Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
March 30, 2024, 01:48:23 am

Login with username, password and session length


Members
  • Total Members: 37614
  • Latest: bondann
Stats
  • Total Posts: 772965
  • Total Topics: 66312
  • Online Today: 178
  • Online Ever: 5484
  • (June 18, 2021, 11:15:29 pm)
Users Online
Users: 0
Guests: 160
Total: 160

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Do I Have HIV?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Author Topic: Wow. Ancient history in my closet.  (Read 4810 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Mouse

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,463
  • Om nom nom.
Wow. Ancient history in my closet.
« on: December 16, 2008, 02:26:01 pm »
I feel like I'm a little young to be going through this, but I've been doing a MAJOR cleaning of my mom's place - throwing things out, old toys, old stuffed animals, gathering other things up that I want to keep and organizing them. Putting all of my books together and trying to get rid of some of those, too (but it's so hard to get rid of books).

But, I came across all of my old journals and writing from when I was in 2nd grade onwards and it's so disturbing to me for some reason. I'm tempted to destroy them because the fact that they exist makes me really uneasy. I'm not entirely sure why but I guess it's just the frankness and honesty that I wrote with that I can't seem to do anymore. I withhold information from MYSELF when I write in my journals nowadays because I'm too embarrassed to write about it. There was none of that when I was eight, nine, ten. Up until I was about thirteen or so.

Also, not to toot my own horn or anything, but shit, I was a really clear, concise writer for a eight/nine/ten/etc. year old. That's the part of it that I'd like to retain for later but the things I wrote about. Jeez.

Anyway, has anyone kept any of their old writing/drawings, etc from when they were younger? When was the last time you've dug them out? What did you write about? I'm curious.

Offline PeteNYNJ

  • Member
  • Posts: 979
  • When life gives you AIDS...make LemonAIDS!
    • Dance for Me, Puppets
Re: Wow. Ancient history in my closet.
« Reply #1 on: December 16, 2008, 02:47:53 pm »
I have a journal that I wrote all through HS and into my first year of College.  Talk about denial, it doesnt mention once that I had a crush on a boy or even acknowledge that I was gay.  All it is about is how depressed I was but never the reasons for it.

I don't through it out because it reminds me of the innocence of youth. 

I also keep all my old art projects, most are crap but they are my crap so I like to hold on to them. 

Pete

Offline Peter6836

  • Member
  • Posts: 391
  • Me and my Granddaughter Noa
Re: Wow. Ancient history in my closet.
« Reply #2 on: December 16, 2008, 03:09:51 pm »
I have boxes of journals. I keep them all. Sometimes I feel embaressed by what I have writen. But I have begun to embrace them. I have even started to use them in my collage. I guess words have become more important to me.
I wrote about everything in my life coming out, sexual escapades, bipolar episodes. I have writen about my children, my family, my friends. I have also writen about AIDS and living with HIV.
Keep those journals you will be happy you have them. I have already decided who will have them when I die. Journals are wonderful tools. Many times I do not even read them again. Just the process of writing at the time is very cathartic and healing. Some day you may find those journals to be very healing and revealing to you. Put them in a box and keep them I guarantee someday you will find them to be treasures.
Peter

Offline Oceanbeach

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,564
Re: Wow. Ancient history in my closet.
« Reply #3 on: December 16, 2008, 07:58:20 pm »
Hey Jaser,

I never actually kept a journal, tried briefly but my life was simply too boring and project was dropped.  When my mom died, my sister and our brother's wife showed up at the house with trucks, taking advantage of our fathers grief and took everything they could get in the trucks. 

I saw for the last time, two paintings and a drawing I had done while trying to bluff my way through a high school art class:
1.  An acrylic in total black called, "an example of the classic beauty of the night"
2.  An acrylic in total blue called "seascape in blue"
3.  A pencil drawing of bird feet in a circle called "the pacing goose"

Recently, I was in San Francisco at one of the galleries and saw some paintings done by Grace Slick, also done in the 60's and thought we may have been on the same drugs.   ;D  Have the best day
Michael

Offline BT65

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 10,786
Re: Wow. Ancient history in my closet.
« Reply #4 on: December 16, 2008, 09:05:24 pm »
When I was younger, I trusted that other people wouldn't read my journals-that's why I believe I was so honest then, yet I'm not now (because I think someone is bound to read my journal and I don't want to expose myself). 

I don't have any of my writings from younger days, and wish I did.  Keep your journals (of course if you want to).  They're good to look back on.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Condom and Lube Info https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/safer-sex
Please check out our lessons on PEP and PrEP. https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/pep-prep

https://www.poz.com/basics/hiv-basics/treatmentasprevention-tasp

Offline fearless

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,191
Re: Wow. Ancient history in my closet.
« Reply #5 on: December 16, 2008, 09:58:38 pm »
Jaser,

Please don't ditch them.
I did a huge cleanout in my mid 20's and got rid of so many things that I now wish I'd kept.
You may be disturbed by them now but just put them in a box for safe keeping.
Trust me, one day you will embrace them like Peter, or continue to be disturbed.
Imagine flicking back through them with your boyfriend of 30 years when you are 60!!!
Be forgiving, be grateful, be optimistic

Offline Rural_oz

  • Member
  • Posts: 47
Re: Wow. Ancient history in my closet.
« Reply #6 on: December 17, 2008, 03:15:50 am »
Hi Mouse
I kept a diary (journal) from about the age of 16 to 23.  All those years of turmoil, breaking up with the girlfriend, finding out I like boys, moving cities etc etc etc......

I keep it as one of my most precious possessions.  Those years helped define who I am and every now and then I open it up and look back.

On a slightly different tangent, but relating to history in a closet....  when my Mum passed away several years ago, I inherited a beautiful solid timber chest of drawers that had been her great grandfathers.  When I was going through it I discovered a 'secret' drawer that I had never seen before and inside....
a packet of condoms from around 1960, still in their original packet.    :o

I still have them, I am sure that they should be in a museum by now.   ;D

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,134
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Wow. Ancient history in my closet.
« Reply #7 on: December 17, 2008, 06:28:27 am »
I've kept all my journals from around the age of ten onwards. When I moved from the States to the Rock, the case I keep them in was one thing that was coming across the ocean with us, non-negotiable. We got rid of a hell of a lot of our personal possessions, but no way would I part with my journals.

Keep yours. You'll thank yourself one day.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline skeebo1969

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,931
Re: Wow. Ancient history in my closet.
« Reply #8 on: December 17, 2008, 08:03:31 am »


   I would not get rid of them if I was you.  I also kept journals from the age of 12 to about 23.  I cherished them and my year books from grade school to high school.  My yearbooks became a victim of a Blanche and my journals were destroyed by one Cynthia.  Yep, sadly I can attest to the old saying, nothing like a woman scorned!
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Seadickrun

  • Guest
Re: Wow. Ancient history in my closet.
« Reply #9 on: December 17, 2008, 08:47:15 am »
I went through a very bitter divorce and have been hesitant to write anything down since then.  The simplest things look wretched once an attorney gets done:)

When I was in high school, I used to write everything in code since my mother was extra snoopy. 

Offline Miss Philicia

  • Member
  • Posts: 24,793
  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Re: Wow. Ancient history in my closet.
« Reply #10 on: December 17, 2008, 12:11:20 pm »
I've never written journals and despise people who do so.  However, I did used to draw maps as a child of imaginary countries and kept all of those, as well as architectural drawings of houses.  I'm was a very visual person, not a "words" person.
"I’ve slept with enough men to know that I’m not gay"

Offline Mouse

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,463
  • Om nom nom.
Re: Wow. Ancient history in my closet.
« Reply #11 on: December 17, 2008, 07:06:11 pm »
I've never written journals and despise people who do so.  However, I did used to draw maps as a child of imaginary countries and kept all of those, as well as architectural drawings of houses.  I'm was a very visual person, not a "words" person.

Jeez, I love you, too.
 ::)

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2024 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.