Author Topic: Girlie online friendship & support group (Read 31667 times)

lupetto · « **Reply #50 on:** June 01, 2015, 01:42:54 pm »

Oh my goodness, I can't believe it's June already! Here it's been raining all day but still, welcome summer!

Onyx, so nice that you found and joined us, welcome to the girlie party! And congrats on your first post

It sounds like you have wonderful people around you, that is so great! And I agree with you; no matter how lovely your family & friends are, sometimes you also need to communicate with people who know what it's like to be HIV+. It took me many, many years as well before I met any other positive people but when I finally did, it was so important to me. Just simply seeing that they looked "normal" and weren't any different than any other people you might come across. Sounds bit silly now... But unfortunately I haven't really found good support groups "in real life" - the ones I've been to so far haven't been very active, there's only few meetings a year. So these forums have become a good place to find support.

And you're so right Onyx, it's weird how we don't really talk about this. I was just wondering this the other day. Keeping the secret is tough sometimes and sure can make one feel lonely. I have struggled with that a lot at times. But talking here has helped. Now that I'm starting to become more and more ok with my diagnosis and all that goes with it, it starts to feel strange not to talk about it.

Betty, that sounds like a tricky operation! And ouch, such bad luck to fall down like that! Please take it easy now so you won't hurt yourself. Good that nothing got broken!! I had to do some serious Googling to understand what you've been suffering... Sounds really painful, I hope the operation will finally bring you some relief! I would go crazy if I had constant pain, I feel horrible even with headaches or stomach cramps.

I hope everyone's doing great! Hugs to you all!

keepmyheadup · « **Reply #51 on:** June 02, 2015, 06:28:48 pm »

Quote from: newbie92 on April 14, 2015, 09:13:13 pm

Hello ladies!! It's very nice meeting you all. I'm new to the game haha. I am 22 andI was recently diagnosed last March. Honestly, I'm stupendous. I am still with the guy that I contracted this from and yes, I love him I focus on school soooo much it's in the back of my mind. I can't wait until this semester is over so I can let loose lol. Having this illness is the least of my worries. I live in Maryland if anyone else it out there!!

Hi used to live in MD. I don't know any women that are dealing with this disease. Sometimes it's hard but you take it one day at a time.

keepmyheadup · « **Reply #52 on:** June 02, 2015, 06:32:29 pm »

Hi everyone. It's so nice to be able to talk to women that know what you are going through. I have no female friends that know that I am positive. I would be so nice to have someone to talk to that understands.

BT65 · « **Reply #53 on:** June 02, 2015, 07:13:47 pm »

Hi keepsmyheadup, talk away! And welcome!

Betty

keepmyheadup · « **Reply #54 on:** June 02, 2015, 07:40:28 pm »

Thanks

It's also hard dating when your positive. It seems people are scared or they are not aware of this disease.

lupetto · « **Reply #55 on:** June 06, 2015, 04:42:01 am »

Hey keepmyheadup! Nice that you joined us.

I feel the same as you but all these lovely ladies have helped me a lot and I'm very glad to have found this place of support and understanding. And yeah, dating can be tough already as it is but being HIV+ doesn't necessarily help... But then again, it doesn't make it impossible either. In fact hardly anything is impossible...

Wishing you all a lovely weekend!

BT65 · « **Reply #56 on:** June 08, 2015, 06:38:28 am »

It is difficult if you want to date. Is there an ASO in your area, or an area in a reasonable distance? If so you may want to ask if they have support groups and join one. Sometimes one can meet other HIV+ people and find someone to go out with. Regardless, I totally get feeling power over dating. But it's not an impossible situation. I got married after I tested positive and had a relationship (after getting divorced). Both were negative and remained so.

Anything else you want me discuss, feel free!

Betty

lupetto · « **Reply #57 on:** June 16, 2015, 03:55:22 pm »

Hey girls!

How are you all doing?

I had a very difficult few days some time ago but an appointment with my therapist last week did wonders and I was feeling really good again. Until tonight when all these emotions hit me, all of a sudden. Utter sadness, loneliness, jealousy, hopelessness... I tried calling few friends but no-one answered. So I thought I'll write few lines here, just to get this out of me. Already starting to help a bit.

The beginning of the summer is a tough time for me, has been for some years now. And I hate the contrast to the old times; when summer used to be a time of happiness, joy and sense of freedom. My good friend wants to plan all these activities for us for the summer and is so excited about everything. I simply don't have the energy for any of that right now and feel bad for disappointing her when I don't want to commit on anything. I hope this will pass soon, I'm fed up with being so tired all the time and not feeling "normal".

Sorry for dumping this on you all but thanks for listening. Well, hopefully I'll wake up to a better day tomorrow.

Take care everyone! I miss hearing from you all.

vivyt · « **Reply #58 on:** June 17, 2015, 03:42:28 pm »

Don't be sorry for dumping. Holding it in is what makes it worse. I hope things get better. It's always nice to have someone to talk to. I've been seeing a therapist for years and there are some weeks I can't wait to see her so I can unload. Feel better!

lupetto · « **Reply #59 on:** June 18, 2015, 03:42:42 pm »

Thanks a lot, vivyt! It always helps to hear some friendly words.

I've been seeing my therapist once a week for about year and a half now, it's been such a huge relief for me. Soon we'll have a summer break and after that I start going twice a week at least for a while. Therapy has helped me so, so much and there I find it relatively easy to talk. But with my loved ones I'm having such a hard time to open up, to tell them what's going on or even say I'm not feeling well. It's always been hard for me, I don't want to burden others with my things. It's really stupid because I have something inside me shouting and screaming that I want them to know, I want to trust them, I want them to comfort and help me but I can't reach out, I just feel like curling up in a ball. I tried calling a friend, wanted to say I'm having bit of a tough time, but before I had a chance to say anything she talked and talked about her own troubles. After such a start, I can never say a word of my own possible troubles. Sometimes, while listening to my friends, I even notice I'm wondering, how some of them can so easily talk endlessly about themselves, while for me it's such a struggle to open up even a little and take so much space and time for myself in the conversation. I know it's something I should work on...

But no need to worry, things are fine really, I just need to get over this period again like I have before. Again, thanks for listening.

karry · « **Reply #60 on:** August 14, 2015, 09:14:54 am »

Hello Ladies,
I have not been able to participate on the forum for a while. I am sure happy to be back and just wanted to say HI to everyone. I hope you have all been doing good, enjoying the summer, having some good moments etc.

I am ok. Pregnancy is progressing okay. I feel the baby kick...quite an active little baby.

Unfortunately, nothing exciting has been happening apart from the wonderful little kicks I get...so that's all I have to tell for now.

Hugs to you all.
K.

valjack · « **Reply #61 on:** August 16, 2015, 04:33:20 pm »

Hi everyone! I am a 58 year old long term survivor having been infected in the mid 80's. I have lost many to this virus. I am one of the lucky ones. I am confident (but not 100% sure, only God knows that!) that I was infected by a boyfriend in 1985. We had a relationship and I moved into his house but ended up leaving after four months. Then, a couple of years later, in 1987, I was moving from one apartment to another and called his mother to locate him to borrow his pickup truck and she informed me he had died from spinal menangitis as a result of aids. I asked why I was not informed and she said the diagnosis of aids came at the very end. After he died I learned he was bisexual. I began to get yeast infections, one after the other. That was back when you had to go to the gynecologist for a Monistat prescription. Now it is over the counter. I always asked each gynecologist (never the same one) if an hiv antibody test could be ordered. Each doctor refused saying I did not fit in that category.
I was busy trying to make a career for myself so even though in the deepest part of my mind I knew there was the possibility (more like probability!) that I had contacted hiv I tried to bury the idea and pretend that everything was normal, too afraid to find out. Back then the only treatment was AZT mega dose and people were dying from the treatment.
When the new drugs became available in 1997 I started them and have been totally compliant since. I started meds with less than 14 t-cells (in 1994 when first officially diagnosed at Board of Health I had 64 t-cells)and became undetectable. In 1999 I found out I also had hepatitis C. Thank goodness for the new drugs just becoming available to cure this. I tried Peg-intron and ribavarin in 2002 and could not handle the side effects. I did a clinical trial last summer for 12 weeks one pill a day and successfully eliminated hep C from my body at week #2. Now, my t-cells have risen. They always fluctuated between 350 and 550. Since I got rid of the pesky hepatitis C now my t-cells fluctuate between 950-1200. My ID doctor says I am a rare case that usually when one's nadir is so low they usually have a lingering negative health consequence even when achieving higher t-cells and being undetectable.
I lost a sister to aids, an ex-husband, and many, many friends. I also lost friends to hepatitis C that were mono infected not co-infected. Waiting for a liver transplant that never came.
I urge everyone who is co-infected to get on the new treatment to cure them of HCV. It is one pill a day and I had no side effects whatsoever. Side effects are minimal if at all.
So, now that I may possibly live another 20 years, I am ill prepared to be around that long! I never thought I would be here after getting my "6 months to live" on paper written by my ID doctor.
When I got my first computer in 1999 I immediately searched for and found hiv forums. I made many good friends in the area I lived. We had social get-togethers, renting out establishments for the night (bars) once a month. Sadly, I lost all my hiv+ friends. Most of them passed away due to things other than hiv/aids. Car accident, anuerysyms, heart attack, etc. My ex-husband, after I left the marital home and separated, stopped taking his medication and he refused to get back on them. He recently passed away. We remained friends all the while. It is so sad.
I believe a lot of strife in life can be eliminated just from communicating and learning. The human condition needs nurturing and love to thrive. Just knowing someone is there for you.
Now, I live alone with no family members left. I lost my greatest supporters in life, my mother and father, both medical professionals. I've been blessed that the few friends I do have and my family NEVER EVER treated me any differently knowing I have the virus. If they did or do think/feel any differently towards me I did/do not feel it.
The hardest thing, I believe, is the STIGMA that surrounds this virus. Being uneducated about it creates this.
I agree with the person that wrote "No one learns or cares about this virus until someone close to them becomes infected". This is so true. Be it hiv or any other illness.
valjack

karry · « **Reply #62 on:** August 17, 2015, 05:54:53 pm »

Welcome Valjack! Thanks for the inspirational story. I am always humbled when I read about long term survivors and all they had to endure....the initial fear of a disease unknown and misunderstood, loosing friends and life partners to the disease, uncertainty about a cure..and much more LTSs have had to endure. For someone like me diagnosed 8 years ago, I take a lot for granted, especially the recent advances in HIV care.Thank you for sharing your story.

I wish you many more years with a cd4 over 1000!
cheers!
hugs,
Karry.

truelove1973 · « **Reply #63 on:** September 13, 2015, 10:49:16 pm »

Hello all. I was diagnosed in 1998 and doing very well. I have lived a secret life up until now. I find it very hard to communicate with those who are not like me so after 16 years I actually feel so alone. Dating ducks so now I'm finally reaching out to those like me. Support is always the best.

PittGurl · « **Reply #64 on:** September 14, 2015, 05:00:47 pm »

Hi everyone - i am new to this too - DX 8/2 this year and just started Triumeq 9/4. I'm so very tired....not sure if its emotions or meds or what. I know i was infected sometime between May and July this year. My long story is in the Newly Infected folder if you are interested. Was either my ex husband (who just left my kids and i for another woman he got pregnant and already had a 9 month old) or a rebound guy right after him.

Anyways, I dont know anyone else positive either....I live in a very small rural town in PA - mostly farms and families. I have told 5 family members and 4 close friends. All of them very supportive. I have 2 kids (11 and 17) on my own and we just moved twice (due to ex leaving us and signing a lease he left me with). My father was just diagnosed with ALS...I was working from home doing Virtual Assisting work but from all of the drama and issues i lost almost all of my work - so i feel like i hit rock bottom emotionally, physically, mentally.....it's been a hard summer.

Im 43 and feel totally alone except here- i agree with whoever said that the men give GREAT advice on the other boards but sometimes you just need a woman's friendship. The biggest thing I am scared about is being alone once my kids leave.

luvtori · « **Reply #65 on:** October 01, 2015, 12:01:22 pm »

Hi everyone! I'm new to this group and I'm actually really excited to make friends that can relate to this part of my life. I hope to encourage those living with this disease. It is an awful thing but it does not need to ruin your life. I hope to eventually come out so that I can be supportive of others and glorify God through this. This is my first step. Who is still active on this thread?

PittGurl · « **Reply #66 on:** October 01, 2015, 04:12:35 pm »

Im active but it doesn't seem that the women's thread is too active in total. Im not sure why.

bigsis5 · « **Reply #67 on:** October 02, 2015, 10:47:21 am »

Hello to all the ladies! I am new to this site and have been reading through your post. Some have hit home for me. Got this from my husband who was on drugs on the down low, he's out of my life now and I'm better for it. I tried the dating thing with others who have the (virus) but the head games they played are stupid and the drama, wow. So I have just put a stop to it all. I would love to have someone to talk with, share and bounce ideas from mind to mind, talk about the "back then" days at my age 60+. My friends are slowly "going to that better place" I was a little depressed but bounced back and on the go again and have decided, to take care of myself, enjoy the people I met at that time and/or place! and just live life to the fullest!

PittGurl · « **Reply #68 on:** October 02, 2015, 09:46:35 pm »

Hi bigsis5 - because you have already been there in the dating....curious...what kind of head games and drama did the poz guys you date present? I just want to be aware bc I am so vulnerable being new to this. I want to get out there but am scared....

Jeff G · « **Reply #69 on:** October 04, 2015, 11:35:02 am »

Bigsis is actually a man with another account on the forum … he wont be posting anymore.

karry · « **Reply #70 on:** October 05, 2015, 04:57:28 pm »

Hi ladies,
I am still active here but less frequent because I am mid third trimester pregnancy. As much as I love coming here to chat, the fatigue just takes hold...plus the last minute preps.

As far as online dating with other pos guys goes, I had my good and bad too. I met a few guys who were not honest about much...for example having kids, their looks etc. I also met some who were claiming to be single but dating many other pos females they met online at same time.

I finally got lucky and met my current partner. We hit a few rough patches in the beginning, but its been about 5 years now of a wonderful and exclusive relationship with him...and our first baby is on th way.

A warm welcome to those who are new on the site. I hope you find it as resourceful as I did.

Hugs to you all.
K.

Rosie117 · « **Reply #71 on:** October 08, 2015, 07:51:33 am »

Sorry, I am on the site frequently on my cell and always mean to go to my laptop to reply to a thread but never do. I want to try to be more active because I think it's important for us women have each other's support. I know it's the same virus that affects us all but I feel like the guys just don't understand what we go through. Hope everyone is doing well!

PittGurl · « **Reply #72 on:** October 08, 2015, 10:11:03 am »

ive had a really bad emotional week - im hanging my hat on the people that have had this longer than me and telling me it gets better. My health is good....its my mind - i am fighting accepting this.

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Author Topic: Girlie online friendship & support group (Read 31667 times)