Not so worried. Just need some reassurance...

[NotSoWorried]

First of all, I shall thank Jim and the rest of the mods for the work you've been doing on this forum. I HAD a problem with oral sex a few months later and saw your posts INCLUDING the studies (with links) that really eased my mind. Anyway, enough of that.

I will be 100% sincere with you people. I would be only hurting myself if I lie.

In 2014, I had my first girlfriend. I was 17 at the time, now I'm 20. I don't think it's important to tell her traits, since it's irrelevant to the virus, but I think it IS important to tell you guys that she was a blood donor until she discovered that she had anemia. She told me that during a casual conversation where we weren't talking about health or anything, so I don't think she would lie about that.

We ALWAYS used to have safe sex, but there are 2 situations that I have to tell you:

1- there was one time that I actually rubbed the head of my penis, without a condom on the entrance of her vagina. Should I worry (too much) about this particular situation?

2- there was another time where she was on top and she ACTUALLY put it inside her. Once I realized that, I took it out imediatelly. It couldn't have been inside her more than 5 seconds, AT BEST.

Situation number 2 is what worries me the most, but I have some additional info to tell you guys... (Also, I know that you don't take symptons in considerations, but I should add that I had NONE whatsover. I remember that period very well because she broke up with me a few weeks later and I was very sad about that. I remember those days very very well and I didn't even have a runny nose...)

Weeks later after situation number 2 happened (and after she broke up with me), I got myself a new girlfriend. One important thing that I should add is that she was virgin before she met me. Assuming I got positive from incident number 1 or 2, I had THREE situations with my new girlfriend that could have gotten her infected.

The first 2 are pretty much the same and I was NOT circumsized. The condom broke and I didn't feel it. And that went by for minutes until we went to switch positions. One thing that I SHOULD add is that on that period of time where the condom broke twice (2015, to be more precise), we were already having ROUGH sex. I think that a situation that I should say because she would be more open to HIV if I had it, right?

The last situation where she could have gotten it from me, and to me the most important, was unprotected anal sex. It was the first time she was doing it, and she bled a lot. And I had tottally forgot about my fears at the time (sorry, I wish I could go back on time) and I did it without a condom anyway. Anyway, she bled a lot and I got REALLY close to ejaculating. I should add that I have lots of pre ejaculatory fluid (sorry forbad english). SO I think this situation is the most crucial one and it happened in 2015.

But why am I telling you about this? Well, in mid 2016, she donated blood. To be more precise, July 2016. I had already told her about my fears at the time. She is a NURSE and she actually LAUGHED at my face when I said to her about situation number 2. She said it takes lots of exposures for it to happen and the fact that my ex  was a blood donor pretty much seals the deal. She went to donate blood without telling me and she even sent me a photo of her exams telling that she was HIV negative!

Life went on pretty good on this point until I had (you can laugh) a hair stuck on my armpit that was trying to get out but it couldn't, so it created some sort of ''eruption'' there. Sorry, I don't know the real term of that, but I actually thought it was a swollen lymph node, even though I KNEW it wasn't and mother confirmed it (she is actually a nurse as well).

But that was it for me, so I contacted my ex gf (I got no problems with her) and asked about the issue. She told me not to worry about it, since she does yearly exams of it, and that she did it on 2016 and EVERYTHING was negative. She also went and asked me why I haven't done it yet and told me that I was a child (but apparentely she has problems with me). But then some questions came: what if she was lying? But why would she lie?

Then I remembered that there was one time where I actually went to get some exams with her on some clinic. She actually does exams all the time, I guess...

But my PRIMARY question is: how big (or small) is the chance of me getting HIV from ex girlfriend from situations 1/2 and NOT passingit to my girlfriend on all those 3 situations (rough sex and unprotected anal)?

Facts:

- My ex girlfriend (at least) was a blood donor. I really can't see any reason to why she would say that out of nowhere. She wasn't trying to impress me, since I was a ''slave'' of girls at the time, if you know what I mean...

- My girlfriend tested negative 2 years after situation number 2 with my ex girlfriend.

Sorry for the long text, but I think it was necessary...

[Jim Allen]

Hi

Look despite what your GF the nurse thinks it can and does happen in a single exposure.  Also blood donation screenings mean nothing, neither do her yearly  results. I mean that. Means absolutely nothing to you.

In short this is how i was infected, from a single exposure event it is however highly unlucky.

Your risk was unprotected intercourse so look test and than you will know and move on, go test i suspect you will be fine when you do but its the only way to know. You should BTW be testing at least yearly as routine for STI's including but not limited to HIV so now is great time to start.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, every time, no exceptions.

Keep in mind that some sexual practices which may be described as ‘safe’ in terms of HIV transmission might still pose a risk for transmission of other STI's, so please do get fully tested regularly and at least yearly for all STI's including but not limited to HIV and test more frequently if unprotected intercourse occurs

Also note that it is possible to have an STI and show no signs or symptoms and the only way of knowing is by testing.

More information on HIV Basics, PEP, TaSP and Transmission can be found through the links in my signature to our POZ pages, this includes information on HIV Testing

Kind regards

Jim

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[NotSoWorried]

So the test that my GF (the nurse) done that came negative (after all those 3 incidents) means nothing at all? Also, the risk of someone that was briefly exposed is the same as someone who hasfull on intercourse?

DOn't mind me. After this reply of yours, I will be testing...

[Jim Allen]

Means nothing.

Firstly despite what nurses say regarding confidence in early testing only a 13 week test is conclusive and unless you witnessed the result and test it means nothing and even if you had for good measure even than it means nothing as than you had incidents prior, with the other girl now the fact that she tests negative does not mean your negative. You could have HIV just not be passing it on yet.

Also other STI's are far easier to transmit, and other STI can transmit through oral and skin on skin contact so hence get testing yearly for STI's and whilst your at it HIV.

Jim

[NotSoWorried]

Oh, so even after a year after those situations number 1/2, I still wouldn't be able to pass it to my gf (nurse)? I mean, those 3 situations with her happened almost a year after my exposure to my ex...I actually thought it would be as short as 5 days so that I would be able to pass it on to other people. Well, learning new things everyday. How unlucky would I have to be to get it from a 5 seconds exposure? Damn...

Well, thanks anyway, Jim. Cheers.

[Jim Allen]

Hi

No what it means is that just because someone is positive and could transmit the virus it does not mean they transmit the virus every time. Hence you need to test yourself as your GF's result does not mean you are negative.

Jim