On the topic of hangnail / torn cuticles?

[blahblah1357]

I have read posts about the "theoretical" low risk of HIV exposure through fingering a vagina (potential transmission from female to male), but I don't understand why the following:

1) other websites say microscopic cuts in the finger are a pathway for infection, so why on this site do you guys say it is NO RISK.

2) if a torn cuticle is NOT considered an open cut (does the cuticle have to actually be open and have blood? what about if it is not bleeding, but is still tender to the touch. I am going crazy about trying to define whether my torn cuticle (not bleeding, but sensitive and if I pull the cuticle back far enough, it looks like raw skin.

3) I see some of the moderators saying that in this no/low risk scenario, no testing is required. Is that b/c there are no reported cases, or because there is virtually a nil chance? Is that b/c the testing causes alot of unncessary worry?

4) After my exposure, which could not have been longer than 30 seconds......10 minutes later, I had Purell and Alcohol all over the cuticle. Does that really help?

5) why is unprotected penis-insertion into the vagina a risk for a male, but the finger with a torn cuticle isn't a risk?

I am in this position now and am freaking out, like many others here. I asked two infectious disease docs for PEP, and the both said "no way!."

I take it that I should just move on and forget this slip up I had? PLEASE HELP!

[Andy Velez]

That's right you should just move on. No one has ever been confirmed to have  become infected through fingering. It's a safe bet to say that you aren't going to make history by becoming the first.

The ONLY confirmed risks for HIV transmission sexually are through unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse.

You don't have to believe us and you can choose to worry and what if as much as you like, but it really is that simple. Always use condoms for intercourse and you will be well protected against sexual transmission of HIV.

You are worrying needlessly.

[blahblah1357]

Thanks Andy. Can you, or others, just walk me through my questions above? I know the bottomline, but I am hoping the answers to the questions will significantly help me relax and move on, b/c those questions keep ravaging my mind....especially questions 2) and 5).

1) other websites say microscopic cuts in the finger are a pathway for infection, so why on this site do you guys say it is NO RISK.  ---I GET THE ANSWER HERE FROM ANDY'S REPLY.

2) if a torn cuticle is NOT considered an open cut (does the cuticle have to actually be open and have blood? what about if it is not bleeding, but is still tender to the touch. I am going crazy about trying to define whether my torn cuticle (not bleeding, but sensitive and if I pull the cuticle back far enough, it looks like raw skin.

3) I see some of the moderators saying that in this no/low risk scenario, no testing is required. Is that b/c there are no reported cases, or because there is virtually a nil chance? Is that b/c the testing causes alot of unncessary worry?

4) After my exposure, which could not have been longer than 30 seconds......10 minutes later, I had Purell and Alcohol all over the cuticle. Does that really help?

5) why is unprotected penis-insertion into the vagina a risk for a male, but the finger with a torn cuticle isn't a risk?

[Ann]

blah,

1. We don't have crystal balls nor are we mind readers. If you want to know why other websites insist on putting out scare-mongering misinformation, then write to them and ask them. But, at a guess, I'd say it's because they are written by people who don't have a good grounding in hiv science and are just as paranoid as you are.

2. It doesn't matter. Hiv can only infect certain cells and these cells are not found in the upper layers of the skin.

3. Why would we recommending testing over every little NO RISK situation? We do recommend that any sexually active adult (those who are having anal or vaginal intercourse) get tested for ALL STIs, not just hiv, at least once a year.

4. It might help you feel better, but as far as hiv goes, it makes no difference in your NO RISK situation.

5. This goes back to hiv only infecting certain cells. These cells ARE found in your urethra (where you pee/cum from) and the inner side of your foreskin (if you have one).

Give it up and get on with your life.

Ann

[Ann]

blah,

I just deleted a post you left in someone else's thread. If you read the Welcome Thread before posting like you're supposed to, you will have read the following posting guideline:

Only those Moderators and members who are authorized to answer questions in the Am I Infected? forum are permitted do so. Unauthorized responses may be deleted without permission of the poster. Repeatedly posting replies of this nature may result in a Time Out or permanent ban, at the discretion of the Moderator Team.

Please consider yourself warned.

Ann

[blahblah1357]

If someone has a low-risk/no-risk situation that was a one-time situation not to happen again (a dumb stupid lapse in judgment) ---*see earlier post about fingering a gal for about a minute with a torn cuticle at a massage place*, is this something I should come clean with with my spouse about. Even if the low-risk/no-risk situation means I can still have unprotected sex with my spouse (PLEASE CONFIRM)!

I inherently know it is "cheating," but it isn't an actual affair. I was weak and gave-in to a compulsive urge.
I am in therapy now, and wrestle with the guilt.

1) If I tell the spouse, it will cause tremendous pain to her and could cause a split. I feel like it is my punishment to keep it inside (except for therapy). I admit my f**k-up to myself, and the guilt is so painful, I get nausea thinking about it.

2) In terms of just moving on, will time help me move on? I feel so stuck in the moment now filled with guilt that I feel horrible....I would like to personally move past it and hope it turns into a distant fading memory--and LESSON LEARNED!

Any guidance is appreciated!

[blahblah1357]

Thanks for the continued guidance, and apologies for the post. You guys do an amazing service for people. Is there a place I can send a donation to?

[Ann]

blah,

Once again, you should have read the Welcome thread before posting. I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep all your additional thoughts or questions in one thread.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. If you violate our posting guidelines a third time, you'll be given a 28 day time out. Thank you for your cooperation.



Why should you tell your wife about your NO RISK incident, and why would you have to stop having sex with her following your NO RISK incident?

Get a grip and get on with your life.

And make sure you READ that Welcome thread. You won't be permitted to use this website to continue to wring your guilty little hands over your NO RISK incident and that's also in our guidelines. Please consider yourself PRE-WARNED concerning excessive posting.

Ann

[blahblah1357]

Thanks Ann. What about a place to send a donation?

Also, as crazy as this sounds, I did go to the ER after my exposure asking for PEP. The said they wanted to give me baseline blood work, which all came back negative. They told me that I should get retested at 6 weeks, and then again at 6 months. I presume that that is protocol when in the ER situation.

I am doing better each day, and being a part of this forum, reading other people's experience, helps me, too. My mind sometimes gets carried away and I keep thinking that maybe I forgot details to share, or that I missed something, but I know its (or hope) my mind playing tricks on me.

I'll check in if I ever do go for the follow-up testing. I am hoping my post may relate to someone else who goes through something similiar.

Thanks.

[Ann]

blah,

Just because someone works in an ER does not mean they are familiar with hiv testing guidelines. The person you spoke to obviously hasn't a clue, because where there has been an actual risk (you did NOT have a risk), the window period for hiv testing is only three months, not six, and has been for YEARS now.

You do not need follow-up testing. You tested negative because you do not have hiv and you certainly didn't get it through fingering. YOU DO NOT HAVE HIV.

Let me remind you that you will NOT be permitted to post excessively about this NO RISK fingering situation.

As for donations, look in your local phone book for your nearest ASO (Aids Service Organisation). I'm sure in these times of budget cuts, they will be grateful for your money. Alternatively, you could donate to your local food bank. Many people who live with hiv are destitute due to the same budget cuts and having to pay for expensive medications, therefore food banks often have many clients who live with hiv. And thank you, but this site does not take donations.

Ann

edited to add donation suggestions

[blahblah1357]

Hi,

I just rec'd bloodwork back and while HIV- (granted, tested as a baseline), my WBC is upper limit of normal. My neutrophils is HIGH and my Lymphs are LOW. Neutrophils (Absolute) is also HIGH.

Im freaking out that maybe it has to do with getting infected? Or is it completely unrelated?

[RapidRod]

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

[Ann]

Blah,

Why would your blood results have anything to do with hiv? You did NOT have a risk for hiv infection, remember? See your doctor to find out what your results mean. Whatever is going on has NOTHING to do with hiv - but you could be missing something important by concentrating on an illness you could not possibly have and ignoring other causes. See your doctor.

And take heed of the warning Rodney gave you. You will NOT be permitted to use this forum to go on and on about your NO RISK fingering incident.

Ann