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Author Topic: Gave Oral sex to HIV+ person, worried  (Read 981 times)

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Offline berryb90

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Gave Oral sex to HIV+ person, worried
« on: June 29, 2022, 01:50:34 pm »
Good afternoon,

So. 3 weeks ago, I had a friend over who I'd been talking to for about a year prior to meeting in person.

They're partnered and in an open relationship.

We got together, and this is what happened:

We made out a lot, exchangng quite a bit of saliva.

I sucked and licked his testicles, shaft, and briefly sucked his tip. However this was very brief. He did the same for me, before then I ate his rear for a bit, as well as fingered him a bit.

I called it off shortly after that mid session, because I saw ingrown hairs on his crotch, and it scared me (whole encounter lasted maybe 5 mins before I stopped). He said he'd get tested just to ease my mind, since it had been a few years since his last test.

Well yesterday, he texted me asking for my recent results (tested on 6/10, and I was negative)

He revealed he had tested positive for HIV.

Of course that's got me super concerned and worried. Everything I'm reading online, says that it's very unlikely to get HIV from oral sex.  But I wanted to get all yours opinion. I didn't have any sores, scrapes, or anything in my mouth at the time to my knowledge.

I can't help but obsessively worry. The encounter was 3 weeks ago, and it's got me paranoid I need to go get retested.

What are your thoughts? Any response would be appreciated.

Thank you

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Gave Oral sex to HIV+ person, worried
« Reply #1 on: June 29, 2022, 04:02:56 pm »
Quote
What are your thoughts?

Bold and I respect that. Anyhow, my thoughts, why do ingrown hairs scare you?

]i

Quote
It's got me paranoid
Quote
He said he'd get tested just to ease my mind

Yeah, sounds paranoid to me. Don't even understand why the person got tested for your peace of mind. Makes no sense as people lie (as full of shit,) and a nonreactive result would mean nothing to you due to the window period.

Instead you should simply presume anyone you have sex with is living untreated with HIV and choose to reduce your risks depending on your comfort level.

PrEP and condoms usage and you should test regularly if you want to know your HIV and STI status, nobody can test for you.

That's my thoughts or at least the polite rewrite
« Last Edit: June 29, 2022, 04:27:01 pm by Jim Allen »
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
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Read more about Testing here:
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You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
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PEP and PrEP

Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Gave Oral sex to HIV+ person, worried
« Reply #2 on: June 29, 2022, 04:11:51 pm »
Anyhow getting back to my job.

I read your post three times.

Saliva doesn't pass on HIV, in fact it's hostile towards HIV breaking down the receptors needed to infect. The kissing, receiving a blowjob and licking your balls. You rimming his ass wasn't an HIV risk to you either.

Sucking on his nuts also wasn't an HIV risk to you and lacks all the conditions required to aquire HIV.

As for sucking his penis, well, unless you have gaping open wounds like meth mouth, the mouth generally lacks a route for HIV to infect,  and even then saliva also neutralises HIV by damaging the receptors needed to infect human cells. It's such a minute HIV risk that it doesn't warrant specific testing outside of the standard yearly screening.

So you had no specific exposure to test over from what you posted here at least .

Here's what you need to know to avoid HIV infection:
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse correctly and consistently, with no exceptions. Consider talking to your healthcare provider about PrEP as an additional layer of protection against HIV

Keep in mind that some sexual practices described as safe in terms of acquiring HIV still pose a risk for other easier acquired STIs. So please do get tested at least yearly for STIs, including but not limited to HIV, and more frequently if condomless intercourse occurs.

Also, note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms, and the only way of knowing is by testing.

Kind regards

Jim

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« Last Edit: June 29, 2022, 04:31:24 pm by Jim Allen »
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline berryb90

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Re: Gave Oral sex to HIV+ person, worried
« Reply #3 on: June 29, 2022, 05:48:37 pm »
Hello Jim,
First off i appreciate your detailed response, it helps ease my mind a lot. I was hoping you'd be the one to reply, as i've seen similar responses of yours in other related posts.

Secondly, hes a friend ive been talking to for about a year regularly before we found time to meet up. The "Ingrown hairs" he said turned out to be Fordyce spots on his scrotum. He had asked the doctor when he went in for testing. (he said he had these spots since he was 12, so i wasn't too worried, but the sight of them triggered my anxiety and caused me to end the session). He said he was fine with getting tested, as he was due for it (hadnt been tested in 2 years apparently), and i was mainly concerned about the fordyce spots.

I actually do have PReP left over from a few years ago, but im afraid they may be expired, so i don't want to take them. I've spoke with my doctor, and he wants to test me in a week with a blood draw (will have been 4.5 weeks since exposure at that point), and then again in 3 months just to be safe. If all goes well, he's going to put me back on prep. I stopped taking it because i was in a monogamous relationship for a few years, and didnt need the protection anymore.

I am a very paranoid person when it comes to STI's and STDs, especially something like HIV. So when he said he had tested positive, it set off my worry.

I'm just hoping im not one of those "rare cases" who happens to contract it from sucking his dick. But, given the stats, level of risk. The logical side of my brain is screaming "Relax! You're going to be fine!" but the anxious side isnt allowing that.

Thanks again for the reply, it helps!

Berry


Offline Jim Allen

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Re: Gave Oral sex to HIV+ person, worried
« Reply #4 on: June 30, 2022, 01:35:31 am »
You're welcome.

Look, if what you posted was your only sexual encounter, the HIV test results will be non-reactive. However, getting back on PrEP sounds like a good idea, so you need a baseline test.

The PrEP next to the additional layer of HIV prevention will prehaps provide you with some peace of mind; however, if you keep having anxiety about sex, consider talking to a therapist.

Quote
I stopped taking it because i was in a monogamous relationship for a few years, and didnt need the protection anymore.

Well, ill mention this should you ever be in a relationship again. If you engage in condomless sex with your partner, you are obviously at risk of acquiring HIV. In relationships, condomless sex is often based on trust or past test results; however, this does not prevent HIV. Any condomless sex means accepting the greater risk of acquiring HIV & STIs.
« Last Edit: June 30, 2022, 01:38:18 am by Jim Allen »
HIV 101 - Everything you need to know
HIV 101
Read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
Read about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
Read about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

 


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