I Just Tested Poz / Hi all... feeling a bit lonely 🙁 no one know
« Last post by Smokiboy43 on Today at 06:56:28 pm »January 2023.
Sorry for my English
I'm not English native.
So I was starting feeling small medical issue and after almost one year I ask the doctor to make full blood test
And the message come.
My hart was bump, I was sure life is finish.
I had very hard days and didn't sleep well
I was started treatment and my body start to recovery..
So all my info is on my other posts.
Now after 1.5 year here my story.
So I started on VL 2 MILLION / CD4 48
Today my CD4 580 / VL 40
My body is very week I understand now why they suggested sport..
So when I'm doing sport j feel much better
So if you read that... make a lot of sport is very very important.
Because of my current status I become more close I'm afraid always someone will know, the only one who know is my wife ,
We do leave together but she is unhappy to find out I got it and she assuming I cheat
And she is very update why I was un protected and put her on risk
She don't have nothing but this what happens
So we not in the vest place on our relation
We dont sleep anymore
I dont even feel her support in my feeling
Because I do have a lot of time self blaim and her attitude not help at all
Because I can't talk about my feeling with no one and very loanly ... ( is very hard ))
On my work I lost lots of options to make my business successful and I also face financial problems, 🙃
Not that j don't make money, just i don't have similar financial income and I start lost confidence...
So it make my life more harder
I dont have the availability option to make-up my self and buy some happiness
Like travelling or just enjoy ... in same level like you can with be worries.
So I start become closer and affried and start disconected from ppl around and spend my days only focus on working ...
I do become very stress with any small medical issues ,
I still affried from some side effects of the biktarvy 💊 , the Internet full of bulshit ...
Guys don't read it if will make you depressed
So from time to time I still think I fuc ..my own life for just sex ..
And always affried to kiss, sex I don't have
Even to try out is not an option I don't want to cheat my wife but it looks I donr here
I'm not sure how I can recover my life when my head keep thinking death is closer 😕
I dont have any support
I'm too embarrassed to share someone
I have big kids
Italy here napoli is hard place for ppl like me
If someone know my kids will be suffering.
I was growing with knowledge about being positive, I don't think about my case most of the days, I live with the pill in peace and pry for some injection yo let me forget ..
Now my test lab is every 6 month and etc time I'm panic from bad news of pills side effect or other deasese...
Omg 😲 😱 😲
I fucket up my life in my head
My social life is dead
My wife become even not a friend just my kids mum and the woman who asking me financial support only.
Now next time going to check
Prostate, dick skin for issues , langs, liver , and all others issues
I'm very stress like always it will be in 3 week and I start become stress again .
I dont know how to bring back my life back
I move out from our room to my guest house
I dont even go out I working online
I'm made on my current status
And the worse
I know what ever I will do...
I can't get read of this shit 😒 😑 😫 😭 😪
Omg ..
Ok guys 👦
I'm sharing here I dont have other place
My ententionHello all , here more info about how my life is going since last year when u found out
January 2023.
Sorry for my English
I'm not English native.
So I was starting feeling small medical issue and after almost one year I ask the doctor to make full blood test
And the message come.
My hart was bump, I was sure life is finish.
I had very hard days and didn't sleep well
I was started treatment and my body start to recovery..
So all my info is on my other posts.
Now after 1.5 year here my story.
So I started on VL 2 MILLION / CD4 48
Today my CD4 580 / VL 40
My body is very week I understand now why they suggested sport..
So when I'm doing sport j feel much better
So if you read that... make a lot of sport is very very important.
Because of my current status I become more close I'm afraid always someone will know, the only one who know is my wife ,
We do leave together but she is unhappy to find out I got it and she assuming I cheat
And she is very update why I was un protected and put her on risk
She don't have nothing but this what happens
So we not in the vest place on our relation
We dont sleep anymore
I dont even feel her support in my feeling
Because I do have a lot of time self blaim and her attitude not help at all
Because I can't talk about my feeling with no one and very loanly ... ( is very hard ))
On my work I lost lots of options to make my business successful and I also face financial problems, 🙃
Not that j don't make money, just i don't have similar financial income and I start lost confidence...
So it make my life more harder
I dont have the availability option to make-up my self and buy some happiness
Like travelling or just enjoy ... in same level like you can with be worries.
So I start become closer and affried and start disconected from ppl around and spend my days only focus on working ...
I do become very stress with any small medical issues ,
I still affried from some side effects of the biktarvy 💊 , the Internet full of bulshit ...
Guys don't read it if will make you depressed
So from time to time I still think I fuc ..my own life for just sex ..
And always affried to kiss, sex I don't have
Even to try out is not an option I don't want to cheat my wife but it looks I donr here
I'm not sure how I can recover my life when my head keep thinking death is closer 😕
I dont have any support
I'm too embarrassed to share someone
I have big kids
Italy here napoli is hard place for ppl like me
If someone know my kids will be suffering.
I was growing with knowledge about being positive, I don't think about my case most of the days, I live with the pill in peace and pry for some injection yo let me forget ..
Now my test lab is every 6 month and etc time I'm panic from bad news of pills side effect or other deasese...
Omg 😲 😱 😲
I fucket up my life in my head
My social life is dead
My wife become even not a friend just my kids mum and the woman who asking me financial support only.
Now next time going to check
Prostate, dick skin for issues , langs, liver , and all others issues
I'm very stress like always it will be in 3 week and I start become stress again .
I dont know how to bring back my life back
I move out from our room to my guest house
I dont even go out I working online
I'm made on my current status
And the worse
I know what ever I will do...
I can't get read of this shit 😒 😑 😫 😭 😪
Omg ..
Ok guys 👦
I'm sharing here I dont have other place
My extention is just talk and clean my hart a bit from my feelings .
For all newbies
Life is defently better after some time
But I think support around you is the key 🔑
Unfortunately I need to keep walking on that blank and white 😩 road
Thx is just talk and clean my hart a bit from my feelings .
For all newbies
Life is defently better after some time
But I think support around you is the key 🔑
Unfortunately I need to keep walking on that blank and white 😩 road
Thx