. It's going to be that cardio thing again. NO, I haven't started it. But I do have the hand weights out and the exercise tapes and I just can't seem to stay awake long enough to get to picking the weights up and the video on. ..dang it..alright...tonights the night...

   So I have a couple of hours before my next appointment so I go home and...just...sit...down...for ..a moment...and....jerk awake at 145pm and my appointments at 215pm. ..dang it....again...So, I'm racing down the road and I get there on time and the receptionist asks me to sign in . This is when I realize that I have progressed to needing to take my reading glasses with me everytime I leave the house as this page of blue with a large white square on it was kinda swimming in front of me. I lifted the page and the one below it looked just like it, so I ask, "am I supposed to sign here in this big white square?"  NO...and the she asks if I'm alright, and I say, of course, just having a moment....so, she signs me in on a blue line below the white square and peels it off making the white square just a little bigger...I could have figured that out, if I had had my glasses...sigh....Then this guy who was walking me down the hall had way too much energy. He was practically bouncing off the walls, but I kept my opinion to myself..."did you find an extra stash of some pretty 'lil' pills?".....and he wanted to know the reason for the visit and I stated that I just wanted a referral. So, here comes the Dr, and she starts to ask about my health problems, and I'm like.."do you really want to know? or is this another hoop?"....so I start from the top and go to the bottom and "she has my chart that they faxed over, another hoop?"...so I play along and sorta in a nice way say, "you do realize that I'm just here for a referral? That I am receiving treatment at PMC?" So she says, ok, I will give you a referral to an oral surgeon. JPS will mail me a letter giving a consult date, then I will get a procedure date, and 1 week before the procedure, I will need to stop taking warfarin and she will give me a prescription for lovenox injections..which gives me flashbacks to my hospital stay...heparin shots, in the belly, burning, bruising....so I ask, what I've asked every medical person where shots are concerned, ever since I was four..."is there a pill I can take instead?"...and the answer is, NO...but I tried....sigh...then I rushed home to my own Private Privy..
now, while waiting for this consult..will see what happens on the 29th with this eye exam....
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 16, 2008, 06:28:38 am
 Too many numbers to keep up with. My weight is now at 258lbs. I need to get to 205, according to the nutritionist. I think the only time in my life I weighed 205lbs...I was on speed. Blood Pressure 134/94. my heart beat.triglycerides too high...cholesterol is good...I went blank, too much input..damn those numbers taken when I first got there and had been rushing in because I was late. She took another reading after I had calmed down and it was at 130/80. ..better...but enough to get her on my ass about my activity level. I just gotta reverse this up all night/sleep all day. Guess I need to check out some of the support groups and get some one on one. Won't get my CD4/VL numbers until after Memorial Day Weekend. I understand. When I worked at AA, every Memorial day weekend, I added vacation time and would be up, up, and AWAY from here to Miami/Ft.Lauderdale, or Los Angeles. I had spent a week in Miami and was landing in DFW Airport when 9/11 happened. I never suspected that it would affect me in Fort Worth. but I lost my job...AA had a major layoff...I lost my insurance..resulting in my 8 year vacation from meds....and I haven't traveled anywhere since...though I have airline miles built up to go around the world. I guess I am just grieving the loss of my AA job...I still have places to go, things to see...and no motivation...
I need to be kissed...a long kiss...a long..ok, you got my attention but now I'm coming up for air kiss....
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: AndyArrow on May 17, 2008, 03:04:55 am
As one former airline employee (TW ... I still have my seniority date memorized) to another I send you lots of cyber kisses!

AA
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 17, 2008, 05:10:59 am
As one former airline employee (TW ... I still have my seniority date memorized) to another I send you lots of cyber kisses!

AA

I accept all your cyber kisses and send some back to you. I am just being a silly old queen. I've been going through this for the past 7-8 years. Every time there is a holiday on the calendar, I still automatically start a mental procesing of needing to obtain flight schedules, hotels, car rentals, ....googling 'gay Miami" or 'gay Los Angeles' or 'gay wherever'..and finding out what was going on while I would be there....and then ..."halt...'was ist los?...oh, yeah....I'm not going anywhere....well, whats on TV?....

LOL...my seniority date...Oct, 8 1996....I still have my employee number and my 'severance package' (I was in management...5 years....marvelous benefits for a 'party queen'.....something in that severance package still catches my eye and has me wondering lately..it's a thin pamphlet explaining my 'pension'...which monetarily is 'peanuts'  but the mention of 'flight benefits at retirement' section still lights my fire and has me wondering about...if I actually get this SSDI....will I be considered 'retired?' and that flight benefit clause would be actvated?....probably another 'dream on girl' moment.with all that has happened to AA in the past 7 years, I would probably call to stake my claim and would be in a section classified as  'lost...dropped through the crack' section.....but, it still occupies a cell in my mind....
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: AndyArrow on May 17, 2008, 11:49:41 pm
I really miss the flying benefits.  TWA seniorty date was 890116 (I started right out of high school) and my very first flight was First Class, non-stop Chicago - London.  Those were the days.  I would really try looking into retirement flight benefits.  Retirees board after active employees but it beats paying the regular fare!

Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 18, 2008, 12:02:34 am
 Well. I went to sleep @2am, trying to stop staying awake all night. And, of course, just lying down put me out and I awoke @530 am in time for my 6am meds. Then I read some trying to stay awake for the day shift. I jerked awake @7am. My neck was not too happy with me and I had not drooled down my shirt as the tip of my tongue was sore from some unknown instinct that had pushed it against the back of my teeth making an effctive plug. I forced myself not to lie down and started a light cardio workout (no weights) by swinging my arms and 'dancing' to the music on the TV...after 20 minutes, I hobbled over to the couch and did it right, waking up @ noon. So as to make another effort to to do the day shift, I brushed my teeth, grabbed the grocery list and headed to Walmart. I went around the block and turned back in the driveway as I had forgotten the shorts and shirt that were too small. This is a striking out in a new direction for me as I never return or exchange....I just give it away, but times being as they are, I steeled myself to stand in the inevitable long line that is always in front of the exchange/refunds counter and getting my money back, went up and down every aisle to continue with my cardio. halfway throught the store, I was to be found in housewares trying not to fall into the cart and bribe some kid to push me through the rest of the store...my hips, lower back and legs were just screaming.and the right leg/foot were swollen and discolored...."on a scale of 1-10, 1 being the lowest and 10 being the highest, where would you rate your level of pain?....10 
Got to the truck, unloaded the cart with several passersby giving me concerned looks..and singing my new theme song that I seem to hear a lot lately whenever I leave the house..."are you alright?" Almost thought that I was going to have to wash a 'special' load in the washer but made it after parking and running...6pm meds and made spaghetti casserole for dinner and now my tummy is full and I am still 'up'. Will try a midnight bedtime tonight and mow the front yard tomorrow. I've also noticed that I haven't washed my truck in a couple of months...well, it has been raining...and then there is another mountain of paperwork that has managed to build up on the table that I could go through...doing the dayshift is hard...my pillow misses me..and my body hates me...and it's Memorial Day holiday weekend...
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 18, 2008, 12:09:07 am
I really miss the flying benefits.  TWA seniorty date was 890116 (I started right out of high school) and my very first flight was First Class, non-stop Chicago - London.  Those were the days.  I would really try looking into retirement flight benefits.  Retirees board after active employees but it beats paying the regular fare!



Don't I know it. I always dressed in suit and tie and although a nervous wreck waiting to be called, I usually managed to snag a First Class seat by being dressed up and keeping my 'cool'. Some employees would look like they had dragged themselves out of bed and were bullying and demanding..."I have got to get on this flght"  I flew first class to Hawaii twice that way while some friends barely made it to third. After the flight they would meet me in the airport..."where did you disappear to?" ::)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: AndyArrow on May 18, 2008, 01:06:19 am
Be kind to the ticket agent when you first check-in... but really be sweet to the gate agent!  Flirting is always a good idea.  ;D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: BT65 on May 18, 2008, 08:37:21 am
Ronnie dear, it's not Memorial Day weekend until next weekend (hee).
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 18, 2008, 02:49:04 pm
Ronnie dear, it's not Memorial Day weekend until next weekend (hee).

I know .. thats my dilemna. Living in the past. in order to reserve a flight, car, hotel, you had to do thiese things in advance., though, once I got lucky by cancelling all reservation in New York...changing to Hawaii... ..when I was laid off, I recieved 5 free flights which at the time they stated had to have a destination on them. So, I randomly put down 5 cities, and they told me at the time that the destinations could be changed. So, in a hurry, I put Hawaii twice. Then I decided to go to New York and made reservations and bought tickets to a show and went to get my tickets and ....this b*** stated no way jose, it could only be used for Hawaii....I pitced a bitch and even went to Headquarters which was around the corner and still, got no where..probably due to the way I was acting, but my flight was leaving in 2 hours and I needed to get going...only my ticket would not take me to New York. Not one to beat a dead horse, I rushed home and got on the internet and dealt with understanding, sympathetic people and got NY reservations cancelled, with no penalties, and luckily got last minute reservations in Hawaii...
pftt...I miss my old life... :'(
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 18, 2008, 11:06:49 pm
  Another day on the dayshift. I went to sleep @ midnite. More like I laid down and waited to pass out. Then I got up @430am with my ears ringing so loud that surely it could be heard somewhere outside of my head. Could not go back to sleep, so got on the computer. After sunrise, decided to dust the living room. Katie usually gets up @9am so I was waiting on her to get up by playing on the computer some more. Whe noon hit, I stood in her doorway listening for breathing and didn't hear anything. I started to enter the room when she farted...so I knew she was still alive. I turned on her chair and hit the horn..beeeepbeepbeep and she woke up. I then went to get my haircut hoping Great Clips would be having a $3.99 special. Not only were they not having a specal, but they had raised their prices..$14.00 to get a haircut. I'm thinking of growing a pony tail to teach them a lesson. 
Stopped to get gas for the lawn mower and ..I could just cry...paid $7.70 to fill a 2 gallon gas can. I have two dead spots in my row of box hedges across the front of the house. On the end by the gate, we are going to lose a portion of the front yard for a concrete ramp and a new gate, so I dug up the two plants on the end and transplanted them in the dead spots. Then I trimmmed the hedges and vines growing on the fences, and though I was only going to do the front, I went ahead and cut the vines on the fence in the back as once they get out of control, it is a J-O-B to tame them.
 I have neighbors with chickens, roosters, and the Papajohns still graze their horses and there is a house hidden from view by lots of trees that two spinster sisters live in...all you see is a path going up through the woods...and they have horses...and pigs...I was pulling weeds from the flower bed and ..."cloppity clop, clip clop clip clop...it was a horse being ridden for exercise coming down the road...sets all the dogs off and causes quite a hullabaloo...usually they ride along the levy which now has a running, skatiing, biking, walk your dog track...you can walk along the river now for absolutely miles...some areas have a small park, or a rest area and there is a bird sanctuary which I've wandered down hundreds of paths through these woods and did not see one bird......many events are held along these levys...Mayfest just happened or still is, and the Aids Walk..
  Then I heard a roaring motor and here came a tractor and I had no idea where he was going. Got the front yard mowed and edged and washed down the front porch and rinsed the dust off my truck. By now my clothes are stuck to my body. Sweat is on a steady drip from all over my head, so I'm thinking this has been a good cardio workout for today. 6pm meds, showered, and while cooking dinner, my back froze. Pushed myself off from the counter and kept going. My legs got heavier and heavier, but I managed to finish cooking and finally got to sit when it was time to eat. My right foot is trying to cramp and my back aches, but ...I've done cardio. Tomorrow, there's the back forty. Dayshift hurts.

Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 19, 2008, 10:58:30 pm
This is my third day of doing the dayshift and doing at least 20 minutes of cardio. (I can't wait until my next appointment. I expect a clean bill of health from all this sweating I have been doing. I laid down at midnite and promptly fell asleep. I awoke ay 4am..and could not go back to sleep. So, got on the computer. 6am meds. Woke Katie up at 9am so she could get up and be ready for her 'supply' delivery. These are her chucks, diapers, wipes, things that Medicaid will pay for. The delivery man showed up at 930am and while he was putting them in Katies bedroom, I heard her exclaim that this was not her whole order. There were no diapers. Diapers are very important in Katies world and so she was johnny on the phone complaining as she had used the last diaper this morning. I myself have not figured out how this diaperless situation is going to affect my world, but I am waiting for it rear its ugly head at any moment. She will probably have to use old towels during the night which will increase the washload. I have to make sure I have lots of gloves as she also has another UTI. UN-believable.. she gets one every month. And since she hates riding the MITS bus she waits until both feet are burning while peeing....I did not yell, but I did let her know that this was unacceptable behavior and that she needed to call the doctor ASAP, which she has and they can see her on Friday. Now I'm shaking because it's COLD because she is running a low grade fever and gets these hot flashes anyway and turns the ceiling fan on high and the thermostat down 'a notch or two'. Then Cookie was here and they were doing whatever they do for her private hygiene and I sat on the couch and jumped up twice as I was suddenly so sleepy, all I wantd to do was lie down. I shook it off and shook it off again and then determinedly put on my hiking boots and grabbed the weed eater and headed for the back forty. I started the mower and it started giving me it's "I'm not feeling well" signal...buwaaah..buwah..aaah..wah..wah.The filter needed to be cleaned and it could use an oil change..seriously...but not today....'butch' ronnie has just about had enough for today....2 hours later, dripping sweat profusely, I had done the back 30, and satisfied doctors orders to having daily cardio.  The other 10 are going to have to be a special cardio, as there are these huge branches from the top of a cottonwood tree that a tornado knocked the top 40 feet off and I don't think my little weedeater will be able to handle this 'wildlife preserve that has grown up in this corner of the yard. And I don't own a chainsaw..but I did find a big stick that I could use as a machete...I know there are critters in there as there are paths and hollowed out spots in the overgrown brush and grasses. Hopefully it's some sweet, gentle kittens as I'm fixing to become a threat to whatever is living in there. If attacked, I can use my weedeater as a weapon., so they better watch out..I've decided to drag these branches to the the fence line. At least they will be out of the middle of the yard.
Showered, 6pm meds cooked dinner....why is it that my body pains catch up to me when I start cooking? My legs got so heavy that I could hardly move. The ever present ache in my back kicked it up a few.."on a scale of 1-10, with 1 being the lowest and 10 being the highest how would you rate your pain?"...10
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 20, 2008, 08:47:04 am
The bend in the road is not the end of the road...unless you fail to turn.

   So. the doctor thinks that I am a walking heart attack. I have High Triglycerides but my cholesterol is perfect. It has been strongly suggested that I lose weight by increasing my activity level. As sleeping all day is not considered an activity, I have made the choice that I don't  want to have a heart attack, so I have been working on resetting my bodies clock. I have successfully managed to get to sleep by midnite and sleep at least 5 hours before waking up. As I have basically ignored the yard, especially the back yard for the past ten years, yardwork is going to be my first line of attack to reclaim not only a semblance of beauty and pride that hard work can bring, but to lose a few pounds and lower my triglycerides.
    A side benefit is my eyesight was becoming extremely bleary. Needless to say, it was most disturbing and concerned me a lot to not be able to read anything placed before me without my eyes starting to water from the effort. Apparently, sleeping all day and staying up all night will affect your eyesight....your eyes need sun....I took this with a grain of salt until I noticed that last night, and now, I am looking at the computer screen and not squinting, putting my face in the screen, or using reading glasses. I do still need reading glasses to read my books, but the print looks clearer. Amazing.
   SO, I have reached a bend in the road, and have decided to turn, and its working. I am not having any side effects from my HIV meds other than a slight nausea, which passes quickly. All other side effects I already had before starting HIV meds, and were brought on by having HIV, Post Thrombotic Syndrome, neuropathy, back pain and this fatigue in my hips and legs that just comes on me when I am not expecting it, though a pattern seems to be developing ...I must be allergic to the kitchen... and cooking ...as this is when ALL my pains just seem to rise up and clamor to be noticed. I have been working on changing my diet, but its a struggle trying to buy food for two on a strict budget and then:
dang if I did not buy chicken breasts, cut them into pieces, sauteed in butter until they were nice and crispy brown, added asparagus, that I had cut up, added milk, cheese, spaghetti (I did not have linguini) and Cream of mushroom soup and let it bubble away. It was delicious but then, Katie started remarking how her feet and ankles started to swell and I'm like....no way...I don't use salt anymore, only pepper and NO SALT... and she uses that MRS DASH...so she blames the mushroom soup....I check the label and its 740mg sodium. Now, divided into two portions and having not added salt to any of the food I am assuming that this is an acceptable level of sodium...you have to have SOME salt in your body.... so, I guess I'll have to make spaghetti with butter, chicken, asparagus.....dang it....so I'm looking at these recipes and trying to think of something to eat that will not cause edema, conflict with blood thinners, lower tryglycerides and maintain good cholesterol. I think I'm getting a headache, brought on by thinking too much...can't blame that on HIV...
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: BT65 on May 20, 2008, 10:51:39 am
Ronnie, my triglycerides are always high; the doctor says it's because I'm diabetic.  I take Lipitor for my cholesterol and it seems to be doing the job.

I started exercising again (for the thousandeth time) about four days ago.  Now, if I can only quit smoking, I might get in better shape. 

It's probably hard to try to cook things without much salt.  Fortunately, I don't have to worry about things like edema etc.  Good luck with that one.

Did your doctor tell you how much to exercise?  I'm just wondering because "they" always say to make sure your doctor tells you it's alright to exercise etc.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 20, 2008, 11:49:47 am
Betty,
All the doctors say is light exercise and don't give any examples of what that would specifically be. I'm supposed to instinctively know what a 20 minute cardio workout is, or they threw it out there and I'm supposed to catch the ball and run with it. They did say not to do any running, something that would 'jar' my body as it could make a blood clot break loose, and apparently when on blood thinners running also bounces your organs around and could lead to internal bleeding, but walking is fine. pfftt...just thinking of these things makes me want to just go to bed and sleep. When you're alseep, you don't have to deal with these things. But, 'its not allowed' ...

I don't know what to say about smoking. I had a Summer of '88 where I tried just about everything you weren't supposed to do,...alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, sex... I smoked Camel non-filter (if you're going to do it, do it right). I guess I'm a cheap person as while in Drug Rehab, your 'squares' were furnished by the state and you had to stand in line ...then everyone started bumming cigarettes till I maybe smoked 2 out a whole pack, so I just quit, and never did it again...  "Hey man, let me try one of those Camels"..."sorry', I don't smoke"...??..."I quit"..."because of you"..... :-\  So, that is not an issue for me. I have had friends where we would make a pact that we would be gymn buddies and I was to be their 'reminder' not to smoke....ninety nine point nine percent of the time, after a workout, they would disappear. I would find them out front...lighting one up. :D

My cholestrol is fine, it's the triglycerides...I don't understand it...you change and do what your supposed to do and everything is supposed to straighten up...but nooo..some things are cooperating and others aren't... :-\

Good luck on your exercise program and quitting smoking. Maybe if I had a cam, we could go cam to cam and I could cheer you on..."you can do it..just one more.....hey...where did you go?....put out that cigarette....why is it all dark...did you turn off your cam?". :D

Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on May 20, 2008, 04:51:25 pm
Betty,
All the doctors say is light exercise and don't give any examples of what that would specifically be. I'm supposed to instinctively know what a 20 minute cardio workout is, or they threw it out there and I'm supposed to catch the ball and run with it. They did say not to do any running, something that would 'jar' my body as it could make a blood clot break loose, and apparently when on blood thinners running also bounces your organs around and could lead to internal bleeding, but walking is fine. pfftt...just thinking of these things makes me want to just go to bed and sleep. When you're alseep, you don't have to deal with these things. But, 'its not allowed' ...

I don't know what to say about smoking. I had a Summer of '88 where I tried just about everything you weren't supposed to do,...alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, sex... I smoked Camel non-filter (if you're going to do it, do it right). I guess I'm a cheap person as while in Drug Rehab, your 'sqares' were furnished by the state and you had to stand in line ...then everyone started bumming cigarettes till I maybe smoked 2 out a whole pack, so I just quit, and never did it again...  "Hey man, let me try one of those Camels"..."sorry', I don't smoke"...??..."I quit"..."because of you"..... :-\  So, that is not an issue for me. I have had friends where we would make a pact that we would be gymn buddies and I was to be their 'reminder' not to smoke....ninety nine point nine percent of the time, after a workout, they would disappear. I would find them out front...lighting one up. :D

My cholestrol is fine, it's the triglycerides...I don't understand it...you change and do what your supposed to do and everything is supposed to straighten up...but nooo..some things are cooperating and others aren't... :-\

Good luck on your exercise program and quitting smoking. Maybe if I had a cam, we could go cam to cam and I could cheer you on..."you can do it..just one more.....hey...where did you go?....put out that cigarette....why is it all dark...did you turn off your cam?". :D



Ronnie...................good cardio........here's what I do every other day..........I ride my 12 speed bike 9 miles.........it takes me about an hour, 45 mins. to do, if I take my time, and drink lots of gatorade............also...I wieght train on a Blow-flex every other day...........now dispite all of this, my triglycerides are still VERY HIGH, and I know it's not my diet, cuz, I only eat 1,500 to 2000 calories a day, and LIKE YOU I don't put salt on ANYTHING I eat.....so it has to be my meds  ???  anywho........it must be working......I'm 185Lbs to 190lbs and at 6 foot 3, so, I'm not over wieght
even 20 min. of any kinda cardio is better than NOTHING at all, so, keep up the cardio, and you WILL loose the wieght  ;D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Miss Philicia on May 20, 2008, 04:58:32 pm
You've stated that you have lipo, so it's not unusual to find elevated triglycerides in your bloodwork.  PI's also cause this so I'm sure it's a variety of factors.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on May 20, 2008, 05:42:43 pm
You've stated that you have lipo, so it's not unusual to find elevated triglycerides in your bloodwork.  PI's also cause this so I'm sure it's a variety of factors.

I think my lipo is a variety of PI's and also a BIG factor....my age, I know, I'm not gonna look like I did when I was 21 or 32 years old, but it doesn't interfer with my workout routine.......so I kinda overlook the lipo, It would be a lot WORSE (the lipo) if I didn't do ANY exercise at all  ;D.......but I'm not too worried about it, my doctor said I look like a VERY FIT 52 yr. old  :)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on May 20, 2008, 08:51:21 pm
I'm enjoying reading your thread Ronnie.
Be careful not to get heat stroke working in the yard. Its supposed to be in the 90's here all week.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 20, 2008, 11:59:53 pm
denb,
I like the idea of bike riding. After all, the Bass Brothers have made these trails along the Trinity river for miles with these little rest areas complete with water fountains and a toilet with a unique Lone Star metal designs for the roof and benches. I might as well take advantage of it as its practically across the the street from me. hmm. First, though, I would have to get a bike.

Betty, philly,
I have been reading a lot from people on meds who have high triglycerides. Why are my doctors bugging me about this when it should be obvious where it is coming from? ///PRE MEDS: no problems with triglycerides or blood pressure  AFTER MEDS:  sudden problems with triglycerides and Blood pressure

Winiroo,
It's still May, what's up with the temperatures? LOL  I've been taking it easy, only staying out no more than an hour. By that time I have worked up a good sweat and my muscles are fatigued. And my yard is looking pretty good too.  :D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 21, 2008, 02:17:16 am
Another day on the day shift. Well, kinda. I went to bed at midnite and went to sleep. Awoke @530am and took my meds at 6am. Took out the trash bins for garbage day and woke up Katie. Cookie got here @ 10am and then I just could not stay awake. A sudden grogginess came over me I could not shake off. Finally I gave in and laid on the couch and did not wake up until Cookie came through with the vaumn cleaner. Passed out again and awoke to ....
Goose bumps and whoofing in my ears?....It was a Great Dane.....Robert and his new bride, Paulette were here with Jake. He was picking up some items he had in storage in the basement. In fact, there is a whole room dedicated to 'stuff' from his first marriage to Angela he never wants to see again, but I have made it known that I have a future project of 'cleaning the basement' and if there is anything he wants, he better get it now. Another room is devoted to Daniel and his first love Nicki, which is also going out the door. So, I remember being licked by a great dane and then they were leaving, I was so groggy the whole time they were here, I just sat on the sofa and stared into space.
 Finally, I was able to get up, and noticing it was 330 pm, put on my trusty hiking boots and headed for the wildlife preserve in the back yard.
(http://img440.imageshack.us/img440/1748/18099227hz6.gif)
 I started throwing smaller branches over the fence into 'neighbors' woods as they have long ago stopped mowing the back part of their property and it is a jungle. One of the trees on the fence line from his side is leaning on my fence and bringing it down and though I have brought it to his attention, he has done nothing about it.
(http://img440.imageshack.us/img440/5629/20613300ec7.gif)
 He is disabled, his wife is disabled and ....so...I have a tree growing in my yard that starts on the other side of the fence. The brush and growth of trumpeter vines proved too much for the weedeater as they kept getting entangled and wrapped up in the works,

(http://img215.imageshack.us/img215/2487/58619687ha3.gif)
so I put on my gloves and started pulling..and grabbing and pulling and grabbing and pulling. I was working up quite a sweat and motivated myself as hacking my way to the Temple of Doom and had the theme song in my mind giving me some kind of momnetum when....
all around the mulberry bush,
the monkey chased the weasel...??
the monk??..?? WTF..
the ice cream truck was parked out front somewhere and now...great...the monkey chasing a weasel was stuck in my mind...so I finally decided that I had had enough for the day and Bangkok Palace would have to wait for me to uncover it at a later date.
(http://img440.imageshack.us/img440/3500/89993670ju2.gif)

showered, 6pm meds and dinner...I made Monte Cristo sandwiches with green beans and mac and cheese...and strawberry cheesecake from a box...no baking involved...
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 21, 2008, 01:05:20 pm
It seems like everytime I step outside or look out the window birds are everywhere. The mulberry tree has fruited and is chock-full of berries (it also has those unsightly bagworm webs in it, which I am clueless on how to get rid of short of cutting the lower branches I can reach) It is probably time for maybe some eggs to hatch, as they are being very aggressive in keeping the cats moving right along when they enter the 'catwalk' across the front porch or the fence line. I haven't noticed them bothering the black cat with the white vest, but a white and tan calico, solid black, and a solid white cat are constantly bobbing along with a bird on its head,...."phew...ouch, ...quit it..."..keep moving."..."ouch, ok...I'm in the neighbors driveway"...."swoop=dive bomb, peck...keep moving.....swoop...swoop
swoop..peck..swoop..."...."alright, alright already" as he takes refuge under their front porch swing..."...I mean they escort them until satisfied they are far enough away from here.....I've seen blue jays do that before, and there are bluejays, some wrens, a couple of red birds and these gray birds that when they spread their wings have bright white feathers, I don't know what kind they are...they jerk around in the grass and make a funny noise and when they do fly its never higher than the top of the fence...wait a minute...male and female birds of the same species do not look the same....the males are always the brightly colored ones and the females are are usually a monotone color...right?...

Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on May 21, 2008, 04:32:59 pm
Sounds like a mockingbird. (http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b324/Winiroo/Mockingbird.jpg)


The weather? Its Texas you never know what your going to get...
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 21, 2008, 11:58:36 pm
I awoke at 4am. the grogginess from earlier had gone. 6am meds. Woke up Katie and after Cookie arrived, I refused to even look at the sofa. The Dr called and wanted to change my dosage of Warfarin. He's upping it from 7mg to 8mg which I hate as though Warfarin does come in different sizes..1mg, 2mg, 3mg, 5mg, 10mg, I have in my possession 2mg and 5mg, which means that I am going to have to split a pill. I hate splitting pills. They are scored, but don't seem to recognize they have been scored. Plus, then you have to fish them out of the bottle until you have an empty bottle to put the splits in, but then you have to rememeber which size it was split down from...I'm becoming a mathematician by association.. >:(  then she changed my labs from the 12th to the 2nd as he would need to know how I was responding to the new dose. Which I think is better as I still haven't received lab results on how my CD4 and VL are doing since I started my meds.

A mockingbird... the State Bird of Texas....living in my trees....at least I don't have blue bonnets growing in my yard...it's against the law to mow them down until after they have seeded..I think...if not against the law, it is severely frowned upon....I woke up...dang it, I gave in and laid down for a few minutes...hours...
These birds are  hopping around the yard as I am throwing these stalks of whatevers that I am pulling up, and disturbing established insect colonies.. I took the 'old' hedge clippers and started cutting beginning at the top and working my way down. Dang..some of these plants are taller than me..I hate the 'cleavers'..they are pretty enough when they first flower in those clusters of white flowers that turn into sticky, itchy, prickly burrs.that stick to your socks and the hair in your legs and arms...and I mean stick....and here I am staring at a whole patch of them, taller than me.....I also trimmed some low growing branches from some saplings that have taken hold due to my negligence..we have enough trees....and as I uncovered these fallen tree limbs, I would drag them to the fence line. If I could lift them, it was up and over. If not, I stacked them against the fence. There are some chunks the size of my torso...maybe I can roll them into a corner and call them 'art'.... :-\ I cleared an area about 2 ft X 5ft and got a good sweat going. It started to get windy and cloudy and ...
the evil Kali Ma sent a horde of vampire bats to deter me in my quest, but, did so in a diabolical manner that I did not recognize the vampire bats as they had been magically transfigured into a swarm of mosquitoes....without the sun to keep them at bay, I grabbed my tools of the trade and fled...vowing to return under the protection of the sun....
showered, 6pm meds, and dinner was ham, bacon, egg and cheese folded in flour tortillas and grilled in my Express Grill....
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on May 22, 2008, 09:09:10 am
 dinner was ham, bacon, egg and cheese folded in flour tortillas and grilled in my Express Grill....
.......................................
Can you say...High Cholesterol?
I am going to get on your case about this cholesterol.
Kurt fixed dinner last night:
grilled lean chicken breast
boiled corn on the cob
sauteed green peas pods
and we did use real butter on the corn but the rest was pretty low cholesterol
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Bob Mac on May 22, 2008, 10:13:35 am
Although i was never given a letter, i was told this.  I haven't been afraid of collectors for this reason, however, i remember when i first was diagnosed, i got calls, and they heard children playing in the yard (i was in a low income housing devel) and asked if i had kids...... they thought i was lying and avoiding them, all the guilt they could find was put upon me..... somehow, i got through that, it's never been as bad, but continues through self-guilt, undoubtedly brought on by the 'unassuming' assholes just doing their jobs!  see, i too get frustrated!  LOL
here's to continued ease of mind!
bob mac


I used to have this great letter my caseworker at AID Atlanta provided me with back in the early 90's to send to creditors.  It said something to the effect of "I have an AIDS diagnosis.   SSDI is my only form of income, which cannot be garnished or attached in any way.   I am judgement-proof."  (or something along those lines)  It worked well for me.

Wishing you the best Ron.  :)

hugs, Alan
[/quote]
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 22, 2008, 10:43:49 am
Although i was never given a letter, i was told this.  I haven't been afraid of collectors for this reason, however, i remember when i first was diagnosed, i got calls, and they heard children playing in the yard (i was in a low income housing devel) and asked if i had kids...... they thought i was lying and avoiding them, all the guilt they could find was put upon me..... somehow, i got through that, it's never been as bad, but continues through self-guilt, undoubtedly brought on by the 'unassuming' assholes just doing their jobs!  see, i too get frustrated!  LOL
here's to continued ease of mind!
bob mac


I used to have this great letter my caseworker at AID Atlanta provided me with back in the early 90's to send to creditors.  It said something to the effect of "I have an AIDS diagnosis.   SSDI is my only form of income, which cannot be garnished or attached in any way.   I am judgement-proof."  (or something along those lines)  It worked well for me.

Wishing you the best Ron.  :)

hugs, Alan


Bob Mac, I have dealt with creditors before as I have suffered the agony of 'Identity Theft' back in 1988, and I got through it and succeeded in surpassing that which was lost. But, I was younger, and was not suffering from health problems and facing myself in the mirror seeing : 55 years old, DVT/PE's, HIV, gray hair, failing eyesight, still facing upcoming biopsy on tooth,...all happening within the span of the past 9 months...too much, too fast...I just sometimes feel like... whats the use?  There used to be three bears living in my cottage..'Butch Bear Ronnie, Jock Bear Ronnie,  and Nelly Bear Ronnie and now , they're all huddled in a corner of the room looking at a BIG Bear that has taken over ' old POZ Bear Ronnie'  and wondering , who is this? .and what is he going to do?
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 22, 2008, 11:01:08 am
dinner was ham, bacon, egg and cheese folded in flour tortillas and grilled in my Express Grill....
.......................................
Can you say...High Cholesterol?
I am going to get on your case about this cholesterol.
Kurt fixed dinner last night:
grilled lean chicken breast
boiled corn on the cob
sauteed green peas pods
and we did use real butter on the corn but the rest was pretty low cholesterol

Joel... :-*

I'm working on it. I cannot just throw away food I already have in the house. As I use up the bad, I am replacing with the good.  I ran out of chicken breasts. I have to add two packages on the grocery list, maybe three. Why do they come in packages of an uneven number.five?  I have already emptied a large portion of 'really bad food' items (with labels showing sodium content above 600) in the post offices food drive.."please feed the hungry and leave the furnished bag by mailbox"...
corn on the cob is good...but only with LOTS of butter... :P
I'll eat green peas... but I draw the line on the pods.. :D
ronnie


Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: BT65 on May 22, 2008, 12:31:32 pm
Ronnie, just seperate the chicken breasts.  I was quite shocked also when I read about you having eggs, ham and bacon.  Wow, that's heart-clogging food.  Come on, now.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 22, 2008, 01:11:48 pm
Ronnie, just seperate the chicken breasts.  I was quite shocked also when I read about you having eggs, ham and bacon.  Wow, that's heart-clogging food.  Come on, now.

hmmm,
let me clarify,
its turkey bacon,
lean deli ham
and I've read pros and cons on eggs to make you fall on the floor dizzy. but my Gfather who lived to 98 had eggs everyday of his life....
I repeat, the doctor stated that my cholesterol is perfect...my triglycerides are elevated from the meds and inactivity...not my diet. The nutrtionist is fine with my diet. I am increasing my activity and will see what comes of it .
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: BT65 on May 22, 2008, 01:14:21 pm
Oh well, kay.  Just being concerned.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 22, 2008, 01:29:13 pm
Oh well, kay.  Just being concerned.

I appreciate you and Joel being concerned. I need to be concerned. I didn't mean to sound like I'm snapping your head off. I am doing the best I can with I've got and what I've got is getting less and less every passing day. Something positive has got to happen soon, or I don't think I can take it much more. All I do is wait and see, and then wait some more.

please forgive a tired old poz queen...
ronnie
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: BT65 on May 22, 2008, 01:50:09 pm
Oh honey, believe me, I understand doing with whatcha got.  I plan my grocery list around what the food banks give out. 

No apologies needed.  I understand you're going through a lot of adjustments right now.  Just hang in there baby. :-*
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on May 22, 2008, 04:31:07 pm
Oh before I forget again. How on earth did you manage to get a basement in Texas?

I dont think I have ever seen a house with a basement here.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on May 22, 2008, 08:05:00 pm
Hi Ron.....
I guess Betty and I are going to be on your case for a while.  Now. Listen.  My partner, Kurt is on disability.....he has a FIXED INCOME. So he has to stay in a buget.  He goes to great length to make a shopping list and studies the specials and so-on, every week.  If there is a special on chicken breast....he buys and then individually wraps and freezes.  So, you know, its labeled and dated.
He pretty much has what he is going to cook for a week in his mind.
I would never suggest that yoiu spend MORE for food...rather that you be more careful in what you buy.
We want to see you around for the reunion of 2020!!!

Do you have a buget? Post more of your daily menus.

Love ya....Joel
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on May 22, 2008, 08:25:09 pm
Hi Ron.....
I guess Betty and I are going to be on your case for a while.  Now. Listen.  My partner, Kurt is on disability.....he has a FIXED INCOME. So he has to stay in a buget.  He goes to great length to make a shopping list and studies the specials and so-on, every week.  If there is a special on chicken breast....he buys and then individually wraps and freezes.  So, you know, its labeled and dated.
He pretty much has what he is going to cook for a week in his mind.
I would never suggest that yoiu spend MORE for food...rather that you be more careful in what you buy.
We want to see you around for the reunion of 2020!!!

Do you have a buget? Post more of your daily menus.

Love ya....Joel

Yes....... I'm on a buget and FIXED INCOME too, and I know what I'm going to buy & cook every 2 weeks when I go to the Grocery Store.......I do most all of the cooking, my otherhalf can cook, but he's not as good at it as I'am ( he's a heart patient, had a heart attack back in 2002 and Open heart surgery at 45) so, we eat like were both that way.no salt,no sodium, uless it comes that way.oh and NO BUTTER  ;D  at least low fat butter...so we do the low fat, low salt, low,sodium diet........I know that sounds BORING & BLAND, and he HATES the way I cook, but it keeps us healthy  ;) so, he sucks it up and eats it anyway ( I'm so Proud of him)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: BT65 on May 22, 2008, 10:33:30 pm
When my 2nd ex's cholesterol and triglycerides both shot up to over 1,000 I bought an American Heart Association cookbook and they have pretty good recipes in there.  Most are cooked with herbs and such and are really quite tastey.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on May 22, 2008, 10:43:18 pm
When my 2nd ex's cholesterol and triglycerides both shot up to over 1,000 I bought an American Heart Association cookbook and they have pretty good recipes in there.  Most are cooked with herbs and such and are really quite tastey.

I bet.........my otherhalf wants to eat all the things that's bad for him, the sugar, the salt, the cream, the butter, but the reality is HE CAN'T.if he wants to keep his heart healthy, but he knows that if he does, and he has another heart attack, then he has NO ONE else to blame but himself..........I do the cooking, so, it's up to him, weather he wants to live or die, it's his choice not mine..........
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 23, 2008, 02:09:36 am
Oh before I forget again. How on earth did you manage to get a basement in Texas?

I dont think I have ever seen a house with a basement here.

Hi Wendy. In the pics above, thats the back of the house. The entrance ot the basement is under the deck. There is a well under the deck also. Those two windows in the left corner are my bedroom and below them is another window which is one of the windows to the basement. In the pic with the tall green plants, in the right corner is the house/converted to two duplexes. We are at the top of a hill. Starting at the front of the house and down by the side of the deck into the backyard is one gradual slope going on to the Trinity River. That 'circle' in the foreground is where the pool used to be and the post is all thats left of a ramp and deck that went around the pool.. The house is 65 years old, as are the neigbors'. On my side of the street, all of the houses have basements, and wells. I guess it was the mindset of that generation on this street. It's large, I can stand up in it, and I'm 6'3"..and has a concrete floor instead of the dirt floor that most have up north. Runs the entire length of the house. At one tme, it was being finished with walls and ceiling and rooms as my nephews wanted a place to have people over. Then they got on drugs, sex and rock and roll and being a now grown up hypocrate, I had to put a stop to it, which really pissed them off, as they knew my and their mothers drug history, but..I'm gay, and was given role of 'Daddy' and played it to the hilt.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 23, 2008, 02:35:47 am
Hi Ron.....
I guess Betty and I are going to be on your case for a while.  Now. Listen.  My partner, Kurt is on disability.....he has a FIXED INCOME. So he has to stay in a buget.  He goes to great length to make a shopping list and studies the specials and so-on, every week.  If there is a special on chicken breast....he buys and then individually wraps and freezes.  So, you know, its labeled and dated.
He pretty much has what he is going to cook for a week in his mind.
I would never suggest that yoiu spend MORE for food...rather that you be more careful in what you buy.
We want to see you around for the reunion of 2020!!!

Do you have a buget? Post more of your daily menus.

Love ya....Joel

Hi Joel,
Heck yeah, I'm on a budget. I haven't worked since July 07. Still waiting on SSDI approval. I have been living on my savings, soon to be my retirement, then my stocks if this doesn't get a move on. I really thought that hiring Binder and Binder would expedite the process, but when I first applied, I was only seeing doctors regarding my DVT,  I was not on HIV meds and had not had treatment for 7 years. So, now, I'm hoping that with my HIV status in there, things will start moving again. Doc just told me about triglycerides last week, as this is a new development. I shop for the week, and have set aside how much we have for the morgage and food. All I have is insurance, inspection and gas for the truck as everthing is paid off. I don't owe nobody, nothing. Scratch paper is the back of junk mail envelopes which I have stacked by the computer where we have our shopping list. Katie is on SSI, which aint much...pays the electric, gas water and phone. ( she has a 'secret lover', who gives her money now and then, ..the whore..in a wheelchair and sees more action than me >:(   He comes over when I'm gone to the store or getting a haircut....he won't come over if I'm here ;)  weird.....His mother knew Katie's mother-in-law and it's just a mute point because Katie is a widow and his mother and the m-in-lawl are dead....but..??....He's a cowboy and she is a fool for a cowboy...I swear anyone could walk in the door wearing wranglers and a hat and she wouldn't know the difference. :D
Fridays are my shopping day and this will be my first time to shop with a 'new list'....I hope I survive it..I'l post my meals if you post yours...I need ideas to get us through 7 days..
What's happening in 2020? Who's reunion? they have camping (literally) at Hippy Hollow in Austin....a gay section with nude...err..clothing optional...and you get free parking if you have a campsite.... :D Twice a year, the bars sponsor 'Splash Day' with barges and free keg beer.... ::)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 23, 2008, 02:46:30 am
I bet.........my otherhalf wants to eat all the things that's bad for him, the sugar, the salt, the cream, the butter, but the reality is HE CAN'T.if he wants to keep his heart healthy, but he knows that if he does, and he has another heart attack, then he has NO ONE else to blame but himself..........I do the cooking, so, it's up to him, weather he wants to live or die, it's his choice not mine..........

You and Joel must be good cooks if you can get them to eat it.
Sounds like my Mom and JW. It seems that he can't eat anything anymore. She will put something in front of him and he will look at me and whisper..."what the hell is this?"  :D Then he will joke that one could starve to death around here...like living in the hospital....but he eats it..sometimes asks for more...
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 23, 2008, 02:49:47 am
Hi Ron.....
I guess Betty and I are going to be on your case for a while. 
..Joel

If your going to be on my case....could you at least feed me too? ..just to give me an idea or two? ::) ;D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on May 23, 2008, 09:15:46 am
Hi Ron
Just to clear one thing up...Denb....its Kurt who buys and cooks the food in our house.  He has  VERY fussy preferences. And on top of being fussy he has to be on this low cholesterol diet.  Kurt is the heart patient in our house hold as well.  He had a near miss with a heart attack and was disciovered to have an artery that was 99% blocked.  They put a stent in.  That was when his triglycerides were OVER 2000..and he was exercising at the time too.
Last night dinner...
-marinated steak shish-ka-bob on the grill, included chunks of onion and green pepper
-green beans
-rice pilaf.....which is not on his diet but he loves it so much he cheats with this.
Lunch Menu for Kurt is usually soup and sandwich or fish sticks...something like that.
Next menu to follow.
Your yard looks nice...Living in a city we dont see that much green unless we go to a park.
Joel
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: aztecan on May 23, 2008, 10:16:34 am
OK, Ron,

Since we are all on the same page here (diet-wise that is), here are some ideas for stretching a budget yet having tasty, satisfying meals.

Breakfast;

An 8 oz glass of orange juice.
An EggBeaters omelet. I use Lucerne brand (Safeway) which is just as good, gluten free and much cheaper. I use whatever I want in the omelet, but no cheese (too much cholesterol(.
Slice of homemade, gluten-free bread with Smart Balance™ spread and jam or peanut butter with honey.
Half an avocado, sliced with a light sprinkle of kosher salt over the top.
Small dish of fruit.
An 8 oz glass of fresh carrot juice

Alternate breakfast
Scrambled tofu instead of the omelet
Gluten-free waffle with Smart Balance™ and gluten-free syrup or local honey (my personal favorite).
Half an avocado, sliced.
Small dish of fruit.
The usual orange and carrot juices.

Lunch

Sandwich made with homemade gluten-free bread. I usually alternate this between tuna salad or sliced ham. If I make a large roast or something, I will also use the leftovers for sandwiches during the week.
A piece of fresh fruit (apples or oranges usually, sometimes bananas or other fruit)

Alternate lunch

Homemade soup du jour, depending on what I felt like making, usually turkey or chicken soup, although sometimes split pea or bean soup.


Afternoon snack (always important for me)

Something yummy but not too bad for me, such as raisins, trail mix, Fritos (Oh OK, I have a weakness for them.) etc.

Dinner
During the week, I eat either boneless, skinless chicken breast or fish three times a week. I am getting good at finding inventive ways of preparing these things.
I usually couple this with a starch of some sort, usually rice but occasionally a baked potato, plus veggies, one green and one red/orange, when possible.
Desert usually includes either fruit or something I have made (like the brownies I made last night).

The other three days of the week (Saturday included) I have meatless days.
On these days, I will have various non-meat dishes such bean burritos (made with corn tortillas and homemade refritos, unless I get lazy and then its the canned refritos).
No cheese, but Sadie's™ Salsa is a must.

I also will do stir fry tofu, which is yummy.

Other days I will make pasta sans meat. I make a pretty good (read: palatable but not something to write home about) marinara sauce. Again, no cheese, but, eh, I don't do this too often.

Anyway, these are just some ideas. Tofu is pretty reasonable and goes a long way. I also make my own beans from dried beans rather than buying already cooked beans. They are cheaper and, in my humble estimation, better, and I can be sure of all of the ingredients.

I avoid buying anything premade. I make most everything from scratch, both because of my gluten intolerance and because it is usually better tasting.

With summer coming on, grilling is definitely an option. There is nothing like fish or chicken cooked on the grill, not to mention it helps keep the house cooler.

Oh, and on Sundays, all bets are off, I eat what I damn well please. But, its only one day a week and I usually don't go too crazy.

HUGS,

Mark
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 23, 2008, 10:32:18 am
I don't know if I would call myself 'fussy', but I do have my definite likes and dislikes. Katie's husband was a 'grill' cooker and I don't even own a BBQ pit. I am a rogue Native Texan as I don't particularly like BBQ ...mainly it's the sauces, the meats just fine. I don't like like the sweet taste on meat... I just want to taste the meat. Having good table manner and all, I will eat it when out in public. Katie likes FAJITA ..the taste of it.. will put it on just about everything...I like plain and dry. I prefer mustard to mayonnaise...Katie likes mayonnaise, not mustard, and I buy the 'light mayo, which she hates.."and she always puts on the list.."Hellmans Mayonaise"....**Note**just because its on the list...doesn't mean that it gets bought....but, sometmes we gotta have something we really like to keep us going, otherwise, whats the point of living, if you can't enjoy it?  I buy huge bags of Animal Crackers and non salted nuts for snacks though we want CHOCOLATE AND CARAMEL...Riesens fits that bill....I got her off ice cream by sneaking flavored yougrt in on her one time..it was Creamy Latte flavored and she LOVES coffee, so she really liked it and now we eat yogurt instead of ice cream...though if its hot outside and we're driving by Braums, I'm stopping and getting a sunday or shake....I weaned her off drinking coffee everyday and introduced her to Green Tea and got her off sugar and we use sweet and low....she used to drink sugar with coffe/tea....it was insane, but for some reason, when a drug addict goes into a treatment center..you are plied with cigarettes and coffee...weird....the message I got out of that was...it's ok to be addicted to this, but not your drug of choice.....
Having addictive personalities, finally got her off putting 8 packages of sweet and low in a cup of coffee or glass of tea down to one package.."dang  girl...these little packages are concentrated."...and while I can drink coffee black and tea with lemon, she still insists on at least that one pack of sweet n low ....I was glad to get her off that coffee jag as it's now $5.00 and up for a can of java....ridiculous...
She loves chicken , so we should have no problem with that. We are both on blood thinners, Warfarin so have to watch the 'vitamin k' intake...and we have different doctors who give conflicting messages....hers says  "NO green vegetables...and gave us a sheet of paper of what she could eat and not eat"...then comes my doctor...:eat what you want and I will adjust your warfarin dose to whatever your consuming in vitamin K...just don't get ridiculous with it (moderation) and be consistant....if not, then I could 'throw' another blood clot..so we deal with our doctors differences..'he said, she said".....
She will eat green beans....she LOVES green beans...will dream about greeen beans and I prefer peas....and yellow squash (I wish I had Boston Market Place's recipe) If eating out we prefer onion rings to fries, and she orders the closest thing to grilled chicken they got..I will order a cheeseburger...it's my reward....
We both like rice....I dream of chicken and rice...and rice pilaf.. (glare)....and stir fry (chicken fried rice)
Sometimes I buy a pork roast and put it in the crock pot with carrots, onions, celery and small potatos....
I will eat beans till they come out my ass (pun intended), Katie will not...I have to sneak them in on her, usually in a casserole dish...and she will go ahead and eat them with the exception of refried beans..she will gag... Years ago, to help control her weight, Katie  suffered through 'aversion therapy"/ "shock treatments" to certain foods...which, she sometimes forgets about until actually eating it, then the 'therapy' kicks in and she gags.....weird....
...even weirder that you have to be afraid of something that you need to stay alive...food, water, air, and if  you want it to be safe and nutritious you have to scrutinize and exam it and study it and turn it into some kind of obsession and you get to pay for the experience of staying alive through the nose when I have spent all my life in a mindset...".eh...it's food, food is food, just eat it..."
ronnie
(http://img135.imageshack.us/img135/4983/67685955kr4.jpg)

Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on May 23, 2008, 10:53:08 am
Kurt just left the house to go do a workout at the gym.  I think he goes 2 or 3 times a week.
Fussy, for me, is when someone wont eat whats served them even if its well prepared and tasty and on the diet. 
Homemade soup....no
all seafood...nope
raw vegetables including tomatos and carrots ,...cooked its ok...like a tomato sauce
(salads for Kurt are basically just lettuce )
any meat that has a bone in it..chicken beef pork ..no ....has to be boneless.
no wild or brown rice
no tofu or vegetarian stuff..nope
the list goes on
So, thats why I say Kurt is fussy.

Have a great day!

Joel
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 23, 2008, 11:10:06 am
Mark,
I love Sundays too, though sometimes I find that I forgot what day it is...."oh, I thought today was Sunday?...it's not Sunday?"....
Safeway, has disappeared from Fort Worth, as have Piggly Wiggly and Winn Dixie....all thats left is Albertson's (which you beter have your life savings in your pocket book to get out of there with maybe two sacks of groceries) and Krogers which is almost as bad. I go to Walmart, because I can buy more than food there, I don't go to malls anymore and if they don't have what I like, I can usually find it online. I love shopping online....i hate the shipping and handlng.....
I like your breakfast,  though we usualy do oatmeal. I have a friend who has moved to New Zealnd now, but one time I was invited to dinner and they had made tofu and I put it in my mouth and then politely put it in my napkin....maybe its an acquired taste or there are different recipes for it, but whatever they put in it.....never again....
I buy Old Mission corn strips..they only have 40mgs sodium...though I love cheetos and pringles...sigh.
We love trail mix too, though Katie will get carried away and finish the bag at one sitting if I don't admonish her.."thats supposed to be a snack, not the main course and it's supposed to last for more than a day"...
brownies...CHOCOLATE...
Katie will do beans from scratch and will start in on a recipe..I keep handing her the spoon and the keys to the kingdom. but the kitchen is not wheelchair friendly, the counters are too high and the cabinets too high, and those reachers are wonderful, but if an object is too heavy it meets the floor....if she hits the oven  a few more times with that electric wheelchair I keep telling her that it will go through the wall and be on the deck and then I will have my outdoor grill....so I get to do the cooking..which hurts..my back hurts my legs, ah heck, I just hurt all over, it really turns into an ordeal and I tend to pick recipes that are QUCK, requiring about a 5 minite prep and get it cooked...sometimes I have to sit down, I have a special chair and now I think I understand.....when growing up, I have memories of being in kitchens...Mom, Gmom, Aunts, and they would have stools in the kitchen...I always assumed that it was there for me to sit on...now I know it was for them...cooking and washing dishes just exhausts me and my body aches so bad, sometimes, after setting the table and all is ready,I feel that I need to go lie down and recover than eat....
I need a grill....Santa?...birthday fairy?...Easter bunny?...
(http://img385.imageshack.us/img385/873/602608564146448dm5.png)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 23, 2008, 11:18:01 am
Kurt just left the house to go do a workout at the gym.  I think he goes 2 or 3 times a week.
Fussy, for me, is when someone wont eat whats served them even if its well prepared and tasty and on the diet. 

Joel

I'm definitely NOT fussy in your world then...I love food that I haven't had to cook myself.. : :P
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: BT65 on May 23, 2008, 01:16:21 pm
Ronnie, the first time I went through treatment, we were not allowed to have any caffeine save the outside AA/NA meetings we went to.  We were allowed to smoke though, outside of groups.  I think the reasoning is that getting off the booze/elicit drugs is the most important thing.  Addiction to either will take someone down a lot faster than caffeine/smoking cigarettes.  Also the things someone will do to get the drug they're addicted to are not usually what someone will do to get a pack of cigarettes or a cup of coffee.

As far as my diet, I use Smart Balance, as does Mother Mark.  I don't do fish other than tuna salad (I hate fishy taste).  I did have good tasting talapia before, but I have no idea how to cook it to make it good.  I eat a lot of chicken.  For breakfast, I usually have honey-nut cheerios, a piece of whole wheat toast with peanut butter, and a piece of fruit.  I can't drink juice because of being diabetic, or I surely would. 

I'm not the best dieter in the world; I think the Lipitor is the biggest reason my cholesterol has come down.  There's a frozen custard place by my apartment that is just fab, and I occasionally indulge.  I'm not a gourmet cook (or really even a creative one) by any means.  I try to watch portion size a lot.  Anyway, good luck coming up with new ideas.  If you come up with some really tastey ones, please post them.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 23, 2008, 01:27:15 pm
Betty,
   :DI had to google smart balance..sounds good, I will put it on my list. also had to google talapia and I don't know how you had it,they had several variations,  but what I pulled up mentioned sauteed in garlic bitter and jalapeno relsih.....yummmy sounding and Katie and I are both agreeable on garlic butter.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on May 23, 2008, 01:28:23 pm
Ron....thats why when its my turn to cook I make whats called RESERVATIONS.
 No, seriously......I cook.  Kurt just dont eat what I cook.  So usually I cook for myself.  Tuesday night Kurt is out to his German class, so I cook then or on the weekend I make a pot of soup that lasts all week for me.
I think you are doing very well.  After all, as we age we are not able to keep those adolescent food habits anyway.
One of my favorite indulgences is pasta..since Kurt cannot eat it anymore.  Spaghetti and meatballs has become an indulgence...fancy that.
Betty and Kurt would get along real well.  He eats Cheerios for breakfast.
I like the idea of grilling outside too...we do that a lot...while the chicken breast are cooking we put a foil packet of veggies on to cook.  For flavor I use a splash of garlic oil and vinegar salad dressing on the veggies befor wrapping them up.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 23, 2008, 01:35:50 pm
TO: bear60

Message: re: Spahetti Dinner  RSVP

Reply: what time?

I love spaghetti, especially the next day, I spread it out in a pan and sprinkle with cheese, pour a can of Italian Wedding soup by Campbells Select Healthy Request and bake it at 400 degrees for about 20 minutes...call it spaghetti pie
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on May 23, 2008, 04:35:34 pm
You and Joel must be good cooks if you can get them to eat it.
Sounds like my Mom and JW. It seems that he can't eat anything anymore. She will put something in front of him and he will look at me and whisper..."what the hell is this?"  :D Then he will joke that one could starve to death around here...like living in the hospital....but he eats it..sometimes asks for more...

Well ronnie I always look at it this way..........you have to EAT it's Food, but here's what I try to do (and no one in here is perfect) but we all try to do the best we can.........this is what I live by........You must EAT to Live.........not LIVE to EAT....so, if you try and we all do, to EAT Healthy, then that's half the battle  ;D..........we all splurge from time to time.......I have a SONIC DRIVE-IN around the corner from me, so, I do like them TEXAS TOAST BURGERS with all the fixins ,Beacon, Cheese, and what ever else it comes with...........but once in a while it won't hurt me, I suppose................ ;D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 23, 2008, 05:22:29 pm
Well ronnie I always look at it this way..........you have to EAT it's Food, but here's what I try to do (and no one in here is perfect) but we all try to do the best we can.........this is what I live by........You must EAT to Live.........not LIVE to EAT....so, if you try and we all do, to EAT Healthy, then that's half the battle  ;D..........we all splurge from time to time.......I have a SONIC DRIVE-IN around the corner from me, so, I do like them TEXAS TOAST BURGERS with all the fixins ,Beacon, Cheese, and what ever else it comes with...........but once in a while it won't hurt me, I suppose................ ;D

Yeah, I've spent all my life just shoveling it in without thinking, now I have to think aobut it. Sonic is just down the road, a brightly lit oasis in a darkened skyline...
Wonderful onion rings, and chili cheese dogs and it used to be all girls bringing out the food, there have been a lot of cute boys taking on jobs at Sonic during the summer and they're the ones on roller skates....and of course, we've already discussed those stuffed jalapenos :P
UN-fortunately there has been a RASH of price increases at all of my favorite 'dining out' places, and Sonic is the worst...I almost choked the last time I was there and had to really scrutinize the receipt thinking there must be some mistake as I was paying for one meal the amount that would pay for 4 meals prepared at home....must be a result of the gas prices...can't even cheat on my diet anymore since I've become such a tightwad. >:(
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on May 23, 2008, 05:58:20 pm
Yeah, I've spent all my life just shoveling it in without thinking, now I have to think aobut it. Sonic is just down the road, a brightly lit oasis in a darkened skyline...
Wonderful onion rings, and chili cheese dogs and it used to be all girls bringing out the food, there have been a lot of cute boys taking on jobs at Sonic during the summer and they're the ones on roller skates....and of course, we've already discussed those stuffed jalapenos :P
UN-fortunately there has been a RASH of price increases at all of my favorite 'dining out' places, and Sonic is the worst...I almost choked the last time I was there and had to really scrutinize the receipt thinking there must be some mistake as I was paying for one meal the amount that would pay for 4 meals prepared at home....must be a result of the gas prices...can't even cheat on my diet anymore since I've become such a tightwad. >:(

Yeah tell me about  ???............What's the Price of GAS there in the Lone Star State.here in NM today I saw 3.98 & 4.11 a gallon being the highest  ??? this isn't RIGHT.as it makes almost EVERYTHING GO UP in Price  :(
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 23, 2008, 06:10:24 pm
Yeah tell me about  ???............What's the Price of GAS there in the Lone Star State.here in NM today I saw 3.98 & 4.11 a gallon being the highest  ??? this isn't RIGHT.as it makes almost EVERYTHING GO UP in Price  :(

I don't go anywhere so don't fill up much, I have a Ford Ranger 5 speed and get 25mpg in city....when I do fill up it scares me..used to be 20.00 would fill the tank, two weeks ago I spent 50.00....3.89gal.....2 gal for gas can was 7.70...that was almost 60.00 for the day and I retreated to the house with tail tucked between my legs vowing to stay put. Really got to check into the bike idea you had. My nephew has a motorcycle, but I don't know if I'm butch enough to handle one..I witnessed a kid skidding out and his bits were all over the road.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on May 23, 2008, 06:36:28 pm
I don't go anywhere so don't fill up much, I have a Ford Ranger 5 speed and get 25mpg in city....when I do fill up it scares me..used to be 20.00 would fill the tank, two weeks ago I spent 50.00....3.89gal.....2 gal for gas can was 7.70...that was almost 60.00 for the day and I retreated to the house with tail tucked between my legs vowing to stay put. Really got to check into the bike idea you had. My nephew has a motorcycle, but I don't know if I'm butch enough to handle one..I witnessed a kid skidding out and his bits were all over the road.

I have a FORD RANGER SUPER CAB w/ V6 Automatic (4.0L it's a Ford F-150 engine) it's a 1998 and has 52,000 miles on it (I own it and it's paid for).....I don't go ANYWHERE ANYMORE.......when i do full up the tank, it used to cost $44 dollars, now it cost $56...............WALMART, K-MART, or TARGET has Mountian Bikes 10 speeds or 12 speeds...........they cost about $60 to $80 bucks and come fully assembled ( all you gotta do is buy a Bike Helmet for safety)...some even come with a water bottle mounted on the lower Frame.........Ronnie it's WORTH IT, and GREAT CARDIO for your heart health too ;D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 23, 2008, 06:51:21 pm
I have a FORD RANGER SUPER CAB w/ V6 Automatic (4.0L it's a Ford F-150 engine) it's a 1998 and has 52,000 miles on it (I own it and it's paid for).....I don't go ANYWHERE ANYMORE.......when i do full up the tank, it used to cost $44 dollars, now it cost $56...............WALMART, K-MART, or TARGET has Mountian Bikes 10 speeds or 12 speeds...........they cost about $60 to $80 bucks and come fully assembled ( all you gotta do is buy a Bike Helmet for safety)...some even come with a water bottle mounted on the lower Frame.........Ronnie it's WORTH IT, and GREAT CARDIO for your heart health too ;D

Mine is a '97 paid for...beatcha only 50,000....I had a work truck and my Ranger used to just sit there and collect dust. Sometimes I would feel guilty and go out and start ti up to keep the juices flowing and take it aorund the block. For 5 years I think I only put gas in it every 6-7 months. Now you got me thinking. So, If I was to ride a bike down the road and buy something, I would need a back pack to carry it in.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on May 23, 2008, 07:55:34 pm
Mine is a '97 paid for...beatcha only 50,000....I had a work truck and my Ranger used to just sit there and collect dust. Sometimes I would feel guilty and go out and start ti up to keep the juices flowing and take it aorund the block. For 5 years I think I only put gas in it every 6-7 months. Now you got me thinking. So, If I was to ride a bike down the road and buy something, I would need a back pack to carry it in.


They have back packs, saddle side bags, are just about whatever else you my need for that NEW BIKE  ;D.........if Gas keeps going up, I just may PARK my Ford and just ride my bike (we even have bike racks on the front of our City Buses) I could ride my bike and then the Bus, if I had to go any distance, like say maybe for a doctors Visit, Labs...just about anything within the City limits.........
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 23, 2008, 08:30:07 pm

They have back packs, saddle side bags, are just about whatever else you my need for that NEW BIKE  ;D.........if Gas keeps going up, I just may PARK my Ford and just ride my bike (we even have bike racks on the front of our City Buses) I could ride my bike and then the Bus, if I had to go any distance, like say maybe for a doctors Visit, Labs...just about anything within the City limits.........

Jock ronnie has Butch ronnie convinced now Nelly ronnie is standing there with crossed arms and tapping foot."where do you park it while in the building so nobody takes it?"
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on May 23, 2008, 08:36:22 pm
LOL I used to chain my moped up to the bike rack. You'd be amazed how many people will allow their children to play with someones moped as if it where a toy.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 24, 2008, 01:33:19 am
Can you ride mopeds on the freeway? How fast do they go?....do bugs fly in your mouth? :-\
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on May 24, 2008, 09:06:46 am
Dinner last night was:
Boneless chicken breast Marsala
fresh asparagus ( with butter)
scoop of cottage cheese for Kurt and mashed potatos for me

Kurts blood work came back yesterday...his triglycerides went up a little from 250 to 325 more or less. But thats still good numbers for him.  His cholesterol is normal.

I think the cottage cheese was a direct response to his triglyceride level going up.  He wants to stay on diet.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on May 24, 2008, 07:35:44 pm
Can you ride mopeds on the freeway? How fast do they go?....do bugs fly in your mouth? :-\

I wouldn't suggest it. Mine only went 45 mph tops. But they have bigger ones that can go pretty fast. You have to be super careful because people will try to run you over. Just like riding a bicycle.

Bugs never got in my mouth because I wore a face shield. The helmet makes your hair look like crap but it beats a head injury.

There was an accident recently on the news. Story below.
http://www.star-telegram.com/news/story/651686.html (http://www.star-telegram.com/news/story/651686.html)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 24, 2008, 10:22:30 pm
oh dear...my hair has got to look good when I get where I'm going or I'll be a nervous wreck. :D Maybe they make a BIG plastic bubble that won't flatten my hair, but still protect from injury....I can see this request going through ther PR/HR department of Helmets and shields and them just rolling thier eyes "got another suggestion from a dizzy queen" ::)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 24, 2008, 10:40:37 pm
Dinner last night was:
Boneless chicken breast Marsala
fresh asparagus ( with butter)
scoop of cottage cheese for Kurt and mashed potatos for me

Kurts blood work came back yesterday...his triglycerides went up a little from 250 to 325 more or less. But thats still good numbers for him.  His cholesterol is normal.

I think the cottage cheese was a direct response to his triglyceride level going up.  He wants to stay on diet.


Good news on Kurts triglycerides. I thought that cottage cheese was like curdled skim milk or something..I don't know, I've never eaten it...I would join you in the mash potatos....
I bought a pack of chicken breast that was HUGE, $13.00...since I am taking calcium tablets, back to 2 percent milk, bulk bag of Honey Nut cherios, for snacking and unsalted mixed nuts. I have popcorn kernels but can't remember if the air popper burned up last year or if it just overheated, it's in some obscure cabinet in the kitchen...checked out the Smart Balance butter and had to put it back, it was $5.58 for a tub and country crock was $1.88  , baby cut carrots, yogurt, bananas ans green tea and then forced myself to the checkout as my total was $51.00....one dollar over budget.

I still have frozen corn, stir fry vegetables and potatos in the freezer and spaghetti and beans in the cabinet and a huge packet of corn tortillas.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 25, 2008, 06:20:02 am
It's Saturday. I did not do yardwork on friday as Katie had a Dr appointment for this UTI she has had for about two weeks now and the pain in her back and arms. She states that she has hurt her back somehow and keeps wanting to show me where it hurts. To which I automatically replied" have you called your Doctor and told him?"...There is nothing I can do about it, but sit here and once again listen to her moan and groan and whine and cry for two weeks and finally, friday, she goes to the doctor. Upon returning she had a prescription for pain pills and antibiotic for UTI. I get up on Saturday morning early as the pharmacy is only open 9-noon on Saturday and I pick it up and give it to her  and go to sleep.....

So, I've backslid to being up almost all night again, and sleeping from about 11am -3pm.  I got up, put on my hiking boots and headed for the backyard. I had charged the 18" clippers and they made a HUGE difference against those dead vines and weeds and now I'm where the honeysuckle vines make their appearance against the fence. I made it to the fence on the left side of yard. I still have to get to that cottonwood tree. I had originally thought that those weeds were 6'5" as they towered over my head, but this is becsue of the mound of dirt surrounding the cottonwood, I had forgot that it was there...a very evil brain cell pulses that after the yard is tamed, I could continue cardio outside by taking a shovel and filling in the hole with that dirt...evil thought..go away.(we may not want that hole filled in, still might have miracle of pool in future for WATER THERAPY.....I was not bothered by mosquitos today as I got out there early enough for the sun to still be in that part of the yard, but the EVIL KALI MA sent another plague to deter me....I kept feeling something running on my legs and as I was sweating profusely, I thought it was sweat. Looking down, I saw spiders....I just brushed them off and kept going, but they were insistant, so I stopped with the clippers, picked up tree limbs that I had uncovered and threw them in 'neigbors'  woods...and got the lawn mower and mowed over the area I had just cleared...."take that KALI MA.."....and went back to the clippers. I was now in the middle of the 'cleavers' and they were doing their best to get those burrs in my socks and the hair on my arms and legs, and the cottonwood has already bloomed its first time for the season....so there were patches of cotton and weeds, and though I have always been allergic to cottonwood, surprisingly, I did not sneeze. I don't know if it is the HIV meds, or the antibiotic I'm on, or my sinuses are cured. The jury is still out , as I have only just noticed it and things could change ...overnight. Then the charge started going out on the clippers so I called it a day. It had been 1 and a half hours, of bending, picking up large branches, swinging upper torso with the clippers and pushing the mower up the dirt mound and then back down...
my face was RED, but I understand that this is a thing for HIVers,  and I was sweating, and was wet, and the shower was wonderful. ....and my hips hurt and my foot and leg are swollen and kinda pulsing and neuropathy is ...neuropathying...so I take my meds and sit under the ceiling fan and give myself about twenty minutes to cool off ...

and I go to the store. I am still at war with my triglycerides and this diet change. Today, I bought a HUGE pack of chicken breasts and no chocolates, or sweets, or cakes or pies....but I did buy lightly salted mixed nuts and honey nut cheerios and animal crackers for snacks and yogurt instead of ice cream. I checked out this butter called Smart Balance, that is supposed to be good at lowering cholesterol and such and after picking it up, saw the price and immediately put it back...$5.58 for a tub..Country Crock $1.88...guess which one I bought..Since I am taking calcium tablets now, I can go back to 2 percent milk and I did not buy any bread as I bought a huge package of corn tortillas...I have to say that I am in real trouble now as everyone on my Group Forum with high triglycerides and cholesterol keep giving me ideas on different meals and everytime they mention a sandwich or a dish, they always state...NO CHEESE...so I am now worried that I am not supposed to be eating cheese..which I put on everything...I have envisioned adding it to my milk, like Nestle chocolate...just kidding..but I guess I now have to cut back on the cheese. (just something else that I love ...snatched away from me)...My next labs are on June 2 and I expect to see a vast improvement. My cholesterol was perfect. My triglycerides were at 400, which is..high.(I googled it)  So we are going to have a lot of grilled chicken breasts as I am getting pretty good with my new Extreme Grill. I've already mastered chicken strip burritos, eggs, crack one open in each well and 3-4 minutes, they're done, both sides, no turning and then scoop them out on a plate and there you have it..no grease, only a quick spray of Olive Oil Spray and it just slides out and cleanup is as advertised, just wipe with a damp cloth. I have also made Monte Cristo sandwiches in it and am working up to doing vegetables. The chicken breasts can also be done in it, just slice them and stuff with whatever and close it and 8 minutes later..you got stuffed chicken breasts.... Dinner was Beef Stroganoff, and I made cheesecake on graham cracker crust for dessert. ..and Katie is still whining and crying and carrying on, and I have to say.."you know, one of those bottles were pain killers"...and she says that she took one and it's not working...tomorrow has to be better...
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on May 25, 2008, 11:49:29 am
Ron...
Sounds like your trip to the grocery store was really successful....buget wise anyway!
Last night for dinner Kurt cooked a marinated porlk loin on the gas grill and we had slices of that with steamed broccoli and egg noodles.  Opps...not on his diet...but hey its Memorial Day Weekend and he wanted to cheat. He cheats with two things: egg noodles and rice pilaf. And, oh yea, cheese is not on the diet.  We dont buy cheese for Kurt.  I like jalapeno monterrey jack, which I eat with blue corn tortilla chips(organic).
I commend you on the yard.  Its a good time to do these chores since the weather has stayed moderate in temperature....at least here it has.
Friday I had a crew of young bucks come to rip out my oil heating system in the house.  I had "SEEN THE WRITING ON THE WALL" and decided that this next winter my fuel oil bill was going to double so I had the entire system ripped out and replaced with a natural gas boiler.  (Plus I think the house will sell better with a cleaner heating system).  The ensuing mess was not extreem but..... something that kept the little voice in the head saying things like:  Joel you cant leave the sooty floor like this because thats going to get tracked all over the house.  So I took mop and pail and orange scented cleanser and scrubbed the basement floor.  Then I had to repaint the stairway down to the basement since it was now looking very scruffy.  So that all got done yesterday.  And THEN...I treated myself to a 90 minute massage from a friend of ours who gives incredible deep tissue massages.  I'll tell you last night I didnt need any sleep aid....just took the Ibuprophen before bed and off to sleep I went. I woke up this morning, however, convinced that a friend of ours had been killed in a drive by shooting.  Oh well. I'll call him later to make sure he's ok.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 25, 2008, 12:56:17 pm
.. :D I have decided to go total electric, but it's in stages as I'm cheap and if it aint broke, don't fix it. So, two years ago our unit went out and had a Lennox, all electric unit put in and ...what a difference a new unit made...now the only thing that uses gas is the hot water heater and the stove.

When I get around to cleaning the basement, I plan on taking a wet/dry vac and vacumning it, but I aint scrubbing it..unless there is a crew of young bucks down there and being on my knees while scrubbing might lead to other things ::)

??..did you dream of the drive by shooting and it seemed so real that you need to call him? is this a side effect of meds?...

Well, later,
I haven't even looked outside yet, but it appears to be cloudy...there was a forecast of rain on Memorial Day...
ronnie


Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on May 25, 2008, 01:07:59 pm
Ron.....Yes the dream was so real I woke up convinced that it really happened. But I am not on any HIV meds. Which is why I am an LTNP.  But after the Wellbutrin and quitting smoking....I have had trouble sleeping.
The only meds I take are: Nexium for the acid reflux and Claritin for the allergies.  And of course I take supplements: vitamin C, a multi and fish oil.
Is your heating system forced air?  Mine is radiators.
Joel
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 25, 2008, 11:46:24 pm
Hey Joel, It's forced air. Every season we have it serviced and when we mention it's down in the basement, I can see the serviceman cringe thinking he's going to be crawling under the house. Then...surprise....

   I went to sleep around 11am and got up at 3pm. For the past week, it's like I'm under water and struggling to break the surface before I run out of air and then...I'm jerking awake and forcing myself off the sofa. I haven't slept in my bed for months..since my dog died. I thoroughly cleaned my room and bought new sheets and a new bedspread and pillows and it just sits there...waiting for me.... weird...

Hit the backyard and finally broke through to the cottonwood tree and made a circle around it. Uncovered some very large branches and got a surprise. Last year, after my DVT and I was pretty much 98 percent bedrest...Mom hired some men to do some remodeling and to clean up the backyard. They did pretty good, but they got poison oak, even with us telling them it was back there..made a pile the size of a Volkswagen at the curb of branches and debris and then we never saw them again. My surprise was that they had used a chainsaw to cut the branches into smaller pieces, but lying on the ground I did not notice this until I went to pick them up. So, I got a lot done today now that I have cleared the last patch of those cleavers and am faced with a new challenge. Part of the top of the tree is like it fell straight down and landed at the base of the tree and then fell over, across the fenceline, and caught in a tree. It is very large, and goes into the neighbors yard about 8-10 feet. I am going to need a chainsaw, and having never used one, lessons or help. I think Mom/JW have one and my nephew Robert has one. ..will have to put out an SOS...By then, I hope that the neighbors have taken a hint and do something with their yard or I am going to have to call it in. I don't like calling things in, but Katie has no qualms about it. Since the arrival of West Nile Virus, and with the mosquitoes that attacked me the other day, they really need to mow their yard. The duplex is a rental property. So it is the responsibility of the owner, and this is an issue in our neighborhood as we just got the water bill and there is a 'newsletter' on the neglect of rental properties and how the city intends to crack down on it. But..being a prudent and wise old queen who likes to cover his ass and believing in the philosophy...clean up your own backyard before you start messing with mine...I have to get this fallen tree cut up and out of mine and their yard first.
Boy, it was hot today. I was at it for 2 hours and once again, I have a red face. It is so strange to look down and see one foot and leg white, and the other red/discolored. It's like two people are standing in the same spot. Probably overdid it a little as after taking 6pm  meds I got a burning sensation in my gut that wouldn't quit. After my shower and brushing my teeth, I finally threw up/dry heaves and immediately felt better. Dinner was grilled chicken breast, field peas, and rice with two pieces of buttered french bread, which I couldn't toast in the oven because for some reason, the oven won't light. I smell gas, and put my matchstick wand in there and nothing.??...if it aint one thing its another. ...
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on May 26, 2008, 09:21:55 am
Don't over do it. Please take lots of breaks and drink plenty of water. Its been in the mid 90's but the heat index makes it feel 100 - 103 degrees out there.
We had a garage sale Saturday. Even though it was cloudy it was freaking miserable. I probably made more money selling drinks than junk.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on May 26, 2008, 11:14:17 am
Ron
It seems that Texas chainsaw stories do make for interesting reading!! When you finish with your yard, whats next?
I'm sorry to hear you are not sleeping in your bed.  I inherited the most fabulous mattress from our friend Jim when he died.  I think of him every time I get in bed and it is a sort of comfort.  I wish you well since sleep is one thing that we all seem to find difficult.
Here is Kurts list of calories for one day.  He found a book that helps him "count the calories":
Cheerios and milk 2%..          460
Gatorade....                         150
PB Sandwich                        490
2 glasses iced herb tea           260
lunch 9 fishsticks                    522
dinner
chicken                                196
broth                                    2.5
smart balance                         80
olive oil                                  102
cottage cheese                      120
asparagus                                 14
tea                                        130
Snacks
peanuts                                  120
more tea.................................130
PB sandwich                            490
total calories                            3316
Frankly you have to hand it to him that he is as determined as he is to keep his tricglycerides under control.
Last night we all cheated and went to one of our favorite chinese restaurants
Sang Kee Peking Duck house
and we ate lots of great food that is not on our diet. Including: spring rolls and peking duck.
Hope your Memorial Day is fabulous.

Joel
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: redhotmuslbear on May 26, 2008, 03:39:40 pm
Frankly you have to hand it to him that he is as determined as he is to keep his tricglycerides under control.
Last night we all cheated and went to one of our favorite chinese restaurants
Sang Kee Peking Duck house
and we ate lots of great food that is not on our diet. Including: spring rolls and peking duck.


GASP!  Spring rolls and Peking duck would likely not be as counter-productive in the quest to reduce triglycerides as all of that sweetened tea.  After all, the main culprit in elevate triglycerides isn't fat, but sugar.  If Kurt or you can't stand artificial sweetners, try ground stevia root in about a 1/3 ratio compared to the amount of sugar normallly used.

Best,
David
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on May 26, 2008, 03:52:21 pm
David.....
You know I did not understand why his tea came in with so many calories because he DOES use an artificial sweetner.  So I just asked him.  Its the unlisted cran-apple juice he adds in addition to the sweetner that makes the calorie count so high on his glass of tea. 
Kurt really likes his tea sweet.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 27, 2008, 12:50:59 am
Hey, Hey....
Cookie showed up at 8am as she is going out of town today and needed to bathe Katie and change her bedding. I was so sleepy this morning that I went to sleep around 9am and woke up at 230pm. Put on my hiking boots and then I looked out the window and got all excited. Someone is moving into one of the duplexes. New neighbors. And they are white. I haven't figured it out yet as to who is going to be living there. It is a one bedroom. There was a woman in her late 40's to 50's and the male was what I would define as a 'Bubba Bear'...The furniture was....excuse me..running from bathroom window to living room window....umhum...the furniture is new and nice, there is even a grandfathers clock proudly standing against the cab of the truck and it is a new truck, Ford F-150, white. I am remarking on how much furniture there is and those are small duplexes. Another truckload brought a white wicker set and I am really wondering where things are going in there now. As the furniture is  not what I would expect from a Bubba Bear, I am assuming it is hers. She could be his mother, or ..?? who knows...I finally tore myself from being neighborhod watch and....
put on my hiking boots, and hit the backyard. I started in on these 6-7 foot tall bushes along the fenceline that used to to be called 'hedges' and made them look more respectable and continued cutting and shaping hedges all around the fencelines.

 (http://img186.imageshack.us/img186/6093/608658191504920fj6.jpg)

(http://img256.imageshack.us/img256/4738/608665925209712xh8.gif)

(http://img362.imageshack.us/img362/8933/608670451726320ka5.gif)

(http://img211.imageshack.us/img211/7951/6086775575915ys2.gif)

(http://img406.imageshack.us/img406/636/60868187444843fm2.gif)

After the yard....the fence... is still there. It is wire and has a cable running along the top. It is on the ground where neighbor kids climbed over to get to the pool and then from the branches falling on it. I have always lived in apartments and when there was a problem called "MAINTENANCE"...so am not too acquainted with Manual Labor, but, using my college degree, I see that there are these metal poles with hooks that you 'hang' the fence on which have mysteriously disappeared. I have to buy some and I guess, they can be hammered into the ground, or ..boohoo-boohoo dig a hole and then insert into ground and then pick the fence up and rehang it...piece of cake...only, in my world, if it sounds too good to be true, it is. Then the basement needs to be cleaned out and then the deck needs ...help...some minor repairs and then either staining or painting. And you have to perform upkeep on what you've managed to reclaim from nature. I'm now wondering if I'm going to get to see Bubba Bear mowing behind the duplex.. ::) Then, depending if I EVER get a tax stimulus rebate, I can get an Air Climber for cardio workout or just dance in the living room holding onto handweights.  :-\
So, I put in another 2 hours and was good and sweaty, and even mowed the back yard after trimming wild hedges and to set Winiroo at ease, I drank a lot of water, took 6pm meds and again got a burning sensation in my gut....only tonight I immediately ate some unsalted crackers and did not brush my teeth and it finally abated without dry heaving..
Dinner was sauteed chicken breasts, Campbells Select 'soup, Chicken Pot Pie, Rice and buttered french bread which, I got to toast as the oven decided to work tonight. I'm certain that last night I was functioning in my gut spasms and heat induced delirum well enough to work an oven... ::)  and then here comes Katie, in a full blown panic attack because there is a whirring motor running somewhere that controls the back going up and down and it won't shut off and she's backing this chair up to me...and jabbering incoherently.(which always sets my nerves jangling)...."flip a switch, or do this or do that"..and I just snap at her that I am not a mechanic and to just turn the damn thing off. She is the one who sent the new chair away....I don't want to hear it... :-\
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Snowangel on May 27, 2008, 10:13:57 am
Love reading your posts!  Your yard looks great, really coming along, if I was closer I would cut your tree down for you :-\
Snow
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 27, 2008, 10:26:49 am
thanks for the thought. I found a hand saw in the garage and might at least get it to the point where I can lay it down and get it out of sight.
But, I really have my fingers crossed that Mom has a chainsaw.  ;)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Bob Mac on May 27, 2008, 11:32:26 am
 ;D 8) ::) man, you folks talk of food like you can win the battle!  how dare you!  i eat EVERYTHING! well, except seafood or fish!  i'm from maine, the smell of the ocean, seaweed, turns my gut!  can't do it!  i live inland so i don't get that ocean smell...... funny though, i love the ocean... especially in the winter during a storm!  those crashing waves..... it's like letting it all out!  i love it!  then too, i love being on the ocean, it feels freeing....?????  i don't even really know, i just know i love it!  as for food.... my only sweetness left in life... not only AIDS, cancer, hepatitis, asthma, and diabetes..... oh yeah, lots of things are NOT GOOD for me, but guess what?  i love all of them!  the sweeter, the better!  am i gonna die from it?  huh!  ain't that a funny?!  life is all about dying, it's just the way you choose to do it?  isn't it?  and then, you all seem to talk of partners or compatriots..... of which.... emabarrassingly i admit :-[ i'm alone.... 14 years and growing..... so my soft spot? yeah, it's food.... you WON'T take that away... lost booze, lost cigs, lost sex, you ain't gettin food!  i cook, not great, but i do, i love to experiment, not lots with seasoning, but combinations... just made a mashed potato salad yestserday and ground up some celery.... mixed in, and YUMMY..... i eat WAY TOO MUCH junk, but like i said, it's my only 'feel good' in life!  sad, sorry, and all that, but true!!  my counselor and i are working on changing that, but 14 years in.... guess it'll be a while..... i didn't come on here to complain, but to talk food.... you guys were dishing (pun intended) back and forth, so i wanted to quip up something... LOL.... i like the grill... steak.... yep, medium rare... gotta be that way to taste!  and corn on the cob?  you betcha!!  kills the gut, but pleases the senses!!  guess which one always wins?  LOL  hey... hope you all had a great memorial day!
bob mac
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: BT65 on May 27, 2008, 11:54:21 am
Ronnie, the yard does look good.  I used to have a chainsaw, but I gave it away when I kept having recurring thoughts of killing my ex.(just kidding)

Bob, while I don't have all the extra ailments you have, I do have diabetes.  One of the things that keeps me from going hog-wild on sweets is that I've been a resident in a nursing home.  I've seen residents there who've lost both legs and are on dialysis because of not taking care of their diabetes.  Just a thought.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 27, 2008, 11:56:48 am
Hey Bob MAc,
I hear ya on the seafood. I cannot do it either. We moved to Mobile Alabama for awhile and my stepfather worked in Pascagoula, Mississipppi...seafood everywhere. I LOVE the beach and the waves and the wind and the roar of the waves and the wind...totally there with you..makes me wonder why I'm not there now. I've been alone and tending my own garden much too long. It's been at least 16 years. Talk about being set in your ways. I'm a cheese addict. Put it on everything. mmmm Grilled steak, corn on the cob, baked potatos...all make for a Happy Memorial Day..
ronnie
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 27, 2008, 12:15:03 pm
Ronnie, the yard does look good.  I used to have a chainsaw, but I gave it away when I kept having recurring thoughts of killing my ex.(just kidding)

Bob, while I don't have all the extra ailments you have, I do have diabetes.  One of the things that keeps me from going hog-wild on sweets is that I've been a resident in a nursing home.  I've seen residents there who've lost both legs and are on dialysis because of not taking care of their diabetes.  Just a thought.

Hey, Betty,
I just talked to Mom and...dang if she didn't ask .."what size chainsaw?"...who knew? I said''err, how about starting smallish and if that doesn't work then moving up?...(I had no idea they came in sizes)" Well, how big is the the tree you're cutting.?"..??..(My math is limited to balancing a check book and making change)...."oh, I don't know...maybe 6-8 inches?"...She is picking me up for my eye exam on thursday and we'll see what she brings. Exams..Katie brings up that there was a phone call verifying my surgery appointment on thursday... 0.o ...so my brain starts up and like a diesel engine, it's slow at first but after it gets warmed up runs like a champ....and it clicks that all of a sudden I have two appointments on the same day at the same time...what are the odds?...so I have to get busy and call this person in charge of appointments and I ask, " are y'all just going to kill two birds with one stone and have both appointments at the same time and start pulling me apart on the table?"...She laughed and rescheduled the oral surgeon for the 5th. Which, I probably should have checked my calendar, since I have become so busy lately with appointments....from famine to feast.....Katie's on the phone talking to her doctor about her back..about time, I told her to talk to him weeks ago...maybe something will come of it...as in both of us getting some relief...her from the pain, me from listening to her in pain....
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on May 27, 2008, 03:06:12 pm
Woo whoo Momma with a chainsaw!  Beautiful rainy day north of Dallas. Hope your getting some of this.

We had a great big ole limb crash down from our tree in the front yard this morining. Its stuck inside the tree at the moment. It can stay there as long as it likes as far as I'm concerned LOL

(http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b324/Winiroo/may2708002.jpg)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on May 27, 2008, 06:13:46 pm
Hey, Betty,
I just talked to Mom and...dang if she didn't ask .."what size chainsaw?"...who knew? I said''err, how about starting smallish and if that doesn't work then moving up?...(I had no idea they came in sizes)" Well, how big is the the tree you're cutting.?"..??..(My math is limited to balancing a check book and making change)...."oh, I don't know...maybe 6-8 inches?"...She is picking me up for my eye exam on thursday and we'll see what she brings. Exams..Katie brings up that there was a phone call verifying my surgery appointment on thursday... 0.o ...so my brain starts up and like a diesel engine, it's slow at first but after it gets warmed up runs like a champ....and it clicks that all of a sudden I have two appointments on the same day at the same time...what are the odds?...so I have to get busy and call this person in charge of appointments and I ask, " are y'all just going to kill two birds with one stone and have both appointments at the same time and start pulling me apart on the table?"...She laughed and rescheduled the oral surgeon for the 5th. Which, I probably should have checked my calendar, since I have become so busy lately with appointments....from famine to feast.....Katie's on the phone talking to her doctor about her back..about time, I told her to talk to him weeks ago...maybe something will come of it...as in both of us getting some relief...her from the pain, me from listening to her in pain....

 ;D somehow ronnie I just can't for the life of me picture you standing in shorts and hicking boots with a chainsaw  ;D
but if you do PLEASE take a picture and post it, so, we can see you in all of your GLORY!  ;D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: BT65 on May 27, 2008, 08:29:40 pm
;D somehow ronnie I just can't for the life of me picture you standing in shorts and hicking boots with a chainsaw  ;D
but if you do PLEASE take a picture and post it, so, we can see you in all of your GLORY!  ;D

Oh, I can picture Ronnie with a chainsaw, and a satisfied look on his face.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on May 27, 2008, 08:33:54 pm
Oh, I can picture Ronnie with a chainsaw, and a satisfied look on his face.
;D tee hee LOL!  ;D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 28, 2008, 12:36:28 am
Woo whoo Momma with a chainsaw!  Beautiful rainy day north of Dallas. Hope your getting some of this.

We had a great big ole limb crash down from our tree in the front yard this morining. Its stuck inside the tree at the moment. It can stay there as long as it likes as far as I'm concerned LOL

What kind of tree is that? I can't tell, but it looks like a tree behind the garage that has been dropping branches on the roof everytime we catch a good breeze and I have no idea what kind of tree it is. The pecan trees will drop a branch just because they feel like it.  ::) Too bad I don't have a fire place, I definitely have the wood to last through the winter.

dang it....we missed part 2 of Andromeda Strain...It was raining and thundering = sleepy bye ronnie....I did not wake up until 7pm....took 6pm meds at 7pm...sigh...shit, showered and shaved and dinner was sauteed chicken breast, rice, with Campbell's Select Chicken and egg noodle (I know, not on diet, but I only have one more can left in the cabinet).. with toasted french bread. I talked to Mom earlier today and she stated that she uses the Smart Balance, so I will try to figure it in my budget. Have spent a wonderful post dinner hour dealing with Katie having to go potty and not making it on the toilet before the dam burst...shit everywhere.....and she is vocalizing and wants me to do...and I let her do....if you don't use it,, you're going to lose it...and you should have gone to the toilet earlier, it's not something new, you do it every night around this time, why wait?...as we're throwing yelllow chucks on the floor in front of the toilet and ...etc...etc...and now she is finally in bed and just as the first wave of quiet settled in....it's shattered..'RONNIE....I forgot to turn on my oxygen'....so I shoot back "you're in luck"...'why"...'because there is oxygen in the air all around you, just suck it in"...'haha'...so I'm waiting to hear the "BEEEP", that signals it' ON, and nothing, and so get up and go in there and she is half hanging on the trapeze over her bed, and I'm like,,"I thought the purpose of that trapeze was to make you stronger, upper body workout...etc...etc..."...and BEEEP, I turn on the machine....and chanting my mantra, "you have got to be as independent as possible in case I'm not here some day"...and now I'm checking to see when the next airtime for Andromeda Strain might be showing as I need to know...'what happened?"....
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on May 28, 2008, 02:01:57 pm
We watched most of the Andromeda Strain too. We only missed a little of it when our TV went blue and said weak signal. Of course it always happens at a pivotal moment in the movie.

My bf Billy said the tree in the front is likely an ash. Maybe an elm. He said its 50 years old or so.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 29, 2008, 01:19:21 am
I took my 6am meds. Cookie was here and helping Katie in the shower. I called my caseworker Paula and advised that I had a consult on June 5th with an oral surgeion. I called in a refill for Atenolol. Then I was waking up and it was 6pm. What happened to the rest of the day?
the first thing I notice was the bwaa-bwaa of a weedeater , and it was close. ...the Duplex!...I rushed to the window and sure enough there were three hispanics going at it. I was excited (I must have some type of primordial power that causes what I'm thinking to happen) as just yesterday I was thinking "they needed to mow the grass so I wouldn't have to call it in"...and 'poof'..there they are and it's happening. I was also disappointed that Bubba Bear was not one of the three.  :-\  Took my 6pm meds and pulled on my hiking boots and grabbed the weedeater. I was going around the back just for show and to be nosey rosey and they had done more work in one day than I've accomplished in 2 weeks.  :-\   They finally stopped and I went around to see how they had done and I saw the reason they had stopped. 

(http://img153.imageshack.us/img153/4002/611727325363780jx1.gif)

The 20 feet of the top of my cottonwood...oopps!, :o I had wondered where it went. There it was lying in the grass, in all its huge glory,  and the hispanic was on the phone and letting 'boss man'  know that they had encountered an obstacle. I don't know if they have figured out it's mine and I did not volunteer any information, but I did give a few sympathetic nods in their direction...oh lord...
Then I went to the front yard as this was it's day, and after clipping, edging and mowing, it was very humid and my shirt was drenched and hanging on me and my shower did not help much even though I turned the hot water knob way down and had a cool down, I was hot and sweaty for an hour. It was late, 830pm, and I wasn't doing too well, what with sweating and being hot and my back hurting and my leg and foot neuropathying, so I had Katie call in to Pizza Hut as the mail brought a flyer showing they had the PZone Pizza again. :P
Katie has to get up at 6am for a Dr Apt at 8am and Mom will be here to pick me up for eye exam. I had not wanted to bother her thinking that I could drive myself and she stated "not if they dilate your eyes" I seem to remember that I have driven with dilated eyes before, they give you those weird dark glasses which now look like a roll of film...weird...but Mom insisted, then I read on the form, bring someone with you to drive you home, so that made it pretty official.  :-\
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: sharkdiver on May 29, 2008, 10:50:29 pm
How on earth did I miss this thread,? geez!  a little late than never huh  ;D

Thanks for sharing Ron.

I do have to say i got exited when I saw the word "chainsaw".  I want one so bad. I have a yard that has not been cared for in 14 years.

big smiles
Sharkie
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 30, 2008, 03:32:25 am
Woke Katie up at 6am. I use the horn that comes on the wheelchair as an alarm....bee.beep beep. and she's like.."already?, I just got to sleep?..and I'm shooting back at her "girl, you've been in here snoring since 11pm. Snoring, used to be  literally, now it is figuratively as she took that sleep apnea test and is now on oxygen. But she still breathes heavily, which I can hear in the living room and I know it's been going on all night because I've been up all night...too excited to sleep. It's not everyday Mom takes me to an appointment. While waiting, I decide to see how the Duplex had fared with the 'obstacle' from my tree and ....it was gone. :o  You can say what you want about Mexicans, but they are fast and hard workers. So I had the camera with me as I was going to take a picture of it in the daylight, and I sense something on the ground at my right foot.

(http://img341.imageshack.us/img341/4329/613232959089206ms0.gif)


It was a TURTLE...

(http://img98.imageshack.us/img98/6590/613234519443039dt8.gif)

and I think It was laying eggs in the ground as it's butt was kind of down and in the ground and it wasn't trying to get away from me...

(http://img98.imageshack.us/img98/4418/613235826154108ao0.gif)

So after this excitement, Mom arrives and we head out.  I had done Mapquest and printed the directions and we both are looking at it and I wasted my ink as we decided to use another route than the one given ::) I wonder if they ask 'natives' before putting these things up on the web,as we had a 'better idea'   

  So we get there and the reason we had to look it up is because it is at the Salvation Army Building, which is a real nice red brick new affair. The affair just happens to be in a part of town middle and upper class people don't usually go through, unless lost, whereupon it is done very fast, as this is where the homeless huddle on sidewalks and on street corners with their belongings waiting to get a bed and a meal.

   Get in line to register and there is a waiting room with TV showing those TV court shows where these people have issues they want resolved cheaply. I finally get my name called and we are escorted to a partitioned room with three machines lined up on a table and a chair with wheels and.."put your chin here, and forehead here, and let the testing begin"...So after gazing at lights, and a hot air balloon over a dirt road in the middle of a field, and more flashing lights, I get to the eye chart.

   This is the one that makes me nervous as I remember looking in one of these the last time I had my drivers license renewed, in 2001. I did not wear glasses and had never thought of myself as having vision problems until that day, when she says "please read line 5"..??..and I'm just standing there and then I say.."have you turned it on yet?..."yes"..."here" and she makes an adjustment and there it is...I swear she just then turned it on, but instead I hear her saying as she is sliding my old license back at me "why don't you come back with glasses?" Well, I wasn't too happy about it, but I wanted to drive, so went and sure enough, I did not just get glasses, but I got TRIFOCALS....boy, did I feel old.

    So, then we have to go back to the waiting room as there are a lot of people and this is "these doctors are donating their time for free day" and then I get to see the doctor. She is a small woman, kind of skinny, who talks very slowly, enunciating her words very clearly, using her arms and hands and body as she emotes with the language as she is giving me directions and explaining her every move before doing it..more lights and the   "read that line...is this better or worse?...how about now?...how about now?...and then more lights and then she dilates my eyes and my meds are kicking in and I am starting to get groggy as sleepy as the lights had been turned down and  I had to shake it off....and it takes 30 minutes for the eyes to dilate, so back to the waiting room and more of Public Court. After sitting, I lean over to Mom and comment on the doctor..."she's a strange one, ain't she?" and Mom says  "yes, but she LIKED her"

.. and then back to the doctor and then some really bright intense bars of lights that made me want to close my eyes , and I was getting groggy again, either from stress, meds, having been up all night..I wanted to go to sleep, but resisted, SO I 've got a prescription for new glasses, to be picked up on Tuesday, as that is the day that Lens Crafters donates their free time. I do not have Glaucoma, which had been a concern. The floaters and seeing dark things running out of the corner of my eye are 'somewhat normal", should only worry if they stop floating or running but stand still and do not go away.

   Next week is going to be busy as I now have an appointment for labs on Monday, Lens Crafters on Tuesday, and Oral Surgeon Consult on Wednesday.( My dance card should be so full.)  So we get back to the house and Katie is back from her appointment to check her heart and Mom is visiting and I am getting lower and lower in the chair....I have wave after wave of sleepiness just overcome me and soon I am not going to resist,...and my head is lolling over and resting on my shoulder and I have slouched enough to have my ass ready to go over the edge of the chair..and Katie is telling Mom that it's my nap time....so Mom leaves and I make a quick lunch...soup and ham/cheese sandwiches and pass out on the couch. ...

  ..and awoke at 6pm and after taking 6pm meds, I set the Truvada/Virumane bottles next to the phone to remind me to call in for refills tomorrow. Put on my hiking boots and grab the 18" clippers as I have a very large Crepe Myrtle growing in the corner of the front yard and it had new growth trying to grow from the bottom and growing through the fence. Then I went to the back and decided to reduce the number of branches I have now exposed and start the monotonous loading up with as much as I could carry, or drag to the woodpile I had going in 'neighbors' woods.

    Mom did not bring a chainsaw today as she found a smallish 'safer' one for a beginner chainsawer  ::) and it is electric and needed to know how far the tree was from an outlet. ...clear in the back of the yard..but I have two to three orange extension cords so it should work as the basement has electrical outlets throughout...so after an hour of playing with wood ::)  I was good and sweaty ::) and called it a day.

   Putting my tools away, I heard a mans voice yelling at kids, it was Bubba Bear, with a woman, holding a baby and a undetermined amount of young-uns, causing my balloons to burst and rain clouds to hover over my parade. :( 
 
  Showered and dinner was sauteed chicken breast and red beans with rice. Then settled in to watch the season finale of LOST, and see the Truvada/Virumane bottles there next to the phone and start anguishing.."did I take them at 6pm?...did I take them and then set them there, or did I set them there knowing that I needed to call them in?." I felt sick worrying about it and then I finally remembered that I had taken them and then put them there... :-\ 


edited due to getting 'F'  and enough RED INK to make paper bleed.. ;D  sorrry, Cranky Old Hal...I'll do better... :D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Dachshund on May 30, 2008, 07:54:41 am
As a former teacher I'm beggin' you to please use paragraphs. Without them it makes reading your posts such a chore. I can't get through one.

Thanks,
Cranky ol' Hal


[attachment deleted by admin]
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 30, 2008, 10:04:45 am
As a former teacher I'm beggin' you to please use paragraphs. Without them it makes reading your posts such a chore. I can't get through one.

Thanks,
Cranky ol' Hal


Cranky Old Hal,  :D  ok, editing completed,..just for you..I went and made paragraphs. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't.

   I think it depends on if I'm reaching through the occasional fog after meds, or fighting to stay awake, and losing the battle, but still try to 'get it done' thinking I will edit after completing it, but instead..I hit send/post.
   
     Of course, this leads to when I'm responding and my mind is now traversing the room of lucidity that I find myself saying "..geez, this needs editing....and I catch things as I go along, but apparently there is a time limit on editing as all my posts that are older than 'posted yesterday' no longer have the option to be edited. :-\

thanks,
pentitent ronnie

Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Jeff G on May 30, 2008, 10:33:07 am
I'm sure glad you don't have Glaucoma , I think they make you smoke mary jane play bongo's and wear dreadlocks if get that .
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on May 30, 2008, 11:35:01 am
Cranky Old Hal,  :D  ok, editing completed,..just for you..I went and made paragraphs. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't.

   I think it depends on if I'm reaching through the occasional fog after meds, or fighting to stay awake, and losing the battle, but still try to 'get it done' thinking I will edit after completing it, but instead..I hit send/post.
   
     Of course, this leads to when I'm responding and my mind is now traversing the room of lucidity that I find myself saying "..geez, this needs editing....and I catch things as I go along, but apparently there is a time limit on editing as all my posts that are older than 'posted yesterday' no longer have the option to be edited. :-\

thanks,
pentitent ronnie



Oh Ronnie.........I wouldn't worry too much about your post being edited, most of us here can relate, I'm not that critical ;D and I NEVER WON a spelling bee......LOL....... I just go with flow  ;) thanks for sharing your LIFE with us, at least you have the BALLS to post it, most others Don't
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on May 30, 2008, 02:01:55 pm
I missed all but the last 15 minutes of Lost last night. I could just kick myself. I did however have a nice birthday dinner at some Italian restaurant I cant seem to remember the name of.
And the anxiety attack that comes when I get the menu at a place where I am unfamiliar with the food wasn't too bad.

As a bonus during the middle of my meal I had the opportunity to make faces in the background of someones pictures. The family in the table next to us where taking photos of each other. As soon as they noticed I was smiling and making stupid faces in the background of their photos they promptly put the camera away and tried to ignore the crazy lady.  ::)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on May 30, 2008, 02:54:03 pm
I missed all but the last 15 minutes of Lost last night. I could just kick myself. I did however have a nice birthday dinner at some Italian restaurant I cant seem to remember the name of.
And the anxiety attack that comes when I get the menu at a place where I am unfamiliar with the food wasn't too bad.

As a bonus during the middle of my meal I had the opportunity to make faces in the background of someones pictures. The family in the table next to us where taking photos of each other. As soon as they noticed I was smiling and making stupid faces in the background of their photos they promptly put the camera away and tried to ignore the crazy lady.  ::)


Well Winiro HAPPY BIRTHDAY  ;D belated that is..............I must say, you don't look a day over 25 my dear  ;D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on May 30, 2008, 05:51:59 pm
Thank you  ;D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on May 30, 2008, 07:10:20 pm
Thank you  ;D

Oh hunnie your very welcomed  ;D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 31, 2008, 12:20:42 am
I missed all but the last 15 minutes of Lost last night. I could just kick myself. I did however have a nice birthday dinner at some Italian restaurant I cant seem to remember the name of.
And the anxiety attack that comes when I get the menu at a place where I am unfamiliar with the food wasn't too bad.

As a bonus during the middle of my meal I had the opportunity to make faces in the background of someones pictures. The family in the table next to us where taking photos of each other. As soon as they noticed I was smiling and making stupid faces in the background of their photos they promptly put the camera away and tried to ignore the crazy lady.  ::)


Well that doesn't make sense. Don't they know they could send those photos in to Americas Funniest and you could probably have made them some money? :D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 31, 2008, 12:47:24 am
   Well, today is Friday. I know it is because it says so on my computer's Day/Time.  Otherwise I am totally clueless as I remember taking my 6am meds and I made lunch, fish sticks and tater tots...(cleaning out the freezer) and then I woke up at 6pm.

   Took my 6pm meds and then perused my arsenal of tools and chose the 'hoe' to chop up these dead vines that are 'holding' these dead branches to the ground. There must be a thousand of them all over the ground. Got out the lawn mower and ran over the dead stalks until the mower ran out of gas. As I was getting the hoe I kept hearing a bzztt...bzzztt ??

   Looking around I saw a spark in the top of one of neighbors trees in the woods on the fence line. zztt...spark...and I immediately thought "well, this can't be good"...So I go inside and have Katie call the Electric Company. Katie is good at these things as I cannot stand being on hold, for more that 1 minute before hanging up. Katie will sit there for 20 or minutes...and did....and then gets through and explains the situation and the lady says that they are swamped...it's 7pm Friday Night, so yeah, they probably are.....NOT....and there will be serviceman there between now and 10pm...

   I shower and make dinner..sauteed chicken breast, rice and great white northern beans, and boy were they dry without my usual dollop of extra butter :-\....triglycerides... :(

Serviceman shows at 8pm, just as I'm sitting down to eat,  and I take him around back and it's getting dark and I point to the top of a tree against a dark blue evening sky and these sparks are everywhere....Fire Flies..they seem to be everywhere this year....and I'm thinking that he's thinking that I must have thought that the fire flies were the sparks when a breeze moves the top of the tree and zzttt...spark...

So, I got his attention, and he notices that there are vines growing on the lines and they will send a cutting crew out on Monday/Tuesday to cut them back 10 feet.

Come back in and eat my dinner and am going to force myself to sleep at midnight, by laying down. Going to sleep is not the problem/ How long I stay asleep, is the question, but I'm going to try.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: BT65 on May 31, 2008, 07:48:18 am
Hey Ronnie,

Ugh, electrical problems.  I remember about 20 years ago where I lived we had a terrible electric storm.  Me and my friends were all roaring drunk.  Across the street, some lines came down and started a small fire.  Of course I called the fire department (who got ahold of the electric company), but my friends and I all sat out on my porch watching it in amazement (which probably wouldn't have happened if we weren't smashed). 

I don't like holding on the phone either.  I hope you got some sleep last night.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on May 31, 2008, 09:53:05 am
Thanks Betty,

At midnight, I stopped everything and told myself to go lay down. Which, when I become horizontal,  I always nod out. I awoke at 4am, and after a trip to 'el bano' (Spanish, for bathroom), forced myself to lie down again. This time, I just lay there, looking at the back of my eye lids for about 30 minutes and then awoke at 7am...dang it...took 6am meds at 7am and Cookie got here at 730.

 She is also a bus driver and even though school is out for the summer there is still summer school and excursions and she did not make it on Friday, so she came today. She is really a good person and takes real good care of Katie and every now and then she will shoot the vacuum into my bedroom for a quickie, or mop my bathroom floor...it always gives me goose bumps when she does that as I'm not used to it. I'm used to having to do everything myself.

When finally getting through to the electric company, I was struck by how blase they were being about it, even made the statement that "if it creates a fire before we get there, call the fire department.o.o ...I wanted to say, "why don't we just go ahead and call the fire department and then have them call you?" :-\
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 01, 2008, 12:27:28 am
   Cookie left at 930 I called in my refills and then grabbed the grocery list and headed for Walmart. I'm walking in from the parking lot, actually more like  stumping, hobbling, limping as If I try to walk normally, with a seductive swish and sway, I get a sharp stab in my left lower back, which is it's way of saying..stop that"... ::)

Make it through the first three aisles before my back really starts to scream and my legs get real heavy and aching. I'm so glad I have my list so I can go down only necessary aisles and get out of there. They have a table set up outside offering a family dental plan for $19.95 and I can honestly tell them I'm not interested as 'I'm already covered"  ;)

Unload the groceries and hit the couch. Awake at 6pm and take 6pm meds. I take the long handled pruning shears as I am working on the crepe myrtle, a little at a time. It has grown, untended for the past ten years and is almost as tall as the neighbors oak tree. I want to bring it back to earth like I see around all these new buildings who has cut them low so they bush at the top and have a better show when they bloom. They also have a beautiful polished finish on the branches and they have a type of cork screw look...I'm thinking my floor vase needs a new arrangement. ;)

Then I take the hoe and continue working on these large branches that have now been on the ground so long they have started to decay and hitting them with the hoe, they crumble into a pile of .dirt...and in their death, they are full of life. there are ants (probably termites)  worms, snails, and they are busy as I have dug the hoe in and pulled back, exposing the middle of the branch and their secret cities......Barney Bug rushes home to Betty bug shouting as he enters their living quarters..."honey, grab the kids, ...we're moving"...

I got a good 30 minutes in and was sweating, so came in and showered and by now it' 830pm and I don't feel like cooking as my back already hurts and cooking just makes it hurt more, so I make a management decision..Whataburger..

And they are showing a repeat of Andromeda Strain, so now I know what happened. :D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: BT65 on June 01, 2008, 10:29:54 am
Ronnie, I suggest when you go to these stores, you might want to go around in them in one of those little electric wheelchair things (do you know what I'm talking about).  I used to use them all the time. In fact, my ex-partner and I used to both get in one, and race each other up and down the aisles.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 01, 2008, 11:47:54 am
Ronnie, I suggest when you go to these stores, you might want to go around in them in one of those little electric wheelchair things (do you know what I'm talking about).  I used to use them all the time. In fact, my ex-partner and I used to both get in one, and race each other up and down the aisles.

LOL ;D Yes, I know of them...
Mom has brought it up too. The only thing is there is never one available. I see them in the aisles, filled with children, or teens taking a joyride, or BLOCKING  the aisle, or abandoned because they stopped working..usually in use for anything or everything but what they were intended for :D
and then, part of my 'cardio' is walking and going through Walmart is a part of my exercise regime.  :-\

Can hardly wait for my Dr appointment on Monday. I've got a list:
 #1  At the top is this sleeping thing. I tried to lay down last night at midnight and it did no good. I was awake again after 3 hours and could not go back to sleep until 730 am. Whereupon, I awoke again at 9am. ..nuts..

#2 I appear to have turned into a '3 hour dog.'..When I leave the house for shopping, or for an appointment,even doing the yard work, I'll be doing fine, and then when that 3 hour mark hits, I am suddenly just ...tired..and want to go to sleep...and all my body aches seem to wake up...when I do get home, I'm no good for nothing until I've laid down for a nap, which turns into a Rip Van Winkle story...weird..

#3 And this swallowing my food and it getting stuck, and it feels like I'm swallowing scalding hot coffee and it hits my stomach and ...I almost double up from the pain. It only does this on like the first two bites, and then it subsides..I almost have reached the point where I don't want to take that first bite anymore..and I've learned to sit up straight as an arrow and lift my chin to get it unstuck. It's become a CHORE and a tiny nightmare  just to eat....weird

#4 My feet are really acting up lately. They are cramping and then when I stand up they..pop, pop, as though they have bunched up and the bones are spreading out...and my ankle has a burning itch ...weird...

#5 Eventually, they are going to have to give me an MRI on my back, as I complain about every time they see me...maybe it's on a list or on a back burner like when I kept complaining about my bleary vision and then out of the blue I have an eye exam.... :-\

#6 My cheeks are getting a sunken look to me...HIV or Old Age? and what can I do about it. Of course, I look just fine to my family. but I see it, especially in pictures, which I might post one if I can just get my hair to do right.. :D

On the lighter side..little head is having no problems....I've been having some good times with Mr Hand... :D

According to the bathroom scales, I've lost 5 lbs..that's good, I guess, but after what I been through, all I can say is  "Is that ALL?...maybe they're broke... :D...let me take off these reading glasses and peel off my 'panties' and see if it will make a difference.. ;D







Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Jeff G on June 01, 2008, 05:03:54 pm
You crack me up ... you really do .
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on June 01, 2008, 07:28:48 pm
You crack me up ... you really do .

I was thinking the same thing.

I gave up on the scale. It is a liar and it obviously hates me.  ;)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: BT65 on June 02, 2008, 12:36:46 pm
I gave up on the scale. It is a liar and it obviously hates me.  ;)

The only time I get on a scale is when I see my doctor.  I don't even own one.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on June 02, 2008, 12:49:25 pm
Betty
Thats been my approach as well.  It does only, however, delay the inevitable bad news so maybe I should just stop going to my doctor.  I know what she is going to say:  Joel, you have to loose weight".  Then she will lecture me about diabetes and old age and being overweight. She scared me into quitting smoking with the trick breatholizer test....wherein I failed.  And she then told me "YOU have early stage emphasema" and then followed the lecture:" Do you want to retire and be one of those old people who have to carry around an oxygen tank?"
True story:  one of our long time residents of Northern Liberties ( my neighborhood) is on hospice care right now with emphasema and she is in hospital. She called a friend of mine to come get her cause she needs to get out.  She NEEDS a cigarette.  And the poor dear soul enjoyed smoking so much.  She and I used to light up together.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: BT65 on June 02, 2008, 01:01:29 pm
Well, it's been almost a week since I had a cigarette.  I'm using the patch.  I'm not saying I'm quitting for good, because I always end up going back.  But, I'm giving it another shot.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 03, 2008, 01:07:42 am
Well, Joel, did her trick work? Did you quit smoking?

Go Betty....I think that you will do it this time.

Well, today I saw Dr Debbie and gave her my list:

#1/#4  After discussing with her my sleeping habits, or the lack thereof, she wrote me a prescription for Trazodone/50mg/as needed. The reason for as needed is because she is upping my dose of Gabapentin from 300mgs/once a day to 600 mgs/ once a day and this is going to make me sleepy so that I may not need the Trazodone to sleep. We'll see. I have never taken a sleeping pill in my life and was very leery at the thought of it. The increased Gabapentin should help with the cramping I have been experiencing in my feet.

#2 Fatigue should be helped by getting a regular nights sleep, but she confessed that the blood pressure medicine does have a side effect of making one feel tired. My blood pressure was 142/87. For which I am taking Atenolol/50mg/twice a day.

#3 Swallowing difficulties and burning stomach. After we discussed how this was a recent onset, having started within the last 2 weeks and getting worse, she finally noted that I have been taking the antibiotic Clindamycin/300mgs/3x since 21april08. When I mentioned that I usually felt a slight burning in stomach after taking the afternoon pill, she pulled out her Blackberry and pulled up that this is a strong antibiotic and I should not have been on it this long, It has side effects of esophagitis, it has  irritated/inflamed my esophagus and stomach.

The reason for taking it was for the oral surgery, which I have had to jump through hoops for the past month just to get the consult for Oral Surgery this Wednesday. Then there's the actual  Surgery and I can stop taking it. So we've compromised to a decrease in dosage to 300mgs/twice a day and she wrote a prescription for Ranitidine(Zantac)/150mg/twice a day for my poor throat and tummy.

#5 My back pain..is on a back burner. She has written it down in my chart and it's on hold until we get this oral business out of the way. She was going to write me a prescription for a pain killer, which I refused as I have been dealing with it. If I can't deal with it, then maybe, but having been a drug addict, and knowing my addictive personality, I was not ready to go down that road at this time.

#6 Facial Wasting...she mentioned that I have been losing weight. When I was weighed, it was 250lbs. Down from 258. So I have lost 8lbs. Something else to be written down and put on back burner for a later date.

I remembered  this time to get my lab results:

March07                   April07
CD4 330      23%       CD4 427      25%
VL  452,000              VL  383,000

PN/INR 4.0
should be 2.0-3.0 so increased Warfarin from 7mgs to 8mgs

Boy, I still got a ways to go. :-\


Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: BT65 on June 03, 2008, 07:05:53 am
Ronnie, you may have a ways to go, but just prioritize and take things in their importance.  You know what I'm talking about.  Good luck with the new meds.  Trazadone is a good med for sleep, and not addicting.  Actually, it's an antidepressant called Deseryl that has good sleep properties.    I hope the increase in Gabapentin works for you. I'm on 2400 mgs a day and it does fine for me.

Good luck with everything!
  Luv,
Betty
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Jeff G on June 03, 2008, 07:45:40 am
Hang in there Ronnie , you have already come a long way . I have been taking trazodone for years for sleep and it works for me . I was also dealing with a long battle with depression that abruptly stopped shortly after starting trazodone .
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 03, 2008, 09:04:23 am
Thanks Betty, Jeff,

I was a little disappointed at the results and having two more pills added to my regime, but have resigned myself that It's not going to be like a fast, Two-Step on the dance floor, but more of the 'Bunny Hop'  :-\  :D

At least I got a 2% raise, which translated to a workplace setting is about par for the course. ;)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on June 03, 2008, 09:31:14 am
Ron.....it all sounds good.
 I think finding out that the antibiotic is causing the burning is a good thing!
I am wondering if you have tried sleeping in your own bed yet? 
The weight loss sounds fine.
Joel
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 03, 2008, 11:01:40 am
Thanks Joel,

Since you asked, No, my bed still waits for me...

(http://img141.imageshack.us/img141/1668/619564964077616tq9.jpg)

Did I ever mention that I collect dragons and Harry Potter? My Little sister, the artist, drew the picture on the wall for me when she was 14. She had no idea what a dragon was and after I described it to her and she drew it..I wonder if I knew what one was also :D

(http://img529.imageshack.us/img529/9091/619566547197000ft3.gif)

This is my drug...err..nurses..station...err my dresser. :-\ The right cabinet door has a lineup and when I get the left cleaned out, the rest will line up and then out of sight until needed...I also collect gnomes, who reside on top of my dresser keeping a watch over me... :D The books are my Harry Potter collection and Terry Pratchett....the rest of my books were sold to Half Price Books...19 crates, a survival moment for money...

(http://img514.imageshack.us/img514/61/619568773742007ml1.gif)


This is where Darcell laid and also behind the headboard, there is a floor vent she would lay on when she had hot flashes..the bed is about 3 feet out making a little walkway ....

(http://img179.imageshack.us/img179/37/619571063970280yz4.gif)

One of my many views . See the deck? If only it could be extended to the corner of the house and those windows turned into French Doors I could sit out there pretending I'm in New Orleans sipping Coffee Royale....waiting for George of the Jungle , Brendan Frasier :P :P

(http://img247.imageshack.us/img247/1128/619574960889170uc4.gif)

But, this is where I park it, when the urge hits, with my legs elevated, the TV and the computer all within view and easy access.  :D

(http://img84.imageshack.us/img84/272/619579592360262yj9.gif)




Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 04, 2008, 12:30:19 am
Today, I was to go to LensCrafters and get my new BiFocal Glasses. Their free services were from 12-2. I called to see if they were actually IN the mall or in the strip mall that surrounded the mall, and they were IN the mall...dang it. I haven't been inside a mall for years. So I leave a little early, which was a good thing as they have decided to widen the road due to the construction of a new Super Target and everyone had to merge to one lane, and that was to the right lane, but these idiots who have to be somewhere, yesterday, kept driving right up to the barricades and jamming the traffic. >:(,

so instead of being early, I was just on time. This lady took my RX from me and pulled out a tray of frames....oh agony , a-go-nee, ...I don't like wearing glasses anyway and think that none of them look good, so I go through the whole tray and finally have to pick the most acceptable ones, and wouldn't you know? The ones I selected, they didn't have in stock, and they have to be  ordered, and they will call in about five days. :-\

So,  I'm at the mall, and decide to see what's new and get some 'cardio' in...this is not from my own inspiration but from watching several, older gents, just hooking it, all up one side and down the other side..they must have REALLY got a bad report from the doctor. :D

So  I'm walking to the best of my ability as my hips start to ache and my legs start to get heavy and I smell food, and remember that there is a food court somewhere and decide to find it and bring home lunch. Ridgmar Mall is not a small affair, and I keep walking, past 'Needless Markups' errr Neiman Marcus and there is a lovely fountain with five gigantic turtles surrounding a pond and spewing water from their mouths and then there is an indoor playground with kids playing, and there are these 'seating stations' with these bucket seats that advertise they vibrate and massage, I did not sit in them as they were not free.

 ..and then I start seeing all these booths in the middle of the aisle and one of them has a cute teenager who suddenly comes and gets me and coerces me back to his booth. He has a very heavy accent and speaks very rapidly and I see that he is selling Dead Sea Mineral salts and stuff, and he takes my left hand and asks me to pick a finger. Curious, I pick my index finger and he points out that my cuticles are in poor condition and to just look at those ridges on my finger nails.. 0.0 .

 .. .then he takes a block file and starts filing and has dipped in something and is just chatting away, and then he stops and says, 'now when I show you this, you must promise not to kiss me?"..o.0 ....and I'm like..:"huh?...and he repeats,,emphatically that I must promise not to kiss him...>.> ...<.< ...so I 'm confused, and assure him that, he has nothing to worry about..and he removes the block file and shows my fingernail is all nice and shiny....and he's excited about it, and pulls out this Kit, that he's selling for $60.00 and I can do ALL of my nails....I tell him that I don't like my fingernail being all shiny..he gets confused, and I again say, 'I don't like it'...

...so he asks me my name and I tell him "ronnie". and ask his and he give me name as "ah-maz-in doo-dee", is what I heard, and I'm like  "huh?" .. and he repeats it and I interpret it as "a-maz-ing dude?"..and he smiles and I smile and he takes me to another side of the booth where he has a bowl and he takes a spoonful of green oily sand, and takes my right hand and points out my rough and dry skin... 0.0 ...which amazes me as this is Mr Hand who moisturizes himself daily for the love of his life Little Head... 8)

    He has me rub my hands together......so I say, "gee I feel like I'm at the beach" and he has this spray bottle, which I guess is rinsing this sandy mixture off my hands...and they do feel all nice and smooth and even have a perfumed smell..and as he's reaching for the box to sell this goody, I promptly say, "I don't like it"...and he says  "huh?"...and I say "I don't like it, I don't like my hands to smell like perfume.."...

   So he says "so you're not interested even if I give you a special promotion of half off?...and I say, "I wouldn't be interested even if they fell off the back of the truck"...

   So, I'm continuing with my 'cardio' and going up the escalator, I see these things that look like stationary bikes only they have these rings in front of them and you bend over and put your face in the hole and they are to give you a massage?..sitting up?...and I'm giving them a wide berth, as It's not free and no I'm not interested in half off and I find the food court and buy two chicken quesadillas.

   I'm now heading for the end of the mall I came in and I'm on the upper level and...there's another Dead Sea Mineral salt and stuff and another cute teenager, only this one is much cuter and I almost get ready to get another shiny finger nail, when I notice he is more interested in eating his lunch.. :D

   Get home and we eat and I am going through my life in a bag looking for the name of this lady with  Financing at the hospital who might be able to help remove this debt. I am already at peace that I am not going to pay it, but if there is a clerical error on their part that can be corrected, ..why not?

   I call and immediately hit a wall of gatekeepers and finally I decide to stir things up, so I take out my stick and knock it upside the beehive by saying.."I've already been reclassified, and in the process was told that there had been an error in calculating my income, they had added some things twice and had given me credit for all money turned into the company when I just get a percentage.....

 .....immediately, I know that I have hit a nerve..."who told you that?"..."I don't have a name, but would like to talk to Carolyn"...so I get transferred to her desk, which I get a recording, left my name and number and the nature of my business and then went to sleep.

   Awoke at 6pm and took my 6pm meds and as I had already had cardio at the mall earlier, went ahead and showered, and cooked dinner, sauteed chicken breasts, rice, pinto beans with jalapenos and fresh strawberries dipped in strawberry yogurt.

   Tomorrow is my consult with the Oral Surgeon....which I fear most of all. Heretofore, everything has been outside invasion. My mouth is internal invasion with the purpose of the removal of a part of me. :(

   
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: BT65 on June 04, 2008, 07:07:45 am
Ronnie, I'm keeping my fingers and legs crossed for you today, and thinking of you.  Don't think the worst (hard to do, I know, because I always do). 
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 04, 2008, 09:40:27 am
Ronnie, I'm keeping my fingers and legs crossed for you today, and thinking of you.  Don't think the worst (hard to do, I know, because I always do). 

Thanks Betty...but...

I got all dressed up, had my life in a bag all in order and made an extra trip to the bathroom to be extra sure...
Woke up Katie to tell her I was leaving and her voice comes wafting from the darkness of her bedroom and stops  me dead in my tracks:

Today is Wednesday. You're appointment is on Thursday. So I start tearing through paperwork and then pull up my calendar on my trusty computer and it confirms that she is right.

So there I was, all dressed up, no place to go, and feeling very foolish:  :-[

(http://img296.imageshack.us/img296/3654/621014651414453yc2.jpg)

I guess I'll lay down, elevate this bum leg, and see what's on TV before I drift off to LALA Land... ;)

(http://img65.imageshack.us/img65/870/74279342mb0.gif)

edited to add:..good grief, instead of getting to have a lie down, I noticed those cobwebs in the corner of the ceiling and much to the chagrin of Morticia Addams I had to get my big purple fluffy duster with the extended handle and spent a good ten minutes going around the edges of the entire house. didn't break a sweat, but Im adding that to my daily cardio journal.. 8)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Snowangel on June 04, 2008, 12:04:40 pm
Ronnie-
Good luck with your appointment- tomorrow!! ;D  Nice pics of you and your room. Your bed looks very comfy.

Good thing you weren't interested in the dead sea products.  They got me one time when I was in the mall, and those jars are like 50 bucks each or more....some ridiculous amount.

Snow
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on June 04, 2008, 12:20:14 pm
I hate it when mall kiosk employees try to lure me into buying crap I dont need.

I usually pretend like I am deaf and avoid making eye contact.  ;D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Snowangel on June 05, 2008, 08:03:32 pm
How did your appointment go?
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 06, 2008, 01:13:29 am
   Today, is the day for the consult with the Oral surgeon. I worked myself up in to such a tizzy that I could not sleep. I finally had a lie down around 4am and was up at 6am taking my meds. The appointment was for 9am and I intended to leave early as their parking garage gets full early and parking can be a hassle after that.

 I got to chat with a lovely elderly couple in the waiting room and when they called my name I almost played amnesia as though I didn't know who that was, but BRAVELY got up and answered the call. Sat in the chair and then all these Doctors started wandering in and out, each asking why I was there and "open your mouth" while putting on these blue gloves from a never-ending box on the wall as every time someone entered the room, they were putting on a pair of these blue gloves.

Then I got an XRAY done and got to sit there looking at it on the wall on its lighted panel as the parade of doctors came in again and studied it and then this young man comes in and explains to me that the back molar was suffering from periodontal "something" and that since the molar was loose that food and bacteria had entered the root and it got infected and started eating the bone away.

This could have been avoided if I had been a "good boy" and gone to the dentist in the recommended two year intervals instead of waiting 7 years, but, here we were in the present, and now I had what they loosely termed a "bad tooth". Then this young man states that if I wanted, he could have it out in 5 seconds.  ???

So, my mind is racing and my heart is beating and I'm like "you mean TODAY, RIGHT NOW?"....and he says "yes". "And you do know that I am on warfarin?"  "yes, but the tooth is loose and only barely connected to any bone and should have no problem just pulling it out with minimal  resistance, and minimal bleeding."

So I'm sitting there and my mind is racing, and I'm thinking of how Long it took me to get here, and of copays and it's got to come out sooner or later and being infected it might as well be sooner than later and I ask "will this change the shape of my face? and he smiles and says "no" and "I will be able to drive myself home?"   "yes" and so I agree and tell him to do it.

So he starts to numb my gums and I' shaking all over in pure FEAR and I say "can't you just knock me out?" and he smiles and says that it won't be necessary, and continues to numb the area. Then he takes these two 'tools' and starts to pull and "OUCH"

"Does that hurt?" "YES" "hmmm, you shouldn't be feeling anything", so he reshoots my gums and asks if the front of my  lip is numb yet.  "nope" ...so he reshoots my gum and "now?" and "nope" and "dang, you're hard to numb". and re-reshoots and finally he decides to try again and pulls and "OUCH", so he waits a bit and I can feel that the tooth is coming out and I say "just do it, just like a sticker, keep puling till it's out and get it over with"...so he does and it comes out.

And I am in shock, and just sitting there and trembling and he is not happy as he expected to see a blob of granulated tissue stuck to the root and there wasn't any. So he gets some of the other doctors who all come in and look at the tooth and the XRAY and they confer and the 'leader' states that I should come back in one month and if there is still a dark spot in the XRAY then they will do a biopsy.

I'm thinking that there is now a gaping hole in my jaw and now would be a wonderful opportunity for a biopsy, but apparently not having had 8-12 years of medical school my opinion don't count  :-\

Then I get a rolled up gauze sponge to bite down on for 1 hour and then given a box of them, just in case, and he writes me a prescription for pain, which this time I do not refuse as I am remembering what I have just been through and he says I can go.  ??? And I thank him and then I say."hey doc?" and he's "what?" and I say "the front of my lip is numb now" as is the whole left side of my face! :D

I 'm like, "that's it?"a and he say "that's it" So I get up and collect my things and go down to the pharmacy and get my pain pills and getting in my truck I look in the mirror and see this huge lump in my cheek :o and then I remember I have a gauze sponge in my mouth and I don't open my mouth to look as I'm not ready to look yet.

I'm really hungry now and thirsty and I force myself to drive by Jack in the Box, and Wendy's, and Whataburger, and Sonic, and Griff's, and KFC, and  Grandy's, and I'm in a sweat now, because I am hungry and need a huge reward, but I am going to hold out until I get home. Stop and buy gas at Shell, and it's  $3.89gal. I spend $54.00 which is $3.00 more than my last fill up. I did get a surprise when the bill came in as I got a rebate of $20.00 last time making my fill up $30.00 instead of $50.00 and am hoping for the same this time.

Get home and make turkey sandwiches and call Mom and give her the results of my 'Consult" turned "Surgery" and then lie down and don't wake up until 6pm in time for 6pm meds. Decide to go to Griff's and have burgers for dinner (red meat to help replace my lost blood  ::))

Now, the numbness has worn off somewhat,and I am surprised that I don't feel any more pain then I do. It is tolerable but I go ahead and check the pain killers and see that they are Hydrocodone/APAP and have a small moment as I've known people who have gone crazier than a spotted ass monkey on this shit and would probably be beating  my door down  if they knew I had it. Well, I'll just have to cross that bridge when I come to it if the pain becomes any worse as the numbness wears off.

And then I slap my forehead as I realize that I don't have my tooth to put under my pillow. Will the Tooth Fairy pass me by?  ??? I am upset at this  loss of income. >:(  :D




Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Snowangel on June 06, 2008, 07:26:08 am
LOL.  Sounds like things went well!
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on June 06, 2008, 10:49:25 am
Get home and make turkey sandwiches and call Mom and give her the results of my 'Consult" turned "Surgery" and then lie down and don't wake up until 6pm in time for 6pm meds. Decide to go to Griff's and have burgers for dinner (red meat to help replace my lost blood  )
...............................
Ron
I thought it was supposed to be soup after that kind of surgery. How are you doing now?

Joel
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 06, 2008, 11:18:20 am
Get home and make turkey sandwiches and call Mom and give her the results of my 'Consult" turned "Surgery" and then lie down and don't wake up until 6pm in time for 6pm meds. Decide to go to Griff's and have burgers for dinner (red meat to help replace my lost blood  )
...............................
Ron
I thought it was supposed to be soup after that kind of surgery. How are you doing now?

Joel

I was just thinking about the rigamarole I had to go through to get to that consult and all the fears I had been given regarding the blood thinners....as I come out of the daze I wonder, did I get stellar, state of the art, this is the year 2008 service, or was it almost a completely reckless and irrational act?

I asked him if I could eat and he said whatever I wanted. I just have to "swish" after meals to make sure there is nothing in that hole till it heals over.

The whole situation became so surreal when he said, I can have it out in 10 seconds, right now, today. I still have to stick my tongue back there to make sure I didn't just dream it all.

At the consult with the "regular" doctor to get a referral, I was told I would need to go off blood thinners three days before the procedure and would be taking Lovenox shots.....that didn't happen.

I was told that yesterday was just a consult and would be given a date for the surgery....instead I had the extraction right there.

I didn't bleed to death. I'm not really in too much pain, in fact I am more obsessed with the feeling of biting down and that tooth isn't there. The tooth that was next to it now feels absolutely huge.

He stated that it would be healed within five days. I felt like a 'Pioneer" when the women would give birth to babies out in the field and keep working...and then go home and cook..



Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on June 06, 2008, 02:07:15 pm
I had a molar pulled in 1997 because of an abscess. I asked them if I could have the tooth they looked at me like I was a total loony and said "No, it is a biohazard."

LOL because I have AIDS my teeth are biohazards and I am not allowed to keep them.

What a crock  ;D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on June 06, 2008, 02:19:18 pm
I know someone who keeps all the teeth he's lost on a necklace around his neck...kind of like a ZULU warrior or something.  He's into wrestling and all sorts of rough stuff so knocking teeth out may be a sport for him.  Come to think of it....maybe they are teeth from OTHER people.
I am making ceramic beads for a necklace....they look like teeth...lol.  When I'm done I'll show it to you.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on June 06, 2008, 02:24:19 pm
I know someone who keeps all the teeth he's lost on a necklace around his neck...Come to think of it....maybe they are teeth from OTHER people.

Creeeeeepy LOL

Cant wait to see the necklace.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 06, 2008, 11:44:53 pm
I had a molar pulled in 1997 because of an abscess. I asked them if I could have the tooth they looked at me like I was a total loony and said "No, it is a biohazard."

LOL because I have AIDS my teeth are biohazards and I am not allowed to keep them.

What a crock  ;D

Maybe you should consider having them all pulled...for your own safety of course. :D and for the safety of your boyfriend...just think of the contamination level from every little kiss.. ::)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on June 07, 2008, 01:24:21 am
Maybe you should consider having them all pulled...for your own safety of course. :D and for the safety of your boyfriend...just think of the contamination level from every little kiss.. ::)

I envy my otherhalf (BOB) he has a full set of dentures..........I have mostly all crowns, I had VERY GOOD Dental, back when I worked, but I have to replace them crowns every FIVE yrs. cuz that's all Ryan White will allow me to, (or only what the will cover) but I'm a good BOY, I brush & Floss twice a day sometimes 3 times a day..........I have to use my ASO's Ryan White Dental Program, cuz I don't qualify for medicade (I make too much, or so medicade says) I have some co-pays for dental, but they aren't that bad tho..........THANK GOD for Ryan White Dental, if it weren't for that, I wouldn't  have ANY Dental coverage at all................ :)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 07, 2008, 07:26:40 am
Joel,
a necklace of ceramic beads that look like teeth? Is this a seasonal apparel, like for Halloween?  :D

denb,
 I bet Bob envies your crowns. I bet you have a purty smile ;)

I fortunately, and in spite of my horrible dental care,  still have all of my teeth, minus the Wisdom Teeth and this one molar. Being born in the Panhandle of Texas and growing up drinking nothing but Artesian well water, my teeth are pretty strong. Every time I go to the dentist, and they take one look at my teeth, they know, and will proudly tell me where I was born.

When my Wisdom Teeth came in they were impacted. I had too many teeth in my mouth and there was no room for them. One Christmas I was eating some cookies made with nuts, and a piece of nut got stuck and got infected and my gum swoll up like an earthworm.

I was in my 20's.  and I have never been fond of going to the dentist, no matter how cute they may be, as they always seemed to hurt me, right after promising that "this isn't going to hurt"....."yeah, right"...He squashed my gums and all this gunk and the offending piece of nut came out. He gave me some antibiotics and told me that they needed to come out and to come back next week.

20 years later....I still had my wisdom teeth, by applying the dental technique I had observed:  if something gets stuck, squash it out. And it worked for 20 years. Then, one day, it didn't...

I found myself with a severe, down to the jaw and neck infection and since I thought I was dying, agreed to have them removed.

Mom brought me and was waiting for me, and when an inordinate amount of time had passed, decided to check on me. (I have terrible veins..they hide and go deep at the mere mention of a needle) So, when Mom found me, in surgery, she also noted that one of my shoes was missing....After being apprised of my situation, she asked if they had removed my shoe so I couldn't run away..again..(they had been looking for a vein and giving up had finally gassed me.)

 so...now I had absolutely no feeling in my mouth area, and it was full of gauze, and I had a prescription for Vicadent, in case of any pain...

.ronnie is holding a vicadent tablet and sticking it in his eye, nose, can't find his mouth...Mom looks at him...those are for when the anaesthesia wears off and pain starts..ronnie remembers the last thing the surgeon said before passing out...now this is going to be a small pinch...then...CRAAACK...then total blackness....and this memory, spurs me to find my pie hole and swallow this vicadent as I NEVER want to experience even the slightest pain I can think of that could be associated with that CRAAACK ...

ronnie looks at Mom and says...do you think the Tooth Fairy still has my address..I got four to go under the pillow tonight, and these must have accumulated interest by now...ronnie thinks he is smiling....i still believe
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on June 07, 2008, 10:45:08 am
Maybe you should consider having them all pulled...for your own safety of course. :D and for the safety of your boyfriend...just think of the contamination level from every little kiss.. ::)

LOL I doubt kissing would come to mind if I suddenly had no teeth. He'd be thinking about entertainment below the horizon.

I'll pass. I prefer to eat with my very own firmly secure chompers. We will just have to deal with what ever horrible afflictions come with me having a AIDS infested mouth. LOL
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on June 07, 2008, 11:29:45 am
LOL I doubt kissing would come to mind if I suddenly had no teeth. He'd be thinking about entertainment below the horizon.

I'll pass. I prefer to eat with my very own firmly secure chompers. We will just have to deal with what ever horrible afflictions come with me having a AIDS infested mouth. LOL

Ronnie he's likes having dentures, but, I have to tell him to wear them (put them in when we leave to house).I told him he looks a lot better with them in his mouth, but he doesn't like to wear them all the time.......

Winiroo...I bet you have a purty smile and you are a wonderfull person  ;)
but, as far as I know........unless you have any beelding gums or bad teeth, form what I was told by most dentist..you cannot pass HIV to someone else that way, unless they have a open-sore in there mouth, and you have beelding gums.... There have been some reported cases or mouth to mouth HIV infections, but it's VERY RARE........and NO, you do not have an AIDS infested mouth, did you know that Salvia KILLS most HIV bacteria that lives in your mouth? YES Salvia is a wonderfull thing, and we all have it  :) but please understand, that the jury is STILL OUT on any of this, and it all depends on just who you talk to about it, most Dentist as well as some Doctors.....might tell you something TOTALLY DIFFERENT
but I wouldn't worry too much about it, if I were you  ;D  Good Oral Hygiene is VERY Important for us HIV'ers, and it's half the battle  :)

My otherhalf is HIV-NEG, and still is NEG after 15 yrs. and he has NO Teeth (dentures)..........I have good dental Hygiene, maybe that's why he has NEVER become HIV-POZ (not that he's trying to get HIV).....or maybe he's just lucky........my doctor told me he could be amuned to HIV, but the funny thing in all of this is......we both have the same Blood Type 0 + poz, maybe that has something to do with it too..............dunno?
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 07, 2008, 12:14:48 pm
denb...LOL...my Gmom loved her dentures too. She got sick and tired of bridges ? and playing with the dentist who wanted out pull one here and then one there...she finally just took matters in her own hands  and pulled the rest of her teeth herself just so she could get dentures.  :D

I've heard about saliva killing the virus and that's one of the reasons for the controversy of oral sex.

Now that I'm getting myself all fixed up maybe I'll try one of these support groups and meet some people. 8)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on June 07, 2008, 12:26:36 pm
denb...LOL...my Gmom loved her dentures too. She got sick and tired of bridges ? and playing with the dentist who wanted out pull one here and then one there...she finally just took matters in her own hands  and pulled the rest of her teeth herself just so she could get dentures.  :D

I've heard about saliva killing the virus and that's one of the reasons for the controversy of oral sex.

Now that I'm getting myself all fixed up maybe I'll try one of these support groups and meet some people. 8)

Yes everything us HIV'ers do seems to be of some controversy, oral sex, bareback sex, or whatever...........as for the HIV-support groups go....I stay away form all of them, (I already have someone to sleep next to at night)........and I have been to most supports groups, but all they seem to do, is try to pick-up-each other, and they almost NEVER talk about HIV...........don't get me wrong ronnie, but, I suppose if your looking for love, that might be a good place to start, and if you do........ GOOD LUCK, (I'd go out and look somewhere else, if i were you) my expirence with support groups have NOT been very good, not to mention the fact that they treat my otherhalf of 15 yrs. LIKE SHIT, cuz he's not HIV-POZ.............so I don't go to any of them, to me they are kinda worthless  ??? I have lived in a lotta places in my 20 yrs. of having HIV, and I can tell you THIS, most ASO's Support Groups are all that way, they all think that way, so that's why I can't be bothered with any of them.........I cannot understand why people can be so MEAN!  ??? we are a discorrdent couple (he's NEG & I'm POZ) I find it VERY interesting that it seems to bother most people........
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on June 07, 2008, 12:32:22 pm
Winiroo...I bet you have a purty smile and you are a wonderfull person  ;)
but, as far as I know........unless you have any beelding gums or bad teeth, form what I was told by most dentist..you cannot pass HIV to someone else that way, unless they have a open-sore in there mouth, and you have beelding gums.... There have been some reported cases or mouth to mouth HIV infections, but it's VERY RARE........and NO, you do not have an AIDS infested mouth, did you know that Salvia KILLS most HIV bacteria that lives in your mouth? YES Salvia is a wonderfull thing, and we all have it  :) but please understand, that the jury is STILL OUT on any of this, and it all depends on just who you talk to about it, most Dentist as well as some Doctors.....might tell you something TOTALLY DIFFERENT
but I wouldn't worry too much about it, if I were you  ;D  Good Oral Hygiene is VERY Important for us HIV'ers, and it's half the battle  :)


Thank you!

I'm aware of the oral risks. I was just trying to be funny.
My partner is positive and its a non issue for me.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on June 07, 2008, 12:37:57 pm
quote
she finally just took matters in her own hands  and pulled the rest of her teeth herself just so she could get dentures.
..................................................................
Now that must have been fun. (NOT)  How did she do it?  And how many did she have to pull ?  Were they real loose?
MY Mom refused to get dentures.....I honestly think she did not want to spend the money ...since she was already 93 and probably would be dead soon. She died at 97 and still had a few teeth.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on June 07, 2008, 12:39:24 pm
Thank you!

I'm aware of the oral risks. I was just trying to be funny.
My partner is positive and its a non issue for me.

 ;D Good for you!
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on June 07, 2008, 12:41:17 pm
Jeez LOL I was so absorbed in the oral sex I missed that Gmom pulled her own teeth out.

Oh criminy !
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 07, 2008, 03:13:29 pm
My Gmom was quite a character. She was from Finland and they have some pretty strange customs over there, but she was most affected by WWI, and learned how to become very frugal and did not like spending money on things she could do herself.

I believe she had the front 2, top and bottom, and then maybe about 2-3 on each side. Used a pair of pliers and It was a process, she did not just stand there and go pull, pull, pull.   But her teeth were probably ready to come out as every time she went to the dentist, he seemed to pull a tooth. She believed he only wanted money and so was dragging it out.

denb, thanks but I have been to support groups before and no I am not looking for love. I have been alone far too long and would probably drive any one who showed any interest in me to the loony bin. This time around with the Aids Outreach Center has been so different than it was in 1993, that I thought that I would go and see if it was the same.

I am fixing my self up for my own self esteem. I used to be a singer in The Fort Worth Men's Chorus and know where to go to find a 'nice man' if I decide to go down that road. However, I am always looking for a friend.

Now, Joel, I am still waiting to hear about a ceramic tooth necklace.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on June 07, 2008, 09:08:23 pm
My Gmom was quite a character. She was from Finland and they have some pretty strange customs over there, but she was most affected by WWI, and learned how to become very frugal and did not like spending money on things she could do herself.

I believe she had the front 2, top and bottom, and then maybe about 2-3 on each side. Used a pair of pliers and It was a process, she did not just stand there and go pull, pull, pull.   But her teeth were probably ready to come out as every time she went to the dentist, he seemed to pull a tooth. She believed he only wanted money and so was dragging it out.

denb, thanks but I have been to support groups before and no I am not looking for love. I have been alone far too long and would probably drive any one who showed any interest in me to the loony bin. This time around with the Aids Outreach Center has been so different than it was in 1993, that I thought that I would go and see if it was the same.

I am fixing my self up for my own self esteem. I used to be a singer in The Fort Worth Men's Chorus and know where to go to find a 'nice man' if I decide to go down that road. However, I am always looking for a friend.

Now, Joel, I am still waiting to hear about a ceramic tooth necklace.
...........LOL! don't worry Ronnie you have Kattie to do that for you (drive you to the loony bin).......I commend you on just dealing with that all the time, but hey she's your family, at least you stepped up to the plate to take care of her  ;) and in my book that's says a lot about who you are as a person  :)

Yeah....Support Groups are NOTHING like they used to be, and it's a real shame too, everything isn't always about the (so Called, hook-up) some people are just very lonely..........but, I choose NOT to deal with any of the DRAMA QUEENS & JEALOUSY.............come to mention it, I Haven't been to a Gay Bar in well over 15yrs. but, I don't drink anymore (stopped that 10 yrs ago when I went on disability)............what I'm trying to say is....most people ( the Youngs ones Gays & the younger HIV'ers) nowadays just don't have any manners and they just don't have good people skills, I suppose being RUDE is the norm now....................anyway........there are a lotta other places you can go to meet NICE people ( I'm sure some of us well mannered folks) are still around  :)...........I really don't don't understand the young ones anymore...guess that's what happens when you get old  ???
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 08, 2008, 12:51:43 am
The last time I went to a Support Group in 1993, they were a real horny bunch of fellas and ,yeah, thats all they talked about, sex, sex, sex....and being , new, and still reeling from the diagnosis, I got caught up and actually wound up moving in with someone who proclaimed his undying love for me.

His lover had just died, and the condo was full of this persons pictures and things everywhere and I always felt like an intruder, and the feeling that I would never be good enough to replace what had been lost.  I had to write my feelings down and have a psychiactric nurse (who was also a minister at a 'Holy Roller' Gay Church) read it to him.

 There was also a problem with my dog, Darcell, as he was jealous of the attention I gave her and I would come home to find her under the table and wouldn't come out to greet me. Suspecting he was abusing her had my bags packed and moving out the next day.

My last week to go to the Support Group was a night they termed show and tell. At that time, I had moved a seriously ill drag queen, he was already exhibiting signs of dementia, of which I knew nothing about and and was almost sucked into it with him. Chuck, whom I brought into my home thinking, as most newbie Care Takers do, that I could fix him and bring him back to health.

After he died, I had to dispose of his personal items that he had made me promise not to let his parents see. He was an accomplished seamstress, having made all of his own clothes/dresses, using beadwork and they were very lovely gowns.

He was also a Leatherman, and was Mr Leather??person at one time and had all of this leather and a bag FULL of dildos of every size, from a small finger to my leg :o  and he was not very tall.

Not knowing what to do with the things, I brought them to Show and Tell, where they all found loving homes. :D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 08, 2008, 01:22:00 am
I guess, the trauma of being awake and experiencing my tooth extraction has caught up to me. I was awake a 6am as I had to wake up Katie as she had a 7am pickup to go to Luck Optical to get her new glasses. I took my 6am meds.

 I remember sitting in front of the computer for awhile and then getting up going to the store. This is Friday, Grocery day. I got home @11am and laid down to elevate my leg as it was feeling real tight and was real shiny. Both of my legs felt like they just wanted to drop off my body. And I almost wished they would.

Then I was waking up and it was 930pm. I started to chide Katie for letting me sleep past my med time, when I notice that her chair was laid back and her arms were outstretched and she was snoring like a sailor. Apparently, she was at Luck Optical for 5 hours, waiting for her glasses, and then MITS does not just bring you straight home, they have other clients, so she had passed out too.

So, I took my 6pm meds at 930pm and as it was late, I ran to Whataburger, as I did not feel like cooking.

I am still not feeling any pain from the surgery, just a dull ache, and definitely mustn't forget not to chew on the left side! There must have been a really bad infection going on as my neck hurts down into my shoulder and there is some swelling under my jaw line. I get to see Dr Debbie on Monday. I guess I need to make a new list.

This extra dose of Gabapentin. Sometimes the toes on the left foot feel normal, but the right toes are still the same...numb. But, It's only been 2, 3 ? days....I wish I could see that velvet hammer coming before it knocks me out. I am constantly jerking awake on the way to the floor from the chair. (maybe I can find a chair with a seatbelt)

Only three more days of this antibiotic. I'm scared to stop it. I think that I have grown to like this poopy. What's the big deal of having a solid turd?

Walking any distance,  it's now mostly my upper thighs that just aaaache....
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Ann on June 08, 2008, 05:17:53 am
What's the big deal of having a solid turd?

I say that to myself all the time. ;) ;D

Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on June 08, 2008, 11:12:26 am
What's the big deal of having a solid turd?

I say that to myself all the time. ;) ;D



Ronnie.....LOL I'm sure you did find loving homes for most of them Items, I bet it was like being at a WHITE SALE at JC Penneys or the Blue-light-sale at K-mart  ;D..........now that would have been something to see  :D all them Queens snacthin & grappin whatever they could get.............LOL  ;D..and I bet some of them just made a beeline for them dildos.........ROFLOL  ;D

   ;D I can relate to that as well, as I haven't had a solid turd in well over 15 years, but that's the PRICE we all pay for all of the HIV MEDS we have to take, just to stay alive  ??? it's keeps me nice and slim.....so, I guess there's is a good side to all of this  :-\
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 08, 2008, 02:00:03 pm
Some said that it was the best meeting they had ever had. I did not bring them all out at once, but one at a time as the meeting went on, feigning innocence with each revelation as to what they could possibly be. :D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on June 08, 2008, 02:29:26 pm
Some said that it was the best meeting they had ever had. I did not bring them all out at once, but one at a time as the meeting went on, feigning innocence with each revelation as to what they could possibly be. :D

I bet...........Ronnie......"No good deed go's Unpunished"  ;D.......if I don't have any use for somethings, I'll just give it away........my Otherhalf told me that I should sell (Old Things) but I NEVER do...........I figure, if someone can use it, then, my work is DONE  :D.............nothing wrong with giving, when you give, it changes you for the better  ;D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 09, 2008, 08:44:20 am
Did you know that 6am, almost looks like 6pm?

Here we go again. My body has made some adjustments.

Sunday afternoon, I went to the toilet with the feeling that I was going to burst open, and it was a feeling that came upon me with a quickness. I sat there and flatulated forever. This is different. Since starting that antibiotic over a month ago, I have done nothing but serious business on the toilet, no farting around. When through, I turned and looked and there was actually a few small snakes down there.  8)

I still have feelings of urgency and the frequency has not changed, but as the day progressed I was either farting or making small snakes.  :-\  Having been 'fooled' before, I squelched thoughts that my diarrhea ordeal might be coming to an end. :)

After 6am meds, I was at the computer and there is a curio cabinet with Katie's Cobalt Blue Glass (Blue) right in front of me. For her birthday, she got a cobalt plate, with candles and shiny beads and she wanted it in the cabinet. I can't argue with anything that will keep dusting, especially thousands of pieces of bric-a-brac, to a minimum.

So, I started to rearrange this stuff to make room for this candle arrangement:

(http://img211.imageshack.us/img211/7758/66464238nh8.gif)

and then, after putting it all back in I had to wipe my fingerprints off everything I had touched:

(http://img185.imageshack.us/img185/6438/85573132wn1.jpg)

and then, after putting it all back in I had to wipe my fingerprints off everything I had touched:

(http://img294.imageshack.us/img294/596/628551017592807zc2.gif)

and then, might as well clean up the area...*note* this does not look like this all the time, especially after the mail run and the pile of Bills Due, and snacks.. Roll Eyes

(http://img80.imageshack.us/img80/2646/39063374uq7.gif)

Dusting is a very exhausting cardio moment and I had to have a lie down. Woke up @ 630 pm to Katie's voice.."ronnie, did you take your meds?" So up and atum atom ant...and grab the deck broom and go sweep the deck. Man, it was 97 outside, so that's all that got done outside today. Showered and dinner was sauteed chicken breast and with rice and beans with sweet onion, fresh strawberries and cheesecake.

Velvet hammer hit me around 11pm and I hit the couch. Awoke at 2am and could not go back asleep. An urgent trip to the toilet was very productive. Long snakes. I want to say that I am cured of diarrhea, but I know the minute I do....doodoo will doodoo....the jury is still out. I'll give it another day.

It appears that as the infection in my jaw lessens, so does my diarrhea. ....weird...

Patiently awaiting...maybe not so patiently...but waiting for 11am for Doc appointment. 5am found me remembering that Sit and Be Fit was on channel 13. So I participated. Got a kitchen chair, a towel, and a squishy ball. I was ready to go through the motions feeling like..."this is Kiddie Korner"....when she had us stand up next to our chairs and stand on our toes.

Neuropathy immediately screamed its displeasure by my ankle burning, itching and my arch tried to cramp. OK, we'll go slowly on that one and let's chalk one up for Miss Mary Ann Wilson Rn, she got me.  :-\

Then we were to bend a leg and with it bent turn it to the outside. Every clotted nerve and vein had shots of electricity running up and down my leg..ok..you got me again...Miss Mary... :-\
Fortunately, for me, we were now allowed to sit back down and roll the ball under our feet...piece of cake....then with the ball under the arch, turn your ankle side to side....NEUROPATHY, ankle screamed, alright ... MARY   >:(
I did it, 30 minutes was over and she was all smiles. Good Job.

I remember the agony of going to physical therapy when my back was hurt in 1991. All the seemingly impossible and painful things they would force me to do. The motto of Pain Management classes...on the very first day, the instructor came in and the first words out of her mouth were "You are in Pain...we know you are in pain....we don't want to hear it"..O.o ...



Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on June 09, 2008, 11:24:41 am
OMG....your a busy boy Ron. What with documenting toilet visits and dusting!!!  I think I need a drink. :-*
Quote you: Man, it was 97 outside, so that's all that gone outside today. Showered and dinner was sauteed chicken breast and with rice and beans with sweet onion, fresh strawberries and cheesecake.

Well, we ordered in last night. Kurt was going to cook because we went out Saturday night to have a BIRTHDAY DINNER with an old friend of ours. Old in every sense of the word....the poor dear is 75 and had a stroke a few years ago.  He is also HIV positive and on meds.  He is ALSO about to go in the hospital to have some little tumors frozen off his kidneys.  So we wanted to really do a nice birthday for him and got together a group of 7 people and went to a nice restaurant.  The bill wasnt too high as far as these things go...what with drinks before dinner and drinks with dinner and a la carte ordering......the total bill was around 360 dollars, split 6 ways was 60 bucks apiece.
So last night Kurt was going to cook but I reminded him it was 99 degrees out.   I had just sold off our two older air conditioners to our neighbors two doors down...a group of recent coillege graduates...really cute kids....for 25 dollars. ( Remember I am trying to clean out the basement.)  Hey 25 dollars is better than putting them out on the curb for trash.  So we were 25 dollars ahead and could afford to order in.  At least that was my reasoning.  ;D
We had Chinese....my favorite lite Chinese food is either chicken and brocolli or beef and brocolli and I choose the beef while Kurt was having a craving for sweet so he had the General Tsaos chicken.
modified to add:  LOVE the blue glass collection.  Kurt says all bottoms like blue glass!  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 10, 2008, 12:36:15 am
LOL...Joel, ..Chinese birthday dinner for a friend..$360.00....a night out with friends...priceless.

At least you've got started on the basement. I haven't even looked at the key to unlock the door.

My Chinese favorite is Pork Fried Rice/Chicken Fried Rice from Ming Wok, or the Asian House. (they even deliver) ;)

Oh, Dr Debbie, Dr, Debbie...what am I to do?  Blood pressure was 139/96. So, I have yet another pill added to my regime: Lisinopril. I was depressed over this as I am 'doing'  and my body is not cooperating. I don't want to be taking all these pills. I want to find the cause and fix it.

Then, my PT/INR was at 1.8 ...supposed to be at 2.0-3.0 .....so my warfarin has been upped to 9mgs from 8 mgs.

And because when it rains it pours....Cookie, Katie's aide called and her bus driving job has become too demanding on her time and she is ..ill...some kind of walking pneumonia...so she has given her notice. This means another round of interviewing and training a new aide, with me doing everything in the interim. This is not too devastating, as I already do much of everything. It's just the personal hygiene that I feel she should have another woman helping her there (actually, anyone , but me) though in the past 12 years, I have seen and done things I doubt even a husband would do. :o

And then there's that potty bucket... :o

So tonight, dinner was chicken breast with rice in an Alfredo sauce. Every now and then my stint as a chef in a gay  Italian restaurant in Dallas, Peppino's, leaks out. I used to cook for 400 people a night and was the typical tyrant. I would get so keyed up that I would send the kitchen help screaming to the back room if a pan I needed was not clean and they were standing there trying not to break a nail.

Robert, the owner, reserved the right to hire the kitchen staff and they were mostly drag queens, and I would get so mad sometimes that I would throw the pan against a wall, bringing Robert from the dining area to see who had upset "Mister Ron" and trying to soothe everyones nerves while I would then go off on a waiter who had just slipped a ticket in for a table that had been waiting for 20 minutes and had already finished their salad and appetizers and wanted Steak Marsalis "WELL DONE"...and I'm like "well, you better comp them a bottle of wine as I don't do  microwaves and well done takes awhile"..

.and then throw another pan at a drag queen who did not want to wash dishes as she was in "full face makeup" as she had a show after getting off work and the steam would ruin her makeup.... >:(






Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on June 10, 2008, 09:46:27 am
Hi
you wrote:          LOL...Joel, ..Chinese birthday dinner for a friend..$360.00....a night out with friends...priceless.
..............................
O the brain fog!!  Well...no we didnt have a Chinese birthday dinner. These were two different events: one being dinner out at a nice restaurant and the other being a quickie "order in" Chinese at home.  The restaurant where we went for the birthday party for our friend serves an "american" menu.  It is also owned by one of the nicest gay men in town.  He has been very active in local LGBT events and fundraisers and has donated lots of money to good causes.  THATS WHY I like to patronize his restaurant.  Mike from Ohio had dinner there when he was in town a few weeks ago.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 10, 2008, 11:04:15 am
I like to patronize Gay Establishments also, and do so on a consistant basis, as long as they give good service. I have been in Gay Businesses where the service just plain...sucked...with teeth..and I will never go back.

The Velvet Hammer hit me @midnight and went to sleep, on the couch, for two hours. Laid back down and awoke again after another two hours. Could not go to back to sleep. 530am found me in front of the TV with a kitchen chair, towel and a small ball.

Mary Ann Wilson RN greeted me holding a larger red ball than yesterday. ??? As they went to commercial, I feverishly ransacked the house looking for a blue ball that Katie's grandkids play with and could not find it. Even looked in the garage real quick. No telling where it will turn up, after time is up for ME to need it. :(

I improvised with the top of the foot stool that has a round lid that comes off,  exposing a storage area. It worked for everything but when she started to roll it around her body. ..sigh..

Then, instead of a towel, she had what she called an exercise band. It looked like a rubber towel/sash. So, I improvised with my towel. I was just thinking that I was wasting my time, when, suddenly, I noticed that I had broke a sweat. Mary Ann had got me again. I wonder how much more it would have been if I had had the proper equipment?

One of the reasons I liked Margaret Richards /Body Electric was that she gave a list of things you would need before the show began. But, Margaret,  dear,  is too advanced for me. It's really kind of embarrassing to only do two reps instead of 20, to be sitting instead of moving and swinging. sigh...one day...

The buzzer on the dryer has just gone off. I have already done two loads of laundry, and rolled the trash bins to the curb. They keep promising rain, but so far...Nada....When Katie gets up will probably have to strip her bed.

Need to call Lenscrafters to see if my glasses are in. Call the dentist to schedule an appointment for cleaning, now that the offending tooth is gone.
Almost ready for a haircut as I took the scissors out last night and trimmed the hair that was tickling my ear. They know me well enough now as they will comment "I see you got started on the cut without me"....which is my red flag that I need a haircut when I take the scissors to it.

My bum leg is already swollen and tight, and I haven't been anywhere, just doing house chores. And that opens a tucked away for later bit of info that Dr Debbie threw at me. She suggested that I might think about seeing a cardiovascular specialist at JPS since I was classified on Ryan White now...that's another TODO...

Is there a test for asthma? Another tucked away bit floats out that she is concerned about me always being out of breath. She asked if I had ever had asthma. I wouldn't know asthma if it sat on my lap and said "Hello"....I keep attributing shortness of breath to Bi Lateral Pulmonary Emboli...and they know I have multiple diagnosis'...so why bring up this asthma thing?...another TODO...

and I thought that not working...meant..not working...sigh....

Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 11, 2008, 12:19:00 am
So, with my new goals determined, I start making phone calls. I call LensCrafters, and my caseworker, Paula at PMC.

It turned out that LensCrafters had my glasses in and they were ready for pickup. Katie was getting up and Caller ID shows a strange name and number which she goes ahead and answers. It was a girl named Charlotte who is going to take Cookie's place and she was wanting to know when she could start. O_O ...this was different.

I'm mumbling in the background to Katie as she is trying to talk on the phone (irritating, isn't it?) I'm saying that she needs to have a background check first and no she can't just come over without going through the proper channels. Katie pauses the conversation to inform me that she has already done so.

I leave to go pick up my glasses and to go to pick up a few things at the store. While at WalMart, I see one of those blood pressure machines, just sitting there waiting for someone to put their arm in it and push the button. So, I sit and shove my arm in this cuff, which is quite a tight fit, and push start. The readout says 115/36...0.o. ...Either the doctors machine is broken, or this machine is broken, or I am now over medicated on blood pressure meds. :-\

Get home and Charlotte has parked right in the middle of the driveway, >.< So I have to park in the street. Meet Charlotte and Katie has been showing her the routine.

Phone rings and it is JPS Financial Aid returning my call from the other day. After a lengthy discussion, and even more discussion, I lose. At the time I was classified last year, I had too much money and assetts, (more to the point, my IRA,, and my saving account) and this bill could not be revoked..."couldn't you just make a monthly payment?".....to which I reply "I haven' worked since last July, that "savings account" you are looking at is almost at zero. I am already thinking of "liquifying" my IRA, and then I will looking for housing on the streets....

I am still waiting on a decision from SSDI, and until that time, NO, I can't make payments on a bill, that she admitted I would not have if I had appealed in October as they had changed the requirements and I would have qualified then. >.< ..I had just been released from the hospital in August, and was still not in a proper mental state of mind,  barely functioning to meet the basics of living and NO...I can't make any payments on a bill that I wouldn't have because my "timing" is off? ((>.<))

So I just flatly state, great, so now I can continue to ignore any call I don't recognize on Caller ID  She did tell me *cough,cough* out the side of her mouth and I did not hear it from her that if a creditor called, I could state "do not call me anymore" and by law, they could not call me anymore. Of course, that is going to help my credit rating and not to mention that there is always snail mail with those "this is an attempt to collect a debt" letters. Before I said anything that would burn any potential bridges, I had to end the call.

I called the dentist to schedule a cleaning and got a recording, again. Left another message.

Received a notice in the mail that I have a follow up on my Oral Surgery on July 8th.

Paula called and advised me on how to get to a consult with a Cardiovascular Specialist to address this heaviness in my legs, varicose veins forming in my "good" leg, sharp shooting pain in my knee cap, again on my "good" leg and my shortness of breath. *Good leg is defined as the leg that did not have the DVT.* 

I have to start paying attention and putting things together better. I have services available to me that I am not using because I am ignorant, or just not paying attention, or have lost the ability to recognize. I have got to ensure that my "timing" is not off any more. ..and then..maybe I am already running like the White Rabbit...."I'm late, I'm late." and then I'm Alice.."but, what am I late for?"....

This reality fell out of the sky and landed on the table right in front of me:  Now that I am classified at JPS, that Dr Gavini I saw to get the referral to my Oral surgery, is now "my doctor" to get other services at JPS. So, tomorrow, I will call her and see what she can do about getting me a referral to a cardiovascular specialist as this is going to look good on my medical record for SSDI.  ;) (the more medical procedures on my record, the better my case)

Reality: I have been avoiding doctors and procedures as I am afraid of being admitted to the hospital. I HATE being in the hospital. Not being in control of anything there or at home or anywhere. Also afraid that I might not ever leave the hospital. weird

Gotta get a grip. call about this cardiovascular business. It should at least  help alleve some of my fears related to blood clots. I have heard from several people that a sharp pain behind the kneecap is a sign of a blood clot in the works. My right foot is having cold spasm all over and my ankle is hurting. Something is not right with my foot. But, "you're on warfarin"...yeah, but, "it has to be in therapeutic range to work, and mine apparently is not in therapeutic range being at 1.8, which means that a clot could be forming".....I just don't want another hospital stay...being an outpatient is for me....

I don't have to worry about the yard as it's so hot nothing is growing. Not even that grass seed I put out last month  >:( 

Katie pulls out this strange looking package,  and it's an exercise band! She's been holding out on me. Aren't I lucky that I have Mary Ann Wilson RN at 530am showing me how to Sit and be Fit?

Handed Katie JW's Fathers Day card so we can get it in the mail, It has a cowboy boot on it and when you open it plays 'boot scootin boogie'....Then I'm hollering at Katie who's getting ready for bed...."this is a Fathers Day card....you put Happy Birthday"..so I tell her to add, "on being a father" so it says" happy birthday on being a father"and then I think, maybe you should have just put a line through it and rewrote it....eh...he'll just know it's from us and listen to the music.  ::)

Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 12, 2008, 12:18:32 am
530am and I'm in my kitchen chair in front of the TV. I have my small orange ball, (still haven't found the bigger blue ball), towel and the exercise band. Good thing too, as this was the day for upper body workout using the 'band'.

At 10 am Called Dr G to make an appointment to discuss my legs and "when can you be here?.."huh?"...when can you get here?"...you mean today?....and what's available?"..."how about 11am?"..."one hour?"...this is the quickest appointment I have ever made, and now, I have to make myself halfway presentable to the world...

Wake up Katie and am running out the door, and then back in to the toilet. ::)  Sign in and am waiting to see Dr G which is seeming to take a long time as suddenly the Velvet Hammer hits and I want to go to sleep. Have my blood pressure taken 136/86. After remarking that it is better than last time, I remark that it should be after two Atenolol and the added Lisinopril.

I told her about the heaviness in my legs and the feeling of ants biting on my foot and ankle, and the numbness in my toes and my inner left thigh/groin area and I get some 'new info' as she relates that the inner thigh numbness could be part of the neuroapthy...

After much discussion, she decided to start with my knee pain and my shortness of breath. I had an XRAY done there, which she will have the results on in two days, and she will make a referral to JPS for an echocardiogram and a  pulmonary function test. By now, my foot feels like ants are biting it, and I had to have help getting off the XRAY table...

I cannot lie flat on my back. It immediately awakens great pain in my lower back and down my legs. And then getting up,  I have to roll over to my right side and do a sort of push up and roll forward and the pain in my back "on a scale of 1-10, went to 100 plus some vocalization...."

I got home and went right to sleep and woke up at 6m only because Katie woke me up to remind me to go take my meds. My sinuses were burning and I thought I was getting sick there for a moment. but they finally stopped burning. I felt so bad, I skipped my shave and shower, which usually only makes me feel worse, but ....

Dinner was chicken breast, ranch style beans with rice and jalapenos, and then strawberry yogurt...

Then Katie states that Dr Debbie called to confirm my appointment for tomorrow...??...and I'm like, no, it's on Friday, and she says, no, so, I will have to call in the morning to see whats up....of course, I expect to be right as I remember remarking that it would be on Friday the 13th.... 8)

Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 13, 2008, 12:58:50 am
I finally received a call from the Dental Clinic. There should be an opening on July 1st. I called in refills for my Warfarin.

I have Labs tomorrow. (Friday the 13th.)

I am going to have to insist on seeing Dr Debbie. In anticipation of an upcoming echocardiogram I was shaving my body hair down. Having previously been surrounded by grinning nurses with razors and remarks of  "my, you're a hairy one", and shaving bald spots allover that did nothing to prevent the surrounding hair to stick like glue and pull hair out with their removal, I was determined to be proactive and prevent from having this unnecessary pain inflicted upon me again.

I was looking in the mirror and giving myself more than the casual glance in the mirror, when I saw something. It looked like a bruise, but I have done nothing that would leave a bruise. 

This is the area that is part of the numbness I have been experiencing in my left inner thigh and groin area. I calmly had Katie take these pictures and then went to my bedroom and cried. I don't know why. ok, I do know why. The first thing that filled my mind was.."I have KS" ..However, I have never seen KS so don't know for sure. I'm trying to think of how I could have possibly bruised myself otherwise.

(http://img179.imageshack.us/img179/465/63497928503597pe8.jpg)


To say that I am scared shitless, would be an understatement.... this is going to be a long night.

(http://img411.imageshack.us/img411/9959/634985728988413cj7.gif)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Jeff G on June 13, 2008, 07:57:11 am
Hey Ron
I'm not a doctor , but I have had KS and that doesn't look like KS to me . 
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: edfu on June 13, 2008, 08:43:45 am
I'm not a doctor either, but I, too, have had KS, and that doesn't look like KS to me.  Check out my post "Is It KS (or Something Else)?," several posts down from yours on the Long-Term Survivors site. 
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 13, 2008, 09:44:35 am
Jeff, edfu,
Thanks. I am probably being a silly old queen. I actually fell asleep last night. My appointment is in one hour.

Thank you for reminding me of the links. Maybe, I am just going through the 'aging process'. I definitely meet the criteria.  ;)

ronnie
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Dachshund on June 13, 2008, 09:51:07 am
First of all we should never, ever, diagnose over the internet. Have your doctor take a look. Secondly and respectfully, you really need to be careful about posting pics on this site. There are thousands of folks looking for excuses to obsess about every pimple and hangnail. Folks will take your pic and run with it to self diagnose the worst case scenario.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on June 13, 2008, 09:55:12 am
Hi Ron
Well, I've never had KS but I have experienced strange and unusual healing.  As I have gotten older, I have noticed healing that would have been done and overwith in a matter of months to take years and there is still serious discoloration where the wound was.  
Now as for you....since you are on blood thinners, I can tell you that this  thing is probably more likely a bruise...and because of the blood thinners...is redder than normal.  BUT THATS NOT A DIAGNOSIS JUST A GUESS.
Kurt is on blood thinners too and I can tell you that when he gets aven the smallest cut it takes forever to clot.  The last time he got a little cut on a finger, he bled all night and soiled the sheets and that was WITH a bandage on.
I know you will be fine, hun.  Relax.
Joel
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Miss Philicia on June 13, 2008, 10:25:39 am
That looks like a scar from someone's high heels, queen.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 13, 2008, 02:01:17 pm
And the winner is...Joel.

Doctor has determined that it is bruising from the blood thinners. I am now on 9mgs daily and am supposed to treat myself like a China Doll.....(without high heels....just in case :D)

So, now, I need to rethink this green vegetable thing that Dr Adams gave me permission to eat and he would adjust the coumadin level. Well, I have now had my coumadin adjusted upwards twice and now have bruising.  F*** the green vegetables, I saaaayy.

I also am having doubts as he is a nice man, but  I was advised that on the 26th, I would be his last patient as he is retiring. I could look at this two ways:

1) be very scared of anything he says because ...."he's outta here" and I don't know if he's voluntary or forced retirement and how does he feel about it.

2)  be alert  of getting every dream RX on my wish list as ...he's retiring and ..."he's outta here"..and he doesn't care..

Either way, When I go get my echo and pulmonary test, when they ask, "how are you feeling today?", I will point to my bruise and say 'ouch' and get a second opinion.

Today is Friday the 13th, grocery day. Mary Ann Wilson RN of Sit and be Fit must know her stuff as I was able to go aisle five before my back started hurting instead of my usual pain alert at aisle three.

Got the groceries put away and am now ignoring the paper shredder, as Charlotte was shredding Katie's junk mail and clogged it up. Cookie used to do the same thing..and I'm singing.."it only has a 12 paper capacity, then let it cool, no you can't shove all those credit card checks in there at one time, especially folded up like that...immediate jamb......

now where is that trusty 'special' tool that I have to dig that paper out without having to take this thing apart?  :-\




Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 14, 2008, 12:38:57 am
Oh the majesty of nature. Just look at those three magnificent pine trees in my neighbors yard. they are so Tall, and lovely to look at.

(http://img162.imageshack.us/img162/2414/636563830585819jm2.jpg)

and yet, they are over there, and I am over here...yet, twice a year, I get to share in the joy of a special time enjoyed by all who allow these majestic beauties to grow: if you notice, their yard is...white, and the driveway is white and my driveway and front curb are white, and the bed of my truck is full as we celebrate in the SHEDDING of every single needle on those bad boys:

(http://img403.imageshack.us/img403/4259/636569533886746vj2.gif)

and, my joy as I ..shhhwoop, shhwoop, shhwoop, from the side of the garage, to the front of the garage, and up the fence line along the drive way and out on the street , and along the the front curb: hmmm, when they put on the new roof, they took down the rain gutters. I need to find a way to clean those bottom bricks on each side of the garage door...the water hose alone ain't getting the job done....and probably think of some new rain gutters. only really need a small one , right over the garage door...

(http://img214.imageshack.us/img214/9694/636578787160978ez6.gif)

and I do this ritual of sweeping at least once a week, some times twice a week, making these cute little piles of needles:

(http://img211.imageshack.us/img211/8651/636586951435424ob4.gif)

that I then sshhhwwooop into the grass and spread around and then mulch when I mow. Thank goodness, I am not at a loss for these opportunities for 'cardio' . See, my shirt is dripping wet, from sweat, as am I....

(http://img204.imageshack.us/img204/842/636588894973329vw3.gif)

So, I awoke at 530pm and after taking my meds and putting on my trusty hiking boots, took the 18" hedge clippers to the hedges and vines on the fence in the front and back yard. Especially, those new hedges, I have discovered in the back yard.

Then I swept up my daily allotment of pine needles. This is the first "shedding" of the year. It started two weeks ago and will last until it's over. When it's really coming down, neighbors roof and yard are completely covered. This is mainly because they are disabled and don't sweep or rake. Usually the neighbors across the street and I get involved when we can't stand looking at it any more.  >:(

 Across the street gets more involved as this woman is a nosey b***h  and being a loud mouth broadcasting the whole process of her 'good samaritan'  deeds, letting all in earshot know that she is a 'good' person.  ::)



Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 14, 2008, 12:36:36 pm
Well, Mary Ann Wilson Rn takes her weekends OFF.  How rude. Fortunately, I have been taping the shows and was able to rewind to the previous episode. Tell you what. My  feet and hips were complaining like nobody's business.  I thought that I was going to have to skip it, but BRAVELY, pushed PLAY. Once started, you gotta finish.

I like that exercise band. I can feel my muscles working and I'm not on the floor. So far, 99% of the exercises have been in the chair, except she does have some stretches to the hamstring that require you to stand up.

Katie has already been talking to her new Aide, Charlotte, who is doing a good job. She is a younger version of Katie, both being overweight , and she has three children, single parent, black, and they are getting along.

Katie stated yesterday that she had been cleaned in places that haven't been cleaned in years. Charlotte is really taking her work seriously and Katie likes to ...chat...and keeps asking her questions about her life, and she get shy and states that this experience of her being here  "should be all about you"....Katie is bringing her out of it with her people skills,

I heard them discussing Sit and be Fit yesterday. Katie mentioned that 'her brother' wanted her to start exercising everyday. Charlotte is scheduled for 3 hours a day and now that she has got caught up they are discussing taking 30 minutes and Charlotte will help Katie do the exercises. 0.0 ...wonderful....

Yesterday, I went around the front and back with the  18" hedge clippers and cut all the hedges and vines. Then I swept up pine needles from the neighbors GIANT pine trees which when they 'molt' twice a year,  I get fallout also...

Today, I intend to mow the front and back which shouldn't be too hard as it's been so hot that nothing is really growing except weeds and vines.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on June 14, 2008, 03:13:47 pm
 I am not at a loss for these opportunities for 'cardio' . See, my shirt is dripping wet, from sweat, as am I....

(http://img204.imageshack.us/img204/842/636588894973329vw3.gif)





Hey Ronnie................GRRRRRRRRRRRR  ;) you look like one of them Dallas Cowboy Football Players ;D Hey ,and OH, nice legs you got there  :-* If I ran into you with that Football FRAME of yours in a Texas Dark-Alley, You'd scare the be-jesus outa me  ;D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on June 14, 2008, 11:06:40 pm
I just wanted to tell you I'm still enjoying reading your thread. Its kind of like a blog.
The pictures are a nice touch. Reading your thread is kinda like getting to know you.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 15, 2008, 10:06:29 am
denb,
with talk like that, you could turn a fellas head.  :D

Never been called a football player before, usually "hey,  Big Guy" or ,"hello, tall, dark,.. etc.  ::)

Thank you Wendy,
I am extremely, *new car smell* new to all of this. It is my hope that somewhere in all of this ranting that I might accidentally help someone as we go along in this 'living with HIV" and have done it now for a long, long, time, and I'm still alive and functioning...

It's so weird, but I am not so worried about dying anymore, I'm more worried right now about living too long and running out of money.. :D

Or course, that could change tomorrow, as I have discovered that every day has some new way to challenge me....nothing remains the same, no matter how much I balk and whine and cry and carry on, so, I might as well get up, get ready,  and face it, as I hate being blindsided.  :-\

Today is Fathers Day, and while it appears that I am going to live a lot longer than I had been led to believe, my  father was killed in a car accident when I was four. This has been a very early lesson to me that "life happens" and there are no guarantees.

So, I live, day by day, and find that there is always something to do,... if I just get off that couch and do it.  :D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on June 15, 2008, 10:36:49 am


LOL  ;D...............Yeah, I can relate to that VERY WELL, as I get that alot (hey,  Big Guy" or ,"hello, tall, dark,.. etc.  ::)

at 6'3 and 190LBS wearing a size 13D.....it's about the same for me ronnie, but the funny thing is? I have never really went for
a Man that was as tall as me, always prefered shorter stocky Men (Bob my otherhalf of 15 yrs. fits that build very well............

I stopped thinking about diying from AIDS way back in 1998 when I went on disability, and it was THEN when I realized, that
"I cannot run up LARGE credit card debt anymore, due to the fact that my imcome had changed for the worst, but after almost
10 yrs. I'm now in a very good place, and, "I've got some peace of mind" don't worry Ronnie, things will come into play, and you will be just fine  :)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 15, 2008, 10:38:58 am
My Grandfather, whom I called Daddy as we went to live with my Mom's parents after my father died, served on the Battleship of Texas.

He was a quiet man, never raised his voice, always talked in a low rumble, but you heard every word. One of his stories was that he was born in a covered wagon crossing the Oklahoma /Texas border and was brought up by the Apache Indians. He was always talking about his Indian brothers and sisters, but we never found out if he meant 'blood brother' or if he was really part Apache.

 He was always working, being the father of 5 children kept him busy. He smoked a pipe, which I remember the Prince Albert Tins that he never threw away as he would use them to 'fix' things around the house., and give to us kids to play with...

if you were talented enough you blew air through it and it sounded like a bazooka, and you could put things in them, like marbles and other treasures, little rocks and things that you would find.

 He was a carpenter, electrician, plumber, I don't think there wasn't anything he couldn't do. He would even make his own teeth, which if he lost a tooth, he would have this wire and would work on it until he had created his own set of dentures. I think he worked in the kitchen on the battleship. As children,  we would sit listening to the adults talk and one time it was told that working in the kitchen he ate so much that he gained so much weight that he couldn't even stand up. Being a muscular man and always working , this was hard for me to imagine.

 He always wore tan dickies, pants and button down shirt, and I don't remember ever seeing him in anything else. He started out owning a cotton farm , then bought a Trailer Park in Waco. Every Holiday the entire family would come and yes, the land was like a used car lot with all the trucks cars, and RV's. with children running everywhere and food, food, food, ...go lie down holding your stomach and moaning only to hear 'anyone for dessert?"....and dang if you didn't get up and stuff some more in.

Once we went to where the Battleship of Texas was 'moored' and this was before they started closing off parts of the ship to tourists and he took me below to show me where he slept. There was row after row of beds on the walls,  held up by chain links, and I had to ask how did he know which one was his?.He just said.."you just know".....

He died at the age of 97....

(http://img144.imageshack.us/img144/1149/605123456790927wb5.gif)


(http://img221.imageshack.us/img221/4818/605124381474107la0.gif)


HAH...I've been 'edited' by Mom. I sent her a copy of my tribute to Daddy, and she remarked on the posting and thought it was sweet and then she quietly interjects "you got a few things wrong". "NATCH"  I said..'tell me"...

.Daddy died at 98 not 97.

The wagon made it over the border in 1899 so he was born in Oklahoma. He served in WWI. He joined when he was 16 but lied about his age, as did others. (Apparently, they did not check on these things like they so nowadays.)

 After the war he was looking for work and that's how he made it to Michigan. by 'hopping' a train with a buddy of his as they heard that there were jobs in Michigan. (He did not pay, but bummed a ride') He and his buddy were beaten and ejected from the train by the train guards (bullers?) as it was not considered good manners to ride without paying.

I stand corrected. She also has written his story, which I have requested a copy of and she made a tape of him telling of his recollections growing up...which I have also stated that I want.  thanks Mom.  :D



Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Jeff G on June 15, 2008, 11:33:19 am
That's a great fathers day story ... My dad knowing that I'm broke all time overpaid me to do some yard work for him this week . I took the money and bought my stepdad dinner at a nice restaurant , my best memories of who has been there for me are of my stepdad .
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on June 15, 2008, 11:46:57 am
That's a great fathers day story ... My dad knowing that I'm broke all time overpaid me to do some yard work for him this week . I took the money and bought my stepdad dinner at a nice restaurant , my best memories of who has been there for me are of my stepdad .

You are LUCKY, to still have your DAD...........my Dad past away 20 yrs. ago (1988) he was 75 and I was 32............here's some advice, if you can, try and make up this riff between you and your Dad, Life is short, and time waits for NOBODY.........at the end of the day, he's still your REAL Dad  ;) I wish I still had my Dad, just to talk to  :'(
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 15, 2008, 12:39:56 pm
That's a great fathers day story ... My dad knowing that I'm broke all time overpaid me to do some yard work for him this week . I took the money and bought my stepdad dinner at a nice restaurant , my best memories of who has been there for me are of my stepdad .

Life is strange. I always considered my GFather as my Daddy. My mother remarried twice. My first stepfather was a violent, sex addicted, alcoholic. What made it even worse, was that he was the 'type' who did not remember a thing the next morning. He would raise Holy Hell during the night and then wake up in the morning all "doe-eyed"...saying ..."what?"

My second step father wouldn't have anything to do with me. He didn't know what to think of a Homosexual being in his home. But Mom would stand up for me and I was 'allowed ' into the house on Holidays..Thanksgiving and Christmas. Then after my diagnosis of HIV, there was a period of ..FEAR, I would get "air hugs" and such. Then Katie needed help...and my nephews...

and eventually everyone started saying "ya know, you're ok, for a diseased Homosexual, I don't care what anybody else says...

and now, I am completely accepted for who I am. There are no references to gay, HIV, unless it is  appropriate. I am accepted as just 'ronnie' who has problems as like everyone else ...

JW, my second step-father, now calls me "Buddy", and will actually talk to me. A complete turnaround I would have never expected 15 years ago. I have told him that I am grateful that he married my Mom as he...

*makes her laugh...he's a character...the first night we met him, was at a restaurant. He was cutting up and I was thinking, "my god, Mom, what are you thinking?"  He got tired of waiting for something to eat as the service was slow and there was a basket of biscuits on the table next to us. He reached over and snagged one, giving them a big wink and stating that a man could starve in this place...they laughed....

*turned her into a cowgirl..I swear I did not recognize her one year in jeans, boots, and riding a horse, that was hers....my childhood memories of my mother have been of perfect hair, dresses/skirts, high heels,(which I was not allowed to play with  ::) makeup all over the place (which, I was not allowed to play with)

*he's been good to her and has showed her a side of life that 'conservative, city girl, career woman"  Mom would never have experienced otherwise. they have traveled....experienced life....and had fun...I got a call from her one time and it was over some mundane life thing. I stated that I would come right over and help and she laughed, stating that would be great, but that they were in Las Vegas....or Oklahoma..or Michigan...dang Mom, are you ever coming home?....
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Jeff G on June 15, 2008, 05:09:06 pm
You are so right on it , life is strange indeed sometime .
 I love my dad , but my step dad is the one that's always listened to me when I needed to be heard . He has been a good husband to my mom and one of my best friends .

I'm in a good place with my father , we have reconnected and are getting to know each other again . I'm a lucky guy that I get to have two dads . My love and respect for my step dad takes nothing away from my father . 
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on June 15, 2008, 06:52:43 pm
You are so right on it , life is strange indeed sometime .
 I love my dad , but my step dad is the one that's always listened to me when I needed to be heard . He has been a good husband to my mom and one of my best friends .

I'm in a good place with my father , we have reconnected and are getting to know each other again . I'm a lucky guy that I get to have two dads . My love and respect for my step dad takes nothing away from my father . 


 ;D Well now I'm glad you feel that way  ;D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 15, 2008, 11:08:27 pm
I attacked this 8ft. bush in the corner of the backyard today.


(http://img120.imageshack.us/img120/6734/639518910188834ta6.gif)

Then I grabbed this wire cable that is supposed to be the top of the fence that is down in the ground, and it only came up like 2 feet from the ground. I have to work on this some more. But, I dug around in the dirt and didn't find anymore fence. Who would put up a two foot fence? I am obviously missing something.

Then, cooking dinner, I needed the front burner that I had already been using and put a hot pan on the top of a stack of pot holders. I heard a 'funny noise but was in the process of cooking and ignored it. then I put the pan back on the burner and flames completely surrounded the pan.

I just stared at it for a second, thinking oil or grease had spilled, but not that much. Then I remember the strange hissing noise I had heard, quickly surmised that there were only three pot holders instead of four, picked up the flaming pan and looked on the bottom.

There was a blackened square, that fell onto the burner in a charcoaled heap. It was getting smaller as it burned, so I just waited for it to extinguish itself. I am not a pyromaniac or anything like that, but when I was a child, living in Portales, New Mexico, we were allowed to burn our trash in an alleyway. I would take cereal boxes and cartons and make it look like a city and then watch it burn.  8)

So, I wasn't worried about setting the house on fire and after the fire went out, I realized that there was smoke coming from under the oven...dang it....I had forgot about the bread..... >:(

I guess I should be banned from the kitchen and forbidden to cook anymore. We can eat fast food till the end of our days.  ::)

Then we called JW and wished him a Happy Fathers Day.


Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 16, 2008, 09:47:09 am
530am and I was still getting ready for Sit and be Fit. For some reason, I have developed a BAD case of the dropsies. ..I'll have a nice morsel headed for my mouth, and ..oo00ps..it ends up on the floor. I fished out a large, beautiful, whole cashew from the mixed nuts ...and haven't found it yet. I heard it hit the plastic floor cover under the chair, and I have looked everywhere, to no avail.

I did not exercise on Sunday as you're supposed to rest your muscles also. Well, today we were in the chair for 50% of the time. Mary Ann Wilson RN stood up and had us working our hamstrings and butts.  I thought I was going to die. Although there was one of those screen in screens showing an alternative to standing while sitting, I determined to stand.

My letter for the past week has been N for neuropathy. My groin area has really been bothering me. Feels like there is a tennis ball being squished when I sit or bend, but Doctor swears that I do not have a hernia and that it is neuropathy.

I'll be sitting at the computer and the bottom of feet feel like I'm standing of an ice cube. I try to ignore it, knowing that there is not an ice cube on the living room floor, but eventually I always look as it is so convincing that there is an ice cube under my foot.

Or it feels like the skin is folding on itself and I'm standing on the fold. ..weird

I usually wear sandal these days, but when I put on my boots, I've discovered that I can pull them off every minute and not find the rock or stick that I swear I feel is in there when I'm walking.

Then my toe nails feel like they want to pop off. My foot keeps cramping. My heel heels like it's bruised.

And then back to this groin area...

My gabapentin has been increased, but I don't know about it. I have been whining and complaining about this for months now and I'm
 probably just being a titty baby.

There is probably nothing they can really do, just suck it up and deal....



Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on June 16, 2008, 10:47:49 am

Ronnie  :-[.........sounds like you need a good foot and leg mas·sage................check your ASO, they may have someone, or can send you to a place where you can get a  (deep tissue mas·sage), and in most cases it's FREE, it's not a cure-all for what ills you, but, if anything, it will help you feel better, I try to get them as offen as I can  ;D..............after a good deep tissue massage (for about an hour or so) I always feel like a NEW MAN........
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 16, 2008, 11:20:39 am
A deep tissue massage sounds wonderful. However, I was warned in DVT/PE class on things we could and could not do...a vigourous massage is a nono as it might loosen a blood clot. ...

then, I could always say..."be gentle with me".... :P
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on June 16, 2008, 11:29:55 am
A deep tissue massage sounds wonderful. However, I was warned in DVT/PE class on things we could and could not do...a vigourous massage is a nono as it might loosen a blood clot. ...

then, I could always say..."be gentle with me".... :P


Hummm well then you may want to try a HOT BATH  ;) (as hot as you can stand it).................that works for me....after a good 2 hours workout of biking & weight trainnig........also you may try to sleep in your BED besides sleeping on the sofa, if you are missing your doggie (you said it died) you might look into getting a Kittie or a Puppy.........but that may not be a good idea, as you don't have a lotta time to care and interact with them......I have 2 Cats well my othehalf BOB has one & I have one, ( the one in my post is name MAX) cats don't need a lotta interaction ( just feed them and clean out the litter box), and well We live with CATS, they only choose to live with us (ours are both nutered and NEVER go outside)........dogs are different, they live for YOU  ;D....I had to put my Chow Chow down, after 14 yrs. back in 2004, she went blind and her back legs gave out  :'( I still think about her a lot, I even see her in my dreams...........I miss my doggie a LOT  :'(
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 16, 2008, 11:42:30 am
Dogs definitely rule.

I have been adopted by two black cats, that run if I get too close. All I do is talk to them. One has been in a fight and his ear is folded forward to his head...weird..in fact, I call him Weirdo....he'll be sleeping on the back doorstep which is pretty elevated. Puts me right about at his eyesight when I walk by and we look each other in the eye...with his weird little ear folded down.... :D

I've been putting off going to the pound until I get my SSDI thing settled. I just can't take on another responsibility until I know that I can take care of them. (don't like to make promises that I can't keep)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on June 16, 2008, 11:49:48 am
Dogs definitely rule.

I have been adopted by two black cats, that run if I get too close. All I do is talk to them. One has been in a fight and his ear is folded forward to his head...weird..in fact, I call him Weirdo....he'll be sleeping on the back doorstep which is pretty elevated. Puts me right about at his eyesight when I walk by and we look each other in the eye...with his weird little ear folded down.... :D

I've been putting off going to the pound until I get my SSDI thing settled. I just can't take on another responsibility until I know that I can take care of them. (don't like to make promises that I can't keep)

 ;D Sounds like Weirdo the black cat, is looking for a good home, cats know a good thing when they see it ( hint, hint  ;) ) that cat won't just hang around, if it didn't want to be with you, it must like something about you ronnie  ;D and I mean that in a good way ;D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 16, 2008, 12:05:47 pm
They are being fed by 'neighbor' with the pine trees.

Man, when they first moved in, they had about 6 dogs outside and two inside plus 4-5 cats. As you could see, our driveways are connected, just one big slab of concrete. The owner of their house, used to live in our house, then built their house and I guess all being family, there was no problem.

Today, I have to keep telling visitors that all of that driveway is not mine. I would leave for work at 5am, and all of those doges were lined up at the gate serenading me and I could see porch lights coming on all up and down the street.

Then I would get home @ 7-8pm and they would line up and serenade me again. Which I would see porchlights coming on all up and down the street.

And people would be walking their dogs in the evening and would be serenaded, and kids would be riding by and be serenaded and eventually the neighborhood got involved and enforced the River Oaks Law/Rule # 2345235rwefd under ordinance #1234wetdfg which stated that no household could have more than 3 dogs. .....
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on June 16, 2008, 02:54:23 pm
. One has been in a fight and his ear is folded forward to his head...quote

I have seen ear mites do so much damage to a cats ear that that is what happened...the ear became deformed and oddly bent forward...ear mites ...nasty things to get rid of.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on June 16, 2008, 03:37:01 pm
They are being fed by 'neighbor' with the pine trees.

Man, when they first moved in, they had about 6 dogs outside and two inside plus 4-5 cats. As you could see, our driveways are connected, just one big slab of concrete. The owner of their house, used to live in our house, then built their house and I guess all being family, there was no problem.

Today, I have to keep telling visitors that all of that driveway is not mine. I would leave for work at 5am, and all of those doges were lined up at the gate serenading me and I could see porch lights coming on all up and down the street.

Then I would get home @ 7-8pm and they would line up and serenade me again. Which I would see porchlights coming on all up and down the street.

And people would be walking their dogs in the evening and would be serenaded, and kids would be riding by and be serenaded and eventually the neighborhood got involved and enforced the River Oaks Law/Rule # 2345235rwefd under  #ordinance1234wetdfg which stated that no household could have more than 3 dogs. .....

Yeah here in Albuquerqre...we have that same city ordinance (no more than 3 animals per-household of any kind)............it makes me MAD when people don't follow the rules, it's really not fair to the animals when they don't  >:(
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on June 16, 2008, 04:40:56 pm
I attacked this 8ft. bush in the corner of the backyard today.
You look buff and dangerous. LOL Ready for business.


They are being fed by 'neighbor' with the pine trees.
Our next door neighbor has a bunch of stray cats she feeds. She finds them, traps them, gets them snipped and releases them then feeds them. So we have several cats in in our yard most often. They wont come to us either. They eyeball you and make a mad dash if you get too close.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on June 16, 2008, 05:37:53 pm
You look buff and dangerous. LOL Ready for business.

Our next door neighbor has a bunch of stray cats she feeds. She finds them, traps them, gets them snipped and releases them then feeds them. So we have several cats in in our yard most often. They wont come to us either. They eyeball you and make a mad dash if you get too close.

Get some raw meat or fish, and they will come a running ,at least ours do  ;D my Cat MAXX lies all over me, kneeds me to death, purs, and go's to sleep, all day long, he's like a puppy-dog......follows me all around the house ( I cook alot, maybe that's why  ;D) and when I get back from biking my (10miles) he there in the window seal just waiting for me, so, he can make love to my old sweaty shorts & shoes...........he's really funny  ;D and makes me laugh a lotta  :) I don't know why he's so attached to me, when my Chow Chow was put down, I guess he had to step-up-to-the-plate...........smart CAT huh?



[attachment deleted by admin]
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 17, 2008, 01:11:32 am
. One has been in a fight and his ear is folded forward to his head...quote

I have seen ear mites do so much damage to a cats ear that that is what happened...the ear became deformed and oddly bent forward...ear mites ...nasty things to get rid of.

Awww...after much googling I finally found a picture of a cat with it's ears deformed, laying flat forward, because of ear mites. I can only hope that Weirdo has been treated by 'neighbors' as I have never seen him scratch. The only thing I have seen him do are:

sleep

look me in the eye

run
 
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 17, 2008, 01:13:31 am
You look buff and dangerous. LOL Ready for business. /quote]

  ;D Most people say that until I open my mouth and remove all doubt.. ::)



Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 17, 2008, 01:17:45 am
Get some raw meat or fish, and they will come a running ,at least ours do  ;D my Cat MAXX lies all over me, kneeds me to death, purs, and go's to sleep, all day long, he's like a puppy-dog......follows me all around the house ( I cook alot, maybe that's why  ;D) and when I get back from biking my (10miles) he there in the window seal just waiting for me, so, he can make love to my old sweaty shorts & shoes...........he's really funny  ;D and makes me laugh a lotta  :) I don't know why he's so attached to me, when my Chow Chow was put down, I guess he had to step-up-to-the-plate...........smart CAT huh?



I'd say he's very smart and appears to be well fed and taken care of....dare I say 'spoiled rotten?'
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 17, 2008, 01:54:06 am
After Sit and Be Fit, I sat and was tired. :D

I can't seem to shake this foggy feeling and keep dropping things. I woke Katie at 930am, as Charlotte was to be here at 10AM. 931AM..dingdong...and Charlotte was e-i-e-i-early....

By now, my eyes got involved and were bleary and felt to be burning..avoided the couch as I was going to the bank today. I got my Stimulus Check on Saturday. As I was leaving, I asked Katie is I should lock the door or leave it unlocked for Romeo. "huh?" ...

Her 'boyfriend' won't come over if I'm here, so I was letting her know that I was going to be gone for at least 2 hours.  ::)

Just to show that I still love my truck I went to the car wash and spent $3.00 scrubbing, rinsing and waxing......all courtesy of a furnished brush on a wand and a spray wand....

I was probably giving the owners caniptions when I lowered the tailgate and sent all those pine needles shooting out into the washing bay. They have a security camera. ...and don't live far, if not next door. They mostly get all 'het up' at people who hit up the changer for $5.00 or more in quarters as they have to keep refilling it. A lot of people just get change for the laundromat and leave.

Boy, it's been almost a year come July 4th since I had my DVT and stopped working. I haven't been to the bank since then. I've banked there for almost 20 years and the doorman and tellers know be by name. It felt kinda weird, knowing that they might not ever see me again. Unless I win the Texas Lottery, or have to liquefy my IRA.

Went ahead and treated myself to a new pair of Ozark Trail sandals that were on sale in the middle aisle for $5.00. And a $5.00 shirt. WalMart appears to have been slashing prices the closer the new Super Target across the street comes to completion.

Completely wore myself out trying to stay away long enough for Katie to have her afternoon delight. When I got home I laid straight down, elevating my leg and wondering if neuropathy would take over if I had new feet put on....

Katie woke me up for 6pm meds and dinner was chicken breast, bean/cheese burritos, rice, and southwestern beans.




 


Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 17, 2008, 02:10:57 pm
Well, Katie and Romeo were grateful for the time together. Apparently, my being home 24/7 has put a serious crimp in their romantic trysts.  :D

Loud ringing in my ears woke me up at 5am. I did not want to get up. I felt like the very air was pushing me back down and whispering "sleep...sleep"
I did get up fifteen minutes later and got my kitchen chair for Sit and be Fit at 530am. even though my body was fighting my brain on it.

I put the tape in for recording and gave in and laid down, and petulantly laid there until the credits had finished and then jumped up and got in the chair. Once started, I;m going to finish, so got into the routine. and then....

Mary Ann threw me for a loop, she had hand weights! I had to get up and rush to the bedroom and get my hand weights thinking, ' I must have graduated to some advanced level.'. :-\

She wore me out.  It is trash day, so I had to roll out the trash bins. then, I had to go back to sleep. I guess I will someday be body beautiful, prone to being horizontal on a couch, with one leg/foot larger than another, slightly discolored..(it's soon to be all the rage)....with...(let me go get my comb)..there....good hair....you can do anything as long as your hair is looking good. :D

I had to get up and look out the window. The wind is BLOWING. tree branches are bending to the ground. It is dark and gray and wind is blowing up dust clouds, leaves ...but, no rain..where's the rain?...a thought wanders through that I washed my truck yesterday...it should be raining...

Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 18, 2008, 07:24:27 am
So, I'm sitting here, listening to my ears ring.  :-\

I have just finished Sit and be Fit. She must have osmosed through the Universe that I have been having difficulty in dropping things as I needed a rubber band and we are rolling up our towels and putting the rubber band around it. then using it to squeeze and flex our fingers and wrists. Then there are these touching fingers to the thumbs making "O's"

I have my bottle of Atenolol next to the phone to remind me to call in and refill.

Dang, my eyes have really been bleary for this past week. Eye exam said nothings wrong, so it must all be in my head.  :-\

So, I'm making two lists. One of ailments that the doctor recognizes, and one they ignore. Then there's the one that has the few that I whine and cry and and carry on enough that they finally recognize.  :-\

Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on June 18, 2008, 01:17:50 pm
We got that rain you where looking for. The wind snatched up my new outdoor umbrella and knocked over our glass table spraying glass all over the back patio. Broke one of the arm thingys on the umbrella too. LOL the patio looks like hell but we got most of the glass up.
(http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b324/Winiroo/patio.jpg)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Jeff G on June 18, 2008, 02:21:50 pm
 Nice pool Wendy , when is the pool party ?
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on June 18, 2008, 02:53:56 pm
LOL Thanks

We are actually hosting one for our hetero group next month.

Guess that wouldnt be helpful for many of this group...

The pool needs a little work. some of the tiles have fallen of and I think it has a leak.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 18, 2008, 11:04:23 pm
You look buff and dangerous. LOL Ready for business.

Our next door neighbor has a bunch of stray cats she feeds. She finds them, traps them, gets them snipped and releases them then feeds them. So we have several cats in in our yard most often. They wont come to us either. They eyeball you and make a mad dash if you get too close.

I bet they do make a mad dash...just look at what happened the last time they trusted someone....got snipped :D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 18, 2008, 11:09:00 pm
LOL Thanks

We are actually hosting one for our hetero group next month.

Guess that wouldnt be helpful for many of this group...

The pool needs a little work. some of the tiles have fallen of and I think it has a leak.

Maybe you could drag the broken table over to the missing tiles, sort of create a natural disaster scenario,  and blame it all on a small tornado and get insurance to help out?  :-\ ;D

Were you home when it broke? I bet it was loud and you didn't know what the heck was going on. I would have been maneuvering Katie's wheelchair to the middle hallway and grabbing pillows. :D

Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 18, 2008, 11:11:57 pm
Nice pool Wendy , when is the pool party ?

I'll bring hot dogs. I just know with a fancy layout like that, there's a grill up in there somewhere.  :D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 18, 2008, 11:29:01 pm
Katie gave Charlotte the day off, for some reason. And I had been fighting off taking a morning nap waiting for her show up, until Katie parked in the living room ready to play POGO...Wednesday is 'Badge Day'....it's a POGO thing...and then I got the news that there would be no Charlotte today.

Called in my Atenolol refill and then decided to call Binder and Binder since we hadn't communicated since April. I was just going to update her on my oral surgery, start date on HIV meds, and to add on my new Dr G when she started to ask about appointment dates and my mind went ...blank...and I had to run to the living room throw Katie off the computer, and switch users to pull up my calendar where I have all pertinent information.

We used to have two phone lines, one for the phone and one for the computer. Then, we got High Speed, so didn't two phone numbers, so I canceled my phone number and got a cellular. I have three hard drives and monitors and such, and there is a phone jack in the kitchen. I just know that there must be some way to connect a computer in the kitchen so we can both be online at the same time......

being electronically challenged, I have only found out that there is a way and it looks VERY complicated and GEEK SQUAD  material. It is way over my head.

Then I got real depressed when she reminded me that though I was on a waiting list to go before a disability judge, it could take 12-24 months. I wonder what I would find if I googled "pay under the table jobs?"

Then I got even more depressed, so I went to sleep. Awoke at 7pm....dang ringing ears....and took 6pm meds at 7pm and dinner was spaghetti.

Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on June 18, 2008, 11:45:39 pm
Yes..............it's called a Router Ronnie (so both of you can be on-line at the same time) they come in both wired or wireless versions, I have one w/ high speed cable internet, a Router can take up to 5 PC's, or more, we have 4 PC's in the house, ) Bob has 2, a Notebbok and a Desktop I have 2 notebooks w/ the 2nd notebook in the Kitchen, so I can look up Cooking Recipes.........they run around 40 bucks and up depending on what you want ;D Routers are inexpensive and been around as long as the internet has been  :) they are EASY to hook up, and fun to use, and they DON'T slow down cuz your using more than one PC a time.........PC's and Notebooks are VERY Cheap right now, so, a 2nd one and a Router shouldn't put you back much $$$$  :D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 19, 2008, 12:08:54 am
I have sort of comandeered the kitchen table as my official battle site.  It's "me" against the world. I want to put a computer in here on that wall phone jack. So, all I have to do is buy a Router? plug it in,  and I'm good to go?

(http://img296.imageshack.us/img296/9495/644959071474147et1.jpg)

Katie has to give verbal directions to her aides NOT to touch anything....I know where everything is and it is where it is for a reason:

(http://img181.imageshack.us/img181/1759/644961764146733xl9.gif)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on June 19, 2008, 08:56:59 am
My MY.....the last supper and a pile of bills.  Thats pretty grim stuff Ron.   ;D
And I see a bag of chips that probably arent on anyones diet, as well.  :o
I have made a compromise.  I only eat organic blue or yellow corn chips and try to make a bag last a week. They tend to get really soggy by the end of the week though. Thats when i become desparate and just pour the salsa over them instad of trying to dip.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on June 19, 2008, 10:27:29 am
I have sort of comandeered the kitchen table as my official battle site.  It's "me" against the world. I want to put a computer in here on that wall phone jack. So, all I have to do is buy a Router? plug it in,  and I'm good to go?


Katie has to give verbal directions to her aides NOT to touch anything....I know where everything is and it is where it is for a reason:



My, I can't seem to make heads are tails of just what's on that table, however , I'm glad that you know where everything is.........Geesh  ???
YEP, that's right ronnie, but you'll have to run a RJ45 internet cable form the router to your other PC (if you go with a Wired Router) or, if you go with a wireless router you'll need 2 wireless router cards for both PC's............also you said you want to use that wall jack, so, I take it that you only have DSL, and not Cable internet.........in your case ( if you want to save some money) go with a wired Router, that way all you will need is just the RJ45 internet cabling ( a lot cheaper than buying 2 router cards for each PC) and RJ45 cable is easy to run along your baseboards at the bottom..........ronnie, if you have any more questions about how this works.....................let me know, and I'll be glad to help you  ;D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on June 19, 2008, 10:53:51 am
Maybe you could drag the broken table over to the missing tiles, sort of create a natural disaster scenario,  and blame it all on a small tornado and get insurance to help out?  :-\ ;D

Were you home when it broke? I bet it was loud and you didn't know what the heck was going on. I would have been maneuvering Katie's wheelchair to the middle hallway and grabbing pillows. :D

Its an older pool I don't think they would fall for it. LOL
Plus it doesn't help that me and Billy are chronic truth tellers.

My boyfriends mom passed away several years ago and he and his older lady friend have adopted each other. She has a mentally retarded son. He was at her house visiting for a few days for Father's day. We had taken her son to the movies that day.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 19, 2008, 01:43:25 pm
My, I can't seem to make heads are tails of just what's on that table, however , I'm glad that you know where everything is.........Geesh  ???
YEP, that's right ronnie, but you'll have to run a RJ45 internet cable form the router to your other PC (if you go with a Wired Router) or, if you go with a wireless router you'll need 2 wireless router cards for both PC's............also you said you want to use that wall jack, so, I take it that you only have DSL, and not Cable internet.........in your case ( if you want to save some money) go with a wired Router, that way all you will need is just the RJ45 internet cabling ( a lot cheaper than buying 2 router cards for each PC) and RJ45 cable is easy to run along your baseboards at the bottom..........ronnie, if you have any more questions about how this works.....................let me know, and I'll be glad to help you  ;D

@.@ ..uhh...we have ATT/Yahoo Charter DSL...I don't think anything on the floor  would survive Katie's wheelchair as the doorway to her bedroom is now almost half the hall.... still thinking...
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 19, 2008, 01:56:17 pm
My MY.....the last supper and a pile of bills.  Thats pretty grim stuff Ron.   ;D
And I see a bag of chips that probably arent on anyones diet, as well.  :o
I have made a compromise.  I only eat organic blue or yellow corn chips and try to make a bag last a week. They tend to get really soggy by the end of the week though. Thats when i become desparate and just pour the salsa over them instad of trying to dip.

This is what comes from having two people merging into one household. I have to let Katie have input. The picture is hers. My Last Supper is an oil painting, that is unframed and rolled up in a tube ....The blue butterflies are hers. Those aren't chips. ..bagged Honey Nut Cheerios..cheaper than the box...and animal crackers...

Not bills...Hospital/doctor reciepts, medicine reciepts, letters from Binder and Binder, Social Security Administration, bank statements, things that Binder and Binder wants, things that I had ot have to be reclassified to get Ryan White Funding, Income Tax, paperwork from when I had my business, proof that I no longer have said business and am heading down the crapper,  and I''m actually organizing and  putting in a folder, with a cover letter that has an Index....getting ready for a future Court date before a Disability Judge....
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 19, 2008, 02:00:23 pm
Its an older pool I don't think they would fall for it. LOL
Plus it doesn't help that me and Billy are chronic truth tellers.

My boyfriends mom passed away several years ago and he and his older lady friend have adopted each other. She has a mentally retarded son. He was at her house visiting for a few days for Father's day. We had taken her son to the movies that day.

What movie did you see?..We don't go to the movies anymore as it's too difficult getting her wheelchair in and situated...

OMG..did you automatically think that it was from a storm? or that someone had tried to break in?
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 19, 2008, 02:05:56 pm
Bugger...what a morning. 535am and it was thunder, lightening and rain. KA BOOM...boomboomboom..boom. I was just starting on Sit and be Fit and the power went out. Then it came back on. Then it went out, and back on. This continued throughout my entire show. Lost power at least 8 times.

Then, I couldn't get on the computer for three hours and Katie comes in and resets the modem.... ::)

Surprise, Katie did her first official Sit and be Fit today with Charlotte.  :D

Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Jeff G on June 19, 2008, 02:09:52 pm
Is this sit and fit show a local thing ? . I have never heard of it  ;D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on June 19, 2008, 02:11:03 pm
@.@ ..uhh...we have ATT/Yahoo Charter DSL...I don't think anything on the floor  would survive Katie's wheelchair as the doorway to her bedroom is now almost half the hall.... still thinking...


You would run the RJ45 Cable along the baseboard/molding, in most cases it can be tucked UNDER them, where they are outta-sight, and not in the way of anythnig are anybody....or you could drill a hole into the wall to reach the next room where the other PC would be (if you have the tools and you are handy) there is always a way to get this DONE  ;D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 19, 2008, 02:17:24 pm
Is this sit and fit show a local thing ? . I have never heard of it  ;D

It's on PBS Channel 13, here. I was googling for Body Electric which is not showing in my area anymore, When I found Sit and be Fit. Of course, I plan on graduating and moving on, :D but Katie is in a wheelchair.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on June 19, 2008, 02:21:17 pm
This is what comes from having two people merging into one household. I have to let Katie have input. The picture is hers. My Last Supper is an oil painting, that is unframed and rolled up in a tube ....The blue butterflies are hers. Those aren't chips. ..bagged Honey Nut Cheerios..cheaper than the box...and animal crackers...

Not bills...Hospital/doctor reciepts, medicine reciepts, letters from Binder and Binder, Social Security Administration, bank statements, things that Binder and Binder wants, things that I had ot have to be reclassified to get Ryan White Funding, Income Tax, paperwork from when I had my business, proof that I no longer have said business and am heading down the crapper,  and I''m actually organizing and  putting in a folder, with a cover letter that has an Index....getting ready for a future Court date before a Disability Judge....

Hum........sounds like you need a filing cabinet.............GOOD FOR YOU Ronnie, SAVE, KEEP, and FILE all important paper work........ Binder and Binder, Social Security Administration.......and , Hospital/doctor reciepts, medicine reciepts, the more paper work you have the better for your Disability Case will be..it's VERY IMPORTANT to keep good records, as a former business owner, I'm sure no one has to tell you this  ;D and I know I sound like your wife or mother right now  ;D...so please forgive me if I do, but never-the-less, you sound like you got a good handle on what you need to do  ;)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on June 19, 2008, 03:23:50 pm
What movie did you see?..We don't go to the movies anymore as it's too difficult getting her wheelchair in and situated...

OMG..did you automatically think that it was from a storm? or that someone had tried to break in?

We saw the new Indiana Jones movie. I liked it.
We never go to the movies either because I hate to watch movies with people I cant control. LOL

This time my problem was a kid sitting behind me pushing my chair forward. I am nearly 5'9 and I can barely reach the chairs sitting in front of me.
How does a 9 or 10 year old boy who is maybe I don't know 5'5 at the most reach the back of my chair enough to push it forward without his parents noticing? <shakes head>

I usually just wait till things come out on video. I do however really want to see the movie Hancock.
Trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_sV6Dy8S9o8 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_sV6Dy8S9o8)
I might make an exception for this movie. I just need to check out who I am sitting near.

Naaa, it never occurred to me that it could have been anything other than the storm. On the way home we pointed out downed tree limbs to each other for entertainment. Now if it had been the glass door I might have freaked a little.  ;D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 21, 2008, 01:32:28 am
Hancock does look like a good movie. I want to see Indiana Jones too. If Katie needs another afternoon delight, I'll probably just go to the movie. Bit then, I'll have to pretend that I didn't see it when we watch it together. :-\

Katie is in the shower. It is strange to say that as for the past twelve years she has endured 'Bird Baths'  Charlotte has really been instrumental in motivating Katie 'to do' and cutting her off at the pass when she starts with the 'giving of excuses' or 'I can't do that'

She got here at 10am, awaking me, then I awakened Katie. I am afraid that I am turning into the 'zombie' I feared, when the Dr upped my Gabapentin doseage. Everything has shifted. Now, instead of being awake all the time, I'm asleep all the time.

When the phone is for me, Katie is always saying "well, he's asleep right now, can I take a message?"

I am living in a strange world of chunks of time: wake up, do something and go back to sleep. Upon awakening, I have to look at the calendar to see what day it is and then determine if it's morning or night.

I will remember that I did Sit and be Fit, and that was at 530am, on Friday morning. ..and I took my 6am meds...then back to sleep. I let Charlotte in at 10am....re-look at the calendar to make sure what day it is, and...

 I have to make a list of what I want/need to do on that day. Today is Friday, Grocery Day. So, after Charlotte leaves, I will go to the store.

Geez, Louise,...I can hardly walk. Toes, legs, are numb and tingling like a beehive. My heels feel bruised, I may have to start sitting down to pee as standing still is not an option. My heels ache even while sitting.

Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on June 21, 2008, 11:05:57 am
Ron
No offense hun but this does not sound right.  If you're losing track of time and so on......there is something wrong. Is this supposed to go away after a while since the dosage was recently upped?  I hope so. I would not put up with that.
Just saying
Joel
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Jeff G on June 21, 2008, 03:24:36 pm
Hey Ron
I'm with Joel on this one , maybe think about calling your doctor and give him or her an update on how you are feeling .
                        Take care buddy , Jeff
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on June 21, 2008, 08:20:30 pm
I hope you get better soon. I hate to hear you are in so much pain.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 22, 2008, 12:39:27 am
Thanks guys. My next Dr Appointment is on Thursday 26th.

The pain in my heel has gone away. For which I am very grateful, as for awhile there, the pain got so bad that I could envision myself taking to a wheelchair and competing with Katie for access through the doorways. The pain has  migrated to the back of my neck and along my left shoulder blade. The only time it doesn't hurt is when I'm lying down = sleeping.  The ever present numbness remains.

I was making the rounds of my Kingdom. It appears that the Trumpeter Vines have started to bloom. Yes, there are so many vines, that they have actually survived the brutal attack I have given them over the past month. Un-believable.

(http://img528.imageshack.us/img528/5900/649702992821879ga9.gif)


(http://img299.imageshack.us/img299/3776/649705638990650cl4.gif)

Then, I was pulling vines and weeds in the flower beds in the front yard and I noticed that the brown calico was nestled against the fence.

(http://img80.imageshack.us/img80/7514/649713961915538ad0.gif)


Kids were going by on skate boards being very loud. More came by on bikes. Then one of the neigbor ladies was walking her little dogie by. It was barking and carrying on.

Then it occurred to me that the calico had not moved through any of this activity and this was very unusual as he is a scaredy cat who runs at the sound of the door opening. I got concerned that he might not be well, so went out the gate and came round the corner, expecting him to take off running as he usually did whenever I approached. and....instead....I found THE BRAVE CAT....

(http://img162.imageshack.us/img162/1585/649720797040749gr7.gif)

It was a McDonalds sack...

Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on June 22, 2008, 09:33:41 am
LMAO too funny
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 23, 2008, 02:40:09 am
the Annual:  Changing of the Light Bulbs....

It seems like every year, all the light bulbs start to blow out. You go to turn on a light and..'click' and then 'poof' and then you are in darkness.

Sometimes the changing of the bulb is easy and painless. Such as a lamp, or the laundry room that doesn't have a cover.

then Home Depot had a sale......

Adding the ceiling fan lights. My bedroom has a shade that weighs at least ONE TON. Good grief. It is comparable to lifting weights at the gym.

(http://img171.imageshack.us/img171/8111/651321781164243rj3.gif)

After getting the bulb in you have to align the screw hole and get it just right and trying not to drop the whole ONE TON apparatus, keeping your balance, and desperately wishing to just get it threaded because after being threaded it's suddenly transformed into a piece of cake...."what's all the fuss about?"

Katie's room has a ceiling fan that looks like an alien space ship. It also has lights on the top and on the bottom. It is also heavy, but I only have to remove the glass, unless I feel lucky and carefully reach over and in slowly unscrewing the bulb and then screwing in the new bulb.

(http://img162.imageshack.us/img162/6610/97591345pj7.jpg)

Currently it needs another bulb, but I haven't been motivated to get in there. I just bought a new pack of bulbs and it is already almost empty. These new and improved bulbs are not cheap. 7- 9 years for 7-9 dollars.

The Living room is a piece of cake as the bulbs are 'right there' and doesn't have 'some assembly required'

(http://img171.imageshack.us/img171/4820/651333230181476vi3.gif)

Same for the dining Room.

(http://img80.imageshack.us/img80/4665/651335678500408tw7.gif)

As you have probably noticed, it was quite a SALE at Home Depot one summer and I replaced all the light fixtures with ceiling fans in an attempt to lower the ELECTRIC BILL.

Keeping in mind the THEME: Keep Katie as Independent as possible, I made sure they all use a remote control. The remote control is very important as we have lost the "live remotes" to their 'growing up and moving out"

It will be interesting to see if these 'curly fry', '9 year', energy efficient bulbs actually are as advertised. Another attempt to lower the ELECTRIC BILL and to save me from the RITUAL of the yearly Changing of the Bulbs.

Today is Sunday. It says so on the computer, so it must be. I took my 6am meds. Then awoke at 3pm. Again at 530pm. Took 6pm meds. Dinner was chicken breast and rice with refried beans.

We watched the new TV series 'In Plain Sight' and some DVD she had got which I don't remember the title. Something like The Sword and the Stone, only it was a child Roman Emperor. ??

Getting ready for bed, Katie ran her wheelchair over the crossbar of the bedside toilet and I had to back the chair and pull and twist to get it unstuck...WITHOUT spilling the urine. Which, of course, I hit the control and made it start flashing so that it wouldn't work. Katie knows how to juggle the cord just right to make it work again. Still waiting on a new chair.

then she unplugged her audio cassette and I had to find the cord/plug out of twelve or more...I was bent over and nearly had an episode that is usually reserved for sitting on the toilet.....finally found the right plug....

Good news is that 'you're stepping on a nail in your heel' feeling has not come back. My right foot and leg are so numb sometimes that I can't tell if my foot is on the floor sometimes without looking. The top of my foot feels there is an ice cube on top of it. ...weird.

I've got my list going for the Dr on Thursday.

Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on June 23, 2008, 08:08:58 am
t will be interesting to see if these 'curly fry', '9 year', energy efficient bulbs actually are as advertised. Another attempt to lower the ELECTRIC BILL and to save me from the RITUAL of the yearly Changing of the Bulbs. ...quote Ron

There have been some very bad reports coming out about these "curly fry" light bulbs....as they use mercury and breakage is a BIG toxic mess. But hey...they last longer.
Personally I dont like them because they flicker like florescents do and make me crazy.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 23, 2008, 10:43:12 am
t will be interesting to see if these 'curly fry', '9 year', energy efficient bulbs actually are as advertised. Another attempt to lower the ELECTRIC BILL and to save me from the RITUAL of the yearly Changing of the Bulbs. ...quote Ron

There have been some very bad reports coming out about these "curly fry" light bulbs....as they use mercury and breakage is a BIG toxic mess. But hey...they last longer.
Personally I dont like them because they flicker like florescents do and make me crazy.


hmm. I'm also beginning to think that they don't like Katie's remote. She has called me in there three times stating that another bulb has burned out and I'm like.?? .. I just put it in and it's a 9 year bulb. Then, Magically, it will come on. I don't know what to do...If the green Earth campaign has their way, don't they say that the incadescent bulbs have equal bad reports?

Soon it will be lke leaded gas versus unleaded gas. For awhile you had both at the pump. Now , I've noticed the regular leaded is few and far between. And in a 'I'm old' memory fart, I remember us pulling up to the pumps and not getting out and these cute guys came running and were wiping all the windows and smiling at us through the glass, and a guy at the drivers window, asking "what'll it be?  regular or ethyl? " and Mom saying "fill it up with ethyl"...

While it was filling up, they would  'pop' the hood and check the oil and vital fluids while we would beg for chump change and go buy a TOMS snacks, usually a bag of peanuts or a peanut log, or a peanut patty.(they were round, red and sweet and full of peanuts)  And they had bathrooms, you didn't have to get a key for, and they were stocked with toilet paper and a mirror over a sink with running water, with a pull down linen towel to dry your hands...and you got ALL the above at gas cost .28 to .33 cents a gallon  :o
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on June 23, 2008, 02:54:24 pm
Those curly light bulbs didnt work out for us. They kept blowing out. No clue why.

We got our electric bill the other day. They changed our energy charge from $0.15885 per killowat hours to $0.24616.
Our bill was an absurd $515.25.

Billy said they can kiss his ass he wont pay it. LOL

I'm certain he will be getting us a new service provider. I have never in my life had an electric bill for more than 200 bucks. 
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Robert on June 23, 2008, 08:06:12 pm
...and you got ALL the above at gas cost .28 to .33 cents a gallon  :o


 and don't forget the free cokes.  They were always having promotions, fill it up and get a free six pack of cokes.

Quote
After getting the bulb in you have to align the screw hole and get it just right and trying not to drop the whole ONE TON apparatus, keeping your balance, and desperately wishing to just get it threaded because after being threaded it's suddenly transformed into a piece of cake...."what's all the fuss about?"

That's why I got the fans without the lights.  Over the last couple of years I've put in 5 ceiling fans, replacing the overhead lights.  Just fans.  No lights.  I just didn't want to spend my time farting around trying to replace those friggin' blulbs.  I figure the table lamps emit enough lights for what I need.

robert
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: aztecan on June 23, 2008, 10:22:09 pm
When I moved into my house, the old man who lived here (we're talking 98) must have been having trouble seeing.

Some of the bulbs were just 100 watts. Most, though, were at least 200 watts.

I still have a couple of them. I won't get rid of a bulb till it burns out. So, I have a 200 watt bulb in my laundry room.

I can spot stains I didn't even know existed.

I am replacing them with the curly lights, or the equivalent thereof. There are some out that look like regular incandescent but are really flourescent.

Ah, the wave of the future.

HUGS,

Mark
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 24, 2008, 01:32:58 am
Those curly light bulbs didnt work out for us. They kept blowing out. No clue why.

We got our electric bill the other day. They changed our energy charge from $0.15885 per killowat hours to $0.24616.
Our bill was an absurd $515.25.

Billy said they can kiss his ass he wont pay it. LOL

I'm certain he will be getting us a new service provider. I have never in my life had an electric bill for more than 200 bucks. 

Katie pays the utilities and is on SSI, which...ain't much. In spite of other offers we have remained on TXU Electric and our bill only gets above 200.00 when it gets to be 100 degrees for two months in a row. When that happens, I have to shuffle money into her account to help pay the bill, but it's not often.

We have noticed a HUGE difference for the good , with the fans.

Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 24, 2008, 01:41:51 am

 and don't forget the free cokes.  They were always having promotions, fill it up and get a free six pack of cokes.

That's why I got the fans without the lights.  Over the last couple of years I've put in 5 ceiling fans, replacing the overhead lights.  Just fans.  No lights.  I just didn't want to spend my time farting around trying to replace those friggin' blulbs.  I figure the table lamps emit enough lights for what I need.

robert

Yup, free cokes in a glass bottle and they were frosty cold. Also there were those free glasses with a fillup. The last set I remember looked like high ball glasses and had a plastic coaster that snapped onto the bottom at the EXXON stations. My vile, evil first step father would go in and buy them by the case. Apparently he and the station owner were drinking buddies.  ::)

I was going to do table lamps, but then Katie backed her chair up and snagged the floor lamp which is against the wall and partially behind the computer desk and dang if she still didn't get it. So. I figured the safest route was up off the floor thinking she couldn't snag anything up on the ceiling.

Then, just as I thought I had won....she was having a moment with her reacher, and up it went and plowed into the fan blades. :-\
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 24, 2008, 01:47:38 am
When I moved into my house, the old man who lived here (we're talking 98) must have been having trouble seeing.

Some of the bulbs were just 100 watts. Most, though, were at least 200 watts.

I still have a couple of them. I won't get rid of a bulb till it burns out. So, I have a 200 watt bulb in my laundry room.

I can spot stains I didn't even know existed.

I am replacing them with the curly lights, or the equivalent thereof. There are some out that look like regular incandescent but are really flourescent.

Ah, the wave of the future.

HUGS,

Mark


I would not be my Moms child if I threw something out before it's time. I have bulbs in the laundry room that were in a lamp that was in the basement for years, and finally got rid of, but..."upupup."..and I snag the bulb..

Those 100-200 watters really do bring things to light.  :D and it's not necessarily good things.. :-\ "turn out that light!"
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on June 24, 2008, 03:31:00 pm
Oh and I failed to mention they the electric company thinks we used 852 more kilowatt hours than last month and is going to charge us $6 to come reread the meter if we are right.
If they are right they said they wouldn't charge the 6 bucks.

Piracy I say! LOL
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Jeff G on June 24, 2008, 03:41:48 pm
My electric bill has not been over $80 since I moved into my new place , I'm not looking forward to winter when I will have to heat this place with propane .
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on June 24, 2008, 03:47:22 pm
When i was living alone I had a house that did not have central air conditioning.
The bill durring the winter was like 60 bucks but durring the summer it was at the least 120 usually.
This house has central air and its 300 sq feet larger. But there is no way we used that much electricity. We keep the thermostat at 78 or higher durring the day and right now aside from this computer the only thing running is clocks and the fridge.

This house does have a pool though. But still, no way.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Jeff G on June 24, 2008, 04:00:35 pm
I have been running my central air for months now . I was concerned because it seemed to be running all the time , but the bill is low ...for now . This place is small maybe like 1200 sq ft .
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on June 24, 2008, 04:49:54 pm
I think ours is 1200 too.

Sorry for hijacking your thread Ronnie  ;D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on June 24, 2008, 04:51:20 pm
I have been running my central air for months now . I was concerned because it seemed to be running all the time , but the bill is low ...for now . This place is small maybe like 1200 sq ft .

1800 sq ft. here, but NO CENTRAL AIR  >:(  Swamp cooler instead  ??? and when it get pass 80 or 90 outside for-get-about-it, feels like it's blowing out HOT AIR.........and my Gas & Electric bill runs aound $100 bucks in the summer to about $200 in the winter........problem is, when i get my bill it seems to go up, and then go down...I wonder if them Idiots at PNM can even read a metter correctly......I have caught them at it so many times, that's why when I see something that's not right or more than it should be, I always call them to get them out to read my metter AGAIN!  ??? after I do that, my bills mysteriously GO's way Down  ::) now isn't that interesting to say the least  8)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Jeff G on June 24, 2008, 04:58:10 pm
I think ours is 1200 too.

Sorry for hijacking your thread Ronnie  ;D

I don't think Ronnie will mind Wendy . We have pictures of his whole house , its kinda like we are just stopping by his house and I bet he doesn't mind if we chat while we are here . ;D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on June 24, 2008, 05:08:24 pm
I don't think Ronnie will mind Wendy . We have pictures of his whole house , its kinda like we are just stopping by his house and I bet he doesn't mind if we chat while we are here . ;D

Oh Ronnie's a big ole sweetheart  :-* I don't think he would mind  ;D I do like to read his post tho, a lotta times I just lurk-around here, and see if I want to post, most of the times I do  ;D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Jeff G on June 24, 2008, 05:25:10 pm
I really get a kick out of his thread and yes he is a sweetheart , he always has a kind word or two .
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on June 24, 2008, 06:05:07 pm
I don't think Ronnie will mind Wendy . We have pictures of his whole house , its kinda like we are just stopping by his house and I bet he doesn't mind if we chat while we are here . ;D

LOL I like that
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 24, 2008, 11:46:06 pm
Oh and I failed to mention they the electric company thinks we used 852 more kilowatt hours than last month and is going to charge us $6 to come reread the meter if we are right.
If they are right they said they wouldn't charge the 6 bucks.

Piracy I say! LOL

Buncha bull. they don't even have to get out of their vehicles here anymore. They have some kind of laser/radar/rifle scope  gun that they supposedly point at the meter and get a reading.?? weird. I don't see how that works....but, I would rather see them walking the streets in their cute uniforms with the BIG white letters METER READER on them.  :D

Katie always checks the graphs on previous years usage and if she sees something out of whack, she's on the phone. One time, we had a HUGE bill that they admitted that they guesstimated ?? Which, apparently, they have stated they have always done, and the next bill after the guesstimation is adjusted.?? even weirder....
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 25, 2008, 01:26:23 am
Well, I slept right through Sit and be fit.  Guess I'll have to do a make up class. ::)  And the universe, once again osmosed that I needed some kind of exercise through Charlotte. She came to me thinking something was wrong with the remote to Katie's ceiling fan as the lights would not come on.

So, as is what usually happens when I stick my head in the sand, I'm am now having to deal with 'light needed here' and take the heavy shade off and unscrew the dang curly fry bulbs that the fan has now made known:  it don't like 'em..

I now have to put regular light bulbs back on the house inventory and proceed to take the regular light bulbs that are over her sink and in her shower. The curly bulbs are blown, as I was warned by Wendy had happened to her. So I had to get new ones down and put in over the sink and in the shower and now there is light and this room should be done for another year.

(http://img156.imageshack.us/img156/3340/654448281811105mh4.jpg)

Then Charlotte couldn't find the cover to the battery compartment on the remote. So, after an exhaustive search, she concluded it must be under the front of the bed. So, after climbing over oxygen tanks, and the potty chair, it's determined that the front of the bed has to come up. It is a hospital bed and Charlotte grabs the remote and retrieves the missing part.

I would have been able to think of the remote for the bed, instead of all that scrabbling, but my meds were kicking in, and I am also suffering from my college degree not being as fresh as Charlotte's education.

 It took me 20 years to get my college degree. I started out with a full head of steam, but after discovering 'drugs, sex, and rock and roll',  I dropped out so I could work full time to make money to support these three habits that took a prominent position in my young life.

When I did return to college, (in my forties) after having burned myself out on drugs and rock and roll....who ever gets enough sex?...I was in a more serious frame of mind for learning and studying and actually wanting to get my degree.

For years, Mom would always sneak it into our conversations.....when are you going to finish that degree?..She firmly believed that one could not get anywhere without one (she had two)..and so was extremely pleased when I did get down to it.

It was 1993 and I had just been diagnosed. I was on Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit, Zoloft, and hydrocodone for a back injury. I had been working for the Texas Department of Mental Health and Retardation for 7 years and suddenly lost my job when our facility was closed.

So, I went to the Texas Rehabilitation Center, where after an assessment of my job skills, it was discovered that I only needed two years to complete my degree, of which one year could be knocked off due to 'experience'  ::) and my age  :-\

They agreed to pay my tuition for the degree. So, here I was, a Full Time student, HIV+, and still wondering what the heck I was going to do with myself as I had been on workers comp for three years due to the back injury and that was now over. So, I had to go to work.

One problem with going to school FULL TIME is that it is full time and there is no time for anything else...not if you want that degree with a Grade point average to match. And then, believe it or not, the formal education I had already accumulated through the years, is now obsolete! I was floored. What with computers and archaeology and 'new and improved' brains and ways of thinking, I found that I had to 're-learn' that which I had already learned...getting dizzy here...

So, I spent a lot of time in the library doing research as I was not even computer literate as 'back then', even if you did happen to be able to AFFORD one, you weren't allowed to use it, as it was considered to be a form of cheating. (not even a calculator could be used on math tests...(that's cheating). Math was not my forte. Don't get me wrong, I knew addition, subtraction and multiplying...and have found that for the basics in my life (most importantly, keeping that checkbook balanced)..those three forms of math were all that was needed.

I had absolutely no use for an isosceles triangle, or the square root of the hypotenuse of a hippopotamuseses butt, in a right angle to the sun casting a shadow on the ground on a windy day, with the wind going east, but a front coming west on a train with smoke billowing out its stack, going south and it stops three times to take on litres (what's wrong with gallons?) of H2O that makes steam under pressure at six hundred degrees centigrade (what's wrong with Fahrenheit?) which makes holes in the atmosphere..that are so many centimeters (what's wrong with inches?)..well, anyway, it was all gibberish to me.

So, I also find out that employers at these companies that are willing to pay you enough to make it worth your while are not interested in your past achievements, but what do you know about the PRESENT?..i.e. ..they check the date on your degree..(apparently it can expire)...I'm seeing some kind of racket going on here..and I'm thinking that if RAP gets involved, I am definitely not going to be able to present myself in a favorable light as I will turn RAP off the minute it starts. But, I make adjustments and pay attention and 'fake it till I make it' and with a lot of 'sheer dumb luck' get my degree.
   Now, unfortunately, you still have to have some kind of income while racking your brains, and most jobs that say part time....aren't.

Oh, they will sit and emote with you and agree that your education is more important than anything, but just try getting off work for an exam, or to study for the exam, or even to do research at the library (which you cannot put a time limit on)...

well, how much time do you need to go to the library?..well, I need you to be here, and do overtime, and someone did not show up and I need you here and suddenly, education is in the way of your work, and you have to decide to quit and starve on the street or work and study on maybe 3 hours sleep a day. sigh....

So, I discover Pizza Hut. And, it's part time, as during the day, the only rush is lunchtime and then dinners(plural) rushes, as people eat whenever the urge hits after five.

The daytime was scheduled with hardcore drivers who had been there forever and did not want any competition, so I did not have to worry about being called in during the day, which kept my 'school' schedule safe.

You had to learn the streets in your area and where they were. AND, you had to have NIGHT VISION. Geez, there are some streets in this world where they seem to never have working bulbs in the street lights or front porches.

I had to really 'hunt' some addresses, (not all houses are 'marked' ..but after you have been there a while, you learn. Mostly, it's the same people who order all the time and soon you can get to their homes in your sleep.

At the Ridglea Country Club Estates, where you can drive up the driveway for five minutes and just as you think...is there a house at the end of this?..there it is. We had one house, that if the order ticket had 'JAPS'(jalapenos) on the side, it was a red flag that 'Daddy' was home and he tipped at least ten dollars...woohoo..

.if it didn't say 'JAPS', you would either get the maid...no tip...or the wife...maybe a dollar or two.

There was a medical school in this area, Osteopathic Hospital, and an area on 7th Street, which was VERY nice homes with garage apts. they let out to students.

Apparently, medical students are under a lot of stress, and pizza and beer are stress relievers as they would usually order every night. Sometimes I would go to a house with vibrating doors and windows, and they were all in a 'festive' mood.

My uniform was a blue shirt and shorts and I had some nice legs (if I do say so myself) and these very drunk women would answer the door and ..oohlala,,aren't you cute?.(and,..I was)..and look at those legs, and bring the pizza in and set it over there...over there was deep into the interior of the house.

We weren't allowed to enter houses, as anything could happen when the door closed, (it was a rule).. so I usually had a hard time staying put on the porch, and then they would MAKE everyone empty pockets for a tip for the CUTE PIZZA BOY at the door.(there is money to be made delivering pizza)....I really had a good time delivering pizza.

Some of the deliveries must have gotten ideas about driving nude through Jack, as they would answer the door in next to nothing and I would be a nervous wreck by the end of my shift after all the teasing I had been subjected to by women and MEN, who set my radars and alarms off all night...IWANTIWANTIWANT...

and then there were the prank calls, and you get to an address of a vacant lot, but the benefit was, well, there was an unwanted pizza, so I never went hungry.


The ugly side of pizza delivery was that you had to pay for our own gas. You also had to pay for the upkeep on your vehicle...(oil change, tires, etc.) (This could explain the shoddy cars I usually see delivering pizza) (I drove a Toyota Celica, with a sunroof...I would get, "is that your car?...pretty nice for delivering pizza)

Not all areas have Country Clubs, or very nice homes. All areas have a mixture, including 'THE HOOD", which if you weren't alert, you could wind up being robbed and possibly hurt.

If the lights were out and the grass is to your knees, I wouldn't stop. In fact, there were streets I REFUSED to go on, and yes, you can refuse to go to a place, if you are afraid for your life.

They would be calling and reporting that their pizza hadn't been delivered and I would be pulling up to the store, and they would say, go back or our fired. I took fired, except there was a regional supervisor there, who decided that he would go back with me, to show me how silly I was being.

As I am driving us 'back', he asks why I drove off.  So, I describe the unlit street, the vacant house with tall grass, not a light on anywhere, and about eight large 'hoods' standing in the dark, overgrown yard with their arms crossed. And sure enough, nothing has changed since my first visit, and he makes me stop, but I REFUSE to open my window and motion that he is to 'proceed to window number two please'....

and he is putting his body into the window as though he is climbing into the car after giving a fifty dollar bill (we're not allowed to take anything over twenty)..and this idiot is letting him attempt to climb in while rummaging through a money bag looking for change....and three others are starting to surround the car,and the guy makes a grab for the money bag, and the idiot freaks, and I hit the gas almost dragging this guy with us, but he manages to fall out, and I floor it and when we get back to the store, I quit.


  So, now instead of Pizza Hut on my shirt I have Domino's Pizza....well, I gotta survive this education thing...

And I graduated in 1995, with a BA in  Foreign Languages/Spanish. I also attended many funerals as my friends were dropping like flies. They were especially concerned for me as I was gaining weight, overnight. And I was active, going to school and delivering pizza. I also belonged to a gym, Bally's. I looked like a balloon, blown up. Can you guess which picture that was?

(http://img262.imageshack.us/img262/9712/654550320593544ms4.gif)

I was on Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit for eight years before I stopped taking them. I managed to lose the weight, but my face never looked the same, to me. Everyone else kept saying..you look just fine. ...I did not agree.  The left picture is before gaining weight.  The middle picture is after I lost the weight.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 25, 2008, 09:57:18 am
Life....it doesn't leave you alone. Remember back on May 31st when I saw sparks in the trees? Guess who just showed up this morning?
The Electric Company and a tree cutting service. We are 'fixin' to lose power for about two hours.

My first thought was to inform him that I had just medicated and this was not a good time for me.  ::)

Then I took him around back. Holy Crap!. look at all those trees and vines.  :o

Maybe it will be longer than two hours.  :-\

No TV.  >:(

No Computer.... >:(

No air conditioning.. >:( :'( >:(

Fortunately for me, I have a Velvet Hammer and will probably sleep through most of it.  8)



Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on June 25, 2008, 12:59:14 pm


GRRRRRRRRRR! WOOOOOOOOOOF!  Ronnie  ;D I like the photo with the beard.............you look very handsome with that facial hair........  :P
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on June 25, 2008, 02:11:36 pm
Since you shared your drivers license picture I had to show you mine.
I got my renewal online so they reused my last photo. Well, my last photo when I got it they made me orange instead of my normal whitey white.

I wish I had the other license. I gave it to Billy and I think he put it in his wallet.
When the new one came in the mail I was no longer slightly orange, I was really orange.

At least now I know what I'd look like with a tan...LOL

(http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b324/Winiroo/DL.jpg)

Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 25, 2008, 11:45:55 pm
denb....thanks

Look at Wendy with bangs.  :D

Asplundh Tree Service really freaked out at the jungle that I was surrounded by. He had given me a guesstimate of two hours until I took him around to the back.

They didn't even tell 'neighbor' that they were cutting the power. I went and knocked on the door and advised them what was going on. Neighbor has a brindle greyhound and a teeny tiny feisty black..whatever... who always greet me at the gate. I just call them Brindle and Blackie. Anyway, I brought up that they needed to be put up so the cutting crew could take care of the tree branches hanging over the driveway.

(http://img413.imageshack.us/img413/8144/656079831931711vf4.jpg)

There were 5 Hispanic laborers and they were all dressed in brightly colored T-Shirts and were climbing all up in the trees. I am going to have to say that I think that the tornado did a much better job on the trees than the hack job these guys did. This is the tree you see from the front over the driveway.

(http://img50.imageshack.us/img50/7351/656097743924994hs6.gif)

and they left vines growing on the bottom black wire?? weird

Here's the utility pole/with a light, that's been lost all these years: and another hacked tree

(http://img154.imageshack.us/img154/5264/656109299264074ul3.gif)

and here's a grand vista of one giant hack job:

(http://img154.imageshack.us/img154/4872/656115240351605zi0.gif)

more hacking:

(http://img73.imageshack.us/img73/4497/656122031502714et8.gif)

OMG...people live back here: we have more neighbors: maybe we should let some of this grow back, I feel so exposed: :D

(http://img254.imageshack.us/img254/2049/65612698360254ax8.gif)

Then they had to chipper the wood in the wood chipper:

(http://img529.imageshack.us/img529/5126/656132975160200uq2.gif)

they brought new meaning to the term 'drag and drop'

(http://img45.imageshack.us/img45/6030/65613779490878ri3.gif)

After they filled curb, they started to fill up the front yard. I had never seen a wood chipper in action before and this guy started shoving a branch in and ...chonk...and it was gone... :o

It took them 6 hours. We were without power for 3 hours and I couldn't stop sweating. I'm just like a diesel engine, slow to warm up, but once I get warmed up, I just purr....Of course, it took the house forever to cool back down.

My foot and ankle were stinging like I had stepped in an ant bed from my neuropathy. I could hardly breathe from the humidity and heat. It was 97 degrees. My back was screaming and all I wanted to do was lie down, which I kept doing every 20 minutes or so, then getting up and then lying down.

After all my yardwork, I feel that I almost have to start again. There are thousands of pieces of ends of branches and debris from the back to the front. ..Goood cardio.....

I have my list for my Dr appointment tomorow morning.

#1 2nd opinion on this bruise. The skjn is smooth, like a scar. It has not gone away. looks exactly the same.

#2 sleeping all the time, day and night:

I am living in a strange world of chunks of time: wake up, do something and go back to sleep. Upon awakening, I have to look at the calendar to see what day it is and then determine if it's morning or night.

I will remember that I did Sit and be Fit, and that was at 530am, on Friday morning. ..and I took my 6am meds...then back to sleep. I let Charlotte in at 10am....re-look at the calendar to make sure what day it is, and...

 I have to make a list of what I want/need to do on that day. Today is Friday, Grocery Day. So, after Charlotte leaves, I will go to the store.

When the phone is for me, Katie is always saying "well, he's asleep right now, can I take a message?"

I am living in a strange world of chunks of time: wake up, do something and go back to sleep. Upon awakening, I have to look at the calendar to see what day it is and then determine if it's morning or night....oh wait..I already said that... :-\

I will remember that I did Sit and be Fit, and that was at 530am, on Friday morning. ..and I took my 6am meds...then back to sleep. I let Charlotte in at 10am....re-look at the calendar to make sure what day it is, and...oh wait. I already said that.. >:(  I'm going to have to make a checklist...I've already done that, on this day, at this time... :-\

 I have to make a list of what I want/need to do on that day. Today is Friday, Grocery Day. So, after Charlotte leaves, I will go to the store.


#3 ringing in ears:

Then there's this ringing in my ears. It "woke me up", but I still feel tired in the limbs and even in my face (if that makes sense). I was back asleep for the night about 3 1/2 hours later.

#4 Neuropathy

Geez, Louise,...I can hardly walk. Toes, legs, are numb and tingling like a beehive. My heels feel bruised, I may have to start sitting down to pee as standing still is not an option. My heels ache even while sitting.

Good news is that 'you're stepping on a nail in your heel' feeling comes and goes. My right foot and leg are so numb sometimes that I can't tell if my foot is on the floor sometimes without looking. The top of my foot feels there is an ice cube on top of it. ...weird.

Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Robert on June 26, 2008, 02:26:40 am
good luck with the Dr.  I know what you mean about losing  track of the day of the week.  When I wake up in the morning I have to consciously think what day it is and then tell myself out loud.  It's also not uncommom anymore for me to wake up in the middle of the night and not having any idea where I am.  This is all new to me....in the last year.  Last summer I couldn't get through the day without a nap.  These days it seems I need a nap in the morning and another one in the afternoon. 

About the wood chucker.  That reminds me of the movie Fargo.  At the end there's a scene of bloodied snow and an arm sticking out of the chucker.  Great movie.

robert
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 27, 2008, 01:48:16 am
good luck with the Dr.  I know what you mean about losing  track of the day of the week.  When I wake up in the morning I have to consciously think what day it is and then tell myself out loud.  It's also not uncommom anymore for me to wake up in the middle of the night and not having any idea where I am.  This is all new to me....in the last year.  Last summer I couldn't get through the day without a nap.  These days it seems I need a nap in the morning and another one in the afternoon. 

About the wood chucker.  That reminds me of the movie Fargo.  At the end there's a scene of bloodied snow and an arm sticking out of the chucker.  Great movie.

robert

I had to google Fargo. It sounds like a movie I would enjoy, so will put it on the Wish List.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 27, 2008, 02:46:35 am
Well, I had my Dr appointment this morning. I got to sign a 'Happy Retirement' Book for Dr A and I was his last patient for his 'working' career.

(http://img181.imageshack.us/img181/3701/625473677303227lp2.png)

#1  I got my 2nd opinion on my bruise and am now ready for a 3rd opinion. :-\ :D  He gave a look and stated that I must have just been pregnant...??..to clarify he then stated that most pregnant women get ...stretch marks...or...when you are overweight. .??....

I had to remark that I wasn't THAT much overweight to  have stretched my skin to the point of ripping open and then healing.  :-\ Anyway...will tuck that one away to address at a later date.

#2  SLEEP. ...he admitted that the Atenolol and Gabapentin did have side effects of sleepiness. Admitted that there are different types of Blood Pressure medications and that it is hard for some people to find the right one for them. My blood pressure was 121/83. This lead him to the his next conclusion:

The Atenolol seems to have finally helped bring my blood pressure under control, along with my new diet and Mary Ann Wilson RN.(Sit and be Fit) Continue with the Atenolol and temporarily discontinue the Gabapentin to see if my sleepiness is alleviated without it.

I gave a jerk,, when he stated to just stop it, today, which he noticed and second guessed me on my concern that you don't just stop a medication that is used for seizures cold turkey. He stated that it would be OK. Then he dropped the other shoe and stated that I would probably be starting it again soon due to the pain of the Neuropathy from nerve damage in my right leg from the DVT.

#3 Ringing Ears. Answer it, and say "hello". There is nothing that can be done about it. It is a part of growing old. He is 72 and has ringing in his ears, so he knows.

#4  Already addressed with #2. There is nerve damage. I could get a referral to a Cardiovascular Specialist, but in his opinion, the nerve damage has been done and is irreversible.  We also discussed the intermittent sharp pain in my left knee cap. He put it down to slight Arthritis...another sign that I have graduated to just getting old.

So, Dr A is  now officially retired. I'm still assimilating what he told me and I am making a list for Dr Debbie, who LISTENS better. (in my opinion)

(http://img246.imageshack.us/img246/803/658164487204347ru8.gif)

While waiting in the lobby, I noticed that there was new table in the corner with a jig saw puzzle on it. I wasn't really interested in doing a puzzle until the big boss man Jason came out and we started talking and in the conversation, it came out that the puzzle was his idea. His being a cutie pie had nothing to do with my sudden interest in the puzzle. ;)

Then there was another cutie n the lobby and we started talking and were really starting to connect when he got called to the back. >:(

Then I got called to have my blood drawn and there he was talking to the nutritionist. She remarked on how much slimmer I looked and how much weight I had lost.... ;)

I am usually not a good stick as my veins like to hide. I kept catching cutie's eye...accidentally...and my blood must have been pumping as not only did she find a vein right off, it was a gusher.

She was pleased and remarking on it, and I had to bite my tongue as I almost said "instead of those tootsie roll pops, have more eye candy available".::)  ;D

Then I went to the grocery store and since I had nearly burned the kitchen down last week, decided to buy a new Fire Alarm...just in case. ..besides, it had a really good selling feature...'for non emergency alarms, just push the button to silence it'. This is why the existing Fire Alarm was ...non existant  ::) something to do with a broom handle and it not shutting off and being very, very loud.  >:(

After putting up the groceries, I was toasted and went right to sleep. Katie woke me up at 630pm for meds. Dinner was chicken breast, brown rice, pinto beans, corn on cob. Now this chicken breast was ..different. It was Tyson's brand and it stated on the package that it was organically grown. I did not really care about the organic part, but was looking at the price:

For a package of these 6 HUGE breasts, $5.97 (I got two) as compared to the pack of 10 skinless, boneless, for $15.00. (saved money, got more chicken) Then it came time to cook and the instructions said something about their 'protective ice glaze'..??...which I ..ignored.. until I went to turn them and the pan was full of water  :o So we had 'boiled'' chicken breast. ::)

I survived the brown rice because I mixed the beans in with it. This irritates Katie as she likes the taste of plain ol rice, with a dollop of butter, and she REALLY likes the flavor of that Smart Balance. ( I like the taste of rice pilaf)





Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on June 27, 2008, 06:24:51 pm
You might want to check out the label, because often they inject water, salt (and other things) into frozen processed chicken breasts
The packaging might not say it was injected but if there's a list of ingredients and water is the first one then you know the drill.

I like soy sauce on my rice and I prefer the white to the brown.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 28, 2008, 03:30:16 am
You might want to check out the label, because often they inject water, salt (and other things) into frozen processed chicken breasts
The packaging might not say it was injected but if there's a list of ingredients and water is the first one then you know the drill.

I like soy sauce on my rice and I prefer the white to the brown.

Trying to see where all this water is coming from in the chicken pan. I stood in the light of the refrigerator with a magnifying glass hovering over all those teeny tiny words and did not see the word "water" listed anywhere... did see the word Chicken Broth though  ::)

It also stated that you could remove the 'protective ice glaze' before cooking by running under lukewarm water for a minute.

Well, last night was my first night to not take my Gabapentin. Holy Crap. My legs and foot were spasming all night long. Then I got up and almost couldn't walk. I guess that Dr A was hinting that I would have a visitor upon stopping the Gabapentin.

The visitor  is short, probably about 2-3 ft tall. Carries a small, sharp knife and is INVISIBLE. Only shows up when I get up and start walking. It is a 'foller tail' and follows you, stabbing it's sharp knife repeatedly in the side of your leg and on your foot making it nigh to impossible to walk....OUCH...PN..OUCHeee.... :'(

I envisioned Dr A snickering while sitting in his 'retired' chair, drinking his 'retired' toddy and watching his 'retired' TV show as he thought of me ranting that the Gabapentin was not doing anything...why am I taking it? 

Well, I found out why. He showed me why, in a round about sort of way.  And I remember him saying it would only be temporary, as I would probably start taking it again when the pain from the PN kicked in. >:( The old fart. I only lasted one day without it. :-[

When I started the Gabapentin, I was only complaining of numb toes. Today I learned that I have graduated to a new level and it was not tolerable. I hobbled to the bedroom and took my Gabapentin. It did not seem to take long until the invisible, stabbing, entity left. I am so grateful. It was horrible. I really felt like a cripple. What a difference those two pills made.

So,I'm back to numb toes. ....an occasional sharp spasm down leg or in foot, but NOTHING like I was experiencing earlier....

sigh...Charlotte has hurt her back. But she and Katie have already 'bonded' to the extent that she has supplied her own stand-in /replacement until she gets her back pain under control. Apparently she has been dealing with this for awhile from a car crash she was in.

Her replacement is her little sister, Jessie. She is very pretty, and small , and very, very young. (...and how did you spend your summer vacation? in 1500 words or less) But, Katie states that she is 24 and works at a clothing store. (I have always been terrible at guessing peoples ages)

Anyway, she is very shy and Katie has already started on bringing her out of her shell. They colored Katie's hair and she took a shower.

Katie's bathroom was built and paid for by CBA(Community Based Alternatives) They help keep people from living in Nursing Homes. After Katie's back surgery, she was in a nursing home and ...it...was...just awful. People screaming and beating on walls, shouting.."let me out, let me out"...over and over...and then in the mornings it was 'peepee and doodoo' time and soiled bed linens piled in the hallway and puddles on the floor...

So, Mom bought this house and I moved in to pay the rent and Katie was put on a waiting list for 'home improvements'

Katie's bathroom was a tiny little room in the corner of her bedroom. It had a toilet and a sink and a shower. She couldn't(http://) get her wheelchair in it because it is so small...you can turn around and sit on the toilet and you lean forward and you're head is entering the bedroom. She could not get in the shower, so was having 'bird baths'

So after being on a waiting list for YEARS, one day, it happened: "knockknockknock"..these guys drove all the way from Dallas for a month and started to rip out walls, and tile and old sink, toilet and shower. they removed one of her closets.

(http://img517.imageshack.us/img517/5827/659905959377277se1.gif)

They widened her doorway putting in 'pocket doors'. (they slide into the walls)

(http://img212.imageshack.us/img212/4951/16231986xw6.gif)

and then...one day....after weeks of noise, and strangers coming and going....

(http://img258.imageshack.us/img258/466/47017834jk3.gif)

I had an old mirror in a frame that went over a dresser. Removing it from the frame, I broke the corner. >:(  I will either buy a glass cutter and take my chances that I have glass cutting skills, or go to Thrift Town and find another mirror. The cabinet was Katie's birthday gift from Mom.

(http://img168.imageshack.us/img168/6980/68977556ed6.gif)

and though it is a Drive-in shower, she prefers to transfer to this huge bench and take care of business..and after 7 years of bird baths and washing her hair in the kitchen sink and washing her face and brushing her teeth in the kitchen sink.....she has a lot of business to take care of...

(http://img204.imageshack.us/img204/6308/58114074jn3.gif)

It has already been approved to have the front door widened and a concrete ramp put in from the front porch down the driveway....but that.."knockknockknock"...hasn't happened yet....










Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on June 28, 2008, 12:08:08 pm
Ron
I am so sorry that you have to go thru this foot and leg pain.  Kurt has the same problems.  He asks for a foot massage once in a while....in the beginning it was every day.  I asked him why he doesnt need a foot massage evey day and he said he is "Used to" the pain now.  But I think it has subsided a bit. He also had hit his foot (stubbed his toe) and broken a bone so I think he was confusing the two pains. Its just a shame this has to be a part of HIV.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on June 28, 2008, 08:49:45 pm
Ron
I am so sorry that you have to go thru this foot and leg pain.  Kurt has the same problems.  He asks for a foot massage once in a while....in the beginning it was every day.  I asked him why he doesnt need a foot massage evey day and he said he is "Used to" the pain now.  But I think it has subsided a bit. He also had hit his foot (stubbed his toe) and broken a bone so I think he was confusing the two pains. Its just a shame this has to be a part of HIV.

Not to mention that fact that almost ALL of his HIV MEDS, that he's currently on.........Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
 can & do cause neuropathy.............ronnie hunnie :-\ you might want to ask your new DOCTOR if maybe you need a regiment
change of all of your HIV neuropathy causing DRUGS........when I was on most of what your taking about 10 yrs ago I had VERY BAD
neuropathy as well untill my Meds were changed for the better, after most of them were changed, my neuropathy all but disappeared ( I still have some very slight neuropathy), but it's not as bad as it was before 2001.......I just wouldn't put up with that, if I were you  ??? just something you should consider here....there is no reason the walk around in PAIN like that with todays treatments and better newer HIV DRUGS  ???
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 28, 2008, 10:54:28 pm
Ron
I am so sorry that you have to go thru this foot and leg pain.  Kurt has the same problems.  He asks for a foot massage once in a while....in the beginning it was every day.  I asked him why he doesnt need a foot massage evey day and he said he is "Used to" the pain now.  But I think it has subsided a bit. He also had hit his foot (stubbed his toe) and broken a bone so I think he was confusing the two pains. Its just a shame this has to be a part of HIV.

Stubbed toes.. ::) It is approaching july4th....the first day of my DVT that started this new life I am now on. I couldn't get my shoes on because of the  extreme edema in leg/ankle/foot. I must have stubbed my right little toe at least 8 times since....and it is always the same toe. One day I stubbed it twice, within 10 minutes. Thought I was going to lose it....kept waiting for it to drop off. The toenail even turned black and has taken 4 months to clear.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 28, 2008, 11:05:11 pm
Not to mention that fact that almost ALL of his HIV MEDS, that he's currently on.........Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
 can & do cause neuropathy.............ronnie hunnie :-\ you might want to ask your new DOCTOR if maybe you need a regiment
change of all of your HIV neuropathy causing DRUGS........when I was on most of what your taking about 10 yrs ago I had VERY BAD
neuropathy as well untill my Meds were changed for the better, after most of them were changed, my neuropathy all but disappeared ( I still have some very slight neuropathy), but it's not as bad as it was before 2001.......I just wouldn't put up with that, if I were you  ??? just something you should consider here....there is no reason the walk around in PAIN like that with todays treatments and better newer HIV DRUGS  ???

denb...nice avvie...hello handsome....

I might not have it posted correctly, but I took the crixivan/epivir/zerit from 1993-2001 and then stopped.

I just started Truvada/Viramune 8april08.

I am taking Gabapentin now which I was taking for numb toes. I was not aware that my nerve damage had progressed so far since the Gabapentin was working....i.e. I was only feeling numb toes. In my ignorance, I was ranting to Dr A that I did not think that it was working. Apparently, he knew better and had me try to stop taking it, resulting in my day of terror and pain of not being able to walk.

He has retired and I am a little miffed that I won't have the satisfaction of asking him that if he knew that my PN had progressed to that point, why didn't he share that with me? (just a post thought, that will never get anywhere, cause he's gone)



Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 28, 2008, 11:53:45 pm
So now I have my 'sea legs' and feeling spunky, I swept up pine needles and started cleaning on the front yard from the cuttings dragged to the front to the wood chipper. These little pieces of wood are everywhere and stuck in the fence, I even found a piece stuck in the Air conditioning unit, in the flower beds, in other plants.

And I'm wearing gloves, and using other branches to pick up those with suspicious vines drying on them as I still don't know what poison/oak/ivy/sumac look like.

Was outside for an hour and it was so humid sweat was dripping and my shirt was clinging to me. For some reason, this seems to satisfy my mind that I have done something good for myself.

Right now clouds have rolled in and thunder and some rain.

I soaked and then rinsed that special ice glaze off the chicken breasts tonight and they cooked better. I still swear I am growing an allergy to the kitchen as my right leg started buzzing like a beehive and went numb to the toes. Everything I got starts to hurt when I start to cook.  I just worked through it.

these dang pill bottles. they look almost empty and I swear I just opened them the other day. Called in for refills and the pharmacy is closed. Well, it's Saturday.... what happened to Friday? .. But....

in the recording came a message I had never heard before, "If calling after hours, leave your name and the prescription number and if you are going to pick up or want it mailed".... :-\

So, I gave it a go and they should be coming in the mail. ..I liked it. 8)


Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on June 28, 2008, 11:57:57 pm
denb...nice avvie...hello handsome....

I might not have it posted correctly, but I took the crixivan/epivir/zerit from 1993-2001 and then stopped.

I just started Truvada/Viramune 8april08.

I am taking Gabapentin now which I was taking for numb toes. I was not aware that my nerve damage had progressed so far since the Gabapentin was working....i.e. I was only feeling numb toes. In my ignorance, I was ranting to Dr A that I did not think that it was working. Apparently, he knew better and had me try to stop taking it, resulting in my day of terror and pain of not being able to walk.

He has retired and I am a little miffed that I won't have the satisfaction of asking him that if he knew that my PN had progressed to that point, why didn't he share that with me? (just a post thought, that will never get anywhere, cause he's gone)





Tee Hee......Well Thanks       ;D     I didn't see that you weren't taking them anymore.....but Viramune can cause neuropathy too, and about Dr. A being gone now, it is best that he is, I just hope your new Dr. has a better treatment plan for you, sometimes, it's good to get some NEW BLOOD ( New Dr.) to keep you up to date on new HIV treatments , old DR. A just didn't seem to really care, in my 20 yrs. of dealing with HIV Doctors, when they leave and go somewhere else, or retire, they can leave you hanging?  let's hope your new DR.  will pick up where he left off, that is the way it's been for me thur the years with a new DR...............best of luck to ya Ronnie, just make sure YOU are more involved in your HIV treatment & care, ( if you don't care, most dr. don't either) is what I found out, most of all the doctors I ever had may NOT have liked me, but, I always DID hold them accoutable, but at least they all respected me, or I'd like to think they did thur the years ;)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on June 29, 2008, 10:37:35 am
Chuckle chuckle....
"Saturday.... what happened to Friday? .. But....

in the recording came a message I had never heard before, "If calling after hours, leave your name and the prescription number and if you are going to pick up or want it mailed".... " quote Ron
......................................................
I dont know how you havent discovered this feature yet....I always call in my refills on the phone answering service and they are ready for pickuop when I get there.  Only thing is....it requires you to enter all the digits of the 10 digit prescription number and if you dont do it fast enough you get booted.  If I dont have my glasses on I cant even read the damn numbers and have to run to the kitchen sink and hold the little pill bottle up to the light so I can see the itsy bitsy numbers and I always have a hard time with phone systems anyway but this drives me crazy. Its so much nicer to talk to a real person.  But this feature of calling in can be done at 5AM so it might make your life easier.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Jeff G on June 29, 2008, 10:51:42 am
I know what you mean Bear , I got tired of punching all those numbers into the phone also .
The pharmacist used to seem annoyed when I would call , they would ask me for the 10 digit numbers hinting that I should have used the automated refill option .

I finally just told them that I'm on too much medicine and I'm not going to punch 250 digits every time I need meds ... LOL now they know . 
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on June 29, 2008, 01:14:54 pm
I know what you mean Bear , I got tired of punching all those numbers into the phone also .
The pharmacist used to seem annoyed when I would call , they would ask me for the 10 digit numbers hinting that I should have used the automated refill option .

I finally just told them that I'm on too much medicine and I'm not going to punch 250 digits every time I need meds ... LOL now they know . 

Gotta love them phone trees  :( you can never get a real person on the line now-a-days ??? every time I call my meds in, the phone tree Computer CRASHES and I end up getting only half of what I ordered, then, I have to come back the next day to pick up the rest of my meds.........but it could be worst tho, as the RX is only 2 blocks away, so, I can deal with that   :) seems like their has to be a better way for us to get our Meds  ???
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 29, 2008, 02:04:01 pm
hmmm....I might have FAILED  the calling in after hours. I gave the RX numbers orally. I don't remember it asking me to enter it digitally. I'll probably call on Monday and sort of casually say.."I would like to check to see what RX you have ordered for me?.....then I'll know.  :D

I have always managed to call during hours of operation so was not aware that you could do it at any time.....'the older I get, the more I learn'

Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 29, 2008, 02:36:12 pm
Gotta love them phone trees  :( you can never get a real person on the line now-a-days ??? every time I call my meds in, the phone tree Computer CRASHES and I end up getting only half of what I ordered, then, I have to come back the next day to pick up the rest of my meds.........but it could be worst tho, as the RX is only 2 blocks away, so, I can deal with that   :) seems like their has to be a better way for us to get our Meds  ???

There is a better way. But apparently it's 'not allowed'..It's called a Computer.

I have spent a goodly portion of my work history in management. I have always had a computer at my desk that was connected to the 'World' so I could communicate with clients and 'intra' which was our own companies personals. Anyway, anytime anyone asked me for info, I would go to my computer and pull it up.

It could be on employees hours, sick time, vacation time, tardies, missed calls, how many calls, write ups, commendations, hire date, address, phone, ...etc. It was all there, forever, going back years and years....if too many years, it was on microfilm.....my point...we had the information.

It never ceased to amaze that my 'superiors' , who had better passwords than I did, would go wringing their hands because . sally did not report to work and we were busy and they needed to call someone in, yet, would look at me "what can we do?"...and I would go to my computer, and give them the phone number and they looked at me like I was a psychic genius....weird...

Every time I go to an appointment and they hand me an intake form, I just go ballistic inside....."don't you already have it?".".It should be in your computer system?"....

These meds are in their computers, with RX#'x, how many you take, how many are in the bottle. If I can figure out that 30 pill taken at 1 per day will be gone in 1 month, CERTAINLY a computer can too, and automatically spit out the renewal?

"oh. but, circumstances could change"....a simple call from the Dr office, edit, and the change is noted.

Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on June 29, 2008, 02:59:13 pm
There is a better way. But apparently it's 'not allowed'..It's called a Computer.

I have spent a goodly portion of my work history in management. I have always had a computer at my desk that was connected to the 'World' so I could communicate with clients and 'intra' which was our own companies personals. Anyway, anytime anyone asked me for info, I would go to my computer and pull it up.

It could be on employees hours, sick time, vacation time, tardies, missed calls, how many calls, write ups, commendations, hire date, address, phone, ...etc. It was all there, forever, going back years and years....if too many years, it was on microfilm.....my point...we had the information.

It never ceased to amaze that my 'superiors' , who had better passwords than I did, would go wringing their hands because . sally did not report to work and we were busy and they needed to call someone in, yet, would look at me "what can we do?"...and I would go to my computer, and give them the phone number and they looked at me like I was a psychic genius....weird...

Every time I go to an appointment and they hand me an intake form, I just go ballistic inside....."don't you already have it?".".It should be in your computer system?"....

These meds are in their computers, with RX#'x, how many you take, how many are in the bottle. If I can figure out that 30 pill taken at 1 per day will be gone in 1 month, CERTAINLY a computer can too, and automatically spit out the renewal?

"oh. but, circumstances could change"....a simple call from the Dr office, edit, and the change is noted.



You're correct ronnie, but most RX's and most of the people that work there, don't care, can't be bothered, are they are TOO BUSY, everytime I go to mine RX, I have to wait (untill they get off the phone with some DOCTOR) before, they can even look mine up in the Computer, or even correct what's WRONG.............and most of the time, I always have to tell them, (well did you even look it up in the Computer) and they say
"OH I FOUND IT" it's here  :-\.........maybe I should go to another RX  ::).............dunno ???
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on June 30, 2008, 02:35:00 am
Yeah....it's Sunday, and I know it. :D

I have now made it to the side of the house. What a mess. Those tree guys had a real time getting up this path and through this gate with their 'loads'. I got out the rake and just started heading it down the path.

Boy, another hot day. I gave it an hour and quit after working up another good sweat. It must be getting close to time for another haircut as the hair is starting to tickle my ears. I almost reached for a pair of scissors to give myself a trim. I stopped myself, remembering that this is a sign.....go get a haircut.

I got a coupon in the mail for $3.00 off at Pro Cuts. Haircuts have really, really gotten expensive, here lately.   *boing*...I don't go to Pro Cuts...I go to Great Clips....dang it...I really miss Eddie, Darwin  and David..(they have all passed on)

..they would come over and we would get high and they would wrap a towel around my neck and I would get the best haircuts for FREE. Then we would go out to Happy Hour and bar hop all night. Since we were all bartenders, we would also get free drinks wherever we went, and also avoided those dreadful  cover charges...

Here I go, down memory lane, and it's all because some neighbors are getting an early start on July 4th and setting off Fireworks.

It is quite a display that I can see over the rooftops and trees and I am beginning to think that River Oaks is the sponsor. But I don't remember seeing any signs along the road advertising the event when I went to the store. And it really is an event. This is too big for a neighbor in his backyard, which is supposedly illegal anyway.

As a child, I remember that we would get bags full of different goodies to set off. These black caterpillars that you set on the sidewalk, set one end on fire and it swooshed up like black foam with smoke. Then these pinwheels that you attached to a tree or a post and lit it and it spun around real fast. Bottle rockets.....I got in bad trouble one year as I wasn't being very cautious and sent a bottle rocket into the open garage and set it on fire.

..it was an accident. ::)...Then we ended the evening with sparklers and we would dance around the yard with our spitting wands. Being a boy, I had a cap gun, that I would run around just being loud and noisy...bapbapbap..bapbap...the ammo/caps were a red roll with dots and you had to thread it into the gun....

My first step-father Bill, would buy the BIG , illegal, even back then, rockets and other things I don't remember the names of, Black Cats,(Which ny step brother got to set off) Stink Bombs, Roman Candles,(which never seemed to work for me, my step brother got to set them off ) ..these 'mines' that he would kinda dig a hole in the ground and .."STAND BACK" and whoosh, up it would go..... I wasn't allowed to touch, only got to see them, neatly packed in different colors. To set them off, we would drive out of the city limits, usually going to Weatherford, and set them off. ...

We weren't alone. There were many Firework worshipers who believed it their American right to set off fireworks on the 4th. There would be cars parked along the highway on both sides, trunks open with jam boxes going, portable grills,  we would set off a big rocket that would explode..then a car down the road would set off a rocket and sometimes two or three would go off at the same time ...it was quite a show...Then even that became illegal, and the State Troopers would come by and put a stop to everyone's fun....

so then we went to Six Flags, who put on shows to music, integrated to their dancing water fountains and that was a sight....

and downtown Fort Worth, would always put on a show that we could see from our backyard, even better if you climbed onto the garage roof, which was flat and where we would sunbathe sometimes...

Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on June 30, 2008, 12:27:06 pm
We used to watch the fireworks from Sixflags from the roof and years later the ones from Lone Star Park.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 01, 2008, 03:29:01 am
My sleep schedule worked me today. Went to sleep at 3am. awoke at 6am to take meds. Awoke at 10am to let Jessie in. Called the pharmacy to ensure that I had passed the 'leave a RX message'.. I did, they got it, I passed.

After Jessie left I took a nap. I had to. Every part of my body was pulling me down, insisting that I lay down. Awoke at 430 pm and finished raking the path by the side of the house. They completely destroyed the flower beds...

(http://img147.imageshack.us/img147/9508/664364238040155kc8.gif)


They also had to deal with this gate, which I feared for it's very existance for awhile there:

(http://img516.imageshack.us/img516/3587/664367097968856ya3.gif)



Then got the clippers and attacked the vines that the Tree Guys had left hanging and dying. Then I edged and mowed the front yard. Instead of sweeping, I decided to play in the water so hosed down the front porch and driveway. Washed the two front windows and feeling spunky, went to the side of the house and did that window too.

I have been entertaining thoughts of rejoining the Men's Chorus. But, I am afraid that I can't sing anymore. I can't carry a conversation for more than 3-4 minutes without losing my breath. Of course they do make allowances for those with certain disabilities who really want to sing...but I am used to being first chair Baritone...and singing solos...

then there are those chairs...I was waiting ten minutes to have my blood drawn and was already twisting and squirming in my chair....and the rehearsals can last two to three hours....and my Tux is moth eaten by now...maybe some of those holes are weed/seed burns ::)..and I couldn't fit in it anyway....

I did come across my cumberbund. bowtie, cuff links and buttons the other day...my shirt is probably yellow..all of my white shirts are yellow. They've been hanging in the closet for over 7 years.

These dang BIG ants..I think they were in some of the trees that were cut and dragged to the front and now are trying to get back to the back, via the house....instead of Elephant Walk: (oh, I could have lived in that house very well...I would have been up and down that staircase all day, I was crushed when the elephants destroyed it) I would have been at the wall with a water hose ..."here ya go"....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gi-cj0dNX0A

Instead, I've got Ant Walk....
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on July 01, 2008, 08:15:54 am
"I have been entertaining thoughts of rejoining the Men's Chorus. But, I am afraid that I can't sing anymore. I can't carry a conversation for more than 3-4 minutes without losing my breath. Of course they do make allowances for those with certain disabilities who really want to sing...but I am used to being first chair Baritone...and singing solos..." quote
.......
You know this sounds like a great idea for you.  If the chorus is anything like ours here they have associates who sell tickets and do other stuff besides sing...so maybe you could do some non singing work for one season and see how it goes...then who knows.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 01, 2008, 01:00:40 pm
Jessie won't be here today. Her other job is demanding her attention. I am entertaining the thought of just telling Frankie, who is in charge of these aides, to go ahead and process my paperwork.

I keep thinking...She has already approached me about applying. We get along very well, and as she says, you can get paid for being at home and doing what you already do...take care of Katie and the house. . I don't know how much the pay will be as there are different pay rates for different situations, but even a little would stretch what I already have. The words are already in the back of my throat, just waiting for me to utter them, the next time she comes over.

I keep thinking...I just don't want to shoot myself in the foot. My fear is Binder and Binder stated that to get approved for SSDI, I can't do ANY kind of work.

I keep thinking...I don't want to affect any of my medical services either.

I keep thinking of , my dwindling assets, and Binder states that it could take 12-24 months. I don't think I'm going to make my budget stretch that far anymore as prices have gotten ridiculous on everything. Can't find a bargain anywhere, nearby. Gas is now $4.00gal.

I keep thinking, I should have gotten a Hybrid...but, my Ranger is paid for. Ranger..this is July. I have to get it inspected...sigh...

I keep thinking....



Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on July 01, 2008, 01:16:37 pm
Jessie won't be here today. Her other job is demanding her attention. I am entertaining the thought of just telling Frankie, who is in charge of these aides, to go ahead and process my paperwork.

I keep thinking...She has already approached me about applying. We get along very well, and as she says, you can get paid for being at home and doing what you already do...take care of Katie and the house. . I don't know how much the pay will be as there are different pay rates for different situations, but even a little would stretch what I already have. The words are already in the back of my throat, just waiting for me to utter them, the next time she comes over.

I keep thinking...I just don't want to shoot myself in the foot. My fear is Binder and Binder stated that to get approved for SSDI, I can't do ANY kind of work.

I keep thinking...I don't want to affect any of my medical services either.

I keep thinking of , my dwindling assets, and Binder states that it could take 12-24 months. I don't think I'm going to make my budget stretch that far anymore as prices have gotten ridiculous on everything. Can't find a bargain anywhere, nearby. Gas is now $4.00gal.

I keep thinking, I should have gotten a Hybrid...but, my Ranger is paid for. Ranger..this is July. I have to get it inspected...sigh...

I keep thinking....





YES Ronnie, Binder & Binder is correct, if you do THIS ( for katie, and get paid for it) then you can WORK and don't need SSDI........just something to consider here...........so PLEASE don't shoot myself in the foot, being that SSDI would be your main source of Imcome, like it is for most of us here in this forum............if I somehow LOST my SSDI, my Teamsters Pension, (from my previous job) wouldn't be enough to live on with just that alone  :-[
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Jeff G on July 01, 2008, 01:26:08 pm
Hi Ronnie , I think what denb45 is saying is true . I would talk to my attorney before I made a decision . Maybe you can revisit this issue after you get approved for ssidi .
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 01, 2008, 01:26:21 pm
I hear you Dennis. I've just been thinking too much lately. And it is just a viscous circle. I keep coming back to my first thought and it goes round and I keep getting the same answer..... Redo the budget.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 01, 2008, 01:31:13 pm
Hi Ronnie , I think what denb45 is saying is true . I would talk to my attorney before I made a decision . Maybe you can revisit this issue after you get approved for ssidi .

I know. I've already talked to Binder. Reply:...you can't be able to do any type of paid work.  I'll redo the budget. I'm good with numbers, and making them work. It makes the rest of the house get mad, but, they come round when they see that it works and they see what the alternative would have been.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on July 01, 2008, 04:32:23 pm
I hear you Dennis. I've just been thinking too much lately. And it is just a viscous circle. I keep coming back to my first thought and it goes round and I keep getting the same answer..... Redo the budget.


In this messed up Economy  ??? (4 Dollar Gas & Food STICKER SHOCK) I find myself re-doing the budget each and every month, so, ronnie you're not alone.............everyone is doing THIS (whether they want to or not) it has become the norm now-a-days........even for the VERY RICH, they are feeling it too  :-[
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on July 01, 2008, 09:21:55 pm
How do they determine if the people coming to help your sister are working?

Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on July 01, 2008, 09:51:52 pm
How do they determine if the people coming to help your sister are working?

Could you maybe use your mother's name and do the work for your mom? You don't have to answer. Just hypothetically.
It was a thought.

Some persons on SSI or SSDI get paid using a family members identity or girlfriends or boyfriends who is not on SSDI. Its a tad criminal but people do it. I have no clue if it would even work in your case.

Hummmm.......I'm not sure that would even work (isn't that called double dipping the system)  ??? and GOD help you if you got caught, you would loose your SSDI, and maybe NEVER get it back again, the very ONE THING I learned about the disaibillity system (after being on it for the last 10 yrs.) is THIS: if you don't want the powers that be to EVER find out about you making extra money, just make sure, that they cannot EVER find out that info.in other words........NEVER tell a case worker/social worker or even an ASO personel ANYTHING you don't want them to know, and make DAMM sure that they cannot ever find out (if you do) cuz, they will use it against you.........TRUST NO ONE..... use your brains, and be SMART  ;D

Ronnie.........after your approved for SSDI, and you start getting paid by them, you have a 2 yrs waiting period before MEDICARE parts A, B, and D kick in, and in that 2 yrs waiting period, SSDI is watching everything you do, even when you sleep  :-[ so, be very very cafefull what you do and just who you talk to ( and what you say) in that period  ::) NEVER VOLUNTEER ANY INFO TO ANYONE  :-[ it could very well come back to bite you in the ASS!

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on July 01, 2008, 10:18:13 pm
LOL Now I want to modify my post. It was hypothetical. I'm totally not on SS. I was in the early 90's but they wont allow me back on it unless I am almost dead I suspect.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on July 01, 2008, 10:32:12 pm
LOL Now I want to modify my post. It was hypothetical. I'm totally not on SS. I was in the early 90's but they wont allow me back on it unless I am almost dead I suspect.

Form what I understand, back in 2003, G.W. BUSH changed the definition of just who gets SSDI for AIDS and who doesn't, I not sure what is changed, but I do know that you need at least a t-cell count of 200 or below, and at least 2 IO's and unable to work........as my doctor told me, he said "Look you have Full Blown AIDS, you may get better from time to time with better MEDS, but you still have AIDS, and that won't ever change, so, you are disabled, cuz AIDS has no cure" if I just had HIV and no AIDS diagnosis I wouldn't be on SSDI ( You need to have an AIDS diagnosis to get SSDI or you need some other Qualifying debilitating Condition, in my case it was AIDS)  ......If I even tried to go back to work, I would be in the same boat I was in 10 yrs. ago, after a while (3 to 6 months) I'd more than likely get Sick & Stress-out all over again, and this time I would be DEAD  ??? it just isn't worth it to me  :-[
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on July 01, 2008, 10:46:45 pm
I have 136 tcells if I remember correctly and countless OI's LOL
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on July 01, 2008, 10:55:15 pm
I have 136 tcells if I remember correctly and countless OI's LOL

 :( Oh my...........if that is correct, then you have AIDS just like I do, AIDS just doesn't go away, you will have it the rest of your life until the day you DIE, so, if your doctor has this info in your medical records ( your 136 t-cells and your countless OI's,) you should still be on SSDI, with an AIDS Diagnosis from your Doctor, if you were ever on it?.........LOL!  ???   

Ronnie are you reading this? if you just have HIV, and NO AIDS Diagnosis from your Doctor, you will not get approved for SSDI, you might be able to use your DVT to get SSDI? if it stops you from working, and is painfull to even walk around? just having HIV alone just won't make the grade for getting SSDI  ???
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 02, 2008, 02:34:28 am
:( Oh my...........if that is correct, then you have AIDS just like I do, AIDS just doesn't go away, you will have it the rest of your life until the day you DIE, so, if your doctor has this info in your medical records ( your 136 t-cells and your countless OI's,) you should still be on SSDI, with an AIDS Diagnosis from your Doctor, if you were ever on it?.........LOL!  ???   

Ronnie are you reading this? if you just have HIV, and NO AIDS Diagnosis from your Doctor, you will not get approved for SSDI, you might be able to use your DVT to get SSDI? if it stops you from working, and is painfull to even walk around? just having HIV alone just won't make the grade for getting SSDI  ???

Hi Dennis,
Thanks for all the info. MY DVT is the primary diagnosis in the SSDI application. I have Post Thrombotic Syndrome which just boils down to there is valve damage, thus causing the swelling when I am in an upright position. Nerve damage, Peripheral Neuropathy.

I can't help but believe that I will be approved ...someday. After all, Binder and Binder has been doing this for years, they only get paid their fee if I get a settlement. They must think that I qualify, otherwise, wouldn't this past year and any future endeavors on their part just be a waste of their time?

 Also, I am now tired, and sleeping all the time. After I get up, there is about a 3 hour window of activity followed by....After 3 hours, I find myself going back to sleep. And I have other issues that haven't been addressed yet...back, hip, groin pain, and something new..sharp pain in my knees after walking for awhile. . Shortness of breath. These will be addressed as the referrals are accepted and appointments are scheduled. .

I was really worried about my knees, as not only did it hurt, but the first time it happened, we were going to get our haircuts. I don't have a lift on my truck, so we have to use the manual wheelchair when we go out. I was pushing the chair up an incline on the sidewalk and sudden sharp knee pain stopped me in my tracks...

Katie had to help, which doesn't help her rotor cuff? in her shoulder. I became even more alarmed leaving and going back to the truck was downhill, and holding the chair, acting like a brake so she didn't go flying down the parking lot, the sharp pain again stopped me in my tracks.

Without a job, shortness of breath, only able to function at the most, for three hours before I have to lay down....mostly the laying down is to elevate my leg to relieve the swelling.....but once I'm horizontal....it's 'night night, lights out' 

I keep thinking.... I should no longer be considered a caregiver anymore as all I do anymore is 'buy groceries and cook em'. Mostly sitting in a chair at the stove....I need a long legged stool....I really need a cook... :D



Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 02, 2008, 02:58:42 am
How do they determine if the people coming to help your sister are working?

Could you maybe use your mother's name and do the work for your mom? You don't have to answer. Just hypothetically.
It was a thought.

Some persons on SSI or SSDI get paid using a family members identity or girlfriends or boyfriends who is not on SSDI. Its a tad criminal but people do it. I have no clue if it would even work in your case.

Hi Wendy,
I have heard the aides talk of this before. If they have a doctor appointment or are sick, they will have someone who stands in for them so their client doesn't go without care.  but I couldn't do it because then Katie wouldn't get what she needs....She uses a bedpan during the night and empties it into a bucket by the bed. She takes a water pill for her edema which makes her pee..a lot. Sometimes, she dreams she is peeing, and she is.

She has developed a plan involving chucks and diapers and towels. this keeps it contained ,unless she has a bad night, which will require a complete change of bed linens. My washer/dryer are used daily.

Help transferring from her chair to the shower bench and back. Strange, exotic, feminine activities, that only women know about because I refuse to go there....she's my sister....

I worked for TDMHR(Texas Department of Mental Health and Retardation) for 7 years and had to do all kinds of unsavory 'job duties, classified in the small print as 'other duties as assigned' ....and I did them...but for some reason....I can't go there with my sister...IF it came to be a life/health threatening situation and I was the only one there...maybe....

Thankfully, the aides do the majority of the heavy housework...like vacuuming, pulling the piss soaked  sheets and blankets and pad off the bed...dragging the trash bag full of 'pissy' diapers to the trash bin in the garage. ..I am unable to do this anymore....after 3-4 minutes of heavy activity, I'm gasping for air, my leg turns into a beehive and throbs and I have to go elevate.....it sucks...Changing bed linens and vacuming is HARD work..not to mention that h-e-a-v-y- bag of piss soaked diapers....uuwwggchh..the smell is bad enough, but I can't stress enough how heavy that thing is...

Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 02, 2008, 03:15:41 am
I have 136 tcells if I remember correctly and countless OI's LOL

I have one Dr who has remarked that a DVT could be caused by HIV. Especially, since I have had HIV for 15 years. I don't know how they could test for that, or if there is a study on it. But, I keep bringing it up..

For some reason, no one seems to want to say that everything that has been 'falling apart' is a direct cause of HIV. They will say, "maybe. could be' but not..'it is" and I'm not good with this 'Dr/Patient relationship' thing as I haven't been sick or been to a doctor in 7 years. Up until last year, I thought that I was going to confound them all and live forever with all my bits intact and working.

I'm trying to adjust my 'hardwired' brain to acceptance...this is not a dream..I'm not on stage playing a part....this is a new reality..I cannot do what I  did at this same time last year....I have to do something different...
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on July 02, 2008, 12:02:15 pm
When I first got on disability in maybe 1994 I was extremely underweight about 50 lbs lighter than I am now, I had a lymph gland in my neck the size of a ping pong ball and I had a whopping 3 cells. They gave me a AIDS diagnosis in 94.

I went back to work in 1998 I think. My memory kinda stinks at times so bear with me. My husband who has since passed was unable to work and thought that if I went to work we would be able to have a better income than both of us being on disability.

Me being the sheep I was back then I went to work. Which made absolutely no difference in our income because the more money I made the less they would give him in disability.
I was fairly healthy for several years and have gradually gone back down. I stupidly took a unsupervised drug holiday and my tcell count got even worse. I'm working on getting better now.

I am working on the average of 2 hours a day usually 7 days a week. Its just enough to pay my bills. Fortunately I am slightly educated and am able to have a job where I don't have to bust my ass for minimum wage and it helps that I am not a high maintenance type girl. Its not a labor type job its more mental than anything.
I am sick everyday but I deal with it. Like I said I'm working on getting better. LOL

I had to Google DVT. this is what I found.

http://www.thebody.com/Forums/AIDS/Meds/Archive/SideEffects/Q159684.html (http://www.thebody.com/Forums/AIDS/Meds/Archive/SideEffects/Q159684.html)

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11450780 (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11450780)

Pretty interesting stuff.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 02, 2008, 12:03:18 pm
In the past 12 years, I have been before the wall of:  Katie is my sister, and needs help. Crossing over,  I've had to shut down my brain and function on auto-pilot, on several occasions.

Katie used to go to water therapy. MITS would show up at the 'butt crack' of dawn and she had to be ready and at the curb, waiting. I was still working and my days started at 4am.  I had a factory outside Lockheed with 6 buildings, 4 shifts, open 24/7 and those men would empty my machines. Sometimes, I would restock them again on my way home, at the end of the day.

At water therapy, the pool water became contaminated and she got Hepatitis. It was not diagnosed right away as in order for Medicaid to pay for a specific result on her blood work, you had to ask for it. She kept feeling tired and not wanting to do anything. She was finally diagnosed with Hepatitis in its final stages at the hospital when her liver started to shut down.

When she returned home, we did not have an aide. She was on Inferon Treatment and had no strength. I had to give her bird baths, and do the 'changing of the bed, with her still in it...."roll over, hold it...ok, now roll over here"..

potty time was the worst....I was her third arm, and my memories only go as far as seeing this ass, and a crack and thirty wipes in this hand that seemed to be attached to the end of my arm...

During the remodel for her new bathroom, We had to move her potty chair to the Dining Room. I had to stand in the doorway, playing 'guard and shield' as she did her business with all these guys coming and going. I had just been released from the hospital for my DVT and was supposed to be on bed rest. I'm certain between the two of us, we gave the work crew plenty of memories, her whizzing around in her chair, and me stumping around on what appeared to be a red log that the doctors insisted was mine, though I was not so sure.

I was convinced that some Dr Frankenstein had replaced my beautiful leg with someone else's....

A week after the remodel started....on a Friday,  Dan, the man and crew have called stating that the work van has broken down and they won't be here today, but will be here Monday...oh great...ronnie assimilates and accepts the broken promise...*oh, you'll have a working toilet by Friday*...

after our first episode of having no toilet for Katie to potty in..I have already enforced a high fiber diet for Katie as I am the one who has to be her 'third arm'...

."concentrate"..."what?"..."concentrate....turn you thoughts inward and let your mind envision snakes and rocks"..."snakes and rocks?"..."what are you talking about?

...your poop..it needs to be rocks(hard and dry) or snakes(long and firm)..currently you are giving me wet and runny cow patties...this is unacceptable as cleanup is a chore with wet and runny...It sticks to the bed pan and I have to pretend its a diaper in the toilet,  but the bed pan is too stiff and wide..so I have to use the toilet brush on it and still it doesn't want to give up the offering, driving me to the sink and running hot water until its finally clean and then,

I still have to be a third arm....I am talking *rather ranting* to Mom that I have now crossed over into the realm considered 'above and beyond' * I have seen and done more than a brother should be expected to do and have serious doubts that even some husbands would do

 Mom has called regarding some of the pictures I have taken of THE REMODEL and I am venting because Katie is not giving snakes and rocks and she is laughing and says..do you use PAM....non-stick cooking oil spray...it will make that cow patty slide on out with hardly any effort...Mom has been down this road before....
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 02, 2008, 12:12:27 pm
When I first got on disability in maybe 1994 I was extremely underweight about 50 lbs lighter than I am now, I had a lymph gland in my neck the size of a ping pong ball and I had a whopping 3 cells. They gave me a AIDS diagnosis in 94.

I went back to work in 1998 I think. My memory kinda stinks at times so bear with me. My husband who has since passed was unable to work and thought that if I went to work we would be able to have a better income than both of us being on disability.

Me being the sheep I was back then I went to work. Which made absolutely no difference in our income because the more money I made the less they would give him in disability.
I was fairly healthy for several years and have gradually gone back down. I stupidly took a unsupervised drug holiday and my tcell count got even worse. I'm working on getting better now.

I am working on the average of 2 hours a day usually 7 days a week. Its just enough to pay my bills. Fortunately I am slightly educated and am able to have a job where I don't have to bust my ass for minimum wage and it helps that I am not a high maintenance type girl. Its not a labor type job its more mental than anything.
I am sick everyday but I deal with it. Like I said I'm working on getting better. LOL

I had to Google DVT. this is what I found.

http://www.thebody.com/Forums/AIDS/Meds/Archive/SideEffects/Q159684.html (http://www.thebody.com/Forums/AIDS/Meds/Archive/SideEffects/Q159684.html)

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11450780 (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11450780)

Pretty interesting stuff.

Thank you Wendy,
I have printed it out to show to my Dr.  Fortunately, my next appointment is with Dr D who first made the statement. I also took note of the fact that just having HIV and not HIV meds were considered as I was not on meds when I had the DVT. ... I was still HIV+....

Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on July 02, 2008, 12:12:58 pm
umm yeah, I don't know if I'd want to take care of my family member either.
My husband had a stroke and was incontinent for the last two years of his life and I was forever cleaning poop off of him and everything else. But that was my husband not my brother.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on July 02, 2008, 12:52:51 pm
When I first got on disability in maybe 1994 I was extremely underweight about 50 lbs lighter than I am now, I had a lymph gland in my neck the size of a ping pong ball and I had a whopping 3 cells. They gave me a AIDS diagnosis in 94.

I went back to work in 1998 I think. My memory kinda stinks at times so bear with me. My husband who has since passed was unable to work and thought that if I went to work we would be able to have a better income than both of us being on disability.

Me being the sheep I was back then I went to work. Which made absolutely no difference in our income because the more money I made the less they would give him in disability.
I was fairly healthy for several years and have gradually gone back down. I stupidly took a unsupervised drug holiday and my tcell count got even worse. I'm working on getting better now.

I am working on the average of 2 hours a day usually 7 days a week. Its just enough to pay my bills. Fortunately I am slightly educated and am able to have a job where I don't have to bust my ass for minimum wage and it helps that I am not a high maintenance type girl. Its not a labor type job its more mental than anything.
I am sick everyday but I deal with it. Like I said I'm working on getting better. LOL

I had to Google DVT. this is what I found.

http://www.thebody.com/Forums/AIDS/Meds/Archive/SideEffects/Q159684.html (http://www.thebody.com/Forums/AIDS/Meds/Archive/SideEffects/Q159684.html)

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11450780 (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11450780)

Pretty interesting stuff.
     It's almost imposisble and VERY DIFFICULT now-a-days to even get SSDI for having AIDS anymore (with all the new MEDS, and most People don't even get IO's all they much anymore) if they take care of themselves, but never-the-less, I still have AIDS, nothing I can do about that, but, take care of myself, and take my meds, I know, that sooner or later, I will probably DIE due to complications of AIDS, I also know that this is envitable.....
     
      Going back to work for me, just wouldn't work, and after 10 yrs. of not being in the work force, all that would be out there for me would be a low-paying 5 to 8 dollar-an-hour job, that most people can't even live on TODAY, I make more imcome on Disiabillity SSDI & my Teamsters Pension than I would working a min-wage-job.................now, if I could find a non-stressfull job, that would pay me MORE than what I make on disiibility, HELL I would go for it in a heart-beat, but I know the reality of that, just isn't gonna happen for me, so, I'm better OFF being on disibility and living out my life ( whatever's left of my life, and FOR ME, I have come to terms with this, so, I don't have a problem with any of THIS...............

Ronnie, I hope the best for you, and I do hope that you get what's due you (whatever you think that is) and TRUST ME, the amount of your AWARD is NEVER really what you think it will be, it may be a lot LOWER than you even think  ???.............Wendy, I commend you for doing what your doing ( I wish I could do what your doing) and I do hope that you contiune to take good care of yourself, so, that you DON'T end up being very sick, and back on SSDI again  ;) I always tell a lotta young people I talk to about AIDS, I tell them that AIDS is NO PARTY, and being on SSDI, isn't all what it's cracked up to be.............making only a 3rd of what you use to make is NO PICNIC AT ALL..................
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on July 02, 2008, 01:22:15 pm
I likely should be on disability. I'm sure my health would improve quicker. But they aren't going to give it backto me until I'm almost completely dead. I've been rejected twice since 2001. I haven't tried in several years.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on July 02, 2008, 01:32:14 pm
I likely should be on disability. I'm sure my health would improve quicker. But they aren't going to give it backto me until I'm almost completely dead. I've been rejected twice since 2001. I haven't tried in several years.

Like I said before...... It's almost imposisble and VERY DIFFICULT now-a-days to even get SSDI for having AIDS anymore, most DON'T even get AIDS anymore, but they remian just HIV+ that's pretty much the way it is now  ;D and once you loose your SSDI, good luck even getting it back, I know a handfull of people just like you wendy, that are working themselves into being sick all over again, I only know of VERY FEW that were able to even get thier SSDI back, and they had to FIGHT almost 3 yrs before they even got it back  ???
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 02, 2008, 01:40:45 pm
I likely should be on disability. I'm sure my health would improve quicker. But they aren't going to give it backto me until I'm almost completely dead. I've been rejected twice since 2001. I haven't tried in several years.

This is why I went with Binder and Binder. There is so much paper work involved that I was completely lost.

Why not call Binder and see what they say? It's a free consultation and they may know something we are not aware of to get past that rejection...

It's like with my TAXES....For years I sent in the EZ form, and got a modest refund. . Then I became self employed and still sent in the EZ forms, and still got a modest refund. . Then I discovered my Tax man and suddenly, I was getting a GREAT refund because he knew things I did not.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on July 02, 2008, 01:45:10 pm
I'm still hanging onto the idea that I can continue to work and everything will be peachy.

 ;D LOL when I absolutely need to I will
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on July 02, 2008, 01:53:40 pm
This is why I went with Binder and Binder. There is so much paper work involved that I was completely lost.

Why not call Binder and see what they say? It's a free consultation and they may know something we are not aware of to get past that rejection...

It's like with my TAXES....For years I sent in the EZ form, and got a modest refund. . Then I became self employed and still sent in the EZ forms, and still got a modest refund. . Then I discovered my Tax man and suddenly, I was getting a GREAT refund because he knew things I did not.

I was lucky back in 1998, when I applied for SSDI, I got it the 1st time , it only took 3 months for it to go thur......not to mention the fact that I knew a lotta people who worked for Social Security Admin back then ( I used to work for them form 1987 to 1989) I was a GS-12 Securtiy Police officer for the GSA back then  ;D........and Yes I had 832-PC ( that means I had the powers of arrest in the State of Calif.) as a PEACE OFFICER, later on I went and worked for the County Court House ( I was a Bailif/Deputy Sherrif) form 1989 to 1998 when I went on SSDI
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on July 02, 2008, 02:47:08 pm
Same here when I applied initially.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on July 03, 2008, 10:25:10 am
"In this messed up Economy   (4 Dollar Gas & Food STICKER SHOCK) I find myself re-doing the budget each and every month, so, ronnie you're not alone.............everyone is doing THIS (whether they want to or not) it has become the norm now-a-days........even for the VERY RICH, they are feeling it too"  quote  denb

Well...thats a qualified "feeling it"...  you know.  Cause those really BIG ticket homes are still selling:

The average price for the top 10% of houses sold last year in Laguna dipped to $8.1 million, vs. $8.2 million in 2006. Prices at the top echelon there ranged from $3.7 million to $31.5 million last year.
The average price in the top 10% of Newport houses dipped to $6.3 million, down from $6.5 million, with prices ranging from $3.7 million to just under $20 million.
In Laguna Beach, 30 homes sold in the top 10%, up from 28 in 2006.
In Newport Beach, 95 homes in that price category sold, up from 55 the year before.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on July 03, 2008, 11:13:12 am
"In this messed up Economy   (4 Dollar Gas & Food STICKER SHOCK) I find myself re-doing the budget each and every month, so, ronnie you're not alone.............everyone is doing THIS (whether they want to or not) it has become the norm now-a-days........even for the VERY RICH, they are feeling it too"  quote  denb

Well...thats a qualified "feeling it"...  you know.  Cause those really BIG ticket homes are still selling:

The average price for the top 10% of houses sold last year in Laguna dipped to $8.1 million, vs. $8.2 million in 2006. Prices at the top echelon there ranged from $3.7 million to $31.5 million last year.
The average price in the top 10% of Newport houses dipped to $6.3 million, down from $6.5 million, with prices ranging from $3.7 million to just under $20 million.
In Laguna Beach, 30 homes sold in the top 10%, up from 28 in 2006.
In Newport Beach, 95 homes in that price category sold, up from 55 the year before.


I dunno Bear60 I NEVER made more than 50K a yr. I suppose that makes me low imcome (that was all I made a yr when I worked) Now I only make a 3rd of that on a Pension and SSDI...........I really wouldn't know, as I have NEVER been RICH, and will NEVER Be........here's a thought, I guess I'll DIE Poor, so, that is a fact of life for almost all of us now-a-days  ??? but thanks for the info, it's nice to know (just how the otherhalf of America's RICH live) who knew!........I sure didn't...i do know THIS, the average single, married or family households can even afford the pay their mortgage
and are losing everything they worked for all their life, it's a shame isn't it.............there are more POOR people in this country than there are RICH
if you ask me, there's something REALLY WRONG HERE!
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on July 03, 2008, 11:27:56 am
Yea ...denb i hear ya..... i just try to keep my head above water and maintain all my bills PAID. Anything beyond that is .......fluff.  Fluff includes eating out and buying DVDS and having this computer.
But the truly RICH do not stop being truly RICH and they are snapping up those bargains in Laguna and Newport .......for a bargain at 6.3 million ( marked down from 6.5million.).  They dont care about gas prices....or about whether the cost of health care is unfair.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on July 03, 2008, 11:34:56 am
Yea ...denb i hear ya..... i just try to keep my head above water and maintain all my bills PAID. Anything beyond that is .......fluff.  Fluff includes eating out and buying DVDS and having this computer.
But the truly RICH do not stop being truly RICH and they are snapping up those bargains in Laguna and Newport .......for a bargain at 6.3 million ( marked down from 6.5million.).  They dont care about gas prices....or about whether the cost of health care is unfair.


LOL! yeah same here, for me, I 'm glad I don't have ANYMORE Credit Card Debt, it makes me save more without paying out all that $$$ in interest
Here's what I learned: "it's not what you make, but it's how much you can save" I'm a tight-wad, and have become VERY CHEAP, I had to 10 yrs. ago when I went on SSDI................The Rich don't worry about what things cost, they aren't really affected like WE ARE by all of this MESS.........
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 03, 2008, 12:17:19 pm
LOL! yeah same here, for me, I 'm glad I don't have ANYMORE Credit Card Debt, it makes me save more without paying out all that $$$ in interest
Here's what I learned: "it's not what you make, but it's how much you can save" I'm a tight-wad, and have become VERY CHEAP, I had to 10 yrs. ago when I went on SSDI................The Rich don't worry about what things cost, they aren't really affected like WE ARE by all of this MESS.........


Credit Card Debt.....I can't believe all the money I just gave away all my life to credit cards and their interest rates. After being diagnosed, I ..went crazy, and started spending and maxing out all my cards...well, I had been told I was dying, what did I care? I wasn't going to be here to answer the phone or door when they came due.

Then, I woke up one day, and I was still here. The bills started coming in, and I was still here and having to deal with them...dang it.

When I became self employed, I worked 15hrs a day 7 days a week. I didn't have time to spend money. the balances started to reach lows I hadn't seen in a long time...such as the day I had received the card.

I became obsessed with the idea of becoming 'debt free'.

I started making more than the minimum payment by 10 dollars. Then making double payments. When a card was paid off, called and cancelled it. Started to pay cash for everything. This was the hardest thing I did. After charging and writing checks for years, I discovered that most busy businesses, like the grocery store, don't like it when you pull out a wad of money to pay for your purchases. 

I have counted money for a long time as manager of businesses that took in a lot of money and can count out thousands of dollars for a deposit in a minute. I have discovered that 99.9% of todays cashiers can't. I have witnessed a lot of interesting money counting techniques over the past couple of years. Some act like they don't even know what they are holding in their hands.

One woman must have taken 10 minutes just to count out 50 ones. I had already counted them out with her watching in less than a minute,  but she was going to reverify. I was the only one in line. then there were 2 people in line. Then there was a line to the middle of the store.

By the time she got through, they were all in a pretty festive mood, as was I. As I walked away, she made a gesture and comment that it was my fault that they had  had to wait such a long time. I bit my tongue, but never went through a line where she was cashiering.

I go to this store, a lot, and am known and one day her line was empty and I was in a long line. She beckoned me over and I refused. She questioned me and I reminded her that she didn't like cash payment and the long lines it created. However, the line would not have grown if she had known how to count money in the first place.

And then, after 3 years, I pulled up my accounts and I was ...debt free.  I had succeeded in paying off those cards. Then came the surprise. Two people can live 'ok' on a little money.

I made myself sick, when out of curiosity, I added up just how much money, I would have if I hadn't been blindly handing it over each month to creditors.

I helped my nephew stop smoking. He wasn't working and was at my door with head down and hands out. I refused to support his cigarette habit. I sacrificed five ones to make my point to him. All you're doing is burning money. When he wanted a cigarette, I would roll up a dollar and light it. He got the point. Don't ask Uncle ronnie for money for cigarettes.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on July 03, 2008, 01:04:23 pm
I helped my nephew stop smoking. He wasn't working and was at my door with head down and hands out. I refused to support his cigarette habit. I sacrificed five ones to make my point to him. All you're doing is burning money. When he wanted a cigarette, I would roll up a dollar and light it. He got the point. Don't ask Uncle ronnie for money for cigarettes.
..................................................
Thats the MOST fierce way to help someone stop smoking.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on July 03, 2008, 04:45:56 pm

I started making more than the minimum payment by 10 dollars. Then making double payments. When a card was paid off, called and cancelled it.

Ronnie..........did you know when you cancelled all of the cards when you paid them off, it lowered your credit score? credit card compannies don't like that very much ,and,it will effect your credit score, they don't like it when they can't make any interest off of you ....if you aren't really worried about such things, and , if your like me ( I pay cash for just about everything) than it really doesn't matter much what the CC Compannies think? I still have all my CC's , but, I just CANNOT make myself use them anymore..................

     IT'S A TRAP, and very easy to fall into it, I'm sure that many of us have been there and done this before, but, it's sure nice to pay cash for just about anything you want ( my Ford Truck  blew it's auto transmission) 6 months ago, and it cost me 3,500 to get it repaired, so I paid in cash, and the people at the FORD place looked at me like I WAS CARZY, when they had to count it out in 10's and 20's, it was too funny, I laughed at them all the way home, it made me FEEL GOOD to do that to them, and not have to put it on a Credit Card, I mean, they already got me for the 3K, so, I figured what the HELL  ;D my otherhalf Bob said that it was kinda RUDE to do that, but he got a chuckle out of it too, He HATES FORD DEALERSHIPS!! he use to work for one  :)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on July 03, 2008, 05:03:25 pm
The only credit card I have is for work and I dont pay that bill. The boss does.
If I need to buy something for me its either cash or debit card.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on July 03, 2008, 05:05:52 pm
The only credit card I have is for work and I dont pay that bill. The boss does.
If I need to buy something for me its either cash or debit card.

Yep, cash or debit card for me as well  ;D you go girl  :-* good for you
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 04, 2008, 01:51:02 am
Ronnie..........did you know when you cancelled all of the cards when you paid them off, it lowered your credit score? credit card compannies don't like that very much ,and,it will effect your credit score, they don't like it when they can't make any interest off of you ....if you aren't really worried about such things, and , if your like me ( I pay cash for just about everything) than it really doesn't matter much what the CC Compannies think? I still have all my CC's , but, I just CANNOT make myself use them anymore..................

     IT'S A TRAP, and very easy to fall into it, I'm sure that many of us have been there and done this before, but, it's sure nice to pay cash for just about anything you want ( my Ford Truck  blew it's auto transmission) 6 months ago, and it cost me 3,500 to get it repaired, so I paid in cash, and the people at the FORD place looked at me like I WAS CARZY, when they had to count it out in 10's and 20's, it was too funny, I laughed at them all the way home, it made me FEEL GOOD to do that to them, and not have to put it on a Credit Card, I mean, they already got me for the 3K, so, I figured what the HELL  ;D my otherhalf Bob said that it was kinda RUDE to do that, but he got a chuckle out of it too, He HATES FORD DEALERSHIPS!! he use to work for one  :)

Yeah, the Credit Score goes down, but it's only temporary. In December my Credit Score was at 810. I canceled two cards and it went down to 797, for one month. Then it rose again to 802, where it has remained since. It is also based on the payment history of what you have, regardless of what you've canceled. I pay, in full, and early.

I've only kept the cards that have NO ANNUAL FEE. I also have several that have no credit limit...

These will come into play when I decide to travel again, as usually credit cards are required for airline reservations, hotel reservations and car rentals

For now, it's cash and debit. I love not owing anybody. I have paid on credit cards since I was 19. My first credit card was from Sears. Then Montgomery Ward. For some reason, when you became a college student, you got put on some list, and offers came pouring in the mail.

I remember when Visa/Mastercard offers started coming.....so did I. ::)   I maxed those babies out in New Orleans, Pensacola, Atlanta, Hattiesburg, ..I was constantly cruising, and my bags were never unpacked.

For years, I was paying for good times I didn't remember. All I remember is working my ass off to make those payments.

I also remember being a victim of Identity Theft. I had gone crazy on drugs and was in a drug house, acting crazier than the other druggies. This is where I also believe I was infected with HIV.  My family. actually Katie, (when she could still walk and had a life)  finally rescued me from the drug house. I was sent to a Drug Rehab Program in Wichita Falls called S.A.R.P (Substance Abuse Rehabilitation Program.) This was a concerted effort by Katie and Mom.

and here we go down memory lane...

I am in the Halfway House. I have not been a very good 'druggie'. I have already flunked the 4 week program and had been loaded on the Greyhound bus using the second half of my round trip ticket.

I was moody and depressed. I would just sit in a chair and mope. Staff would slide into view with smiling faces trying to motivate me. They are considered counselors, yet after several meetings I have determined they are idiots.

They have never done drugs and their only exposure to drugs are from the addicts in this house they have come to work in. They ask questions and when you answer they only stare in horror not understanding how anyone could ever get trapped on a 'dark, foggy road in a land of 'perpetual night' and had apparently taken that fork in the road willingly.

I had been foolish. I had not listened to the voices of common sense that had been gently implanted in my being through songs, stories, and the  lectures of those who loved, protected, and guided me, Mother and Mom.

 I had lost everything and did not know if I could start over again, now that I was a marked man. The scar on my arm had left a shape... if looked at from one angle it was the shape of a wolfs head, and from another angle the shape of a gun.  It was also slightly purple and the hair would never grow there again.

The doctor was glad that it had healed over at all stating that a wound that large usually has trouble closing. The counselors would state that I would have no problem as the only way anyone would know that it had been caused by drugs was if I told them. They had seen chemical burns before and technically it was a chemical burn from the drano. The drano.

I was still in shock that someone or ones had actually tried to kill me. I was supposed to be dead. Again the counselors were concerned that I was not exhibiting any angry emotion about this. They considered me a sleeping volcano waiting to erupt. The only emotion to it was that I now considered myself disfigured, which they again were quick to assure me was a misconception on my part as they considered me to be quite attractive. *I did not see what they saw when I looked in the mirror.*

 I had suffered from 'sheer dumb luck'...or I was 'blessed'...as my body showed no signs of the abuse I had put it through, except for the scar..."wear a long sleeve shirt", was advice, given by some.

One day, the phone in the kitchen rang and someone shouted out my name that I had a call. Curious, I answered..".hello?"...."ronnie?".."yes"....
"this is District Attorney (blah)...and I need to see you ASAP".

He would not tell what it was in regard to and I got his address and advised the House Parent I had an appointment, so they wouldn't think I had run off and give my bed away as there was a waiting list to get in the place...(there are apparently a lot of drug addicts)...

I was extremely nervous and called Mom and she said what she always says but I needed to hear it....just do it and before you know it, it's over. I kept trying to think of what I could have done to warrant his call and could think of nothing...they already knew I had done drugs....I had not actually sold them, just used them...

I do have hazy days, maybe weeks and I shuddered to think if I had done violence of any kind acting in a blackout.....upon entering his office and identifying myself, he pulled out a large, bulging , manila envelope with my name on it and emptied its contents on his desk. "Are these yours?"...

I focused and noticed that they were checks and they were from an account when I lived in Dallas that had been closed. There were also credit card receipts. "Yes, they are mine, but, not mine, I did not write these checks or make those purchases".

 Suddenly, the tension in the air lessened and he smiled and said that he already knew that. He slid some photos across the desk and asked if I recognized them. "Yes, that's Paul, Terry, Blake."..they had stolen my checks and credit cards during one of my four day sleeps and made fake Id's and there were now four ronnies in the DFW Metroplex.

Three of them were running amuck and writing checks and charging goods like a Nuclear Holocaust was scheduled....and I was dizzy and did not understand...".how can someone write a check on a closed account?"

...well, its takes a day for a check to clear, a day for the bank to process, a day for them to determine if the funds are available, a day to contact said store that it had bounced.....in the meantime they had gone to another store and blah, blah, blah..

Fortunately, he had already known that I was not involved as I had been in Wichita Falls under close supervision in a drug rehab program when the crimes were perpetrated, and they had undercover agents working the stores (who did not ID me) and there were the surveillance cameras....

.once again I was a victim of 'sheer dumb luck ..or being blessed...He had me sign an affidavit of forgery, gave me a copy to use for the creditors and I was free.

 I returned to the Halfway House and called Mom. After explaining what had transpired she did not seem surprised and acted like she had known it would go that way all along...(had she been using the church again?).....

Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on July 04, 2008, 11:04:45 am

and here we go down memory lane...



Good lord MAN  ??? you sound like you've been thur it,  just when you think you can trust someone as a friend(s), later you find out that they somehow screwed you outta something, but, you don't find that out until yrs later (I think you know what I'm talking) as for the Identity Theft, that happened to me before, ( it was done by one of my old lovers that is now passed away), he stole checks, credit cards and some of my GUNS, the Firearms were used in the commission a crime (a Felony), but being a Peace officer, it wasn't hard to find out just who was behind all of this.

       It was so bad, (the Stolen Credit cards, that were used) some of them were given to other people and used by them, back then, and even tho a lotta of it was FRAUD, it was very hard to prove, so, I had no choice but to file Bankruptcy Chapter 7 under the advice of my Attorney (he told me that it was the only way outta this mess) and 20 yrs ago you had no choice, like you have today with dealing with Identity Theft, so, for 10 yrs. I had no credit at all............Ronnie, if you know that you didn't do any of this, then you had nothing to worry about in the 1st place, that's why things worked out for the better ;D............Ronnie, I commend you for pulling yourself outta the dark depths of drug addiction, if you hadn't, you wouldn't be here today............GOOD FOR YOU!
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on July 04, 2008, 11:14:54 am
Jeezus....memory lane aint what it used to be... is it.  Full of pot holes and trash. Ah well.  The older we get the more memory lane fills up with all this stuff.
Thats ok Ron we still like you memory lane and all!
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on July 04, 2008, 11:41:53 am
Jeezus....memory lane aint what it used to be... is it.  Full of pot holes and trash. Ah well.  The older we get the more memory lane fills up with all this stuff.
Thats ok Ron we still like you memory lane and all!

Yes, and a trip down memory lane, can be very painful for some of us, who wishes to recall and share any of it  ::)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 04, 2008, 12:47:44 pm
It had been one year. July 4, 2007. On this day last year I was admitted to the hospital with a DVT in my right leg. The blood clot was from ankle to hip and was breaking up, shooting through my heart and filling both lungs.

It has been one year that I have survived another death experience. ..

Once again, Mom and Katie were there for me. I don't know what I would do if not for my family. I have read others who are afraid or not wanting to disclose to their family for fear of rejection. I too, was afraid of rejection, but being a victim of sheer dumb luck...or possibly being blessed..have had some of my BEST thinking thrown back in my face by my family giving me nothing but love, help and support:

They may not like some of my life decisions, or some of the paths to enlightenment that I have taken, but, they have let me learn from my mistakes. This is probably why they are there for me, because I did learn..."well, that was interesting....now I've done that, don't need to ever do it again"..


So, I have had several 'close calls' with death, and have had a few conversations with DEATH ....but through sheer dumb luck....or possibly being blessed:

  I know...I know..touchy subject..sometimes volatile....but ...After my father was killed, when I was four years old, and the court was deciding on settlement and Mom was doing whatever needed to be done for us to survive...I have vague memories of what would probably be considered daycare centers today..

...first memory is Father Joseph and the Nuns. We would be in a classroom and learning/memorizing prayers and the Rosary (my Mom collects Rosaries up to today)...and taking cathecism...and though I don't remember it I was an altar boy...I know because there is a large picture in a photo album and there I am in a black robe with white and my hands held together in prayer and another pic with a group of children and Katie and I are in the lineup and we're holding little white bibles...

.I also remember the church would have 'fairs' and there was a machine that would blow colored ping pong balls up and then you did something and a ball would drop and depending on the color depended what you won and I won a stuffed black lamb once and I took it EVERYWHERE with me including class and when it was time for recess I would make it comfy on my desk and give it a kiss and  the teacher would be the only witness to this and shake her head for the 'poor boy who had lost his daddy'....

.I also remember that when you were called on to recite your Hail Mary's and you got it wrong you would get a smart smack on the palm of your hand with a ruler..apparently the 'poor boy who had lost his father' gig did not work on messed up Hail Mary's.....don't mess with the Nuns....

and then we stopped going to church as Mom was angry with God..and everyone was shocked but she said it was alright because he gets mad at us too....and then Mom was ostracized from the catholic church because she married Bill,  who was a divorced man..and apparently God did not approve of do overs...

and we all had baptism certificates...which meant you were not only baptized but we were given a name of a saint and I was amazed at how many saints there are in this world and I was baptized after Saint Ronald (who I'd never heard of) and Katie(Kathrine) was baptized after Saint Catherine(who I'd never heard of) and Terry after Saint Theresa(which sounded saintly)  and Mom was baptized after Saint Helen (so I knew that there must not be a Saint Gail) ...

and though Mom was ostracized she would still call upon god in times of trouble and get an answer, such as the time I was in the hospital with my DVT/PE and had been there for 2 days and still in no room so had no phone(except my cell phone which I squirreled away in my pocket for emergencies and turned off to conserve the battery..

well Mom couldn't get any satisfactory answers from STAFF of any kind on my condition and she would not leave the hospital until she had at least SEEN me to bring peace to her mind and everyone kept saying no visitors,

so she went to the Hospital Chaplain and I don't know what she said to him but I'm laying in my bed, of a lot of beds, as we were lined up against walls with pieces of paper taped to walls as 'Wall A' and 'Wall B'.. etc ..and I was on 'Wall S' and I am flat on my back with my leg swollen to three times it size and was just in HELL not knowing what was wrong with me or if I was actually dying..

  and trying to be as quiet as possible not wanting to draw any demons attention in this hellhole..

and then this man is leaning over me and I see the cross and he's asking if I'm ronnie and I say yes and he moves aside... and there is Mom ...and we cry and hug and I feel loved...and the demon nurse is having fits and saying "no visitors allowed in here" and the Chaplain pulls her aside and makes her leave us alone...so

...the church may have lost Mom but she still knows how to use the church....

 and I got in this drug  predicament when I became a bartender and  met Terry, who seemed to have a never ending supply of meth....and he needed a place to live, so I invited him to live with me...

Things were getting out of control at the bar..Terry continued doing a brisk drug business out of my apartment while I was at work and I supplied him with a steady stream of customers..".Terry in?" .."yes"..."thanks"...and off they would go..

living next door to a bar was the perfect setup for a drug dealer and Terry was happy...I started to drink heavily and soon I would wake up in my bed with my clothes half off and not remembering how I had got there and my pockets would be empty...

this started to become a pattern and then Buddy and Billy Ray pulled me aside one day and said...ronnie...its gotta stop...you are a nice guy..and we like you ..but you have fallen in with some bad people who are using you and its gotta stop....I just gave them a blank stare not knowing what they were talking about , but thanking them for their concern..

well when it didn't stop they took action as a thriving drug house not only attracts drug addicts, it also attracts the police, so Buddy and Billy Ray handed me my walking papers *for my own good* and I found myself jobless and fixing to be homeless and Terry had found another place to live, with Paul...

and Paul took 'mercy' on me and invited me to live with him too..until I got back on my feet....but who goes looking for lost feet when you're living in a drug house?

...so instead of looking for work, I became a part of the drug house.. I would clean (because on speed I was 'the white tornado' and greet people at the door and basically directed the flow from the front door down the hall to Paul's bedroom (where business transactions took place) and then out the door again. (let's keep it moving here....)

On Fiday nights the front yard would look like a parking lot..and I would stay awake for 7 days and then when my body couldn't take anymore I would pass out and sleep for 4 days...and then do it all again.

Now, as you can imagine all this activity in a residential neighborhood drew attention..and the it drew the wrong attention...The DEA(Drug Enforcement Agency) started to watch the house and Paul and Terry started to expand their drug clientele base from weekend users to big time wannabe drug lords and things started to really get scary..

nd one day I looked out the window and my car was gone and when I asked about it was told that one of the dealers needed a car to get some drugs and I had been asleep and they gave her my keys and she would be back in a minute...

and two days passed with me asking about my car...and then three and I got snippity and gave THE ULTIMATUM that if my car was not in the driveway by tomorrow that I was going to call the police...

and they laughed because I was in a drug house and I was using drugs and I would just be arrested for being stupid...well the next day my car was not there and I called the police...and they knocked on the door..and the house cleared itself , instantly..addicts were flying out back doors and windows...and I opened the door and gave them my info and they kept asking if I wanted to go downtown to give a proper report and I said "no" and they left..

.now the DEA knew Granny Massey and had contacted her about my situation as they knew I was Katie's brother and Bobby was Granny Massey's only grandson and owning a motel and night club..Masseys Club 21...everyone knew Bobby and Katie and everywhere they went and who they saw and what they ate..it's not easy living somewhere where everyone knows you..

and I was still in the drug house and it was real quiet and no one was there except for a few people who told me that my shot was ready and waiting in the 'room of business transactions' and I took the shot...

... and my arm started to burn and turn red and a huge lump stated to travel up my arm and I grabbed my arm at the elbow and squeezed real hard like a tourniquet and went to the bathroom and the top of my arm split open and blood and gunk came gushing out all over the sink and I took a towel and wrapped it up and came out of the bathroom and went into the living room and everyone was staring at me with eyes wide open and I just said...that shot didn't work. I need another one..

..and they ran...and I did not feel well, and Katie called wanting me to leave the house and I said I couldn't go without my stuff.. and Katie said that I needed to get out as the Texas Rangers were going to bust the house, and I did not understand...and she said that they really did not want me because they believed that I was just a good person who had fallen in with bad people and was being used and when the police had come to the house earlier I should have left with them and then Mom wouldn't be in such a state as she was in now...

... and I agreed to leave and she said they were on the way and to be ready because the State Troopers were on the way too, and apparently when the State Troopers raid a drug house, they don't just take whatever drugs and people are in the house, they take everything, the drugs, people, furniture, cars, the house, the pets, the money and your soul....

...so I start packing and making a pile in the front yard and everyone is watching me with some amusement, playing with their guns and slapping their knives against their palms, and dang, Paul and Terry had really gotten in over their heads..

.and I continued to place boxes in this pile in the yard...."what are you doing?"...."packing"..."why?"..."I'm leaving..my family is coming to get me.".."really?".....

...and then a horn is honking, and honking and these guys line up on the front porch and Bobby and Katie and the boys are in the the '69 red Cadillac Coupe de Ville that Papa Massey had special ordered with a 500 engine that was built for an El Dorado, but when you put the pedal to the medal the front would lift up and it would go wawwwwww and take off like grease lightning (this is why Bobby chose that car to come and get me)...

.... and he jumped the curb and came right up the yard and slid to a stop right at the front porch and said ...get in...and Katie screamed..get in...and the boys were in the bakd seat and got caught up in the excitement and  screamed...GET IN..and I said..but my stuff..

and Bobby popped the trunk and we shoveled it in and he practically threw me in the car and put the pedal to the medal and the guys on the porch were looking strange because as we pulled out the Texas Rangers pulled in...

and Katie was crying because she had heard that they were going to kill me to teach me a lesson for calling the police to the house, which come to find out they had put drano in my shot and when that didn't work those guys on the porch, who turned out to be really hardened criminals were going to do me in..and wailed and wailed...

...and I think I felt loved but did not know because I still had drugs in my system...

and they took me to the family motel...'The Rockwood Motel' because no one wanted me in their homes in my condition..and were afraid of me so they put me in room 15 (which Mom had paid for up front as Papa Sitton (Katie's father in law) was a greedy individual. and I would be taking away income)...which was on the very end and told the porters and the 'whores' to stay away from room 15...

.. and I began the process of drying out...and every now and then there would be a knock at the door and it would be Bobby and he would shove a plate of food at me and run..(if you remember earlier he and Katie had a drug problem too, but at this time were in control and not using thus their fear of me..(someone who was using)

Katie would cook for an army and make plates for family and the waitresses at the club and the porters at the motel...and now for room 15...and I would pace the room and sleep and eat and look out the bathroom window at the 'Rockwood Golf Course' across the street...

...and I called Blake, as I had left with an 8 ball and wanted to end this with a bang, so he came over and the whores were all out in courtyard and knocking on the door as Blake an I were two good looking men.and we got pretty wild doing all that dope..and Papa  was yelling at them that they were not to bother Room 15 as 'he was family'...and 'sick'...he didn't know that I had 'company' and was terrified of me thinking that I had gone truly insane....

 and next to it was a field where the neighbors grazed their horses and I would see orange people lounging in the oak trees that lined the street and they would look at me and wave and I was afraid....




Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 04, 2008, 02:04:53 pm
Well, might as well finish this memory...

There I was in Room 15. I faced my demons alone. My only visitor was Bobby who brought me plates of food regular as clockwork. The orange people had gone away leaving the oak tree as they had found it....

Every now and then there would be 'activity' in the courtyard of the Motel but mostly it was quiet and I was left to my thoughts as there was no radio and no TV. Then after about a week, Bobby came with the plate of food but did not run off.

He hung in the doorway and said that I needed to set my mind around what was going to happen now. First I was going to have to go to the hospital to have my arm looked at. It was still wrapped in the towel and it was filthy. I was afraid to look at it, afraid of what I would see. It did not hurt but did have a dull ache.

 I had actually put on some weight as the plates Katie had made were piled high. (Mom had been furnishing them money to buy my food) Then I was going to have to go to Rehabilitation, but to get there I had to be drug free and show a willingness to stay that way.

So for now, we were waiting to make sure the drugs were out of my system as they would require me to pee for them before any type of help would be available. Mom had already made me an appointment as she had faith that I was going to pass the pee test.*she had probably called on God again* Mom guesstimated what my size would be and bought me a shirt, pants, underwear, socks and a pair of sneakers. Then soap, shampoo, and a razor. I was feeling better now with clean clothes and being shaven. In the shower I finally saw my arm and then blocked its image from my mind.

 Bobby took me to the hospital. Good 'ol JPS(County Hospital) and I was admitted. My arm had a large black leather patch (kinda like a dogs foot pad) and the Dr.s explained that it had to come off in order to heal. A nurse would come in and scrub it with a wire brush thingy and I just gritted my teeth and bore any pain I felt. Then it would be submerged in a whirlpool bath. (it did not really hurt as the drano had melted all the nerve endings and by my grabbing at the elbow and forcing it to come out I had prevented it from going to my heart)(Mom must have been in chapel with her arms crossed and tapping her foot and giving the 'stare' at the cross, for me to have survived this one)

 I felt so unworthy and was grateful they didn't just have me lie on the floor and walk on me. I was a numb puppet doing what I was told without question. Finally it had healed enough where I could advance another step to my Rehabilitation..
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on July 04, 2008, 03:52:59 pm
That dont sound too good. I am just glad you are here to tell about it.
What happened next.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 05, 2008, 12:35:56 am
When I left the Halfway House. I moved in with Katie and Bobby. I went to work at the Fort Worth State School. Vicky was my boss. I was applying to work with juvenile offenders. In my interview, she asked me "what did I have to offer for these boys? I gave her my story of being gay, and a drug addict. She hired me on the spot with no personal references. I didn't have any,  as all my 'friends' were still practicing drug addicts and I couldn't associate with them any more.

After 3 months I bought a car as my stolen car from the drug house, a Pontiac, Grand Prix, was found abandoned and stripped. I then found an apartment and moved out on my own. The following years were such a nightmare, that I can only deal with them in the following fragmented details:

Ok. It's time for UGLY. I have avoided UGLY as it is in one of several rooms down a forgotten hall whose doors I have bolted, and nailed shut to protect my sanity and life as I now know it. I don't pretend that shutting up this room has prevented me from being affected by its contents, but sometimes *out of sight, out of mind* are necessary. This particular room has to do with my sister Katie, her children, Granny S, and Katie's husband Bobby.

I was happy. I was blessed, I was ignorant and naive. Said ignorance and naivity were the foundations of my happiness. I remember times visiting Katie and she would be in bed. Then it was every time I visited she would be in bed. This went on for a period of several years. I was mildly concerned but continued on being happy.

Then one day I got a call. It was Katie. She needed me. She was hurt and needed to go to the hospital. She said that she had fallen down and hurt herself. She couldn't walk. The doctors blamed her weight. She had blossomed, to my surprise to a whopping 400lbs. Katie?! She confessed that she had been practically bedridden for the past couple years because her back hurt.

She had gone shopping one rainy day with the twins who were at that time @5-6 and had picked both up so they would not track mud into her freshly cleaned house. She felt her back snap at that time but ignored it and it only got worse. Bobby, her husband , did not believe her at first, as the doctors, who blamed her weight and would only say...lose weight.

 Bobby was an only child, came from parents who were only children and demanded a lot of Katie's attention. Robert, the oldest boy was supposed to be the only child in Bobby's world and the twins were an accident. Robert looked just like his daddy, but the twins took after our side of the family so much so that everyone would comment that Daniel and I could have been twins. (This did not help their case in vying for their fathers attention). Bobby poured all of his knowledge, experiences, time and love on Robert, basically ignoring the twins.

Ugly #1. Bobby was an alcoholic. Every night he would drink himself into a stupor with a pint o Weller...always saying..Weller makes me weller...and chain smoked a carton of marlboro cigarettes (with the filters pulled off).... every night.  Katie's wifely duties were to 1) have the house clean, 2) make sure the boys were fed, bathed and all homework done and in bed by the time he got home #3) Sit up with Bobby as he watched TV and drank 4) help him to the table and make sure he ate 5) put him to bed 6) do it all over again the next day.

As Katie' back pain increased the less she could do to support Bobby's world and the angrier he became. To Function and keep the peace, Katie discovered that she could take a drug (speed) which dulled the pain in her back enough that she could once again function in Bobby's world. This made Bobby happy.

Then he started taking downers along with his Weller and cigs. They became addicts. All money started going to drugs. Bobby started hitting up his mother for money. Family started becoming suspicious. He always would give reason for needing money on Katie.His mother came to hate Katie for their not having any money.His mother would hear nor believe anything bad said about her son.

I enter the picture. Because of my experience in drugging and rehabilitation, I coordinate an intervention between his mother and my Mom to send respective children to Drug Rehabilitation. By this time Granny S developed alzheimers and came to live with Bobby and Katie. I volunteered to watch their household till they came back ...cured. For a month I became a caretaker for a woman who was not my kin *she was Bobby's gmom* and my 3 nephews.

They return and life returns to normal for a month until I received the aforementioned call for help. Apparently Bobby quit his downers, but not his Weller and his cigs. He still demanded she perform her wifely duties. Her back had not been fixed and was getting worse. She started taking speed again to shut him up.

 He found out and in a drunken justified outrage beat her with a baseball bat. all these facts were unknown to ronnie only coming to light at a later time. For now Katie needed help. Doctors stated that her wrist, knees,, and back...were....broken. ..no insurance...large woman...surgery dangerous if performed on large woman...drugs involved?....no help if drugs involved..meantime Katie is delirious... in pain...Bobby is sober and humble...claims he hates himself for what he has done....he loves Katie...

he stops working, continues drinking and smoking...goes back to downers....Granny S gets worse....the twins are constantly under my armpits..afraid of daddy..Katie delirious...gives more ugly facts...boys need her...she is their protector...has found them tied up with wire touching a battery terminal to them...he was giving them little shock treatments...she MUST get home....worried for her boys...

I am dizzy...I am confused...I am ANGRY...I cross over..I am functioning in a dream....I look in a mirror and dont' recognize myself...I remove the twins from the house and take them home with me...Bobby's mother having a fit...Robert will not leave his daddy..Robert loves his daddy...Robert worships his daddy and will not hear anything bad about his daddy....

FINALLY...Dr. Ranelle...our savior...actually listens to me...wants to help Katie...Katie will not testify or say anything bad about Bobby...she loves him..he is not himself...he is really a good man who has lost his way...I disclose ALL to Dr Ranelle.....suddenly windows open...fresh air blows in.. the sun shines in...he schedules her for surgery...

Mom and Terry (my little sister) have no idea of what has been going on..Katie moaning..promise ..don't tell mom...she won't be able to take it... ronnie doesn't tell mom...Dr Ranelle has us all in surgery room explaining all the dangers involved to Katie, he likes Katie, he wants to help ..the only one who listened and then Bobby enters the room...hate Bobby...remain calm..

Ranelle explaining that Kathrine has a  lot going on in her body ,,then he drops the bomb I could not...of course,,he said..being beaten with a bat did not help...Bobby just stands there...mom and Terry look at me, I am hurrying them out to the hallway..much tears,.,,confusion...anger...nonono...Katie needs us right now...she thinks she needs Bobby...not now...

..surgery over...Katie in nursing home...Granny S dies in her sleep...funeral...strangers....his mother supporting in any way BUT will not believe anything bad about her son...and then...she calls...Bobby has had a heart attack and is trying to leave the hospital because he wants a cigarette....his mother wants me to talk to him..to help him...him...who i hate...i want him dead...

i go to hospital..he is already pulling tubes off..he is dismissing himself from hospital for a cigarette...I talk to him..I ask does he know where he is?  yes...does he know why he is there?...yes...does he know that he is on oxygen? yes...does he know that if he leaves hospital they won't let him back in? yes...does he know he could die?..yes...do you still want a cigarette?..yes and he continues to pull tubing loose....I help...

I pull off the filter of a Marlboro and give it to him...i give him ride home...he wants triple cheeseburger from jack in the box...does he know this is not good for him? yes..he still wants..I buy him a triple cheeseburger with large fries and extra salt....he has another heart attack that night and dies in bed...Daniel is the one who finds him...ambulance...boys hiding in closet...another funeral....I slam door shut and bolt and nail shut.....
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on July 05, 2008, 09:10:28 am
Wow. There are no words.  So....good for you Ron.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Jeff G on July 05, 2008, 10:40:15 am
wow that's quite a story , it takes a strong man to come out the other side of these things . good for you Ronnie
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on July 05, 2008, 11:02:59 am


i go to hospital..he is already pulling tubes off..he is dismissing himself from hospital for a cigarette...I talk to him..I ask does he know where he is?  yes...does he know why he is there?...yes...does he know that he is on oxygen? yes...does he know that if he leaves hospital they won't let him back in? yes...does he know he could die?..yes...do you still want a cigarette?..yes and he continues to pull tubing loose....I help...

I pull off the filter of a Marlboro and give it to him...i give him ride home...he wants triple cheeseburger from jack in the box...does he know this is not good for him? yes..he still wants..I buy him a triple cheeseburger with large fries and extra salt....he has another heart attack that night and dies in bed...Daniel is the one who finds him...ambulance...boys hiding in closet...another funeral....I slam door shut and bolt and nail shut.....

Ronnie............you know you had NOTHING to do with your brother-in-laws demise, he would have KILLED himself without anyones help, just be GREATFUL he didn't take any of his family members with him to his GRAVE  ??? if you somehow blame yourself for any of this,  DON'T.....it's not your fault Hon  :) somethings have a VERY STRANGE WAY of working themselves out ( if you know what I mean)  ;D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 05, 2008, 12:26:49 pm
wow that's quite a story , it takes a strong man to come out the other side of these things . good for you Ronnie

thanks...I sometimes wonder if the man who came out the other side ..was me. Katie was in the nursing home. I was taking care of the twins. Robert wouldn't leave his 'Daddy's house'...nobody else wanted to live there. I got injured at work.

While in the work shop, one of the boys with autism, decided he wanted one of the girls, in a non approved, you're in a public situation way. She was running and he was chasing. I stepped in between and we went back against a work table. Back being on my back into a table corner. 

After the injury, I was at Dr B because I couldn't sleep. I felt like the princess and the pea...then it grew to a bowling ball. I barely could stand or walk for the pain in my back. I remember that moment when, after the MRI, I was sitting there waiting for a RX for pain so I could get back to work, and Dr B stating, you're not going anywhere but home, and bed, and stay there.

I was not prepared for not going back to work. I was on worker's comp so I had money coming in. Then I went to be tested. on my birthday, March 1st, I received my diagnosis of HIV. Mom was with the boys at home, and they had picked up Katie at the nursing home to give me a 'surprise party'

I called Mom from a phone booth, and gave her the news. Then sat in the Botanical Gardens for awhile and then picked myself up and went to my party. Mom had a surprise of buying this house.  This was the only house she could find in the area, that was in the Castleberry School District as the boys wanted to graduate with their friends.

after three years, workers comp was over. So was my job as the Fort Worth State School was closed down. I went to TRS(Texas Rehabilitation Services) and they paid for my college degree. Then I got my job at an endeavor of American Airlines, a call center outside of the airport. Since they owned it, we were considered AA employees and had all the benefits. After the boys graduated, they moved out thinking they could handle their inheritance and  Social Security benefit money better than me and Katie.

Robert continues to live in 'the house' down the road. Dewayne got married and has a daughter and we just found out she is pregnant again.
Daniel has two boys, blew all his money on partying and good times, no job, has warrants, and his life is pretty much in the tubes and won't listen, though he keeps asking for help..all he wants is money, not advice.

I 'functioned' through all those years. Every now and then, I felt something like 'ronnie' would wander through and then leave. Maybe you're supposed to change with age, and life experiences, and I am just trying to return to the past. When I started my HIV meds, they started me on AZT. I couldn't function. Three boys, Katie, doctor, appointments, surgeries, after her back surgery, she had two carpal tunnel, two total knee replacement...with me thinking the whole time...this is it. After this, she is going to be whole and well, and be a new person and we will go back to our lives.

The AZT had to go. every bone in my body turned to ice and I kept throwing up. Tried Norvir. I couldn't get past the smell. They kept pressuring me, you're going to DIE, I started Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit. At least, I wasn't throwing up. I gained weight. Too much weight. in my opinion.

9/11...got laid off. Lost insurance, so stopped taking meds. I still had bottles in the top of my closet. I made the decision upon returning from Marty's funeral. This was after a succession of funerals...Doug, Anthony, Ray, Tom, everyone I knew was dying and leaving me behind. I was lonely, and it was a void my family could not fill.

Even today, if I stop long enough to look in the mirror, I catch myself thinking...who are you? and where is ronnie?

Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 05, 2008, 01:19:46 pm
Ronnie............you know you had NOTHING to do with your brother-in-laws demise, he would have KILLED himself without anyones help, just be GREATFUL he didn't take any of his family members with him to his GRAVE  ??? if you somehow blame yourself for any of this,  DON'T.....it's not your fault Hon  :) somethings have a VERY STRANGE WAY of working themselves out ( if you know what I mean)  ;D

I don't blame myself. He was already pulling the tubes and was surrounded my hospital staff warning him that if he left, he would not be able to come back. His mother was beside herself. For some reason, he had convinced her that he respected me enough to listen to my advice over hers. The fact that she called a Homosexual to help her only child shows how persuasive he could be.

I think he was ready to die for what he had done to my sister. I don't think he even remembers what he did to his own sons. I just know that I wasn't going to let him drag me into his own private hell.

He's gone, but he left his legacy. His Mother had him cremated. Put his urn on the mantle next to his Dad. After she died, all three urns were put in the same plot so all three are together.

Daniel is the only one who seems to still have unresolved  issues. Anger issues. I couldn't get him to go to the funeral. I wish he had. I know that he wanted to beat the shit out of him for what he did to him and his mom. Still trying  to get him to go some kind of therapy. I took all three to therapy when they came to live with me.

That was a waste of money. Therapy is only good, if your willing to listen.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on July 05, 2008, 01:40:41 pm
Well at least you still have your family for support, my family (in Calif) are all DEAD, except for my Twin Sister, she's married and 2 grown kids........I have a LOVE HATE relationship w/ my sister, she is fine w/ me being HIV+ and GAY MALE, but sometimes shes NOT ok w/ any of it, so, I dunno
she kept me away form her kids most of thier life, they know me as Uncle, but that is really all they know, they are just like her, so, you know how that go's................the one thing that really bothers me, is THIS, if something BAD should happen to me, other than BOB my otherhalf is really all the family I have, and if something happens to him.........well ,let's just say, I would pretty much be on my own, and alone again, I've been there before ( having 3 life partners DIE of AIDS, so, at least I know what to do......but, I FEAR being alone, and that's really not a very good place for me, it's not so much fun having NO family members to look to, I wish I did, but I don't have that luxury like most people do  :'(
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 05, 2008, 02:17:10 pm
Well at least you still have your family for support, my family (in Calif) are all DEAD, except for my Twin Sister, she's married and 2 grown kids........I have a LOVE HATE relationship w/ my sister, she is fine w/ me being HIV+ and GAY MALE, but sometimes shes NOT ok w/ any of it, so, I dunno
she kept me away form her kids most of thier life, they know me as Uncle, but that is really all they know, they are just like her, so, you know how that go's................the one thing that really bothers me, is THIS, if something BAD should happen to me, other than BOB my otherhalf is really all the family I have, and if something happens to him.........well ,let's just say, I would pretty much be on my own, and alone again, I've been there before ( having 3 life partners DIE of AIDS, so, at least I know what to do......but, I FEAR being alone, and that's really not a very good place for me, it's not so much fun having NO family members to look to, I wish I did, but I don't have that luxury like most people do  :'(


...my little sister and I have had problems. She gets up on her soap box now and then, spouting Jesus and the Bible. Then something happens in her life, and the soap box disappears.

She will get on Katie about her weight, then she blossoms herself. * ya know, take your own advice sometime?*

She loves to give lectures on how you should live your life..then, when got breast cancer and lost her right breast, her husband went crazy and abandoned her and their 2 kids.  The lectures stopped.

So, she has changed...and it's to the good. She has remarried. She used to blame me for making her life difficult because I've never hid anything from anybody...."oh, this is my brother, and he's a Homosexual and he has HIV"....but, hey, this guy didn't run away....so maybe they don't hold her responsible for me? ::)  I have even developed a relationship with my nephew and niece.

When diagnosed and told I was going to die, get readygetreadygetready....and it didn't happen. I was in the mind set that I wouldn't ever be alone because I was going to die before everyone else.  Now, I'm having to rethink, ok...I might just outlive everyone else. Now what am I going to do?

I haven't found the answer to that question yet.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on July 05, 2008, 02:56:09 pm
...my little sister and I have had problems. She gets up on her soap box now and then, spouting Jesus and the Bible. Then something happens in her life, and the soap box disappears.

She will get on Katie about her weight, then she blossoms herself. * ya know, take your own advice sometime?*

She loves to give lectures on how you should live your life..then, when got breast cancer and lost her right breast, her husband went crazy and abandoned her and their 2 kids.  The lectures stopped.

So, she has changed...and it's to the good. She has remarried. She used to blame me for making her life difficult because I've never hid anything from anybody...."oh, this is my brother, and he's a Homosexual and he has HIV"....but, hey, this guy didn't run away....so maybe they don't hold her responsible for me? ::)  I have even developed a relationship with my nephew and niece.

When diagnosed and told I was going to die, get readygetreadygetready....and it didn't happen. I was in the mind set that I wouldn't ever be alone because I was going to die before everyone else.  Now, I'm having to rethink, ok...I might just outlive everyone else. Now what am I going to do?

I haven't found the answer to that question yet.

Yeah, I ask myself that alot......nobody wants you when your old, sick, and poor, I sure hope that doesn't happen to me, but it probably will being it's the cycle-of-life.........I just hope I don't DIE alone............but, as chicken-shit as my Twin sister is, I probably will..........
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 06, 2008, 02:42:15 am
I woke up with a rash. I've got little blisters on my legs and neck behind my ear. I've got this cream the Dr gave me that starts with a "K" I couldn't pronounce it if I had to...

There is a plan of going to get our haircuts tomorrow. I'll see how this cream is doing on my neck. It embarrasses me to have these swollen, oozing red, blisters/bumps. I just know that people are like.. ewwww. Fortunately, they dry up and scale off in about 4 days, usually. I gotta sorta like leave then alone for that to happen.

We had a minor, in house emergency. The DVD player in the living room is very old and has started skipping, which is very irritating. It started to skip within the last two weeks. Katie just put a new movie in called 'Jumper' and it went from the beginning to the middle to the end. in five minutes.

The DVD Player in Katie's bedroom is a new Toshiba that I bought her for Christmas. Since we watch more in the livingroom than the bedroom,  I exchanged them.

All of those connections. and the moving of the entertainment center.to get to the outlet....

it is always through sheer dumb luck that I get everything re-connected.

It was especially harder this go round as my eyes aren't what they used to be, and my leg did not want to bend, and not only started to swell, but throb and turned red....but I persevered, and won the day.

I started getting real nervous waiting for the mail as I still had not received my Warfarin and Viramune and it was getting low. I nearly attacked the mailbox, the mail truck hadn't even made it to the next mail box. My RX was there to my great relief. I hate it when they get a Holiday. And since there was a Holiday, it wasn't our regular mailperson and he put a piece of mail that went to Duplex B in our box...knockknockknock.

I found the cutest BDay card for Mom. It has a bunch of pirates digging on the beach for treasure. There is a knob that you turn, like a jack in the box, and it plays a piratey tune and animates the pirates to digging and showing their butt crack out the top of their britches.

The message is "Thought you might like some Pirate Booty"  Then it shows the unearthed treasure chest full of gold and jewels and one pirate is holding up a bottle of rum and asking "any lime?"  and another is gazing in,  with his butt crack all red and shiny.  and saying , very disappointed, "aaarrgghh, no sunscreen".....

It's kinda like a shadow box. Have no idea how much postage would be. Fortunately, I have all kinds of stamps from different price increases through the years and I just fill across the top. I've never had one returned for insufficient postage yet.

Oh, bugger...Katie is calling from the kitchen. There is a loose pipe under the sink that comes off now and then. Usually when running the disposal. I guess it's the vibrations. I have squirreled a piece of rubber tire from that broke off one of the lawn mowers, but it still manages to wriggle free now and then.

A list for the Plumber is growing...we're just deciding on a 'good time' to call....like a time when neither of us have any appointments so someone will be here....

 Katie never notices the water, running down her legs and feet, being paralyzed from the waist down and made quite a pond of the kitchen. Backing her chair up and hearing the water on the wheels and looking down.....then she notices. I swear, we're going to wake up in the basement one day....we just replaced the kitchen floor last year.

I keep telling her that she's worse than the boys. Three boys playing, they managed to break something every day. My life was a constant list of "HONEY DO's".....I had a brief time when I got caught up after they moved out, and then came THAT ELECTRIC WHEELCHAR. ..






Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 06, 2008, 11:32:19 pm
Horrible night. Itching spread to my inner wrist, behind my knees above my calves and down my shins. and acoss my belly. I retracted my claws and did not scratch, and kept adding the Ketaconazole cream and finally the itching stopped this morning. I have one spot on my neck that still has a bump that I mashed....couldn't help myself.

Was probably brought on my nerves.

Mom called earlier. she had to take JW to the hospital. In fact he asked to go to the hospital, which is not like him. The other shoe has not dropped, but it is swinging. JW, who has cancer, is 72, has been having extreme anemia problems this past month. They thought he was bleeding internally in his intestines and sent in an encapsulated camera that he swallowed and it took pictures as it made it's way through his intestines.

The principle of 'threes' has not happened yet. Katie swears that when something bad happens, two more event will follow. I have a foreboding. And my mind is so good at creating evil thoughts.

Being in a 'fateful' mood I have looked at Katie and "ya know, when Chera announced that she was pregnant with McKayla, Ninny (Katie's mother in law) died on the very day Chera called and made the announcement.

Now she has announced another pregnancy and JW is in the hospital, not doing well..

....just sayin.."

Katie plugged her ears.

I really don't know how I will be able to deal with my Mom being alone. ...I know she has us, but, it's not the same thing. I know we can't fill certain voids. ...

I am frightened, pure and simple. I can feel tears building up in the reservoirs. I have no baseline for this. In worrying about Mom, I find that I am worried about me. I'm so selfish....

I know that Birth and Death are both reminders of mortality. That is why funerals make people want to have sex and the birth of babies makes people cry. I like to think that babies born near a death in the family carry a part of that person's soul.

I know it isn't rational but I like to think it.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Jeff G on July 07, 2008, 12:30:26 am
Hi Ronnie
I hope you wake up tomarrow to a better day .
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on July 07, 2008, 11:13:00 am
Horrible night. Itching spread to my inner wrist, behind my knees above my calves and down my shins. and acoss my belly. I retracted my claws and did not scratch, and kept adding the Ketaconazole cream and finally the itching stopped this morning. I have one spot on my neck that still has a bump that I mashed....couldn't help myself.

You know ronnie, if your Itching gets TOO BAD, you might want to ask your Doctor for some Atarax (Hydroxyzine) or Benidrill (Diphenhydram) both stop Itching and will clean-your-clock (make you very sleepy) so, if you do get them, be careful, Antihistamines are very addictive, and if you take them everyday, they will no longer work anymore, another thing, check some of the side effects of some of your MEDS, they can be the cause of this intching as well
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 08, 2008, 02:55:15 am
You know ronnie, if your Itching gets TOO BAD, you might want to ask your Doctor for some Atarax (Hydroxyzine) or Benidrill (Diphenhydram) both stop Itching and will clean-your-clock (make you very sleepy) so, if you do get them, be careful, Antihistamines are very addictive, and if you take them everyday, they will no longer work anymore, another thing, check some of the side effects of some of your MEDS, they can be the cause of this intching as well

thanks Dennis,
Fortunately the itching has stopped. The ketaconazole cream has worked. Only have one irritated spot where my neck and jaw meet that I picked at and couldn't seem to leave alone.

I've always had bad allergies, but can no longer take antihistamines as they do not play well with Wafarin.
TWO things the Dr is always bugging me about...no sinus meds and no aspirin.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 08, 2008, 03:10:49 am
JW is still in the hospital. He is not feeling better after the blood transfusion like he usually does. The doctors don't know what is causing the anemia.

He is in good spirits and keeps saying "go home, you don't need to be seeing me like this. He is on morphene, so fades in and out.

He sent Mom home to get some rest stating she didn't need to be there when the laxative they have given him starts to break things loose.

She agreed.

Katie ran out of chucks and diapers today. Precious Care had been late in their payments and she did not get a full order in June and they only deliver once a month, the 18th,

So Katie called and they said that June was GONE, it's now July, and that if she could pick them up today, they would let them have her order for this month early.

One problem to that is that they are in Cleburne. This is almost halfway to Waco. But, not wanting a bedtime/potty time nightmare until the 18th.....I declared....

...a ROAD TRIP and we went on an excursion. It was about a 50 minute drive one way through Joshua and then Cleburne, Country Living, fields with hay bales already rolled and waiting.

Small towns, with speed limit's close to zero so you can't just pass them by and not take in the 'sight'. Dairy Queens on every corner. (I had wondered where they went to....Fort Worth only has one that I know of...)

So, we got her supplies loaded in my truck and stopped at DQ (Dairy Queen) and had a quick snack...chili cheese dogs and root beer.....

REAL manly, chili cheese dogs, I had to pull over to the side of the road to get a good handle on eating it as things started getting out of control trying to drive and eat....root beer so good that it almost tasted like a vanilla float...

More country roads, blue skies, with white clouds with gray bottoms, and it rained, then the sun came out, then it rained again and then the sun came out bright and fierce....

Driving on those roads through those towns reminded me of when we would go visit my Grandparents on the farm:

.this is where  my mother grew up..Muleshoe...near Amarillo.....dust bowl...in the middle of nowhere..two lane dirt road with HILLS..when we went to visit I would stare out of the back window watching the dust cloud made by the car and when we started climbing a hill would start chanting..faster, faster..because when you crested the hill the car sort of went ..up..like an elevator starting up and make a tickle in your tummy..

but then they moved to Waco and Daddy made a trailer park. Mother had an obsession about TORNADOS, so Daddy built her a STORM CELLAR, with a steel door that had a cable and a cement block to help open and close the door...with a bed, stinky mattress...and jugs of water.

 Half underground and half above ground with air pipes sticking upithe top it became our playground....and then we discovered sliding down the cellar door....this blackened our bottoms and drove Mother to distractions so that we were forbidden to play on the STORM SHELTER. so Daddy built us this Chinese rickshaw and we would take turns being the horse..this was before he tarred all of the roads in the park and I fell once and skinned my knee on the gravel...still have the scar on my knee

Mother would teach me to sing songs like:   http://www.singingbabies.com/playmate.html

Playmate (Come Out and Play With Me)

Hey, hey, oh playmate,
Come out and play with me.
You'll bring your dollies three,
Climb up my apple tree.
Cry down my rain barrel,
Slide down my cellar door.
And we'll be jolly friends
Forever more.

So sorry, playmate
I cannot play with you.
My dolly's go the flu.
Boo-hoo-oo-oo-oo.
Can't cry down your rain barrel,
Or slide down your cellar door.
But we'll be jolly friends
For ever more.



Chickery Chick:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eIZtvDdb4bA

She would rescue birds washed from their nests during storms and nurture them to health and release them. Then she would stand outside holding out her arms and calling budgie, budgie ,budgie (they were all named budgie) and dang if they didn't fly down and land on her arms and stay while she talked to them.


Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on July 08, 2008, 04:47:19 pm
Ron: "When diagnosed and told I was going to die, get readygetreadygetready....and it didn't happen. I was in the mind set that I wouldn't ever be alone because I was going to die before everyone else.  Now, I'm having to rethink, ok...I might just outlive everyone else. Now what am I going to do?"
...

I am trying to get the words to come out the way I want them to....Ron.  I went thru this for a long time. I guess I am still going thru it. So:
1.  You are not alone.
2. Just cause you have HIV doesnt mean you cant grow up and assume your place in the family. You just have to do in with HIV or in spite of HIV.
3. Even if you do out live them ( your Mom and other relatives),  they are not dead yet................ so lets do the day to day thing that we all talk about so much......the future you have no control over but you can control what is happening in your mind TODAY.
4. When did you last tell your Mom you loved her and thanked her for everything she has done for you?  I hope every time you can.

My Dad died in 1999 and my Mom this past October. I did not think I would outlive them  (like you) but here I am.  It is especially difficult to take the life you have right now this minute and say to yourself: "This is my life and its not going to change or be different unless I change it" or " This is my life right now and this is all its gonna be." or " This is my life right now and I dont like it so what do I need to do to change it?"   i mean ....take your pick....I ask myself this stuff every day.
Somewhere around 50 I had this horrible realization that I had not achieved everything I wanted to achieve and probably would not ever be able to.  But I am still working on it.

Ron:  "I 'functioned' through all those years. Every now and then, I felt something like 'ronnie' would wander through and then leave. Maybe you're supposed to change with age, and life experiences, and I am just trying to return to the past. When I started my HIV meds, they started me on AZT. I couldn't function. Three boys, Katie, doctor, appointments, surgeries, after her back surgery, she had two carpal tunnel, two total knee replacement...with me thinking the whole time...this is it. After this, she is going to be whole and well, and be a new person and we will go back to our lives."

Ron Ron Ron.......honey this is more or less the center of the problem.  Who you are is what you are, who you are, right now, this minute.  You and I can remember being young and carefree and not having HIV or a lot of other stuff but we cannot go back to that person in that time...just cant be done.  You know it as well as I .  We have to work on Joel right now this minute and Ron right now this minute.
Hope this helps.

Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Jeff G on July 08, 2008, 05:36:31 pm
I was thinking about how to reply but I think Joel said it all nicely .

The only thing I could add is from reading your thread its obvious that you are a strong man to have survived what you already have been through , you are probably much stronger than you realize . You have so much more to give and offer ... just saying

Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: AlanBama on July 08, 2008, 08:17:32 pm
very well-stated by Joel.

jg's right Ron, you are probably a lot stronger than you realize or give yourself credit for.  I know I was (am).    Folks'll be amazed at what they can do when they HAVE to.

hugs to you,

Alan   :-*

PS - sometimes I get a case of the "whineys" and one of my good friends has to bitch-slap me back into reality.    They're like "Bitch, you worked full time with no T cells for YEARS, so don't complain about feeling bad now".
I'm glad I have someone in my life like that, and hope you do too.   We've got several here willing to step in, I'm sure.....
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: aztecan on July 08, 2008, 10:38:51 pm
Ron,

I think Joel said it beautifully, as did JG and Alan.

So, remember, you are a pretty amazing fellow who has helped and affected many people's lives in a positive way.

HUGS,

Mark
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 09, 2008, 02:42:42 am
Oh Joel,

I can't put it into words...

At the end of every conversation/meeting with Mom, I say I love You and she says I love You, and we hug....

Mom knows that I appreciate her as I send her everything I write, she is my inspiration. ...she is always there....

...which is the source of my despair..I can't ever imagine her not being here....

I have had a good life, even though I think of what would have happened if I had just 'flounced' out the door that day and went on my merry way....

Uncle Ronnie and the twins..Daniel/blond  Dewayne/brunette

(http://img154.imageshack.us/img154/1962/676039214462638gl7.jpg)

ronnie/Bobby, Katie, Dewayne, Robert, Daniel

(http://img112.imageshack.us/img112/180/676052510345458wr1.gif)

I am grateful for my life and the part I have played in the Katie and the boys lives.

I am a Gay Man, and I miss my Gay life. I have attracted many men, yet none have stood the test of:

 I have a curfew.

I have HIV. I have met other men who are POZ, and the one I attract are in denial. They drink and do drugs. They smoke like a chimney...and then wonder why they feel so bad.... I ran.  I have met those who are Neg and want to be POZ...I ran.

I have responsibilities at home.. I have a disabled sister. It was worse when the boys were younger. I took them with me wherever I went. I must confess, I used them to drive away undesirables. Their driving away everyone else just happened.

I can go out now that they have moved out, but I've discovered that being Gay in the 70's and 80's is NOTHING like being Gay today. I don't fit in.

I fail on the eligible listing of:

Do you have  your own place to live?

Do you live alone?.................................X

Do you have  your own car?

Do you have a job?..............................X

Do you have any diseases?....................X

3 strikes and I'm out. I'm left sitting pushing the stool  to the floor, drinking my one drink, listening to the music, and then going home alone.

I have to ask myself where I'm at in my life everyday....then I go from there, no two days are alike....
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 09, 2008, 02:49:19 am
very well-stated by Joel.

jg's right Ron, you are probably a lot stronger than you realize or give yourself credit for.  I know I was (am).    Folks'll be amazed at what they can do when they HAVE to.

hugs to you,

Alan   :-*

PS - sometimes I get a case of the "whineys" and one of my good friends has to bitch-slap me back into reality.    They're like "Bitch, you worked full time with no T cells for YEARS, so don't complain about feeling bad now".
I'm glad I have someone in my life like that, and hope you do too.   We've got several here willing to step in, I'm sure.....

thanks Alan..I call it 'controlled hysteria'...

and  yes, this is not the first time Joel and jg have cut me off at the pass....  "just..not the face...please.."
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 09, 2008, 02:53:48 am
Ron,

I think Joel said it beautifully, as did JG and Alan.

So, remember, you are a pretty amazing fellow who has helped and affected many people's lives in a positive way.

HUGS,

Mark


thank you Mark.

It's just that sometimes it seems that I might just shoulda kept my mouth shut. After an intense one on one with Daniel, Katie will say.."yes, you were right, you're always right, but did you have to tell him how wrong he was?"
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on July 09, 2008, 10:18:37 am

I can go out now that they have moved out, but I've discovered that being Gay in the 70's and 80's is NOTHING like being Gay today. I don't fit in.

I fail on the eligible listing of:

Do you have  your own place to live?

Do you live alone?.................................X

Do you have  your own car?

Do you have a job?..............................X

Do you have any diseases?....................X

3 strikes and I'm out. I'm left sitting pushing the stool  to the floor, drinking my one drink, listening to the music, and then going home alone.

I have to ask myself where I'm at in my life everyday....then I go from there, no two days are alike....


 Being Gay in the 70's and 80's is NOTHING like being Gay today. I don't fit in.

I fail on the eligible listing of:

Do you have  your own place to live? YES

Do you live alone? NO

Do you have  your own car? YES

Do you have a job? NO

Do you have any diseases? YES

Ronnie you're not alone.......I don't fit in, I have never fit in........even tho I try to, I don't, YES I live with my otherhalf BOB, we are both disabled
and most all of our peers can't or won't deal with that............so, we both DON'T FIT IN, and because of this we have NO FRIENDS........when I worked, it was my whole life, I had FRIENDS, I was happy...............life was good untill I GOT SICK, then my life changed FORVEVER!!!..........and here's the real sad part........speaking of my HIV+ Peers (the local Guys that have HIV) none of them talk to me cuz, I'm in a discordant relationship (with someone who's NOT POZ)......maybe they are all jealous? I don't know? but, most of them want a romp-in-the-hay, but I'm not interested in that, so, I have no FRIENDS because of those things I just mentioned.......at least you have a supporting family....it's a lot worse for me ronnie...........so, I don't think you have it so bad, as you might think you do.....as for dating and someone for you, you have a lot to offer, and you would make a GREAT husband/boyfriend/lover to more than you even think  ;D  Id say you have it pretty dam good compaired to most of us here on this forum............even tho you may be lonely.........your life isn't all that bad as you make it sound hon  ::)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on July 09, 2008, 12:25:23 pm
Denb.....I can sure relate to what you say about:   NOT FITTING IN.
Guys
This is my last post until next weerk.  Kurt and I are in Cape May (NJ) and the person who owns this computer is leaving today with computer in hand.
Long story short:
Since I am not among the "RICH" folks, I make do as I can. So, as a way to  get a week at the shore, I trade services with the person who owns this house. Kurt and I were here last year.  He gets his "beach fix" and its a nice getaway for both of us.  Last year he was in a lot of pain because of his knee and could not walk in sand.  This year he has a new tiitanium knee and can navigate the worst terrain.  Its nice to see him doing well.
Last night we went out to dinner at a really good restaurant (BUT not expensive), and played Scrable. Simple pleasures.
Lois, our dear friend, joined us for 4 days ......she has the computer.
So we will be here for the rest of the week and no computer and no cell phones and only a phone that is for local calling ( to order pizza!!!).
Thats what we used to do on vacation....get away from it all.  I dont get it any more with people who are attached to their cells phones.  Another acquaintence of ours stopped by to pay us a visit.  He walked in with laptop...set it up on the kitchen table ....got on his email and started getting calls on his cell phone.  In between doing "business" he visited with us. Then....when  he left I sort of wondered what just had happened.  Did he visit with us really?
So...see you next week.  Ron....take care of yourself.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Jeff G on July 09, 2008, 01:07:34 pm
One of the many things I have in common with Ronnie is my past , working in a bar for years coupled with my history of drug abuse makes who I choose to associate with a factor .

I no longer wish to be a part of any situation that involves drug use or even places where people drink more than one or two alcoholic beverages . I often remind myself when I'm lonely that I made a healthy choice when I decided to make changes in my life to avoid fair weather friends hell bent on destruction . At one point I realized with this kind of change comes uncomfortable growing pains .

Its taken awhile but I'm beginning to make friends with people with values , quality people that makes for friendships that are healthy and positive .

 
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 09, 2008, 01:11:39 pm

 Being Gay in the 70's and 80's is NOTHING like being Gay today. I don't fit in.

I fail on the eligible listing of:

Do you have  your own place to live? YES

Do you live alone? NO

Do you have  your own car? YES

Do you have a job? NO

Do you have any diseases? YES

Ronnie you're not alone.......I don't fit in, I have never fit in........even tho I try to, I don't, YES I live with my otherhalf BOB, we are both disabled
and most all of our peers can't or won't deal with that............so, we both DON'T FIT IN, and because of this we have NO FRIENDS........when I worked, it was my whole life, I had FRIENDS, I was happy...............life was good untill I GOT SICK, then my life changed FORVEVER!!!..........and here's the real sad part........speaking of my HIV+ Peers (the local Guys that have HIV) none of them talk to me cuz, I'm in a discordant relationship (with someone who's NOT POZ)......maybe they are all jealous? I don't know? but, most of them want a romp-in-the-hay, but I'm not interested in that, so, I have no FRIENDS because of those things I just mentioned.......at least you have a supporting family....it's a lot worse for me ronnie...........so, I don't think you have it so bad, as you might think you do.....as for dating and someone for you, you have a lot to offer, and you would make a GREAT husband/boyfriend/lover to more than you even think  ;D  Id say you have it pretty dam good compaired to most of us here on this forum............even tho you may be lonely.........your life isn't all that bad as you make it sound hon  ::)

dennis,
why can't you live next door? Why do all the wonderful people I can connect to here on the forums, have to live outside of my neighborhood?

I am on my pity pot. I miss my friends, and this has been triggered by JW's illness and my knowing that our lives are going to change again. I'm  in an adjustment period. It's allowed. I miss going two blocks down to my bestest friend Marty. Sometimes, I would have to make a stop for reinforcements, especially Ray,....

knockknockkcnock....??.."he must not be in?..."f**that, he's here"....and I pull out a key and open the door, being greeted by 4 doggies, who were glad to see us....."dang it's dark in here, Marty, you cheap sob, turn on a light" ...

and a lamp would come on and Ray would head for the kitchen,claiming that he was hungry...feed me....Marty loved to cook, and seemed to only want to eat when he was cooking for others....

And Marty would jump up from the chair he had been sitting in, in the dark, alone...and we would pull out the cards or some new game Marty had found, that no body knew the rules to but him.....

Marty was especially bummed out. He used to vbe a phlebotomist and had been infected by a needle stick by a patient. When tested, Marty went straight to diagnosis AIDS.....he also would not take meds as he believed that AIDS was a conspiracy to rid the world of us....and that the meds were part two of an insidious plot...

Ray and I would just look at each other....our sweet, beautiful Marty....we were not only friends, but worked together at the bar, and he insisted on living his life like there would be no tomorrow...he lived it hard, partied hard, ...Ray and i would have to hold him back sometimes and be there when he overdid it and couldn't get up the next day, sometimes the next....

"Where's Daniel"...it was summer and Marty had promised the boys that he would teach them how to play 'disc golf' after we all went swimming at Burger's Lake...Ray could be heard in the fridge in the kitchen..."feed me"...Marty ran to the kitchen...slapping Ray's hands to get out that....it's for dessert....

After eating a scrumptious meal..Marty was an excellent cook, ....we would go by my house, pick up the boys and headed for the lake...

Marty died, in San Francisco. There was a gorup htere he had found that fueled his conspiracy beliefs. While there, he had found a doctor, who had a new treatment ...he did not survive the treatment...or whatever... alll I know is my Marty was gone....



Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on July 09, 2008, 01:19:31 pm
dennis,
why can't you live next door? Why do all the wonderful people I can connect to here on the forums, have to live outside of my neighborhood?




Ronnie I wish I did live next door to you, you sound like a wonderful person, I'd be very happy to have you as my neighbor.......you & katie would like Bob & me, we cook, and stay home most of the time, were nice guys too  ;D............but, I can at least come here and read the things you post, I enjoy them, keep posting PLEASE...........your FANS are waiting for whatever you have to say next, we all look forward to it EVERY DAY  ;D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 09, 2008, 01:28:23 pm
Denb.....I can sure relate to what you say about:   NOT FITTING IN.
Guys
This is my last post until next weerk.  Kurt and I are in Cape May (NJ) and the person who owns this computer is leaving today with computer in hand.
Long story short:
Since I am not among the "RICH" folks, I make do as I can. So, as a way to  get a week at the shore, I trade services with the person who owns this house. Kurt and I were here last year.  He gets his "beach fix" and its a nice getaway for both of us.  Last year he was in a lot of pain because of his knee and could not walk in sand.  This year he has a new tiitanium knee and can navigate the worst terrain.  Its nice to see him doing well.
Last night we went out to dinner at a really good restaurant (BUT not expensive), and played Scrable. Simple pleasures.
Lois, our dear friend, joined us for 4 days ......she has the computer.
So we will be here for the rest of the week and no computer and no cell phones and only a phone that is for local calling ( to order pizza!!!).
Thats what we used to do on vacation....get away from it all.  I dont get it any more with people who are attached to their cells phones.  Another acquaintence of ours stopped by to pay us a visit.  He walked in with laptop...set it up on the kitchen table ....got on his email and started getting calls on his cell phone.  In between doing "business" he visited with us. Then....when  he left I sort of wondered what just had happened.  Did he visit with us really?
So...see you next week.  Ron....take care of yourself.


I love beaches, making sand castles. Enjoy your vacation. have a safe trip and we'll talk to you next week.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 09, 2008, 01:43:19 pm
One of the many things I have in common with Ronnie is my past , working in a bar for years coupled with my history of drug abuse makes who I choose to associate with a factor .

I no longer wish to be a part of any situation that involves drug use or even places where people drink more than one or two alcoholic beverages . I often remind myself when I'm lonely that I made a healthy choice when I decided to make changes in my life to avoid fair weather friends hell bent on destruction . At one point I realized with this kind of change comes uncomfortable growing pains .

Its taken awhile but I'm beginning to make friends with people with values , quality people that makes for friendships that are healthy and positive .

 

In the 70's 80's , my coming out, and living as a gay man meant that you lived your Gay life at/through the bars. It's where you met and made friends, lovers, and pickups. Even events scheduled outside the bar, originated from the bar...most parades, started and ended at the bar. Everytime you found yourself lonely...go to the bar.

This was my indoctrination into Gay life and how I lived most of my gay life and I find that I am criticized by th 'new gay community' for just living the only way I knew how. Today, there are a lot more options, but because of what I've been through, I find that I am not accepted in most of todays gay social circles...publicly.  In private, these same critics, want to swing from the trees with me...and become upset when I only advise caution and discretion.

luv ya jg


Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on July 09, 2008, 02:03:08 pm
In the 70's 80's , my coming out, and living as a gay man meant that you lived your Gay life at/through the bars. It's where you met and made friends, lovers, and pickups. Even events scheduled outside the bar, originated from the bar...most parades, started and ended at the bar. Everytime you found yourself lonely...go to the bar.

This was my indoctrination into Gay life and how I lived most of my gay life and I find that I am criticized by th 'new gay community' for just living the only way I knew how. Today, there are a lot more options, but because of what I've been through, I find that I am not accepted in most of todays gay social circles...publicly.  In private, these same critics, want to swing from the trees with me...and become upset when I only advise caution and discretion.

luv ya jg




I feel the same way you do ( I'm 52) but, you must admit, the past is the past.........it's gone forever......never to return..........EVER..........let the past DIE...........and begin something NEW, you'd be suprized just what that can be, and what it means to many others  8)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 10, 2008, 04:23:20 am
Knocking at the door woke me up at 11am. It was Charlotte. I guess her back pain is under control. Katie was still in bed too, so I left them to it.

I had my follow up for my Oral Surgery. There must be a lot of bad teeth in Fort Worth because there were people standing against the walls. I was one of them. I was hoping the line would move pretty quickly as my leg started to swell and turn shiny red. People started noticing it.

To my relief, a lady came with a roster of names and took almost half the crowd with her. I don't know where. All I saw was vacant seats, which I immediately sank in and after taking one deep breath of relief, got right back up as my name was called. ..typical.

This Doctor was even younger than the one who had performed the surgery. I swear he looked to 19 or 20. I know that I am not good at people's ages, but.....he was young. Ran his gloved fingers along my gum line and declared that the tiny hard marble I was feeling was just bone and nothing to worry about. I was in the waiting lounge for 30 minutes. In the actual exam room for 5 minutes.

The next time I have a follow up and I am feeling..ok...I will save my $20.00 copay and stay at home.

So I am driving and see a reminder for State Inspections and mine is due, so I zipped in and had my yearly oil change/State Inspection. This must be a bad year for cashiers.

This lady kept freezing the computer, and they had to keep calling for one of the mechanics who knew how to fix it...They were watching him, you would think they would pick it up as it happened 3 times before she got to me. There were 4 people before me and we were in the lounge and I started getting nervous as ...

...nobody was passing the inspection for one reason or another. This poor kid. He had a semi-new Celica, 2000,, and it was decked out with all the accessories...beautiful. It didn't pass. Turns out he had only had it for three weeks. I told him that I would take it back and have the dealer get it inspected...it didn't pass because of.something to do with the battery having been disconnected and something not being reset afterwards.??...

..after paying, the woman told me to have a nice day and I was.."it's already done?" and she affirmed "yes"...and these guys were still in the lounge that had been there ahead of me.

I put it down to they were having problems getting inspected and drove off. One mile down the road, I noticed that the number "08" was still showing as the year.?? and got all flustered and suddenly, I didn't know what year it was, but something kept saying it already 2008..

So I called Katie while executing a somewhat illegal U-Turn in front of Ridgmar Mall before the light through one of those rush hour traffic road rage paths made across a medium.. ::) I figured I could use it even though I wasn't in road rage but consumer rage.. ::)

...and she verified that it was already 2008. I pulled in and this mechanic came out thinking I was going to have some complaint, and I did. I pointed to the sticker and he thought that I had just arrived wanting an inspection...

I spluttered that I had already paid for one and had not received my sticker. So, after showing my receipt, he took it to the inspection bay and I was greeted by my former cellmates..err..loungemates....with raised questioning eyebrows....

Got my 2009 sticker, which I looked at cautiously, like twice before driving off...and decided to go to the store real quick to pick up a few things...while I was out and driving that way....another $51.00 fill-up. I just can't get used to it. Those number just leap, and bound and I swear they skip a few...

I had just mailed off last months payment to the gas company...at least I only fill-up once a month....

I got a notice from Dr G for an appointment on the 15th @1pm...I hate afternoon appointments, especially right after the lunch hour...I'm always waiting for them to get back from lunch... >:(

So,  after waiting for a month, I should get my ECHO and hopefully my Pulmonary Stress test on this one visit. She is already going to get an earful on how my leg has been tingling like a beehive and going completely numb from hip to toe. I'm going to be pushing to see a cardiovascular specialist, which she ignored last visit. knockknockknock..."hello in there...I'm telling you there is something WRONG here"..

I am already thinking that they are dragging out these appointments to one thing at a time to get these co-pays...

Then the next day on the 16th, I have my appointment with my ID, Dr D and should have a new set of numbers .....I sure hope those numbers move a little faster than the last time.  :-\

 She is going to get an earful on my rash...why do symptoms appear in between visits?....by the time I get to see the doctor, I'm symptom free...

The boys' birthdays are all at the end of this month. Robert will be 30, and the twins 27. ...I am not only getting old, but ancient.

Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Robert on July 10, 2008, 11:08:26 am

...nobody was passing the inspection for one reason or another. This poor kid. He had a semi-new Celica, 2000,, and it was decked out with all the accessories...beautiful. It didn't pass. Turns out he had only had it for three weeks. I told him that I would take it back and have the dealer get it inspected...it didn't pass because of.something to do with the battery having been disconnected and something not being reset afterwards.??...


Ronnie..

I had to get a new battery the other day.  While I was there I asked them to "inspect" the car as it's due by the end of the month. They said the same thing.  Because it's a new battery they had to reset something, blah, blah blah.   They told me to come back in a week after I had driven 50+ miles and then they could do the inspection.

Beats me.

Happy birthday to the boys. 

good luck with the Drs. 

one of your persistant readers...robt
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: OutOfDarkness on July 10, 2008, 06:00:42 pm
I hope you get some treatments and answers you need from your doc about your leg.  Can you see a specialist or go back to one.  I think DVT would be under cardiovascular or pulmonary specialist.  Good luck, you shouldn't have to suffer like this.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 11, 2008, 05:46:11 am
Ronnie..

I had to get a new battery the other day.  While I was there I asked them to "inspect" the car as it's due by the end of the month. They said the same thing.  Because it's a new battery they had to reset something, blah, blah blah.   They told me to come back in a week after I had driven 50+ miles and then they could do the inspection.

Beats me.

Happy birthday to the boys. 

good luck with the Drs. 

one of your persistant readers...robt

Things are really getting crazy with cars nowadays. I am still waiting for flying cars....

Robert's birthday  on the 27th and the twins on the 28th....weird...but, it has had some real tense moments as family decided that since they were so close together to celebrate all on one day...the 27th...which would cause sibling rivalry to come into play....

There will probably only be an exchange of phone calls as Robert just got married in June to a ready made family, she had two children..and Katie and I haven't even met them yet...

Her ex is in Colorado and they go between...I keep saying..."boy those must be some ugly kids that you must be too embarrassed to bring over here".. ::)

anyway, he's gotten real involved in being a Daddy' figure...Dewayne is always working. He is a manager of a Walgreens Pharmacy and is a workaholic.

Daniel is working construction in some other state, right now I think he is in Oklahoma....it changes, following the circuit...I thought he was going to work on an Oil Derrick in the Gulf outside of Houston, but, then we got a call from Oklahoma....I was glad, because drilling for oil is a dangerous job...lot of people get hurt...like losing body parts, and they call it an accident.. ::)

We keep telling him about the gas drilling going on here, with the Chesapeake Company..they have already sent notices and been having meeting with land owners ...apparently Fort Worth is sitting on top of this HUGE gas field...and if you own land, and the mineral rights,. .and your close enough to a gas pocket..woohoo....but then that is dangerous work too...

I keep thinking of a  song...'Hello in There'

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TSufO2FlpAQ&feature=related

There are some physic people in the world, or, they have some good computer programmers....mail run brought an advert from Rescue Rooter, with two coupons....now how did they know that we were needing a plumber?  Calling them tomorrow....

Was going to weed eat around the yard and ran out of wire. Couldn't find a package of two that I bought last month. I had it in my hand in the dining room....and now it's NO where to be found...I have been through everything, everywhere....except..

the basement...couldn't think why I would have put it down there, but, it wasn't up here...so I decided to give it a go and the key to the basement wasn't in it's designated spot. ???....I remember that I busted the seat out of my white shorts, so had thrown them away..and I started to think that I had thrown the key away....trash pickup was on Tuesday...I had mowed the front yard  and was in my camouflage pants..

turning all those pockets out netted me a big fat nothing....started looking in things...where the hell was that key?  After turning the house upside down...called Mom and stated that I needed a copy of her key to the basement...sigh...

Jw is still in the hospital. He has extreme anemia and they can't figure out where or why. Either he is losing blood somewhere they can't find, or his body has stopped making blood.

He has high levels of potassium which is affecting his kidneys so they are giving him Lacex to pee out the excess potassium...

...all this peeing has made him so dehydrated that he can't eat as he states that everything tastes like dust. Even giving him candy doesn't work....cannot keep moisture in his mouth. ...

I asked Mom if she's doing .ok, and stated that she is probably getting lonely being at home alone...

she said "lonely?..who has time to be lonely?...I'm tired"....




Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 11, 2008, 06:28:07 am
I hope you get some treatments and answers you need from your doc about your leg.  Can you see a specialist or go back to one.  I think DVT would be under cardiovascular or pulmonary specialist.  Good luck, you shouldn't have to suffer like this.

thanks OOD,
I'm guessing there must be some kind of protocol to get to the cardiovascular specialist. When I brought it up, DR G made referrals for an ECHO and the Pulmonary Stress Test...I guess that has to be 'ruled out' first before they send you to a 'higher power'....but I have been know to be a pain in the arrears.. ::) and will bring it up again and at every visit until it happens...
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 11, 2008, 03:00:11 pm
..*ring ring*..The phone started ringing e-i-e-i-eearly this morning...Those telemarketers are something else.

*ring ring* Then Katie's visiting nurse called and she will be here @4pm to draw Katie's blood.

*ring ring* Then Charlotte called and she has therapy so she won't be here today, BUT, she will come in on Saturday to make it up.

I called the Plumber and she stated that they would call back within two hours. That was at Noon...

at 12:10 *ring ring*  This is the plumber and I will be there within one hour

The kitchen sink is full of dirty dishes (no aide)....my bathroom is not presentable....

"Katie, get up, and take care of business"...I cleaned out from under my bathroom sink and scrubbed the toilet, after ..toileting.

Katie started to wash dishes.

15 minutes later....."Katie, the plumber is here."....

We seem to be running on a tight schedule here..all of a sudden...

I showed him my toilet and sink and there are two black streaks going down the wall....my freshly painted wall, I might add.."that's not good,, I'm going to have to get behind that wall"...

then took him to the kitchen sink....He started looking for a 'P' pipe...??...."huh?"..."There;s no "P" pipe..to control odors...

"It must be in the basement".."oh, you have a basement?".."yes"...

...then he reached under the sink and pulled back red hands...the faucet is rusted out and needs to be replaced....the whole 'shebang'....

I ran to my bedroo
m and popped open the Zantac....

He is writing up the estimate....

"I have these two coupons....can we combine them?"...he did.

"This is the total using a faucet off my truck...this is the total if you go buy one and have me install..."...@.@ 

I have never had any luck running to the Hardware Store and buying the cheapest thing on the bottom shelf. The threading will not fit or it will need a special adaptor to fit this 65 year old piping....

I make a management decision..."we'll take one off the truck". I figure if it don't fit, he'll have to follow the 'Picard directive' to 'make it so'... He brings in two models to choose from....Katie went all giddy...she loves to shop..

We decided on this faucet that you can grab a'hold of and the thing comes out in your hand and makes a sprayer.... o.o

We will have a hole where the old sprayer used to be, but that can be plugged up easily enough...I told Katie we could stick some flowers in it...
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 11, 2008, 10:46:36 pm
..and now, everything that looks like a pipe and has a hole now brings forth water, and everything that is a dark circle accepts the water and takes it away, and if I push done on the lever....the offering is accepted....

it only took him 4hours....he was a very nice young  man..cute in his own way..(actually everyone is cute if you look at them right) ..he gave a lot of discounts and did not charge for a lot of things he had to do....

He had to go to Lowe's/Home Depot  to get a special tool for the kitchen sink thus justifying my claims that if I had done this, I would have spent all day at the hardware store trying to ''make it so"...upon his return, he also had bought us a plug for the hole that would have been left where the sprayer used to be..no extra charge..what a sweetie pie...

After going into the kitchen and seeing him on his back under the kitchen cabinet sprawled on the floor in front of me...I had to exile myself to the living room and sit on my hands...

Katie's old bathroom used to be the worst as it had a flat sink that hung on the wall...very old stuff, tiny little faucets....the plumbers wouldn't touch it claiming that it wasn't up to CITY CODE to have such archaic plumbing....

besides, they couldn't find parts for something that old...over the years, and especially after the remodel, most of the piping in the basement is no longer this black cast iron looking stuff, but rather now is tidy, white PCP...

So we got a modern, new faucet in the kitchen:

(http://i24.tinypic.com/2zjcbx5.jpg)


Mom showed up to check on what her money was being spent on and to bring me another key to the basement...

JW has been moved from ICU and into a room.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: OutOfDarkness on July 12, 2008, 07:39:10 pm
Hi,
Funny you should mention a couple of things.  My refrig is on it's way out and can't get service for a few more days.  So I started wishfully thinking that maybe someone cute will be sent and it's been awhile since I have had an opportunity to flirt with someone. ;) I know exactly what you mean by everyone is cute in their own way, it's all in how you look someone, I agree with that totally.  So I will be living out of a cooler for the next few days.  Oh yeah, I have a faucet just like your new one, it pulls out and you can push a rubber pad to switch the type of pressure?  They're great to have and easy to wash your hair if that's all you need to do.

So you know how it is with all this medical stuff, we all really have to be able to take the time out for ourselves to study medical things, doctors are so busy all of the time and after all they are only human and may overlook something or may not have all of the up to date options.  Hang in there and take care.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 13, 2008, 12:01:57 am
Hi,
Funny you should mention a couple of things.  My refrig is on it's way out and can't get service for a few more days.  So I started wishfully thinking that maybe someone cute will be sent and it's been awhile since I have had an opportunity to flirt with someone. ;) I know exactly what you mean by everyone is cute in their own way, it's all in how you look someone, I agree with that totally.  So I will be living out of a cooler for the next few days.  Oh yeah, I have a faucet just like your new one, it pulls out and you can push a rubber pad to switch the type of pressure?  They're great to have and easy to wash your hair if that's all you need to do.

So you know how it is with all this medical stuff, we all really have to be able to take the time out for ourselves to study medical things, doctors are so busy all of the time and after all they are only human and may overlook something or may not have all of the up to date options.  Hang in there and take care.

Yes, pulls out and has a rubber pad switch...I had to give Katie a quick orientation this morning as she didn't know how to make it work.

Charlotte did not show up today, as promised. I guess her back gave out on her. I've been stuffing clothes in the washer, and I have my 'wonder' bottle of Mr Clean/Febreze .....I am really amazed at how this stuff can clean fabric...especially my computer chair, which I also sit in to eat, and you'd think I would learn to put a napkin in my lap as many time as I've dropped food between my legs...

next chair will be leather....just wipe clean... :-\

Katie had a bad case of the 'dropsies' ....I bought a Trail Mix that had these chocolate morsels and butterscotch morsels and they are tiny and like to leap in the air and land on the carpet....then they have the ability to blend into the carpet and turn invisible....

...they reappear as the wheels to the wheelchair run them over, leaving a lovely smudge...so I have the Mr Clean and the mop ready to mop the carpet before bedtime....this is a new trick for this old dog, introduced by former aide Cookie, who came bustling into the living room once after a spot on the carpet and I watched in amazement as it worked, the spot was gone.... 0.0

She has also tumped her tankard of water over so have to lift the vinyl carpet protector to make sure that the carpet underneath isn't damp...sigh...at least it missed the keyboard and hard drive.... :-\

She's bought a CD that says Blue Ray on it and it won't work in the CD player...it can't read it ???...This is a brand new Toshiba ..it should read everything ...you just can't keep up with technology.... :-\

Th visiting nurse showed up today, instead of yesterday, to draw Katie's blood. Katie hadn't been up very long and when she called and said that she was on the way, started drinking water to 'fluff' her veins. It wasn't enough and the lady couldn't find a producing vein  and after the third stick gave it up.

Then it turned out that she was the new Field Supervisor.. ??? ..and asked if there was anything Katie needed, and Katie was still foggy from the missed attempts, and her meds were still trying to kick in...and she vaguely mentioned chucks, diaper....

and she goes"oh, I have plenty of those in the back of my truck", and zippity do da...we have two cases of big blue chucks, and diapers and Katie gets giddy again as she LOVES to shop....

...so I'm trying to verify just who this person is who has just showed up today bearing gifts....and I ask "are you her new Case Manager?"...and no, but she seems to have these 'powers' and 'connections'...and now I'm reaching through a fog with Katie....

"can you do anything about this new wheelchair business?"..."YES".. o.o ...o.0

So we seem to have got hold of something here...maybe they just received this year's funding....and Katie's got her name and number programmed into the phone so we don't lose it....and we're definitely going to find out just how powerful this woman is who has just popped in from the blue

This has happened a lot lately. You go through some dark times, and then a ray of light breaks through. Then the clouds roll back in and another ray of light breaks through. I am trying to focus on the rays of light and not the dark clouds.


Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on July 13, 2008, 11:47:27 am
Well Ron....I am back from my "get away" to Cape May and will be around to remind you that your life is pretty damn good all in all.  And here is proof:  your angel in disguise... your new Field Supervisor.

"She's bought a CD that says Blue Ray on it and it won't work in the CD player...it can't read it ...This is a brand new Toshiba ..it should read everything ...you just can't keep up with technology.... "
quote Ron

Ron...this "CD"..... would it be a DVD actually?
 I heard that this is going to be like the old war between VHS and Beta.  You gots to have de right player for dem Blue Rays.
We had a BetaMax and then everything went VHS.....sigh.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 13, 2008, 12:18:14 pm
Well Ron....I am back from my "get away" to Cape May and will be around to remind you that your life is pretty damn good all in all.  And here is proof:  your angel in disguise... your new Field Supervisor.

"She's bought a CD that says Blue Ray on it and it won't work in the CD player...it can't read it ...This is a brand new Toshiba ..it should read everything ...you just can't keep up with technology.... "
quote Ron

Ron...this "CD"..... would it be a DVD actually?
 I heard that this is going to be like the old war between VHS and Beta.  You gots to have de right player for dem Blue Rays.
We had a BetaMax and then everything went VHS.....sigh.

well, at least I knew that it ended in a 'D'  :D
We still have beta tapes of the boys lives from birth to @4years old. When, 'let's look at old pictures mode hits', they would get depresed thinking that we didn't think much of them to not have pictures of them..have actually found someone who converted them to VHS (for a price)...

Now the boys are in awe and wonder as they demand to know who is that woman that is walking, and ??running?? and laughing..."yes, that's your mother, Katie, and yes she did walk and run, she was a PE Major"...
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 13, 2008, 12:24:05 pm
Well Ron....I am back from my "get away" to Cape May and will be around to remind you that your life is pretty damn good all in all.  And here is proof:  your angel in disguise... your new Field Supervisor.

"She's bought a CD that says Blue Ray on it and it won't work in the CD player...it can't read it ...This is a brand new Toshiba ..it should read everything ...you just can't keep up with technology.... "
quote Ron

Ron...this "CD"..... would it be a DVD actually?
 I heard that this is going to be like the old war between VHS and Beta.  You gots to have de right player for dem Blue Rays.
We had a BetaMax and then everything went VHS.....sigh.

oh, I forgot, Welcome back....it was sounding like y'all were having a pretty good time there.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on July 13, 2008, 12:31:24 pm
Hi Ron
Thanks for the welcome back.

Cape May was quiet.  In a word....no gay night life.  We had to make our own.
 Well, so  we played with costume jewelry and board games and laughed a bit.  But no gay bars and no dancing till 2 am.  Sigh....thats all a thing of the past for us,  ..... pretty much.  Anyway there are no gay bars in Cape May.
I may post a photo later.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 15, 2008, 03:50:12 am
Bought the replacement spool for the weed eater to replace the one that mysteriously disappeared...then sat around for two days as it was cloudy and I thought it was going to rain....it didn't.

Lined 5 bottles up next to the phone to call in refills. Sometimes it's all 7, some times 2...they just seem to get emptier faster these days, I could have sworn I just did this last week.

Somethings not right with my stomach. I can get a full feeling after just a couple of bites. I go ahead and eat, not believing how full I get from so little.

It has been so hot that I can feel it outside trying to get in. I also think that I am running a low grade fever as I feel hot and clammy, yet I know that the A/C is on and the fans is going..... 

I will be feeling all hot, then I will feel cool. Yet, it is in different areas, not all over. Early this morning I awoke and my left side of my face was warm, yet my legs and toes were freezing.

I stopped having night sweats after starting the Truvada/Viramune. So it must be some kind of fever....I feel clammy and my underarms will get moist so I have to change my shirt...

I feel 'oily' and I am constantly splashing water on my face as it feels dirty...

I have discovered a rough patch of skin on the side of my left foot (not the DVT side) and what's weird is that I can't see it...but I sure can feel it.

 Then Katie mentioned that she had a rough patch on her arm...same scenario...

We still haven't made it to get our haircuts. Have resorted to pulling out my hat collection. I never thought of it before as a collection, and never realized just how many hats I have accumulated.

I have an appointment with Dr G tomorrow.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on July 16, 2008, 04:29:38 pm
"We still haven't made it to get our haircuts. Have resorted to pulling out my hat collection. I never thought of it before as a collection, and never realized just how many hats I have accumulated."

Hi Ron...I was just wondering where you are today?  Out getting a haircut? Hope you're ok .
By the way.......Kurt and I invested in a pair of clippers and attachments and have learned how to cut each others hair.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Jeff G on July 16, 2008, 04:36:30 pm
Hey bear... I already pm'ed him and told him we need our Ronnie fix for the day .

I got one of those trimmers , its hard for me to use by myself . I have get someone to do the back for me every time . 
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on July 16, 2008, 05:31:59 pm
"We still haven't made it to get our haircuts. Have resorted to pulling out my hat collection. I never thought of it before as a collection, and never realized just how many hats I have accumulated."

Hi Ron...I was just wondering where you are today?  Out getting a haircut? Hope you're ok .
By the way.......Kurt and I invested in a pair of clippers and attachments and have learned how to cut each others hair.

Yeah.......Bob & I have a pair as well, we have been cutting and trimming each other(s) hair FOR YEARS, Bob uses them a lot more than I ever do
I'm BALD, but they work great as beard trimmers....................maybe Ronnie taking a break form posting  :o
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on July 16, 2008, 05:45:22 pm
It rained real hard here last night. The electricity was out for a while.
He could be busy ?

Of course just because it rained at my house doesnt mean he got any. He lives roughly an hour south west of my city.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 17, 2008, 12:02:25 am
My computer was hijacked by an insidious virus alert and a full system scan was called for....unfortunately these take HOURS...and use of the computer is absolutely impossible....

I haven't used my computer all day... after HOURS of waiting... the results:  it detected...nothing... >:(...typical

I swear sometimes it's just lonely....

I don't dare not let it do it's thing as I hate to think of the consequences...

So Monday I went to see Dr G and the place is PACKED....It took me 10 minutes just to get to the sign in book, and as I was signing in....the receptionist waves at me to just go down the hall to the left....

Dr G is to the right..??...must have looked helpless enough for her to ask "you are with the "Quit Smoking Group?"...."no, if I was here in a group, it would be the 'I Don't Smoke Group'...I'm here to see Dr G"...

After a 10 minute wait, my name is called along with a litany of 12 others and we are sent to reception area down the hall that has just opened to handle the overflow....So, I am standing in this line that is growing longer by the minute....and..

they open another overflow window and I am waved through a door and get to the receptionist....I hand her my letter confirming my appointment and she starts to talking nonsense.....I refocus and concentrate on her mouth that is repeating "this appointment is for AUGUST 15th....this is July"...??...I leave, very embarrassed and not worrying about my cognitive skills...or the lack thereof... :-\

so, I go to the store and when I get home, Charlotte has already left and I can't help but notice that the floor had not been vacuumed and the kitchen not mopped....I only notice it as...

Katie is at the computer and I sit on the arm of the couch and turn my leg to show the bottom of my foot which is turning black from walking on a DIRTY floor...Katie gets the message....then Charlotte gets the message....then Jessie gets the message.... ::)

So,today I go to my appointment with Dr D.. and it's a RL(Real Life) event and it happens. I get my new numbers which I have posted in the signature line and I appear to be doing pretty good.  :)

My blood pressure is still doing good  134/85  :)

My weight SUCKS....263....I have done nothing different..still eat the same amount of food and my belt is still at the third notch. (Last month it was at the 'suck in gut' first notch)  Then she notices that my foot and leg are really swollen and that part of the weight gain could be attributed to my edema....I'm retaining too much water...ergo, I'm drinking too much water....but, I'm so thirsty.... :-\ 

she has also noted that my shoulder appear to be broader, (to her) and that I could have some muscle gain, which could cause a weight increase...we have to ruminate on this weight thing....could be the meds....(need to look in mirror and check butt :D)

could be all of the above....

She gave me a new cream for the weird patch of dry skin on my foot..Triamcinolone Acetonide Cream. (I can pronounce it IF I have to)  :-\

Then decided I needed another TB test. I'm sitting there waiting for this 'prick' thing that I remember from the last time....in comes this girl and right off I notice that she is carrying an orange capped needle...which I am very familiar with from my drug days and I say "you've got a needle'....

and she says "Yes, it's for the TB test....so I shut down my brain and she turns my arm up and injects this stuff in my arm and I smell and taste it and it's just like when I used to shoot up with meth and I don't feel well....the taste is in my mouth and then I start bleeding....

and she gives me a cotton ball, and I start applying pressure, and I'm sitting there not feeling well...I don't know why....I have never had problems with drawing my blood, I will even show them where to stick it...but those are butterfly needles...it was just that orange cap and the color of whatever was in it, and the taste and smell....

I was dizzy and Jason came in and stopped me from applying pressure and had me dab at it until it stopped bleeding and kept asking if I was alright...and I finally pulled it together enough to function....

I have to go in Friday to show them my arm...PT/INR next week, and labs in three months....Dr D is very happy with my last lab results...I haven't thought about it, I can't get that orange cap out of my mind ....I stopped and bought a bag of pretzels to get the taste out of my mouth...

I can't believe my reaction to this shot. It has been too many years. I have told my story to people and groups and have never had nightmares or anything....I have been clean since 1988.

I got home and Katie had Jessie vacuuming and mopping so I would know that it had been done....all I wanted to do was lie down and go to sleep...










Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 18, 2008, 11:58:06 pm
Great.....my belly is itching, no bumps, just itching. My armpits are sore. I've been shot by an invisible arrow in my left shoulder blade. It hurts to pick up my left arm.

I have drafted a plan of action for today to make the best use of my gas mileage. Katie needs to stop at the bank. Then I go to PMC and get show my arm....TB test=negative.

Then we  finally go and get our haircuts.

I continue rubbing in this anti itch cream and now, I think that after two days, it is going to go away.

We get home at 3pm and I go straight to sleep and wake up at 630pm. Take meds and suffer the agony of cooking dinner. Once again, I swear I am allergic to the kitchen.  I wonder if my legs could just break off, they hurt so bad....after dinner we are watching 'Dr Who' and I realize that Dr Who was Barty Crouch Jr in a Harry Potter movie.


Katie has been taping season premieres using the TV in the bedroom and we have caught up on Saving Grace, Burn Notice, The Closer, and The Middleman.

I have discovered a show on the Discovery Channel  called 'Dirty Jobs' with Mike Rowe. I have always just skipped over it thinking that I wouldn't like it and ...I like it. What a cutie and he's funny. Reminds me of some of the things I've had to do to survive.  He has a favorite saying that I like.."I've been in some bad places....this is another one."

Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on July 19, 2008, 05:46:00 pm
I have discovered a show on the Discovery Channel  called 'Dirty Jobs' with Mike Rowe. I have always just skipped over it thinking that I wouldn't like it and ...I like it. What a cutie and he's funny. Reminds me of some of the things I've had to do to survive.  He has a favorite saying that I like.."I've been in some bad places....this is another one."


He is yummy
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 21, 2008, 01:08:51 am
The itching across my belly has finally stopped. I still have an ache in my left back shoulder blade.

I selected a hat to wear to the store. My hair has not grown out enough from the haircut on Saturday. They always ask "how do you want your hair?" and I always say "just a trim, I don't want to look like a chipmunk.."....

So, 'Chipmunk ronnie' is at the store, looking good in his hat,  and it is hot outside...100 degrees with promises of 101 for the next two days. I am still feeling the heat from outside and in contrast, my feet feel like I am walking on ice cubes...square, sharp, cold ice cubes....

One of the handicapped carts goes by with 3 children and mom and pop have abandoned it in the middle of the aisle looking at something.... :-\

I then remember the sensation of boiling water on skin, and that is more like what I am feeling in my feet. Not to be left out, my outer thighs turn to wood and I feel like a robot that needs a good oiling....I almost made the decision to stop and head for the truck, but was inspired down the furniture aisle, where I found this guy taking a good nap...ZZZzzzz..asnort... :-\

I decided to join him, pretending that I was checking out the comfort of a chair ::)

All of a sudden, it seemed that half the store had to come down this aisle and stare, so I got up, and as one of the lights had burned out in the refrigerator, headed for the light bulbs..and ...

there were no regular appliance bulbs...only the energy misers, in packages of three for $10.00...but guaranteed for 9 years.... I just knew that this would happen....forcing us to use these bulbs....oh, well, the fridge happens to have three lights, and they will all probably start blowing now that I have replacements...  >:(

..and boy was it hot....I got home and sat under a fan for twenty minutes, and went to sleep. Awoke and took my 6pm meds, which I have to remember to call in at least two RX tomorrow....I swear I called in 5 refills last week, but only got two....I wonder if the mailperson delivered HIV meds to a wrong address if they would be stupid enough to try them?..... :-\

You would think that that they would have you sign for delivery of stuff like that....but, I don't want to jeopardize getting mail delivery because it sure does save driving downtown and waiting.... :-\

So, when calling in I guess I'm going have to take a chance of shotting myself in the foot and ask if they sent the missing three out, as I did not get them.... :-\

Cooking dinner I was bent over getting a pan from down under and rising up got real dizzy and my sinuses started burning....Dizzy stopped, but the burn in the back of my throat didn't....

So, when sitting down to dinner, I wasn't feeling good and after two bite, food stopped going down, and I drank some green tea to help it down, instead I turned into 'old Faithful, and had to run to the bathroom and threw up. This was a surprise as I've been doing pretty good on the swallowing thing so have not been taking the Zantac....

I guess now, I will have to ..cannot get over the feeling that I got water up my nose for the duration of the evening...

The only thing on TV worth watching is 'In Plain Sight'....I just knew that her sister was making a play for the boyfriend, that drop dead gorgeous Raphael (Christian de la Fuente)....he was gorgeous with the long hair, and now the short hair, and ummm,umm,ummm,

http://www.usanetwork.com/series/inplainsight/video/







Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on July 21, 2008, 01:04:09 pm
I suppose you have said something about this in a previous post...but which do you have...dish TV or cable?  I am seeing a slowly but surely expanding offering of movies and some prime time shows on the ON DEMAND channel.

Hows the tummy today?
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 22, 2008, 01:39:13 am
I suppose you have said something about this in a previous post...but which do you have...dish TV or cable?  I am seeing a slowly but surely expanding offering of movies and some prime time shows on the ON DEMAND channel.

Hows the tummy today?

Hi Joel,

The Zantac is doing it's job.

We have cable. It is this in between time of season finales and season premieres.....they take so long...and we just go from famine to feast...

tonight we had both TV's going recording on different channels. We used to stay up after midnite watching everything...

now...we watch them during 'dry' periods...

I refilled my RX's today. then I 'took charge' of my care management and called the dentist again to see if they had hired a new dental technician...
They had, so I got an appointment for deep cleaning...and he did state that it would be 'intense'....@.@

...and that it would take two sessions so I was scheduled for another appointment the following week...and these are September 9th and 16th....oh great...I thought...

as I have my EKG scheduled for the 10th...I should be in an excellent state for that....

I'm supposed to check with my Dr  about if I need to stop my Warfarin for this procedure as he stated that they would be going pretty deep under the gums.. 0.0

I'm already thinking.."Yikes...maybe I should just do some extra flossing"....as this is starting to sound like it's going to HURT.....a lot....and he then states that he looking at my XRays and that my teeth look pretty good and that I probably won't need to stop the Warfarin...that I probably won't bleed too much...o.0

I hope they have a hammer, or laughing gas...lot's of gas...though I only remember hearing him say they would 'numb'.....I already know that that 'numb' don't work too well.....and he's reading my mind, and saying" you are going to come, aren't you?...cause these appointments are hard to come by"..

so, I agree to be there, thinking maybe If I find two straps they could strap me down so I don't hurt anyone...*-*  ..and I have almost two months to dwell on it....great




Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 22, 2008, 01:19:54 pm
ring..ring...ring...ring...no name, just a number...I don't pick up thinking it's a telemarketer and then a voice I recognize comes through on the answering machine. It's my little sister.

She never calls, especially at 8am...she should be at work...The message was "when's the last time you talked to Mom?"....I get nervous, and immediately dial Moms number and get a busy signal.

Redial and busy signal...redial...call operator and ask them to check the line.....Mom has changed to Carter through the cable com[any and ATT can't do it anymore??....

Katie is waking up as I am calling Terry. She can't get through either. JW was just moved to a Rehabilitation Center yesterday and is doing alright...to my knowledge. Terry is gettin a busy signal also....

I start getting dressed and head for Mom's while Terry calls Kindred Hospital/Rehabilitation. Mom is not there and there is no answer in JW's room. ..??..

Both vehicles are in the driveway. I ring the bell and thankfully see a shadow in the glass by the door. Mom answer the door in her house coat and slippers...."are you alright?"...she is on her cell phone talking to Charter...

Apparently they just had to reset her signal??...Everything is ok. JW is ok..they moved him to another room as they are remodeling and he was in a room that they were doing next.

My stomach is all in knots....my meds have kicked in full force and I can only hug her and say "you need to call your daughters....they are freaking out."...(as was I)....

We visited for two hours, and then she needed to take a shower and head out to visit JW...

On the way home I decide to have a Jack in the Box Ultimate Breakfast moment and pull in....I've got to get something in my stomach to mix with these meds...much better....



Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on July 22, 2008, 01:58:59 pm
I fixed my a BIG bowl of oatmeal ( Original kind...not that silly instant stuff) foe breakfast this morning cause my stomach has been in knots over ......finances. 
When my Mom was not doing well last year before she died.....I had to give up calling her phone number because she no longer was able to pick up the phone. If I wanted to speak to her I had to call the floor "desk" and get someone to put her on. She would be out wandering the halls or in some sort of hallucination and not pick up.  So....Ron..... be glad your Mom has the ability to use the damn cell phone........ and then be glad you are close enough to her so that you can hop in a car and check up on her.  AND be glad you have a car.  Oh I guess I had my little rant didnt I.
My Mom was 800 miles away. I couldnt just go check on her.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 23, 2008, 01:18:49 am
I'm sorry you no longer have your Mom.

I;m sorry you think I don't appreciate my Mom..

I'm sorry  my Mom is 72 and still has all her brain and body functions..and is still independent and living her own life...

Im sorry I still have money...

I'm sorry I have a car...

I'm sorry my family is close and loves me regardless of my HIV and being Gay...

I'm sorry that you think I am a spoiled brat who doesn't have anything to complain about....

I'm sorry, that I don't 'fit in' and meet your criteria to be here...

I'm sorry that all of the above is just starting to fall apart and that I have not experienced all that you have...yet...

Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on July 23, 2008, 10:23:09 am
Ron
We all have our baggage to carry around.  Since you feel its ok to show us some of your baggage .....and it IS ok to do that......I felt it ok to show some of mine.

I know you appreciate your MOM or you wouldnt have rushed over to check up on her.  I just wish I could have done that for my Mom.

Joel
modified to add: I( think what is at the core of my feelings and what I am trying to say is that you and I have so much compared to so many. You and I, Ron, are very lucky to have loving families and a roof over our head and so on.  I am still recovering from the loss of my Mom, so if I fly off the handle a bit, just ignore me.
and as for this:
quote you "I'm sorry, that I don't 'fit in' and meet your criteria to be here..."
nothing could be farther from the feelings I have for you Ron. I really respect what you have been through and what you are doing to help your sister.  You have more right to be here than I do.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 23, 2008, 01:50:35 pm
Joel,

We're good...

I just ran so many scenarios in my head driving over there, and then seeing both vehicles there ran a whole 'nother' set of scenarios each one getting worse....up to and including I thought that I was going to have to break in as I forgot my key....and my last scenario was her having slipped in the tub and knocking herself out...

which has never happened...but I have a very good imagination...

Mom is very healthy but she is 72, and I have only started seeing her that way in the past 2 months ....

"The disadvantage of reading something online is not seeing your face, or hearing your tone of voice as you are saying it...

reading about *your Mom*  and then  damn cell phone..hit a sequence of buttons in an order that you did not intend....


now..I've got to wake up Katie as the aide did not show up...again...and go have my blood drawn....

Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on July 23, 2008, 02:45:13 pm
Mom is very healthy but she is 72, and I have only started seeing her that way in the past 2 months ....   quote you
...............................................................
well...its hard to see our parents grow old and die.  It is entirely possible that your Mom will die before you do. Believe me I never thought I would outlive my parents. You know how it went...."You are HIV positive....you have 5 years tops to live...circa 1989".  So yea, its very very hard to readjust that view of things.  I hope your Mom lives a long time and you get to share wonderful moments .....its a real blessing to have her. 
And this:  The "damn" cell phone is a reference to how much I dislike cell phones....CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW! OPPS....dropped the call etc etc.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on July 23, 2008, 02:52:41 pm
Mom is very healthy but she is 72, and I have only started seeing her that way in the past 2 months ....   quote you
...............................................................
well...its hard to see our parents grow old and die.  It is entirely possible that your Mom will die before you do. Believe me I never thought I would outlive my parents. You know how it went...."You are HIV positive....you have 5 years tops to live...circa 1989".  So yea, its very very hard to readjust that view of things.  I hope your Mom lives a long time and you get to share wonderful moments .....its a real blessing to have her. 
And this:  The "damn" cell phone is a reference to how much I dislike cell phones....CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW! OPPS....dropped the call etc etc.

I lost both my parents over 20 yrs ago (1988) my Mom was 65, and my Dad was 75, I miss not having them around, but, the reality of any of this is, (if they were still alive TODAY) my Mom would be 85 and my Dad would 95  ??? my Dad was 44 yrs old when I was born, and my Mom was 33, so you can see how and why I outlived them  ;D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 24, 2008, 03:31:49 am
Mom is very healthy but she is 72, and I have only started seeing her that way in the past 2 months ....   quote you
...............................................................
well...its hard to see our parents grow old and die.  It is entirely possible that your Mom will die before you do. Believe me I never thought I would outlive my parents. You know how it went...."You are HIV positive....you have 5 years tops to live...circa 1989".  So yea, its very very hard to readjust that view of things.  I hope your Mom lives a long time and you get to share wonderful moments .....its a real blessing to have her. 
And this:  The "damn" cell phone is a reference to how much I dislike cell phones....CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW! OPPS....dropped the call etc etc.

Yeah, she's just always there when you need her...questions,  but no blaming....

I see those commercials on TV about dropped calls...I have never had a dropped call. I have a Nextel phone with Walkie Talkie and GPS that I used when I was working.....it doesn't have service now, but I kept it as I had  paid for it..I never like that GPS feature either...

we would come in the warehouse at the end of our route to restock and turn in money and they would pull up our route and there was a red line that showed exactly where you have been all day....it was accurate up to twenty feet...

one day I was late as I had to stop and get it inspected and they pulled up my route number and saw that I was outside the front door walking in...for some reason..that scares the hell out of me...

I use a Tracfone/prepaid....I only use it for emergencies. Only two people have the number...Katie and Mom. I'm not much one for talking on the phone while I'm driving or out in public.....

It used to irritate me when I would be stocking a machine and somebody would catch my attention to ask me a question. I would stop working and suddenly they would hold up their finger and be on the phone...with me standing there when I could have been working....

Or they come up to me and start a lively conversation, looking at me all the while and so I think they are talking to me and talk back and answer questions and they look at me and hold up that finger and then I see the earpiece...

You've probably heard the joke about the guy who went to the bathroom and was sitting in his stall and then he hears a voice "Hi, how are you?"....and though confused, you answer his questions and suddenly you hear..."I'm going to have to go now, some idiot is trying to talk to me  through our conversation."....I've been there....I've done it...and I wasn't embarrassed, I was mad....

edited for mucho typos...
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 24, 2008, 03:51:13 am
I lost both my parents over 20 yrs ago (1988) my Mom was 65, and my Dad was 75, I miss not having them around, but, the reality of any of this is, (if they were still alive TODAY) my Mom would be 85 and my Dad would 95  ??? my Dad was 44 yrs old when I was born, and my Mom was 33, so you can see how and why I outlived them  ;D

Hey Dennis,
good to hear from you.

Wow, life is so strange. When I was born my Mom was 16 and my Father was 17. There is only 16 years difference in our ages. I have had friends who were older than my Mom. I went to Jr. High School with my Mom's youngest sister, who was two years older than me.

I've got cousins out the wazoo. Some I've never heard of, but they've heard of me...I went to High School with Dane Moore and we were friends. At graduation, we were sitting by each other..alphabetical order..Moore/Myers....and in walked my Grandmother. I shouted out to her  "Grandmother"..as Dane shouted out...'Aunt Pinky"....??..Grandmother's maiden name was Moore...Dane and I were cousins..and I  didn't even know it...he had heard of me, but didn't know that I was me...
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 24, 2008, 04:57:21 am
I had my blood drawn for my PT/INR. I hate afternoon appointments. The parking lot was FULL. I had to park across the street and It was HOT and I had not brought my parasol  ::)

As my blood was filling the vial. it stopped and didn't fill it completely. I looked down and told her that she needed to pull back on the needle, that she was in too far for that vein....I know, I used to play with it years ago...

She didn't listen at first and gave me an explanation that the vials had compression that stopped automatically when it was at the right fullness to mix perfectly with the additive....and she popped a new vial  on...nothing...I had to sit on my left hand to not take over and again I said..:"just pull back a little"..and BINGO...a gusher...

Decided to pick up a few things at the store since I was there and I found myself in the Garden area..I have two planters on the front porch that I WANT to put Junipers that have been trimmed to look like they are spiraling up...*how elegant*

Well, those were $40.00....and up...so I walked on and saw these Rose bushes that didn't look too rosy for $10.00.....kept walking and say the trays of small flowers for $8.00 for like two little plants....walked out...

I have some packets of flower seeds in this house somewhere.....of course, I can't seem to find them at this moment....Katie thinks she might have given them to a previous aide...

But I did find the brushed stainless steel switchplate covers that I bought for my bathroom long ago and far away when I had repainted and cracked them putting them back on....My little electric screwdriver is a little more powerful than I had thought... ::)

..and, I don't like them.. :(

Before Daniel left on his working 'Tour' he had done some cleanup in the back yard and bagged all these leaves, dirt and twigs and they have been under the deck for months as they are HEAVY...

I decided to add dirt to the path on the side of the house as it washes away over time as it is a downhill slope...and put landscaping timbers across the path at intervals giving a tiered look and pull out the wheelbarrow and plop a bag in it, rip it open and start shoveling.....

being in the heat and rain in that plastic had done a better job than any compost pile I had ever done before...Used all the bags and my back wakes up and screams..."that's a shovel in your hand and you're performing manual labor"...not allowed..wrannnggranngrranngrangrangrang....ouchEEEE....

I was at it for an hour, which seems to be my time limit on doing anything  before my body starts to freeze up, swell up and loudly protest...

Now I am hopefully going to be seeing a cardio vascular specialist in September, I can now start..*.bitc*....*.complaining*...damnit, my back hurts....what. about my back?....I've been reading a lot about bone loss in long term HIV and I am taking calcium/magnesium, and I drink 1% milk.

We eat Chicken breast, skinless, boneless, brown rice and beans, soup (progresso, low sodium, low fat). I use that butter...Smart Balance...
My blood pressure is getting there...

I mimic Mary Ann Wilson RN on Sit and Be Fit every morning, work out in the yard, and am down to the third notch on my belt....and I am stuck..it has remained the same now for over two weeks with no more progress....

Last week I started making our portions just a little smaller...instead of a chicken breast for each, I cut one in half...(tea for two)...instead of a cup of brown rice, it's now one half cup...

and I am stuck...the scales won't go down....I have started doing push ups standing and pushing against the wall as my back will NOT allow me to lie on the floor...

There used to be a clothe line in the back yard, made of Iron ..looks like a jungle gym at the playground..one side was destroyed by a falling tree during a tornado....Daniel uses the remaining end to do chin ups......


after a careful look around to make sure nobody is around, I have grabbed hold and.....I can't even get myself off the ground...pitiful.

I still try now and then, as I think that curling up from the bottom tightens the stomach muscles better that sit ups...and I can't get on the floor....

Katie keeps saying to buy some Saran Wrap and wrap up in it to lose weight...0.0 ...??...o.0.....nope.





Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on July 24, 2008, 10:52:44 am
Katie keeps saying to buy some Saran Wrap and wrap up in it to lose weight...0.0 ...??...o.0.....nope.

It would just be water weight anyway. You'd get the same effect taking a water pill.
Saran wrap isn't very comfortable to walk around wearing.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on July 24, 2008, 11:36:37 am
Gushers?  Yikes.  I keep thinking if it was oil (instead of blood) you'd be rich!  ;D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on July 24, 2008, 01:42:56 pm
Gushers?  Yikes.  I keep thinking if it was oil (instead of blood) you'd be rich!  ;D

Yeah, no shit.....if I would have invested in Oil  or Microsoft 10 or 15 yrs ago, I'd be Rich right now, what a fool I was back then, but then again, if my Mother had nuts, then, she be my father instead of my mother  ??? LOL!  too bad there is no such thing as a DO OVER  ;D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 26, 2008, 01:55:47 am
My Aunt Jeannie died today..cancer.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 26, 2008, 05:52:54 am
  Mom had 1 brother., Uncle Sonny...his real name was Ed, but everyone called him Sonny. He was in the Army for awhile, and then he got married to Aunt Jeannie and they lived in Miami. ...This was also the time Elvis was in the army and Aunt Jeannie either dated or had a date with Elvis...I'm not certain on the details.

I liked Miami..lots of palm trees..not the same as trees in Texas and Michigan...exotic is what they were...special trees for special places...

Mom glares at ronnie and his camera....remember tree/people rule. ...yes mam..On a vacation to Michigan, by car, I had used two double rolls of film on ...trees...no people, just trees I had thought were beautiful.

After returning home, I took one roll to be developed, and it was $20.00 and Mom had a fit.."What's with all the trees?...Where are the people?" She then made a rule ...no more pictures of trees unless there was a person standing  by the tree.

ronnie hides other double roll of undeveloped film....of trees.....*there are a lot of trees between Texas and Michigan*

Uncle Sonny and Jeannie moved to Houston.....so now we would go to Galveston beach and spend the whole day with the never ceasing wind and the roar of the waves and I liked it...These are the memories I have of her, and I always refer to her as a one unit entity with Uncle Sonny.

By that I means, every time I think of Sonny, I think of Jeannie...Sonny and Jeannie....I do this with all my relatives, if married...and I always think of them with Houston and Galveston Beach....

"Mom?  Why don't we live here?"...ronnie wants to move to exotic place with exotic trees....."ain't happening"....yes mam...

.I would build sand castles and make moats and tunnels and have water come in and fill tunnels and moats and then have to do damage control to turrets and walls and keeps ronnie occupied all day and ronnie likes it...

One year, my Aunt Fay and cousins came from Michigan.  So, we went to Waco and my cousins had a good time discovering the trailer park and the storm cellar and the mail room....and getting to visit with their Grandparents and of course, Aunts Sue and Tresa.

Then we went to Houston and visited Sonny and Jeannie.  and had a big family outing in Galveston on the beach, which is nothing like Lake Michigan because it is the Gulf and it is windy and there are waves and the water is salty.

I showed them how to body surf, which is surfing a wave using your body instead of a surfboard and collecting sea shells and how to turn 'brown as a nut' (Katie and I had made our own concoction of tea and baby oil)

Then I successfully cleared the water by pointing out jelly fish and 'large, suspicious dark shapes' which could be sharks or dolphins (there is supposed to be a way to tell them apart, I never learned as the minute I saw anything suspicious I was out of the water.)

 But then I showed them how to scoot their feet in the sand which was supposed to scare anything in the water away. (I did a lot of scooting)

Then when the sun went down and it cooled a little, you realized just how burned you were because you were HOT, and then depending on how bad it was ...you burned and blistered....but that was part of going to the beach...

Uncle Sonny worked for Motorola and had two houses...one in Houston and one in Lafayette, Louisiana...had three children, two girls and 1 boy....Uncle Sonny had a Helicopter he used to commute between Houston and Lafayette....Uncle Sonny is a busy man.

They used to have a house in Waco  and Aunt Jeannie would watch us while Mom worked....we sort of made the rounds...you go to one place for awhile and then they need a vacation from you so you go to another place....good thing we had a lot of relatives....

Aunt Jeannie loved Dr Pepper and just like the old bottles had the clock on them with 10-2-4 on them she would have to have a Dr Pepper at 10, then 2 then 4....it was a ritual...ronnie would have to go to the neighborhood store and buy Aunt Jeannie Dr Pepper and cigarettes....*back then they did not care who bought what just as long as you bought* 

Jeannie smoked a LOT of cigarettes, and drank a LOT of Dr Pepper. I would help her clean house by emptying the ashtrays and putting them in a sink of soapy water, and picking up all the toys we had dragged all over the house.

We would play in the back yard, where they had a banana tree,( yes, in Waco, Texas)....and we were FORBIDDEN to go anywhere near it.
Sometimes we would entertain her by wrestling....actually, I think  it was her way of letting us be mad and fight and burn up some energy, only in a controlled way....Katie and Terry were the best as Aunt Jeannie would laugh, and laugh until tears came to her eyes watching them.

They had a big Motorola TV.....that was a given since he worked for them...and she had the coffee table parked in front of it to keep my cousin Julie, who was still in diapers and learning to walk and turn knobs, and stick things in slots, away from it. ....

Cartoons were always on and we would watch The Roadrunner, and Bugs Bunny, Bullwinkle and Rocky J Squirrel, and then she would have to watch Lloyd Bridges in 'Sea Hunt' and some 'Mr Science Show',  'To Tell the Truth' and then Mom would be there to take us home.

edited for inevitable typos
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Jeff G on July 26, 2008, 09:06:40 am
I'm sorry to hear about your aunt , those are some fine memories . My mom has 8 sisters and 2 brothers that I love very much , I think I will call a few of them today and tell them so .
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on July 26, 2008, 10:46:27 am
  Mom had 1 brother., Uncle Sonny...his real name was Ed, but everyone called him Sonny. He was in the Army for awhile, and then he got married to Aunt Jeannie and they lived in Miami. ...This was also the time Elvis was in the army and Aunt Jeannie either dated or had a date with Elvis...I'm not certain on the details.



I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your aunt , those fine memories, will last you FOREVER, it's all we have when someone has passed away , ronnie you know your auntie is in a much better place now  ;)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on July 26, 2008, 11:02:33 am
Ron.....................Sorry to hear that your Aunt has passed away.  The memories are sweet.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 26, 2008, 12:15:15 pm
Thank you all for your responses. I know she is in a better place. Nothing is simple...she was dealing with other symptoms as well as the cancer and was in a lot of pain.

Looking in the address book, I am noticing as I flip the pages, lots of ..'deceased'..entries by a lot of names.

I am getting old. So is everyone else. Life stops... life goes on....

I remember taking my 6am meds. It was dark outside and I had to turn on a light.

Then I was awakened by the ringing of the phone and the special 'ditty' that has been designated for Mom and ...

Today we are celebrating the boys birthdays. Robert will be 30 and the twins 27. It is 10 am and Mom will be here @2-3pm.

...the couch is calling... the house is clean, Katie already has gifts...I don' buy them cards. The only cards they are interested in are from Mom with their monetary gifts....

maybe just a quick nap...I am so sleepy...
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: OutOfDarkness on July 26, 2008, 09:10:05 pm
Hi Ron,
Sorry to hear about the loss of your aunt.  I lost my grandmother this year.  When we knew my grandmother was not going to be with us for much longer, all of these really wonderful memories came rushing in to remind me of what an important presence she had in my life.  It was in her home and my Grandparent's presence that I sought peace and solace from my abusive surroundings.  I am so very lucky to have them in my life. 

Thank  you for sharing your memories, you have a great way of writing about things.  I enjoy reading your posts.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on July 26, 2008, 09:25:23 pm
Sorry for your loss. I hope she had a long and happy life.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 27, 2008, 08:15:58 am
The doorbell woke me up. It was Mom with this HUGE box of like 30 cup cakes. Where she finds these things, I never know. I do know that she was the first one to bring a sugar free cake she had baked using honey....

..and it passed the boys inspection and was devoured.  So, The Birthday's  began....

 Dewayne arrived with Chera and McKayla. MacKayla had to let me know that on her next Birthday she was going to be five. They had also arrived hungry as Chera and Katie had already communicated that part of his gift was dinner at 'The Olive Garden"....

(http://i37.tinypic.com/mu9ws5.jpg)

McKayla stated that she liked The Olive Garden's breadsticks, and that though she would be full of their breadsticks, if you ate her, she wouldn't be crispy....we had given her a doll for Christmas that drinks tea and talks...she stated that she couldn't find 'Chip'....Chip is the teacup with a crack on the lip......
.we had also given her a tent that looks like a castle and Dewayne stated that it was probably in the castle somewhere. & our little princess, just may be a wee bit spoiled* ::)

(http://i34.tinypic.com/6tmjvr.jpg)

Chera refused to have her picture taken as she is pregnant and feeling 'fat'....so we have a pic from a few months ago...when they went to Sea World..

(http://i20.tinypic.com/2d8gwty.jpg)

A remarkable feature about Chera is that where our eyeballs are white, hers are blue.....

Then Daniel showed up. He had been on the road from Oklahoma and had been visiting his 'Buddies' and played a round of Disc Golf. He has been working construction and we all know how hot it's been. He had a true 'redneck'   Katie insisted that he pull his cap up to show his face.

So, he got to show his workman's tan:

(http://i34.tinypic.com/ta4mds.jpg)

a better pic of Daniel

(http://i20.tinypic.com/f592mq.jpg)

Daniel with his oldest son, Destin

(http://i20.tinypic.com/iejk9f.jpg)

We haven't seen Robert yet, but he works on Saturdays and is busy.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on July 27, 2008, 12:31:50 pm


Then Daniel showed up. He had been on the road from Oklahoma and had been visiting his 'Buddies' and played a round of Disc Golf. He has been working construction and we all know how hot it's been. He had a true 'redneck'   Katie insisted that he pull his cap up to show his face.

So, he got to show his workman's tan:

(http://i34.tinypic.com/ta4mds.jpg)

a better pic of Daniel

(http://i20.tinypic.com/f592mq.jpg)



DANG Ronnie................ Daniel looks like a younger version of YOU, it's kinda creepy the resemblance, don't cha think?  ;D
nice pictures of your family by-the-way.............you're making me Home SICK for Califronia and my Twin Sister and her family  :-[
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on July 27, 2008, 12:40:54 pm
DANG Ronnie................ Daniel looks like a younger version of YOU, it's kinda creepy the resemblance, don't cha think? 
nice pictures of your family by-the-way.............you're making me Home SICK for Califronia and my Twin Sister and her family 
..................................
you beat me to it...I was going to say the same thing.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 27, 2008, 02:46:42 pm
DANG Ronnie................ Daniel looks like a younger version of YOU, it's kinda creepy the resemblance, don't cha think?  ;D
nice pictures of your family by-the-way.............you're making me Home SICK for Califronia and my Twin Sister and her family  :-[

..aaand...even thought they hadn't seen or talked to each other for months, just to show how these two twins work...they both showed up in red T-Shirts.....just sayin...... :D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on July 27, 2008, 02:58:57 pm
You guys beat me to it.
Daniel could be your child you two look very much alike.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 28, 2008, 04:25:53 am
You guys beat me to it.
Daniel could be your child you two look very much alike.

Yeh, He's heard it all of his life. When I started getting involved in their lives, Bobby's family would meet me for the first time and they would remark....'now,  we see which side of the family Daniel takes after'....

I used to joke with him that "yeh, it's a curse that you were born with my good looks"  :D

When I had my Vending business he worked with me for awhile and everyone believed him to be my son:

They're father and son,
they get the job done...

..and the women school bus drivers at the Main Terminal where I had 6 machines, would not believe otherwise...."where's your son?"....

Well, Robert is not having a good birthday. He is 30. He states that he feels old.

He just got married in June, in Las Vegas:

Robert and Paulette

(http://i23.tinypic.com/33xx850.jpg)

Well, now he's married and sharing a bed has brought to light a 'problem' ....he snores....loudly....stops breathing in his sleep... a lot...Katie knows the drill, she has the same problem..and he is now on oxygen. Katie immediately asked "which number is the machine on?".....

When he said "11" and he wears a full oxygen make, Katie was in shock. "That's a lot" she is now concerned about her baby boy.

 Katie's looks kinda like a gas mask...but her machine is on some lower number "4"...so now her maternal instincts are turned on....

...and he hurt his back. He is doing some light remodeling, like removing the breakfast bar. He is a mechanic and is used to doing the 'impossible' and playing 'Super Mechanic' ....oh,  those nuts and bolts that REFUSE to come off...well...he gets them off.....

..so he is in pain and if it doesn't stop soon promises to go to the doctor. *Katie's maternal instincts are 'on full' now,  and she's ready to put that wheelchair in 4th gear and head over there....it's just down the road* ...

Robert immediately tells her that he is doing fine...stay home.... :-*

I've been plagued by a rash behind my knees and the back of my calfs. Little tiny bumps that itch like hell. I am rapidly emptying that tube of cream the Dr gave me. It's worse when I'm elevating my leg and the material from the blanket seems to make it itch. I can't sleep on my stomach, it makes my back hurt,

When I lie on my side, my arms go numb...so my best option for sleep is on my back. *Katie thinks that I need that sleep test also*  I picture family coming to town and staying over and running in terror from the house at bedtime as we all don our oxygen masks  ::)

Two days ago the rash was on my belly and on my inner arms. It seems that an area clears just to have it move to another.  :-\

While watering the yard, I stepped on a twig/branchelette from the pecan tree and it scraped my swollen ankle..left a scratch mark, .no blood, but it's hurting and itching...

more cream.... ::)







Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on July 28, 2008, 11:16:57 am
Quote Ron: " It's worse when I'm elevating my leg and the material from the blanket seems to make it itch.
Two days ago the rash was on my belly and on my inner arms. It seems that an area clears just to have it move to another. "
...........................................
Ron.....I have similar problems and have found relief by wearing only 100% cotton TShirts and making sure I have a cotton bath towel under my bare legs while lying around watching TV.  Do me a favor and check the labels of your TShirts, if they are a cotton "blend" with something else ....try 100% cotton and see if there is a difference.  Also, I find using certain laundry detergents make me itch. Good luck.

Joel
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 30, 2008, 07:46:48 am
Quote Ron: " It's worse when I'm elevating my leg and the material from the blanket seems to make it itch.
Two days ago the rash was on my belly and on my inner arms. It seems that an area clears just to have it move to another. "
...........................................
Ron.....I have similar problems and have found relief by wearing only 100% cotton TShirts and making sure I have a cotton bath towel under my bare legs while lying around watching TV.  Do me a favor and check the labels of your TShirts, if they are a cotton "blend" with something else ....try 100% cotton and see if there is a difference.  Also, I find using certain laundry detergents make me itch. Good luck.

Joel

Thanks Joel,

My 'undies' are 100%. We have used the same detergent for 10 years. Checked to mae sure the aide had not changed the settings on the washer. I always use the extra rinse cycle. They sometimes reset to their preferences and we have to retrain them on 'our ways'
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 30, 2008, 07:50:12 am

JW fell at the Rehabilitation Center. He stated that he doesn't know why he did it. His knee had stopped hurting and he just decided to get up.

He had also forgotten that he was effectively 'tied' to his bed by oxygen tubes and his catheter. So, down he went.

No broken bones. Only wounded pride.

I decided to go to the store early in the morning instead of late afternoon. and beat the crowd and heat. Well,... I beat the crowd.

Was looking for flower seeds and finally gave up and asked where they kept them and was told that they don't carry flower seeds anymore. 0.0

I bought a small bag of Bermuda grass seed. I couldn't find any St Augustine grass seed. There isn't any. @.@

I googled it and sure enough there isn't any St Augustine grass seed available.... anywhere.

I took out the weedeater and spot cut anything that had tried to grow at the curb and mowed the front yard.

Then I threw my grass seed about, and set about to waiting and watching for it to grow.

Still waiting and watching. I water in the morning and in the evening.

After buying chicken I noticed there was a sale on fish. I have avoided this as I have never cooked fish before.

It was Telapia Fish and it was this BIG, HEAVY blue box on sale for $11.00 so I got it.

So, Tuesday dinner, I get brave and open the box. It is FULL of these fish fillets that are individually wrapped. Looking at them, they seemed small, so my stomach's eyes said to cook four.

Mom had given several suggestions on cooking so I decided o... in a pan on the stove top, using Smart Balance butter.

Mom had stated that they would not take long to cook, just until they 'flake'...@.@  ..ok....

So I get the brown rice going and the bean chimichangas with jalapenos, and some zesty gumbo soup, and then I put the fillets on to cook.

They sort of cooked like the chicken breasts, but when I went to turn them with my turning fork, they refused to cooperate so I had to get this 'special tool' that Katie had got that was like tongs, only one side was a spatula and the other forked....

...well the fish went right in the middle and I grasped and turned. I'm starting to notice that the smell isn't like the smell of cooking chicken ....

Then, the definition of 'flaky' becomes clearer as it is falling apart...I was thinking of flaky as in a croissant roll, or some pie crusts, and now,  as in falling apart...

Anyway, we ate it, and it was good....kinda bland...Katie put her 'Jessie Hall' garlic salt free seasoning on it and ate away...

We got 'fullfullfull' and might just have to only cook one fillet each..despite my stomach's eyes stating that two will be needed....

So, now we're into the benefits of eating fish with it's omega 3 oils and it's good for your eyes and skin and brain....

...and I'm sitting and digesting waiting for the beneftis of eating omega 3 oils in fish to appear as we are watching TV...

Finally, Eureka season premiere and Saving Grace....

still waiting for the benefits of eating fish to appear...I have to go back to the store as I forgot to put soup on my list...

My itching has disappeared,  as the bumps. It was suggested to check my undies and such for 100% cotton vs a cotton blend, and that some detergents cause a rash...

We haven't switched detergents, still liquid Wisk....The washer is still set on extra rinse...

The Dr states that the HIV meds have a side effect of rashes and to keep using the cream and let her know if it DOESN'T go away....

ALRIGHT...thunderstorm brewing, finally..I might not have to water the yard this morning...

...sits waiting for rain to water grass seedlings....I was watering the yard yesterday evening, and people were taking their evening constitutionals for health and I suddenly got hit by the...I'm officially 'old' as I am having the neatest and greenest yard on the block....

Only people with time on their hands have time to do picture perfect yardwork....might as well put up a sign...
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on July 30, 2008, 11:24:02 am
It seems silly but I'm just tickled pink it is sprinkling outside and its only 81 degrees.  ;D
If I decide to go anywhere the car shouldn't be an easy bake oven.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 31, 2008, 03:33:48 am
It seems silly but I'm just tickled pink it is sprinkling outside and its only 81 degrees.  ;D
If I decide to go anywhere the car shouldn't be an easy bake oven.

HAHA...try putting a cooler of partially melted ice in the middle of the car seat. Then have it tump over in the seat on you...you will be cool....for awhile...

We had another thunderstorm this evening, but it didn't net much in the way of precipitation.  :-[

..just enough that I didn't have to water....

Tomorrow July 31st,  is JW's birthday. He will be 73.

="http://i225.photobucket.com/remix/player.swf?videoURL=http%3A%2F%2Fvid225.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fdd244%2Frondron%2F4ba3b103.pbr&amp;hostname=stream225.photobucket.com">


edited to add...JW has a collection of gag gifts of 'butts'....such as a little outhouse and you open the door and  "OOPS" there is someone standing there and his britches are going up and down exposing his butt...etc.....
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 31, 2008, 10:47:15 am
sigh....where oh where is my mind?....

I'm meeting Mom at the Rehabilitation Center. An MRI has shown that the fall JW took the other day fractured his hip. He is going to be moved back to the hospital today...

...and ..she reminded me that JW is 86 today not 73....she will be 72 on Aug 18th. ...@.@

 hope I don't get lost on the way to the hospital... :-\





Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on July 31, 2008, 01:36:56 pm
I love the "butt" jokes!  I hope JW does well in the hospital.  Any plans for the weekend Ron?
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on July 31, 2008, 03:09:52 pm
sigh....where oh where is my mind?....

I'm meeting Mom at the Rehabilitation Center. An MRI has shown that the fall JW took the other day fractured his hip. He is going to be moved back to the hospital today...

...and ..she reminded me that JW is 86 today not 73....she will be 72 on Aug 18th. ...@.@

 hope I don't get lost on the way to the hospital... :-\

Perhaps yours went on vacation with mine. LOL  It happens
If all else fails blame it on having too much HIV in your brain at the moment.
The card was cute.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on July 31, 2008, 11:56:31 pm
I love the "butt" jokes!  I hope JW does well in the hospital.  Any plans for the weekend Ron?

He's got another one with an outhouse ( he has a thing for outhouses) and it's bigger than a bread box. He will snigger and tell you to open the door. You open the door and this figure, drops his pants and turns and whizzes on you.....JW is on the floor by now...he loves his gags....

I thought I was getting to Kindred Care Rehabilitation early. I saw Mom's 'Yukon' parked upfront and there was an ambulance in the front door.

I got to the third floor and rounding the hall, saw a lot of activity. Three Medstar hunks were wrapping JW up in the bed sheet like a big 'ol burrito and moving him onto a guerny.

I had to get in his line of vision for him to see me, and I wished him a Happy Birthday....well, really, looks like a kinda sucky birthday....

Then we had to tackle his Lazy Boy Leather Recliner..Jw doesn't sleep in bed any more....(sounds familiar)...

He has a series of sleeping spots he roams to throughout the night....(still sounds familiar)...

Before he fractured his hip, he would get up in the night and get in his recliner.....now, we needed to get it back to the house as Harris Hospital frowned on redecorating their rooms..

Found maintenance and a dolly and it really got a lot of compliments from staff..."that sure is a nice big recliner"...I started to wonder if we weren't moving it right now, would it have disappeared?

I also began to think it should not be called a recliner but a mini loveseat.....this thing is huge....I broke a sweat...

So, we got it in the back of my truck and strapped in, and we got it to the house and BOY was it hot...I was really seating now, I have already added the moving of the recliner to my cardio tally sheet for the day...

Mom went on to Harris Hospital as she now has to sign 500 forms...they have to decide to either replace the hip or let it heal....

I had to call the pharmacy as I still haven't received my Rx's I called in on Friday and was assured that they had been mailed yesterday....

I'm going to have to remember to talk to Dr about making that 2mg warfarin bottle 100 tabs instead of 30 tabs...being on 9mgs daily uses two of those suckers at a time and that bottle seems to be empty eveyrtime I open it...

Then I put in a call to my Case Worker at AOC and left a message that I am now ready to be added to the Food Pantry....sigh...just trying to stretch things here until I get 'judged' by SSA...

I've decided to tackle the deck. I hosed it down and it really needs a good scrubbing. I need to replace a board that the kids broke by climbing on the bannister to get in the oak tree growing nearby....the had a Halloween party one year and hung all these ghoulish masks in the branches and a skull of a steer....

I had to hound them for almost two years to get back up there and take them down..(this is an old oak tree, very tall and twisted) .they thought it was 'cool'

I also noticed I had 'ring around the bath tub" on the shingles of the wall at the bottom where rain water had splashed dirt up and I used my hand to rub some of it...

I discovered that grasping the water hose too hard for too long will numb my hand and fingers and set them to tingling...I was scared that I had disturbed an ant nest at first...but, no, it was good 'ol PN....

So, I need to find this bucket with a tire brush in it that I used to wash my work truck with...it's either in the garage or the basement....but I need that brush to scrub the walls and the deck.....

I would love to put up some latticed panels and paint the whole thing white....but for now....I just need to get it clean...it's been years since I even set foot on it...sort of had it on 'ignore'.....




Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on August 02, 2008, 11:51:31 pm
Robert called and he is coming by to get his Birthday card. He looked tired. Katie says he looks happy.

(http://i23.tinypic.com/eu59wg.jpg)

His rider mower has died, and is past any additional help in the fix-er-up department...it's officially... dead.

He has a push mower, but though his back is feeling better, he states that the grass is about waist high.


...and when did this happen?

They have some goats, but he needs the grass from the front yard to feed the two horses. @.@

How tight-lipped can you be?

I know that he now has two step children. Is this his way of making them at home? Paulette has an EBay Home Business. She sells 'Vintage Items' Supposed to have a store somewhere. The garage is like a store warehouse.

Can you get animals on EBay? Did she 'Make a Deal?" on EBay?

Talk about the things we do for love....;\

He has the horses in the dog pen until he gets the back yard completely fenced and then he will need to make them some kind of shelter.

I don't know 'nuttin' about the goats. What happens after they've cleared the land of undergrowth? Do they give milk? That you can drink? What has Robert gotten himself into?

Mom called and ....

JW was given a partial hip replacement today. It was supposed to only take a few hours and wound up being an all day ordeal.

Mom has been there the entire day and is absolutely exhausted. She has her 'at the end of the day' summary:

*the surgery is over
*he survived it
*he's in recovery for the next three days
*he will be moved back to Kinder Care Rehabilitation for physical therapy
*he can come home

***now go home and get some rest Mom***
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on August 03, 2008, 11:27:38 am
Hi Ron
What a way to spend the weekend!  I am glad that things went well in surgery....now the real job starts.  Recovery and rehab Take a long time.
Be well and take care.

Joel
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on August 03, 2008, 11:42:33 am
he states that the grass is about waist high.


Its amazing his grass is growing at all. 104 - 107 temperatures.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on August 04, 2008, 03:19:56 am
Hi Ron
What a way to spend the weekend!  I am glad that things went well in surgery....now the real job starts.  Recovery and rehab Take a long time.
Be well and take care.

Joel

Yeh, and Mom is going to get the brunt of it all. I have been surprising her lately by showing up instead of calling....

Now I'm thinking of letting Robert have the riding lawn mower Mom was going to give to me. I can't get it in the yard. The gates are not wide enough. The back garage door would work if the frame was taken out.... :-\

**ronnie hatches a diabolical plot...this is a Cub Cadet tractor mower....in the shed is a Zero Turn .... 8)  and Mom has just hired a yardboy so she won't be needing that Zero Turn ....drool, drool.....*****

The Cub Cadet TRACTOR mower  could be considered a kinda 'redneck' wedding gift... ::) (Sears has a gift registry). ::)

...and I COULD drive it through where the fence is down in the back...just have to come up through a driveway/possible street and would have to move that pile of tree branches and logs that I have been dragging out of the yard...

..all this thinking ...and my head hurts....literally..I have these bumps that have appeared on my scalp and they HURT when touched.. .like you are looking in the trunk and stand up and hit your head HURT....in my hairline around my ears and on top where you would have a side part...

last summer, it got so bad from the itching and oozing and flaking...this was before I re registered with ASO....I discovered that Head and Shoulders gave instant relief from the itching and it finally went away.

This isn't itching, but sure does HURT when touched....noticed it when brushing my hair and as the bristles ran across my scalp...ooh,ooh,ooh....OUCH...

I have a DR appointment on Thursday.....another thing to add to my list....

*Rash..That was .on arms, legs, belly ... now on scalp. It will probably be cleared up by the time I get to see DR.  I'm pretty much screwed because I can't mix antihistamines with Warfarin...all I get is this cream...
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on August 04, 2008, 04:23:39 am
Its amazing his grass is growing at all. 104 - 107 temperatures.

He has an irrigation system. Plus, the Trinity River is across the street. And there are a LOT of trees on the property.

The front yard is pic on the left. Across the street, all those cars are in a parking lot. Fort Worth Auto Auction bought Gus's vegetable patch. The tree line in the back runs along the levy and the Trinity River. In the even further distance is Downtown Fort Worth...to the right of that little truck was another house that used to be Granny's Antique Shop, and another driveway.

On the right is a view of the back yard from the patio. The bottom pic is in snow...at the top of the hill is a well. This is where the horses will live.

(http://i20.tinypic.com/2637y1c.jpg)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on August 04, 2008, 10:18:41 am
I rode by some auto auction place Billy said its the poilce impound we went by when I went to work with him one day last week. East Northside is the name of the street I think.
We also went over the Trinity river so I thought it might be the same area.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on August 05, 2008, 07:08:26 am
I rode by some auto auction place Billy said its the poilce impound we went by when I went to work with him one day last week. East Northside is the name of the street I think.
We also went over the Trinity river so I thought it might be the same area.

Fort Worth is notorious for having one street, that has two to three names....Northside Dr becomes University Drive when it crosses Jacksboro Highway. I live off Jacksboro Highway (which is also Highway 183 and then becomes 377) off River Oaks Blvd (which is also Epipheram and then 28th St)  :-\

When out of towners stop and ask for directions, I usually use landmarks as trying to convince them that the road they are looking for, is the road they are on... ::)

The Trinity River is very long and winds all over the place. The Bass Brothers have been diligently giving Fort Worth a face lift and makeover and have made bicycle/jogging/walk your dog/skating,  paths along the entire river....

They have built condos and apartments downtown extending into the Arts District, converting some of the major landmarks into  Urban Villages. . One they have almost completed is the Montgomery Ward  building...

(http://i34.tinypic.com/2uqk86q.jpg)

(http://i38.tinypic.com/mhakpv.jpg)

the first floor is restaurants, shops, and the rest has been converted into condos. There is a Super Target, and other stores in the back where the parking lot and warehouse used to be. It's hard to believe that Mom would take us here to go for 'back to school shopping'

(http://i34.tinypic.com/2zxuvc8.jpg)

here is a link on the construction from the beginning.

http://www.fortwortharchitecture.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=298&st=0

School will be starting soon. They already have school supplies in the store. I just xouldn't find the energy to go to the store on the regularly scheduled Friday/Saturday. In fact, I have been asleep all day, every day, and Katie has to wake me up to take 6pm meds.

I then go outside for an hour and do something to break a sweat. The deck is looking pretty good. It is covered in some black substance which I suspect is from the oak tree which hangs over it.

The bricked area under the deck is covered in dirt...now mud...and I will probably have to shovel it....

My grass seed is growing...It looks like one of those Chia Pets, you press seeds in and water...and it grows 'hair'....."Chia Yard"....

It had been 104 out there and I just couldn't find it in me to sweep up pine needles....and with 100+ those needles are dropping...I was inspired at the store and checked out the blowers...but they weren't cheap, and looked like you had to have them plugged in to use?.... :-\

Walked away and was further inspired.....I took out the lawn mower and mowed the driveway and the street and the curb...it actually worked...I still have to do some minor sweeping where the mower wouldn't go....but it beats sweeping and dealing with all those piles of pine needles...

Since the mower was out, went ahead and mowed the front yard...there was grass as I have been watering every day....and...

I overdid it, and turned a lovely shade of dark red from the neck up. I was only out there for an hour and a half. My back decided to join the chorus,  my DVT leg was swollen, the calf was hard and both legs ached in my calves and up into the outer thighs.

A lukewarm shower, graded down to cool at the end, sort of made me feel better, but I couldn't stop sweating and I was naked and wet under the ceiling fan...took me 30 minutes of sitting under the fan before I started cooling off and my normal color returned...it seems everytime I get hot lately......I turn bright red....you would think that I was sunburned....and it's only from the neck up...weird

..taking off my shirt and staring at a white body with a red neck and face....so attractive... ::)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on August 05, 2008, 11:17:23 am
There is some historic big ole building off of I30. I have no clue what the name of the place is but I swear when I go down I30 they must have moved the freeway because I rememeber it being elsewhere when I was a kid.

Did that make sense?

I think I recall signs on it years ago for some haunted house. Its a huge building.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on August 05, 2008, 12:29:06 pm
There is some historic big ole building off of I30. I have no clue what the name of the place is but I swear when I go down I30 they must have moved the freeway because I rememeber it being elsewhere when I was a kid.

Did that make sense?

I think I recall signs on it years ago for some haunted house. Its a huge building.

It is next to the Downtown Post office and  the Trinity Railway station....

They used to have Halloween in it, and there was a Paint Gun , Paint ball, something ....once...

it has been remodeled and is now posh living quarters:

http://www.fortwortharchitecture.com/t&p.htm

Interstate 35 no longer goes through downtown....The Bass Brothers didn't like it...and it has been torn up and taken out and rerouted to the other side of the building....an opportunity for it to be increased from a 4 lane freeway to 6 lanes....

I still get lost when I go that way as I am a visual person relying on landmarks, some of which are no longer there....

Massey's Club 21....

(http://i33.tinypic.com/258o2td.jpg)

Katie's in laws were the Massey's and Robert's house is down the road, comparable to two blocks. Papa Massey built the club with this own two hands...also built the Rockwood Motel which was right behind the club. Room 15 at the Rockwood Motel is where I was exiled to from the drug house to dry out and come to my senses....

***AAAUUgggghh..*** KILL IT KILL IT ***one of the cats that has adopted us since Darcell's demise and has been lying around on the front and back porch....has..

put in a job application....Charlotte was at the door and when I let her in she was staring at the end of the porch stating that the black cat that has one ear folded down, was chasing a rat....I saw them heading my way and having a healthy instinct for survival got Charlotte in and the door closed.....

the 'rat' was taking refuge in the hedges and 'Billy BlackJack' wasn't letting him go too far....it was a scene from Tom and Jerry...as you can see, he   showed his qualifications for the job by laying down on the job....the rat just stayed put, they had been going back and forth for some time...(the rat is on the top of the bricks by the post looking a Billy BlackJack as though awaiting permission to live or die...

(http://i24.tinypic.com/15hznfk.jpg)

I upped the blinds and took the picture through the glass....all safe and secure....

I was having kittens just knowing that Billy BlackJack might just let it go...

Suddenly, Rat made a run for it's life and it was leaping and jumping and running and BlackJack was calmly stalking and followed Rat out of my sight as they headed for neighbors front porch and the other black cat with the white vest....

I gave Billy BlackJack the job....

Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on August 05, 2008, 01:04:40 pm
Thats quite a story.....arent cats something else! I try to keep out cat indoors and away from such riffraff as alley cats.
By the way, good to see you keeping daytime hours.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on August 05, 2008, 01:20:50 pm
ooohhh I can believe you got a picture of that rat and Billy Blackjack.  I cant stand darty quick little things that might bite or God forbid accidentally get squished between your toes.
I haven't seen any rodents here but I have seen lizards. ack!

My old house had plenty of visitors. Some of which where squirrel sized. Double yikes.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on August 05, 2008, 01:43:57 pm
ooohhh I can believe you got a picture of that rat and Billy Blackjack.  I cant stand darty quick little things that might bite or God forbid accidentally get squished between your toes.
I haven't seen any rodents here but I have seen lizards. ack!

My old house had plenty of visitors. Some of which where squirrel sized. Double yikes.

In the past six years I've had the 2 Cats, I've NEVER seen anything, guess the Cats are doing the job, I do see ants, but, they're way too small for them to even bother with, however, they do chase and run down flies tho,  I've seen both of them chase flies all day long, if it doesn't MOVE, then the Cats aren't interested in it  ;D......by the way......my 2 Cats are indoor Cats, and never want to go outside  :D They shed year round, and I had to spend a small fortune on one of them DYSON Vacuum Cleaners, but, it was money well spent tho..............
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Jeff G on August 05, 2008, 02:00:55 pm
My fierce looking bulldog Zita almost had a stroke when we came face to face with a small mouse
she yelped and ran in place for several seconds before getting traction on the tile floor .

I hate to admit it but I wasn't far behind her in our cowardly retreat . 
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on August 05, 2008, 05:48:10 pm
LOL jg

I had a small lapsa opsa mix dog at my old house years ago. A squirrel had gotten into the house through the attic access in the closet. She chased that sucker all around the house with me running around screaming opening outside doors hoping it wouldn't break anything important.
I like cats Den. Not fond of rodents unless they are in a cage then they aren't too bad. I still wouldn't want one but they arent as scary in a cage. Squirrels are ok if they stay out of the house.

The only things I dont like about pets are poop, pee and fur.  ;D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on August 05, 2008, 05:58:05 pm
LOL jg

I had a small lapsa opsa mix dog at my old house years ago. A squirrel had gotten into the house through the attic access in the closet. She chased that sucker all around the house with me running around screaming opening outside doors hoping it wouldn't break anything important.
I like cats Den. Not fond of rodents unless they are in a cage then they aren't too bad. I still wouldn't want one but they arent as scary in a cage. Squirrels are ok if they stay out of the house.

The only things I dont like about pets are poop, pee and fur.  ;D

LOL  ;D yeah my Cats are very clean, and they both meow at me every morning ,if I forget to feed them ,and clean-out both litter boxes, (my ID Doctor says it's ok to clean the litter boxes, cuz they aren't outdoor Cats, however my doctor did tell me that outdoor cats in my case would be a big NO NO) when I do that each day they seem to be happy for the most part.....it's the sheding ( all the fur, I don't like) and they are both short-haired-cats  ;D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on August 05, 2008, 06:00:09 pm
Unlike humans, they aren't as pretty bald.  ;D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on August 05, 2008, 06:05:59 pm
Unlike humans, they aren't as pretty bald.  ;D

Why whatever do you mean? I've been bald most of my adult life....................ROFLOL!  ;D......I have looked at some hairless Cats before, eeeeeeek, they sure are ugly looking Cats  ;D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on August 05, 2008, 09:23:44 pm
Yeah, bald men are wayyyy more attractive than bald kittys. 

(http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e14/JLBucknell/hairless_cat.jpg)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on August 06, 2008, 12:17:25 am
Why whatever do you mean? I've been bald most of my adult life....................ROFLOL!  ;D......I have looked at some hairless Cats before, eeeeeeek, they sure are ugly looking Cats  ;D

..and you are very handsome, baldness and all... :D :-*

I am trying to get a picture of the cat with a white vest...she looks like one of your cats....only black, but the white on the chests....they look like...Twins.. :D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on August 06, 2008, 12:20:16 am
Yeah, bald men are wayyyy more attractive than bald kittys. 

(http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e14/JLBucknell/hairless_cat.jpg)


..well, so much for me cooking chicken breasts tonight... :-\ :D

..eewwwww..who could even touch them? Thwy must have very sweet dispositions.. :-\
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on August 06, 2008, 12:28:34 am
..and you are very handsome, baldness and all... :D :-*

I am trying to get a picture of the cat with a white vest...she looks like one of your cats....only black, but the white on the chests....they look like...Twins.. :D

Oh Ronnie are you becoming a CAT person, better go down to the FW Animal Shelter and adopt a kitty cat  ;D.......they come in all colors and sizes, some even have already been declawed and FIXED too, hint, hint  ;D Cats are GREAT for relieving STRESS, and they are very easy to care for too  ;)
Cats don't care if your sick or disabled, they like you just the way you are even if you don't feel good  :)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on August 06, 2008, 12:34:58 am
In the past six years I've had the 2 Cats, I've NEVER seen anything, guess the Cats are doing the job, I do see ants, but, they're way too small for them to even bother with, however, they do chase and run down flies tho,  I've seen both of them chase flies all day long, if it doesn't MOVE, then the Cats aren't interested in it  ;D......by the way......my 2 Cats are indoor Cats, and never want to go outside  :D They shed year round, and I had to spend a small fortune on one of them DYSON Vacuum Cleaners, but, it was money well spent tho..............

I had an Irish Setter/Golden Retiriever mix and my bedroom carpet was...red....I bought an indoor/outdoor vac just for her hair. Right after Winter, when it started getting warm was the worst. You could just grab cluimps of fur....Then she was all nice and sleek and shiny...

Wouldn't really have any major shedding during the summer, just during the winter months. Her system was probably confused by Texas weather...I have run around sweating in shorts on Thanksgiving and Christmas.....

Then there was the year we drove to Waco for a family Thanksgiving in 4 inches of driving snow and ice....I had a Toyota Celica and the headlights forze in the up postiion...they also got dimmer and dimmer as the ice formed around the headlight leaving only one round spot where the light beam came out...

We were caravaning, and Mom and JW were in a Lincoln Towncar.....the one in the above picture at Roberts...it was that 'pearl white' color and in the ice and snow was invisible...Jw was in the lead position and kept stopping to beat the ice off the wipers....I discovered that you can destroy ice covered wipers by beating on them ...mine had to be replaced  ::)

Then the next year we had the air conditioner on and yelling at kids to "shut that door"...
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on August 06, 2008, 12:46:16 am
My fierce looking bulldog Zita almost had a stroke when we came face to face with a small mouse
she yelped and ran in place for several seconds before getting traction on the tile floor .

I hate to admit it but I wasn't far behind her in our cowardly retreat . 

I would have passed you both and been holding the door half open, shouting for you to "hurry up"... :D

Darcell, on the other hand was a mighty huntress and would have not only killed the thing, but have tried to eat it...ugh....I knew she had caught one when she would come around the corner from the backyard, head held high, then stopping and shaking it...

....then head held high and running.. 'from me'...shouting..."drop it...drop it...DROP IT....good girl....."..

...of course, ours are river rats,...When we were still at the house on Ohio Garden Rd....Dewayne, then 14, came up behind me shouting.."look"...

I was working a flower bed and turned and he was standing there holding a rat by tail and the thing was taller than he was....he was proud....stated that he had killed it by jumping up and down on it.....I was terrified....."drop it, drop it.. DROP IT...good boy..."
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Jeff G on August 06, 2008, 11:21:00 am
I think the most my dog ever grossed me out was when she drug up a dead cat my neighbor had thrown onto a pile of burning trees . I tried brushing her teeth ,  gave her a bath and made a trip to the store for some certs , her breath wasn't the same for a few days . This was years ago and whenever she is out of the fence she tries to run to that old burn pile .

You all can thank me individually for this fascinating story .  ;D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on August 06, 2008, 12:44:10 pm
I think the most my dog ever grossed me out was when she drug up a dead cat my neighbor had thrown onto a pile of burning trees . I tried brushing her teeth ,  gave her a bath and made a trip to the store for some certs , her breath wasn't the same for a few days . This was years ago and whenever she is out of the fence she tries to run to that old burn pile .

You all can thank me individually for this fascinating story .  ;D

I would feed her half a box of dog biscuits.....well, they say on the box that it brushes their teeth and freshens breath...

When we went jogging in the park, she found a dead carcass...I think it was a possum, and rolled in it....fortunately, the Trinity Park runs along the river. You cannot swim in the river, but there is a concrete platform, with BIG metal railings where you can stand in water and get a sort of sensation of the power of the water rushing by...

kinda reminded me of the observation decks at Niagra Falls...

I would take her down there and let her get a good washing off...she loved the water anyways.....
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on August 06, 2008, 01:10:52 pm
Katie got a catalog from Mobility Dynamics....
 
Here's the Wheelchairs....I don't think Katie likes this catalog.......more please"
 
this chair almost made me orgasm......then it sort of frightened me.....what's going to keep a 300-400lb woman from tipping that thing over?
 
http://www.redmanpowerchair.com/indexflash.php
 
 
If we could cut off her head and graft it onto this chir.....just sayin....
this chair does more than she does on a good day....just sayin.....agin...
 
http://www.redmanpowerchair.com/360.html
 
 
Here's the vans.....
 
roll cursor over smaller pics to get a larger view....
 
Katie likes blue.....I like blue
 
http://rollxvans.com/currentinventory.aspx?STK=45013
 
http://rollxvans.com/currentinventory.aspx?STK=45043a
 
 
ignore those outrageuous prices.....we can haggle...
 
 
 
HERE IT IS..with the desired rear entry.....
 
http://www.aavans.com/Conversion/RearEntryHandicapMinivanDimensions.aspx
 
 
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Jeff G on August 06, 2008, 01:20:45 pm
Wow , that's some wheel chair . If it had a bucket , a pooper scooper and a barbecue grill included I just might go for that myself .
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on August 06, 2008, 03:17:35 pm
Wow , that's some wheel chair . If it had a bucket , a pooper scooper and a barbecue grill included I just might go for that myself .

I'd go camping in that thing, looks like there is room for at least 2 in the back to sleep  ;D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on August 08, 2008, 01:07:29 am
Well, JW has not been moved back to Kindred Rehabilitation. His Doctors state that he has had another stroke. A small one. ???

He can't swallow his food or any liquid so he is on intravenous feeding. He body is still not producing blood so he is being given blood infusions. Mom states that he perked up after the first infusion today. His pain medicine prevents him from speaking coherently. After the first blood infusion today he was able to talk a little. He mostly talked about needing more pain medicine.. :-\

If he continues to not be able to swallow, there has been talk of a feeding tube in his stomach. He and Mom have had some discussions when he has been lucid, and she is pretty sure that he will not agree to a feeding tube, that he will pretty much consider that as the end....

I think that she has resigned herself that he is not going to be coming home....

I had a Dr appointment today. As I was signing in, there was no one at the reception window. Then some strange girl came up and looked up my name and stated that I was not scheduled today. O.O

I did NOT believe her as I had looked at the appointment card several times since yesterday through this morning not wanting a repeat of my unscheduled visit to Viola Pitts Center...and she is "blah blah blahing .....you can wait to see if the next appointment doesn't come in or come in tomorrow"....o.0

If I showed her my appointment card, they could take me right away....ya know...ugh...that card was sitting on the desk right by the phone....I had not brought it, and I got...irritated...so I got snippity and snipped at her that I would go home and get the card, to get my chart out and ready as I would be back and I DID have an appointment today....

So, I got my card and 'SHOWED HER' ...and was taken in right away....ridiculous  And the regular girl comes out and asks whats wrong, and I say."YOU forgot to put me in the computer"..and I kept getting apologies all over the place, except from the one person I wanted one from....
that strange girl.....

So, I STILL weigh 262, haven't gained and haven't lost.... >:(  Blood pressure was 145/84. Dr D has now added another pill..Lisinopril 10mg  Another pill and I'm exercising and eating right....I might as well have stayed on my old diet...

Then, we got on my list...
Ears are still ringing....not able to determine cause or how to stop it...

PN.....my toes on both feet are still numb and the bottom of my feet feel like they are bruised. Doing my Sit and be Fit, there is an exercise where you put a small squishy ball under your foot roll from heel to toe...

I couldn't do it for the pain it caused...from a small SQUISHY ball...

my fingers, hand and arms sometimes feel that I have stuck my finger in an electric socket....so Dr D has upped my Gabapentin to 600mgs twice a day

RASHES...showed her the red lines on my belly, and the spots behind my knees and know I have a new pill...Doxepin 10mg/once a day at bedtime.
now, this is where I get real confused as the bottle label states that it is for itching....the insert from the pharmacy states that is is to treat mental/mood problems..o.o  and that if you take it at bedtime, it will reduce daytime sleepiness....wtf

We did discuss my sleep habits and I told her that Katie has to wake me up in the evening to take my meds and that she stated that I snored and stopped breathing.....so...

Dr D is working up a referral for me to take a sleep study test for sleep apnea.... ??? things are getting crazy....I want to return to normalcy, not the past, but some form of normalcy,  and I might wind up playing Darth Vader at night...I'm feeling like JW...I don't think I want to participate.... :-\

Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on August 08, 2008, 09:41:10 am
I was standing there, in front of all of these bottles of pills that I have put in a certain order so that I can try and remember what's what, and I'm holding this new hard yellow little pill called Doxepin and all I could think of was...

...the disparity in the bottle label and the pharmacy insert and my brain screamed at me to stop and NOT take it...

I was absolutely TERRIFIED...Katie was stating that I needed it....Katie is on all kinds of anti depressants and all I could think of was what she acted like when she didn't have them..(medicaid can play some cruel games on you sometimes) ...a completely, irrational, total BITCH FROM HELL..who couldn't function at home or  in the outside world until she got her anti depressants...

...either running that wheelchair around in circles or staying in bed under covers, wailing and crying, crying crying...as though making up for all the tears she can't cry when on this thing she is on that is so good that it won't let you cry...

I was standing there, in front of all of these bottles of pills that I have put in a certain order so that I can remember what's what, and I'm holding this new hard yellow little pill called Doxepin and all I could think of was...

...the disparity in the bottle label and the pharmacy insert and my brain screamed at me to stop and NOT take it...

..and I was paralyzed and couldn't move....I put the pill back in the bottle...

was surfing the web, and decided to look it up and according to Wikopedia, Doxepin is a bad ass anti depressant and lists a lot of things that I am feeling...but do not remember me and Dr D specifically talking about as needing to be addressed through medication....

Then 'WIK' stated that when used in a cream, was for itching.....???....did the pharmacy maybe misunderstand her and gave me a pill instead of the cream?.....even though I am sort of experiencing the symptoms for both the pill and the cream?.......

My LORD....I have never been so confused...I feel sick like I might have started down a road that I would not be able to ever get off...just like my decision to first take meth....and

...I'm now waiting for the Doctors office to open so I can call and get some clarification here....is this a multipurpose wonder pill?.....

I'm also worried about taking the Lisinopril....when I first started on the Atenolol....I asked if this was going to be a lifetime thing, and was told that when my blood pressure was under control that it could be discontinued....

Now here's another pill....I feel like all my years of being clean and avoiding drugs were in vain...

maybe I do need this Doxepin pill.....and cream...

the clock is just dragging....
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on August 08, 2008, 10:58:29 am
I was standing there, in front of all of these bottles of pills that I have put in a certain order so that I can try and remember what's what, and I'm holding this new hard yellow little pill called Doxepin and all I could think of was...

...the disparity in the bottle label and the pharmacy insert and my brain screamed at me to stop and NOT take it...

I was absolutely TERRIFIED...Katie was stating that I needed it....Katie is on all kinds of anti depressants and all I could think of was what she acted like when she didn't have them..(medicaid can play some cruel games on you sometimes) ...a completely, irrational, total BITCH FROM HELL..who couldn't function at home or  in the outside world until she got her anti depressants...

...either running that wheelchair around in circles or staying in bed under covers, wailing and crying, crying crying...as though making up for all the tears she can't cry when on this thing she is on that is so good that it won't let you cry...

I was standing there, in front of all of these bottles of pills that I have put in a certain order so that I can remember what's what, and I'm holding this new hard yellow little pill called Doxepin and all I could think of was...

...the disparity in the bottle label and the pharmacy insert and my brain screamed at me to stop and NOT take it...

..and I was paralyzed and couldn't move....I put the pill back in the bottle...

was surfing the web, and decided to look it up and according to Wikopedia, Doxepin is a bad ass anti depressant and lists a lot of things that I am feeling...but do not remember me and Dr D specifically talking about as needing to be addressed through medication....

Then 'WIK' stated that when used in a cream, was for itching.....???....did the pharmacy maybe misunderstand her and gave me a pill instead of the cream?.....even though I am sort of experiencing the symptoms for both the pill and the cream?.......

My LORD....I have never been so confused...I feel sick like I might have started down a road that I would not be able to ever get off...just like my decision to first take meth....and

...I'm now waiting for the Doctors office to open so I can call and get some clarification here....is this a multipurpose wonder pill?.....

I'm also worried about taking the Lisinopril....when I first started on the Atenolol....I asked if this was going to be a lifetime thing, and was told that when my blood pressure was under control that it could be discontinued....

Now here's another pill....I feel like all my years of being clean and avoiding drugs were in vain...

maybe I do need this Doxepin pill.....and cream...

the clock is just dragging....

I don't like ANY KIND of anti-depressants, I use to take PROZAC about 10 yrs. ago, found out, that I wasn't depressed at all, when i took the prozac, I felt like I wanted to jump of a freeway-crossing, and just end it all, it didn't feel right to me, so, i went back to my old doctor back then, I told him, so, he took me OFF the Prozac, and said: " if it makes you feel like that" ( killing yourself) then prozac isn't for you? he wanted to put me on some other anti-depressants, but I DECLINED, and since then, I will not touch ANY anti-depressants EVER! not even if my life dependded on it ??? anti-depressants aren't for everyone one, they most certainly weren't for me............. ??? about the only real thing that helps me from feeling depressed, is ,I work-out everyday (7 days a week) I bike 10 miles, and weight train, I have been doing this for the last 5 yrs. and I feel GREAT, infact I feel like I've done something BAD, whan I don't workout everyday, now, I do understand, that you cannot do that, and that everyone isn't made that way, (due to being in pain or whatever) so, I guess I'm just lucky that way ;D, but, if you can get passed the pain, (and most of us passed the age of 50 know what I'm taking about) you should at least try to work-out everyday, anything is better than NOTHING at all, and, it sure couldn't hurt any........... ;D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on August 08, 2008, 11:48:03 am
Prozac is what Katie is on and she is fine as long as she has it. Sometimes, circumstances have happened in the past when she ran out and it was like 'in the mail' .....Lord help ME....she was intolerable....

When I read:

I Doxepin is in a class of drugs called tricyclic antidepressants. It works by affecting chemicals in the brain that may become unbalanced and cause depression.

Doxepin is used to relieve symptoms of depression and anxiety such as feelings of sadness, worthlessness, or guilt, as well as loss of interest in daily activities, changes in appetite, tiredness, sleeping too much, insomnia, and thoughts of death or suicide. 


I sort of freaked out. The only thing I could relate to were the sleeping too much and insomnia....maybe a loss of interest in daily activities...as for the rest, I do not have those thought....

I don't remember discussing taking anti depressants in our discussion and am still waiting for Doctor to call me back..The answering service did take my message,....

..it does state that it is used for itching...but when used in a cream....I'm hoping that the pharmacy misunderstood.....
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Jeff G on August 08, 2008, 01:00:52 pm
Hi Ronnie
I don't blame you for wanting to wait and find out . The last thing most of us need is an unnecessary pill added to the pile we already have to take .

I also agree with denb45 , antidepressants aren't for every body . I know people that they have helped tremendously , others like me not so much .

I went through a time of horrible depression that lasted years and tried most every antidepressant out there . They made me sick or more manic than if left untreated .
My Doctor put me on trazadone to help me sleep after detoxing from prescription pain killers and told me that it was mostly used these days to help people sleep better and rarely as an antidepressant . After one week on trazadone I have not been depressed since .

I'm not sure if my depression just ran its course or if trazadone did the trick but I now feel like my old self again , I had lost all hope of ever feeling better before this .

As for my pain that was a part of my life for many years , its manageable now . I'm one of the lucky ones that was able to work out 5 times a week and get through the pain to a better place . I still battle fatigue and some days need an afternoon nap .       
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on August 08, 2008, 01:55:02 pm
Hi Ronnie
I don't blame you for wanting to wait and find out . The last thing most of us need is an unnecessary pill added to the pile we already have to take .

I also agree with denb45 , antidepressants aren't for every body . I know people that they have helped tremendously , others like me not so much .

I went through a time of horrible depression that lasted years and tried most every antidepressant out there . They made me sick or more manic than if left untreated .
My Doctor put me on trazadone to help me sleep after detoxing from prescription pain killers and told me that it was mostly used these days to help people sleep better and rarely as an antidepressant . After one week on trazadone I have not been depressed since .

I'm not sure if my depression just ran its course or if trazadone did the trick but I now feel lie my old self again , I had lost all hope of ever feeling better before this .

As for my pain that was a part of my life for many years , its manageable now . I'm one of the lucky ones that was able to work out 5 times a week and get through the pain to a better place . I still battle fatigue and some days need an afternoon nap .       

Yep, me too, I still battle fatigue, some pain and, diarrhea, some days need an afternoon nap, but that's all part of having AIDS and being disabled
and there isn't anything I can really do to change any of that  ;D so, I'm in a very good place w/ all of this...............
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on August 08, 2008, 09:24:50 pm
Gosh you spend an evening at Parklands ER and the next day sleeping off the morphine they gave you and you miss so much.

Sorry to hear about JW.

I just wanted to tell you guys your posts made me giggle. The chicken breast kitty, feeding the dog certs, dogs rolling on dead things.

Loved the wheelchairs. Its been several years since we have looked at them. My boyfriend and I have been caretakers for a few older fellas. One who has passed now had Parkinsons. The one he currently manages is paralysed.
He is just a mean rotten old guy LOL I saved the links in my favorites in case he ever wants to get out of bed for more than 30 minutes and maybe he would buy himself some transportation. You never know.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on August 09, 2008, 06:36:24 am
Gosh you spend an evening at Parklands ER and the next day sleeping off the morphine they gave you and you miss so much.

Sorry to hear about JW.

I just wanted to tell you guys your posts made me giggle. The chicken breast kitty, feeding the dog certs, dogs rolling on dead things.

Loved the wheelchairs. Its been several years since we have looked at them. My boyfriend and I have been caretakers for a few older fellas. One who has passed now had Parkinsons. The one he currently manages is paralysed.
He is just a mean rotten old guy LOL I saved the links in my favorites in case he ever wants to get out of bed for more than 30 minutes and maybe he would buy himself some transportation. You never know.

Young Lady....what were you doing in ER at Parkland?   ..and on morphine, to boot?....

Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on August 09, 2008, 06:53:28 am
So,....Katie woke me up to take my 6pm meds. This will be the first day to take two Gabapentin. I took one this morning. now this evening.

...then Katie woke me up at 7pm stating that our shows were starting...

..Katie woke me up at 8pm.....we haven't eaten...

Decided to go with the benefit of Doxepin of reducing daytime sleepiness as the Gabapentin is kicking my butt....

So, I forced myself to stay up and hurriedly watered my patch of grass....

Showered and cooked dinner. While cooking dinner, I noticed that I was feeling...dizzy.

Then I felt like I had taken some bad meth. High, but no initial rush and  no burst of energy....

Every pain in my body intensified....focused..."I'm right here, take a marker and..."X"  marks the spot....

After eating, I couldn't see the computer screen, then, I could focus the letters, but couldn't read, because I couldn't stay focused...then my eyes wanted to close...real bad....I started nodding out...Katie woke me up....

..system shut down...
Katie woke me up

"meltdown"...
Katie woke me up

Katie woke me up

'..."STOP that, leave me alone..." ."you're falling out of that chair and you stopped breathing"....

Katie woke me up

gave up and hit the couch......

woke up at 5am.  I don't feel high anymore, but kind of sleepy/groggy...

 

Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on August 09, 2008, 11:43:48 am
Young Lady....what were you doing in ER at Parkland?   ..and on morphine, to boot?....


Essentially waisting my time. Aside from getting the CT I had scheduled later in the month out of the way they really didn't help me.

Getting the CT done was worth it I suppose.


Good grief, I just read the Gabapentin story. Dont fall out on us mr.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on August 10, 2008, 02:19:28 am
Well, I took my 6am meds and went to the grocery store. I have been awake all day....well, until 4pm. I had to lie down and elevate my leg. WalMart wore me out. I thought I would be there early enough to miss the crowds....hah....

,,bought a new mouse for the computer as Katie was complaining about the old one...(It's hardly a year old) She must have worn it our playing Pogo....
There was only one that did not require batteries....

..though I did check the wireless ones out, in the end, all I could think of was those batteries and the luck we have of them going dead at the most inopportune moments....

This one also does tricks, such as magnifies,...oohhh...aaahhh..and will show every window I have open at the same time..(window in a window. 8)

Then we watched some recorded TV that I had fallen asleep on last night....took my 6pm meds...without the Doxepin....I will take that when I'm ready to go to sleep. Can't wait to see if I have the same reaction I did last night.....all I know is that I did stay awake until 4pm..

The increased dosage of Gabapentin has stopped the bruised feeling in the bottom of my feet, but my toes remain numb....

Katie woke me up at 630pm to take my meds...and though I wanted to go back to sleep, instead I went outside and watered my patch of grass....
The front yard is looking pretty green now and the Irises are starting to get ready for their second blooming....

I think that after they have bloomed. I will transplant the Dutch Irises to the front yard and move some Stargazer Lilies to the back....the Lantana is blooming and I am going to plant cuttings of Lantana in the urns on the front porch....

The Lantana in the front yard is orange and yellow...in the back yard is multi colored....and not growing as everything got whacked by the electric company. But, I'm hopeful that it will grow back...



Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on August 10, 2008, 02:26:13 am
Essentially waisting my time. Aside from getting the CT I had scheduled later in the month out of the way they really didn't help me.

Getting the CT done was worth it I suppose.


Good grief, I just read the Gabapentin story. Dont fall out on us mr.

Wait a minute...A CT does not require morphine....
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on August 10, 2008, 11:42:41 am
Wait a minute...A CT does not require morphine....

Next month I'm having a colonoscopy, and I have to STARVE for about 12 to 14 hrs. and drink this GOD AWFUL WHITE STUFF called GOLYTELY,   I hope they give me some good DRUGS.....perhaps some MORPHINE  ;D......OH YEAH! I'm gonna ask for as much as they can give me.Tee Hee!
anyone here ever had one before (where they put this camera up your ass)...my ID Doctor said that I'm gonna be 52, and that if I've never had one I should, it will most likey be the LAST one I'll ever have, so my Doctor tells me  ???
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Jeff G on August 10, 2008, 12:34:43 pm

I have had it done a couple of times , Its not that bad because they sedate you .
The last time I had one I was detoxing from methadone , so I begged them not to give me any pain medicine or sedate me .

They told me that it would be to painfull to insert the camera . I asked to see the camera and then told them that I thought I could handle it . They looked at me as if I were insane asked me to sign a form , the next thing I knew I was waking up and it was all done .

Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on August 10, 2008, 12:34:50 pm
Next month I'm having a colonoscopy, and I have to STARVE for about 12 to 14 hrs. and drink this GOD AWFUL WHITE STUFF called GOLYTELY,   I hope they give me some good DRUGS.....perhaps some MORPHINE  ;D......OH YEAH! I'm gonna ask for as much as they can give me.Tee Hee!
anyone here ever had one before (where they put this camera up your ass)...my ID Doctor said that I'm gonna be 52, and that if I've never had one I should, it will most likey be the LAST one I'll ever have, so my Doctor tells me  ???

I've never had a camera go up there....I probably wouldn't need anything for any 'pain'. ::)

 Might bring some flowers and a box of chocolates and ask for a kiss first... ::)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on August 10, 2008, 12:36:27 pm
anyone here ever had one before (where they put this camera up your ass)...


I have had it done a couple of times , Its not that bad because they sedate you .
The last time I had one I was detoxing from methadone , so I begged them not to give me any pain medicine or sedate me .

They told me that it would be to painfull to insert the camera . I asked to see the camera and then told them that I thought I could handle it . They looked at me as if I were insane asked me to sign a form , the next thing I knew I was waking up and it was all done .




"and then I told them that I thought I could handle it"  ;D ;D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Jeff G on August 10, 2008, 12:38:25 pm
I've never had a camera go up there....I probably wouldn't need anything for any 'pain'. ::)

 Might bring some flowers and a box of chocolates and ask for a kiss first... ::)

You would probably just ask the cute doctor to ignore the roses and read the card .  :D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on August 10, 2008, 12:43:07 pm
I've never had a camera go up there....I probably wouldn't need anything for any 'pain'. ::)

 Might bring some flowers and a box of chocolates and ask for a kiss first... ::)

Oh Ronnie...........you're my kinda MAN  ;D......love the chocolates and the kiss...........how sweet of you  :P
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on August 10, 2008, 12:43:57 pm
You would probably just ask the cute doctor to ignore the roses and read the card .  :D

LOL!  ;D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Jeff G on August 10, 2008, 12:46:47 pm
Hey denb45 , They can sometimes write a prescription for  a pill to take instead of drinking that solution , to me that's the worst part drinking that awful stuff .

Never hurts to ask  
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on August 10, 2008, 12:59:58 pm
Hey denb45 , They can sometimes write a prescription for  a pill to take instead of drinking that solution , to me that's the worst part drinking that awful stuff .

Never hurts to ask 

Too late, I already have the liquid solution, but, I won't have to do this untill Sept 23 @ 5:30 AM..after it's done, I might sleep the rest of the day, after I PIG-OUT on FOOD  ;D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on August 10, 2008, 01:05:29 pm
The morphine was for my abdominal pain I always have. The CT showed a tiny cyst on my liver which they aren't concerned about and that I have a Bochdalek hernia a congenital defect of my diaphragm that allows the contents of my abdomen to slip into my chest cavity. I had to look that info up for myself. Parkland didn't say anything about it when I was discharged from the ER I found out last Friday when I went in for my regular clinic appointment and my nurse practitioner which BTW I don't trust with my health what so ever stated what the CT found when I mentioned getting it done. I asked her for a copy of the report but of course they cant possibly give me a copy so I made her write the name of the hernia down telling her I was going to look it up on my own. She didn't out right say it but when I asked for more pain medication she mildly suggested that the pain was in my head because they cant find anything wrong with me to explain the pain.
Well looking up the Hernia online it list the symptoms as chest pain, difficulty breathing, abdominal pain, intestinal obstruction and symptoms similar to gastro reflux disorder.
Ding ding ding. There are all my freaking symptoms. Parkland is full of idiots I swear.
I printed the page out and plan on showing them next time I go in. In the mean time I am taking meds to kill the H pylori infection I have.

Boy, that was a mouthful.

Oh I get to have a colonoscopy sometimes soon too. I cant remember what it is but there is some over the counter pill that you can take instead of drinking all that golightly <sp>
I'll try to remember what it is and get back with ya.

modified because I'm on pain pills and my spelling sucked.    ;D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on August 10, 2008, 01:14:41 pm
I took the Doxepin before lying down, so if I had any effects from taking it, they were not noted as I was ASLEEP.

Awoke at 5am and did not feel groggy or anything. My toes are still numb... :-\ I guess that is going to be a given for now on...

And now, I come to a room that I can no longer look at through those rose colored glasses.....the kithcen.

I have ignored this room as I am at a loss as to what to do. It receives the majority of the wheelchairs.. 'caresses' and 'special 'touches'

(http://i37.tinypic.com/23icyly.jpg)

I cook, Katie has to wash the dishes....fairs, fair.....

(http://i33.tinypic.com/2u90qrb.jpg)

believe me...this is not as peaceful as it looks...

(http://i36.tinypic.com/2zfsaxi.jpg)

she is whining, and crying and carrying on....

(http://i34.tinypic.com/zygac5.jpg)

As you can see, that wheelchair is making the kitchen it's own...I have been unable to keep up with damage control in this room...I am now waiting to see just what the new chair will do before I get busy in here...

I want to paint the cabinets black...the counter tile is white...I have been unable to find a sotve at a junk yard that has the same door as this stove, as the wheelchair broke the glass front...

years ago.....

  Now we had to really get down to business in this walking again program. In my minds eye I saw her walking, getting a small job, meeting a nice man and getting married and living happily ever after.

That was 10 years ago...and none it has happened. When the nerves connected,  then she had to have her wrist rebuilt. After recovering from that she had to have a knee replacement.. We had been doing the Body Electric and she had been given a prescription for water therapy, which she LOVED, because it took an act of congress to get her in the shower. * it is a small bathroom* Had to put up those bars everywhere and I made her use the toilet during the day instead of a bed pan...use those muscles girl...she lost another 100 lbs. and for a Christmas present for everyone stood up and walked to the bathroom WITHOUT A WALKER....

I was sooo tired and ready for her new life I had dreamed up for her and then...she got Hepatitis from the pool water....and it couldn't be Hepatitis but it had to be a double whammy of Hepatitis A and C together...she lost all her strength and was on some chemo therapy, Inferon?, and it took a year before they said it was gone, and another 6 months before she had any kind of strength....this is when the Bariatric bar over her bed came and the visiting nurses came as ronnie was working 15 hours a day 7 days a week with his own vending business*this was obviously before my DVT.PE..

and then her most cherished possession came ...THE ELECTRIC WHEELCHAIR...ronnie did not like the electric chair...all ronnie saw was with this chair she would never walk again,,,it did not involve muscles or physical activity, just sitting and pushing lever...horrid chair had 4 gears,,,you could take it outside on the road, put it in fourth gear and away you'd go...

except Katie never went outside. She stayed inside. with blinds shut. *I kept asking her if she was a bat* Only time she left house was to go to Doctor appt on  MITS bus which would only take her if she was in electric chair. She gained weight again and then was diagnosed with hyper-lipodemia ...which meant that her body turned everything she ate into fat...it could be a cracker and it would turn to fat...

she had a BAG of pills for everything from high blood pressure, to water pills for the edema in her feet and legs, back pain. knee pain...as she would say...it's me body, me whole body....ronnie hated all those pills, hated the electric wheelchair....it would take off at the slightest touch, it destroyed the wall in the hall making deep gouges from one end to the next....ronnie bought a 50 lb bucket of spackling trying to fix the holes and gouges...then she couldn't maneuver through the doorways and knocked all plaster down to the supporing studs....ronnie bought sheet metal to put on all corners as she would scrape and cut her legs and toes on nails and roughened wood..*small fortune on bandaids and neosporin, again not covered by medicaid*.

.after she tore her door off the hinges trying to turn into her bedroom we widened the doorway and bought new, big door but she manged to knock it down too so now there is no door...got a hospital bed that goes UUPP and DOOOWWNN....with a beriatric bar over it and then came oxygen machine with tank and backup tank and its mask and water filter..*requires distilled water not paid for by medicaid*

Knocked out a wall and combined two bedrooms into one so she could even get THAT ELECTRIC CHAIR in the bedroom and then it had to be able to turn and get around the hospital bed and the oxygen equipment (so now have a 2 bedroom home....it's really all the rage now* 

put in ceiling fans that had a remote so she could turn on lights and the fans...moved out all non-essential furniture as all tables had already been run over and destroyed....had to design arrangement of furniture so she could turn THAT ELECTRIC CHAIR around without destroying anything else...*.need to sell house and move to a warehouse with no walls.*...ha, ha, ha,,thats funny...

then she was plugging in coffee maker parked in front of oven..you're supposed to turn THAT ELECTRIC CHAIR off when you're parked so it won't take off if you hit that joy stick by accident..took her a year before she finally started to remember that one...but she leaned over and hit the joy stick with her 'titty' and rammed into the front of the oven...I was in the living room and BAMM....crrSSSSHHHHH...Katie screaming..AAAAHHHHH. *and to note that Katie has a set of lungs which can produce a very ear splitting scream* it was such a loud explosion that I was immobilized and nearly widdled mysef,

...shook it off and ran to the kitchen although I started to slow down the closer I got....the kitchen floor was black?...I could see the chair ..and Katie with her hands over her face just sitting there, not moving...my leg started to turn to jelly,,,what was it? what had happened...why aren't you moving...all these thoughts were racing through my mind and then I saw the front of the oven....it was a self cleaning oven with a black double glass front...*I now know that they are made of safety glass* Katie was covered in bits of black glass as was the floor ,,,,

ronnie had to talk to her for at least 5 minutes before she would take her hands down...she was ok..it had not got in her eyes and had not cut her....we both started crying and laughing at the same time..

it took me a week of vacumning and sweeping before I would trust myself to go barefoot across the floor..*and I have to cross kitchen to get from bedroom to bathroom* most inconvenient trying to remember to put on shoes when you've just been awakened by a screaming bladder.*

and then one day the electric chair stopped....it wouldn't  move...it had broken down and needed SERVICEMAN to come fix it. Had to get manual chair from garage....Katie HATES manual chair...she has to use her arms and legs to move...ronnie is happy to see her using arms and legs...but no...she moans, grunts, cries, WAILS...for three days as to fix  THE ELECTRIC CHAIR the SERVICEMAN must have permission from Medicaid...who has request on a desk..under a stack of papers...must call social worker and BUG her about the request being sent and approved as ronnie has to listen to Katie moan, grunt, cry and WAIL all day and night....

finally chair is fixed but then we have a NEW problem...the exertion of moving manual chair has ruptured Katie's shoulder (rotor cuff? something...ronnie is dizzy...Katie is not cooperating with ronnies best laid plans for her..the harder ronnie pushes her to be healthy the more UNhealthy she becomes...she gets a UTI...(urinary tract infection) she gets pneumonia...ronnie is a failure....he cannot fix Katie....this is going to be permament...we are going to grow old together like two old witches...ronnie gets idea and joins HEX to become a better witch/wizard maybe he can become a healer and use magic because thats what its going to take to fix Katie....hopefully, before we go to the basement...Katie weighs about 400lbs...THAT ELECTRIC CHAIR probably weighs 500 lbs....this is a wood floor over a basement...the house is 65 years old...we'll make that another story...

**blink, blink**  well, that was a trip down memory lane...now I have to decide whether to just take the cabinet doors off, or fix and repaint...it would look ;odd; not to have the doors down there, most houses I have seen without the doors, it was the top cabinet doors that were removed...


Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on August 10, 2008, 01:23:50 pm
The morphine was for my abdominal pain I always have. The CT showed a tiny cyst on my liver which they aren't concerned about and that I have a Bochdalek hernia a congenital defect of my diaphragm that allows the contents of my abdomen to slip into my chest cavity. I had to look that info up for myself. Parkland didn't say anything about it when I was discharged from the ER I found out last Friday when I went in for my regular clinic appointment and my nurse practitioner which BTW I don't trust with my health what so ever stated what the CT found when I mentioned getting it done. I asked her for a copy of the report but of course they cant possibly give me a copy so I made her write the name of the hernia down telling her I was going to look it up on my own. She didn't out right say it but when I asked for more pain medication she mildly suggested that the pain was in my head because they cant find anything wrong with me to explain the pain.
Well looking up the Hernia online it list the symptoms as chest pain, difficulty breathing, abdominal pain, intestinal obstruction and symptoms similar to gastro reflux disorder.
Ding ding ding. There are all my freaking symptoms. Parkland is full of idiots I swear.
I printed the page out and plan on showing them next time I go in. In the mean time I am taking meds to kill the H pylori infection I have.

Boy, that was a mouthful.

Oh I get to have a colonoscopy sometimes soon too. I cant remember what it is but there is some over the counter pill that you can take instead of drinking all that golightly <sp>
I'll try to remember what it is and get back with ya.

modified because I'm on pain pills and my spelling sucked.    ;D


Oh, lord...your story sounds just like my little sister, who kept having pain in her abdomen and doctors and nurses and her work and fellow employees kept telling her that it was in her head and to get a grip. Finally, after years of suffering,  this doctor, it only takes one, found a cyst on her ovary....

Though the pain was finally alleved, it affected her mental state to where she could not tolerate her work or being 'left alone' in a room with certain of her fellow employees as she could only remember them taunting her about her imaginary ghost pain...

It also affected her marriage as her husband, who at first was supportive, after several years of hearing from doctors that nothing was there, he too joined in the chorus...

I sorry that  you are having to take on the world....at tleast you still have a good mind that you can defend yourself...
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Jeff G on August 10, 2008, 01:28:31 pm
Sorry you are having such a tough time Winiroo , Doctors rarely give pain meds unless you are in the Hospital these days . My doctor buddy tells me horror stories about what kind of scrutiny he goes through with his patents on pain meds .

When I needed them he offed any thing I needed , after my ID doc explained that he was fearfull that if he kept writing pain meds he was going to get into trouble he got me into pain management the next day . These guys can write for anthing because they are " Pain specialist "

I gained respect for him when my Doc admitted the truth of why he was reluctant to controll my pain . Others just tried to make me feel as you described , that it was all in my head.    
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on August 10, 2008, 02:01:14 pm
I told the nurse practictioner "I understand that many of the patients that come to this clinic have drug addictions and try to get pain meds from you, but if you will check my record you will clearly see that is not the case with me."

I got hydrocodone from her but they never give nearly enough and I always have to be pushy to get it.

I've gotten to be one tough cookie when dealing with the county hospital. If tears dont work I will rip them a new one. LOL   ;D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on August 14, 2008, 08:59:18 am
I told the nurse practictioner "I understand that many of the patients that come to this clinic have drug addictions and try to get pain meds from you, but if you will check my record you will clearly see that is not the case with me."

I got hydrocodone from her but they never give nearly enough and I always have to be pushy to get it.

I've gotten to be one tough cookie when dealing with the county hospital. If tears dont work I will rip them a new one. LOL   ;D

I need you to gp with me to some of my appointments... :D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on August 14, 2008, 09:17:27 am
It has been six days since I started the Doxepin. I haven't experienced any of the side effects from the first night, maybe because I'm ASLEEP.... >:(   I thought that the insert stated that it was to reduce daytime sleepiness...

...that ain't happening. I function, but I am swimming in 'heavy air'. I don't really want to get up when Katie wakes me up to take my meds. I have to sit there for awhile and then FORCE myself to get up.

The bumps on my scalp have calmed themselves and aren't weeping and oozing. There's no itching and now they are flaking off...no more 'cooties'.. :D

I feel like I'm a high performance engine that needs SUPER unleaded and am trying to run on just unleaded..I'm not getting the right octane...something isn't connecting right...

My lower back pain is so intense that at times I swear I'm passing a kidney stone....I've passed three in the past three years....but am not having any other symptoms of a kidney stone....

It hurts to sit up, to walk...the only thing that doesn't hurt is lying down.

I've been having weird dreams of my ex and I wake up and swear I still hear his voice and breath in my ears... ???

I dreamt I was working  and pulled up to one of my accounts and then another truck cut me off and I realized I no longer had that account...then I realized that I was no longer working...and I woke up thinking that I had to go there....

I see Dr G on friday.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on August 14, 2008, 10:02:49 am
Hi Ron
Boy oh boy....this does not sound like fun.  I do hope your doctor can help straighten things out.

Kurt and I are going to be out of town until Sunday.  So I guess I have to wait till then to hear the next episode of  TRIALS and TRIBULATIONS.
Hope its good news.

Joel
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on August 15, 2008, 11:56:10 pm
Hi Ron
Boy oh boy....this does not sound like fun.  I do hope your doctor can help straighten things out.

Kurt and I are going to be out of town until Sunday.  So I guess I have to wait till then to hear the next episode of  TRIALS and TRIBULATIONS.
Hope its good news.

Joel

Y'all just got back from a trip. Did you even unpack your bags?  :D

Have a safe trip.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on August 16, 2008, 12:59:19 am
It's Friday....I thought it was Thursday.....then, someone on TV in some commercial ..maybe the weather...and their stating it's Friday....

I have to crank it up a notch as I have an appointment today with Dr G. and I did not shower last night as I thought it was Thursday. I have to shower the night before as I can't seem to stop seating after a shower for like an hour, under a fan. So...

...here I am taking a shower and being in my shorts with Jessie in the house...and the phone kept ringing and the doorbell rang...and I answer it,
 half shaved and feeling ..naked...and it's the guy to check the data on Katie's new oxygen machine.....

Finally get my hair dry enough to do something with it and go in my bedroom and there is a white spot on my carpet??....

(http://i21.tinypic.com/28hheg4.jpg)

look up and if it isn't one thing, it's another....the roof is leaking in my bedroom..... >:(

(http://i22.tinypic.com/sxkd9w.jpg)

How??....Katie keeps saying that the last time a tornado came through she felt the house move and something fell on the roof...idk...I don't see nothing from my perspective , which is from the ground looking up as I can't get on the roof...

I discovered this fact of life during the last big tornado:

You would think that with attic space and a basement that is almost as big as the house that I would have no need to use the garage for storage...WRONGO..

In my 'old age' with a bum leg, I find that the attic might just as well not be there as I cannot climb up there, using one hand,  while trying to hold onto a box in the other and not letting it drop or fall....so much for the attic. Then, the basement entrance is outside, around the back of the house.

To get there, I have to traverse downhill, on a path that has been terraced, so it isn't a straight shot down..and on the other side of the house, there is a 'backdoor' in the garage that goes to the back, but when you open the door it has not been terraced and is a straight shot down..*there must be a hole in the space continuum related to gravity and it's pulling effect, and it's coordinates are around my house, as just standing in that doorway, you can feel gravity pulling at you, as if saying...come here...come here*...

I have heard this call of gravity and believes. One summer we had had a few tornadoes pass close by..*the Trinity River is almost just across the street from us, and tornadoes will follow a river bed, being the road of least resistance*

..and there is a a HUGE tree on the side of the house behind the garage, that I have yet to identify the species, but it is HUGE and the branches USED to go over the roof and then 'OVER the roof' growing across to the other side of the house...

the shade was wonderful in the summertime, but this particular year when the wind blew...the branches started to drop...Katie and I  are in the living room watching TV as the winds from a passing tornado go by......THWUMP....and the house shakes and the windows rattle...what was that?....

I go outside after the storm has passed and look at the roof and see nothing, but I do notice that the skyline doesn't look right..attribute it to the storm and walk around to the back....sweet Lincoln's beard.... the 80 foot cottonwood in the farthest back corner of the yard is now 60 feet, a smaller oak tree is on the ground, and then going to the middle of the back yard and looking at the house I realize why the skyline looks different..

...there is not a branch one going across the roof, they are ON the roof or have slid and are now hanging from the roof, and then there are those that made it to the ground. We call Mom and apprise her of the situation and I bravely offer to go on the roof and knock the remaining branches off the roof.

Mom brings this big, tall aluminum ladder that she uses on her extra large pecan tree in her back yard. Though we don't have a two story house, it LOOKS like a two story house because of the hill and I guess you could call it split level looking...anyway, the back door to the kitchen is 'up there'...with a concrete porch with steep steps going down both ways, only now you can only go down one way as a deck has been added to the other side wrapping around the corner and going to my bedroom windows, which are high enough from the ground as to be considered a two story.

 I am on this deck with this ladder and a push broom. Once I reach the edge of the roof, I throw the broom onto the roof and start to clamber onto the roof. I really don't like heights, but sometimes you gotta do, what you gotta do, and I get over the edge and turn over and ..

...my fingers, hands, feet, grow suction cups and I try to cling to these rough tiles as all I can see in the distance is downtown Fort Worth and the back yard and the EDGE of the roof and GRAVITY calling to me...come herecomehere,

..and I can't move, forward or backward or anywhere as my brain is screaming at me with a full red alert....one wrong move and you could be over the EDGE...these tiles feel rough, but look and feel slippery, one wrong misstep, and down you'll go..and...WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?...GET DOWN FROM HERE.RIGHT NOW...

..and I can't  move and in quiet desperation,  I cautiously look around and I see the antenna cord hanging from the antennae...we don't use it anymore as we now have cable, and my healthy instinct for survival kicks in and convinces one hand to let go of the tile and I reach for the antennae cord and get it and pull it to me.

I then convince my other hand to let go and I am going to HAVE to sit up, and I do so, very slowly, feeling gravity pulling at me. I can actually feel the force of GRAVITIES energy like you're on the edge of a waterfall and everything is going in one direction, forward, over, and down....

...and I tie this antennae around my waist. I feel better about it now and I think, well, maybe I can at least TRY to do this after all, and I can see this huge branch and the force of gravity surely must be calling to it too, so all I should have to do is give it a 'fatal' push with this broom, but NOoo..

...it is solid on the roof and won't budge....too bad, so sad,.. I tried..no sense in staying here any longer, so I can't take it anymore and I very slowly, and cautiously work my legs over the edge and sit there with my feet on the ladder steps looking out at the 'view' with this antennae around my waist and contemplating what could be my last moments on earth..

...and then I see the deck is only like six, maybe eight feet away....it isn't like ALL the way to the ground, which I am so high up there I can barely see the ground...well, it is high up there...I mean, I am way up in the sky...I could be seriously hurt, and then I convince myself to go on over the EDGE and am now holding onto the ladder facing outward as I won't release my hold to attempt to turn around and every step is like, I could slip off any moment and I can't move, and I can see the deck below me,

*I could really jump*, I have jumped farther than this before...but I can't move, and I'm like..oh,come on...and I'm ready, and my mind and body are willing, and I can't move??...

Then I realize that the antennae has run it's limit and is still around my waist and I have to let go and very slowly and cautiously release one hand from it's grip on the ladder, and very slowly release the antennae cord, and immediately grasp the ladder again with the freed hand, and take the last two steps down....well, I could have missed the deck if I had gone too fast..and I sink to the deck and promise myself...never again...


So Mom calls the insurance man, who comes out to get an estimate of damages, and he is older than me and he puts a ladder against the roof in the front yard, and he has on these hiking boots and he hikes up the ladder with one hand, the other is holding a clipboard, and he is on the roof, standing upright and stomping around up there all over the place,

... and he gives the branch a kick and sends it on down, and I am amazed at his bravery, because I have been up there and KNOW how dangerous it is...and he clambers down the ladder and says, you need a new roof...and the insurance paid for it and isn't it lovely?...

and the next summer, we are watching TV and the wind is blowing and... THWUMP....and I just sit there and Katie is like,..what was that?...and I'm like...what?..I didn't hear nothing...maybe you should go check....no, it's nothing....how could it be?...the branches had all come down and the roofers cut and trimmed all the tree branches away from the house..

Katie insists..something fell on the roof....I say, then let GRAVITY take care of it, cause I made a promise not to go on the roof anymore, and you can't break a promise...who did you make this promise to?...myself...so get over it, I'm not going to even go look....

So as far as I'm concerned, there's a new roof up there and there shouldn't be any leaking....

But, I don'[t have time to deal with it right now as I have to get dressed for this appointment, because it's Friday....Off I go, and I am on time...The first thing everyone keeps saying is ..boy, you look tired...my head is buzzing from the Doxepin and I just look at them with a dopey smile...and tell them that I am on some bad drugs....foggy head, but NO energy...

Weight is a constant 263, and blood pressure is the lowest it's ever been ...114/74  thank you Lisinopril....

So, Dr G, who did not prescribe the Doxepin, tells me to stop taking it when I tell her that my itching scalp has stopped itching, and that my head is just buzzing and dizzy at times.

For the past two nights my legs have been having spasms making them jump like they want to cross, and I have to stretch them out, and they do it again...this goes on for about two hours and sitting, lying on back, lying on side....nothing stops it...

My lower back hurts so bad that it feels like I'm passing a kidney stone, but it doesn't progress to me sweating profusely, bent over in agony, moaning on the floor and making inane promises to every deity in history...

So, I have a referral for a Sleep Study, and my next appt for 14aug08. One week before, I am to have blood drawn and she is going to check my cholesterol, etc....

I will receive a referral for colonscopy???....wait a minute, where did that come in the picture? I immediately ask if I can just swallow a camera in a capsule...."No".....*pouts*








Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on August 16, 2008, 11:51:51 am











Well good thing you had insurance, and they paid for a new roof, if the roof has a another leak, it should still be covered under some type of warranty (depending on how long ago it was repaired).............I don't know what the hell going on......both bob & I are icthing like DOGS
I know the Cats don't have fleas, cuz they never go outside? maybe it's all this humidity and rain were having, last night we had a Tornnado Warning here in ABQ.......oh well ,in a few months it will be cold again............Ronnie do you'all ever get much snow in Dallas FW area, we get a lot of snow between NOV and FEB.... ABQ is 7,300ft. above sea level, so, I guees that's why?...........glad you're doing better, hope you get even better, I'm sure you will  ;D.........I had a major tune-up done on my Ford Truck, it cost me $524 for the tune-up and another $400 for 4 new Tires, and Front Disc Breaks ,not to mention the 4,000 I had to pay when the Transmisson went out in Jan 08......guess I'll be keeping the Truck for a while after spending all that money THIS YR. ALONE,  and it only has 50,000 miles on it ( it's a 1998) guess snice I do own it, and don't have a Car Note to pay, it was worth it I suppose?...hows is your Ranger running, I sure hope it's OK............so much for a FORD, I guess...........FORD stands for:........ Found on the Road Dead......... >:(
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on August 16, 2008, 04:26:52 pm
Boy your a mess Ronnie. Hope it gets better.  ;D

The most snow I've seen here is 3 inches. Maybe 4 or 5 on cars.   :D
Snow here usually melts within the same day it falls.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on August 17, 2008, 12:01:39 am
Too late, I already have the liquid solution, but, I won't have to do this untill Sept 23 @ 5:30 AM..after it's done, I might sleep the rest of the day, after I PIG-OUT on FOOD  ;D

oh lord.....you have power in your words.....you brought up this colonscopy thing and now I'm going to get one.  :-\

Katie says that that white gobbelygoo gave her extreme diaherrea....Whatever they gave her, she said she was up and awake during the whole procedure turning into a Chatty Cathy....

The Dr asked the nurse "just how much did you give her?" as she couldn't shut up... ::)

Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on August 17, 2008, 12:12:18 am
Boy your a mess Ronnie. Hope it gets better.  ;D

The most snow I've seen here is 3 inches. Maybe 4 or 5 on cars.   :D
Snow here usually melts within the same day it falls.

I am of the opinion that the majority of my problems are 'back' related and I need an MRI...it seems the more I push for one, the more they go off on these weird tangents....and studies....

...such as, I discussed my legs cramping and trying to scissor and now I'm getting a colonscopy.. :-\

I say that my lower back HURTS and I feel like I'm passing a kidney stone...and now I'm scheduled for a Sleep Study... :-\

I say that my hips hurt and my inner thigh/groin are numb and my feet hurt...and I am having labs done to check my cholesterol... :-\

,,,,,,,,, :-\......... ::).............. :-\
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on August 17, 2008, 12:32:12 am
Well good thing you had insurance, and they paid for a new roof, if the roof has a another leak, it should still be covered under some type of warranty (depending on how long ago it was repaired).............I don't know what the hell going on......both bob & I are icthing like DOGS
I know the Cats don't have fleas, cuz they never go outside? maybe it's all this humidity and rain were having, last night we had a Tornnado Warning here in ABQ.......oh well ,in a few months it will be cold again............Ronnie do you'all ever get much snow in Dallas FW area, we get a lot of snow between NOV and FEB.... ABQ is 7,300ft. above sea level, so, I guees that's why?...........glad you're doing better, hope you get even better, I'm sure you will  ;D.........I had a major tune-up done on my Ford Truck, it cost me $524 for the tune-up and another $400 for 4 new Tires, and Front Disc Breaks ,not to mention the 4,000 I had to pay when the Transmisson went out in Jan 08......guess I'll be keeping the Truck for a while after spending all that money THIS YR. ALONE,  and it only has 50,000 miles on it ( it's a 1998) guess snice I do own it, and don't have a Car Note to pay, it was worth it I suppose?...hows is your Ranger running, I sure hope it's OK............so much for a FORD, I guess...........FORD stands for:........ Found on the Road Dead......... >:(

dang....that desert air must not be good for Fords.. :D

...mine is a 1997, and I have only bought a set of tires and oil changes. Mine is a 5 speed manual shift. Of course, it sat in the driveway for @5 years as I had my work truck that I had my butt planted in for 15 hours a day. Other than that, I turn the key and push the pedal and it runs like a champ. A/C will freeze your ass, even Katie will shut off her vents after awhile...aaannndd, it's paid for  :D

I keep getting sticky notes on the window..."Ranger Red, call me $$$-$$$$ when you're ready to sell"  I even get some notes from my rainbow' sticker  on the back window...."hey, noticed your rainbow..give me a call...000.0000 "     

,,,I've never responded to either note....I love my 'lil Red Truck.. :D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on August 17, 2008, 12:49:53 pm
dang....that desert air must not be good for Fords.. :D



I keep getting sticky notes on the window..."Ranger Red, call me $$$-$$$$ when you're ready to sell"  I even get some notes from my rainbow' sticker  on the back window...."hey, noticed your rainbow..give me a call...000.0000 "     

,,,I've never responded to either note....I love my 'lil Red Truck.. :D
Humm................interesting? maybe you should call, and find out? you never know?  ;D..had an old guy ( musta been in his 70's) wanted to buy my Ford Ranger, for way above the low blue-book-value, and I said "this old thang" I looked at him like he was CRAZY, and told him NO  ;D after putting
all that money into it (way more than what it's actually worth) I'll keep it for a while, and wait untill 2012, that's when cars will get 34 to 40 MPG  ;D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on August 17, 2008, 12:54:13 pm
It must be butt month. I go in on the 20th for the consultation and kit for my colonoscopy.  ;)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on August 17, 2008, 01:02:20 pm
It must be butt month. I go in on the 20th for the consultation and kit for my colonoscopy.  ;)

If your over 50, then you should have that done, that's what my ID Doctor tells me, if they don't find anything up there, then you don't have to worry about Colo-Rectal-Cancer  ;D.............from what everyone had told me about a colonoscopy, I will be OUT, and will wake up when it's over' so, I can deal with that ( as long as I don't feel it) , I'll be fine  ;D........better get Bob to drive me back home tho, don't think I'll be able, I go on SEPT 23rd @ 6:30AM  ???
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on August 17, 2008, 03:51:56 pm
I've been the designated driver for a couple of people after their colonoscopies. Its a good idea to have someone drive you home.

I'm not over 50 but I've had some intestinal issues. I have intestinal pain 24/7 so this is one of the things they are doing to try and figure out whats up with Wendy's guts hurting.  :)

After the CT scan I had I was diagnosed recently with a Bochdalek hernia. The pain I have could be from that but I dont mind them checking to make sure there isnt anything else going on down there.

Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on August 18, 2008, 12:29:36 am
It must be butt month. I go in on the 20th for the consultation and kit for my colonoscopy.  ;)

You get a Kit?...??....

I'm glad to hear that they put you under. I'm not to glad to hear that I will need someone to drive me home. That will be Mom and there is so much going on with JW. He now has a tube for feeding and still is not doing well.

Tomorrow, Monday 18th is Mom's birthday. I will have to track her down and intercept as she is either leaving for the hospital, at the hospital, or leaving for home.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on August 18, 2008, 12:42:40 am
Well good thing you had insurance, and they paid for a new roof, if the roof has a another leak, it should still be covered under some type of warranty (depending on how long ago it was repaired).............I don't know what the hell going on......both bob & I are icthing like DOGS
I know the Cats don't have fleas, cuz they never go outside? maybe it's all this humidity and rain were having, last night we had a Tornnado Warning here in ABQ.......oh well ,in a few months it will be cold again............Ronnie do you'all ever get much snow in Dallas FW area, we get a lot of snow between NOV and FEB.... ABQ is 7,300ft. above sea level, so, I guees that's why?...........glad you're doing better, hope you get even better, I'm sure you will  ;D.........I had a major tune-up done on my Ford Truck, it cost me $524 for the tune-up and another $400 for 4 new Tires, and Front Disc Breaks ,not to mention the 4,000 I had to pay when the Transmisson went out in Jan 08......guess I'll be keeping the Truck for a while after spending all that money THIS YR. ALONE,  and it only has 50,000 miles on it ( it's a 1998) guess snice I do own it, and don't have a Car Note to pay, it was worth it I suppose?...hows is your Ranger running, I sure hope it's OK............so much for a FORD, I guess...........FORD stands for:........ Found on the Road Dead......... >:(

Mom will be calling her insurance Rep on Monday. Time just seems to fly. It just seems like last year we got the new roof and it's been at least 8 years. I think roofs are supposed to be guaranteed for 10 years and that is just something that is stuck in my head//idk if it's a fact or not...

Heck, we might just be getting another new roof...depending on what this guy finds and decides....Katie also remembers when the electric Company was cutting all those vines and branches that she heard something hit the roof then too, but that would be a 'my word against your word thing"...

There was that tornado a couple of months ago, that upended all those trees.....

I just wonder if they will fix the inside ceiling too, or just the outside roof. When we got the last new roof, it was after a tornado and there was water damage to the ceiling in the kitchen above the back door.....they wouldn't repair it...


Do y'all have any bumps? or just itching? I was using Head and Shoulders for my head and using it as  a body wash. It helped with the itching.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on August 18, 2008, 12:51:44 am
I've been the designated driver for a couple of people after their colonoscopies. Its a good idea to have someone drive you home.

I'm not over 50 but I've had some intestinal issues. I have intestinal pain 24/7 so this is one of the things they are doing to try and figure out whats up with Wendy's guts hurting.  :)

After the CT scan I had I was diagnosed recently with a Bochdalek hernia. The pain I have could be from that but I dont mind them checking to make sure there isnt anything else going on down there.



Maybe I don't understand just what a colonscopy is. I thought it just checked for cancer. But, I guess if I was having back/hip/leg pain it could be from something wrong up there?

So, my doctor might be listening to me? and I'm just ignorant?  :-\

I had to Google Bochdalek Hernia and ..ugh....how are you functioning? IT sounds very painful. Are you going to have surgery?

Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on August 18, 2008, 03:35:20 am
Monday. August 18th....Mom will be 72. I love you Mom. Happy Birthday.

<embed width="448" height="361" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" src="http://i225.photobucket.com/remix/player.swf?videoURL=http%3A%2F%2Fvid225.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fdd244%2Frondron%2Fdd1081cc.pbr&amp;hostname=stream225.photobucket.com">
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on August 18, 2008, 09:28:48 am


Do y'all have any bumps? or just itching? I was using Head and Shoulders for my head and using it as  a body wash. It helped with the itching.

Nope, just itchy red bumps, with nothing inside of them, they seem to come and go  ???
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on August 18, 2008, 11:16:35 am
Hi Ron.....
We are back from the camping trip.  It was a lot of work but well worth it.  THIS weekend was "MOTORCYCLE/LEATHER" weekend and the Philadelphia MC "Philadelphians" put on two big events..Friday and Saturday nights.  They took a pavilion and enclosed the whole thing in black plastic and basically turned it into a bar. Then they hosted two dress code "socials".  Two of our good friends are in the "Philadelphians" group so they stayed with us on our site.  We dont have any fancy trailer so we pitched our tents and prayed for a nice weekend.  It was pretty nice.  Only a little rain Thursday. The rest of the weekend was spectacular. But Kurt and I are exhausted.
Glad you are ok.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on August 18, 2008, 02:56:22 pm

I had to Google Bochdalek Hernia and ..ugh....how are you functioning? IT sounds very painful. Are you going to have surgery?


I had to Google it too. The nurse practitioner at Parkland mentioned it briefly right before she suggested that there was no reason for my abdominal pain and that it must be all in my head. LOL

Me being me I said wait hold up there. I have a what hernia? Can I have a copy of that report? No? Well write the name of that hernia down because I want to research it.
Apparently she did not bother looking up the information otherwise she would have never said the pain in my abdomen must be in my head.

I'm on a butt load of antibiotics right now to kill an h pylori infection in my guts when I am done with this I will go back to Parkland and let her know what I know and give them the print out showing that my complaints are the same as those related to the hernia.

A colonoscopy looks for anything irregular intestinally.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on August 19, 2008, 09:05:35 pm
JW died today. .. He just stopped breathing....
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on August 19, 2008, 09:52:57 pm
aaww Ronnie I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you are well.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on August 19, 2008, 09:53:31 pm
JW died today. .. He just stopped breathing....

Sorry to hear that Ronnie, but, for what it's worth, you know he's in a much better place now  :(
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on August 19, 2008, 11:57:25 pm
This is hard.  Not only have I lost friends to HIV/AIDS, I am now experiencing, aging, and probably the worst part of aging, losing people.


JW and Mom worked for Lockheed. He was a pilot. He refueled jets in midair. He was also a cowboy, and had some horses and land.

Mom took an early retirement to look after J.W.. he was diagnosed with cancer and they started having fun and traveling. Mom is pretty good at Vegas and Shreveport always coming out with more than she came in with. But then she was a Senior Cost Analyst for Lockheed traveling to places I can't even pronounce over in Europe trying to get a 'part' for a good price.

  I don't have a cowboy hat. Though my parents had a horse ranch in Springtown. JW named it 'Passing Wind" ....now before you get all romantical an such envisioning a Texas prairie with gentle winds blowing tumbleweeds....forget it..

.......he stated that he named it for Mom, as every time she bent over....she 'passed wind'.... ::)

I am a City Boy. Every now and then my mom would try to talk me into going out and helping J.W. (yup, that's his name) with barb wire that had come down. ALL I was interested in was 'riding' the horses, not cleaning up after them.

He kept telling my mother that he was going to make a man of me and teach me how to stand on my own two feet. I admit that I was pretty much a mamas boy. My father was killed when I was 4 and I was the first born only son and had a tasty silver spoon in my mouth for awhile.

I've had two step fathers. JW was my second stepfather and thanks to him,  I lost my spoon and everyone pampering 'that poor boy who lost his daddy' ..It's hard not having a daddy. My mother did not remarry until I was @12. I think.

 I don't remember much of my life from 4-@12ish. If we're talking and someone brings up something I can remember a little ,but not on my own. Mom said I gave her HELL because I did not believe my daddy was dead and would keep running off looking for him. She finally had to give me these little pink tranquilizers which probably account for my memory loss. She had to hide his pictures because every time I saw his picture I would have a fit and want to go find him. I did not grow up fast because I was pampered for years.

J.W. knew what to do though. It took a few years, but we have come to terms and I am fond of him. He has been good to my mother for which I am grateful. He turned her from a City girl into a country girl.

 Duchess was the first horse J.W. gave her and she had a colt,  MayDay. Mayday got his name from JW. They were in the pasture and she was grazing and he was exploring...at one point she went one way for a patch of greener grass and he didn't notice right away..suddenly "momma, momma, where are you?"...

... and his ears were pricked up and his tail was straight up and those long gangly legs were fighting each other as he skidded around looking for her..J.W. there and then named him May Day...*mayday...maayydaayy.. missing mother.

.Springtown is not far from Fort Worth and they would commute back and forth usually spending weekends on the ranch, taking hay to feed the horses and to feed fish in the stock pond...I discovered that cowboys don't have battered pickups because they are bad drivers but because horses will come up and start rubbing on them, will take a bite out of them*INCREDIBLE but true...

One day, Mom and JW were out feeding the horses and the stock pond and they noticed MayDay standing on a ridge without Duchess...on the other side of the ridge was a ravine/gully and Duchess was down in it dead....poor MayDay wouldn't budge until they covered her body J.W. took care of it.... as all I could do was cry...

..well, he was a good man, and was good to my Mom....I am grateful she had him in her life. They made the most of their time together.....

Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Robert on August 20, 2008, 01:25:56 am
ronnie.

my deepest condolences to you and your mother.  JW sounds like a true cowboy who knew the worth of character, the pleasure of working and the dignity of caring.

god bless.

robert
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on August 20, 2008, 09:19:45 am
Oh Ron I'm sorry to hear that JW passed away. I wish that you and your Mom find Peace.   The memories of JW sound like they will carry you a long way.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: AlanBama on August 20, 2008, 02:00:48 pm
Ronnie,

My sympathies to you and your family.   May he rest in peace..


hugs,

Alan   :'(
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on August 21, 2008, 12:47:12 pm
Than you all, here and through PM's, for you words of encouragement.

Mom and JW never got this far in their 'future plans'.....

She was still undecided on where to bury, and how...casket or cremation.....

As organized as she usually is in regards to all aspects of life, preparing for death has been a touchy subject.

...I remember once, when she was still married to 1st step father Bill, that he had a Funeral Director, or whoever does the selling for plots and caskets come to the house one day with these brochures and when she entered the room and realized just who he was...

...Mom had a fit and ran him out of the house....we have never brought up the subject again....except...

...now, I think I will have to take that 'leap of faith' and ask her just what does she want done when it's her time....

Katie and I have both stated that we want to be cremated...NO open casket for me...

*no one can do my hair right, but me*

JW had a daughter and a son from his first marriage. His first wife died of cancer. They should be arriving in town by now, or tomorrow.

Maybe they will have input that Mom is waiting for....

So, day 1 has been uneventful...

one life stops...others go on...
I am having moments. I feel like I have taken refuge in a Snowglobe and everything is whirling, then settling.

There will be a Memorial tomorrow, Friday, at 1pm. Robert and Dewane will be there, can't get hold of Daniel. (he will be pissed..family events, rituals, traditions, have become VERY important to him lately..)

The decision went to Cremation. Mom bought an Urn. I haven't seen it yet.

I have this HUGE pimple growing on the side of my nose. I've mashed it and got TONS of gunk....am debating on whether to risk bouts of diaherrea by taking some of those leftover antibiotics to try and clear it up....

...I find myself sitting on the front porch a lot lately...watching the rain, the birds, lizards, cats....

,,,letting my snowglobe settle before it gets shaken up again..

...and the phone just rang and it's Mom....needing to ensure she has names spelled correctly for the obituary...
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on August 21, 2008, 01:04:27 pm
Than you all, here and through PM's, for you words of encouragement.



Ronnie just remember THIS: when one door of life closes for someone who has passed-on, another door is opened, and I mean that is a very positive way  :)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on August 22, 2008, 02:17:58 am
Now I know what Mom was mulling over...

JW is a War Veteran. My Grandfather(Daddy) was a War Veteran. If it's the same, at Daddy's funeral they had a flag over the casket.

There were other Veterans there and Taps was played at the end of the service as the flag was folded and given to Uncle Sonny....I assume in this case Mom will get the flag.

We have been going through 'stuff' at the house as there will be a display...his uniform, picture, etc...

Mom has been very calm and organized...It turns out that JW already had a plot next to his first wife (who died of cancer)...Mom and JW have been married for...about... 35 years?? ...

The Funeral Director advised Mom that they could bury an Urn under the headstone leaving plenty of room in the plot for a casket, or other urns....

..i.e.....she now has a place to be buried, she advised me...I just now need to know if in casket or urn.....

I have invaded one of my three closets...and found 3 shirts that I can still fit in....pants are another story... :-\

I..can...just...get...the...button...almost....to ...the...oh forget it...

I'm going to have to run to WalMart between now and 10am to buy a pair of black pants....

My Tux and sports jackets all have holes in them...dang it... >:(  moths...maybe some burning seeds... ::) The clothes in this particular closet have just hung there for at least 8 years....

I can just wear the shirt (one is white with a 'design' down the front that when buttoned, looks like a black tie, the other shirt is black with a 'white tie'...from International Male) and black pants, or buy a sport jacket...I will just know, when I'm at Walmart and see what they have...


Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on August 22, 2008, 01:02:31 pm
Ron.....quote you......"My Tux and sports jackets all have holes in them...dang it...   moths...maybe some burning seeds...  The clothes in this particular closet have just hung there for at least 8 years...."
Yup.  The year before my Mom died we had a scare and I thought for sure she was a goner....so I opened my closet and had exactly the same experience as you. Nothing fit, it was all over 8 years old anyway, so I asked Kurt to give me a new suit for Christmas that year, which he so kindly did.  I hung the new suit up ....all prepared for the memorial service and etc.  Well, a year went by and in the meantime a friend died then another and another.  That suit saw its duty before my Mom died...and I was prepared when she did.
Hope you find some clothes that fit you well.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on August 22, 2008, 10:59:26 pm
I found black pants at WalMart. I was in the dressing room for what seemed an eternity. I HATE dressing rooms and I always break a sweat in them. The attendant was very nice and kept asking if I was "ok?" as I was developing a lovely shade of red in the face and neck.and hugging and puffing. ::)

Dewayne got off work and we did our thing for the camera...

(http://i22.tinypic.com/2ajb9k7.jpg)

After the service, I was getting in the truck and POPPED the middle button off my shirt....it just made it...I was lucky, as I bought it when I was 20lbs lighter.. ::)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on August 22, 2008, 11:34:44 pm
Jw....

(http://i22.tinypic.com/e5s27t.jpg)


(http://i21.tinypic.com/5zfvps.jpg)


(http://i22.tinypic.com/mhbxc9.jpg)

We were entering the building and this strange woman was poking in me in my arm....I looked at her and stopped short...it was my Aunt Sue with BLOND hair, she's a brunette, and she looked just like Mother....

Another woman said, hello Ronnie and it was my Aunt Tresa..again, I did not recognize her...I did recognize their husbands and then my little sister Terry arrived eith her husband and two children.

Robert and Paulette, who, it was the first time Mom had met Paulette.

The Flag ceremony from the Air Corps was moving, and Terry was siting in front of me and I saw she had started. blubbering, as I, and I was going to give her a tissue. There were tissue boxes in all the benches.

The Flag Ceremony is done in pure silence and as I started to pull the tissue, I could hear the rasping of tissue scraping on box and it continued as the tissues were stuck together and I suddenly felt like a clown in the circus with the never ending stream of handkerchiefs....

Finally, it stopped after I got a handful and I was too late as her husband had already given her his handkerchief....

Mom had decided to let JW's son, Edwin,  have the flag, so after they folded it, they presented it to him. He accepted the flag and turned to Mom who was seated behind him for everyone to know acknowledge that she had surrendered the flag to him...and then one of the Air Corps played 'Taps' on a bugle from the back of the room:
(this is not from our funeral, but it is almost exactly as it was:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ku1LxxRaRLI&feature=related

The piano player played JW's favorite song, Alley cat...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lIxJTV0ZSo

..and there were some appropriate Hymns....and it ended with...the Air Force song...'Wild Blue Yonder'

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TvzN75lWlTs

Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on August 23, 2008, 10:18:03 am
That was really nice of your mom.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: aztecan on August 23, 2008, 12:19:33 pm
Hey Ronnie,

My condolences on the loss of your step dad.

You've really been through it lately.

Hang in there.

HUGS,

Mark
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Snowangel on August 23, 2008, 02:31:16 pm
My goodness, I just got caught up here. 
I was so sorry to hear about your Aunt and your step-father passing.
I hope you have been feeling better.
Snow
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Snowangel on August 25, 2008, 11:37:18 am
Rondrond-
I was thinking of you this weekend.  I was out tag-saleing and saw a dragon in a snow globe. I hope you and your Mom, Katie and the rest of the family are doing OK.

Snow
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on August 26, 2008, 01:29:39 am
Rondrond-
I was thinking of you this weekend.  I was out tag-saleing and saw a dragon in a snow globe. I hope you and your Mom, Katie and the rest of the family are doing OK.

Snow

Hi Snow,

I have been out of pocket for the past week. After the funeral, there were suddenly all of these flowers to deal with. Mom's house looks like a florist. We have been moving the larger flowers to vases and throwing out those that are dying, and giving away.....

Going through stacks of paperwork....social security, retirement, insurance....stuff....

JW's clothes.....the house is FULL of stuff she has been trying to get rid of...

Opening the garage door ...one step in...one step back...and shut the door completely overwhelmed by the warehouse it has become...Mom and JW collected quite a bit of stuff in the past 30 years.....

then there are several storage units.. :o stuff from after my father died, from the nightmare of my first stepfather....memories just stuffed into storage and forgotten....but, can't just throw out as there is some good memories intermingled in the bad memories....

Furniture from when Mother died and then when Daddy died...

We just looked at each other not knowing where to begin...finally decided to take care of the money situation first...

just what she has and will have...found paperwork on the ranch.....I though they had sold it...well they were going to, then had a foreman watching it, who decided that he wanted to buy it....

where's the horses?...on the ranch...then ...the foreman did buy it lock,  stock and barrel...

..so, I don't have to worry about feeding any horses...

need to get death certificates for everyone ....might as well put it in the printer and push 'print a ton'....

..so now we're waiting to hear from these people and get their responses and doing research on death benefits of a widow as though she has been a widow before, that was 51 years ago and things might just be a little different this time...

...and these FLOWERS are everywhere...I brought some home...

(http://i21.tinypic.com/28stpox.jpg)

(http://i38.tinypic.com/314wabc.jpg)

(http://i23.tinypic.com/250kpas.jpg)

..they were a lot larger with the gladiolas in them..I pulled them out today and put in a vase...

(http://i36.tinypic.com/2popsia.jpg)

Because it rained for three days, I had to mow the front and back yard. I have discovered that there are several plants that I do not now the name of...but everything is blooming...

Liriope Big Bluie (monkey grass), orange spider lilies, lantana...these purple flowers I don't know what they're called, the crepe myrtle, ...these wandering jew looking ground creepers that have these intensely blue flowers that you can see clear across the yard..trumpeter vines with blooms so red that I can see them from my bedroom window...

Irises are growing and getting ready for their second blooming, as are the Star Gazer Lilies, and my red amaryllis has come up, but it has never bloomed...maybe this year...and I have 3 red spider lilies....

After mowing the back yard, I was hot and red and though I am not red anymore, I still feel hot.....

..Katie has been sick. She awoke @3am with a burning fever and then got body shaking chills...I gave her Tyenol and her fever went down...
in the morning she was hot again, Mom came over and brought a thermometer...Temp 102....more Tylenol....fever went down...she stayed in bed all day Saturday....

...got up Sunday and appeared ok...played Pogo for a couple of hours and after dinner went to bed..She went all day Monday with no complaints until after dinner when she got chilled to the bone, started aching, edema in legs and feet were so severe that she swore they were going to pop...took a water pill.....

...I have been giving tylenol and placing a wet towel around her neck...anything to help her get out of bed if only to use the toilet....anything to not be that third arm...

...it's working as she has made it to the toilet every day...

I go to the doctor tomorrow, and I will have the same list of body aches, but the bumps in my scalp have gone...and the rash is gone...I guess the Doxepin worked...

September will be a busy 'go to doctor' month....two dental appointments for deep scaling/cleaning, sleep study, colonoscopy, EKG...bi-weekly blood draws for INR...

Today was the first day of school for the Fort Worth school district...Labor Day Weekend (no plans). :(
Halloween (no plans)  :(
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on August 26, 2008, 08:08:49 am
Hi Ron
The flowers are so pretty. A reminder of how fleeting beauty and life can be.
Hey, I wouldnt worry about Haloween yet! lol Not having plans sounds like  a good thing to me. Kurt and I dont make plans either.

Joel
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on August 26, 2008, 12:55:12 pm
I haven't even thought about Halloween. Hell its not even September yet. LOL
I don't recall ever doing anything for Labor day aside from sitting on my rear.

I love Halloween though. Playing dress up is fun.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Snowangel on August 26, 2008, 01:01:14 pm
Beautiful flowers!
Your step-Dad was well loved!
I hope Katie is feeling better.
I don't have any plans either except to take the kids trick or treating. Probably with a Batman, a Princess, and maybe a Naruto and Pokeman in tow. 
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on August 27, 2008, 01:50:09 am
It's weird to think of Halloween in September, but I have to be prepared. We don't give candy out to neighbor kids anymore, just shut the gate and leave the lights off.

I have found that the Community centers have Excellent Halloween carnivals that are much better and safer. Even made money st the River Oaks Community Center where a bank sponosored one of the booths which was a stock pond full of pellets..stuff...and in the bottom they had put silver dollars...

I could only yell, "dive, dive," everytime they came up empty handed.....

However, it is one of the times that Katie gets to see her grandchildren....and I learned my lesson well, with  McKayla standing there with hand on hip and tapping her foot.....and us with no candy in the house....well, that was a big NONO...

I'm trained real well now, as every time I see something in the store, I buy it and we have a special KIDS box for emergency gifts....

I went to see Dr D today. I gained another 3 pounds  >:(  I was so distressed that eating RIGHT has made me blossom....I was doing better before I talked to the nutritionist...counting calories....someone my size and age should be intaking @1500 calories. To lose wight, deduct 200 calories. My calorie intake is 1200.

I had my journal/chart, with the foods I eat, and their caloric value. and I still gained weight. But the kicker is....my belt still fastens on the third notch. My waist is not getting any larger....so where is it?

She did mention that my edema could be a contributing factor...water....I'm sick of it

So I weigh 266   BP was 134/86    thanks to my double whammy...atenolol and lisinopril

INR 3.0  perfect

She did find two spots on my scalp behind my ear so I am to continue the Doxepin.

..and my next visit 26sept08 I will have labs done to see how my CD4/VL are doing....




Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Robert on August 28, 2008, 06:54:27 pm

Quote
but for now I’ll continue to get a kick out of someone finding me sexy again!

Hi Emma ~~  WOW...that's a great feeling, isn't it?

Congratulations ~~~.  All I can say is take it and run with it.  What a great way to end the summer.  Come next week, it's September and my favorite season commences and you'll be back in school, teaching those kids a thing or two.  Feeling sexy and all, I have a notion that those kids are going to sit up and listen.  They are so lucky.

robert
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on August 28, 2008, 07:41:48 pm
I scrolled and scrolled and scrolled and I still didn't see that.    :-\

Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on August 29, 2008, 02:12:12 am
Rondrond-
I was thinking of you this weekend.  I was out tag-saleing and saw a dragon in a snow globe. I hope you and your Mom, Katie and the rest of the family are doing OK.

Snow

ooooh..a Dragon Snowglobe....hmm...

It never hurts to have a wishlist out there for the person who draws your name.. ;)
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on August 29, 2008, 02:30:41 am
hmmm. *squish* ...*squash*....we have been squished together. It also seems that a few posts intended for another thread made their way over here.

Well, Katie has been sick....fever, chills, and her leg is grossly swollen and red..

We both have shared the joy of having DVT's only hers is GROSSLY swollen where mine is grossly swollen... ::)

All my advice which consisted of these words "call your doctor"....repeated over and over fell on deaf ears. I finally called Mom....

....apprised her of the situation....asked her to please talk some sense to her daughter....and handed Katie the phone...

.."who's this?" .."I didn't hear the phone ring".....

"It's Mom...I called her"....

so, Katie went to the doctor today.. ::)

MITS picked her up at 245pm and she returned at 5pm with a diagnosis of Cellulitis....k.....

"I have an infection in my leg...and was given antibiotics" .."k...but how did you get it?"...

"Is it contagious?"......had to google and did NOT like what I read....and still don't know much more than before I googled...

Wik states that cellulitis itself is not contagious, but the bacteria that causes it can be passed from one person to another???....well, that sounds contagious to me...

I was not happy to read of the risks to one with HIV....err...me...

could not find anything regarding a pregnant woman as her aide Jessie , is pregnant....

still don't have a satisfactory explanation of just where did the bacteria come from and how to nuke it...I need to know where to nuke...

we already have GERM X bottles throughout the house and wipes and there just should not be any bacteria living here...

I'm going to have to call Dr D tomorrow and see if she can calm my mind.....give me some straight answers as the internet has let me down...
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Snowangel on August 29, 2008, 10:13:28 am
Rondrond-
Sorry to hear about Katie's legs and infection.  Can you call your ID doc and see if you need to worry?  My first ID doc, I could call and ask anything and they were very helpful, the one I have here is not so nice :-\

If I ever see another one, I will definately pick it up for you.   ;D  I didn't want you to think you had a wierdo in Mass stalking you, but you had spoken about dragons and snowglobes?  :)  Since you already think I'm strange, can I ask if you have slept in your bedroom yet? ;D

How is your Mom doing with JW's passing?

Snow
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on August 29, 2008, 11:08:09 am
Rondrond-
Sorry to hear about Katie's legs and infection.  Can you call your ID doc and see if you need to worry?  My first ID doc, I could call and ask anything and they were very helpful, the one I have here is not so nice :-\

If I ever see another one, I will definately pick it up for you.   ;D  I didn't want you to think you had a wierdo in Mass stalking you, but you had spoken about dragons and snowglobes?  :)  Since you already think I'm strange, can I ask if you have slept in your bedroom yet? ;D

How is your Mom doing with JW's passing?

Snow

Hi Snow,
talked to Dr and she gave me a Rx for antibiotics as a prophylactic measure. It's skin to skin, not air borne, so just follow the signs over the sink...

Wash your hands...

No, I haven't slept in my bed yet. Still doing the couch. ..idk...what with everyone dying all of a sudden...the words...'passed peacefully in their sleep' ...i,e,..they were in bed...bed=death..they were up and fine during the day..then went to bed.....weird...I know...wiill probably have to have therapy.....

Mom is doing great. I guess after years of watching someone suffer, it's a releif to know that they aren't suffering anymore.

Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on August 30, 2008, 02:24:21 pm
Hi Ron
I'm glad to hear your
Mom is doing well.   :)
Now, lets get serious about our haloween costumes for a moment.  I love the Oriental Trading Company.....its so tacky.....
http://www.orientaltrading.com/ui/browse/processRequest.do?requestURI=processProductsCatalog&sku=25/4497&tabId=Halloween&BP=8067&cm_mmc=srchdex-_-Glitter+Nun+Costume-_-srchdex-_-srchdex&CM_REF=http%3A%2F%2Faolsearch.aol.com%2Faol%2FimageDetails%3FinvocationType%3DimageDetails%26query%3Dhaloween%2Bnuns%26img%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252Fimage.orientaltrading.com%252Fotcimg%252F25_4497.jpg%26site%3D%26host%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.orientaltrading.com%252Fproducts%252F25_4497.jsp%26width%3D120%26height%3D120%26thumbUrl%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252Fimages-partners-tbn.google.com%252Fimages%253Fq%253Dtbn%253AkUO2qLUq7Jp_WM%253Aimage.orientaltrading.com%252Fotcimg%252F25_4497.jpg%26b%3Dimage%253FinvocationType%253Dtopsearchbox.image%2526imgsz%253D%2526query%253Dhaloween%252Bnuns
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: denb45 on August 30, 2008, 02:29:19 pm
Hi Ron
I'm glad to hear your
Mom is doing well.   :)
Now, lets get serious about our haloween costumes for a moment.  I love the Oriental Trading Company.....its so tacky.....
http://www.orientaltrading.com/ui/browse/processRequest.do?requestURI=processProductsCatalog&sku=25/4497&tabId=Halloween&BP=8067&cm_mmc=srchdex-_-Glitter+Nun+Costume-_-srchdex-_-srchdex&CM_REF=http%3A%2F%2Faolsearch.aol.com%2Faol%2FimageDetails%3FinvocationType%3DimageDetails%26query%3Dhaloween%2Bnuns%26img%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252Fimage.orientaltrading.com%252Fotcimg%252F25_4497.jpg%26site%3D%26host%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.orientaltrading.com%252Fproducts%252F25_4497.jsp%26width%3D120%26height%3D120%26thumbUrl%3Dhttp%253A%252F%252Fimages-partners-tbn.google.com%252Fimages%253Fq%253Dtbn%253AkUO2qLUq7Jp_WM%253Aimage.orientaltrading.com%252Fotcimg%252F25_4497.jpg%26b%3Dimage%253FinvocationType%253Dtopsearchbox.image%2526imgsz%253D%2526query%253Dhaloween%252Bnuns


Oh  ;D I LOVE the Glitter Nun Costume , I'd wear that with my Bushy Goatee and 5 O'clock Shadow, now how campy is that  :D
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Winiroo on August 30, 2008, 02:52:23 pm
This one caught my eye.
(http://image.orientaltrading.com/otcimg/haf091.jpg?resize(350x350))
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Snowangel on August 30, 2008, 04:46:26 pm
Oh Win, that is a good one.  My aunt and uncle just bought a property a year or two ago, that actually has on the deed that no peacocks are allowed.  We have been buying them peacocks since we found that out.

Rondrond- Glad your doc put you on meds.  I can totally understand the bed situation.  It is all where you are comfortable and get the best rest.
Snow
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on August 31, 2008, 01:24:10 am
I like the Royal Sultan..sans pants...just tunic.. ::)

Would have to pull out some of Granny's costume jewelry...gotta sparkle


by bedtime, Katie's leg did some more swelling. She is in pain. She is on pain medication. It's only been two days since taking antibiotic...website stated that it could take up to 3 weeks to cure...

If it stays swollen and continues to hurt will probably have to spend a Holiday Sunday at the ER....

If we could take the electric chair, it would be just WONderful...

Mom has two planks'ramps that they used to put riding mowers in a trailer to mow at the ranch.....

..might work...but the tailgate on my truck is higher than a trailer...

Since taking the antibiotics I've pooped my britches twice... >:(

I need a banana in my ear....

Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on September 01, 2008, 01:05:24 am
Katie has a hospital bed and I made sure that she had the bottom elevated all night. When she awoke, the swelling in her leg had gone down considerably. ...no ER..... :D

Received a letter from Binder & Binder wanting me to call regarding details of my case. Could be nothing but data collecting;/updating or ...do I dare think it?...

....a Court Date before a judge?...nah...probably just too much to hope for...

Of course it's a 3 day weekend and I won't be able to call until Tuesday...sigh...







Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Snowangel on September 01, 2008, 09:25:49 am
UGH! Don't you hate that?  You finally get something you have been waiting for forever and you have to wait.  I hope it is a court date.

Glad to hear the swelling went down in Katie's leg.

Have a nice Labor Day!
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on September 03, 2008, 04:28:26 am
UGH! Don't you hate that?  You finally get something you have been waiting for forever and you have to wait.  I hope it is a court date.

Glad to hear the swelling went down in Katie's leg.

Have a nice Labor Day!

Well, it was just an update on doctor visits....NO court date is in the near future...

I received a phone call from Sleep Link today. They will be doing the Sleep Study my Dr ordered last month.

She will send me directions in the mail. It will be in Hurst, which is a little drive, but probably not any farther than driving to the hospital.....just going in the opposite direction.

I don't know what to expect. Hoping it will be like a weekend getaway at a cheap Motel. So far, I just know that it will start at 9pm on Sept 9th, and I will be released at 5am.

Should prove interesting as I have my first Dental deep planing/cleaning scheduled at 1140am on that same day, and my EKG at 1pm on the day I'm released.

I hope I get a good nights sleep for them, as currently that Doxepin knocks me out for 12 hours, and then if I sit down, it's lights out for another 4 hours..will be glad when these bumps stop appearing in my hairline so I can stop the Doxepin.

But after waiting 5 months for appointments.....I guess I'll be shooting back shots of Espresso....


Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on September 03, 2008, 08:32:16 am
I will be interested to hear how the sleep study goes.....as I have sleep "issues" as well. Good luck.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: Snowangel on September 03, 2008, 02:05:38 pm
Good Luck with all the appointments!  If I even had one shot of expresso, I would be wired for sound for days.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on September 05, 2008, 03:41:29 am
I will be interested to hear how the sleep study goes.....as I have sleep "issues" as well. Good luck.

I don't know why, but this makes me nervous. I enjoy traveling and staying in hotels, but my dreams of a 'holiday'' atmosphere melted when I got this letter from Sleep Link today...

I associated with #3 the most...

(http://i20.tinypic.com/zwb7gy.jpg)

(http://i23.tinypic.com/nowmww.jpg)

Now I have to 'pack' for an eight hour nap...maybe I'll go to sleep while there...I usually don't go to sleep until 3am...awake at 9am...sleep again until 1pm....eat lunch and sleep again until 4pm...

According to Katie, it's a deep sleep and I don't wake up for nothing, even the phone ringing...

which, Katie had to take a message as I was sound asleep when the Dental Clinic called today and moved my appointment to the 8th instead of the 9th.

I had another outbreak of bumps on the back of my neck right in the hairline...large and painful, but they cleared up almost overnight...

I don't know if I will ever be off this Doxepin...

Lost 3 pounds...then when I weighed this afternoon, lost 10 pounds...the dang thing must be broken...or...I just don't see it,...still on the third hole of my belt...

Katie's edema has gone down a little, and the redness. There is a bump on her calf...we suspect another DVT...so back to the doctor she must go...

At least we can still bend her leg, but it still is warm to the touch, has a slight fever...

My DVT calf stays swollen all the time, (it looks like an upside down champagne bottle)...and is always warm, so I don't know....

I spent two hours of my 'awake' time, clearing vines off the fence between me and neighbor and rescuing a white blooming crepe myrtle from a sea of vines....

unfortunately, it is growing on neighbors side of the fence, but I am hoping of taking a cutting a trying to grow one for the front yard.

I have a crepe myrtle in the front corner that is pink, and it has bloomed profusely.  The front yard is pink from the wind and falling blossoms...

We're down to carnations, mums and ferns....I have them in a vase, and now..what do you do with those white baskets with the arched handle?....Katie goes.."oh, how pretty, for a vase"..I go..."girl..this just screams...FUNERAL"....

So it's in the garage...I took a lot of the ferns and stuck them in a planter....maybe they'll grow, maybe not...I'm weird...and sometimes lucky....sometimes I cam get a stick to sprout..idk.. surprise myself...

Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on September 06, 2008, 02:42:52 am
Mary, Mary,
Quite contrary,
How does your garden grow?...

Well, after a 13 hour sleep, in my 'awake' mode, I still satisfy my 'cardio' for the Dr and I have slowly been clearing a WALL of vines off a section of the fence...

(http://i35.tinypic.com/8xknqh.jpg)

HOORAY for those cordless clippers..they kinda slice through those vines. They had grown up into those trees.

these are my lisiopre Big Blue monkey grass...

(http://i37.tinypic.com/iwsp3p.jpg)

and then the lantana

(http://i36.tinypic.com/54vxc1.jpg)

in some places they call lantana a weed, but I love it...it loves drought and takes no care at all and blooms all summer long.

Across the front yard along the fence are these plants that have just bloomed, and I have NO idea what they are called....

(http://i35.tinypic.com/6y13zd.jpg)

so lantana in one corner and the across the front mystery plants and then in the other corner is the crepe myrtle

(http://i36.tinypic.com/r7rqep.jpg)

It is very tall and has to fight for space with a pecan tree, oak tree, and a mulberry tree.....

the pecans are dropping and I have started a bucket for them, making my rounds...I have a pecan tree in the front yard, at the back door is a pecan tree growing on the fence line...so I only take the pecans that fall on my side....

The duplex has a pecan tree of all pecan trees, I have never seen such a huge tree, and since that don't mow their grass, I don't even think that they know there is a pecan tree back there...some of the branches hang over my yard so I get more pecans there...

And Mr Turtle is still in the back yard...but this turtle shell seems lighter than the turtle from 3 months ago...so I don't know if it is the same turtle...

These Mystery Plants have started showing up all over the place and I have NO idea what they are....maybe they'll bloom, or maybe, this is it....

(http://i34.tinypic.com/30dc57a.jpg)

they are in the flower beds....idk....when my dog was still alive she pretty much didn't allow too much to grow as she would patrol the fence line...so these are new to me....

I am lost..I don't know what to do....I broke my weedeater.... :(

the wire got caught on a piece of fence or something and it must have wrapped around and pulled the cover off..destroying the cover in the process..

Hopefully, Walmart will have a replacement....if not, there is the BIG MANS weedeater in the corner...it runs on an oil/gas mixture which frightens me....

mine is a cordless....wannabe weedeater....maybe I'll give the BIG one a try....I wonder if that gas/oil mixture comes pre mixed?....

I
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on September 06, 2008, 09:46:53 am
Ron
Summer flowers are beautiful. Good pictures too. I have fond memories of mixing oil into gasoline for the lawn mower.  Its been a long time tho, since here in Philadelphia I have a postage stamp backyard and have everything in pots pretty much.  I do have an OLD OLD brick sidewalk by my house and if I didnt pull grass and weeds it would look like a lawn......lol. 
With the approaching hurricane, I am considering bringing the plants in pots into the basement as I remember one other wind storm that left my backyard a mass of broken pottery.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on September 09, 2008, 02:34:36 am
I went to the dentist today for 1 of 2  deep cleanings. I was terrified. The last time I was here, I lost a tooth... :D

The technician was a Chatty Cathy and talking up a storm. I could barely understand her as she had on enough protective headgear to protect her from ....me.. :-\

She was very friendly and right away remarked that I MUST have been born or grown up in the panhandle and drank well water.

I 'fessed up' that yup, I was a native Texan born and raised and born in Borger. She stopped what she was doing and stated that she too, had been born in Borger.

Of course, it was the same Hospitals as there is probably only one hospital there, and her father worked for Phillips 66 as had my father.

Ya know...life is so strange sometimes. This is the SECOND person I have met in the last 3 years who was born in Borger. The first was Tom, who not only was born in Borger, but on the same day as me, same hospital.....

..his father also worked for Phillips 66..it was a very strange beginning for our relationship that did not last long as he was very ill and died within 6 months.... :(

Well, after all that, she got busy in my mouth...she swabbed a topical solution over my gums for numbing which must have been some advanced scientific discovery...

...usually they are injecting with these long needles....well the swabbing did a very good job as I really did not feel any pain.....except for two spots....

I have two cavities... >:(  55 and now cavities develop....she remarked that I had good strong teeth, as most people born in mid Texas who drank well water....which was a problem...

...we have problems under the teeth that go unnoticed until it's too late to do anything but pull perfectly healthy teeth... ???

She consoled me by stating that IF I adhered to PROPER brushing and flossing AND coming to the dentist on a regular schedule..(NOT every 8 years  ::)) that she would help me not have to lose my teeth....

.....yes mam...

So she scraped and scraped and chatted away, but I only could understand small bits ....kinda like a radio that's not tuned to the station........

I have a dead tooth in the front that got smashed YEARS and years..and some more years ago....like when I was 16..

...West, Texas....in between Fort Worth and Waco....blink about 6 times and you pass it....but they have a swimming pool....HUGe and GRAND and BIG...and in the middle is a TOP that is anchored to the bottom...

You struggle to get to a ring around the top and you hang on and it spins.....if you lose your grip....off you go....

well, my step brother,  Bill Jr., decided to stand on top of the top and as it spun, stepping over and between the arms of those hanging on....

....misstepped and feel on top of a head...MINE....slamming my face into the surface...my two front teeth....well, it killed one of them....

....blink, blink...

oh yeah, well between that dead tooth and the next there is a space...she was scraping and chatting and I heard the words..root canal......chat,.chat.chat....???...??

I had the suction hose in my mouth...and had a grip on her arm...and then removing the hose....

..."what was that about root canal?"....so now I have two cavities and a root canal to look forward to...but...we're saving my teeth.... >:(

....a passing thought passes through...something about..".if it ain't broke, don't fix it"...and I must of had a sick look on my face as the receptionist took time from peering at the computer screen scanning for a date for my NEXT appointment and she says...

"it will be worse if you don't have it done.....believe me".. :D :D

Then the Tech comes up with a mirror and an armload of dental things...floss, fluoride in a bottle..cinnamon flavored...a toothbrush....(she told me to get an electric one...soon)., ..I looked at the mirror and she said "oh...that's for now..take a look"...

...and I suddenly felt ...'.loved'....looking at my WHITE, healthy looking teeth and gums.... ;D

So, I have to go back tomorrow morning for phase two.....more scraping, but not too much...she stated that she had gotten a LOT of it today...and then those cavities/root canal OCT 15th.

On the way home, I stopped at Ace Hardware, trying to find a replacement cap for my weed eater...they didn't have it....

...to The Lawn and Garden spot in River Oaks....the don't carry parts for Black & Decker...was referred to the Black/Decker specialty shop on I-20 and Beach which is on the other side of town....

...so instead I went home and will go there tomorrow...

...went to sleep...woke up at 6pm and it was RAINING....which pleased the punch out of Katie....(she pays the water bill)...stating"oh, it' been raining, so you won't need to water the yard"..

I opened the door anyway stating...."it might not have rained enough".... :D






Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on September 09, 2008, 08:53:38 am
Dont you just love it when they give you all that "free" stuff at the end of a dental appointment.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on September 11, 2008, 03:58:04 am
My second trip to the dentist. More scraping. Turns out that I don't need a Root Canal. Apparently, while in an inverted reclined position in the dental chair, all the blood rushed to my head and upon standing...I was a little confused...

She was stating what could happen if I don't follow the program of 'Good Hygiene'....

I also don't have 2 cavities, but two spots on one tooth, so will only need one filling...

Excellent....

Got home and passed out on the couch. Then I had my Sleep study at 845pm. I shaved and showered and packed a bag with two books and a pillow and some wash cloths and extra underwear.....in case  anything 'untowards' should occur.... ::) Last week I've only had to change underwear twice a day....

It was getting dark and I had gogled mapsco and found it 'somewhere' behind Northeast Mall in Hurst. I used to travel this road on the way to the airport when I worked for AA, so had a general idea of where to go...

I was nervous about driving at night also as my eyesight hasn't been up to par lately and I haven't done any night driving in months....but there was NO PROBLEM...I can still drive day and night... :D

There was a moment there with those tiny little numbers on street signs, turned to the side so you can't see them unless you're right in front of them.... ???

but I finally pulled over in a strip mall and got an address and deducted that I was only 5 blocks away....

There was only one car in the parking lot, and I was a little concerned for the safety of my truck..

The attendant was in the back somewhere and I had opened the door that did not have these wind chimes on them, so I batted them to let her know I was there...

Had to fill out a questionnaire ....EIGHT pages of the thing...some 'yes', 'no', ...some of the ,' never', 'sometimes', 'frequently',' always'...a lot did not pertain to me, so I just said "NO'...some I just downright guessed on....

My biggest problem was in determining if my sleep problems are from, HIV, depression, DVT, pain, meds....or all of the above....which most of the questions were geared, it seemed to finding outside influences...

she showed me my room....y'all, I just went with the flow.....in for a dime, in for a dollar...the furniture was CHEAP...looked like it had been purchased from Thrift Town, or the occasional bargain you find at the curb....

It seemed clean enough....the attendant was friendly....I needed this test to satisfy doctor and hopefully future life events....such as Disability Determination....(the more medical the better)...

So,, I got over that it wasn't the Waikiki Grand in Hawaii, and let her hook me up to these probes....lots of wires....some kind of sticky gel...

...right in the middle of my forehead above my eyes...on each side of my eyes, chest, on each leg....then she started poking around in my hair....so...yes...about three globs of goo and probes on top of my head and on the back, and on the sides...I wasn't happy about it....but there I was...

...plugged all this in to a box, did a system check and I laid back and opened my book...with only a table lamp..(some piece of wood that looked like Jeannie's bottle and a burlap shade...very dark...

..gave up on the book after one paragraph, emptied my mind by envisioning the wind and surf on the beach at Waikiki, and passed out.

Awoke to a dark room, ....she had snuck in and turned off the lamp....and lay there watching dark swirls in the dark....no TV, no radio, no light....no computer...no clock....

so I spent the night, between wakefulness and passing out...

finally 430 am. I was scheduled for 9pm to 5am. She opened the door and seeing I was awake, asked if I needed anything..."yes. the bathroom"..so she unhooked me....

hooked back up, waited for the final thirty minutes..and then, lights up, and removed the probes.

...I asked."well, how did I do?..did I snore?"....and she said.."oh yeah, and that she would probably see me again as I had had several 'events'...an event being defined as I had stopped breathing.....

.and those blobs in my hair were ...solidified. like chewing gum, if you've ever gone to sleep with gum in your mouth and woke up to the mystery of the missing gum....and then a trendsetting 'chunky' haircut from cutting it out of your hair.....

had to complete a survey of my 'experience'....and went home....

..passed out until Jessie showed up at 9am and ..ugh....this after sleeping all night...amazing that I still craved sleep...

back to sleep until 11am and then I hit the shower to wash that goo out of my hair for...

my appointment at JPS for my EKG at 1pm.....I've never had one before, and it was 'fun'....I got to see my heart and this flap and it was in black and white...so all I saw was this image with a flap, so I had to ask "is it empty?...I don't see any blood in there"...

..."oh, yeah. there's blood'"....I couldn't get anything out of her as to the condition of my heart or what was going on with the old ticker....and I was being very charming....

So, I got home and called my case worker, Paula, who was so glad I did as I am apparently some kind of guinea pig for these services I've been getting as there had been a change in systems and stuff, and they didn't know if JPS would take a referral from them for these procedures,  and now they know....so they can start sending others....

now, I get to wait for my next appointment with Dr D to get my 3 month labs on the 26th..
















Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: bear60 on September 11, 2008, 08:53:22 am
hmmmmmmmmmmm  "events"  huh.... ok. You were not aware you were having "events"?  Its pretty standard fare with sleep apnea...my Dad had "events" while he slept.  I have "events." And...a friend who has "events" is now on some oxygen thingy that makes him breath while sleeping.
I hope you get it sorted out,.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on September 14, 2008, 04:52:11 am
hmmmmmmmmmmm  "events"  huh.... ok. You were not aware you were having "events"?  Its pretty standard fare with sleep apnea...my Dad had "events" while he slept.  I have "events." And...a friend who has "events" is now on some oxygen thingy that makes him breath while sleeping.
I hope you get it sorted out,.

This is a new development that just started last month. I started having dreams that I was under water and trying to get to the surface....and waking up just as I broke the surface...gasping for air...

I just thoughtI was having bad dreams....

Then Katie brought up that I would stop breathing.....

She has the same problem and has been on oxygen for 3 years. It's only when she is sleeping.
'I don't know what's going to come of it as JPS, though they did the test, won't supply the mask or oxygen.
Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on September 14, 2008, 05:27:21 am
This has been a strange week, working itself into a strange month and it all revolves around 'loss'...

My Aunt, Step-Father, and I have a friend who lives in Ohio whose brother passed away this afternoon. He had cancer and we have been in close communication for the past week, resolving issues.

Of course, Life insisted on stepping in....the roofers showed up, not to fix the roof, but to place a tarp over the affected area because of the expected rain this weekend...and...they'll be back...

Mom has been busy cleaning house and one thing I'm 'inheriting',  Zero Turn lawn mower, has to somehow fit into my garage....which means that I have to do some special cleaning/organizing....

McKayla has her 5th birthday coming up...I got a catalog that has these bean bags for kids..there's a pink one with ponies on it...she has really gotten interested in a pony since Robert bought those horses and keeps insisting that she wants a pony...

*good luck with that , mom & dad*..aaahhh..the joys of children that aren't yours.... :D

McKayla has also become a cheerleader for the PeeWee Little leagues... ???...boy, I don't remember cheerleaders until high school....

...and through all this, this thought keeps passing through as I trudge to the bedroom to take my handful of pills, stomp on a numb leg and feet as I cook our Heart Smart meals,... why?...

ok,,,I am taking meds and getting health..ier....for what?
what am I fighting for? i reach this goal of undetectable and then what?

as leatherman brought up in another post..how am I going to fill my hours of wakefulness?

no answer....



Title: Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
Post by: rondrond on September 20, 2008, 01:08:44 am
What a week that was...

I've been 'dealing' with Mom. Who is this woman? She has injured her knee somehow and somewhen and refuses to address it..

I get my little sister Terry involved by buzzing in Katie's ear, who buzzes in Terry's ear who then calls me....we have a rather strange system of communicating as little sister has only just started accepting me as I am....

However, being the 'baby' she has certain rights. This means that she can broach subjects with Mom and get an answer. Katie, has hers, I have mine, and then we have to meet and put it all together.

So, I am helping Mom around the house. She is pulling out all of JW's clothes and they are coming my way. So I am trying on jackets and shirts as she is going through this 'letting go' and remembering and
grieving in her own way.

Robert and I caravan one day because he has these marvelous metal folding thingies called a ramp...works wonderfully at getting the riding lawn mowers in our respective trucks. He is a mechanic for Pi