mother is HIV+

[bestfriend]

Last year I found out my father has AIDS and my mother is HIV positive.  My dad was very ill but had cancer and we did not realize he also had AIDS.  It came as a TOTAL shock to me.  However my father carried on several affairs throughout my parents marriage, but my mother has chosen to stay with him.

Well now I have a toddler daughter.  I have tried as much as possible to educate myself about HIV and AIDS.  I admit before I used to have the mentality that people with these disease are scary.  My mother goes through periods where she will say you need to get tested and my daughter needs to get tested because she used to live with us.  She is afraid of giving it to someone.  At the same time she asks if it ok for my daughter to stay the night over or for the weekend.

Her comments have made me wonder if it's safe for her to be caring for my daughter. 

[Joe K]

I encourage to you to read about HIV transmission on this site, because your daughter has nothing to fear from your mother.  I`m a poz father, so I understand you might be concerned, but your fears are unwarranted.  HIV cannot be passed through casual contact.  Your mother poses no danger to your daughter because she is poz.

Joe

[deibster]

I agree, there is no danger to your child, as long as your mom knows to put a band aid on any cut the mom has right away. It only a problem if both of them have a cut at the same time.
I'm Poz and physically took care of my mom for 2 years after a couple of strokes. I helped her dress & undress & bathed her. She didn't catch anything from me.

I have 2 sons. My siblings & parents knew my status, but I didn't tell my sons, who I took care of on weekends, or their mother for 15 years & nothing happened to my sons. They get physicals for their jobs, every few yrs, with an HIV test and they're fine. Your daughter will be fine. Hugs, Deibster 

[Ann]

Friend, I've moved your thread into the Someone I Care About Has HIV forum. As you are not hiv positive yourself, the Someone forum is the appropriate place for you to post.

Please make sure you read the Welcome threads that appear at the top of some of the subforums so you can know and abide by our posting rules. You should particularly read the Welcome Thread  for the Am I Infected forum, as it has links to hiv transmission and testing information.

Unless your parents are having unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse or sharing needles to inject drugs with either you or your daughter, they are not going to put either of you at risk for hiv infection. Casual contact (including sharing eating utensils or drinking out of the same cup) is not a risk for hiv infection.

You only need to test if you've never been tested before and have had unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse with people of unknown or positive hiv status. Your baby daughter would only need to be tested if you test positive.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently (and don't share needles), and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!!!

Ann